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Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
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[-]Advice for my new sensitive Kindergartener ds who is encountering a classmate who verbally bullies and seems to be trying to get others to do the same. Trying to get him to deal with it on his own without getting hurt and with some success so it can be a life lesson.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI would speak with the teacher about the best way to handle this and agree that a 5 year old should not be left to "deal with it on his own." The teacher and the school have a responsibility to address such behavior both for the safety of the children and for their educational experience. If the teacher is ill-equipped to handle I would speak with the principal. That doesn't necessarily mean your child shouldn't stick up for himself, but he should not be left to deal with this on his own as a life lesson.
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[-]Should I bother going to the G&T info session? It's next Tuesday at 6 PM. I live in Queens and work in LI, so would have to leave work early to make it to the 2 hours info session in Long Island City. Part of me wonders whether I already know everything they will say at the info session. (I've already registered my kid and have gone through the Dept of Ed website to see what schools are available.) What do you think? Is the info session worth going to?
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I went last year. While I was very glad that they had the session, it wasn't much use to someone who is already familiar with the process. The information I got that was helpful was: the Bracken is first, then the OLSAT; your child does not have to speak at all if s/he doesn't want to--pointing to answers is just fine; and DOE really does "get" that they are dealing with 4 year olds. Also, the OLSAT scores are age-normed based on 3 month increments (Jan-Mar, April-June, July-Sept, Oct-Dec) regardless of your child's DOB within that quarter. The Bracken by contrast, is scored in 2 month increments from your child's DOB.So, now you don't need to go. the one question parents asked over and over in as many different ways as possible remain...
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[-]I can't believe how clueless I am about playdates, so gotta ask. What's the etiquette on moms inviting dads (and their child of course) for a playdate? I wouldn't feel comfortable if my husband takes our son for a "mommy(daddy) and me" playdate
53 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morecontinued: Today my husband took our 4-year-old son to the playground and it looks like he had fun socializing with one of the moms while our sons played ball. She then asked him for a phone number to invite out son for a play date. I don't really want my husband sipping tea/wine with other moms, while the kids play. It would be really silly for my husband to say "we'll come only if it's a drop off date". Also, if she invited our son with my husband, is it ok if I show up? (I have a feeling she just wanted to socialize with him some more, lol)
[ Reply | More ]I trust my DH and wouldn't care if he went to a playdate. I know my DH though and he's about as anti-social as I am. There's no way HE would be comfortable with it. He would make me take DS or no play date.
[ Reply | More ]I've been to plenty of one-on-one playdates monitored by one dad and one mom. Never once has wine been served. Never had anything head towards sex in any way. Maybe that just means I'm not hot? But, let's just hope that this isn't something any of us really need to worry about? There's plenty of opportunity to cheat if that's what someone wants to do, so either we trust our spouse or we don't.
[ Reply | More ]I made a playdate with a dad I met on the train and that one was in a museum. No wine! Other times with good friends, I think every permutation of mom/dad/wine has happened and no flirting of any sort. There is one mom who flirts with my dh, so he won't go on a playdate with just her and kids. That was his call, not mine.
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Why wouldn't you feel comfortable? Don't worry about it. Doesn't your husband have any female friends? They're not going out for a romantic lunch; they're just hanging out with the kids.
[ Reply | More ]I don't want my dh 'hanging out' at a playdate. He really should keep it in his pants.
[ Reply | More ]He does have female friends, but he doesn't really hand out with them every week+. A playdate is at least 2 hours and at this age kids don't really need parents to be on top of them, so mommy+daddy pretty much have to find topics for conversation, get to know each other better, and so forth. I'm not at all the insecure or jealous type, but some moms are really hot, and some dress a bit inappropriate. I didn't tell my DH not to go, just sharing my thoughts.
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sounds like the jealous insecure type to me. You don't trust your DH not be able to keep himself in check around an attractive woman? He probably sees lots of them at other times, times when there aren't little kids hanging around (which also serve as constant reminders that the other mom is presumably married). I think the topic of conversation for most playdates is the kids.
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This post has made me want to masturbate. I met a hot dad at the playground last week and now he's going to come over for a playdate and some wine...in my head. Be back soon.
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We're close with our neighbors and I wouldn't even blink at any permutation of mom/dad and kids - we all hang out together a lot and we have lots of informal playdates - where the kids just run to each other and then start playing and go where they go - inside or outside. It would be weird to "restrict" my DH (or myself) from that in any way, since it's mostly the kids deciding what they want to do when they see each other. So whatever parent is taking care of the kids hangs out with whatever other parent. A new friend feels different, though.
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[-]"About the biggest put-down [among millienials] is to call someone fake." Snarkiness, the currency of Generation X, doesn't carry the same appeal, partly, the researchers said, because millennials experienced a less hierarchical upbringing than did Gen Xers. Parents of millennials assumed the role of life coach or friend, a phenomenon called "peerenting."
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[-]What did your preschooler eat/drink for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks yesterday? I'm in a serious rut with my ds; we both eat the same few meals over and over. Need some ideas and curious as to what other kids are eating. Thanks!
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | MoreBreakfast was eggs & fruit; lunch grilled ham & cheese; dinner was hot dogs, king fish (caught earlier that day in the surf) and green beans - which my 1YO loved - who knew? MIL is here so they probably ate a ton of junk for snacks. I gave them cookies and fruit/veggie pouches - but they probably had candy and cheerios too. They eat like truck drivers.
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[-]We are so dissapointed we did not get picked by the lottery at Brownstone, we were so looking forward to sending our child there. Now really nervous, since we only applied there and IPS. And IPS had an admissions session this week, with a HUGE turnout. Any suggestions/advice? TIA
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[-]help, 5 yo dd has started to copy her friends drawing verbatim . at after school language class she get upset and says she is tired when she has to draw then copies someone else's. her work from school also seems unfinished or like she didn't understand the assignment.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morehave you had her eyes checked? it might be a vision issue. Or, maybe she really is tired--these are very long days for little kids. you might consider trying to talk with her one night while cuddling--just ask her gently in an open-ended fashion whether she likes school. see what you get. good luck to you
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[-]My 7-yr-old DD is very shy. She just started 2nd grade, but she has not been able to make friends in her new class, and seems to be spending time alone at recess. At lunch time, all the girls sit at the same table except her, because only 12 kids can sit at one table, and there are 13 girls. DD is shoved to the boys' table and eats alone. How can I help her? What would you do as a parent?
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Poor kid. Ask if the teacher has any suggestions? And, like pp, maybe she can invite one or two over for a playdate.
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Definitely talk to the teacher. Ask if they can split the girls up for lunch -- 6 at one table, 7 at another. By 2nd grade, much of the friendships and play are single-sex, so it is much harder for her to be at the boys table than it was a couple of years ago. Ask the teacher if there are any girls who would be good matches for a playdate. Your daughter may identify the most popular girls to have over, but there may be other girls who are struggling and would benefit from a friendship as well.
[ Reply | More ]Thank you, I did talk to the teacher last Friday, but there's little she can do, as she is not overseeing the kids during lunch. She did say that she would talk to the lunchroom supervisor, but according to my DD, the lunchroom supervisor is too busy and unconcerned. I will talk to the teacher again if nothing changes.
[ Reply | More ]I'm sorry you (and she) are going through this. It is so hard. There are certainly ways the teacher can address this problem, even while not supervising (assign groups and have them interview each other over lunch, for example). Did you get the sense that she'd be open to something like that? Also, are there ways you can keep her feeling good outside of class -- other activities she enjoys, friends from outside of school she can play with, etc -- so she doesn't let the troubles at school invade her whole life?
[ Reply | More ]OP: Thank you for your kind words. I may be more upset than my DD! lol She does have friends outside school, and she had a very close friend in 1st grade, who unfortunately ad to moved away. Obviously, we are trying to make her feel safe and happy as much as possible at home.
[ Reply | More ]I'm sorry -- I didn't mean to imply you weren't caring for your daughter. Obviously, you are so checked in to what she is experiencing. I hope I didn't offend you by suggesting obvious ideas. My heart is just breaking thinking about her at lunch (triggered, I'm sure, by my own memories of school as well as my own daughter's struggles in school right now).
[ Reply | More ]OP: Oh, not at all!! I was touched and very grateful for your kind post. I hope whatever issue your daughter is facing at school gets resolved soon too. I think that having just one good friend can resolve most problems. While that is simple for most kids, it's not easy for my dd who finds it 'scary' to talk to kids she is not already friends with.
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Christ, I would talk to the school about the lunch room thing. It seems the numbers are designed for this sort of thing. Definitely support her by scheduling play dates and signing her up for a couple of after school activities that some classmates are in.
[ Reply | More ]NP I normally think that kids should figure it out on their own but this "one seat short" thing is pretty crazy! I agree that the school should come up with a better solution, whether that is assigned lunch seats or dragging an extra chair up to the table. Crazy!
[ Reply | More ]I agree. Make it four seats short or something... musical chairs every lunchtime would have been miserable and terrifying for me as a kid... and it puts a lot of pressure on ALL the girls to make sure someone is reliably shut out so they don't have to worry about it...
[ Reply | More ]OP: Thank you, I will talk to the teacher again if seating arrangements don't change. It seems that even when DD is sitting at the girls' table first, other girls ask her to move because they want to sit with their friends. It both infuriates and upsets me. Telling her that she doesn't have to move, but it must be hard for her when no one has her back.
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As a shy person with a shy child, this breaks my heart! You absolutely need to go to the guidance counselor or assistant principal or whomever handles behavior issues at yournschool. Dd isn't a squeaky wheel, so she gets no oil. That's the way it works. You need to make thus an issue. 7 is too young for them to expect a child to navigate this social issue. Raise hell!
[ Reply | More ]I feel sad about this! My dd (12) would definitely have been the type to "have her back". She told me how she made sure to include the new girl in her class at the lunch table and even gave her a small token b'day gift when she learned it was her b'day this week (she was too new for others to have known). Two things: 1) talk to your dd about how she can make friends--role play conversations. Ask her what the other girls talk about. Some times an object of interest will get others to come to her to ask to see it--definitely keep open the conversation with her teacher. Has she always been like this? There is something called "selectively mute" where kids do not talk during school. Others eventually stop trying to include them. There...
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Who supervises recess? Guidance counselor needs to get out there and observe what's going on. But if you don't call her, nothing will happen.
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agree. it's a cruel world - she may as well learn now that no one is going to have her back when she grows up.
[ Reply | More ]Op- please don't listen to these people. If your child was a bully people wouldn't advise you not to intervene b/c eventually your child would get hers. Your child may not need to know you ares advocating on her behalf, but trust me, your child needs to experience social success at school. She doesn't need to be the most popular, but she needs tools to make friends. Tustin me, btdt, 40 yrs old and still working on my social anxiety issues. . . .
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[-]How do you wash kids' shoes (sneakers/ sandals)? Can I toss them into the washing machine on the delicate cycle, and then let air dry? Or do I have to look up the recommendations for each shoe separately? Anyone with experience? (I'm guess that I can't do this with the all leather shoes-- just the fabric ones).
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[-]Should I join Stephen Wise temple prior to applying to preschool? How much would this help my DC's chances of getting in?
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[-]nursery/preschool question: is it common for art projects in 2s programs to all look the same, only use one color for the whole class (in my daughters class there is a color and shape of the month and all month all the painting and collage projects are with that color and shape.) all the kids work ends up looking almost the same. also, during "free play" the kids are forced to switch acitivites every 10 minutes. the school says this si to make sure they do a diverse type of activities during the day. this is a well regarded nyc preschool (with a VERY long waiting list). all the parents seem happy, and i dont know if i have unreasonable standards for a preschool and/or whether this is normal.
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[-]I am trying to find a native french speaking teenage babysitter for my young child, for just some spot hours here and there thoughout the week (very flexible). I wanted to post at Lycee Francais, but they no longer offer Classifieds for those not within the school's community. Anyone have ideas? thank you so much!
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreThe other French School - Lyceum Kennedy. Do you know anyone at LF? You could ask them to email the class parents? Another idea is to call the Language Workshop For Children on 68th or any place offering French classes and see if they have an interested teacher.
[ Reply | More ]You could probably get a native-French speaking spot sitter through Hands On World in Carroll Gardens in Brooklyn. It's an International Preschool with a strong French class, and all the teachers there are native speakers.
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Look whereever you would normally. Plenty of natve french speakers around. Try sitter city, NYu and Columbua.
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[-]Bday present for 4yo girl? Daughter of good friend, so would like to spend around $35. I think the girl likes princess stuff and other traditionally girly things. Any mom's of girls with good ideas? (I have a 3yo boy who only loves trains, planes, and buses, so I'm at a loss). Thanks!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI think craft supplies are nice too - maybe beads for making necklaces. They also usually love dolls and accessories - Corolle has nice stuff.
[ Reply | More ]are you in NYC? Just went to american girl cafe with DD recently and it was very cute. $20 pp for breakfast and you don't even need to bring your own doll - they have a bunch there to borrow. AG is not my thing (too $$$) but DD (5) enjoyed the trip.
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Last weekend was pretty open although we had a reservation. Cute little high chair thing and tea set for the doll and two course meal with coffee/tea for us. Not bad considering the prices in the rest of the store. And DD's better priced "Dollie and Me" doll stuff fits her AG doll. As a side note, the 18" Madame Alexander dolls which retail for $30-$40 look pretty close to the $100 AG doll if you are on a budget.
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[-]my dh is always second guessing my choices when it comes to our home design. i am a creative person but he seems to ask others for their opinion on paint colors, landscaping etc. it really make me feel bad.
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[-]Hello. I am currently preparing applications for next year's preschool admission. Some of the schools that I am applying to for my child have a very competitive admissions process. Would a letter from current or previous parents who sent their child to these schools be helpful at all or rather do a damage? If the former, is it appropriate to submit it along with the application form? Thanks so much for your insight!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreso there are now two sides of my brain that are warring. the nice helpful side wants to give this op some advice. she seems lovely enough. the evil side is saying, nfw. you come here, obviously for the first time cause you haven't even been here long enough to post in an appropriate tone, and i'm supposed to take the time to give you MY free (and good) advice. get over yourself lady. SNAP! so conflicted....so conflicted
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do not ask for a reference letter. just apply and then once you are in the interview you can try to see if there is an appropriate time to mention it. if not, then forget it. everyone knows someone who went to every preschool. it won't set you apart. it could, however, make you seem tacky.
[ Reply | More ]The lotteries are not real lotteries. If you have a friend at the school see if they can recommend you and at least get you through that part. After that these peoples advice is ok.
[ Reply | More ]Having just gotten rejected from a lottery (and everyone else I know who fits a certain profile, i.e not diverse families), I believe you. But then why do these schools even pretend to do lotteries? Does it just provide them with a screening process so they don't actually have to interview the first 200 families that call on the phone for an app?
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