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[-]Dr. Emily Blake or Cantor Phil Sherman for a bris in NJ? Blake's demeanor seems to get much better 'ratings' on here but I am confused by this clamp situation...anyone use Blake who can explain what she does in the other room with a clamp and what kind of a technical job she does?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreLiterally only negative on Emily Blake is that she is very chatty - on phone and stays after bris a while. But it's also nice because she is very thorough with follow up and checking the circumcision and reviewing the post care. She has a very nice, "spiritual" aura.
[ Reply | More ]We used Dr. Emily Blake and a friend who recently attended my son's bris told me that she thought the service was so beautiful and spiritual, it actually made her feel she'd like to marry someone Jewish (she never really cared before). I thought that was the best compliment she could give to the way the bris was handled.
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DO NOT use Dr. Emily Blake. We used her for my son's bris in 2010 and she did a horrible job and left most of the foreskin on him. When I called her to tell her that three different pediatric urologists said that my son needed to have it redone, she basically shrugged and said something to the effect of "These things happen. It's not the first time I've had this problem." She took no responsibility and this is her CAREER. She didn't even apologize. I DID NOT ask her for money nor did I mention it because money wasn't and isn't the issue. Having a conscience and taking responsibility is the issue. Now 1.5 years later, we've had to redo his circumcision at the hospital. My poor baby had to be put under anesthesia, will be bandaged and uncomfo...
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[-]Anyone seen/used both Emily Blake and Dorothy Greenbaum for a bris? Trying to decide. Used Blake last time but not sure if I should switch.
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Phil Sherman is the exact opposite of Emily Blake. if you like her style you will hate him and vise versa.
[ Reply | More ]What's she like? I'm the one who appreciated Phil's speedy hands above. Every other bris I have been to has been torture, with baby screaming, use of clamps, sometimes even strapped to a plastic platform to immobilize. My main concern was my boy's comfort. I wanted him off the breast for the least time possible and Phil made that happen. We're Reconstructionists but didn't mind his pedagogical differences. Spouse is a pediatrician and preferred this approach. In fact, he refers even non-Jews to mohelim if baby does not get circ at hospital and parents want it.
[ Reply | More ]OP: Blake was really mellow and sweet and lead a beautiful service. Sends it to you via e-mail first so you can print it out for all your guests to follow along. So moving it made me cry, with stuff about his future, etc., and his name/hebrew name on first page, etc. Just really warm. HOWEVER, she did strap ds gently to a board in a back room first and apply the clamp.. so he was held down for a long time and started crying right then, through the whole thing. Brought out on board (covered in blankets), it was done, he was unstrapped and given to me. But there was a lot of crying b/c he was confined for so long. Want the nice service of Blake with the quick snip of Sherman. Where to find it??
[ Reply | More ]Beats me but maybe you could write want you recall from Blake's service and give it as your own speech. My boy was on my breast while Phil spoke, then on a pillow in my father's lap sucking on a hanky corner dipped in wine as Phil spoke more. Husband held his legs for the 5 or fewer seconds of the snip itself. Handed to me immediately to get back on breast while the dancing and singing went on. Then we went into another room and Phil showed us how to do after-care. It all depends on what's most important to you. PS is not part of our ongoing spiritual life so his remarks were not pivotal.
[ Reply | More ]I have the entire service printed out from last time, so I guess i could do that. Have heard that PS is cracking jokes about "working for tips", etc. the whole time, and talking about how great he is, etc... so that part I'd love to avoid.
[ Reply | More ]I have been to many brises by both and phil sherman will not give you the warmth of Emily. He is a show man and it's his show. But Emily did my son's bris. I didn't want the board so she didn't use it. I held my son until the actual sniping time and then my dh held him during the sniping part. We did get my son nice and drunk first with the gause dipped in wine (at emily's suggestion)
[ Reply | More ]Thank you so much for your reply - perhaps this is my answer! Did she put the clamp on beforehand and everything? She told me that essentially the real circ. occurs before the baby is even brought in (when she clamps it in the other room) but I really hated how long he was held down/clamped. Maybe we can do it the way you did. Was she fine with that?
[ Reply | More ]Oh no, now I don't like that Idea at all. If she needs a clamp, she's no Phil Sherman. If the circ is happening at some other time/place really then the ceremony feels like BS to me. I couldn't do anything that led to more than a few seconds of crying so I'm back to Phil. Nobody else out there who does it freehand??
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Thought Dorothy Greenbaum was fabulous. Warm, kind, made everyone feel comfortable (and we had a lot of gentiles at the bris). Phil Sherman puts on a show, it's rote. Seen him a ton of times and he tells the same jokes each time, zooms through it. Don't like him.
[ Reply | More ]ita about Dorothy Greenbaum. She was wonderful. My OB attended and he was amazed at what a wonderful job she did.
[ Reply | More ]OP: To both of you - did you feel like she rambled on and talked about herself a lot? That's one complaint/comment I heard from another person who used her. That is was not "schtick" like Sherman, but that she just "rambled" a lot. Was the service itself nice? Did she put the baby on a board at all or just brought out and put on a pillow?
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Best Mohel: Dr. Eric Diamond. Loved his service. Great circumcision. Baby didnt cry. Has a list you can follow on his website Moheldr.com His list makes it easier to buy all of the things you need. I didn't want to think about all of the stuff last minute... I knew how to plan for everything in advance. My sister also just used Dr. Eric Diamnd. He did her Bris out east on Long Island and he didn't even charge her more to go there. I thought he was very fair. We both thought he was great.
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DO NOT use Dr. Emily Blake. We used her for my son's bris in 2010 and she did a horrible job and left most of the foreskin on him. When I called her to tell her that three different pediatric urologists said that my son needed to have it redone, she basically shrugged and said something to the effect of "These things happen. It's not the first time I've had this problem." She took no responsibility and this is her CAREER. She didn't even apologize. I DID NOT ask her for money nor did I mention it because money wasn't and isn't the issue. Having a conscience and taking responsibility is the issue. Now 1.5 years later, we've had to redo his circumcision at the hospital. My poor baby had to be put under anesthesia, will be bandaged and uncomfo...
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[-]I'm expecting my first child - a boy - in late April. Although we are not Jewish, we would like his circumcision done by a mohel. Can anyone recommend one in the NYC or Brooklyn area who is willing to work with gentiles? Thanks in advance!
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI know a few people who did that. The "big" NYC mohels are Phil Sherman, Emily Blake, and Dorthory Greenbaum. Each charge about 800$ --
[ Reply | More ]DO NOT use Dr. Emily Blake. We used her for my son's bris in 2010 and she did a horrible job and left most of the foreskin on him. When I called her to tell her that three different pediatric urologists said that my son needed to have it redone, she basically shrugged and said something to the effect of "These things happen. It's not the first time I've had this problem." She took no responsibility and this is her CAREER. She didn't even apologize. I DID NOT ask her for money nor did I mention it because money wasn't and isn't the issue. Having a conscience and taking responsibility is the issue. Now 1.5 years later, we've had to redo his circumcision at the hospital. My poor baby had to be put under anesthesia, will be bandaged and uncomfo...
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Why would you circumcise at all? And if you insist, why do it eight days after birth in a cultural ritual that isn't yours. Doesn't it make more sense to just have it done at the hospital when the baby is two days old and much less aware?
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[-]Just found out the Mohel I wanted to use will be away from 5 days before my due date until over a week after. She gave me the names of some others but I am not necessarily comfortable with that since i do not know anyone that used either of them. She came highly recommended. How did you find your Mohel??? FWIW - we are refrom and plan to have the bris in our house.
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what is the name of the mohel you tried? I have a list of 3 names and was planning on just trying all 3 from the hospital
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I've heard of that Emily woman, too -- and have seen posts here. By the way, Greenbaum might even be available. You might deliver a few days after due date (not unlikely, unless you have a scheduled c-section) and have 8 days until the bris.
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You should search here for the Emily mohel as I think there are 2 female ones who are highly recommended and she's the other.
[ Reply | More ]^^^just did it for you. Search mohel and emily and her name is Emily Blake and she shows up in posts and people seem to like her. We used Phil Sherman and some people hate him.
[ Reply | More ]DO NOT use Dr. Emily Blake. We used her for my son's bris in 2010 and she did a horrible job and left most of the foreskin on him. When I called her to tell her that three different pediatric urologists said that my son needed to have it redone, she basically shrugged and said something to the effect of "These things happen. It's not the first time I've had this problem." She took no responsibility and this is her CAREER. She didn't even apologize. I DID NOT ask her for money nor did I mention it because money wasn't and isn't the issue. Having a conscience and taking responsibility is the issue. Now 1.5 years later, we've had to redo his circumcision at the hospital. My poor baby had to be put under anesthesia, will be bandaged and uncomfo...
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[-]Mother to an adorable newborn. Parents insist on staying with me to help care for the baby (their first grandchild). My mother is driving me crazy be
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | More...cause she is constantly second-guessing everything I do - from feeding the baby to hiring a nurse. Anything and everything is fair game. The latest - an old family friend who is a retired pediatrician is giving my mother unsolicited advice re: baby. I appreciate the concern, but what she says is sometimes at odds with what I hear from the baby's pediatrician (who was a referral from my dear OB). What to do? Going crazy here.
[ Reply | More ]how long are they staying? a few more weeks or a few more months? if the former, put up with it and just nod and ignore. if the latter, you have to have a conversation
[ Reply | More ]Sadly, it's two more months - and there is no rectifying the living situation. Anytime I call out my mother's behavior she gets super defensive. No reasoning with her. Sigh.
[ Reply | More ]You should tell her that your doctor said ZYX and that you trust them and will follow their advice. keep repeating that like a mantra. my mom did the exact same thing to me and RUINED my 3 month maternity leave. she was living with me to "help" the whole time.
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Np: If she won't knock it off, your parents need to go home early. You and DH need to make decisions on how to care for db, and to enjoy DB. There's no room for him to be a co-parent if everything is a negotiation between you and your mom. Pushing back on your mom is important to your marriage.
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If you can believe it, DM attacked my pediatrician, saying they **can't** be good because they charge an exorbitant amount for a visit and don't accept insurance. Honestly, I don't even have a retort for that. Sigh.
[ Reply | More ]I am the OR above. you cant reason with your mom on that stuff. so dont engage. just say, well, this is what I am going to do. have her come to the doctors appt with you. that helped with me actually. yes, i brought my mom to both the OB and the Ped. it shut her up.
[ Reply | More ]Thank you! You are SO lucky that bringing your mom to the OB and the Ped worked. i made the mistake of brining my mother with me (she insisted - no surprise) to the Ped. Mistake. Even though my mother (English isn't her first language) can't really follow what the Ped is saying, she is convinced the Ped (with 40+ years of experience) has *no* idea what she's doing... I agree, sometimes there is no reasoning with my mother.
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Np: this is your chance to renegotiate your relationship with your parents. Of course you don't need to be mean, but you need to establish your authority in re DB. Your mother is no longer the only infant in your life. It may be a tough adjustment. But think of db, and do it. If you can't set boundaries with her when you're postpartum, you never will.
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just remember that everyone is acting out of love. everyone wants the baby to have the best. just nod and smile and be grateful for the help. as another pediatrician, i'm quite sure none of the family friend's advice is affirmatively harmful, so just roll with it. the time together will be so much nicer and more memorable if you stop sweating small stuff. it really doesn't matter -- baby will be fine, and this should be a happy time for all of you. it's not the time to start having major power struggles. gl!
[ Reply | More ]Thank you so much for your reply - the thing is, do I constantly act on the second opinion? i feel that if I do not, my mother won't stop nagging (she nags on everything). Trying desperately to enjoy this time with the newborn, but my exhaustion plus the constant criticism (and personal attacks) are wearing on me.
[ Reply | More ]I think if you pick your battles, she'll relent. if it's something that's just stylistic, or 6 on one hand, half dozen on the other, then just let it go. if it's something where it's been demonstrated that your way is better, just say, I'd like to do it this way this time, and then do what you want to do. the key is not to get riled up about it.
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[-]Anyone tried the snuza movement monitor? Thoughts? Reviews? Is it loud enough to hear through monitor if baby sleeps with white noise machine too?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Moremost of the movement monitors are nearly deafening when they beep. in fact, a big problem is to forget to turn it off before you lift your child for late night feeds/changes when you are half-asleep, and then trigger it accidentally because the monitor detects no movement. that surprise can be quite jarring to you and baby.
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[-]New nanny just started this week. She's very patient and sweet; I like her a lot. But one thing I didn't notice during our interview, and even during the half trial day that we did (because I was deliberately keeping my distance from her and the baby so I wouldn't interfere) was that she actually smells like a smoker.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI didn't mean to hit publish just then! Anyway - what would you do? Our contract says she shouldn't smoke around the baby at all - but my understanding is that third hand smoke is dangerous enough that we should find someone new. Thoughts?
[ Reply | More ]she might be married to one - I hated that my clothing smelled like it when I did not smoke
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[-]DS is 5 months and keeps rolling onto his tummy to sleep. I put him on his back and he rolls right back over. I am worried about SIDS, but really, I have never known anyone who lost a baby to this anyway. Has anyone on this board ever known any baby to die of SIDS? Am I worrying over nothing?
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If the baby keeps rolling over on his own, there is not much you can do about it. I think if you minimize all other risk factors -- use an overhead fan, no bumpers, etc., you're doing everything you can.
[ Reply | More ]can he roll from front to back on his own? can he lift his head up and move from left to right? thats what matters in terms of them clearing their airway
[ Reply | More ]my db did the same thing. i checked the monitor frequently. always turned him around when i noticed him on his stomach. (SIDS in the family so i am extra paranoid)
[ Reply | More ]Keep crib clear of fluffy things that he could roll over on to/padded bumpers/blankets and if he can roll stomach to back and has the neck strength to lift his head while on his stomach, you are very likely in the clear. Ask your pediatrician to ease your worries, but I don't think you're being foolish. I do think you baby's risk at this point is pretty darn low- especially if you don't have any other known risk factors- no smoking around the kid/in the house, safe crib...
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[-]My ds is almost 4 months. We never got an excersaucer or jumparoo...do I need either of these things? How much use is typical from either? tia
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreKids don't need help learning to stand. Crawling is really good for them, the reciprocal movement helps dve
[ Reply | More ]I don't think most people get those to help their kid learn to stand, but rather to keep them corralled and entertained when necessary. So.. necessary for the kid, no. Necessary for the parent trying to make dinner? Definitely! (although OP has the jumping thing to keep her covered on that front)
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[-]Need a recommendation for a jogging stroller please, to be used primarily for running. Bob revolution or bob ironman or other? thanks
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morecheckout the mountain buggy stroller at www.thedapperbaby.com
[ Reply | More ]I have the Bob Revolution. It's really smooth and it rolls over the "terrain" in Central Park. I don't run, DH does. Unfortunately, my DD didn't like going running in it so he never uns with DD. But we use it on weekends sometimes -- it's a pain in stores or for public transportation but good for walking, very smooth.
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[-]DS's 4 Month shots this week. Did you break them up or all together? Reasons for whatever you chose? TIA
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[-]My 9-week-old hates his father. They were fine together the first 7 1/2 weeks, including 2 full weeks when Dad stayed home with him while I worked. A few days later, baby started screaming, painfully and inconsolably, any time Dad is around--including when I'm around too, unless I'm holding him. Dad stays home with him 1 day per week and he will scream the entire 9 hours. Will take a bottle from me, if Dad puts a hand on it will start shrieking. My husband is an awesome, gentle, and confident dad...we have no clue what to do about this. It's destroying us right now. Advice? I'll happily pay for professional help, but are there baby psychs out there? Desperate!
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreaw I am sorry! are you EBF the rest of the time? maybe he needs more time with dad.no way he actually hates him.
[ Reply | More ]a 9 week old baby can't hate anybody. It might be a smell, so try changing the soap or cologne that DH uses. It could be scrathy clothes, a loud voice, etc. Experiment
[ Reply | More ]Ouch, that's tough. How about taking a shirt you've worn and using at as a burp cloth while doing the skin to skin with dh? Maybe your smell will help calm db
[ Reply | More ]Please don't take your baby to a shrink!? This is totally normal. My 4-month-old did this for a week around the same age and then quickly got over it. It's sad for the time being, but yours will too!
[ Reply | More ]OP: A week or two or three would be fine. I just worry if it's a few months like some people say...DH has to watch the baby once a week, and the evening/weekend shriek-fest is really upsetting to our older daughter. I think a shrink is ridiculous too but we are already so overtired and overstretched this is hard to handle.
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[-]Suggestions for how to get a 7 week old to nap during the day? She sleeps well most nights, but usually only has one long (hour+) nap /day (after our AM walk) unless in the car. She still can't sleep if flat (no flames pls but i'll take suggestions. we've tried the rolled up towel under the bassinet mattress to no avail). She likes white noise machine, not a huge fan of the swing or bouncy for sleeping. We swaddle at night but not sure if we should do so for naps or if it will confuse her
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OP: I just worry that she is overtired - when she doesn't nap well during the day, she also sleeps more poorly at night and seems uncomfortable/fusses all day. I'm not sure if it's just gas discomfort (in which case there's not much we can do), but many days she'll nap from 8-9:30 am, and then only drift off for 5-10 minutes here and there until bedtime (~9pm).
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I for one think that there is no such thing as "napping" at this age. 7 weeks is still very much a newborn. They sleep when they sleep. They don't develop any real sleep "habits" until 12 weeks (according to all the sleep books).
[ Reply | More ]are you putting her down frequently enough? babies will have a harder time settling if they are over tired. I figured this out too late for my 1st, but my 2nd has been much easier. mine 2nd db slept every 1.5 hours during the day until 5 months. She slept in a glider/swing. anything takes time for adjustment. try the swing each day and she will get used to it... if you want her to. good luck!
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[-]My mom ia going on a s. african safari. Baby #2 is due the day she gets back. Is it safe for her to visit right away? I plan on asking OB at next appt. but just wondering if anyone had a similar situation. Will she need to stay away for a certain period of time? TIA
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I don't understand people like you. Why should people think it's "All about them?" Why shouldn't her Mom go away? It's her second baby. Her Mom shouldn't re-arrange her life just because she is having another baby. I would be thrilled if my mom could have gone to Africa when I was pregnant.
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she probably had this planned out before baby was thought of - most people do not spontaneously go on african safari
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All I can tell you is that I had to get a boatload of shots before going. So, since South Africa is safer disease-wise and she has presumably been inoculated for everything, you would think it would be fine. That being said, inoculation doesn't mean she didn't catch anything. As an example, malaria is still around there, so she was given malaria medication. It should keep her from getting it, but it COULD allow her to get it and just keep her from dying from it. While she would be ok, your baby might not. I bet your ped. will advise against close contact for 3 weeks, just to be safe.
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[-]Had my 1st DC 16 weeks ago. Still no signs of AF. Not BF. Should I be worried?
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[-]My 3 mo ds sleeps great at night (7-7, occasionally waking once to eat), but his naps are so unpredictable! I'm trying to get on some sort of schedule/routine before I go back to work in a month. Some days he'll only sleep 15 or 20 minutes a couple times during the day! This just started happening last week and this week it's been the same. Help!
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreyou should try putting him down about 2 hours after he woke up. as you get him used to a more specific nap schedule, he will start to nap a bit longer. so work on timing first. we did nap at 9 AM, then at around noon, then at around 3 or 4 and then back to sleep at 7 pm
[ Reply | More ]I have been dealing with this! Hesitant to call it a "problem" when I hear how crappy night sleep is still for some, but it is tricky to make sure DD doesn't get overtired during the day. I think for babies that sleep so well at night, you are not going to get long chunks during the day until they can stay awake for more than a few hours at a time and consolidate the cat naps. PP advice re: putting him down every two hours is good. After doing this for a few weeks, DD has started to sleep more like 40-50 minutes three times a day at roughly the same time each day. It will happen but I don't think you can be totally rigid. If they are not tired, they won't sleep.
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[-]Hi - new mom here. For those of you that use a car seat/stroller or snap n go, how do you dress the baby for walks during the winter months? I'm using an uppababy with the bassinet now and have a bundle me with puffy coat, but my baby can barely fit in the car seat with both the coat and bundle me. The bundle me alone doesn't seem like enough, though for a longer walk. TIA!
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[-]5 mo ds is regressing and wakes up screaming every hour during the night. Ped. suggested CIO..soothing him at 10, 20, 40, 80, 160, etc., minute intervals. Can talk, touch, adjust, but don't pick up. Just read an article that a woman successfully used ferber method, but now her kid won't cuddle. Don't know what to do. Also, for this method, does each duration start at t=0 (e.g., put kid down at 8, go in at 8:10, 8:20, 8:40, etc., or is it 8:10, 8:30, 9:10, etc.)?
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I doubt her kid doesn't cuddle because of CIO. As a matter of fact it sounds like a pile of horse shit to me... CIO will teach your child to soothe himself to sleep and will make you feel like a human being again. All it takes is courage.
[ Reply | More ]I just have to respond here-- courage? CIO teaches a kid to give up bc no one is coming to aid him. I admit, this may be necessary for many parents who have to work it he a.m., etc. and must make their sleep needs trump the needs, emotional or otherwise, of db, so I don't fault those who use CIO. But please don't imply that those of us opposed to it lack courage, that's ridiculous.
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5 MO is likely teething or going through a growth spurt. Comfort and feed if necessary. Don't go in immediately - give it 5 or even 10 min.. longer than that, go in and comfort - feed if you feel he's hungry. Tylenol if you think he's teething (red cheeks, diaper rash, chewing on everything??) I'm not against CIO- very against running in every time they fuss - but there's def. something in the middle. You're the mom - you know the cries. If he's in real distress, go in and comfort!
[ Reply | More ]OP: went to dr. today to make sure he was ok...has had an ear infection in past. Dr. said he was fine and no sign of teething. No growth spurt that I can tell. Got rid of his swaddle last week. Went through 3 nights of hell, great on day 4, every night since is getting progressively worse. Got rid of swaddle because he was breaking out - we had used the miracle blanket.
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probably, but I'm told that I'm establishing a pattern of coming in and picking him up to calm him (he won't settle otherwise...trust me I tried. Often times the only way he doesn't scream is to put him in the swing. I think that I just have to get used to the CIO idea and commit...it is just not my first choice, but I'm obviously not making progress...not looking forward to it.
[ Reply | More ]I hate to say this, being the de-binkying mom tonight, but that's how my two got through this stage. They used binkies as tiny infants, lost interest, and then at 4-6 months - WAH! If a feeding and a snuggle didn't soothe them, binky did. Yes, we had separation issues a year (or two) down the road, but it apparently was a devlopmental stepping stone they needed. To each his own.
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I am anti CIO, though dd has made me really consider it. Now that I've outted myself on my POV, I just want to say that your ped has no expertise or special, magic wisdom on sleep training. Just bc they are docs doesn't make their word gospel on this, they can only tell you that it's not an ear infection so train if you want. Every hour waking sounds like pain, not habit, IMO. Go w your gut. And, btw, teething pain can be excruciating long before you can see bulging gums and other signs. GL
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