Most Popular Topics
- i'm pretty sure my 16 yo smokes pot with his friends on weekends. no proof, but 99% s...
- SAHM here - just moved to NYC - why do NYers stare so much? We live on UES & during t...
- Spinoff of earlier post re: honeymoon registry. Is this really awful and tacky? Fianc...
- Should I go camping? I don't like the great outdoors, or dirt, bugs, animals, cold or...
- Reading the post below about 16 yo ds. So, what would be the UB general opinion about...
- PIM here. I'll try just one or two to see how it goes, assess from there. Shoot.
- Who is on? Location/age/occupation/why you are here?
- SAHM: Almost all my SAHM friends let their kids watch TV (one even brags about her D...
UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
Already voted? View Results
Stay Connected with UrbanBaby: 
Flashback
UB Like it's 1776!
Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
More reminiscing about laughs on UrbanBaby »Inside UrbanBaby
UrbanBabyBuzz
There has been some major talk this week about motherhood from TIME Magazine’s cover “Are You Mom Enough” to varied discussions related to the new book The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women by ...
More »
UrbanBabyNewYork
Happy Mother’s Day!
GoPirate SchoolAhoy, maties: This one-man family vaudeville show teaches kids how to be pirates with funny, zany details on how to stand, talk, sing and laugh like Buccaneers. A blend of clown theater, music and magic ...
More »
[-]I live in an affluent NY suburb in central NJ, Princeton - an $800k-$1mm house value nabe to give an idea - and am finding the neighbors more and more into labels and cliques as the neighborhood slowly rolls over. I mean, I like nice stuff, but I'd never let my kid run wild while wear name brands and pretending I wasn't a trustafarian. In short, I dislike the lack of real-ness, and how moms in general never work so kids are left out if moms are employed. I don't want to diclose what DH and I do, but both jobs are relatively moveable. What's an intellectually stimulating yet not snotty place to you, where you can have enough land to grow a garden? If we were to move someplace low-cost, I'd be willing to not work then.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreuh, i've got news for ya. all places where the public school is respectable is like that. coast to coast. damn annoying.
[ Reply | More ]I like being around poorer, family oriented people from other countries. I prefer those people over social climbing people. Schizophrenics also tend to be less likely to recover in industrialized nations than poorer ones.
[ Reply | More ]-
[-]When did you introduce your wife to your parents? If she was a different race, did you tell them beforehand? Thinking of finally introducing my AA girlfriend to my parents. I am White. She is the first AA I dated & fell in love with in grad school. We are planning to elope after we finish our studies (PHd programs).
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | More
[-]Why is the news so depressing? All this policial bickering, race wars, SAHM vs. WOHM, bad economy, no jobs, bad healthcare, fat kids, fat adults...Where is the joy in life?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | MoreYou are seeing things through a cloudy lens. some people can let the comments roll off and others take them as a sign that the world is ending. Here you go, maybe this will cheer you up. It's comedy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw
[ Reply | More ]
[-]Any chic birthday gift ideas for DB? 30 years old; dresses in an updated preppy style. $200 budget....i usually buy an Hermes tie but wanted to mix it up a little..thank you!
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
[-]Watching SATC movie. I just love Mr. Big! (Chris Noth). He's off the market though...just married his AA girlfriend & they have a DS!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
[-]Forgive my ignorance - I am a native English speaker but grew up in another country so I'm missing some slang. What does 'mouth breather' mean other than someone who breathes through their mouth? I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends irl. Thanks.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
It's an underhanded way of describing a privileged young man who hasn't the brain to figure his way out of the slightest problem or difficult situation. But it doesn't matter because he is rich and, by association, immune to any need to prove himself. Observe the adolescent populace & see if you disagree.
[ Reply | More ]-
np: (and I use the term here on occasion) That is not what mouth breather means. There is no subtext of privilege. It is a way of calling someone a big dumb oaf. Think of trigonometry in high school, there was a kid or two who sat there with a vacant stare and their lower jaw dropped leaving their mouth open, breathing as they stared into space, learning nothing.
[ Reply | More ]
-
Native English speaker here who grew up in California. I've never heard of a "mouth breather" as slang.
[ Reply | More ]It's not common because it's along the lines of calling someone "retard" - it's not socially acceptable and is generally also meant for adults and you would not call adults "you mouth breather" to their face, because they would probably "take offense and kick the shit out of you" if they are, truly, a mouth-breather
[ Reply | More ]
I have only heard of it as someone who breathes through their mouth-maybe because of a sinus issue
[ Reply | More ]Yes, means an idiot "caveman" who is too busy breathing to form intelligent thoughts. If you ever also hear "knuckle-dragging" ... same thing.
[ Reply | More ]-
-
-
-
-
-
Hmm...My 6 week trek across SE Asia probably - Singapore, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam & Cambodia
[ Reply | More ]-
-
I once took a woman I was dating (I'm a dh) sailing for a week and the only time we put clothes on was when we were in port for supplies (or in the evening if it got brisk.) It was not an exotic location but definitely an exotic experience.
[ Reply | More ]-
[-]Tell me what restaurant (cuisine- am in SF Bay Area) to pick for date night with DH tonight? All we do lately is once a week fine dining- French/Italian/American.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI've got a GREAT rec for you: Vanessa's Bistro on Solano Ave in N. Berk. It is an upscale Vietnamese small-plate place, everything is truly scrumptious.
[ Reply | More ]OP: are you a psychic? Was planning to drive to Berkeley for sure- to try a Jamaican pop-up restaurant.
[ Reply | More ]ha ha, no, just lived there a long time. jamaican sounds fun, don't know that spot. bon apetit, and keep vanessa's on your list for future evenings out.
[ Reply | More ]I tried Vanessa in Walnut Creek. We liked it! Any other recommendations in Berkeley/around?
[ Reply | More ]Oh goodness, yes, millions of good spots: On Solano - Rivoli (CA cuisine, fine-ish dining), Kirin is great Chinese, Lao-Thai Kitchen a little more hole-in-the-wallish but very tasty and also has soul food on the menu, Fonda is a very fun tapas place; more downtown Kirala is great sushi, Vik's Chaat House is very very casual (not for dinner - chaat is like Indian munchy food, Cafe Gratitude (if it is still there) on Shattuck is a fun vegan semi-raw sort of place, Picante is big and barny but a great place to take kids for taqueria food. I mean there are a zillion great places, jut depends on what you like.
[ Reply | More ]I love ethnic restaurants- Indian/Middle Eastern/Asian, but am a wine snob, so look for a decent wine list for dinner. Going to Ajanta for lunch for Mothers Day. Love Nepalese food - great momas in Berkeley. We tend to go to Yountville (fine dining) for date nights.
[ Reply | More ]Ah yes, forgot Ajanta (didn't know the info below that it is an Alice Water favorite.) Ok, for nice night out/good wine I would defnitely keep Fonda, Kirin and Kirala in mind - they are all nice enough that drinks would be a part of things and Fonda has a fun bar downstairs in restaurant. Others are pretty casual. There is also a very sweet little place called Zatar on Shattuck that I would describe as pan-Mediterranean food - very cozy and homey inside.
[ Reply | More ]
-
Don Pisto's in North Beach (no sign so get the address right), Brenda's French Soul Food on Polk St, Wexler's (BBQ/Smoked), Kokkari (greek), Tacolicious (yummmy), Dosa (Indian) and Ajanta on Solano (Indian restaurant and Alice Waters is quoted as saying its one of her favorite places).
[ Reply | More ]
[-]Reading the post below about 16 yo ds. So, what would be the UB general opinion about a 30 yo uncle who secretly gives a 16 yo nephew a box of cigars and a lighter? This happened in our family and the only result has been that our 16 yo feels closer to the uncle and further away from us, as there was a blowup about it. Also, we're distanced from the Uncle (my brother). Any opinions welcome.
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI think anyone who gets 'distanced' from a sibling over something so silly is probably less mature than the uncle and the 16YO DS.
[ Reply | More ]-
-
-
I would have a HUGE problem if someone in my family went behind my back and gave my child something that's illegal and unhealthy as a birthday gift. It's manipulative and wrong. I would consider cutting off the relationship if he has a habit of undermining you and creating problems between you and ds.
[ Reply | More ]OP- no, it was a visit over last Christmas, he's single, he hasn't seen our kids since forever. I think he actually hung out with our son a few nights and then bought everything for him at ds's request, thinking he'd fly back home and have one over on me (big sis), but we caught it.
[ Reply | More ]
OP this post is a general nightmare, I thought I was posting about my brother. I am sick :(
[ Reply | More ]I'm sorry. I'm not trying to scare you,but that is what dutchmasters are for. If this is real I can assure you your kid is smoking weed.
[ Reply | More ]
FWIW Not saying drug use is OK but lot's of kids go through a stage where they experiment with marijuana though it's usually in college and turn out just fine. The best way to get to the bottom of this issue is to be your son's ally instead of making him feel like he's being ganged up on. Good luck with this!
[ Reply | More ]-
[-]If a kid goes to college close to home, should he live in the dorm even though it will mean a significant amount of additional student loan debt?
43 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreYES!!!! Living in the dorm is a rite of passage. Friendships for a lifetime are formed there. It is SUPER important.
[ Reply | More ]-
Let the student decide--live at home or live in the dorm and get a job to pay for his housing expenses. I doubt most college students would not choose to live at home with mom & dad.
[ Reply | More ]What kind of dorm is he living in that will create $50-60k of debt? I think it depends. I had a good friend who lived in the dorms though the family home was less than 5 miles away. It provided a good break for her because she grew up in the small town where she also attended college. However, her parents also worked for the university so her tuition was free which made the onus of dorm fees manageable. If the kid lives in a large metro area, they should save the cash and live home. Most kids in metro areas don't live on campus anyway.
[ Reply | More ]This is in the NYC, and the dorms we are debating are at least $15,000 per year for room and board, and likely to go up.
[ Reply | More ]He should live home. I would think that most native NY students are living at home or sharing a space off campus. They're not living in the dorms, which I would think would be primarily composed of out of state or town students. If he decides to share a space, he should wait a year. Get fully acclimated to the academic side of college and then move out, paying a fair portion of the rent on his own.
[ Reply | More ]
-
I lived at home during university and believe it significantly hampered my experience. When people talk about their college memories, I truly cant relate to most.
[ Reply | More ]I lived in a dorm and it was terribly boring. My roommate smoked outside her door all the time. Brought guys over for sex while I was asleep. Had posters on the wall. It wasn't a college movie. Save the tuition for grad school. Or, if you want to spend it, think of it as a donation.
[ Reply | More ]
-
Know that your child may never move out! My nephew in Boston lived at home while he went to college in Boston. He graduated, what, 5 or 6 years ago? He still lives at home. I think he has no intention to ever leave.
[ Reply | More ]Are you going to make his bed and buy his food and cook his meals and do his laundry? I think you'll do a real disservice to him. Time to kick the chick out of the nest and teach him to fly. I'd make him go to work part-time to pay for his housing and let him live on his own.
[ Reply | More ]I think he should live in the dorms as a freshman bc i think it really helps that first year to be able to forge relationships that are not based on having classes with people. After the first year, he can better determine whether it's worth it to him or he'd rather live at home or even get a less expensive apt w friends. Once you've done the dorm thing for a year, it's a lot easier to not live in the dorms than to be a commuter as a freshman.
[ Reply | More ]-
here was the choice my parents gave me. Go the the very expensive private college in the urban city I grew up in and live at home OR go the the substantially less expensive but also well respected State University 3 hrs away and live on campus. I chose the latter.
[ Reply | More ]Definitely for fresh year. I lived at home as a commuter going to a NYC college and never felt part of the college life. It was harder to plan courses---even with a commuter lounge you may not take some later in the day courses b/c who wants to be stuck with 3 hours to kill between classes if you live off campus? Also it was so hard to make friends, going out at night was not something I did. I really feel like I missed out on the fun parts of college. Ds is in college now and he has a great time socially. By soph. year he moved out of the dorm into an apt. share. It's a big part of college IMHO and he's grown up so much being on his own.
[ Reply | More ]More comes out as I read your responses. If I had a lazy child who wanted to study art and this child did not win a scholarship, he'd live at home, go to work and be going to community college for 2 years. Then we'd re-evaluate the situation. This is why so many kids are struggling with the burden of student loans.
[ Reply | More ]
[-]Ever sleep with a celebrity? If so who was it and how were they in bed?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
[-]PIM here. I'll try just one or two to see how it goes, assess from there. Shoot.
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
I'm smiling and not in an ironic way, so I hope that's what you're looking for! You will be content. And don't knock content v. passion, necessarily.
[ Reply | More ]-
I meant that most relationships start with passion, and where they fall apart is people expecting the passion, midday booty calls, pawing each other to last forever. Doesn't happen. I meant you'll have that attraction, but realize/mature fast that it could become a contentment situation and be happy, and ok. But if that's not you and you're going to need constant excitement, well...
[ Reply | More ]No I get it. I feel deep attachment to current lover of 1.5 years. However they are relocating for a job and it looks like the demise of our relationship. So what's in store for me now? Meeting a lovely new gent?
[ Reply | More ]If both of you are committed, you move (Chicago?), and it works. But unless it's a real love situation, yes, you say goodbye and send Christmas cards in a few years. You will find a lid for your pot. You'll be ok.
[ Reply | More ]No, he doesn't want kids. He, this sounds f'd up, but he gets off on the idea of getting me pregnant while we are doing it, then afterwards says he wants a vasectomy. Not sure why I am telling you this but I don't think it will work out. However I want to meet someone I can build a life together with.
[ Reply | More ]Honey you're not telling me, you're telling yourself. You don't need an amateur psychic to answer this one :( I'm sorry, but I get nice people vibes from you. Cut the loss, grieve, and start looking again. You will be OK. The reason I can believe that is because you recognize what's wrong to begin with.
[ Reply | More ]
-
hi. is my house going to close in june? son math G&T. are we moving overseas? sorry to be so boring. thanks!
[ Reply | More ]haha, I half feel like I know you by now! I don't feel like the decisions have been closed yet on math and overseas, so I just don't know. close in june - hard to separate out the day residue as my practical experience says that's mighty fast- but I feel it is a real possibility, and then you can move on with life. (although on a practical note, if you're selling your house and moving abroad, doesn't math G&T become moot)? Can I guess/sense something about you, if you're willing?
[ Reply | More ]-
Whoa, no psychoanalysist here, just a good guesser! :) Is it true that you do not have many girlfriends, feel you can't talk to your husband too much about this stuff, and are feeling generally out of the loop and expected to make.shit.happen at a moment's notice, whether school, a move, a house sale, etc.?
[ Reply | More ]uh, yeah. for sure. he's like a freaking robot. 24/7 on the bloomberg terminal. very, very decent human being and a good husband and father in many ways but yeah, i have to do EVERYTHING. yeah, not too many girlfriends. i don't know why. i guess i find the commitment too burdensome. i don't think i do but i must unconsciously. otherwise, why do other women have girlfriends but i don't?
[ Reply | More ]-
this is what kills me about people wanting to tax the rich because "a monkey can pick stocks and it certainly isn't mopping floors." they don't get it that it is extremely hard work. i used to work in finance, too, and i hated it. my husband told me before we married that there were some nights he would cry because of the stress of all the positions he was holding. people who don't make big bucks think money falls like manna from heaven for people on wall street if only a person could get his/her foot in the door.
[ Reply | More ]^^that said - and again, given what I do, there's the concept of day residue I have to try to get past - your husband's identity is going to be extraordinarily caught up in his professional life. Could you imagine him out of work? He'd be a wreck, no? As for you, I suspect you like nice things but aren't into the Barney's set, either. You'll find your way, maybe through temple if applicable? Just haven't found it yet.
[ Reply | More ]he's sort of already "out of work." he trades our money now. but now, he says he has to do his own support work so he's busier -- yeah, ok. also, ny closed? well, there's tokyo! we seriously have a ton of money and i am starting to think i need to get used to spending some of it because we ain't blowing through a fraction of it at our rate before we die. i just can't get into shopping. and even cars, i am like, just get whatever is most reliable so we don't have to bother with mechanics -- luckily, lexus is pretty reliable. i don't know. i guess maybe i'll just read a lot of books and watch the kiddies grow and hope my husband and i get a second wind after they leave the nest.
[ Reply | More ]
-
-
-
-
[-]Gym ladies: do you walk around in your thong without a bra while drying your hair? Or are you more modest? The women at my gym (Equinox) are brash. Even if they have cauliflower ass, they mosey around wiggle / wagglin' and I just want to say: "Really?"
31 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI don't, but I don't judge people who do. I wish I could let it all hang out like that.
[ Reply | More ]-
Why are we Americans so uncomfortable around nudity. This is the most important question.
[ Reply | More ]I'm not uncomf with nudity at all, I think it's the manner in which these ladies carry themselves in a public locker room. They treat the area like it's their own personal bathroom. I go in, throw my crap on, throw everything in the locker and do my workout. I don't have time to leisurely rub the free lotion available in VAT size containers smelling of pina colada while spread eagle on a tiny bench!
[ Reply | More ]
It's probably the last place in Manhattan where women get the real deal on other women. Enjoy reality while you're there! It's back to plastic and insecure world outside that locker room door!
[ Reply | More ]
-
-
-
trying to conceive, being bipolar is what's holding me back. I got off meds once so we could try but it wasnt easy and I'm bipolar type II which some people say is easier to deal with during pregnancy.
[ Reply | More ]I think so too. Bipolar 2 is a less severe than Bipolar 1, and struggles more with depression. I think the whole feeling of a baby would be a real anchor for you, if that makes sense. Plus, if you get moody you can always be excused as a hormonal pregnant woman with good cause.
[ Reply | More ]Yeah the problem is the depression is so awful and BPII depression is for me is accompanied by anxiety and agitation. On my mood stabilizer my illness is so well managed that most people would never know. When I'm off them people notice something is wrong and I feel ashamed of it. I have a plan of staying on certain meds that are safe or safer as long as I can during pregnancy but they can still cause some health problems plus I'm afraid to pass it on :(
[ Reply | More ]
-
-
That would be some pretty rapid shifting cycling. You would need to be hospitalized for psychosis probably.
[ Reply | More ]Why is it that it's still ok to mock mental illness? Would you make fun of someone with an unpreventable disease like cancer or Alzheimer's?
[ Reply | More ]i mock myself all the time. it's how I deal. Others should follow suit. It's good for you to bring a little levity to your sitch
[ Reply | More ]I'm inclined to think anything that's ever made you want to kill yourself to alleviate suffering is never funny.
[ Reply | More ]I don't think the mocker knows the extent of what bpd entails. Yes, they can have a high suicide rate, but also more entertainers tend to be bipolar as well. It's almost like a gift and a curse to some people, but with the right medications they can lead very functional lives.
[ Reply | More ]Yeah people would probably never guess that I am BP because I take good care of myself and it's so well managed. The downside is emotional blunting and problems with cognitive functioning.
[ Reply | More ]-
inability to experience or express emotions sometimes all together or to the fullest. For example you dont know what it's really like to feel happy, you know someone loves you and that you love them but the emotion isnt really there. Sort of sleepwalking through life, it's a common side effect of anti-depressants.
[ Reply | More ]
-
-
[-]Be honest. How many friends of a different race do you have? NY is not a melting pot! It is so segregated!
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreHow many races are there IYO? My friends and family are all mixed up - but not sure what you're considering a 'race' - we have black/ white/ hispanic/ indian/ asian and lots of combos of those 4. + americans, immigrants, straight, gay, etc. What do you find segregated about NYC? You'll have insulated communities anywhere - but it's almost always by income/ profession - not 'race.' Our biology teacher taught us the meaning of race.
[ Reply | More ]
[-]What is too much alcohol regularly? Half a bottle of wine? Whole bottle? Half a bottle with aperitif and cognac?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
i would say a bottle a day all by your lonesome and you're well on your way there. also, hiding bottles is a sign. i know two people who did this including a woman who did it during her pregnancy so her husband wouldn't know. he did find them but it wasn't excessive drinking so he just let it go. the baby turned out fine.
[ Reply | More ]
-
