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[+] I'm new to the whole private school thing but why are there 7 year old in kindergarte... 25 replies
- but I cannot even tell you how many suburban mom friends have red shirted their late spring/early summer boys. My son started K this past September at age 4y10m (birthday is November). I have a friend whose son started K in suburban Mass at age 6y3m. Her...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
I'm new to the whole private school thing but why are there 7 year old in kindergarten?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 10:16 AM Flag ]OP: i understand that but my dc has a spring bday and is turning 6, I think it's insane
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:19 AM Flagor: I'm with you but with many schools don't follow their own cutoffs. They come and say turn 6 by 9/1 for k BUT then they tell a boy that is a June bday that they are too young at 5yr and to wait a yr...so the kid will turn 7yr at the end of K. Insane. My ds is an end of October bday..he will start K just after turning 6yr. Not my fav but that's how it workds
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:22 AM Flag
np -- nd they screw up the whole curve of maturity/socialization. We have 3 dc turning 9 in my dc's 2nd grade class next week after my dc just turned 8 last week. One year age difference in a "school year" is unfair and unnecessary. I find this self-centered and unfair to younger dc who are placed in their proper grade.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:21 AM Flag
I'm a NYC public school mom... but I cannot even tell you how many suburban mom friends have red shirted their late spring/early summer boys. My son started K this past September at age 4y10m (birthday is November). I have a friend whose son started K in suburban Mass at age 6y3m. Her son will be 7 before K ends. My son won't be 7 until 2nd grade!
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:27 AM FlagNot the parents' fault if the school won't start a summer boy when he's just-turned-5.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:28 AM FlagMy ds is not yet 2 so this is still a while off for us and I am clueless. If his bday is in July, does that mean Ks will not take him right after he turns 5, and we have to wait until he turns 6? That seems nuts. Is it our choice or the schools' choice, or varies by school?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:45 AM Flag
Because the accomplishments of 6 and 7 year olds look fabulous when compared to the 5 year olds in public school. This lets the private schools justify their exorbitant tuition by pointing out how accomplished their kindergarteners are. Plus, they're easier to teach than younger kids, so you can get teachers to do it for less pay!
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:43 AM Flag
[+] What are some uppity (but subtle) clues about where people vacation. I know about th... 24 replies
- Nantucket Reds are a style of trousers produced by Murray's Toggery...the uniforms worn by the New York Yacht Club. Nantucket Reds are unique in that they fade to a light pink...marketed as shorts, and the trademark salmon red color has been used on hats, shirts, sweaters and socks. During the summers of 2005 and 2006 there was an attempt to introduce Nantucket Reds to the mainstream by the retailer J. Crew. Nantucket...
Talk : : March 28, 2012
What are some uppity (but subtle) clues about where people vacation. I know about the red pants in Nantucket thing, but are there more? I am really curious....
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.28.12, 02:41 PM Flag ]-
Nantucket Reds are a style of trousers produced by Murray's Toggery Shop, located on the islands of Nantucket and formerly on Martha's Vineyard until January 2009. The pants were originally an adapted form of the uniforms worn by the New York Yacht Club. Nantucket Reds are unique in that they fade to a light pink as they age. Since their inception, the cotton canvas pants have been marketed as shorts, and the trademark salmon red color has been used on hats, shirts, sweaters and socks. During the summers of 2005 and 2006 there was an attempt to introduce Nantucket Reds to the mainstream by the retailer J. Crew. Nantucket Reds are worn predominately by summer residents of Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, and Cape Cod in place of khakis or chinos.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:29 PM Flag
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The shape of some secluded island as a design element with no label.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 02:47 PM FlagThe airport code on 't-shirts'or car decals, e.g. ACK, MVY, SBH, etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:27 PM Flag-
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[+] What are you wearing? 31 replies
- Herringbone weave grey pants, sage button-down shirt, grey blazer, black flats, simple small hoop earrings....
- Who said anything about polyester? They make pants and shirts in cotton twill, silk, etc....
- apc jeans, white t-shirt from pearl river, muji socks, red pencil under my eyes...
Talk : : March 26, 2012
[+] Do you correct your kids' speech every time they mispronounce a word? Sometimes it i... 14 replies
- not know the correct way to pronounce something (like "vallina" instead of "vanilla") I will correct it, but if they're trying to pronounce it correctly and just can't quite get there (like, "red shirt" comes out as "wed shirt") I chalk that up to their age and don't bother making them say the word all over again....
Talk : : March 22, 2012
Do you correct your kids' speech every time they mispronounce a word? Sometimes it is too cute and I don't want to be constantly correcting them, however my oldest has speech problems (mild) and I wonder if I should have corrected her more
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.22.12, 06:01 PM Flag ]You don't need to correct like an annoying nag. You can affirm w/ the proper annunciation. "Bobby wuv tucks mommy" -- "Yes, you do love trucks. I love trucks too!"
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 06:08 PM FlagIt depends on what kind of mistake. If they seem to actually not know the correct way to pronounce something (like "vallina" instead of "vanilla") I will correct it, but if they're trying to pronounce it correctly and just can't quite get there (like, "red shirt" comes out as "wed shirt") I chalk that up to their age and don't bother making them say the word all over again.
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 06:08 PM FlagI don't correct, but mostly say it back in a sentence somehow correctly so they hear it. Except when I don't because it's cute, and we've definitely incorporated a few words into family lingo that originated and mispronounced toddler words. And I would not blame yourself in any way, shape or form for what's going on with older kid - we don't teach our kids to talk, they just do it and kids work out the kinks in their own speech at vastly different rate. I'm no expert, but am pretty sure that when kids need intervention it's not because the parents did anything wrong.
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 06:09 PM FlagYeah, I do. Occasionally, though, there's one of such hilarity that it makes it into our family lexicon, sometimes outlasting where the kids even remember it came from. One is that when you try to figure out the right thing to do, remember the "Holly Bibble." (We're not religious but dc once told us that all the right things to do were in that book.) Another one was when one dc asked us to buy the book about "Donkey Hodey." Wait for it.
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 06:11 PM FlagOur favorite non-correctables from 2.5 yr old: binoclee-ers (binoculars) and pachina (vagina). I simply won't rain on my parade by correcting him...
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 06:20 PM FlagHow old? My 3yo will mispronounce things for weeks (months?) then suddenly start pronouncing it correctly - e.g., phone went from shone to phone sometime in the last month. When he was two he said "wuwus'" and "wuwu buwu" for wheels and wheel barrel. Has been pronouncing those just fine for a year or so. I never repeat his mispronunciations though, like PP, I will use the word correctly in a sentence.
[ Reply | More ]03.22.12, 07:53 PM FlagDepends. Some things are too cute to correct. My son loves his ungrella and I like it that way.
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 02:39 AM Flag
[+] Spin-off: Where does this idea come from that children only get 6 months out of their... 11 replies
- thin boy as well. Length is always the problem--for shirts as well because of his torso length. I've...and fashion wise, Wranglers or red tab Levis have been known as the best...a lot - not a priority for me. shirts last forever, it's the pants....
- years out of them). I buy his shirts one size up sticking to certain brands--Ralph Lauren...Too cute: cuffed Wranglers or Levis, western style shirt, and oxfords. Totally looks like he stepped out of...
Talk : : March 18, 2012
Spin-off: Where does this idea come from that children only get 6 months out of their clothing? Seems like a cheap or wasteful parent's cop out. Even the items that I purchase dead-on sizing I get at least a year out of, this with growth spurts! A dress becomes a tunic worn over leggings or skinny jeans, too short jeans become cut-offs for summer or worn as capris(girls),most clothing is a length problem rather than a width. I also sew so I can add a cuff or a cute patch to knees. I often buy one size up also depending on the adjustable tab included in most kid's clothes to take in the width--I spend on my children's wardrobe knowing this and I always receive compliments that they look nice.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.18.12, 01:43 PM Flag ]Kids grow at different paces. I have boys and they're young - but I rarely pay more than $5/ $10 tops for an item. They blow through clothes like nobody's business - stains, holes (even the good stuff). They wear uniforms now and go through those too - and they're expensive! I'll admit that if I had girls I'd probably splurge a bit more - just because little clothes are super cute. But shopping sales and off/season I do pretty well. If you're talking just clothes though? I spend about $150 3x a year - for both kids (they're pretty much the same size). Much more on shoes because they need school shoes and sneakers and I think good shoes are very important. + those feet grow like weeds.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 01:59 PM FlagMom of 5 year old skinny boy in the 95 height percentile here. His pants get way too short in a matter of months and capri style doesn't work with sneaker-like boy shoes. They get ripped off at the knees in a mater of months too. I don't sew, have no plans for learning how to, and anyway, I work full time and don't have the time to work fixing them. So when they don't fit anymore, I donate them (if in good shape), throw them out (if holes in knees), go to GAP, Daffy's or Old Navy, and buy a few more pairs. So this may be one of the places where this idea comes from.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:12 PM Flagop: I have a very thin boy as well. Length is always the problem--for shirts as well because of his torso length. I've found that what works best is to purchase his jean size one up as long as they have an inner adjustable buttonhole waist(most kid's jeans come with this now-I don't know why they don't start doing them in adult jeans, would really help those of us who are pear shaped, no more waist gap & no alterations). Holes in the knee were a problem for me until I found the best jeans going: Wranglers pro rodeo jeans. They withstand the wear and tear of a little boy...and fashion wise, Wranglers or red tab Levis have been known as the best classic jean for some time now. Wranglers MJP pro rodeo competition tested jeans: THE best.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:18 PM Flagthis. I have a really big kid (90th in height, 80th in weight), and he grows crazy fast. worth pointing out: boys don't wear tunics.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:23 PM Flagop: I have a boy that grows fast as well. I buy his jeans one size up with an adjustable waist cuffing the pants until they're the perfect fit (which means he gets at least 1-1.5 years out of them). I buy his shirts one size up sticking to certain brands--Ralph Lauren for example is great for thinner boys. I've found most Euro brands and higher end ones better because middle market cuts their items wide. This gives me the needed length without so much width.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:35 PM Flag
It depends on how fast they grow. I will be the first one to make some jeans into capris, but they will still need jeans. (stuff lasts a while, but new stuff always comes into play). that said, we don't spend a lot - not a priority for me. shirts last forever, it's the pants.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:25 PM Flag
[+] If your child is born in December 2008, what year will he enter private school kinder... 12 replies
- red shirting would be 2015...
Talk : : March 15, 2012
[+] Skinny red jeans -- hot or not? I saw them on someone today and thought they were ver... 9 replies
- I just bought a pair. I wear them with a light blue silk button up shirt and a navy blazer....
- Sounds cute! I love red and blue together...
- True Religon Black paired with a white T shirt and Manolos...
Talk : : March 14, 2012
Skinny red jeans -- hot or not? I saw them on someone today and thought they were very cute. Perhaps paired with a casual top and flats. I think you probably have to have a certain body type to pull it off though.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.14.12, 03:18 PM Flag ]I think they are super-cute but you have to be a supermodel to look good in them -- though I think that goes for skinny jeans in general. I see a lot of people in skinny jeans who really should not be wearing skinny jeans. You should actually be *skinny* to wear skinny jeans.
[ Reply | More ]03.14.12, 03:32 PM FlagI just bought a pair. I wear them with a light blue silk button up shirt and a navy blazer.
[ Reply | More ]03.14.12, 03:52 PM Flagthese are more flattering. http://www.jcrew.com/AST/filterAsst/women_pants_filter/favoritefit/PRDOVR~47433/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~~0~15~all~mode+matchallany~~~~~waverly%20chino/47433.jsp
[ Reply | More ]03.14.12, 04:51 PM Flag
[+] Spinoff: It's amazing how rigid people are about blue for boys, pink for girls. My 1s... 15 replies
- her dressed and thought it was a boy - there were flowers on the blue shirt but this woman just felt she had to give her input. In the boy first...boy's color because it was felt to be a watered down babyish version of red! Blues were considered for girls because they were supposed to be calming and settled. No...older boys, ages 12 months and above in the form of a button up shirt or polo depending upon their own physical coloring. The problem with baby boys is that...
Talk : : March 13, 2012
Spinoff: It's amazing how rigid people are about blue for boys, pink for girls. My 1st is a boy and my 2nd is a girl (5 weeks old), so she wears a lot of his old blue clothes with the girly pink socks mil got her. People can't get over her wearing blue or a onesie with a truck on it! Ridiculous that anyone cares.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.13.12, 09:53 AM Flag ]I bought yellow green and white with cartoon animals on the onsies. My friend also tie dyed a bunch and sewed some cute embroidery flowers on blue ones.
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 09:55 AM Flag-
I agree - my dd was the first and she was cute in blue and someone criticized how I had her dressed and thought it was a boy - there were flowers on the blue shirt but this woman just felt she had to give her input. In the boy first scenario I think that is fine to have a girl in blue - a boy in pink when the girl is first is a tough pill to swallow. if there si some pink onthe socks I htin it is fine but a pink t-shirt on a boy looks funny
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 10:11 AM Flagbut why? why is it socially acceptable for a child to wear stripes and plaid together but not for a boy to wear pink?
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 10:22 AM Flagbc on a baby, clothing is actually the only thing that distinguishes a boy from a girl. pink on a toddler or older boy is cute, but pink on an infant is pretty much saying "this infant is a girl".
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 10:27 AM Flagnp: provided the stripes and plaid are of complimentary or like shades. No one is advocating stripes and plaid of any old color put together. In terms of a boy wearing pink, I think it's fine for older boys, ages 12 months and above in the form of a button up shirt or polo depending upon their own physical coloring. The problem with baby boys is that they will be mistaken for a girl because that has become socially accepted as denoting femininity when applied to a baby.
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 10:29 AM Flag
People don't know their fashion history. Up until the 1950s, pink was actually considered a boy's color because it was felt to be a watered down babyish version of red! Blues were considered for girls because they were supposed to be calming and settled. No matter the gender babies always wore white up until age 2.
[ Reply | More ]03.13.12, 10:22 AM Flag-
[+] NYC private schools: Which K through 8 or 12 schools DO NOT have uniforms? Just found... 23 replies
- I don't think the high school does. The middle school kids, as of a few years ago, wore izod-type shirts, any colors except red and black....
- you can wear red or black now - apparently there is less concern with gang identification then there was in the...
Talk : : March 07, 2012
NYC private schools: Which K through 8 or 12 schools DO NOT have uniforms? Just found out today that neither Dalton nor HM has a uniform. I kind of understand Dalton not requiring one, but I was shocked by HM.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.07.12, 02:43 PM Flag ]HM, Trinity, Dalton stop wearing uniforms after 4th grade. Most of the schools do have a dress code when the uniform goes away. I think only the s/s schools keep their uniforms.
[ Reply | More ]03.07.12, 03:00 PM FlagIt's easier to list the schools that DO have uniforms - almost all of the single sex schools (Collegiate is dress code, no uniform), all of the Catholic schools, Cathedral (K-8) and Trinity (K-4, dress code 5-12). The rest of the schools are non-uniform schools.
[ Reply | More ]03.07.12, 03:17 PM Flag-
Really??? Are they the only public that has a uniform? What does it look like?
[ Reply | More ]03.07.12, 07:25 PM FlagThey look like they work at Best Buy, You can pick any color from the LL Bean Catalog - as long as it has one of the two approved NEST logos - this is the worst of school uniforms, it is more or a less a dress code that forces you to use one vendor, but there is no uniformity at all. I personally would like to see it go away and plan on filing an exemption form.
[ Reply | More ]03.08.12, 08:06 AM FlagNYC made uniforms optional on a school by school basis - Chancellors Regs A-665 spells out how a school goes about adopting uniforms, informing parents of their right to opt-out and limitation of punishments for failure to comply for those poor kids whose parents do not know they have a right to opt-out.
[ Reply | More ]03.08.12, 08:15 AM Flag
Dalton, HM, Riverdale, ECFS, CGPS do not have uniforms at any grade. Some have a mild dress code (eg Riverdale) and others have nothing except a general "neat and clean" (Eg Dalton). OF the SS schools, the girls schools have more obvious "uniforms" all the way through than the boys schools.
[ Reply | More ]03.08.12, 10:13 AM FlagVery few of the schools we applied to have uniforms. Most have dress codes.
[ Reply | More ]03.08.12, 12:56 PM Flag
[+] I don't get red shirting. I want my child to be ahead but ahead as in she will be in... 10 replies
- It is a viscous cycle because if they are the youngest with red shirted kids in their they will get lapped and it is hard for them. No one wants their dc's (especially their db's) to be the youngest. I still do know why it is allowed...
Talk : : March 05, 2012
I don't get red shirting. I want my child to be ahead but ahead as in she will be in kindergarden instead of just preschool when she is five.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.05.12, 06:50 PM Flag ]I get it if you have a child in the last month of the cut-off.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:55 PM FlagLived in CT for a few years, my ds is a March birthday-he was the youngest boy in K. Many hold back for K, and then repeat 9th grade so they are bigger for sports. You end up with 19+ year old senior in high school, seems crazy.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:56 PM FlagIt is a viscous cycle because if they are the youngest with red shirted kids in their they will get lapped and it is hard for them. No one wants their dc's (especially their db's) to be the youngest. I still do know why it is allowed except in extreme circumstances.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:57 PM FlagIm in massachusetts and parents intentionally send their children to private school so that they can start their kid in kindergarden at age 4 a full year before they would be allowed in public and then after 2nd grade they transfer to public and their child is a grade ahead.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:04 PM FlagThings are so different from when I was young, parents wanted you to skip and the public schools knew this would save money, I skipped K because I was a January child, then skipped 3rd, next 2 yr SP for JHS and finally graduated early from HS. I was 15 1/2 when I was done with public school. Took time to work and then went to college...
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:17 PM Flag
[+] Just watched 60 minutes segment on red shirting. Woa nelly. How does everyone feel ... 19 replies
- Did not see it but in dd's class the red shirted kids do appear to have the advantage so far. Granted it is only 2nd grade but for the older dc's academics seem...
- I saw this, too. The woman in Atlanta seemed like a striver. The other woman who decided not to red shirt her son even though everyone was telling her to do so (simply bc he was young, not bc he had academic or...
Talk : : March 05, 2012
Just watched 60 minutes segment on red shirting. Woa nelly. How does everyone feel about this?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.05.12, 06:20 PM Flag ]-
The women were psychopaths. I get that they're trying to do what's best for their kids - but it was so pathetic. I think you should hold a kid back in K or 1st if they are behind socially or very behind academically. Preemptive holding back so they can be a 'leader' or better at sports is pretty laughable. Leadership is an innate trait - not something created by being the biggest or oldest.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:30 PM FlagI agree with you. I think leaders are born not made. And I held my ds back. But certainly not to create a personality trait that he may or may not have had. That mom was weird.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:32 PM FlagDid not see it but in dd's class the red shirted kids do appear to have the advantage so far. Granted it is only 2nd grade but for the older dc's academics seem easier, huge advantage in sports and they seem to be navigating the social world with ease. My dc is the youngest in her grade (we followed the rules). Please remind me again why this is a good thing. tia!
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:51 PM FlagI was always youngest in the class/ top of the class. Skipped a grade ultimately (after parents resisting and me running out of classes in HS). I realize that I'm not the norm - but being ahead academically is not the greatest experience. I barely did any work in school - zoned out 1/2 the time - and always got top grades. All I learned in school was how to put forth the least amount of effort to get results. Actually a great lesson - but I can't imagine how horrible it would have been if I'd been a year behind.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 06:56 PM Flag-
What's a gate program? I went to great schools - amazing in retrospect. They yanked 6 of us from regular class in 4th grade. It was called something else though. They were careful to make sure we were part of the larger class for art, gym, music, etc. It was also mixed-age. HS is where I ran out of classes because we tested into classes Freshman year.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:18 PM Flag-
Ditto here. All of it, except in maybe a couple of good classes in high school. Now my dc is the youngest and I would not dream of redshirting, for this reason. Dc is tops at some things, not 100%, and extremely athletic - but not the Queen Bee and not bored.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:22 PM FlagOR: I had amazing classes in HS - don't get me wrong - went to great schools and really value my education in retrospect. My brother (also young and also very ADD) struggled throughout. His K teacher wanted him evaluated and my mom switched schools. He struggled and ended up needing medication in HS - went from Ds to As. My mom regrets not holding him back. I don't think there's anything wrong w/ holding a child back - especially in the younger years - if there's a reason. Not solely on birthday and because you think it gives them a better chance of being a leader or the QB of the football team!! My brother is brilliant and very successful BTW...
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:34 PM Flag
I saw this, too. The woman in Atlanta seemed like a striver. The other woman who decided not to red shirt her son even though everyone was telling her to do so (simply bc he was young, not bc he had academic or behavioral issues) seemed like the only sane one. BUT interestingly enough, my dh, who watched it w/me, said that there was a family that he knew growing up (1970s) that red-shirted all their kids and they dominated in sports -- one even went on to play ML baseball with the Phillies.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 07:46 PM Flag
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[+] Red-shirting question (yes, another): Does anyone have any experience with red-shirti... 21 replies
- RED SHIRT all the way...
- i don't think they are red shirting in china-you have to raise your kids for the global economy-and if the last few years have shown anything-our future is not as bright as it used to be. toughen up...
Talk : : March 05, 2012
Red-shirting question (yes, another): Does anyone have any experience with red-shirting their son so that he repeats pre-K -- he'll do one year at his preschool, and then a pre-K year at his ongoing before moving on to K? Is this the best time to do it? And a follow-up: What are the possible drawbacks for having a DC repeat a pre-K year, especially if he's been told by teachers and admin that he's the "smartest" in the class (his original class)? He's the youngest in the class, but is ahead of the rest of the class as far as reading, spelling, etc. Even the teachers seem torn about whether we should move him ahead with everyone else or keep him back so that he's not by far the youngest. This ambivalence is killing me -- I wish someone would just tell us what to do!
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.05.12, 12:13 PM Flag ]-
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Why are you considering red-shirting him? Is he behind socially? Just because he is chronologically young does not mean he needs to be held back, especially if he is as academically advanced as you say. I would not red-shirt just for the sake of red-shirting. But to be honest, I don't think it's going to make or break things for him either way.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 12:19 PM FlagDid we really need to know in 3 separate sentences that your DC is smart?
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 12:21 PM Flagmost kids are sponges-and smart and capable of learning. so what is the point? I would be alarmed if he wasn't capable and had a REAL problem.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 12:23 PM FlagOP: I was repeating what his teachers had told me -- that relatively-speaking, he is the smartest in his class. "Most" kids are not smart. It's not like Lake Woebegon, where all the kids are above average. Why won't people admit that some kids are smart and some kids are dumb, and the vast majority are in between?
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 01:01 PM Flag
btdt- my dc repeated prek..was the best thing we could have done, good for sports, good for school, good for maturity, good for friends, good for confidence... no down side.. do a few extra after school activities.. no one I know who held their kid back regrets it.. the only regrets I hear are about people who sent their kid ahead too young... RED SHIRT all the way
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 12:24 PM FlagWhy on earth would you hold back a child who is ahead of his current class--just so he can become a complete outlier who is bored out of his mind with the curriculum? And probably becoming a behavioral problem due to boredom and frustration? Nobody does this in public school, and they all survive and do fine. Just send him to K, for heaven's sake.
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 12:52 PM Flag
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[+] Sorry moms, but im pretty sure neither ivies nor any colleges will care what age your... 22 replies
- how old would a k have to be to become a 20 yo freshman? like 7/8? thats not red shirting, lady....
Talk : : March 04, 2012
Sorry moms, but im pretty sure neither ivies nor any colleges will care what age your dc was when he or she started kindergarten. PUHLEASE stop this nonsense.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.04.12, 05:44 PM Flag ]They will care that your child may be a stronger student if redshirted.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 05:50 PM Flag-
watching the 60 minutes segment now. most of these people are totally nuts. i have an october bday kid and plan to send her to NYC public K per their timetable (i.e. she will be 4 for the first month of school). she is smart and will be fine. there were fall and even december bday kids in my k-12 class growing up and it was never an issue.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 06:18 PM FlagThey won't care. Harvard asked my relative's dc to redshirt -- offered a spot off the waitlist but for the following year and said dc could have an interesting gap year. Dc turned them down, but obviously it's something colleges do, and it has nothing to do with applicant's age.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 06:24 PM FlagI don't think the effect is so strong you would be likely to notice while applying for college applications, but statistically the older children in a class are stronger students than the younger kids. That doesn't mean a younger kid can't be a strong student, but age is one significant factor in determining academic success. It's been written up a lot in academic journals. Personally, I wouldn't let this affect my decision about when my kids are ready to start school. But to each her own!
[ Reply | More ]03.05.12, 05:04 AM Flag
[+] 92nd Street Y question: Does the school celebrate holidays like Halloween, Thanksgivi... 16 replies
- a kid shows up wearing green on St Patrick's Day are they sent home? What if that child has worn that shirt on five other occasions and it's her favorite?...
- do not discuss christian holidays like xmas or easter. no kids are sent home for wearing green on st. patricks day or red on valentines day. they do discuss mothers and fathers and caregivers and grandparents like any other normal school....
Talk : : March 04, 2012
92nd Street Y question: Does the school celebrate holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentines Day - in a fun pre school kind of way... Or is it just "Jewish" holidays. Just curious, not something I thought about until recently. Thanks!
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.04.12, 08:11 AM Flag ]it does not allow valentines cards nor the wearing of green on st patricks day . in addition neither mothers day nor fathers day are acknowlwdged so as not to hurt children form single parent families.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:15 AM FlagThat's understandable...but what about Halloween? Do the kids dress up, do they pass out candy? Things like that. And what about Thanksgiving? Do they acknowledge and does it become a learning opportunity?
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:17 AM Flagno halloween but purim is ok; no thanksgiving because it is not an accurate depiction of the exploitation of native americans
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:25 AM FlagLOL - come on! Are there NO parents on? Or nobody that has a real answer to this question? I'm seriously curious....
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:31 AM Flagdon't listen to this nonsense. this poster is not a Y parent. they do in fact celebrate thanksgiving and some rooms do a whole unit on it. valentines day, st. patricks day, etc are not celebrated. halloween is not celebrated in any jewish school as it is a pagan holiday. kids do not wear costumes to school on purim either. mostly the big jewish holidays but they talk about some of the lesser ones too. they do not discuss christian holidays like xmas or easter. no kids are sent home for wearing green on st. patricks day or red on valentines day. they do discuss mothers and fathers and caregivers and grandparents like any other normal school.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:06 PM Flag
If a kid shows up wearing green on St Patrick's Day are they sent home? What if that child has worn that shirt on five other occasions and it's her favorite?
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 01:37 PM Flag
I am a Y parent and the above poster is wrong about Mother's day-- the kids make gifts for that holiday in every classroom.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 02:44 PM FlagThey only celebrate Jewish holidays. They may discuss other holidays in passing - talk about Halloween costumes or Thanksgiving plans, but they're not a part of the curriculum like the Jewish holidays are.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 03:15 PM Flagit is a jewish center and it runs a jewish school. it is what it is. if you are looking for a place that celebrates all holidays, look elsewhere. (btw, most "church" located preschools are NOT this way)
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 03:37 PM Flagthey do not hit you over the head with jewish holidays and there are plenty of non-jewish families that are comfortable. many who go on to the jewish day schools, think they do not do enough. they talk about thanksgiving and every room my DC have been in have celebrated it. holidays like halloween and valentines day are acknowledged but not celebrated.
[ Reply | More ]03.04.12, 08:10 PM Flag
[+] Spin off: Good pirate jokes... go. (Mine to follow.) 13 replies
- down on us." The Pirate Captain looks through his telescope, sees the ship and tells the sailor to go to his cabin and bring him his red shirt. "Red shirt?" the sailor asks. "Aye, that way if I'm wounded in battle, none of the men will notice me blood and be afeered." As the sailor returns with the shirt he notices nine more war ships descending on them. "Cap'n thar isn't one ship coming but ten."...
Talk : : February 28, 2012
Spin off: Good pirate jokes... go. (Mine to follow.)
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.28.12, 08:09 AM Flag ]A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel attached to the front of his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 08:09 AM Flag-
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A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What happened to you?" The pirate says, "What do you mean?" The bartender says, "Last time I saw you, you had two hands, now you have a hook." The pirate answers, "Oh, we had a battle out at sea, and some scoundrel lopped me hand off, but the surgeon fixed me up real good with this hook." The bartender says, "Well, what about that eye patch?" "Oh," says the pirate, "I was out at sea and I looked up and some scurvy birds shat in me eye!" The bartender says, "So? You couldn't have lost an eye from some bird crap!" "Well," answered the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 08:53 AM FlagJust heard this (at a wake): Sailor runs to Captain, "Cap'n, thar's a 12 gun British Man o' War just rounded the point and bearing down on us." The Pirate Captain looks through his telescope, sees the ship and tells the sailor to go to his cabin and bring him his red shirt. "Red shirt?" the sailor asks. "Aye, that way if I'm wounded in battle, none of the men will notice me blood and be afeered." As the sailor returns with the shirt he notices nine more war ships descending on them. "Cap'n thar isn't one ship coming but ten." The Captain raises his looking glass again and sees the fleet coming. "Go to me cabin boy and fetch me brown pants, too."
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 09:09 AM Flag-
[+] Spinoff: Who does UB hate more Gwyneth or J.Lo? 22 replies
- believes that she is down to earth and in touch with the "common-man". She is just so delusional! Seriously, Gwyneth, a shirt that costs $150 is not a "deal"...
- What? Plenty of actresses have kids. Angelina has 6. Gwyn is always off doing various promotions and red carpets and ads, it's not like she's not trying to restart a movie career. She promotes salad dressing in Europe...
Talk : : February 27, 2012
Spinoff: Who does UB hate more Gwyneth or J.Lo?
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.27.12, 08:09 AM Flag ]the reason I dislike gwyneth more is because with J.Lo, she knows she is a diva and acts like it. Gwyneth is a diva but believes that she is down to earth and in touch with the "common-man". She is just so delusional! Seriously, Gwyneth, a shirt that costs $150 is not a "deal"
[ Reply | More ]02.27.12, 08:18 AM FlagGwyn, bc JLo made it on her own, with steep odds against her. Gwyneth is from the Hollywood school of nepotism (see also, Kate Hudson, Jake Gyllanhaal), got breaks from having family in the business and keeps getting shoved at an unwilling public. Although truthfully her career has cooled significantly, I haven't seen her in a movie in maybe a decade. JLo is hot again bc of AI.
[ Reply | More ]02.27.12, 08:24 AM FlagGwyn is raising her kids. She'll come back and the public will take her.
[ Reply | More ]02.27.12, 08:26 AM FlagWhat? Plenty of actresses have kids. Angelina has 6. Gwyn is always off doing various promotions and red carpets and ads, it's not like she's not trying to restart a movie career. She promotes salad dressing in Europe and shows up for hotel openings in Dubai. She just doesn't get cast in movies bc audiences stay away.
[ Reply | More ]02.27.12, 08:29 AM Flag
oh, come on! JLo had everything paid for by her parents. Sure, she didn't have the connections like Gwyneth, but let's not pretend that Jlo is from some underprivileged background. She had her school paid for and her parents paid for her to pursue her dreams once she decided to become a dancer/singer.
[ Reply | More ]02.27.12, 08:26 AM Flag
[+] TOUGH LOVE TIME: Women of the world, stop being so stupid! Stop setting yourselves up... 20 replies
- factor didn't show itself until after she was born. I got out with the shirt on my back, still haven't recovered financially....
- tumor because people don't change that much. I'm willing to bet there were red flags you ignored because you wanted to be married, or you thought he would change...
- And he never ever showed a clue of being a jerk. No red flags? I don't believe you....
Talk : : February 25, 2012
TOUGH LOVE TIME: Women of the world, stop being so stupid! Stop setting yourselves up for failure & heartbreak by making kids with losers, marrying jerks, raising spoiled little brats, etc etc. We could be running the f*cking world, but instead I see post after post by women wondering what to do now that they've spent a lifetime making really stupid decisions that are coming back to haunt them. We are better than this! Knock it off!
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.25.12, 11:36 AM Flag ]And I guess your life is perfect and you never make mistakes.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:38 AM FlagNo, but I've never gotten knocked up by an idiot or married an abusive jerk or raised a little selfish brat who ran up an $8k CC bill. I am so sick of women just blindly letting their husbands and sons walk all over them and actin like they had no say in the matter.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:41 AM FlagI did marry an abusive jerk, you think I did that knowing he was an abusive jerk? We make mistakes in life.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:44 AM FlagYou mean in alllllll the months you dated him you isn't have a CLUE? He was 100% sweet and wonderful and is now a totally diff person? Then he must have a brain tumor because people don't change that much. I'm willing to bet there were red flags you ignored because you wanted to be married, or you thought he would change, etc.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:46 AM FlagActually, what do you know about sociopaths? Yes, they are 100% wonderful sweet kind and supportive that is how they snag their prey. "now" is irrelevant as I left.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:49 AM Flag-
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And he never ever showed a clue of being a jerk. No red flags? I don't believe you.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 11:56 AM FlagI am not here to convince you of anything. My life is more wonderful and filled with love today than I could ever have possibly imagined, I did that. Enjoy life in that small bitter box of yours. Clearly you have your own life issues to sort out if you expend this much energy lecturing people on an anonymous board. Have a lovely day.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 12:00 PM Flag
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[+] I find it absolutely bizarre and totally NYC to have a April birthday baby to be held... 31 replies
- my dc was july and we red shirted, was best thing for child, in TT HS and doing well. Was very shy at 4 and not ready to go to interviews, still...stress and social issues. Every person I have ever spoken to has been happy that they red shirted. Many I know are sad they didnt...
Talk : : February 23, 2012
I find it absolutely bizarre and totally NYC to have a April birthday baby to be held back a year for K. I moved out of the city before my oldest went to K. He will only be 7 when he starts 2nd grade in the fall. I did my research regarding red-shirting him and found that any advantage disappears by 3rd grade and often leads to behavioral issues because the child is board. By the way, my ds is doing 3rd grade math and reads at an appropriate level for his grade. What's with NYC?
31 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.23.12, 01:16 PM Flag ]ITA. I think parents are so obsessed with sending their DCs to a TT school that they hold the kid back a year in hopes that he/she will get in after getting shut out the first year. It's ridiculous.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:18 PM Flag-
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my dc was july and we red shirted, was best thing for child, in TT HS and doing well. Was very shy at 4 and not ready to go to interviews, still shy at 5 not ready for K, was not bored or "board" at pre-k repeat. DC was better at handling school stress and social issues. Every person I have ever spoken to has been happy that they red shirted. Many I know are sad they didnt...
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:21 PM Flagyour child should be doing better and f course you are happy b/c you set him up to be the oldest and best. Any kid that is 12 months older than another BETTER do good. You are selfish and do nto care about fairness.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:25 PM FlagMy mother regrets not red-shirting my older brother. She thinks he would have done better with sports. I told her considering that as a girl and two years younger that I was a faster runner and swimmer, a year was not going to give him an athletic gene.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:27 PM Flag
Yes, I was wondering about the woman who posted...what if the child doesn't get in the following year...hold him/her back again. Why not send the child to public for K? Tutor the child on the side, if you don't think the school is good enough. Then at least she won't end up with a 9 yr old child in K.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:22 PM FlagYou understand this is only the private schools. In NYC public you start K the year you turn 5. So, if your DC has a fall birthday they are only 4 when they start K. My DC, who was born in December, was 7 when she stared 3rd Grade last fall and is doing fine.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:24 PM FlagI do understand it is only NYC privates, which makes it all the more bizarre to me. Usually, according to studies, successful people are often more intelligent (not 100% but generally true), so all these wealthy TT private students should have pretty high IQs...now parents (or schools) are holding these children back...WHY?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:30 PM FlagBecause the parents want little billy to be the alpha. I know one woman loved to brag about how her DC was so much more advanced than the rest of his K class and how it wasn't challenging enough for him. She usually failed to mention that he was 6 when he started K, however
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:38 PM FlagI do agree with this. I might be wrong in thinking this, but I think a child is either a leader, joiner, follower or loner regardless if they are old, young or average in their grade. I can tell you with certainty that my 3yr dd will be a leader and my 4 yr ds will be a follower. I might be wrong, but I really doesn't think it matters what year I send them to school
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:45 PM Flag
Circumstances differ among children and among schools. What works for your child might not be the best thing for another family.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:25 PM FlagClearly, but it's not just one family...it's a trend among private schools in NYC.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:31 PM FlagThank you! Finally some rational thinking. We have an April DS and were told by 6 schools to apply next year. This is prior to the child visit. We had a solid application package, ERBs, diverse, etc. It couldn't have been better.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:34 PM Flag
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Wow! Be nice. I'm just curious. All these kids are going to end up in college together. I guess I believe in the research out of Harvard, Brown, and Stanford that says any advantage in holding back a child disappears by 3rd...and they studies confidence and other social factors. I guess I just wouldn't let a private tt push me into making that kind of decision for my child.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:39 PM Flag
There are too many boys this year. Many April let alone May and JUne boys were shut out this year. I don't think they are red-shirting. I think DOAs are just planning for teh following year. Also, every child is different. Please think more deeply about things. You appear superficial in your statement
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:36 PM FlagAnd I was 7 in 3rd Grade at a TT SS school. Mind your own business different kids have different maturity levels. And by the way it is BORED not BOARD.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:54 PM Flag
[+] DD is in Kindergarten at Spence. We like the school, but dd has two girls in her cla... 157 replies
- This is why the schools shouldn't red shirt, imo. -np...
- Depends. What do they do if a kid's got socially aggressive tendencies but is also immature or otherwise not prepared for K. I'll bet a lot of red shirted bully girls are also connected and/or wealthy....
Talk : : February 22, 2012
DD is in Kindergarten at Spence. We like the school, but dd has two girls in her class that have been aggressively bullying her and one other girl. They make mean, nasty remarks that really hurt outside the classroom and one girl pushed my dd to the ground so hard she got a deep bruise. Gym teacher says it was an accident, kids just being kids. According to dd, head teacher has seen multiple episodes of abuse but when I called her she said its nothing and dd was simply overreacting. I know K is too young for "mean girls", but wwyd?
157 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.22.12, 05:19 PM Flag ]If the teacher who witnessed it says that it was clearly an accident, and the teachers say that nothing is going on- as much as I say to listen to your daughter, your daughter is 5 and 5 year olds exaggerate things in their heads. It's a tough call.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:21 PM FlagI would talk to the Lower School Head. I know the LS head at dd's school (another ss) would want to hear if any of the girls were having problems like this.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:21 PM Flag^^She'd want to hear what was going on even if it were true that dd was overreacting.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:23 PM Flag-
What do you mean? The LS head wants to make sure every kid is feeling secure at school and that doesn't matter if the bullying is real or perceived. She'd want to get to the root of what is wrong. I know this because my dd was afraid of a girl in K for what turned out to be a silly reason, only it wasn't silly to her at the time. I was happy with the way the school handled it for all parties involved. No one got in trouble, but tensions were smoothed over. FWIW my dd is now friends with the "bully."
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 05:36 AM Flag
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DD in 2nd grade and there was a lot of bullying in her class last year. A lot of moms felt teachers and admin simply didn't want to rock the boat or acknowledge the problem. Thankfully her 2nd grade class is much better now.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:23 PM FlagOR - We did talk to LS head extensively but she said without proof that something malevolent was happening, she couldn't do anything. Also seemed to imply "mean girl" syndrome mainly happens in middle school, so perhaps girls were exaggerating (I don't agree here).
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:25 PM FlagBS Mean girls can start at preschool. In my DS's PS class one group of girls is so mean to this new group of 4 girls who were added to the class from another class. They two ringleaders basically taunt the other girls who all are really sweet and nothing is being done. moms of mean girls in denial and oblivious.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:28 PM Flag-
PreK in a preschool. So many parents know except of course for the moms of the mean girls. They are really nasty while a lot of kids "test" out language, most of their parents, or nannies or whatever check this behavior, these girls' adults don't . Just ignore it.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:37 PM Flag
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isn't it true they've brought in outside psychological teams to deal with what is becoming a pervasive problem in the spence lower school
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:55 PM Flag-
nope. as one of the few schools with its own LS campus, a social/emotional curriculum (responsive classroom) and gentle ramp in work load, do you really think Spence would have a "pervasive" mean girl problem.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:01 PM FlagNot sure it's pervasive, but there is a mean girl issue there. DF's dd was taunted last year by a dd of very wealthy family. Stunning how poorly the issues were handled by the school.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:26 PM FlagYou realize that, aside from the separate LS facility, you've just described every SS girls school in NYC, at least as they describe themselves on paper? And please don't try to tell us Spence is the only school that really puts it into practice. My point isn't that S is any worse than any other school, but it's not any better in this regard either. Bullying can become a pervasive problem in any school; Spence is not immune.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 08:10 PM FlagYes, S may not be immune but like you point out, it's not likely worse than another other SS school in NYC despite the rich "mean girl" label it gets stuck with. My sweet and sensitive DDs are on the shy side and they have not experienced "pervasive" bullying. I do think the separate LS facility is a significant factor allowing the school to tailor the environment to be kinder and gentler for younger girls.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 06:47 AM Flag
ALL the girls schools claim to have a responsive classroom and social/emotional curriculum.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 05:38 AM FlagThey take agressive girls. So it makes sense when you have a class of 18 and the few shy grls they take are their targets.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 02:26 PM Flag^^So some are accepted to be a target...and you pay 40K for this. ROTFLMAO. my guess is your kid is a bully.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 02:31 PM Flaglol i'm not op. DD is at another ss but you can easily see when touring, and meeting these girls in classes or the park they all have similar personalities. I have spoken to spence parents who tell me the only flaw is the bullying. Everything else is perfect. Like was said above, when you have all these outspoken girls in one class with a few shy kids, expect issues.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 06:50 PM Flag
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We have a 3rd grader and have a combined HH income of $600,000 pa. Out of the 45 of so families in her grade, we are easily in the bottom 5-7 in terms of wealth. About 50% of the class live in $5+m houses and 2/3rd have places in the hamptons for weekends and the summer. Definitely a divide between us and the mostly extremely rich parents. They are superficially nice but we never get invited to dinner parties, social events, etc. outside of birthdays and school events. A friend of dd's was over at our apt. last week and said "this is the smallest apartment I have EVER seen". Needless to say, dd was not happy to hear that.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:31 PM FlagDo you regret choosing this setting? This will be us and we have far less than you.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:51 PM FlagOR - actually, yes. dd was accepted by Brearley but we were frightened off by the "aggressive, pressurized culture". However, B is much more low-key, diverse (racially and socio-economically), and lower school is warm/nurturing according to friends there. Should have chosen B.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:02 PM FlagNP: don't you read the newspaper? B has just shown that they don't take action regarding violent behavior. Count your blessings that dd doesn't have brain damage.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:06 PM Flag-
No, unfortunately, it is true. And if you don't believe a B mom, read the article a little more closely.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 05:23 PM FlagNo, unfortunately, the article is not reliable. It reads like a gossip rag, filled with buzz words about B's eliteness and unattributed quotes. It's ironic because one of the article's themes is accountablity and yet the editors are fine with repeatedly quoting people anonymously so long as they are speaking against B. So much for accountability.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 02:07 PM FlagYou can argue all you like, and so can I. Clearly you have an interest in this, and so do I. My interest is as a B middle school mom, who would like to see B live up to its mission. Most middle school moms I know feel the same way. Maybe you are a lower school mom who wants to believe that B does no wrong. Good luck to you.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 02:29 PM FlagI'm not a B mom. Just not someone who is willing to take what the NYT spoon feeds. Their editorial standards are shot. Remember Jayson Blair? Look him up.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 06:14 PM FlagLook up Proskauer Rose. For the record, I've heard plenty of other B moms say what was left unattributed in the article, so I don't believe that Jenny Anderson pulled a Jayson Blair. But you of course are free to believe what you like. I just wonder why if you are not a B mom you care so much.
[ Reply | More ]02.26.12, 06:42 AM FlagI don't have any additional info outside the article bc like I said, I'm not a B mom. I do believe that Jenny Anderson's article has an agenda, which the NYT and its lax editorial standards were willing to support. The lack of editorial standards is what allowed someone like Blair to flourish there while he did. And for the record, I have no problem with a school hiring a distinguished law firm to conduct an internal investigation when a child is severely injured on its premises. Sounds reasonable to me.
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 07:20 PM Flag
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We have a 3rd grader too and make less than you. I have to remind myself sometimes but I do feel that she is every bit as privileged to have the exact same first-rate education as the upper half of the class and that the rest is inconsequential. This is the message you need to give your daughter. I volunteer at the school but see it more as a parenting function than as a social opportunity. I have made friends, but my focus is on supporting her school experience rather than scoring invites.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:15 PM Flag+1. i don't know how many dinner parties and social events you think are going on but it is probably a lot less than you think. our dd is thriving and we have nothing but positive experiences. btw, my dd could care less about the size of other people's apartments and summer houses and this is the message you need to send to your dd: if you are happy with your lot in life, it doesn't matter that someone else has more or different than you. there will always be someone with more money, bigger homes, etc. and you are setting yourself and your dcs up for a miserable life if that is your focus.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 06:10 AM Flagnp: While I think that attitude is helpful, as the parent of an older child, I think it's important to be sensitive to how wealth factors in to "fitting in." What sounds to us like spoiled girl complaints ("we don't have a Hamptons house, boo hoo") are issues thrown in their faces every day, especially when they become more socially independent. I feel the same way you do about being happy with your lot in life, but at the same time, I know that we as parents only have so much influence as our children get older.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 07:08 AM Flagno one said being a parent is easy. but as a child of a very affluent suburban public school education, these issues exist EVERYWHERE and if you don't teach your dc how to deal with it, you are not doing your job.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:03 AM FlagYou can teach all you want. Sometimes it doesn't stick, even with individual children within the same family. I didn't grow up having to be the poor kid in a rich school, so a little understanding when it does happen, because it will, instead of scoffing of lamenting your poor parenting skills, goes a long way with a teenager. That's all I'm saying.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 09:54 AM Flagnobody is scoffing but you! this "poor me" mentality is exactly why our whole economy and country is heading down the tubes. pull yourself and your dcs up by your own bootstraps people. you hold the key to your own happy life.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 11:03 AM FlagI wasn't talking about you specifically. I'm talking about anyone placing a middle-class girl in a UES fancy-schmancy uniform private school that appealed to mom and dad (at least in part because of the brand name) and then scoffing at her for expressing frustrations with the very real issues of wealth and class she will face every single day because you put her there.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 11:31 AM Flag^^Also, I'm not talking about giving in a buying things your can't afford for your poor widdle sweetie. I'm talking about showing some compassion for a situation she didn't ask to be put in, about which you have no experience.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 12:15 PM Flagshe didn't ask to be born either -- i put her on this earth. life is hard. feelings get hurt. fairness/niceness does not always reign. it will happen whether at $$$ private or inner city public. the key is to give your dd a good grounded reality in the fact that they have a roof over their head, clothes on their back, food on their table, a stable and loving family and an amazing education. the rest is only as important as they make it. signed, public school graduate in a $$$ town where this was just as much an issue as at any TT private
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 07:06 PM Flag
Maybe posters need to suggest dc volunteer tutor kids over the summer from central Harlem, South Bronx, Central Brooklyn. Maybe then, on these poor underprivileged kids home turf, dc will see how lucky she is. Teacher dc perspective. Not keeping up with the Joneses because you never will. You must be comfortable with the disparity, and while acknowledging that it presents younger kids/teens etc with social conformist pressure, not give into it at the same time/not sympathize. Reject it, frankly. Be strong in your values of who you are or else forget it, why are you there? Why suffer like that?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 03:27 PM Flag*I'm* not there. That was my point. I can and do reject it but I'm 42 years old, not 13. It's different when they get older, that's all.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 03:53 PM FlagWhat's your point? that when they get 'older' as a parent one should (a) remove them from the school, cause they're too poor to keep up or (b) shouldn't model rejecting the values of extreme materialism as important signifiers of your value as a human being, or (c) something else? like commisserate 'woe is me' I too wish we had all that money blame us for not? Or (d) you fill in the blank. What should one do, what's your point that it's 'different'?
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 02:35 PM Flag
np. This is so, so true. Our dd is in ms at another "tt", we're receiving significant amounts of FA, and this has become a larger issue for dd than it ever was in ls. We do our best to keep things in perspective, and dd is a fairly sensible kid, but even so... It's not easy for her.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:19 AM Flag
How can you be in the bottom 5- 7 families at $600,000 if the school offers FA?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 07:02 AM Flaggood point. if 20% or ~ 10/50 are on FA, you're not in the bottom 5-7. You have a framing problem -- you're focusing on the few ultra wealthy who aren't inviting you into the imagined rather and ignoring the greater number of families on your side of the "divide" who just do their own thing and don't turn your head.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 07:56 AM Flagthe 20% stat of FA is probably for the whole school and much more FA is given for upper school and middle, so there are probably at best 7/50 on FA in lower school and many of these may be siblings of older girls whose families are getting minimal FA because of increased burden of having 2-3 girls at the school
[ Reply | More ]02.24.12, 06:41 PM Flag
Sounds more like you weren't happy to have your DD hear that. Big teachable moment. I've had this situation but in reverse (after we visited a friend's massive home). It's all about your attitude. If you're ok with your small apartment, and tell your DD it's ok to have a small apartment and that other things matter more, she'll be fine with it.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:19 AM FlagDD goes to another school where there are many hampton homes and some of the girls are board going to the same place every weekend.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 09:12 AM Flag
If you're not getting a conversation from the teacher, you can speak to the division head. At my child's school, the division head observed recess when there were complaints of bullying. Be ready to hear that your child is over-reacting though. I am cautious with the ideas I introduce to my child (boredom and bullying would be examples) because kids may use these ideas to interpret the world and to get attention from parents.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 05:43 PM Flag-
OP - not really. I'm sure this happens at all the ss schools. I like Spence but wish they would deal with this because it really does impact some of the girls like dd on the receiving end of such nasty treatment. For 40k a year in tuition, I do think we have a right to expect a little more...
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:08 PM FlagIt sounds like you're not "dealing with it" appropriately. If you "liked" Spence, you'd view the school as your partner and work it out instead of sounding so entitled to "expect a little more" for your 40K (which is not any more special than my 40K).
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 06:58 AM Flagnp. Not trying to be argumentative, but how do you suggest OP, or another parent in a similar position, "deal with it appropriately" themselves? Not sure what you mean by that. Apart from keeping in contact w/ the teacher (which it seems OP has done) and talking to dc (ditto), what else? I don't know about OP's situation, but I've seen situations at other schools where there really is a bullying issue happening but the teachers are either in denial or not stepping up as they should. Why wouldn't any parent be angry at the school in such a situation?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:47 AM Flag1) talk to LS admin and counselor (the "feelings" teacher who visits regularly) to ask them to monitor. 2) attend parent education (next week) and social functions (tonight) to engage with other parents. 3) consider whether it's exaggeration / fabrication by DD. If you have doubts about her account, set up one-on-one play dates with the "bully" types to see for yourself and diffuse. K is exactly the age when my DCs started to experiment with the truth and come home with convincing but totally phony stories. My DD has a friend who can be opinionated/pushy but adores my DD. My DD can feel smothered and exaggerates this friend's bossiness. I worked with the teacher and other family to help the girls navigate their personality differences and both grew as a result. It doesn't sound to me as if OP has given the school a chance and kvetching on UB was not constructive.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 09:49 AM Flag
You sound like a bitch. When someone plunks down 40k you do expect a little more. The op dealt with it appropriately by calling the school, taling to the teacher, administration. I don't see anything else then going personally and giving a good scream and threaten to take this to the media. I guartantee spence will be shitting bricks. The moms of those bullies are probably trustee wives, big donor but if op makes herself "seen" action will be taken about the bullies. I posted below about this possibly being a fake since I know from current parents at spence they deal with bullies very well.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 09:38 AM Flag
^^but I've heard of this sort of thing at various other private schools where those in charge ignore or blame the victim, especially when the perpetrators have parents who are more powerful than the victims parents. I would call them out on it. Your dd is watching you and learning, don't teach her what you don't want to her to learn.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:15 PM Flag
Anyone get the feeling that this is a Spence bashing post - mean girls, wealth etc.?
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:09 PM FlagOP - this is NOT Spence bashing. It could (and probably does) happen at B, C, NBS, CSH. My frustration is in the way the teachers and LS head seem to downplay such behavior and even turn a blind eye to it, letting it continue and impacting girls. Friends in middle school say MS head and teachers are much better and more vigilant in ferreting out such behavior - but lower school seems less intersted or equipped/trained for such situations.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:11 PM Flag
this is so sad to hear. I have a kid at a school pretty far off the UB radar that somehow fosters a really nice culture - parents and kids. I've never figured out how or why exactly -part of the admissions process, message from the top, but really seems to by much nicer than most. Something to think about when choosing a school.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:20 PM FlagSpence is known as the over the top mean girl/mean mom school. You should have known what you were getting in to!
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:29 PM FlagActual S mom here, no one at the school would post their personal business here, this is clearly a Spence basher. please ignore this "imposter"
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:54 PM FlagDitto. But I think this is someone who's upset/foolish/misguided to think no one at the school uses Google alerts. Everything she's written is very specific. Not appropriate to post on a public forum. Teacher then head of lower school--then head of school if problems are not resolved. Not Urban Baby.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:53 PM FlagI think she's real. We had a UB poster like that from dc's school and it was legit. I'm not sure anyone ever outed her IRL but I recognized the situation.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 07:11 AM Flag
S parent with daughters in LS. I am sorry about your distress, but could you clarify if any of this been observed by a teacher / instructor? Your DD could be exaggerating (which is totally typical at this age). Is she exhibiting any change in behavior / stress that would signal a problem? One of my DDs was uncomfortable with a bossy (not really bullying) classmate that was handled extremely well by her head teacher. Another friend's DD did experience a single incident of extreme bullying and the school handled it swiftly and appropriately. The social/emotional curriculum will become more visible in 1st grade but they are serious about it. Maybe the PIA meeting on the 9th would be a good forum to explore your concerns.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 06:55 PM FlagK is not too young for "mean girl" behavior. I know a girl who was being clearly mean at age 3. Very bossy and would enjoying putting down/one upping my daughter right in front of me. She would do this repeatedly, and basically every chance she could. She also stole away my dd's best friend, who she coveted for herself, though my dd was not possessive of the other girl and did not fight her over the friendship. The bullying girl's mother, who happens to be very socially adept, made feeble attempts to discourage meanness, but I think she was prouder of her daughter being "alpha" than bothered by this type of behavior. Anyway, I tell this story so that you can realize what your daughter is reporting to you is most probably not a figment of your dd's imagination. There may be some overreaction because she is so young and inexperienced, but that doesn't mean that she is wrong. Schools may seem to "blame the vicitim" to some extent in an attempt to not take sides and to smooth things over - push it under the rug. It takes a real commitment on the part of a school to counter the subtle (and sometime not-so-subtle) bullying that happens between girls. I don't have a specific solution for you when it comes to interfacing with the administration, but your dd needs to feel that you are solidly in her corner and believe her. You can share age-appropriate books with her on bullying (there are a number of good ones out there), and role play how she can stand up for herself in the kinds of situations she has been encountering.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:06 PM Flag- [ Removed by moderator ] [ More ]02.22.12, 07:15 PM
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- [ Removed by moderator ] [ More ]02.23.12, 06:00 PM
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NP: the real agenda has been made clear ladies! a psycho mom trying to stomp on an elementary school child. who would even try to identify a child on this board but a demento?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 06:17 AM Flag-
any adult who is scared of a 5 year old girl clearly should be WAY more concerned about her own mental state than the girl's/
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:00 AM FlagITA! I gave the mean girl in dd k class the evil eye for a week after I saw her pushing dd out of class. She had been bullying her for months before dd finally told me. She really looked intimidating even at 5 so no other parent ever said anything to her. It worked! She stopped bothering dd.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 02:20 PM Flag
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I don't agree with outing a kid but instead of ignoring your little brats problem and coming against op try just try and take your kid to a psychiatrist. Someone just posted she has been doing this since prek. Obviously there is a problem with her.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 01:01 PM FlagITA. The mothers of the kid(s) involved in this surely know about this post by now. Instead of feeling pissed off about it (which they likely do), they might want to take a good, hard look at how their girls are behaving--and put a stop to it. Whether that means better parenting techniques or therapy or whatever. Not nice to have your dirty laundry aired in public, but maybe now the kids will be supported in learning to treat others properly.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 04:31 PM Flag
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You don't see the irony of outing a Kindergartner for being "mean" on a message board?
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 10:21 AM Flag
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Agree with others that K is not too young for bullying and mean girl behavior. When my dc was in preschool, two girls (three year olds!) taunted another girl because she was short and had short hair. The teachers were on top of it, which was very positive.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:17 PM Flag-
know of a girl who experienced the same at S in K. The mean girls were ones held back the previous year due to their summer birthdays. The victim was a late summer birthday making the age difference pretty dramatic. Parents got nowhere with admin or teacher. Removed her at the end of the year. She is at another school and thriving.
[ Reply | More ]02.22.12, 07:55 PM FlagNot a Spence parent, but we did take DD out of another private school because of bullying, and some other factors. K is not too young for anti-social behavior to begin, and it's very important not to let the school ignore it. The kids take their cues from the teachers, and the teachers take their cues from the administration, and if the administration refuses to admit or address a situation, you've got problems.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 05:56 AM FlagLS head. This could happen at any school, but the Brearley scandal teaches that when it escalates, the teachers and school begin to cya rather than solve the problem. You have to do so for DD. Your DD is probably not the only victim of these mean girls.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:16 AM FlagNp- B halloween event is not relevant to op's issues. That dealt with an unfortunate series of events, not bullying. And to the contrary of what you posted, the school actually did investigate it and reported its findings to the school community.
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 02:21 PM Flag-
lol -- not B PR, and not anyone on the inside, just not someone who is willing to jump to crazy conclusions based on unsubstantiated and unattributed quotes from the NYT
[ Reply | More ]02.25.12, 06:19 PM FlagCome on, in the Brearley situation, it is crazy to me that the school would hire Proskauer Rose to do an "internal investigation" as if this were Enron. What happened to common sense?
[ Reply | More ]02.26.12, 04:46 AM FlagA child suffered severe head injuries on school grounds during a school-sanctioned event. What school wouldn't hire a serious law firm to investigate?
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 07:21 PM FlagNP: only a school whose primary interest was insulating itself against a lawsuit would hire a corporate criminal defense attorney, from a firm with a specialty in conducting internal investigations to protect corporations from prosecution. Obviously you think this is standard operating behavior, and perhaps it is, but let's call it for what it is -- CYA, as the poster above said, not a genuine investigation to discover what happened and assign responsibility.
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 08:17 PM FlagWhy can't it be both? Why assume the worst about the school?
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 09:02 PM FlagA better choice than a white-collar criminal defense attorney to conduct an investigation is .... ta-da! an investigator, as in detective, former cop, or even the police. I am not assuming anything, I am drawing conclusions from the school's statements and my knowledge. You, on the other hand, appear to assume that everything the school told the Times is true and that everything else is unreliable. Pretty strange for someone with no connection to Brearley.
[ Reply | More ]02.28.12, 09:47 PM Flag
DS has a friend at Brearley, whose parents say it is actually worse than what the NYT reported.
[ Reply | More ]02.29.12, 07:02 AM Flag
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Ultimately, this is a parenting issue and all about what families (especially moms) are doing at home. Some parents think meanness and exclusionary behavior is somehow sophisticated or precocious--almost desirable. Very hard for the schools to deal with unless they start suspending (which few of them will). Hope things settle down for your dd.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 08:22 AM Flag-
Are the girls who are bothing your dd very wealthy or has a relative on board? It could be the school has spoken with the parents and can't do anything else because of their connections? Hard to believe nothing is being done especially with a well regarded school.
[ Reply | More ]02.23.12, 12:53 PM Flag
[+] Need your best recommendation for books to help 2.3 yo with letters, numbers and colo... 5 replies
- to like to read. The Leap Frog videos are also very good for letters and numbers. One of the best things is to just point out things in casual conversation -- Mommy is wearing the red shirt and yours is yellow or counting things during the day or pointing out letters in signs, etc....
Talk : : February 17, 2012
Need your best recommendation for books to help 2.3 yo with letters, numbers and colors. GO!
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.17.12, 11:40 AM Flag ]There really is no one best book. I would get a selection from Barnes & Noble or Amazon and see what your child seems to like to read. The Leap Frog videos are also very good for letters and numbers. One of the best things is to just point out things in casual conversation -- Mommy is wearing the red shirt and yours is yellow or counting things during the day or pointing out letters in signs, etc.
[ Reply | More ]02.17.12, 11:49 AM Flag
[+] My son was never coached for the ERB, we didn't think he needed to. He is a very bri... 5 replies
Talk : : February 17, 2012
My son was never coached for the ERB, we didn't think he needed to. He is a very bright kid in my honest opinion. for the past year, my 4 year old has endured major family stress with a major surgery to his mother that has changed our lives and new brother. He also had tubes in his ears because of blockage. He spent 5 months without almost hearing. All of these factors contributed to his low score on the ERB. I think emotionally it has affected him. So the ERB score in combination with being a "summer baby" means he has been accepted in a few places as long as he is "red shirted". Emotionally for me its hard to see my son remain behind while his friends move on to kindergarten with it's new learning experiences. Also, If it were me making the choice i would feel better about it, but since I don't have school options i feel that it's forced. I do agree that holding him back could be beneficial for him, but Im not convinced. What are your experiences? opinions? also, he has been accepted to a few schools among them Leman and LREI. opinions on that would be great also. I know Leman has issues with establishment, but that aside, the facilities, teachers, curriculum seem good.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.17.12, 10:22 AM Flag ]my ds is in K at Leman and we are very happy with the school.
[ Reply | More ]02.17.12, 10:32 AM FlagCan you share a little more, heavily considering it for first grade, if they take us.
[ Reply | More ]02.17.12, 10:42 AM FlagSorry, i had to step away from the computer. As I said above, we like the school and happy with how our ds progresses. In particular, the high teacher/student ratio, focus on academics (reading, writing, count, and arithmetics), bespoke approach to children (depending on children's progress, teachers either offer more challenging material or spend time with kids requiring more help in small groups). We also like the facilities: gym, pool, the playground, art and music classes. Lastly, we are fond of the down-to-earth student and parent bodies. The school doesn't have a well-established name, but so far they've met every expectation we had. My son is a late May baby and we didn't redshirt. So far so good.
[ Reply | More ]02.17.12, 12:21 PM Flag
Summer DS here at private school and I'll be honest.. I wish I'd had the chance to redshirt him. He's struggling. He's just in a completely different place than the girls with fall birthdays. If he were 1.5 months younger he'd be in the grade below and honestly, he'd be doing a whole lot better and have more self-confidence/like school more. Instead it is a constant feeling of racing to keep up. Take the schools' advice, they are probably right that he needs the extra year.
[ Reply | More ]02.17.12, 11:14 AM Flag
[+] As a very fit dh I like to show off my body during the summer. I like to not wear shi... 44 replies
- No i wear shirts down Broadway. I'm talking the beach, or...
- np. keep your shirt on in the park, please....
- keep your shirt on at the park, definitely! what is wrong...attractive. And actually, let that serve as a red flag for you: if a girl finds you...something to my imagination. Love those tight athletic shirts, stretching over the pecs. Seeing nipples is just.too.much...
Talk : : February 16, 2012
As a very fit dh I like to show off my body during the summer. I like to not wear shirts and show off my tats and abs. Do you ladies not like this? Or am I that guy in the summer you like to see?
44 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.16.12, 11:32 AM Flag ]If I see a guy with muscles walking around shirtless, I assume he's gay.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:34 AM Flagactually I would say the same thing about a woman (that she must be gay) if she doesn't appreciate a guy's fit body.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:39 AM Flaglol. you think that if a woman doesn't want to see your body she's gay. omg, get over yourself. you are so trashy that I'm surprised anyone finds you attractive. And actually, let that serve as a red flag for you: if a girl finds you attractive, she's damaged goods, probably from the wrong side of the tracks.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 12:04 PM Flag
If you're the "showing off" type it's pretty certain your not that guy in the summer who I like to see.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:38 AM Flag-
Enjoy it now. It won't last forever. One day you'll be old. Even if you have an young body, you'll have an old face Go for it. Go daddy.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:43 AM FlagHe'll still be doing it when he's old. This type never puts the shirt back on.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:46 AM FlagHa! At least he's having fun. Yeah. He'll be 65 and checking out the young girls and the girls will be giggling about the old guy.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:51 AM FlagIt's like the guy from the scam website Cenegetics. Buff body, old face. http://www.cenegenics.com/?uid=PT1_GS1_CEN_TM_TM
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:53 AM Flag
you are *that* guy in the summer that I DON'T like to see. If it's anywhere but at a pool, it's obnoxious.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:55 AM FlagMust be at the beach or swimming pool. Anywhere else is gross, disgusting and just inappropriate. Please do not do this. Mature, sophisticated women do not like to see this type of guy walking around.
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 11:55 AM FlagDo you have one eye on the mirror as you watch yourself go by?
[ Reply | More ]02.16.12, 12:02 PM Flag
[+] My work party is a fifties theme. Can you suggest what I could wear that would imply... 16 replies
- Button down shirt, jeans, saddle shoes, pony tail, scarf around neck, bubble gum....
- capri pants, saddle shoes, bowling shirt, ponytail. thriftstore?...
- I'd go with the fonz look and a pack are Marlboro Reds rolled in my sleeve....
Talk : : February 14, 2012
[+] someone make me feel better about dc being rejected from hunter. 66 replies
- face, they do it to other girls, not adults. you know, my daughter (3) had someone (probably 4 yrs old) tell her on the preschool playground that her shirt was a boy's shirt (her brother's old shirt but unisex red polo). i wonder if she, too, was a mean girl. my daughter seemed nonplussed about it. and i heard from a parent that there are cliques in PK4, which i find...
Talk : : February 10, 2012
someone make me feel better about dc being rejected from hunter.
66 replies [ Reply | Watch | More02.10.12, 12:03 PM Flag ]We were rejected too. But the fact that you got this far means that your dc has the intellect to do whatever he or she wants to do. Not getting into Hunter won't hold dc back.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:12 PM FlagThis probably won't help, but the biggest bitch I know (a 7 year old girl) goes to Hunter. She's evil. So at least your kid won't be in the same space with her.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:18 PM FlagUnless you're another 7 year old girl, I'm really put off by your referring to a child as the biggest bitch you know. (and if you are 7, you shouldn't be using that language!)
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:21 PM Flag-
I'm not sanctimonious, but calling a 7yo the biggest bitch you know strikes me as harsh
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:36 PM FlagGive it up, lady. Some kids can be real shits. This kid fits that description. She's malicious, mean, petty and creepy. I don't excuse her because she's a child.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:40 PM FlagI know 2 girls like this. They are twins. And were like this even at age 5.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:44 PM Flag-
Awful things. Get right in your face, tell you they don't like what you are wearing, your little sister isn't cute. They told one girl she looked like a boy. I know another girl who told my dd she was inviting every girl in the class to her 6 y.o. party except her. Which she then did (minus 1 other girl as well), but the parents allowed this, and handed out invites in the school yard, so it's more their fault, I guess. It is shocking.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 01:58 PM Flaggees, louise. i guess when you say they get right in your face, they do it to other girls, not adults. you know, my daughter (3) had someone (probably 4 yrs old) tell her on the preschool playground that her shirt was a boy's shirt (her brother's old shirt but unisex red polo). i wonder if she, too, was a mean girl. my daughter seemed nonplussed about it. and i heard from a parent that there are cliques in PK4, which i find shocking.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 02:20 PM Flag
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You won't turn into someone like the Hunter mom I know who drones on and on and ON about how great the school is, how lucky she is, how sweet the kids are, how lucky she is, how warm the families are, etc. Also ENDLESS blow-by-blow accounts of the chess team's exploits, the fabulous theater productions, how lucky she is. Did I mention that this woman cannot open her MOUTH without talking about Hunter????? And, natch, richer than God, could easily afford to pay for private school, SAHM with a country house. Blecchh!
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:42 PM Flagmine got rej too. I keep saying this, we really needed this, I am a single mom and live on 9000K/yr. I can not understand what went wrong on the 2nd round except dc was sick.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:46 PM FlagI know kids at Hunter who ended up at NYU. Sorry, NYU not a great school, they accept anyone, really. I went there and did not go to Hunter.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 12:47 PM Flagearlier post by a kid in hunter says that hunter elementary kids are quite average...
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 02:21 PM FlagThink about all the brilliant kids who get rejected from Harvard (I'm one of them, come to think of it). It's not the end of the world, it's simply one path of millions they aren't taking. Getting into Hunter is great, but it's one small part of a very big picture. Just think, all the very smart kids in Queens, Brooklyn, etc. couldn't even apply, and all of them will do fine in whatever school they end up, usually a gen ed. If and when they get to Hunter in 7th grade from those gen eds, they do great!
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 03:31 PM Flagi know kids who attend hunter and they are definitely not that bright. got in through connections.
[ Reply | More ]02.10.12, 04:07 PM Flag
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