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[+] lost job about a year ago. I felt like unemployment was kind of like an extended mate... 3 replies
Talk : : April 10, 2012
lost job about a year ago. I felt like unemployment was kind of like an extended maternity leave, ds was 4 months old at the time, dd 2. Now unemployment will run out soon, working on a potentially very lucrative start up with some partners. DH says he is supportive, but that I need to get a job before unemployment ends. I haven't seen anything that will bring much in after the cost of daycare. WWYD? I'm starting to question the notion of equality of the sexes in this situation. DH makes good money, he could support the family but doesn't want to cut back. I want to work but not just to pay for daycare. Whose decision should this be?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 09:26 PM Flag ]You both need to decide. I was unemployed for a while as well and my DH became downright mean. At times it was really too much. I took care of 2 young dc without any help, and he didn't appreciate it at all, as he thinks taking care of dc is not for smart, ambitious people. I got a job offer a few weeks ago (will start in the next few day) and he did a 180 and is nice again, after almost 2 years. I don't understand this attitude, but it is what it is.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 11:33 PM Flag
[+] WTF a year and a half ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce, walked out of the hou... 25 replies
- Yeah< I didn't think I believed in divorce either, even when I was looking down the barrel of never having sex again - I don'...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
WTF a year and a half ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce, walked out of the house, took the kids to her parents, we fought over custody of the children for a year, finally I got them almost 50% of the time, after a year gave up trying to keep the family together, just started dating someone else very casually and now my ex wants to get back together - rant over.
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 08:02 PM Flag ]you started dating someone and she suddenly wants to get back together? Hmm...
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:06 PM FlagI can't tell you how annoying it is - but I know the dynamics, I am more interesting now that someone else doesn't think I suck.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:07 PM FlagI'm divorced (and I would say the divorce was 60% my idea...but we fought a lot)... anyway, yeah... so be annoyed, but maybe it's best, even for the kids' sake, to not get back together. Do you want to work it out?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:09 PM FlagI kind of feel mistreated and don't want to go through that again - I mean I did nothing really wrong the first time around, never mistreated her, no drugs, nothing like that - she just got swept up with someone else, I am still angry that she hurt our kids, I really don't want to forgive that, I think I can be happy and provide my kids a decent life at least part time.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:13 PM Flag
LOL! At least you know that. A little competition can go a long way.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:09 PM FlagIt does feel good, but now I have to be fair to this new lady as well, so I can't stay in limbo, she is my age and divorced with no kids, but too old to start a family - so there is not a whole lot of pressure to do anything quickly. I always thought it would suck to date again but it is nice to talk with someone new and completely different.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:22 PM Flag
My guess? The person she's been dating just broke up with her.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:07 PM Flag-
She doesn't want you but she doesn't want somebody else to have your and the life you provide.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:09 PM FlagOh yeah, we had an outwardly nice life, I worked too much and didn't pay attention - the guy she ended up with worked with her and frankly worked on her for years. My wife and I were friends since we were 14 years old, I took a lot of things for granted, but I always thought we were a team.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:19 PM Flag
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It's water under the bridge. Do not look back. The problems that were there then are still there.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:32 PM FlagThat is my take on it - I've been through the fog of it all - I want to see my kids happy, as much as I want to give them an intact family, my ex has never even apologized for leaving - she just left and thought she could dictate all the terms and was furious that I didn't give her everything that she wanted.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:48 PM Flag
[+] So I've never "dated". I was in a relationship since High School. I'm 27 and single... 13 replies
- I was going to say you should grow up first, but I'll just tell you to be careful with the online dating thing. Most of the guys are just looking for easy sex...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
So I've never "dated". I was in a relationship since High School. I'm 27 and single now, with a 5 yr old. I'm doing some online dating, but I'm completely intimidated by going out on a date, I also tend to lean towards rushing things (always been the girl jotting my married name and kids name with every new bf). Can you give me some pointers on how to date?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 07:47 PM Flag ]Read the Rules, Patti Stranger's book, and How to Stop Wondering when you'll meet him or something like that. Use these as a guideline, but create your own formula. I went from being too needy/texty/rushed to being too cold...and now I'm trying to find the right balance. These books did slow me down a lot though.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:49 PM Flagomg. don't read these books!!! be yourself but never, ever clingy because you are just fine being without a man. don't call men until you have had at least 3 dates, preferably 5. just be nice. let them pay for dinners. you pick up drinks or dessert elsewhere if you like him. don't play mind games. but don't be desperate.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:01 PM Flag-
no. those books are f-ed up. they say things like "don't guffaw, you must laugh dainty little peel." "don't ever call, even if they call you and leave a message." wth? i would call back if someone left me a message. very rude. do not accept a date if he calls on thursday for a friday even if you have no plans. uh, no, if he thinks i am a loser because i didn't have friday plans, then he is a judgmental ass and i don't need him in my life. if i have nothing, we go. if i have something else lined up, that's his loss. then there's "be easy to be with and laugh a lot -- be a creature like no other. " wth? i am me. i have angry moments. i have sad moments. i have contemplative moments. you take it or leave it. then in the marriage rules, there's the gold, "don't share your problems with your husband -- that's what friends and relatives are for!" uh, so, husbands are not "relatives" but just family so he shouldn't be bothered with your worries and gripes?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 10:23 PM Flag
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I was going to say you should grow up first, but I'll just tell you to be careful with the online dating thing. Most of the guys are just looking for easy sex
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:49 PM FlagYou need to experience what life is like on your own first. You haven't ever done that. It's actually a nice thing. Then you'll be in a more confident & strong place when you are ready to date and you won't pick the wrong guy just because you want to be in a relationship
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:50 PM Flag
[+] I just found out my new girlfriend was sexually abused growing up. Aside from talkin... 11 replies
- gently -- with so many fish in the sea, do you want one that cries during sex bc she is so abused? Your relationship is still very new. I would cut bait. I...
- I think that is really harsh. I was abused and I got therapy. But sometimes sex can still make me cry. Sometimes it is not even a bad thing, which I know...that, but he must like her if he dated her for three months with no sex and is asking for advice on how to help her. Everyone has some issue, and...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
I just found out my new girlfriend was sexually abused growing up. Aside from talking to her and reading books about the topic, what can I do to be especially reassuring and caring towards her when we have sex? We went to bed together for the first time this weekend (been dating 3 months) and she started crying right in the middle of things. I don't want to cause her any more hurt, I just want to be there for her. Any ideas? I have a 5 year old daughter from a previous marriage and I'd kill anyone who ever hurt her. I am feeling a lot of anger towards the person who hurt my girlfriend.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 07:41 PM Flag ]I mean this gently -- with so many fish in the sea, do you want one that cries during sex bc she is so abused? Your relationship is still very new. I would cut bait. I wouldn't be thrilled about bringing all that baggage into my young daughter's life.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:46 PM Flag-
Or here -- it could also be best for the girlfriend, too. It sounds like she needs to work on healing herself right now.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:52 PM FlagI think that is really harsh. I was abused and I got therapy. But sometimes sex can still make me cry. Sometimes it is not even a bad thing, which I know sounds odd, but it just a release. I am perfectly functional in life and am a good mother and step mother.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:02 PM FlagI'm sure you are! I just mean in an ideal world, you'd choose to not have that as part of your life, right? So why would OP choose to take on that burden with someone he's only known for a few months? I would care deeply for a friend and want to help in any way I could if they confided in me that theyd been abused. But OP has just started dating this person. Why commit to a harder situation if you don't have to?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:18 PM FlagI get that, but he must like her if he dated her for three months with no sex and is asking for advice on how to help her. Everyone has some issue, and I am awfully glad my husband stuck it out with me! I will tell you that being abused made me a more compassionate person.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:24 PM Flag
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I'm also a victim of sexual abuse...but not long term ongoing, which seems might be the case here? Anyway, what helps me is 1. Having my partner know (which you do). 2. Support!!! Tell me if something is good for you. I often feel inadequate. Also, I hate hate hate having him ask me what I like. I'd prefer you complete a task and then I'll say I liked it, or ask for more, etc. Idk if that makes sense, but I hate talking about what I want a guy to do. She might need more therapy. I needed a lot.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:47 PM Flag
[+] 50 year old father of two here. I've been dating for about 3 years now (divorced for ... 121 replies
- Do you know anyone who is his age and out there dating (of either sex)? It's pretty weird from what I hear....
Talk : : April 10, 2012
50 year old father of two here. I've been dating for about 3 years now (divorced for 6 years) and at this point I feel like every single woman out there is wrong for me. Everyone I meet seems self-absorbed, arrogant, pushy, shallow, boring, mean, crazy, or just plain stupid. I'm not arrogant, but I'm a nice guy with some good qualities. I just want to find a normal girl, who is nice and smart. That's all. Is that too much? What am I doing wrong?
121 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 05:07 PM Flag ]-
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No, old guy comes on here complaining that all of the "girls" that he meets are dreadful and we're supposed to say what? Agree? Please. He sounds like he's his own problem. He's 50..yet the majority of the women he's dating are in their 30s and 40s (likely early 40s)and more than likely child free themselves. His primary focus is likely looks and he probably looks passable at best. I'm sorry--50 with kids? He's not exactly eligible bachelor material: men die younger than women. These women see depends and ornery step kids in their future and they're not taking him seriously. OP, try dating 50 year old single mothers. Stay in your lane and you'll have better results.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:26 PM FlagI only date single mothers. As I have said in a response below, I don't feel that I have enough in common with a never-married childless woman to even attempt a single date. I didn't realize that age difference was such a big deal. Most of the women I date are in their 40s, the youngest one was 37 (when I was 48).
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:29 PM Flag
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I fing divorced men whith children want a woman to help him with the kids when he has them. If she isn't interested he calls her selfish. This is why I dont date men with kids. I'm not gonna help you do the dirty work.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:44 PM Flag
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How old are the women you're dating? Where are you meeting them? What are you doing with them datewise - dinner, movies, museums?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:09 PM Flag-
I am dating women in their late 30s and 40s. The youngest woman I've dated was 37 (I was 48 at the time). I don't discriminate on age, but women who are under 35 have no interest in me.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:11 PM Flagnp: that's good to know. You need to try to stay away from where you're meeting these wrong women. Seems like the women I know that are my age (43) and aren't married are a little pushy, nutty and demanding to get married. Maybe try looking in places that are very different for you. Have you been fixed up by friends?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:13 PM Flag
If you're 50 and looking for a "girl," and every "woman" you meet is a nut, I think you have your answer.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:09 PM FlagIt was a figure of speech, a mistake, sorry. I don't care about age, but most of the women that I date are in their 40s, only a handful have been in their late 30s.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:27 PM Flag
I'm single, pretty, super nice, and a doctor. 31. I'd be reluctant to date someone with kids. Maybe you should date older women? 45+?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:17 PM Flagnp: when you meet a man who is 50yrs, I'd hope he'd have at least one dc..if no kids, no ex wife, no ex fiance that would be a big red flag for me. I'd run
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:19 PM FlagDitto. After age 30 or so if you don't have any baggage, there's something wrong.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:20 PM FlagI'm dating men around my age to 38 or so who have never been married. Think 50 yo dad should date w/i his age bracket instead of blaming all women for being mean, crazy, stupid, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:24 PM FlagWell, I agree with that on the age range. But frankly, don't you think he probably is encountering some nutty types?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:26 PM FlagSome nutty types, sure...but only mean/crazy/selfish etc women in 3 years of dating? no way. I think the problem's with OP, not every single woman he's dated!
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:30 PM Flagnp: with all of the WACK JOBS here on UB, I can only imagine how hard it's been to date for this 50 yr old man. Women are Freaking Crazy. Men too...but there's a reason why I don't have a lot of female friends....many are total PITA, bitchy and bratty. Not a lot of difference btwn lots of single ladies these days and the same teens I went to all girls school with. Coo-Koo
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:38 PM Flag
What is my age bracket. I had kids later in life, so I find that I have more in common with a 40 yo mom (who has kids) a 47 yo single woman with no kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:31 PM FlagAnd a normal well adjusted 40 y/o with small kids of her own is looking for a man 10 years older with small kids because. . .
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:38 PM FlagMy kids are not small, but why would that be a problem? What do well adjusted women with young kids look for? A never married guy with no kids?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:39 PM Flagnp: because most of the time women are much more mature than men and for a single 43yr old with young kids to date a single man the same age...it's not a match. At this age we want no bullshit. Just a nice, relaxing, comfortable date...not a 43yr old man who still think he's 24 and wants to HANG that way
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:40 PM Flag
What about women who are kind of plain, maybe a bit plump, not flashy but just solid and dependable?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:18 PM Flagthe way you describe women above does not sound inviting. it doesn't sound like you have a good opinion of women or any vision of the qualities of a woman who would be a good fit, from your post, anyway. women may be picking up on your frustration and current state of disappointment and negativity. that is not attractive.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:24 PM Flag
It is hard to find someone in NYC. People here are so ambitious. Always looking to be better and "one-up" the next person. You want to date someone smart and sexy. But also genuine and decent and kind. It's a really hard mix to find. I think many women would concur it is hard to find the same exact things in a man.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:29 PM Flagstart by making changes in the way you think and speak. disillusionment, unsuccessful, gripes, are words from your last response and your original post was negative as well. focus on being an upbeat, optimistic, kind, funny, creative, interesting, inspiring person and you will attract same.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:38 PM FlagI am an optimistic person, but I've tried dating for 3 years (actively dating) with very little luck. This is a negative post because I have a problem. If everything was great, I wouldn't be posting asking for advice. When I go out on a date, I don't kick it off by complaining about all the other women out there, obviously.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:41 PM FlagI have been divorced for three years and only dated two men briefly. Both times I broke it off because I felt like he was seeing at least 4-5 other women and I didn't know how comfortable I was getting intimate with someone who might be sleeping with others simultaneously. I hadn't been single since mid 90's and everything seemed so different. I get what you are saying because I feel like men are the same way that you are describing women. I am in my late 30's, very thin, attractive, smart, etc. but have not had good success with dating. I think it's a timing thing. When it is right, it will happen. I swore off internet dating. Just waiting for the right thing to happen the old fashioned way.....
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:46 PM FlagUnless we have a conversation about being exclusive, I expect that the woman I am dating is seeing other people, and I hope that she expects the same from me. Realistically, though, there's very little time in my schedule to be carrying on multiple relationships. When I get serious about someone, I try to spend as much time as I can with them, which sort of takes care of the "other women" problem on its own.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:51 PM FlagWhat is your longest relationship? When did you have the exclusivity convo?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:01 PM FlagThe longest one after the divorce lasted for 7 months. She brought up exclusivity about 3 weeks into it (after 4 dates) and I consented. She turned out to be incredibly jealous, clingy, and a bit nuts.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:03 PM FlagWell 7 months is a nice long run. I would say you should just "hang in there." I think you'll meet someone if you keep your eyes out. Don't be afraid to talk to strangers. Have a business card you could hand to someone if she catches your eye in a coffee shop.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:07 PM Flag
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I am a research scientist and tenured professor. I own a two bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side and a small house in Cambridge MA. A bit in savings, retirement and my kids' future is well planned for. Nothing flashy or glamorous, but I can afford a very nice dinner for two a couple of times per week, if that's what you mean.
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I am well-read, curious, intellectual, average height, athletic, thin, have all my hair, no particularly hideous features. I am securely employed, financially stable. I want a woman who is sweet, kind, intelligent, intellectual, well-read, cultured, has kids, and is not insane.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:05 PM FlagToo bad this is an anonymous board or you'd probably get some dates tonight. lol
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:08 PM Flag-
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I have this hysterical vision in my head that you are really a group of women who are drinking and having fun "playing" this whole posting.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:22 PM FlagI am for real (unfortunately). Although this wasn't as productive as I hoped. My fault, I guess. It's hard to get the point across online.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:25 PM FlagActually, you are getting very real answers. There are some gems of truth in what people are saying. Some wackos too. Being on UB is kind of like riding the subway.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:30 PM Flagnp you sound attractive to me, although I am a little wary of your science-orientation as the stereotype is that science folk aren't great communicators. BTW, while I am married I am trying to figure out my exit. I am pretty normal, but to be honest the combo of crappy marriage, 3 kids and sorting out my career in this downturn are making me crazy. I digress from your issues...sorry. Misplaced Adderal Rx, in all seriousness.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:34 PM Flag
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This will sound awful, but are the women you date mostly from Manhattan?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:18 PM FlagTo be honest, watching my mother take care of my much older father as he aged is not something I'd want to repeat, and I'd keep that in mind if I were dating right now. I think you'd have better luck being on the same page with someone over 45. Other than that, I don't know. Good luck.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:39 PM FlagSomehow I feel creeped out by this post. Did you come here to pick-up women or just get a ton of attention from the ladies? I know you're just answering questions, but your responses sound like a personals add.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:20 PM FlagMajor red flags in the OPs posts: Calling adult women "girls"; dating multiple women at the same time and getting put out about "exclusivity"'; claiming every single woman you have recently dated is crazy, arrogant, shallow, stupid, etc.; saying you are looking for someone the exact opposite of your ex
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:13 PM Flag
Bummer that this is an anonymous board and I can't screen you because I have a friend I'd set you up with. 47, doctor, owns her own practice, no kids but loves other people's children, nice, normal, funny and attractive. Oh, well....
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:26 PM Flag
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[+] Poll to get everyone's mind off of G&T: do you think Santorum "suspended" his campaig... 10 replies
- dd is chronically ill and has a poor prognosis. Sorry for that but would still love to see his lost sex tapes...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Poll to get everyone's mind off of G&T: do you think Santorum "suspended" his campaign b/c of his daughter and/or the potential embarrassment of losing PA? Or are we going to find out he's a gay prostitute and meth kind of guy?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 04:09 PM Flag ]
[+] Rick Santorum is out! Phew!! 31 replies
- At least he was open about his troglodyte views about women and sex; Romney likely feels much the same, but is too smart to say so. If Romney...
- Just don't have crazy sex outside of marriage and then you don't have to worry about terminating an unwanted...got his way, a married couple wouldn't even be allowed to have crazy sex or use contraception....
Talk : : April 10, 2012
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At least he was open about his troglodyte views about women and sex; Romney likely feels much the same, but is too smart to say so. If Romney is elected, ladies, we will be defending our rights to our own bodies all over again.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:00 PM Flagwe're defending them now! Have you seen what's going on at the state level? It's insane.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:13 PM FlagJust don't have crazy sex outside of marriage and then you don't have to worry about terminating an unwanted pregnancy. It's not rocket science.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:17 PM FlagI guess you all don't accept that you are a woman and women produce children.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:33 PM Flag
[+] I think my therapist wants to sleep with me. 58 replies
- are you going to pay him if you sleep with him? I'd say sex during therapy = free "session"...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
I think my therapist wants to sleep with me.
58 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 02:20 PM Flag ]Has the therapist said or done anything unethical or just a vibe you're feeling?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 02:22 PM Flag-
You should tell him that you think that - it will make the sessions more interesting for him. He's probably bored.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 02:23 PM Flagoh, ok. $270/hr and he gets to talk about his damn self because he wants your money but doesn't give a shit about your life. what a great deal for the patient. some new yorkers are so screwed up.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 02:28 PM Flag
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My neighbor was a marriage counselor and ended up sleeping with one of his clients. It ended the clients' marriage and his own. Great guy.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 02:54 PM Flagprobably not. This is called transferance when you put these types of feelings onto your therapist
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:01 PM Flag-
Men get erections all the time since it's not a conscious act. Maybe he thinks you're hot. That doesn't mean he wants your bod
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:04 PM FlagThis sounds incredibly naive to me. In my experience, it usually means they want to sleep with you. We have had some pretty racy and double-entendre laden conversations.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:06 PM FlagSince I was married to a therapist, I'm not naive about what goes on during therapy. If you really think this guy is coming on to you, find a new therapist since you are wasting your time and money
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:07 PM Flag-
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Not a client, but he slept around. Just remember that people go into the field looking for answers to their own problems. They're all messed up to start with so don't get pulled into anything that isn't to your benefit. If you want to sleep with the guy,do it, but don't keep him as a therapist
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:13 PM FlagInteresting, I think a lot of them have need-to-be-loved/adored, and need-to-be-right or definer-of-reality issues.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:16 PM FlagThis is fascinating to me because DH's first wife was a therapist and she slept around, including with her mentor. He hates therapists - I truly hope we never need one because he will have a very hard time going.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:11 PM FlagAre you fricking kidding me? Not all therapists are your ex husband. My therapist is nothing like the above of what you mentioned and seems to genuinely care about making a difference. Look, I've seen shitty therapist, and I'm not denying that they're human and suject to flaws, too, but please don't denounce a whole profession based on one person. Judge on a case by case basis. If people actually believe this they could be seriously damaged because they would not get help since all therapists are messed up too. Then what's the point? Come on, it's not that bad. Yeah, he is, but not everyone.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:20 PM Flag
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Curb Your enthusiasm reference...means that it wasn't an erection, just puffed up pants
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:10 PM Flag-
I get that this is a turn on, and of course you have a very intimate relationship, but this is a very bad idea for you. He knows too much about you, knows your insecurities and weaknesses, knows how to manipulate you. It will end badly and you will feel violated. Don't do it.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:16 PM Flag
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Makes me wonder how often therapists and patients do sleep together and it goes unreported.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:10 PM FlagYeah. Because therapists want to fuck their crazy-pants psycho patients.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:32 PM FlagMaybe not the crazy ones, but there are some hot garden variety neurotics out there.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:43 PM FlagI'm a therapist, and trust me, no matter how how you think you are (even if you truly are hot), your neuroses kill any sexual desire I might have. I also know that deep down you're a psycho, and I'm not interested in coming home to find a rabbit boiling on the stove.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:45 PM Flag
[+] Do you think this is normal - dh and I on a family vacation - we share hotel room wit... 9 replies
- You wanted to have sex with your husband while kids were asleep in the same room? That would kill the mood for me. Maybe it was the...
- He never does stuff - we have routinely had sex on saturdays mostly in my bed...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Do you think this is normal - dh and I on a family vacation - we share hotel room with kids and kids fell asleep and we were packing and dh leaned over and started making out with me and then a second later went back to the business of packing. We do not have a great sex life and it is an issue so i thought maybe we'd go into the bathroom or something but that was it - an hour later we were sleeping in separate beds bc each kid was in one. I was miserable. Am I wrong - do I expect too much? Wouldnt most husbands have gone for it?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 12:41 PM Flag ]You wanted to have sex with your husband while kids were asleep in the same room? That would kill the mood for me. Maybe it was the same for your husband. Next time you could suggest to him that you two slip into the bathroom or on the balcony if you are really feeling it.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:44 PM FlagI thought my DH had a low libido but kids also sleep in our bed ( they are babies). Now we have rearranged our furniture so there is a spare bed away from the kids and amazingly he wants it almost every night. So maybe he really was put off by kids' presence. Let him know you are interested in some way and then see if he makes the right move when circumstances are better.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:16 PM Flag
[+] Just heard from the mother of one of my DS's friends from preschool. She texted me h... 7 replies
- she's annoying! I hope your ds got same score. I bet she wouldn't do this if you had a dd though. I think people only get competitive when they have same sex kids, know what i mean?...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Just heard from the mother of one of my DS's friends from preschool. She texted me her DD's stellar G&T score. Didn't bother to ask about DS's score. Annoying or am I being oversensitive?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 11:56 AM Flag ]Well I think it's annoying that she sent you her DD'd score but sometimes people are afraid to ask how someone else did - and if your DS did lousy then you might think it was rude of her to ask.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 11:58 AM FlagAre you good friends? She may consider you a "safe" person to brag to, but not want to pour salt on it by asking in case your dc didn't do well.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:14 PM Flag
[+] speaking of penis- my 3.5 yr old has a very large one- i feel bad for his older broth... 33 replies
- It's on the sex chromosome that women do not have....
Talk : : April 10, 2012
speaking of penis- my 3.5 yr old has a very large one- i feel bad for his older brother who isnt quite as well endowed...
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 06:57 AM Flag ]i would never admit this in real life, but my 4 yo's is tiny and i swear it's been the same size since he was 18 months old. i do worry about him, in the back of my head.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:03 AM FlagIt's true about the feet. My 2.10 yo is going into size 10 shoes.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:11 AM Flag-
My small footed guy is very cute and funny I think that makes up for things right? Any doctors on -does this 'trait' get passed down from mother or father side? Anyone know?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:20 AM Flagi walked into this conversation when my wife was in the hospital after my son was delivered by c-section. Doctor to my wife: he has a very substantial penis (ob was a woman). I thought I was hearing things, the ob turned to me smiled broadly and looked at me down below. when she left I asked my wife, "Did she say what I think she said?" My wife laughed, hurting herself a little. My boy is nearly five, and he's brimming with even more self-confidence, if you know what I mean...for those who don't, no one will ever make fun of him in a locker room. It's funny...and he's discovered it, and we've had to have talks with him about tapping himself there every now and then.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:37 AM Flag
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Gay Uncle here. You need to stop thinking about this. Seriously. It's creepy.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:50 AM Flagyou make it as though im walking around constantly thinking about this- im not- just posting a random thought...and not sure why you need to add that you are gay uncle here, like some special title?, really get over yourself.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:52 AM Flag
[+] Anybody separate/live separately but never divorce? 22 replies
- in the house before we bought it and didn't think of this.) He wakes at 3:30am and is at work by 5:30. He is frequently in bed by 8pm in the remote guest room. Kids make too much noise, just a fact. I admit sex is infrequent at best these days, but not nonexistent....
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Anybody separate/live separately but never divorce?
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 06:47 AM Flag ]i am separated 1.5 yrs right now...its expensive to divorce...but we are in the process..
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:58 AM Flag-
I posted last night trying to figure out if anyone has divorced, but decided to live together to help minimize the financial impact of a the divorce. Think it would help with child care as well. I am wondering if folks have that arrangement.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:00 AM Flagthat sounds really hard, but makes more sense than OPs idea. I've been divorced for 4 years and there are actually times that I wish exDH lived with us as it would make things easier on DC. Those are the times when exDH and I get along really well- which is even better than at our best. Not an ounce of attraction to him and no respect for him, but living apart is just so hard for DC.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 09:15 AM Flag
Yes, I looked into it at one point. Eventually, though, DH decided it was too much effort to get an entirely separate place to maintain. Now he just comes and goes. When he does not want to come home and wants his own time, he has a favorite hotel in town that he likes. He is an insane workaholic and sometimes the house and kids and chaos is too much. It has worked for several years now.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:03 AM FlagDo you still have a loving relationship and/or sleep together?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:05 AM FlagYes, loving relationship, nope don't sleep together, we have an open floor plan house and every single noise reaches the bedroom, which shares an open ceiling with the living room and kitchen. (Unfortunately didn't sleep in the house before we bought it and didn't think of this.) He wakes at 3:30am and is at work by 5:30. He is frequently in bed by 8pm in the remote guest room. Kids make too much noise, just a fact. I admit sex is infrequent at best these days, but not nonexistent.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 09:06 AM Flag
How do you handle your finances? Do you both work? If not, isn't the employed spouse resentful?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:08 AM FlagDH is sole breadwinner. He loves the family but it is definitely a totally different atmosphere than he's comfortable. He likes his quiet private space and at our house it's kids, their friends, all different ages, and when you have someone who wants the entire house to be quiet when he gets home after work, it just doesn't work out that way. He would be happy with a dorm room and a cot, the quiet matters to him. Sometimes he also sleeps at his office.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 09:09 AM Flag
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[+] One of my upstairs neighbors is having sex and she moans so loud, she is basically sc... 6 replies
- It's not continuously, it comes and goes. From start to finish it lasts approximately an hour. I hate that I know so much about my neighbor's sex life and I don't even know who she is....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
One of my upstairs neighbors is having sex and she moans so loud, she is basically screaming. This has been going on for over an hour. It's embarrassing when I have guests over. I also wonder if the other neighbors think it might be me. Deep inside however, I'm just jealous of her amazing sex life. Just needed to vent.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 08:36 PM Flag ]
[+] I'm worried about a friend. A few years ago, she moved in with her boyfriend. He boug... 14 replies
- could have happened during lunch time. remember that woman who had sex with her husband's friend when she went ot look at his new apartment during lunch? there wasn't even any furniture there. man, the pressure on the knees...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I'm worried about a friend. A few years ago, she moved in with her boyfriend. He bought an apartment in cash that was big enough for her and her three kids (he has no kids). She wasn't on the deed, and no official arrangements were ever made. Now, her kids feel like this is their home. Things aren't good and my friend wants to move out. I'm worried that her BF (who is sometimes prone to intense anger) could be more vindictive and simply evict them all or change the locks. Does anyone know what the legalities in this situation are? (My friend has contributed to household expenses, including paying to renovate a bathroom, but they've never put anything in writing.)
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 08:19 PM Flag ]-
OP: This is what I'm afraid of. What if he changes the locks one day -- can she get access to get her kids' clothes/toys/books/stuff out of there? She just told him about an affair she's had and he's pissed. He doesn't have kids of his own, so he doesn't "get" it.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:23 PM FlagSounds like your friend should get her cheating butt out of her boyfriend's apt.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:25 PM FlagSorry, you can't cheat on your meal ticket. Slut. But she can probably get police to let her get her stuff back.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:26 PM FlagWhat state does she live in? In NY, anywhere you reside for more than 30 days becomes your residence-regardless of any legal contract. Just the fact that she & the kids have been under his roof for a period of time exceeding 30 days he cannot just change the locks and prevent them from entering. If he wants them out he MUST go through the legal eviction process. Absolutely call the police if he tries anything. They cannot back him up on an "illegal" eviction.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:38 AM Flag
NP: I'm wondering if I can kick my deadbeat boyfriend out by changing the locks. It's my house -- he refuses to leave. Sorry for the hijack. (His kids aren't in the picture.)
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:25 PM FlagImagine if he did put her on the deed and get cheated on... loses his family and his house. ANYONE can move in a few days if they really wanted to (maybe you have to pay extra, accept a lesser rental, or borrow money, but it can certainly be done!), it must be incredibly uncomfortable for him, her, and her kids to all live under the same roof until june 1. That being said, if he kicks your friend out, she should be able to get back in to get her stuff. Just show the police her driver license or bill to establish her address, and they will escort her to get her stuff.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:41 PM Flagwait, how is it even possible to have an affair when you have three kids and they live with you and your boyfriend, who is not their father? is your "friend" like, "kids, stay home with Uncle Larry while I go out for yet another girls' night" and the BF is just like, "duh, even though I bought a 3BR for $2.2M cash, I still must be such a fucking idiot that I believe this horseshit about another girls' night out?"
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:03 PM Flag
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[+] I'm cold and stand-offish with men. Had sex with a guy recently and want to see him a... 9 replies
- no no baby. He needs to send you a message. Do not send him a message. And don't have random sex with people unless you know they are into you and want to see you regularly or have a relationship. I have made this mistake...
- We've gone out a lot. Known each other 1.5 years. Sex over the weekend....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I'm cold and stand-offish with men. Had sex with a guy recently and want to see him again. Send a message that says I had fun and hope to see him soon? Or nothing?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 07:49 PM Flag ]no no baby. He needs to send you a message. Do not send him a message. And don't have random sex with people unless you know they are into you and want to see you regularly or have a relationship. I have made this mistake and it feels awful. I truly know your pain.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:50 PM Flaghow many times have you been out with him and when did this happen?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:52 PM FlagWe've gone out a lot. Known each other 1.5 years. Sex over the weekend.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:55 PM FlagOk. That's all good. But wait for him to call you. Always remember YOU hold the cards. Always keep him guessing just a little. Don't play games. But let him work a little. Believe it or not it works.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:57 PM FlagHe contacted me today, about something workish. Asked to see me again next weekend (over the weekend) because he has travel plans this weekend. Just wait it out?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:02 PM FlagI know it sounds old fashioned, but let him be in charge. Have lots of plans yourself (even if you make them up!) I do that sometimes. Just this weekend I told a new "friend" that I had a fabulous cocktail party at the harmony club. Totally not true but he lives in NJ and prob doesn't even know what that club is.... anyway...the point is, make him work a little. He'll work harder if he thinks you are busy and not pining for him
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:09 PM Flagyou're just a tad bit too much the "Rules." OP, don't call the dude. if he's into you he'll make it happen. if he doesn't, do you want to bother? don't make up stories but just be very confident that even if you don't have plans, you don't need him to star in your weekends/friday nights because you are totally OK going solo.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:04 PM Flag
a dh: One thing that really turned me on about my wife was she didn't follow the stupid, "Do this" "Don't do that" rules. She called when she wanted and told me what she wanted me to know, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:12 PM Flag
[+] If you named your baby _______ you live in ________. 40 replies
- NP: There is a third choice that is clear from birth: intersex. It used to be that doctors automatically assigned these DB to one sex or the other by snipping something off. Now though, there is a push from intersex adults to leave the kids' genitalia alone until they can make the decision themselves. If my next DB is intersex, I will not make that decision for...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
If you named your baby _______ you live in ________.
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 07:32 PM Flag ]-
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I was thinking about this post today. And life isn't black and white anymore. Not all babies are male or female. Maybe people need to be more open minded.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:00 PM Flag-
I know. At first I was against it. Like, fine, use a planet name or a Roman name...but God names boys and Goddess names for girls. But I'm a teacher, and I have transgender students, I have students who are confused about their gender role...and a name is only a name. And while some have a more historic/traditional use and commonality, times are changing and new things are being accepted. On my grad school application there were three options for gender.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:15 PM Flag-
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NP: There is a third choice that is clear from birth: intersex. It used to be that doctors automatically assigned these DB to one sex or the other by snipping something off. Now though, there is a push from intersex adults to leave the kids' genitalia alone until they can make the decision themselves. If my next DB is intersex, I will not make that decision for him/her.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:05 AM Flag
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[+] What did you give up to have DCs? 20 replies
- I miss going out getting trashed and sleeping it off the next day, I also miss laying in the bed and having sex all day with my DH....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
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Exciting travel for the time being. This year is all about visiting the grandparents.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:56 PM FlagSomeone told me when you check into the hospital to have your baby, you check in your dignity as well and you never get it back. As I stand at the sink washing dishes and my dd starts pulling up my skirt, I think "ah, yes, I miss that dignity thing".
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 03:00 PM FlagHa. True, although am I a fool for thinking I might get it back in 20 years or so?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 03:02 PM Flagdon't worry it does get better - mine are 14 and 16 and cannot remember the last time they were in the bathroom with me (while I was going), but for a long time I thought - OH GOD when can I go to the bathroom by myself or not have someone bang on the door the second I close it
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:26 PM FlagThey actually take time to bang on the door? You are spoiled, lady. Mine waltz right in and sit down to chat. For some reason, that doesn't bother me as much as when I am in the shower - the door swings open "Mom, have you seen my pink pencil?" Lord, could I even wash the soap out of my eyes? Jeez!
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:11 PM Flag
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[+] Why do people (usually naturally thin) always tell others to "lose weight" like it's ... 26 replies
- Spending money wasn't an evolutionary survival skill ingrained in one's genes. Eating as much as you could when food was available is. It's a primal drive, like sex or sleep....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Why do people (usually naturally thin) always tell others to "lose weight" like it's so easy? Think of all of the abuse that fat people receive in this society. Then think of the accolades and good treatment reserved for the thin/attractive. If it were really so simple, would anyone be fat?
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 11:48 AM Flag ]For the same reason that people with genetically clear skin tell me that if I just eat right my skin would clear up.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:50 AM FlagYou don't really get it until/unless it happens to you. When I was 20-something, had tons of discretionary time and a faster metabolism, I never believed maintaining a healthy weight could be that hard. Kind of like childless people who don't get what goes into raising children well.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:54 AM FlagI don't buy this argument. Many people are fat because they are overeating or eating the wrong foods. It isn
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:55 AM Flag^^isn't impossible to lose weight but people have to be willing to put in the work and many just aren't They don't want to think about food or limit their intake just as some people don't budget their money. No one wants to be poor in debt, but look how many people spend more than they make.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:57 AM FlagIt is easy to be judgmental. In 2 years of fertility treatments, including many IUIs and IVFs, I'm up 30 pounds. The exercise ban my RE imposed has only compounded the issue.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:10 PM Flagop: I realize there are different circumstances. That is why I said many and not most. I don't go around making assumptions about people I see. Many people are not overweight due to medical reasons, but because of the choices they make. I am in the process of losing weight and I feel empowered to know that my weight loss is about me changing my relationship with food.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:16 PM Flag
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My sister in law is an unhealthy thin eater but thinks she is a nutritionist. I am over weight but eat healthy foods. (Portion control is my problem.) When she starts talking to me about my weight, I ask her to do math in her head. ("I weigh X now. You think I should weigh Y so what percentage of my current body mass do I have to lose?) I walk away while she is biting her bottom lip.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:12 PM Flag
[+] What would you do if, in the course of a run-of-the-mill argument with dh, he made a ... 96 replies
- argument? NO, you can't. If you mean in a conversation about health, your sex life, etc, then yes, if you are sincere and kind....
- , go to Soul Cycle, lose weight, get him panting over your body, but withhold sex from him and enjoy a new vibrator....
- 'm not wasting my time with someone who wants a trophy wife, plastic filled, botox sex object. YOU can go find yourself one of those all on your own. I'm...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
What would you do if, in the course of a run-of-the-mill argument with dh, he made a comment about your weight?
96 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 11:00 AM Flag ]-
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Need more info. But, I'd say at first it would really bum me out. Later, the next day, I think I'd be upset that I married someone who was immature and didn't know how to fight or disagree without name calling and resorting to off-topic subjects. It would also make me think he was desperate to end the "conversation" since insulting someone's weight will certainly end many discussions, heated or normal. What is your plan? What did he say exactly? Are you sure you aren't being overly sensitive?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:04 AM FlagI have no plan. I am fuming. He told me to lose weight and stop talking. So I have stopped talking. He knows I have struggled with losing weight for years, but in the past he's always said I look good and I should not worry about a few extra pounds. To be clear I probably am about 10 pounds overweight and 10 lbs heavier than when we met (post childbirth too).
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:09 AM FlagHe is being nice but it clearly makes a significant difference despite being only 10 lbs.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:42 AM FlagIt's only ten pounds!! And he should love her for who she is, not what she looks like if he really loves her! She should throw that in his face. "Well, I thought you married me for who I am, not my body fat percentage! If I had known that you wuld think I was so unattractive with TEN POUNDS added to my frame then I'm not so sure I would have made that trip down the aisle. And if this is how the rest of the treatment is going to be when I get a little crow's feet, or my boobs start sagging then you can just forget this marriage, because I'm not wasting my time with someone who wants a trophy wife, plastic filled, botox sex object. YOU can go find yourself one of those all on your own. I'm going to go enjoy someone who is heterosexual and likes me for me, and will lean in, grab my ass and say "I'll show you who's fat."
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 06:51 PM Flag
Mention either his hairline or his income. Then I'd let him know he gets what he pays for...quality and quantity, baby.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:05 AM FlagI'd do this, but I have the sort of DH who is baffled about why I care so much about my weight. (I am actually medically overweight, but he notices external appearances very little in general, for anybody.) It is unlikely to be the sort of barb he'd throw in an argument.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:09 AM Flag
wow, that's really mean. do you think it is possible that he is really concerned about your weight--are you really over weight? or was it just mean-spirited?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:14 AM FlagNo. I am about 10 lbs overweight and have been this way for years. I lose 5 lbs, then gain a few back, then lose a few. It was just mean. He told me to stop talking and lose weight. I haven't spoken to him since. Don't know what my next step should be.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:16 AM FlagTell him what he said was mean/hurtful an he owes you an apology and ask him what's going on w him, etc. If this is out of character, I'd assume there is something else eating at him and he is taking out frustration in you. If he does it again, stop discussing the matter at hand and make him explain why he just insulted you. I want to say fire back but that will just justify his name calling another time.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:24 AM FlagI haven't spoken to him since last night. I don't want to ask for an apology. I want him to suffer for what he has done and figure it out himself.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:28 AM FlagBut is he suffering or only you? Let's say you give it another 24 hrs and you pretty much stew the whole time. Finally, you have to disuss something routine and he still doesnt mention it but just carries on. What do you do then? What if he then says he cant believe your still world up about it two days later and he then thinks you are trying to create drama w the silent treatment routine. Better to just deal w it head on.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:41 AM Flag
That is gross. First I would cry. Then I would milk it for a major apology and payback. A spa day? Or maybe more. A personal trainer or chef if he is so concerned?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:22 AM FlagLose weight and ask him to pay for a trainer or watch the kids more
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:28 AM Flagit really depends on the facts, and there are not nearly enough to decide here. you said that he thinks you shouldn't worry about it, yet you still worry about it, and it's only 10 lbs. It's possible that he just spoke out of frustration because he's tired of hearing you going on and on about it and indulging what he sees as unhealthy thoughts. wasn't there, so i don't know what happened, but if this is that much out of character, it makes me think there is much more to this story.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:38 AM Flag-
Lose weight. Sorry, but I can't see why more people don't do this.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:41 AM Flagugh. And if he had told her she looked like a hag should she simply get a facelift?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:43 AM Flag-
Well, what, can he never notice it or ask her to change it? Ever?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:46 AM Flag-
a dh: Fighting mean like that is not ok. It is bullying. It is not ok to strangers and it is especially not ok with someone you supposedly love. All that aside, if there is a chance my kids hear that kind of talk, I would be doubly pissed.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:45 AM FlagSo any weight related comments are, by definition, bullying?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:46 AM Flag
Based on the details you later provide, it wasn't really a comment about your weight. You've been whining about losing weight for awhile, so finally in the middle of an argument he basically said do it or shut up about it. Not the same as calling you fat.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:49 AM FlagI don't whine about anything. It was not an argument about my weight. My weight had absolutely nothing to do with it. It was a low blow intended to hurt my feelings and end the argument.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:51 AM FlagHe said you should stop talking about losing weight and just do it- right?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:53 AM FlagNo. The argument had nothing to do with my weight. My weight is not a problem. He tried to come up with the meanest thing he could say to me. He couldn't say I'm ugly, because I am not, or attack me in another way. He knows I am conscious of my weight, so he used it against me to end the argument.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:55 AM Flag-
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[+] I don't know what to do...divorced, 2 DC. Have been dating my BF seriously for 2.5 y... 77 replies
- re better off with a female roommate. The sex, affection and physical aspect is the distinguising feature...advocate, how to explain my ex who withheld sex from me during our marriage out of cruelty....was gay. we didnt have a lot of sex because he couldnt keep his hard on- the...He's also 50, older men have lower sex drives...
- depressives have low sex drives and their are PLENTY of male depressives...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I don't know what to do...divorced, 2 DC. Have been dating my BF seriously for 2.5 yrs. I love him - he's a gentleman, sensitive, I know w/o a doubt he loves me and my DC. He's 50 - never been married but a number of long term relationships. His last GF was a disaster and really traumatized him so he didn't date for about 3 yrs before he met me. Anyway, our relationship has lacked all sexual intimacy for months and months. We kiss and hug and regularly tell each other we love each other frequently but overall I'd say we lack affection. I've brought this to his attention many times and I know it's hard for him to hear but he's cognizant of my feelings and the importance I place on intimacy. We live together (no flames, pls) and he literally does nothing around the house, doesn't take the dog out even occasionally w/o me asking, doesn't wake up on holidays to watch kids open presents or find their Easter baskets. He's having a lot of financial issues (we keep everything separate but split all bills and rent)
77 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 08:53 AM Flag ]^^every once and awhile for dinner and he rarely gets me a present on my birthday or Xmas. I'm not a materialistic person and really don't 'need' anything g but it's always nice to give a little so
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:54 AM Flag^^^sorry. Nice to give a little something. Finally, I have a good job but I still live paycheck to paycheck. My parents v. generously help - they pay the balance btwn what we can afford in rent and the actual rent total, they put down thousands as a security deposit for the rental, they pay a couple utility bills, etc. My BF doesn't like my parents - they weren't extraordinarily keen about me living with him, etc and they worry as he has a good job but isn't solvent due to various bad real estate investments. Plus my parents just have some weird thoughts/beliefs that he doesn't agree with. Im torn btwn love and reality. It sucks.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:00 AM Flag
Sounds about right. This is what I would expect from someone who is 50, has never been married and is dating someone who is divorced with 2 kids. What's your question? Will you find someone better? No. Maybe different but not better.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:58 AM FlagYou give way too much credit to his last girlfriend. He is selfish. Yes, I remember all of your other posts.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:02 AM FlagYou're better off with a female roommate. The sex, affection and physical aspect is the distinguising feature between a significant other and all other relationships. If you were both fine without it, fine. But since you're not, I'd consider other options. He'll probably still be around if you want to come back.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:04 AM FlagI don't need a roommate - just don't know what the smart thing to do is b/c I when I love I love. I'm 38 so it sounds like maybe everything besides the intimacy and financial stuff could be due to his age/marital status. The intimacy thing makes me crazy as ex withheld it from me (he was abusive - everything but physically abusive) and I crave the connection.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:08 AM FlagJust read the rest of your post about how he doesn't help with anything, has financial troubles, etc. This guy is better than the abusive ex but you really need to keep setting the bar higher. He sounds like an old dog laying around that needs to eat but doesn't contribute. Warm body.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:14 AM Flagwe all have different needs, and it is good that you know and acknowledge yours. reading your posts, I would so rather not be in a relationship than be in the one you are in. i'm divorced, but for the sake of my kid would not enter into a relationship that put me in a worse financial situation. and if you need intimacy and he isn't offering it, what exactly is appealing about this relationship?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:17 AM Flag
Your 50 year-old bf is allowing your parents to contribute to his bills? Do you have any self-respect? Is he committed to your children? His ex has nothing to do with how poorly he treats you, and you put up with this.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:05 AM FlagI have self respect. The bill thing is most certainly one of the reasons my parents don't like him. It bothers me, too. I don't know what to do.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:11 AM FlagGeez. Seriously? Stop taking money from your parents. I've been sending money TO my widowed mother since I was 35. People who take money from their parents after the age of 25 disgust me. You should be ashamed of yourself. Move into a cheaper place. Spend less money. Be responsible.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:15 AM Flag
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If this is enough for you, then fine, but the guy is either gay or has a mother issue
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:16 AM FlagHe was adopted - lived until an orphanage until one so Mother issue is realistic.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:22 AM Flag-
Do you really think he would still have issues that cause certain behaviors at age 50? Do you think the things I've outlined sound like he's treating me like a 'Mother''? Although come to think of it, when we did have sex, he always asked if I'd role play as Mommy.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:41 AM Flag
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My two cents, with your history of relationships, you really need intensive counseling so you can get on with your life. You are still young and I am sure could find someone better. I am a strong believer in a positive attitude to attract the right people, that and common sense.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:11 AM FlagI know. I was actually in intensive counseling for yrs....individual and marital including domestic violence counseling. I was a hot mess as I was going through divorce and after. Picked/attracted/dated a few v. wrong guys but things started to click for me as time progressed. My BF fell into my lap via a mutual friend. I've outlined a lot of negatives but I felt like I finally found someone good and kind. Like I said, I love him but (not to beat a dead horse) there are nagging reservations that are boiling over. Idiosynchrocies that only become apparent once you live with someone and experience life's obstacles. The only difference - we're not married.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:26 AM Flag
Gay Uncle here. Sorry, babe, but your BF is a Friend of Dorothy. Not that you couldn't be perfectly happy with a gay man as a life partner, but even Liza tried it and it didn't end well.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:34 AM FlagWhy do you say this? Just wondering b/c obviously I'm clueless.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:40 AM FlagGay Uncle here. MEN NEED SEX. Yes, even the ugly ones and the old ones. And when a man needs sex, he seeks it out. If he's not getting it from you, he's getting it elsewhere. And given that you're not married, if it was with another woman, he would have left you for that other woman a long time ago; men are very simple this way. He's obviously gay and still in the closet; the only sex he might be getting could very well just be with his right hand. But the fact of the matter is, a man who doesn't fuck his wife/girlfriend generally is a man who doesn't want sex with women, period.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:48 AM FlagHmmm. To be a devil's advocate, how to explain my ex who withheld sex from me during our marriage out of cruelty. I know he did not cheat. I guess he used his hand. Question though - if a man consistently prefers anal, is that a fetish or a sign of something else?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:56 AM FlagMay be he's asexual or takes meds that gives him low libido
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:10 AM Flag-
depressives have low sex drives and their are PLENTY of male depressives in NYC. combined with the fact that he seems to sleep a lot this could be it. i still think she should move on though. i am however intrigued about her parent's wierd beliefs.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:46 AM Flag
Just curious, did you have a really difficult childhood that you are having such relationship issues now?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:18 AM FlagInteresting question. I have v. few memories of my childhood esp my mother. My Dad finally told me about 3 yrs ago that she was bi-polar/manic and had electric shock therapy as last resort when I was young as she couldn't function. My Dad quit his job on Wall St and started his own firm out of the house so he could look after my Mom and us (I'm 1 of 3). We were wealthy so I didn't want for anything material. However I remember having severe separation anxiety when I was 4/5/6 yrs and I had zero self confidence. I finally blosso
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:22 PM Flag-
^^blossomed in college but I was attracted to men like my father - strong personalities who were in charge.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:24 PM Flagalso, my anxiety re-surfaced on 9/11. I was on the corner of church & liberty - couldn't get through to anyone. 2nd plane hit while I was there. I eventually had to quit my job b/c I couldn't stand being separated by now ex DH. Had DC about a year later and was a SAHM for 4 yrs. Marriage was abusive, etc, etc. Divorced in '09.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:29 PM Flag
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[+] What do I make of this? Went to OBGYN for first prenatal appt. on 3/29. I had sex o... 7 replies
Talk : : April 09, 2012
What do I make of this? Went to OBGYN for first prenatal appt. on 3/29. I had sex on night of 2/28 and pretty certain that I ovulated that night. Or atleast was about to. I had the egg white discharge. So by the time of my appt I should have been 6 weeks, 1 day. OBGYN did a transvaginal sono and said wow great looking sac and it is in a good spot. I was like ok but is there a fetal pole, heartbeat. She couldn't see one but said she was not worried. She was honest in admitting that her machine was very bad and even offered to send me to another place to get another sono. I didn;t. She said she thinks I was about 5 weeks, 6 days but again wasn't concerned. I think this is very strange. I am going back tomorrow to see if the pregnancy is viable and very nervous. What do you think?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 08:00 AM Flag ]First of all, don't worry -- it's too early to worry. 6 weeks can be early. With ds, we saw nothing at 6 wks, I freaked out, and then we went back and everything was fine at 7wks with dd we saw something a little after 6 weeks. At that stage every day makes a difference and 5wk 6 days is not the same as 6 weeks. Also, you could have ovulated later than you thought. All of this is to say, sometimes we have too much knowledge and freak out for no reason. Even science is not exact in this instance. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:16 AM FlagDH here who has gone through enough fertility issues to know entirely too much about female anatomy and ob-gyn issues - short answer- best thing to do is relax and try to think happy thoughts (and maybe have some yams and orange juice- both very good for early developing fetus). primitive fetal heart does not even start beating (let alone be detected) until 25th day after conception, so you were really right on the cusp- standard practice is not even to be "sort of" concerned until you hit nearly 7 weeks without detectable heartbeat (6.5 weeks), and if ob has "old/bad" equipment, sometimes even takes longer (because even an "advanced" fetal pole at that stage is 5 mm, and likely still around 2-4 mm, where even top ultrasounds have difficulty detecting hb). Also, although date of ovulation is obviously a good benchmark of conception, it often takes a day or two for actual conception to occur, which explains 6.1 versus 5.6 discrepancy.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:17 AM FlagAt 6 weeks, you should see a good heartbeat so sounds like you may have ovulated a couple days later than you thought. Good luck tomorrow!
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:37 AM Flag
[+] OMG, just read a post where a mother described the process of researching schools (el... 16 replies
- to get my tour and interview on the same day but that didn't work out for most schools. Have you been through the process? I'm going to go through the process next yr for 2 kids at once..one for HS and one for K (diff. sex this time). I am not looking forward to that but will be very organized...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
OMG, just read a post where a mother described the process of researching schools (elementary) as a FT job. Oy. Some of you really don't understand what it means to actually work? signed, SAHM.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 06:53 AM Flag ]I'm a SAHM, have worked outside of the house FT and have been through the school process for 2 dcs. When you're applying to many schools (we applied to 8 many yrs ago), it takes up most of your days for all of the fall and beginning of winter. I had 3 visits per school (tour, dc visit and our interview). On maybe 2 occasions I was lucky to get my tour and interview on the same day but that didn't work out for most schools. Have you been through the process? I'm going to go through the process next yr for 2 kids at once..one for HS and one for K (diff. sex this time). I am not looking forward to that but will be very organized
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:03 AM FlagAssume the poster was being a little facetious and meant that she doesn't feel that she could have done it well and taken care of DCs on top if she was also working at a job. Of course, the insecure people will assume she means that THEY did a crappy job of either childcare or school app process if they also WOH. SAH simply can't win. They are accused of being lazy if they like being at home w DC and unfit to SAH if they complain about how hard it can be.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:09 AM FlagEh, I've heard people with FT jobs say this. It's an exaggeration, of course.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:50 AM FlagOP: I am specifically specifically about a poster who was advising another SAHM about the school process. She told her to hire a consultant because the process is so arduous and time consuming. I'm at a loss. I've been through the process three times and I'm about to go through it again. It makes the fall a bit more busy, but it's no where near a full time job.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:53 AM FlagMe, too. I've heard people with demanding (mom who is MD at bulge bracket ibank, for example) say this. They are exaggerating, but I think the point is that running around to these appointments (if you apply to 10 schools, at 3 visits each, that is 36 mornings out of the office in a 3 month period, so you are potentially out about 50% of the mornings) plus getting and completing application and essay, researching school, getting rec letters/school report etc is a lot of physical time and mental energy.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:57 AM FlagThis is why 10 schools is too many. A reach, a safety, and two or three in the middle.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:28 AM Flag10 is not too many if you really want private. Lots of people get SO - even the connected ones. There is a lot of competition. You do what you have to do if you work FT and have to go through the process with this many schools in the mix. You need to be super organized and you need to realize that you can't do everything. Personal stuff takes a back seat until the process is over. Leaving work in the middle of the day means that the work needs to get done at some point- typically in the late evenings. I don't know of anyone who will admit to using a consultant. I suppose people do though....
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:40 AM Flag
[+] Should I be worried that my husband is suddenly freaking out about the condition of h... 40 replies
- at sleeves and collar; EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE). boxers: try sitting on your nuts all day in boxers that don't fit right. or ones that have a flap that opens in front so the head of your dick rubs your zipper. it's like having sex with a cheese grater. i freak out about this to my wife too, it makes me miserable. but it's not her job to get me new stuff. he sounds like a whiny punk bitch. maybe his mommy should buy him new underroos....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Should I be worried that my husband is suddenly freaking out about the condition of his undershirts and underwear? He lost it on me the other day and demanded I buy him new stuff. I think it's strange. The white undershirts have a some random stains, but nothing major and nothing gross. The underwear, he claims is stretched out. I asked him who is going to see it and he got so pissed. Cheating?
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 05:53 AM Flag ]Probably not. I think he would buy it himself if he were cheating. Has he lost weight and just needs new things? Join a new gym where his underwear has been seen? Look for other signs - does he mention a co-worker or any other women's name often, wants to be all of a sudden fit, vague about plans, etc... there are signs if it's that. For right now don't worry.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:58 AM Flagtell him to go buy his own fucking underwear? wtf, is he 3 yrs old?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:58 AM FlagI suspected my ex was cheating because he had brand new underwear and socks. Normally he wore his holly streached out underwear around me. Well, he was cheating.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:59 AM FlagIt would be pretty shitty for him to demand you buy him new underwear to impress his girlfriend. I think that if he were cheating, it's more likely that he would buy them himself.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:42 AM Flagfirst of all, if he has any stains on them, they are from his own body or his own behavior. second, he can buy his own.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:47 PM FlagDH here: if you work in and office and wear button-downs and slacks, you will ultimately freak out about shirts/boxers. stretched out t-shirts are the anti-christ (pulling and tugging at sleeves and collar; EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE). boxers: try sitting on your nuts all day in boxers that don't fit right. or ones that have a flap that opens in front so the head of your dick rubs your zipper. it's like having sex with a cheese grater. i freak out about this to my wife too, it makes me miserable. but it's not her job to get me new stuff. he sounds like a whiny punk bitch. maybe his mommy should buy him new underroos.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:56 PM FlagAnother DH here. Never had the dickhead/zipper problem because I wear bikini briefs that don't have an opening. But when I get a woody it does pop out down my leg hole, so I guess it's a similar problem. Here's a problem I've not seen other guys have -- lots of precum leaking right through to my suit pants, leaving an embarrassing dark wet spot. Sometimes I have to stick a hanky or kleenex in there to keep things dry. Anyone else have this problem?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:19 PM Flag-
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Really? So you get several erections during the course of the business day?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:37 PM FlagYep. At least once a day I have to "take care of business", otherwise I'd be too damn distracted.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:49 PM FlagAnother DH and I'm the same way. I often wonder if we're in the majority or not.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:02 PM FlagI think we are. I see a lot of spent spunk on the floor and seats in the men's room at work. I need to jerk it usually mid-afternoon if I expect to get any work done.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:06 PM FlagI'm the "leaker" DH. I can't speak for other guys, but I'm pretty horny in general. But the workplace can be a particularly sexualized setting, without people realizing it. Guys in particular get off on power, and there's certainly no lack of that power play stuff at work. I'm also bi, so I'm easily attracted to both women and men. (OK, I'm a closet case -- who am I kidding.)
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:28 PM Flag
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[+] Awkward Wedding Reception Speeches? Post yours here: 50 replies
- You sound like quite the class act yourself. Is there something wrong with marrying a cleaning woman? Judging someone for having sex prior to marriage? WTF?...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Awkward Wedding Reception Speeches? Post yours here:
50 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 05:31 AM Flag ]FIL: Said how DH is so quiet and shy (he's not a big talker, but FIL made him sound like a child) and then called me "the enforcer" as if I was running the show. Really embarrassed me. I hate when people assume I'm bossing dh around because he's generally a laid back guy. Couldn't be more wrong.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:35 AM FlagI know of a wedding where the best man made some leering comments about the bride in the speech, then they all got roaring drunk and the BRIDE ended up making out with the BEST MAN in the parking lot of the reception!
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:35 AM Flag-
MOH made speech and handed out a poem about bride keeping not losing her identity to a stronger personality type in the marriage. It was way wierd.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:49 AM FlagBride's father made a terrible toast, saying that it was pretty hard to give up his daughter to "a guy like Joe." It went on and on. Basically he hated the groom--part race-based, part this guy would never think anyone was good enough for his princess. DH and I are friends from college with the groom, who is a great guy, and it was pretty painful to watch. Were sitting with his other friends and everyone was pissed.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:16 AM Flag-
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I've got two: (1) Groom talked about how little he wanted to get married to bride, and mimed trying to get the ring off his hand. I was wincing with pain for the bride. (2) My classless lout of a BIL, as best man, got up and said, in place of the usual speech: "Okay X and Y, Get going--I want lots of nieces and nephews. " That was it. Of course, he got married to a cleaning woman who was pregnant in the back yard.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:15 AM FlagRambling off the cuff best man speech in which references were made to drinking games, groom exposing himself publicly, nearly starting a fight on one occasion when they were younger, etc. Groom laughed a lot and loved it, but his father was pacing and most of the crowd didn't know what to make of it.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:28 PM Flagnot a speech, but bride and groom got so drunk before their 10 a.m. wedding that they were fighting in the church before the wedding had started, but guests had arrived and all heard - how pathetic he was and that she had to buy her own ring - yep, made for an interesting day
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:09 PM FlagNot an awkward speech moment but a REALLY REALLY REALLY awkward reception moment: I was the best man for my buddy's wedding, and he'd asked me to save him a couple bottles of wine from the reception. I snagged a pair and took them out to his truck and got the shock of my life when I opened the door on him 69-ing his new dad-in-law. That was 10 years ago. Never said a word. They're still married. Everyone acts like nothing happened. I'm still haunted by that image. I wish I could wash my brain.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:24 PM Flag
[+] Got married 8 years ago. My closest gf stood up at our reception and I think genuinel... 24 replies
- DH and I still joke about the "best man" whose wedding speech was about how the groom would bang the ugly ones so he could have the hot ones; and how they viewed women as nothing more than sex objects at their disposal. Of course he said it in rhyme. Everyone gasped....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Got married 8 years ago. My closest gf stood up at our reception and I think genuinely tried to say something nice but ended up really embarrassing me, to the point where I can't watch her speech on the video. I feel ridiculous that I'm not "over it," but it colors how I think of her now. Any advice? No snark please, thanks.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 05:19 AM Flag ]You really have to tell us what she said so we can all form an informed response ;)
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:22 AM FlagOP It was along the lines of how "you watch your friend go through different relationships, and sometimes they get hurt, and sometimes it ain't pretty
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:24 AM Flag^^It was strange because in our friendship I had broken up with several bfs, not the other way around, and in front of everyone she made it sound like I was constantly getting hurt and was all effed up. Not a flattering portrait, nor an accurate one.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:25 AM Flagnp: i can understand why that seemed inappropriate. that's more of a bachelorette party sentiment. however, she probably was expressing her happiness that you found your dh. If she has been a good friend since, it is time to let it go. Did you ever talk about it with her?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:30 AM FlagOP No, because she can't do anything to change it now, really.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:32 AM FlagDH and I still joke about the "best man" whose wedding speech was about how the groom would bang the ugly ones so he could have the hot ones; and how they viewed women as nothing more than sex objects at their disposal. Of course he said it in rhyme. Everyone gasped.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:54 AM Flag
Well.. not being snarky, but why don't you give the video a rest. It's rubbing salt in the wound. How has she been since? Eight years is a long time to carry resentment. Maybe you need a gno?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:25 AM FlagI think there is more to this than just a speech. Ppl say awkward things all the time, but if she was your very close friend you would be long over it. Could there be other issues here?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:28 AM FlagOP Hmmm. I don't know, really. What bothers me is that she thought (thinks) of me that way, and that she publicly represented me that way. Is that what you mean by other issues? Not trying to be dense.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:31 AM Flagthe general formula for a wedding speech is start w/ a funny, not inside joke, tell two vignettes that are charming and point out the person's strengths, one that is charming but points out a quirk, wrap that into a heartwarming story about the couple and how together, the flaw is erased, end w/ story that ties back to opening joke. if her story was part of your quirk and ended up saying how amazing your dh is, she did the right thing and youare enormously oversensitive.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:33 AM FlagOP OK, thanks all. Upon further reflection, I can say I was also bothered because she didn't really say anything at all about me -- why I'm a good friend, my strengths or accomplishments, anything. Yet she went on and on about how great my dh is. I didn't ever feel she was hitting on him, just that I was overlooked I guess. DH's brother had already given a great toast, so I was hopeful someone would "represent
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:38 AM Flag
Well if it really, really bothers you then get it re-edited.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:35 AM FlagI have seen this kind of thing happen at a couple of weddings, and it happened at mine (in my case, the speech involved a LOT of profanity, as in the F-word). Luckily we did not do video at our wedding! I say, let it go. People are nervous, they have had a few drinks, she probably did not really think through what she was going to say and I doubt it was a true reflection of what she thinks about you. Also, your daughter will probably not notice or care, and I really doubt she will be interested in watching the video more than once or twice.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:23 AM Flag
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