Your search for "HHI" returned the following 23542 results:
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[+] Semi repost - If you made 2/3 of HHI, but were unhappy with your job, would you switc... 3 replies
Talk : : April 20, 2012
Semi repost - If you made 2/3 of HHI, but were unhappy with your job, would you switch to a new career that would require cutting out DC's great extracurriculars/supplementing and things like vacations, but would give you a little more time with them (school aged, very independent DC)?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.20.12, 08:25 PM Flag ]
[+] Frisky Friday night post! Average HHI over past 5 years... AND how many people in yo... 14 replies
Talk : : April 20, 2012
Frisky Friday night post! Average HHI over past 5 years... AND how many people in your life have you slept with, and any same sex. I'll go with $500k, 10ish, no (but wanted to at least once or twice).
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.20.12, 07:34 PM Flag ]
[+] What makes you jealous? 46 replies
- Seeing people on Urbanbaby say we have 7mil HHI or whatnot. And then flaunting all their wealth and acting like they hae it so much together and needing like a pat on the back for their good fortune. I like the people who are do gooders, but the greedy people...
Talk : : April 20, 2012
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People who aren't stressed and just enjoy life; great dancers; size 2s with no effort; people who get pregnant easily; great public speakers
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 04:29 PM FlagPeople who still have their parents (but only the ones who have great relationships). Mine have passed away and it stinks.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 04:31 PM Flag-
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People born into rich families. Let's face it,they won the lottery of life.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 04:38 PM Flag
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People who have maternity leaves that last longer than 3 months.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 05:06 PM FlagWhen I'm walking down the street with my (very good looking) DH and hot women eye-fuck him.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 06:00 PM FlagSeeing people on Urbanbaby say we have 7mil HHI or whatnot. And then flaunting all their wealth and acting like they hae it so much together and needing like a pat on the back for their good fortune. I like the people who are do gooders, but the greedy people who would walk by on the street, see a starving person and step over them, yes I am jealous because those people could do so much good in the world and yet they don't. They just want more more more, gimme gimme gimme and nothing is ever good enough for them.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 08:40 PM Flag
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[+] i live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the country. the average home p... 7 replies
- ^^ that's HHI $373K....
Talk : : April 20, 2012
i live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the country. the average home prices are $1.6MM. but damnnnnn. a real estate agent is telling me the houses aren't selling (though picking up again) because people can't afford the down payment. that's like $320K, right? people who have median (not even average) HHI don't save one year's salary? holy cow. people are spendthrift.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.20.12, 01:59 PM Flag ]an average house price of 1.66 mm cannot put in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the country -----not even close --
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 02:02 PM Flagreally? i lived in greenwich last and the average price there was $2MM. what avg price do you think puts a city as one of the most expensive.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 02:05 PM Flag^^ also, it is in the 20 most expensive cities with population of over 1000 in the country (don't wan to count baker, MO population 5).
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 02:08 PM FlagYeah, I don't think 1.6mm is one of the most expensive neighborhoods. Otherwise I'd believe the part about down payments, because banks aren't willing to give mortgages anymore, particularly jumbo, based on anything other than liquid cash. We are worth 7MM on paper but could not recently refinance for just $1.2 until we pumped in some serious cash up front. The bottom line has changed drastically.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 02:50 PM Flag
I live in a town that for a house you'd want to raise a family in, unremodeled, you're looking at starter $800k, and the sky is the limit. And I am the only person I know who moved in the later 2000s who put down $300k or more. People talk an awfully good game but tend to be cash poor when it comes right down to it.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 04:52 PM Flag
[+] Hedge Fund mom here...talk to me. 75 replies
- HHI?...
- Husband's job, HHI, what bag you carry, vacation planned?...
Talk : : April 20, 2012
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Where do your children go to school and how did they get in?
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 12:01 PM Flag-
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Goldman Sachs, the evil empire or smartest gals in the room?
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 12:59 PM Flag-
Ummm, why because you think you have it made? Pretty sure I earn more than you and I make my own hours because it's my company...oh, and I actually create jobs.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 02:45 PM FlagWhen you were a little kid, did you say, "I want to be a professional gambler when I grow up. And I want to bet on betting, not on anything real. Maybe even screw up the economy along the way"?
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 03:08 PM FlagHF3 here (now on to related things in the past couple of years). I wouldn't be so quick to assume that either OP or HF2 are killing it - the industry honestly is a lot like the one Gladwell piece about why drug dealers live with their moms - extraordinary gains at the very top, and better than average but not bazillions for everyone else. And that's in the front office only. Besides, if you have a political agenda, ask it politely.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 04:33 PM Flag
[+] How little do you have to be making for private schools to consider you for financial... 12 replies
- some posters that it's an all or nothing proposition. obviously the only kids who get full tuition have super low hhi, but fa awards run the gamut in amount, and for many of us, even $5k could make a difference. absolutely...
- Someone with HHI less than you (kid had excellent ERBs) got rejects from all schools where they asked for FA and accepts from schools...
Talk : : April 20, 2012
How little do you have to be making for private schools to consider you for financial aid? HHI: 200 - 250 K. Two kids, two years apart. Assuming best case scenario they have what it takes to get in (ERB, whatever), do we have a chance of getting any aid or do we make too much money for most private schools to even consider it?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.20.12, 10:46 AM Flag ]you may get some. i don't agree with some posters that it's an all or nothing proposition. obviously the only kids who get full tuition have super low hhi, but fa awards run the gamut in amount, and for many of us, even $5k could make a difference. absolutely apply, but also recognize that most schools admissions are NOT need blind, so your need for FA will weigh into the admission decision, making it tougher for you.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.12, 10:55 AM Flag
[+] Private Schools in NYC - only for top 1%? What is your HHI? 19 replies
- Our HHI is $750K. I am a SAHM (practiced law for 8 years previously and planning to go back to work when youngest DD is 2. We...hubby does not believe in wasting money on private schools & would rather fund their college funds. Our HHI is $750K and our net worth is $2M, yet we will send our kids to public school!...
- Our HHI is $400K and our dc's are in private. We don't feel NYC rich by any...
Talk : : April 19, 2012
Private Schools in NYC - only for top 1%? What is your HHI?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.19.12, 12:48 PM Flag ]Our HHI is $750K. I am a SAHM (practiced law for 8 years previously and planning to go back to work when youngest DD is 2. We have 2 DD ages 3 and 1. We live downtown in TriBeCa in a 2.8M condo. Hubby does not be live in waiting money on private schools & would rather fund our investments & our children's college funds. He thinks parents who spend $40K a year on private school educations are committing financial suicide & will end up spending close to$1million. BTW we are a mixed race couple (I am Black & hubby is white) it seems like most of the couples that live downtown are mixed...mostly Asian women & white men (sorry I digress) anyway, does anyone else think that private school is an imperative?
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 12:58 PM FlagNo, but is also isn't financial suicide. If you earning above a certain amount it comes down to choices of how you plan to use your money.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 01:05 PM FlagOur HHI is $400K and our dc's are in private. We don't feel NYC rich by any stretch. I know that must sound crazy to folks outside of the city but it's true. So no we're definitely not the 1%.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 01:14 PM FlagThat's not crazy at all. We don't feel rich by any stretch either! Back in 2007 hubby was making $1.5M & now he makes 50% of his salary. We bought our condo back when he was making more, so now inky making $750K may seem like alot, but based on our finances & budget we are by no means living a lavish lifestyle! We bugdet, don't have a housekeeper or dog walker & I am a SAMMY to 2 active children ages 1 and 3 with no help! We do have a nanny that comes for a couple hours once a week for our datenights. However, I do not feel like we are wealthy & I do wish we could send our kids to private school because I think that they will get a better education. Even though our public schools in TriBeCa are great, there are huge wait lists and there is no guarantee that we will get in! If our 4 yo DD does not get in, then we will have to send her to private school, but hubby says he would do so reluctantly! I had to beg and plead for him to send our 2 yo to preschool, since he also did not see the need for additional expense
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 01:25 PM FlagIf you really want to send your kids to private, why wouldn't you sell the condo, buy a perfectly reasonable $1.8mm place and take that $1mm and spend it on school. All about priorities. I couldnt' afford to send my DCs to private either if I paid that much for housing but I will be *okay* with just living in something <$2mm.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 02:58 PM Flag
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We bought out condo back in 2007 when my hubby had a huge bonus, plus combined with his salary, we made over $2.5M for the year. We put down $2M on the condo & have a mortgage for $800K. We have assets (investments, etc that total over $2M, close to $3M). I practiced law for 8 years before being a SAHM. Hubby has worked in finance since 1998 & although he made bonuses ranging from. $600K - $1M he always lived frugally and only lived on his base salary which was anywhere from $100k - $250K
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 02:19 PM Flag
[+] What's the most you'd spend on a cute top/blouse? Need to revamp my wardrobe (particu... 32 replies
- OP I make slightly less than 100k. HHI is about 275k. Found a $225 shirt I love but would love it even more if it went on sale. Rarely buy myself clothes anymore. I guess I could have bigger problems in my life, right?...
Talk : : April 19, 2012
What's the most you'd spend on a cute top/blouse? Need to revamp my wardrobe (particularly for work clothes) and it seems like I have very expensive taste beyond my means :(
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.19.12, 11:05 AM Flag ]-
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I have spent around $300 but to spend that much it has to be something very classic that I know will be a keeper. I won't buy something that is so trendy that I won't be able to wear it in a year.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:13 AM FlagNP here. how much $$ do you ladies make? bc I make 150K and I feel like 300 is a LOT of money to spend on a top. that said, I am by far the least nicely dressed of all my friends. So I think I underspend. I spend 100 max.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:13 AM FlagFrankly I make $350k and I don't think I've ever spent $300 on a blouse.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:22 AM FlagIf you know how to recognize good quality silk or wool, and you know what fits you, $300 is good. It also has to be a more classic cut, something that you can wear for years and years. I would never, ever spend $300 on something too trendy or synthetic!
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:32 AM Flag^^ but lately I've been finding good silk tops in Daffy's and C21 for less than $100, you have to have a good eye for the quality. bluefly.com is also a good site
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:34 AM Flagthat's interesting. maybe if you return a bunch of stuff to bluefly that didn't fit, etc you can order like 20 blouses and try them at home
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:36 AM Flagsure you can. there was even an article that online retailers don't mind this at all. for tops esp, shipping one or 20 is not that much different. as long as you buy one at some point. I am sure that if you do that 5 times in a row and don't buy anything they will not be happy.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 12:06 PM Flag
Where are you all finding nice looking quality tops for <$100? Seems like so much is made is crap (JCrew, Banana) quality these days. Online is helpful as I don't really have time/energy to hit actual stores.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 11:37 AM Flag
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[+] Any other people on here with HHIs of 110k or less? Does this board make you feel wo... 37 replies
- you seen the post by the women that have insane HHI?...
- I actually don't, not just about HHI but anything else. I've been called troll and...is jealous of you if that's your entire HHI...
- I went to an ivy, married an heir to a $30mm fortune, our HHI is nearly $2mm a year, my closet is bursting with H and LV...
- HHI 80K, this board doesn't make me feel like...
Talk : : April 18, 2012
Any other people on here with HHIs of 110k or less? Does this board make you feel worthless and lazy?
37 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 04:11 PM Flag ]I am actually finding that this board shames anyone with money. Big time.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:13 PM Flag-
I actually don't, not just about HHI but anything else. I've been called troll and fake. I find it really interesting that this is the one place I actually tell the truth, and yet when you do, no one believes you. This is a truly bizarre but fascinating place on the worldwide web net.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:18 PM Flagwhat are you talking about? I went to an ivy, full scholarship, no help, and now I make $250mm and you're all jealous.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:19 PM Flag
No, society doesn't reward you based on how much effort you exert.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:27 PM FlagSeriously-my DH is a musician and works his butt off. Makes 30K.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:30 PM Flagnp: This. We're in the arts. We make a living in the arts, earning about 80K together. That's an accomplishment. I went to an Ivy, did really well, could easily have gone to law school and made lots of money. It's the smugness of people who think they're "working harder" that bothers me. I also taught public school. That was way harder than the couple of years I spent working at a hedge fund to pay down my student loans. The contempt on here for people who care about something other than money is depressing and sad.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:36 PM FlagAgree. Mostly I feel sorry for the "rich" people because they don't seem happy.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:39 PM FlagMoney doesn't make people happy. It can quell a shit-ton of anxiety over whether you will have a roof over your head next month or pay your bills, but having it also creates huge opportunities for people with issues to find wasteful ways not to address them. Unhappy rich people. Unhappy poor people. But only one would prefer to be the other and at least get the chance to try to be happy given the opportunity.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:52 PM Flag
We are cash poor but unicorn rich. It's hard living on magic mushrooms and golden apples,but we manage.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:39 PM Flag-
Me. Nothing and no one will ever make me feel worthless and lazy. I am neither.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:47 PM Flag-
HHI 80K, this board doesn't make me feel like we're doing ok. Though my fear of divorce has gone through the roof.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 05:01 PM Flag
[+] UBers are f**king lying about their taxes. dh works on wall st, HHI is close to $1m a... 12 replies
Talk : : April 18, 2012
UBers are f**king lying about their taxes. dh works on wall st, HHI is close to $1m and we pay about 35% in taxes.....so I don't know where this 50% comes from unless you have accountants who lie to you!
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 03:46 PM Flag ]-
Either people don't understand progressive taxation or they are the lower earning spouse looking at their paycheck and seeing 50% withheld between healthcare, 401k and taxes because they have to claim negative dependents due to marriage "penalty" which does not mean their whoe income is taxed at 50%
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 03:51 PM FlagWe had income of $1.6 and change. I know we do maximum withholding. We got $20K back, though we owed our state several thousand.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:27 PM FlagFine, it's basically more like 45% but DH and I take home about 55% of our pay. Some is payroll taxes, some is city and state, and some is federal.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:50 PM Flag
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[+] We just did our taxes. I made 90% of HHI for the third year in a row. before that, DH... 15 replies
Talk : : April 18, 2012
We just did our taxes. I made 90% of HHI for the third year in a row. before that, DH was unemployed. Ugh. It's so frustrating. I am so resentful of him, I hate my job and it's killing me. But he isn't an aggressive go-getter, which you need to be in order to get jobs in NYC in this economy, and he just gets projects now and again. What can I do? This is killing our relationship. I am losing respect for him.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 03:40 PM Flag ]start with a change in attitude. if you're truly in it for the long haul, sometimes you'll be up, sometimes he will. just count your blessings. things could be far worse.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 03:41 PM Flag-
Np - I hear u - have made significantly more than dh for most of re marriage - he's a great guy but it's a tremendous turn off and I do resent him - it's hard on the marriage and certainly does not help our sex life. Don't listen to these feminists - it sucks a but would suck more if you had no earning potential - that's how I look at it. Hang in.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 03:45 PM Flag
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you can't make him earn more money. work on the part of the equation that you can control: hating your job. start looking for a situation that will be less misery-inducing for me.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 03:59 PM Flag
[+] Anderson mom with 2 kids there. Any questions? 49 replies
- How does it work with money donations? We were very fortunate that our DS scored 99 but with a HHI of 70K (family of 5) there is no way we can contribute with lots of money. Should we stay away from that school?...
Talk : : April 18, 2012
Anderson mom with 2 kids there. Any questions?
49 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 01:50 PM Flag ]-
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No. Older ds got 99. Younger got 98. Thank god for sibling pref.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:53 PM Flag-
life isn't fair (nor is prepping for your 99 which is how many of the "qualified" dcs earn theirs). how is a parent supposed to get more than one child to school simultaneously in different locations? sibling preference is what makes the world a more human place. plus, who is to say that a genuine 98 and a prepped or genuine 99 are all that different anyway? your 99 may just be a good standardized test taker but her 98 may in fact be more intelligent. don't put so much stock in the test.
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 08:27 AM Flag
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how do your kids find the school ie: is it a nurturing place?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:53 PM FlagHow do you feel when you talk to other parents of dc's who scored 99 several times (mine have both gotten 99 for k and for first grade entry) but still couldn't get in to a citywide?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:53 PM FlagIt really stinks for those families. Believe me, we know how fortunate we are!
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:56 PM FlagIt makes me feel better to know that people feel grateful rather than entitled. There are so many smart dcs out there who won't get lucky in the lottery!
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:59 PM Flagyou should feel entitled. you are paying for an appropriate education for your child with your tax dollars. the fact that you are not getting one just because your child is smart and not at risk is probably why this country's education system is falling behind the rest of the world (geared to the lowest common denominator and ignoring the needs of the more able)
[ Reply | More ]04.19.12, 08:29 AM Flag
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Such a waste of time talking about this school that almost NONE of us are going to get into. Can we talk about district G&Ts that people have a reasonable shot at intead?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 02:21 PM FlagDo a lot of students leave in sixth, leaving a lot of spots open for 7th for students willing to go to a school for only two years?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 02:31 PM Flag
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[+] Ugh. Parents have decided to cut me off, financially. My job pays less than $50k, I m... 29 replies
- At 26 I was married and HHI was $200k, half of which was mine. Plenty of time to build a career...
Talk : : April 18, 2012
Ugh. Parents have decided to cut me off, financially. My job pays less than $50k, I may have to move to brooklyn. How do people survive in this city with no help? Now I know what it's like to be poor.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 12:06 PM Flag ]-
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Brooklyn is a great place. Learn to live within your means. How much have your parents been giving you? Get a better job.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 12:11 PM FlagDo you have a "better job" for me? Performance artists aren't all millionaires, believe it or not.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 12:13 PM FlagThis makes me thing it's a fake - but if it's not, do what the rest of us creative types did when we realized we couldn't support ourselves or a family that way, marry rich or suck it up and take an entry level office job with room for growth. Why do you think half of the apartments on the UES/UWS have an unfinished novel in the desk drawer.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 12:26 PM Flag
You sound really pathetic. I had to make my own way from the time I was 18 and by your age I was make almost a million per year. You'll do better if you take responsibility for yourself.
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[+] Question: do any of you have parents in the 1%, but whose parents don't help you out... 78 replies
- My parents are in the 1%. They help my sister who has chosen to be a SAHM for 10 years (kids well into school full time years ago) so can't afford private, but nothing to us. Yes we have more HHI because I work, but the irony of it sucks....
Talk : : April 18, 2012
Question: do any of you have parents in the 1%, but whose parents don't help you out financially? (even though you are not in the 1%?) It seems like a lot of New Yorkers get subsidized by their parents for things like private school tuitions, vacation, etc.
78 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 08:11 AM Flag ]I have noticed this too. I would say that most people I know doing private school are getting some kind of help from their parents. My dad is wealthy but does not help us out at all. Thus, we cannot afford private.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:14 AM Flagyou can't afford private because you don't earn enough money.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:16 AM FlagWe earn enough money, but we aren't willing to put off savings for college and retirement to pay for private, is what I should have said.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:17 AM Flagfair enough. I objected to the phrasing because it sounded to me like you were saying it was your dad's responsibility with "he doesn't help us so we can't afford it."
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:19 AM FlagYes, I understand, I think my bitterness is coming through because my dad is a selfish prick who indulges himself in every way imaginable and gives his grandchildren nothing. Is he responsible? Technically, no. But sometimes I am jealous of people who have the extra boost from parents who can easily afford it.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:22 AM Flagnp: wow, you could be me. i'm in exactly the same situation.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:24 AM FlagIt is frustrating, right? My DH and I work and earn enough, we do not want for anything nor do our kids. It's just that it would be so easy for him to help. I don't even want it for myself at all--I am not asking for cash to buy luxuries or anything like that--I set up college funds for the kids and he won't even contribute to those.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:32 AM Flagit would be one thing if my dad & his 3rd wife didn't live so lavishly and show it off to everyone, including their kids, while we all struggle to make ends meet in this insane city. but to watch him live in his penthouse, visit him and have to endure his judgements on my life and dd while he does nothing to help alleviate our struggles, is painful. he has never once gotten my 4yo dd a gift, not even a little $3 tchatchke. but he expects her to adore him and visit him a lot.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:40 AM Flag
OP: I agree on that score-- and to the poster below, "annoyed" is probably better than "torn" because, as OR notes, ppl who don't have the need often get the boost anyway. And I don't like the endless stream of complaints about my small apt, etc. when with just a slight boost-- not like $1M or anything-- we could get a bigger place that would shut them up.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:26 AM FlagBut it's their money! After a certain age they don't owe you anything. In fact, it's probably to your advantage that you learn to take care of yourself and not depend on your family. My stepsister was a straight A student and had bright prosprects for medical school but when her mom struck it big in business she gave up her dreams and just sort of did her own hobbes, waiting for her mom to cut her a check. It's really sad how she morphed into a leech, after being such a serious student. I do have my issues with money, but the issues I have with it are how people judge and treat people differently for having it, or for not having it. I detest, cannot stand, when people use others for money, or let it cloud their judgement of that person's heart. I know we have our racial issues, and or gay rights issues, but I bet in the future, with how corporations are keeping the profits to themsleves and refusing to share more with the people... the whole system of money as we know it today will be regarded as barbaric. I mean just because corporate CEO's can make money doesn't mean that they are entitles to it. It will be a better way of thinking about money and honestly, with all the nay sayers about communism, yeah I get it sucks, but when you see the corruption of capitalism too, what is the difference? There will be a different way and it will be just as revolutionary as MLK and abolition of Jim Crow laws, and womens rights to equality.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 12:13 PM Flag
OP: I find myself torn-- on the one hand, I understand and appreciate the idea that they want us to be self-sufficient. On the other hand, you can't take it with you-- and they always complain about the size of our apartment when they visit, etc. OR, what is your dad planning to do with his money?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:18 AM FlagBut it's THEIR money - they can do with it what they please. If you want more, earn it yourself.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:24 AM FlagOP: I agree. But then all I hear from them is the constant commentary on, "your apt is so small, life in NYC is so expensive, I can't believe preschool costs $15K." I don't have these gripes myself. But when I hear them complain constantly -- esp. given that DC could not get into our zoned universal public PK-- I think to myself, well, you could alleviate some of this claimed burden.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:29 AM Flaghe probably thinks it's your mistake living here and he doesn't want to indulge your decision. and giving $$ to support this lifestyle is crazy.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:36 AM FlagThis is not exactly fair though--I don't live in New York because its a luxury, I live here because this is where mine and DH's jobs are. It was the best place for us both to build our careers. I love NY but I would move away and scale down in a second. DH does not want to because he likes his job and does not have the same earning potential anywhere else.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:43 AM Flag
Not surprised. During in our parent's time they made lots of money because the ecconomy was so good. They had steady, lifelong jobs and pensions. The kids getting help don't have that luxury.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:16 AM FlagOMG my ILs are in the 1% and I would never dream of asking them for or accepting money for private school tuitions. We are all about public schools!
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:28 AM Flagoh, and while my ILs are generous (gifts for our DS, treat us to many dinners out with them, etc.), DH and I live in an apt. that's less than 600k we bought without help. Sure, they could have subsidized a down payment for a larger, nicer place, but that was not an option nor would I expect it.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:29 AM Flag
Mine were wealthy when I was growing up, but dad's business went bust when I was in my mid-20's. He chased a few too good to be true schemes thereafter to try to recoup and completely trashed his finances. Good thing I ignored him when he wanted me to go into the family business.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:36 AM FlagMy mother and stepfather are in the 1% and the most they do is pick up a lunch check if they are in town and I can get it together to see my mother. They send no gifts, cards for birthdays, holidays. My kids haven't seen them in about 6 years. We had a falling out years ago and my mother has a memory like an elephant. Fortunately, don't need anything from them, don't expect anything.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:40 AM FlagNeither set of parents help us with current expenses (including private school tuition). My Mom jokes that she and Dad plan to take it with them - they are enjoying their retirement and my feeling is that they worked very hard their entire lives - if they want to spend this time cruising the Danube, that's their right. However, my Dad and my FIL are funding a 529 for DD - I appreciate it enormously and it helps in that we have less to worry about in terms of saving for college and can focus more on saving for retirement. It's their money - they can do whatever they want with it.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:44 AM Flag-
My parents are in the 1%. They help my sister who has chosen to be a SAHM for 10 years (kids well into school full time years ago) so can't afford private, but nothing to us. Yes we have more HHI because I work, but the irony of it sucks.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:51 AM Flag-
OR - Yes I'm so *lucky* to only see my DC 1.5hrs a day, while my sister does lord knows what all day while her kids are in school :) Pity her. Ugh! Oh and mom told me yesterday that they'd talked about helping us with private but we'd chosen to live where schools are just so expensive that it's nuts. Umm, I'd still take the 10-20k you'd give me if I lived somewhere where private was cheaper! I don't feel entitled to this and am only complaining jokingly, but it's the irony with my sister's situation (basically they enable her to stay home) that gets me.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:59 AM Flag
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no one in my family is in 1%, but it is ironic that my working-class grandparents helped my parents with our camps, classes, etc., but my professional-class parents have never helped us in the same way. they took my grandparents inheritance and spend it on themselves. oh well.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:54 AM Flagmy parents are in the 1%, but honestly it never occurred to me to ask for help.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 09:34 AM FlagMy parents are not in 1%, but still... if I needed money for food and housing, I know they would help. If I needed money for luxuries like private school, expensive UES apartment vs. more affordable areas, etc, I would never expect them to cover the bill or even accept. Same will go for my kids when they grow up. I will be able to help and will help if help is really needed. However, if they make choices to indulge in extras when there are more affordable and perfectly acceptable options, it's their choice and they got to work for it themselves.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:03 AM FlagI am OR and I agree with everyone on balance in that your parents made the money, they have a right to spend it as they please, etc. Also, I have never asked my parents for a dime. BUT, it is still galling to watch the over the top luxury a lifestyle where $700 is regularly dropped on lunch, airplanes are chartered for luxurious vacations, a full time driver, etc. and yet nothing is contributed to my kids college fund. Believe me, I don't expect it and I am in the process of saving to pay for my kids college myself.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:09 AM Flag
It is actually the other way around for us. We pay for things for my parents, trips, cars etc. They would never ask but we enjoy doing it they have worked so hard their whole life and tried to give us anything they could. They give my kids (and us) so much love and joy. We also have 529's for my nieces and nephews.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:15 AM FlagMy parents and my ils are well off, but we believe it is our obligation to take care of ourselves and our family. Both sides have been very generous with us, at their absolute discretion. We never ask for money and do not have any expectation that they do anything specific (i.e., underwrite private school, vacations, camp etc.). Although my parents fund a 529 for our child, as they do for each of their grandchildren. They do it annually and I would be 100% ok if at any time they stopped. I am much more into in kind help than financial help.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:29 AM FlagI do. Upside: when your parents do not help you, no one can ever say that you didn't 'get' whatever you have on your own steam. I sometimes wish that less of my parents' money was spent on things such as yachts and more was spent on things that we struggle to pay for such as private school tuition for two dcs, but it is our life, our responsibility and ultimately a source of pride no one can diminish.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:24 AM FlagI think that many grandparents who are very affluent help out for 2 big reasons: 1) estate planning and 2) bc you can't take it with you. For all those who say, we are happy to be self sufficient, my parents' money is theirs - you DO realize that one day there may be an inheritance and at that point, it will be too late to thank them and too late to help your kids with school or get you a more comfortable home, etc. but it may make you very wealthy in your retirement. Will YOU share it with your grandkids?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:27 AM FlagI'm the poster just above you. I see your point, but I think in many cases like mine (I have many friends similarly situated), if the help was offered in a generous, non-judgmental way, we'd be pleased. However, for their own reasons, our boomer parents would rather spend it on third homes/race cars/vacations/wine collections/art/jewelry or whatever else. We could either waste our time trying to persuade them to change their ways, or have pride in our own lives and just love our parents for themselves. FWIW, due to estate planning laws, the money will typically be passed down skipping a generation, with the result that my dcs will likely end up being wealthier than I am. (note that my parents inherited, but not wildly, from their own parents, but we will not).
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:36 AM Flag
They help us w maybe 1k a year, but that's it . They have a lot of $$ that's literally sitting in crummy accounts. It would be nice for some help. I don't get it, my fil is over 70. And spends nothing, we could really use the help for our kids. No college money for kids, nothing for activities , nothing! It is their money but they are not taking it w them, and their home is worth well over 1 mm
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:45 AM FlagNo. My parents are in the 1% and I'm an only. They've worked out what they need to live and are figuring out how to give it to me and dc before they pass to cut down on taxes. They do use it to try to control us but they're up front about it. They want DC in private school so they've offered to pay. We're trying for G&T but will accept the help if necessary. They wanted us to live near them but it was too expensive, so they offered money. We also want to live in Manhattan so we accepted.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 04:41 PM Flag
[+] yesterday my 13 yr old dd came home saying that the girls in her grade were calling h... 161 replies
- You know, this post reminds me of all the people who feel middle class with a HHI of $500,000. The reality of most middle class 13 year olds is that they are NOT sexually active -- most haven't really kissed someone of the opposite sex. But I'm sure there are some enclaves where lots of 13 year olds have...
Talk : : April 18, 2012
yesterday my 13 yr old dd came home saying that the girls in her grade were calling her a prude because she hasn't made out with a boy yet. she was telling me what some of the girls were doing and I was pretty shocked!!
161 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 07:15 AM Flag ]-
Have her watch "Little Darlings" to teach her that the vast majority of girls who call other girls a prude are very inexperienced themselves and she shouldn't believe them.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:18 AM Flag-
i know, like our dds are going to watch this movie from the "olden times."
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:26 AM FlagI feel sorry for your dds. I have a 13 year old ds (who definitely hasn't even kissed a girl), but also 13 year old nieces who are definitely not thinking about making out with boys. They are into sports, and arts, as are their friends. It's absurd to think all 13 year old girls are like this. Seriously, get your dd some new friends stat, if "ALL" of them are calling her a prude. Or change schools if you believe all the girls are making out with boys at 13. Seriously.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:31 AM Flag-
OP here: my dd is involved in extra curricular activities. She has lots of friends at school and no not all of them are calling her a prude. But, the peer pressure is still there...kids talk during lunch etc. about who they're "dating" and what they've done.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:35 AM Flag-
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If the majority of her friends aren't calling her a prude, you should point that out. There will ALWAYS be a few kids who claim to have done something to show off, but there's no reason your dc can't ignore if most of her friends aren't doing those kinds of things.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:41 AM Flagit's not showing off any more like it may have been in our day. it's not a taboo. they have sex like they go to the bathroom.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:43 AM Flag
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sounds like Brearley. I am sorry for those whore girls who believe at such a tender age that sexual favors are status symbols. Sounds like SAHM mom kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:23 AM Flag
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With outing the school, can you say where it is or what grades?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:18 AM Flag-
There was a guy in my 8th grade class who was trying to have sex with 100 girls by the end of high school. Freshman year there was a girl who said (aloud, while having an argument with a gf) at least "My butthole is still a virgin!" This was in an affluent suburb of Chicago...
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:21 AM FlagThis was early 90s, for what it is worth. I dread my kids' teen years.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:23 AM FlagUgh. This is so depressing. I think young girls need to be educated about STDs and that these guys are using them and laughing about them. So sad. I will educate my daughter. Particularly about anal. I really think that in the next ten years the health risks of anal will come to light. Farah Fawcett died of anal cancer caused by HPV from doing anal. I get it. You're shocked, but that's the truth.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:32 AM Flag
these are the girls you don't want your daughter to be friends with
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:21 AM FlagOP: I know, it's so hard...yes they are giving bjs and some are even having sex
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:25 AM Flagwhere do 13 yo do these things? the back alley? starbucks bathrooms?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:26 AM Flag-
school bathroom? where are the adults during these parties?
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:30 AM Flagnp: I know -- this sounds fake. I have a 13 year old dc, so know lots of 13 year olds, and they aren't having sex. Sometimes they have "boyfriends" that they see in school for about a week, then that boyfriend disappears. Very few kids pair up and make out like real couples.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:37 AM Flag
Not joking - playground play structure treehouses/forts, at parks and behind elementary schools on weekends and after school. They walk or get on their bikes. Woods. Closets. Bathrooms. Other rooms while parents aren't watching.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 09:06 AM Flag-
This is what's so sick. These girls are giving bjs because they're afraid to have sex. So the boys get everything. You know the boys are not servicing the girls in the same way. Sad.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:50 AM Flag-
It would at least make it more equal. Now, it's all about servicing the boys. The boys get their rocks off and the girls are treated like dirt. If the boys had to return the favor this wouldn't be happening all the time. You know that these 13 year old boys would never do it and the girls would be saved the trouble of acting like pier prostitutes.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:04 AM Flag
well my DD mentioned that one of her BFF's thought it was disgusting to let a boy go down on her --said giving BJ was different and ok as long as you spit and not swallow
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 09:42 AM Flag
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Parent of teens here. We are in one of the top five school districts in our state, and yes, some 13's have had sex, regular and oral. Usually it's the popular kids who are in that "crowd" who date and have co-ed parties, however there was an 8th grade girl who was running with a 17 yo boy from out of town, she had her baby freshman year. I'm sure 90% of 13s aren't doing anything, but you can't discount that some kids are indeed active at that age.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 09:02 AM Flag
tell your daughter to say to those girls "not everyone can be a ho like them"
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:25 AM FlagHoo boy. I dread this. It was hard enough in my day when the mean girls would point out your bad clothes or haircut, but now there's so much pressure to have sex at a young age. I'm trying to put myself in your position. I think it's great that you and your daughter have the kind of relationship where she can share this info with you. That's a good start! All you can do is reinforce her self-esteem.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:26 AM FlagThis does seem to be true --these BJ hookups are very prevalent after school on the UES and UWS.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:46 AM FlagUgh. So these girls who just a few years ago were playing with teddy bears are now like the hookers you see on the pier. So sad. No wonder men have no respect for women. This is where it starts. No wonder the self-esteem of girls is in the toilet. The patriarchy is alive and well.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:52 AM FlagNP: What the heck? Has it occurred to you that girls may like sex to? And that girls who like sex may have fine self-esteem? I would imagine one thing that ruins their self-esteem is hearing older women equate a natural desire for sex with prostitution. That kind of talk, to me, is being a slave to the patriarchy.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 09:46 AM FlagOK. You're not getting it! These girls aren't having sex. They are giving blow jobs to boys. It's not reciprocal. Geez. In fact, they're giving bjs because they think they're still virgins if they give bjs. You are so out of it.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:14 AM FlagAm I? Guess what? Most of them ARE doing reciprocal stuff. The boys finger the girls and go down on them. They rub each other. They make out. It's not a one-way thing. I'm sorry that sex is so gross to you and you don't know what the kids are doing... but the problem is yours, and not necessarily theirs (unless they are doing things they don't want to do).
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:18 AM Flag
I find your attitude significantly more repulsive than the idea of teens starting to explore their nascent sexuality with their peers. You are part of the problem by promoting the idea that hooking up with a classmate = hooker on the pier.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:57 AM Flag
You know, this post reminds me of all the people who feel middle class with a HHI of $500,000. The reality of most middle class 13 year olds is that they are NOT sexually active -- most haven't really kissed someone of the opposite sex. But I'm sure there are some enclaves where lots of 13 year olds have sex. But there are definitely many places where most 13 year olds don't.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:53 AM Flagin the 70s there were definitely 13-14 year old girls who were seriously involved sexually, I would be surprised if that weren't still true...that being said, there were also girls who didnt have any activity until college....this is the normal range... We know there are girls having babies at 14 and 15.. so the numbers do make sense... I would just tell your daughter there is plenty of time for this, there is no rush. You have a long time as an adult to date etc...
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 07:54 AM FlagThere was a speaker who worked at the DOE for decades. He says sexual activity is getting younger and younger and while some parents want to be nay sayers and say this is not the case, his studies show differently. He said it's time for a wake up call for all parents and all socioeconomic ranges. Fewer kids are supervised after school and kids find ways of getting hooked up. It's important to talk and talk and talk with your kids about values and make sure they are occupied with other pursuits.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:04 AM FlagI absolutely believe this. While lots of kids were unsupervised after school even when I was growing up in the 1970s, we were very naive compared to kids today. Finding Dad's hidden Playboy magazine stash was a very big deal, indeed! Now, kids have access to everything online. The best thing that OP can do is keep the lines of communication open and talk to her daughter about why it's important not to succumb to peer pressure.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:09 AM FlagI have to admit, my first sexual encounter was in 5th grade. And we didn't quite know what sex was, but we did want the love/romance aspect of it. I thought a condom was a giant rubber speedo that men wore so they could still fool around without the penis getting in the way. Anyway, that was the 80's. And I know girls on my block who started their sex stories, yes, all at about 5th grade was where it really took off and was finally done in high school. So, i'm not shocked, because I did it myself, but it's just disgusting to think about kids, because they're kids. People in 5th grde to me were peers not kids, so idk I can certainly see why parents don't want to talk to their kids about it.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:23 PM Flag
DH here: this sucks. The baby boomers got free love; my generation got the Aids scare; this generation of 13 y.o. boys gets routine BJs. I want my money back!!!
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 08:56 AM FlagLet me guess. You don't have daughters. The girl who is giving your son a bj is someone's daughter. Her self esteem will be messed up and then she'll be a neurotic woman.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:16 AM Flagwell, what about the boy? maybe is cute but naive and feels put upon by aggressive girls? he may not even want a bj.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 10:24 AM Flag-
NP: so melodramatic. I did that in HS and had and have a very defined sense of self and never became neurotic. It's pretty normal, actually. I'm not sure why you think girls are such fragile, pathetic creatures that messing around in high school will scar them for life.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:07 AM Flagwas it a boyfriend or a random hook-up? i think this thread is more about random hooking up than sex in teen relationships.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:13 AM FlagMostly random hookups, but I started at more like 15. Didn't have sex until 17 or 18 though (senior year at some point). I just didn't/don't think it's that big a deal. Obviously there are some girls and boys who are troubled in some way and use the sexual dynamic as an outlet, but most teens do it for much more benign reasons (hormones, fun).
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:25 AM FlagSerious question. What happened on the random hookups? Did you give a bj? Did you feel like you were still a virgin because it was in a different orifice? Just trying to figure out your reasoning. Alot of "religious" girls will do this because they still want to be "virgins".
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:51 AM Flag
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Call me crazy but I set the example in my own behavior every day. Me and DH might argue sometimes in front of the kids but at least they know mommy is not bulldozed. I dress modestly, I behave with decorum and I expect the same of my children. My daughter will not be allowed to dress in a suggestive manner, even if I have to spend more $$ to buy her clothes that are flattering but not seductive.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 11:27 AM Flag
Didn't read all the responses but I'm not shocked. I had sex at 13 and most of my close friends started having sex then,too. At the time I had a boyfriend (who I ended up dating for four years) and thought I was mature and in a healthy relationship. Some of my friends had healthy relationships and several were in bad relationships and ended up having abortions at an early age.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:22 PM FlagI'd recommend that you really let your kids be honest with you instead of assuming they aren't having sex. I couldn't be honest with my parents but my boyfriend's mom took me to Planned Parenthood and helped me to get birth control pills. My boyfriend had to come along and we were counselled so that was her way of making him responsible. I was generally a good kid- top of my class, straight A's, etc. But I was bored and horny and in love.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:24 PM FlagMe again. We found all kinds of places to have sex. My house, before my parents came home from work, sneaking out, in the hallways after school. You'd be surprised how resourceful you can be. As a parent and adult now, I cringe to think about 13 year olds having sex but it's reality and has been for some time. Better to deal with it instead of being in denial (but delaying it would obviously be better).
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:26 PM Flag
Oh good, another "Girls Are Sluts and I Know All About It" thread. Can't get enough of those.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:24 PM Flag-
When you are a 13 year old boy, sex does not take very long, and foreplay is the girl looking at you. Honestly 2 minutes and you could be pulling up your pants and going to class. I am sure that many girls appreciate a 2 minute bj over a 20 minute bj.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 01:42 PM FlagI have a 13 yr old son in7th grade at a top tier coed school ( why I feel I have to add the info in the school is because people will ask where he goes, it's not a VBA). He goes to sports after school, comes straight home. We still have a nanny for this exact reason (to all those who gripe on here why I spend money on a nanny for a 13 yr old ). He spends the rest of the night on studying, eating dinner and taking a shower. Bed by 10 at the latest. On weekends he is with us or at the absurdly heinous bat/ bar mitzvah circuit ( don't get me started on that ). He tells me that a couple of his friends have GF. ^he and I taljabout sex and self respect a lot. I really think a few fast kids are causing all the uproar. I also think all bets are off by 9th grade. I also think some schools are much faster than other schools and parents should take them into consideration when they decide where to send their kids. In my humble opinion, coed schools with a serious academic bent are the "safest" for the majority of the 13 yr olds if you are paranoid about drugs and sex at too young an age. Ok feel free to beat me like a dog now. Give me your best shot.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 05:34 PM Flag
[+] Ok ladies, please help. Currently living in South Florida 3000sqft house with pool, ... 23 replies
- What is the change in HHI going from Florida to NYC? Do you want to live in NYC?...
- np: To show you the other side, OP, that is our HHI, live in Manhattan (15 min. walk to work), own a spacious 3 bedroom, good public schools, can't think of a thing we have sacrificed. Vacations, etc. Still...
Talk : : April 18, 2012
Ok ladies, please help. Currently living in South Florida 3000sqft house with pool, kids are in a great school. DH just received a job offer in NYC...hhi 300K. Would you move? Btw, have family both in Florida and NYC.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.18.12, 06:15 AM Flag ]What's important to you? For me, having space and a yard and good schools was more important, so we left NYC. You would absolutely be downsizing if you moved, and you probably wouldn't live in Manhattan, so DH would have a commute. Would this job offer advance DH's career? Would you have to live in NYC forever, or just a few years? I would not move if you are happy, absent a really compelling reason to do so.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:17 AM Flaghow many kids do you have? at 300k private mot going to be option if you want to live in manhattan
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:17 AM Flagwith income of 300K in NYC can probably only afford 2 bedroom apt thats 1200 sq ft in manhattan, but of course, if you have lots of cash for downpymt could afford more. This appt might be $4,500 to rent or about $1.1M to buy. Would need public schools and many are great! We go to one and have similar income. Many have higher income so you should feel in the middle.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:22 AM FlagOP here: I'm actually from the city so I know I'd definitely be downsizing, but to be honest I miss living in NYC. Yes, this would actually advance his career.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:24 AM FlagIf you like Florida, stay put. Sadly, 300k won't get you very far in NYC. If everyone having a bedroom is important to you, you will spend an inordinate amount of your take home on housing and you will still feel cramped compared to FL and you will need to be in an expensive area to have good public schools bc private will not be realistic on your income. On the other hand, if this is one of those jobs that will really open doors and allow you to go back to FL in 3-5 years far better positioned, it might be worth sucking it up for the greater good. [not saying people can't live on 300 in NYC but they have to really want to be here and be OK with all of the sacrifices or think of it as very short term]
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:25 AM FlagI wouldn't. I'm from FL and jealous of your house with the pool. Life is easy down there. 300k in NYC with 2 kids certainly won't feel like $$$ and if he happens to lose that job you're in a much higher COL region. Unless he's making <$100k right now, your quality of living at least financially speaking would decline.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:31 AM FlagI say stay, but need more info. NYC is a tough place to live and your life will be nowhere near as comfortable on $300K as it is now. You may miss NYC, but you've got to think of your kids and their stability. NYC will be a huge change for them. As to public schools, there is no guarantee in the city. More of a guarantee in the suburbs.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:36 AM FlagAnother South FL mom here: No way! I was offered MORE money to work in FL than NYC, so it was a no brainer for me so many years ago. Since then, I have lived all over the world, but I returned after I made my money. I would not move to NYC again for all the tea in China. No way. It's a hard life. You need to decide why you're considering doing this. If it's a stepping stone to a better future and you have a set time to get the hell out of Dodge, then maybe, but I wouldn't.
[ Reply | More ]04.18.12, 06:40 AM Flag
[+] how low does HHI need to be to get financial aid for private school (K on)? 12 replies
Talk : : April 17, 2012
how low does HHI need to be to get financial aid for private school (K on)?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.17.12, 03:57 PM Flag ]Financial aid is based on income and assets. (Retirement funds are not usually considered assets.) Generally speaking, a family with one child needs to have an income under 200K to be considered for financial aid from a NYC day school (usually with both parents working unless a very young child at home). You can look at PFS (Parent Financial statement) section of School and Student Services on the NAIS (National Association of Independent Schools) website. My understanding is that Grace charges 1K tuition per child for families with under 75k income. Manhattan Country school has a sliding scale tuition.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 04:40 PM Flagwhat about rent? I have no significant assets but a reasonable deal on a tiny apartment. Can I never move if I receive FA?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 04:44 PM FlagObligations are considered. We had a great rent deal on a tiny apartment for years, and I contributed more for tuition. When we moved (needed more space), I contributed less for tuition. Schools don't want to support a cushy lifestyle, but they understand NYC housing costs. You might want talk to FA person at school before moving if you have questions.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 04:48 PM Flag
[+] Spinoff: Why is hhi of 93k considered poor on this board? Or is that the case every... 21 replies
- you're right, but that posters' irresponsibility doesn't change how decent a hhi of $93k is....
Talk : : April 17, 2012
Spinoff: Why is hhi of 93k considered poor on this board? Or is that the case everywhere?
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.17.12, 02:20 PM Flag ]NYC Ub-ers think you must make at least 250K to survive much less have a decent life (we're doing it on 130K--both parents working ft--it's fine!)
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 02:31 PM Flag2 people working to bring in that kind of income is not exactly doing well. But that wasn't the point of the post. It was her bragging that she deducted 1/3 of her gross salary in mortgage interest, PMI and property taxes so her tax rate was a whopping 4%. Barely scraping by after all is said and done.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 02:41 PM Flagactually, it's doing just fine in America- maybe not yours, but the America most Americans live in thinks $93k is doing pretty well. Classist.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 02:57 PM FlagI think most families that are earning $93K are not buying $650K houses....
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 02:59 PM Flagher house was $650k? Hey, if she can swing it, but er, that's a lot of rice and beans to eat for a long time...
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 03:01 PM FlagExactly. If you want to use the analogy that most of America thinks that $93K is a good income, you also have to look at the cost of housing for that "most of America" that you are judging. It's the relative income versus expense and OP's housing costs are totally out of whack with her income. One layoff, big expense or illness and it's all over. How do you save when you have no money left over after the mortgage is paid?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 03:04 PM Flag
[+] Wow, our HHI income is 93,000 and I just deducted $32,000 in mortgage interest, prope... 115 replies
- that's alot of house for that HHI no?...
- Your HHI is 93 and he only paid 12k in child support?...
- How do you make it work? Our HHI is 3x yours and we feel that our housing costs...
- My HHI is 4x yours and I don't pay that much...means - you'd buy something that was within your HHI...
Talk : : April 17, 2012
Wow, our HHI income is 93,000 and I just deducted $32,000 in mortgage interest, property tax, and PMI from my taxable income.
115 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.17.12, 11:48 AM Flag ]-
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^^^ and DH paid 12,000 in child support, too. Yet we're doing OK.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:52 AM Flag-
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again, thanks for the kind wishes. we are trying to refinance but, of course, bank will not refi the people who need it most.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:56 AM FlagHahahahahaha! Let's see. You pay PMI because you couldn't come up with 20% downpayment. Your mortgage is how much exactly? You will crash and burn sooner rather than later.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:58 AM Flag-
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We have never missed a mortgage payment. We accustomed ourselves to making big sacrifices for the house. How do you imagine that truly poor people, lucky if they're making 10/hour, pay rent in this city, and what percentage of their income goes toward housing, do you think?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:03 PM Flag
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The bank will not refi you because you don't qualify for the loan under their current (more sane) lending standards and you don't qualify for the good rates because you're a higher risk than someone with money who could withstand a year or more of job loss or who has substantial equity in their home. The real world doesn't work on perceived need.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:07 PM Flag
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You are leveraged to the hilt. Hope you can eat your house when you can't afford it any longer.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:49 AM FlagMy heart is breaking ---your poverty level probably means you will need significant FA to send your DC's to the right schools..good luck
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:56 AM Flag-
Why is it the rich get criticized for their low effective tax rates (which sure as heck wasn't the case for me, near 50%), while someone who makes still close to 100k gets to pay so little simply because they have a way-too-big mortgage?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:57 AM FlagSomeone explain to me why they don't teach basic financial management in school?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:58 AM Flagnp: It's someone else's fault that they'd loan that kind of money to 2 people barely making a living.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:59 AM Flag-
I should have added a wink. It's always the bank's fault, don't you know. ;)
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:01 PM FlagYes! I forgot - also they should - of course- be able to re-fi because they're the ones who need it the most! LMAO - what a crock.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:04 PM FlagOK, so now it's not in the country's best interest for people to be able to stay in their homes? Because foreclosures are Soooo good for communities, right?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:07 PM FlagArtificially propping up housing markets is not good. Makes the homes less affordable to first time buyers.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:16 PM FlagPeople shouldn't buy things they can't afford and they should stand up and take some f-ing personal responsibility for themselves instead of whining like a poor victim. Foreclosures are a standard part of the housing market.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 01:01 PM Flag
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It's the bank's decision to give the money away. So, yes, it is the bank's fault. If you give it to anybody who asks you are pretty stupid, right?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:30 PM Flag
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And this is why the mortgage interest deduction needs to DIE!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:09 PM Flagmake sure you drop the PMI as soon as you can!!! You have to call and do it.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:09 PM FlagHow do you make it work? Our HHI is 3x yours and we feel that our housing costs are too high but I think we pay less in interest. Is this an interest only loan? How do you find money for food, childcare, and all the rest?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:15 PM FlagOP, did you buy the house with this income? Or was it higher then?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:25 PM Flag-
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It almost sounded in the original thread like OP was bragging how low her effective taxes were.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:36 PM FlagI just read through it and I agree. The meanness is really gratuitous, even by UB standards. I think people should live within their means, of course. But it seems like OP is in fact scraping by, and besides, I can easily understand why someone would prioritize housing until it hurt in a ridiculously expensive housing market.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:37 PM Flagthe mortgage payment is about $2700, and I figure the deduction saves us at least $400 per month in taxes. So $2300. $400 goes to the principal every month, so as long as the house doesn't depreciate it's a kind of forced saving. That brings it down to $1900. I don't think we could rent for $1900, or certainly we wouldn't save all that much $ if we rented. Obviously, we are overly reliant on that mortgage interest deduction, which was pretty much the point of my post.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:49 PM FlagDo you realize that in most countries, there is no such thing as a mortgage deduction? And still, people continue to buy property.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:52 PM Flagyes, of course I realize. We would not have bought without the mortgage deduction because I realized the impact it would have on our relatively low income. Maybe it should be scrapped, but, if it were, it would certainly wreak havoc on middle-income people who struggle to pay their mortgage.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:57 PM Flag
PP - OP, I think that the meanness of these responses probably has to do with what the responders to for a living. I'd bet that most of them are in finance and are licking their chops at the idea that they can blame/demonize someone else for a problem that was clearly created by the finance industry. I'd collapse the post and move on. GL, it sounds like things are pretty tight.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 12:56 PM Flag-
Actually, I'm a civil servant and I don't think we should applaud OP for buying more than she could afford.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 01:26 PM FlagI don't get why everyone is saying she can't afford it. Obviously, if she is making the payments, she CAN afford it. Yet all these finance majors don't seem to get that. Yes, there is some risk involved, and things could go wrong -- but, of course, it's not like anyone in the financial industry would ever take that kind of risk...
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 03:46 PM FlagThat is such a short-sighted view. One needs a cushion of savings in life. OP is living on the edge of financial disaster. It's obvious. Let's see how much she has in savings. How much she contributes toward retirement (401(k) and beyond), college savings, emergency savings, etc. One unexpected expense and she's broke.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 06:32 PM Flag
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This is why our tax system sucks. I got hit with the AMT and wasn't able to deduct SHIT!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 04:38 PM FlagI thought mortgage interest (for purchases, not HELOC's) was deductible and the AMT didn't limit it. http://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/tax-tips/IRS-Tax-Return/Alternative-Minimum-Tax--Common-Questions/INF12072.html
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 05:01 PM FlagUs, too, and I am so pissed. Hit with a 12k bill we were not expecting and already pay through the nose.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 05:18 PM FlagAnd isn't nice when you get hit with the underpayment penalty. This is the Fed's way to get you to pay more up front, and why I now file estimated taxes. BTW, I claim 0 exemptions.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 05:24 PM FlagWe both take 0 exemptions, too, plus pay quarterlies. We're in a zone where we just get killed.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 05:28 PM Flag-
Poster above - I claim 0, married withhold at the higher single rate AND take an additional $1K out a month and I still owe!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 05:28 PM Flag
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[+] Have been a FT WOHM since my first was born 6 years ago. It was always hard to leave... 32 replies
- You are me, except I can't even dream of it with my 6 and 3 yo. I make 70% of the HHI, there's absolutely no way I can SAHM....
Talk : : April 17, 2012
Have been a FT WOHM since my first was born 6 years ago. It was always hard to leave her to go to work but has been much worse for me lately. I feel like i am missing out on so much. I just do not have the drive to be at work anymore. Is it crazy to think about being a SAHM now with a 6 yo and 3 yo???? Anyone do that? if so, what keeps you busy once all dc's are in school? It is definitely more work to tend ot dc's all day - I get that but just worried that I will not have outlets to keep me sharp and on top of things - I am already in a bit of a world of my own!
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.17.12, 08:24 AM Flag ]I'm not sure I'd stop working completely in your situation, you're almost to the age where they'll both be at school all day anyway ... could you find PT work in your field or another field before leaving your current job?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:26 AM FlagThis would be the best thing for me but cannot seem to find too much. Have not been actively looking but did reach out to a headhunter and she said she does not get much across her desk. I can probably go back to an old career and get PT work - will keep me on my toes and sharp but BORING! I guess worth it to be there for my dc's.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:30 AM FlagI work 2 part time jobs making peanuts. Both of my jobs are boring and have nothing to do with my field but I get to drop off my DC in the morning and pick her up after school. We spend our afternoons exploring the world and our nights telling stories and talking. I may not be as "sharp" but I have never been happier. I doubt you will every regret spending more time with your kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:34 AM Flag
I have similar age children and WOHM and I think about this all the time. They have become more and more fun to be with and I miss them. Many people have advised me to think ahead to the time when they are both in school--what would you do all day? And then even further ahead to when they are have activities/friends and are not spending much of their time with you. You might want your job to sustain you intellectually. On the other hand, I feel like I am missing all these great years. One thing i have done is cut back to a 4 day a week schedule so I can spend Fridays with them. I pack in all as much work as I can into off hours and 9-5 so I can have dinner with them most nights and put them to bed almost every night. I am right there with you, it is so hard.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:34 AM FlagThe nice thing is that I work close to home and do have some flexibility but also feel I am taking advantage a bit and at somepoint they will put the kabosh on that. Have been able to juggle a little but the holidays, school breaks and sick days are getting tough.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:36 AM FlagI know exactly what you mean--I am absolutely certain that I am not putting in the hours I should be and in fact have been told as much. My career path is such that eventually it could cost me my job because my I haven't been productive enough. However, this is what I can do right now, I can't sacrifice any more time with the kids than I already do. My attitude is, I will try to make the current job work on my schedule. If it doesn't work out, I will SAH for a while or look for something else. When they kids are in school, I can ramp back up at work if I still have my job.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:43 AM FlagYou and I are on the same page. I used ot be in a consulting job so had to bill for hours but now I just need to get stuff done and as long as it is done no one seems to be too concerned with my hours. But, if they do hit their limit with me I will propose PT which I am sure will be shot down then start to really look for PT. At least it will not be a surprise if I leave then. I like my boss a lot so it is a shame BUT he is a work-horse.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:45 AM Flag
Honestly, if I were in a stable marriage and had no financial concerns, I would SAH in a second. 6 and 3 is still pretty young, and there is SO much you can get involved in at school or volunteering other places. I hate missing so much too and used to love my career, but now it is second to my kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:49 AM FlagYou are me, except I can't even dream of it with my 6 and 3 yo. I make 70% of the HHI, there's absolutely no way I can SAHM.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:52 AM FlagYou are doing amazing things for your kids just by showing them a mom who supports the family. There are other things we can do for our kids other than just hours spent with them. For kids of either gender, a working mother is an amazing role model.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:29 AM FlagI totally agree that there are lots of ways to be a role model, so don't think one is better than the other. (I am post above that started with, "Honestly,") It just sounds to me like the OP really wants to be with her kids more. I wasn't assuming it was a, "better," choice in the abstract, just for her.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:58 AM Flag
I work part time where I used to work full time pre-kid. I can't say I'm terribly stimulated intellectually, or that I'm on my ideal career path. I feel like I'm in 1st or 2nd gear. Not moving forward very fast, but not standing still, either, and not reversing. I'm happy 70% of the time, and other times I want to just go full time, or just want to stop working altogether. I think you just always wind up questioning whatever you've chosen to do. But I feel like I really get a chance to spend time with my daughter, which is really the most important thing for me.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:54 AM FlagI am thinking about this as well. 10 yrs ago I did nothing but work. Now, I am so unmotivated I hardly recognize myself. I don't want to wake up as a 65 yr old and have only worked, taken care of my kids and done nothing for myself. My dad (73) actually said to me he was being selfish now but not spending that much time with the grandkids b/c he only has a few yrs left and wanted to have fun. Some of my friends say I should work not for today but because someday I will want to go back and find that I cannot.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 08:54 AM FlagThe WOHM parent thing has only gotten harder for me each yr and my oldest is 11. The homework thing is a BIG, stressful deal. LAter it will be social challenges/peer pressure to boot. But I still work b/c I am sole wage-earner.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:17 AM FlagOh my god, I can't believe it gets harder! That is depressing. Mine are 2 and 5 and juggling work and missing them is so tough.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:31 AM Flagop - mine are 6 and 3 and much harder than when they were both in day care with only weekend activities. Now it is get one on the bus, the other to day care, pick up from the bus and get to an activity then pick up from day care then make dinner and try to stay awake past 9:00 so I can have time for myself, teh house and dh.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 10:09 AM FlagI responded above and feel like we are in similar situations so can I ask a related question? Do you feel it is better for your marriage if you work. I have talked to my DH and he has admitted that while he will support any choice I make, he likes the more equal atmosphere that exists with both of us working. I also feel that I resent stuff like house-work a lot less when I an busy at work (although our house is not as clean!) just wondering if this is a factor for you at all.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 10:18 AM FlagI am VERY worried about my relationship with dh if I stop working. We have a great marriage nad really enjoy each other's company and while I take on most household responsibility he is very helpfula nd does what he can to do stuff with the kids. I know this is terrible to say but I feel like he will not have as much respect for me if I am not working - he is not that type of person so I am probably worried over nothing but I still woudl be nervous. I have been looking for a PT position online fo rmuch of today - LOL, great use of my time at work!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:34 AM FlagI feel the same--we have a good balance and mutual respect that I think is tied to our work and engagement with the larger world. My kids are so important to me but my marriage is too and I think a strong marriage is also good for them. Part of me resents the idea that I would keep working because DH finds it attractive though!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:40 AM FlagMy dh keeps telling me to quit if I do not work and doe snot seem to have any issues with it - that being said, I would need to find something to busy myself when kids are at school. he and I talk about that and he is sure it will get to me before it gets to him! LOL, he is probably right - I am too tightly wound to not have a job. This is why I am fixated on finding PT even if it means I don't love what I do - if it is mentally stimulating I'll take it!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 11:47 AM Flag
I want to congratulate all of you on the most productive and non snarky thread about working and SAH I have ever read on UB!
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:33 AM Flagit's the real WOHM lunch hour - this is what we do in downtime....WOH provides a life balance too - we shouldnt forget that.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 09:35 AM Flag-
I guess your definition of a "productive and non-snarky" is "all the ORs cheerlead the SAH option and no one dares to offer a different opinion"?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 10:27 AM FlagNo, not at all, I WOH. I think it is nice to be able to express ambivalent about either choice without getting attacked. I felt that the thread was an honest expression of how difficult WOH can be, without villianizing it. Please don't hijack this into something negative.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.12, 10:34 AM Flag
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[+] Our family will soon be transitioning from two incomes to one so I can stay home with... 13 replies
- This has to be fake. My HHI is <2 million as well. Care to be less vague? Your...
- Wasn't the original post below $200K HHI and $1K per year hair? Why the change? Although...people who pay $10K plus a year for hair. Our HHI is well over a MM and I go to supercuts...are a millionaire because you go to Supercuts, when your HHI is over a million/year. If your HHI is over a million a year, then OBVIOUSLY you are a millionaire unless you squander every penny...
Talk : : April 15, 2012
Our family will soon be transitioning from two incomes to one so I can stay home with the baby. I do not make a lot and DH earns the lion's share, but we will still feel the impact and I don't consider us rich (HHI less than 2 million). One thing I know I need to give up/change is my hair expense. I pay $2000 4-5x a year to have it highlighted and cut. Do you recommend I find a more inexpensive salon and keep highlighting it, or just using boxed stuff at home? I have almost no grays (yet). I mostly highlight because it looks better--not because I need to hide anything. My natural hair color is light-medium brown
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.15.12, 02:29 PM Flag ]This has to be fake. My HHI is <2 million as well. Care to be less vague? Your expenditures must be ridiculously high to even be worrying about hair color expense. You are an idiot if you're really paying $800-10,000 a year to get your hair done.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:31 PM Flag-
I am the OP from the original post, and I defend it. I do not think it was ridiculous. It's more ridiculous to say you are a millionaire because you go to Supercuts, when your HHI is over a million/year. If your HHI is over a million a year, then OBVIOUSLY you are a millionaire unless you squander every penny and own no assets.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 03:12 PM Flag
[+] Our family will soon be transitioning from two incomes to one so I can stay home with... 33 replies
- You and the OP are crazy. Our HHI, is about 600k and I would never spend that much money on...
- Our HHI is half as much as yours and I don't think...
- Also, you have a HHI of 600k and you're wasting your time on UB?...
- of those people that post about feeling poor although you have a HHI of 1mil. HA, goodnight my sweet, clueless, snooty bitch....
Talk : : April 15, 2012
Our family will soon be transitioning from two incomes to one so I can stay home with the baby. I do not make a lot and DH earns the lion's share, but we will still feel the impact and I don't consider us rich (HHI less than 200k). One thing I know I need to give up/change is my hair expense. I pay $200 4-5x a year to have it highlighted and cut. Do you recommend I find a more inexpensive salon and keep highlighting it, or just using boxed stuff at home? I have almost no grays (yet). I mostly highlight because it looks better--not because I need to hide anything. My natural hair color is light-medium brown
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.15.12, 01:44 PM Flag ]-
WHAT?! I think I spend total about $300 a year on hair - including product, shampoo and haircuts. Do people really spend that much on hair? I rarely see anyone walking around with such amazing hair that I'm blown away.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:10 PM FlagOP--I do have good hair. It's one of my best features, which is why I've always splurged on it. It's thick and long and layered (falls around where my boobs start). Hollywood people have similar hair as mine but they have to pay for it to be this thick (extensions)
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:14 PM Flag
You and the OP are crazy. Our HHI, is about 600k and I would never spend that much money on my hair unless I had some real issue, like balding.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:38 PM Flag
OP--I've already started switching out Redken and Aveda products for Suave. It's not so bad. I might still use a couple higher end ones like the leave in stuff. But stuff like shampoo that just washes down the drain I may as well get Suave.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:09 PM FlagIf you are that proud of your hair it's probably worth the splurge. I really let myself go after first dc was born in order to save money and 3 years later it's hard to pull myself back together.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:37 PM FlagI only make 32k and I do not think 1k is a lot of money to spend on you hair a year.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 02:49 PM FlagYou have no business telling anybody how to spend money if you make 32k.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 03:34 PM FlagAnd you got no business telling me what to do either, unless you're willing to contribute to my HHI.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 03:42 PM FlagYou're hilarious. I guarantee you I AM contributing whether it's in WIC, EITC, whatever because you spends 3% of your incredibly low gross income on hair, apparently. Unless you have family money, a rich husband, or both, GTFO. You are not qualified to have an opinion.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 03:52 PM FlagLol! You're a fool. I'm not in debt, I don't collect food stamps or wic. I pay taxes and I work everyday. I don't have credit card debt only a loan for my car and I don't rely on my DH to for anything. So, once again. You have no right to tell me anything.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 04:01 PM Flag
Our HHI is half as much as yours and I don't think you spend a crazy amount on your hair. People commenting on it must not color their hair. You get it done less than every other month. $200 for a cut and highlights I assume in new york is really not that bad.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 03:15 PM Flag-
Of all the things you will be worrying about leaving your position, becoming a new mother, and cutting back THIS? Ok I'm taking the lead of the op above and saying sayonara to UB. It's just vapid for words. I stumbled upon it with a school question and was sucked in. Getting the monkey off my back. Thanks highlighted or one processed or who the hell cares.
[ Reply | More ]04.15.12, 05:38 PM Flag
[+] Questions? I have lots of questions. Is my i.q. high enough to have a baby? If it is ... 1 reply
Talk : : April 15, 2012
Questions? I have lots of questions. Is my i.q. high enough to have a baby? If it is will I pass on my high I.Q. to my baby and will my little snowflake get into a G&T program and can you name him/her? If I like the name and you can guarantee I'll get in I'll ttc right away. Well maybe tomorrow because I'm on a pork cleanse right now. Is that healthy? I need to lose 3 lbs. by 5:00pm. Oh and my total HHI is $7MM am I poor or rich?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | More04.15.12, 01:11 PM Flag ]
[+] If HHI is around 300K, that would definitely make you "poor" at a private, correct? 12 replies
Talk : : April 14, 2012
If HHI is around 300K, that would definitely make you "poor" at a private, correct?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.14.12, 06:05 PM Flag ]You don't deserve to live in NY if you only earn $300K. Hang your head and slink away to NJ.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:17 PM FlagThere was a startling census figure from five years ago that the median household income of the 35,000 white Manhattan children under age 5 was 284K. This has probably dropped somewhat with the recession. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/23/nyregion/23kid.html?pagewanted=all
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:21 PM Flag
[+] Spin off from an earlier post (not OP): do you think it's better to be one of the wea... 23 replies
- I think it's also in the attitude - we are a pretty laid back family when it comes to things like clothes, 'stuff', etc. We have a good HHI but really don't care if the kids are in no-label clothes from Target, with holes in the knees. They like them and are comfortable and I have no interest in worrying about having them dress 'right'. We considered public (would not have...
Talk : : April 14, 2012
Spin off from an earlier post (not OP): do you think it's better to be one of the wealthier kids at your public school, or one of the "poor" kids at your private school? Because that will be my DD, depending on what we decide for school.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.14.12, 05:57 PM Flag ]It depends on the kids and the school. I think there is wealth in public schools. Many people just choose it over private for pc reasons. There are also some low key privates.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 05:59 PM FlagI was one of the poor kids at private school. It sucked - I was lonely and used to spend lunch hours in the library. But now I earn over $1m a year and have my education to thank.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:00 PM FlagDo you want advice on how to bring her up rich or poor? Do kids really know in K who is rich and who is poor? How about MC?
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:01 PM FlagI was lower middle class at an upper upper middle class suburban public school. I would take that any day over the other way around.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:04 PM Flag-
The only things I felt like I missed were material and, as I ultimately realized, unimportant. I remember being in elementary school and wanting Gear Bags (remember those?) in every color like my friends. Junior high all I wanted were Guess jeans. I never cared as much about their huge homes or fancy vacations. In high school I got a $2k clunker that barely moved and my friends were getting new toyotas on the low end and a $90k bmw on the high end. Lots of range rovers, etc. At the end of the day, I got an awesome education and I felt upper middle class because that's what all my friends were and I sort of grew up that way (even though we were waaaaay poorer).
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:33 PM FlagI should also add that I have a very successful career and earned more in the year I graduated law school than my mom ever earned in a year. I owe my academic success to my background at my fantastic high school. I'd probably be nothing now if I went to a lesser school. My parents never graduated college, so they had very low expectations for me.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:35 PM Flag
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I think it's also in the attitude - we are a pretty laid back family when it comes to things like clothes, 'stuff', etc. We have a good HHI but really don't care if the kids are in no-label clothes from Target, with holes in the knees. They like them and are comfortable and I have no interest in worrying about having them dress 'right'. We considered public (would not have been a big stretch) but ultimately decided that we liked the vibe at our local public a lot and went with it.
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:07 PM FlagDo you think it's better if I punch you in the face or in the stomach?
[ Reply | More ]04.14.12, 06:09 PM Flag
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Inside UrbanBaby
UrbanBabyBuzz
This Sunday, April 22nd, marks the 42nd celebration of Earth Day where we are reminded of environmental responsibility and protecting Mother Earth. Children seem to have an inherited kinship with nature and usually display plenty of enthusiasm ...
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