I used to love stats, one could have even called it an obsession. Every morning when I started up Firefox, there was that tab, a manna of kill/death ratios, accuracy metrics, kill counts, headshot totals, and the oh so vague but ego gripping skill changes. I'm a big Battlefield 3 fan.

At least that's how our relationship started, a hundred fourteen hours and thirty two minutes later; I woke up and realized I wasn't having fun. It's not that the game itself had become less engrossing, challenging, or even that I was just ready to move on. It was because I was avoiding taking on new risk to protect that precious battlog page. I had my best loadouts, I knew my maps, lanes, and general match flow. The problem was that my tactics, however effective, had become wrote. It had gotten that way because it feels horrible to see your overall k/d drop, and for other people to see it to.

I finally came to the conclusion that I should no longer look at stats, ok, at least not as often. I had already gained whatever I was going to gain from them. In its stead, I have gone back to what is pure, the kill cam. The kill cam tells you who(flipabird22), what(shotgun), where(building), how(buckshot to your groin). The kill cam does not remember, does not judge, the killcam just is. Recently I spoke with some Modern Warfare 3 players in the office who felt the same way.

The following entry appeared in a series of tweets a few moments ago, but I thought this would be a good place to post these thoughts as well and see what you all think. There are no story spoilers, but obviously if you are totally averse to finding out even the vaguest structural details of the ending, you probably should wait to read until you're done.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Mass Effect 3 is a game about death, and viewing it as such provides an illuminating way to interpret the reactions to the ending.

The end of the game is like the end of the trilogy, like the end of a life. Consider, then, The Five Stages of Grief.

1. Denial - "This can't be the real ending, there must be DLC." "If you analyze it deeper, the symbolism points to a truer, better ending!"

2. Anger - "BioWare has betrayed me! How could you distill the long hours I spent in Mass Effect to one stupid choice! CHANGE IT!!"

3. Bargaining - "Look, I'm not bitter. I respect BioWare. But, please, I'll donate thousands of dollars to charity to support a new ending."

4. Depression - "Nothing I ever did in Mass Effect 3 even mattered in the end. It was all just sound and fury, signifying nothing."

5. Acceptance - "I may not like the way it ended, but I loved the time I spent with the Mass Effect series, and I'm thankful for that."

When I finished the game, I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't angry. I just kind of sat there thinking, "Huh. So that was it." Did I think that maybe something more elaborate would be more satisfying? Yes. Did I feel like I wanted to know more? For sure. But we've all experienced endings that were unsatisfactory, whether in books, film, television series, or whatever. The only thing we can control is how we choose to deal with it.

Personally, I strive for acceptance. The measure of a life is not taken in its waning hours, after all. A few minutes at the end of the road does not make all that I experienced any less wondrous, exhilarating, heartbreaking, and fascinating. I love this series, and I loved Mass Effect 3. And there were some moments in that ending that I really loved as well.

So how do you deal with it when something you love doesn't end in a way you love?

One of my favorite characters in the Mass Effect universe died last night. It left me soul searching as to what I had done to contribute. It made me think all the way back to Mass Effect 1. Ultimately this tragedy is something I will have to live with. I refuse to erase consequence by returning to an earlier time and changing my fate, this would be a betrayal of what makes Mass Effect great. I now feel that film is inadequate by comparison. My Mass Effect story continues.

Hopefully you may have noticed this, but we've been going through a huge period of change here at GameSpot of late. We have evolved so much over the past six months or so, but we are still on our journey to bigger, better things. Last month I was interviewed by Stever Peterson at Industry Gamers, and the resulting conversation seemed to resonate with a lot of people. You can read that chat here and part two here. Given that people seemed to like what we talked about, I thought I'd share with you what we're striving for in 2012, and what I hope you will judge us by. This is by no means a full expression of editorial policy, but more a mini-manifesto for the year ahead.

• In a modern media culture where everyone has a voice, our role has dramatically changed. GameSpot was built on many things, but a big part of it was being a source for screen shots, trailers, and basic preview content. These days though, this kind of content is more of a "commodity" than something special, and frankly it's boring. For us as well as you. At a time where we all consume content from the Internet as a whole, our job is much more than an asset delivery service.
• The landscape has shifted, and our competitive set has changed. In the past it was different media brands pitted against each other, racing for exclusives. These days we have to differentiate ourselves from the commodities that the publishers and studios themselves distribute through official channels, and from the fantastic content being produced by passionate gamers on their blogs, on YouTube, in forums, and on livestreaming services.
• We have resources, and we have access. It is our responsibility to bring these to bear for your benefit. Gaming is as much about culture as it is product, so we will endeavor to assert the personalities of that culture wherever possible. Gaming is about people, and what entertains them; not just "product." Our programming will (hopefully, or I'll be out of a job) find a balance between information and entertainment that works for you.
• Our observations, reviews, and analysis pieces are intended to start conversations. Sometimes it's about the merits of an individual title, sometimes it's simply to highlight that something is funny or entertaining. We are curators.
• We will never be afraid to adapt. If something isn't working, we'll change it. Nothing we do is so precious that it should exist purely for the sake of legacy. As gamers, you are on the cutting edge of media consumption, and your tastes lead trends in the way that media is absorbed. We'll be watching you very closely, and taking your feedback very seriously. If we think a content type, or approach isn't working - we will adapt. Just in the past few weeks we've been able to do this with our new show Screen Tear. By speaking with the audience on both GameSpot and on YouTube we have been able to change the format, the focus, and the voice of the show thanks to your input.
• We will always look at opportunities to bring you coverage in terms of the different media types we produce. Video, live video, audio, written, or social media...we'll bring you the best possible coverage through the most appropriate media. Sometimes the best way to convey something is with a live video stream, sometimes all that's needed is a tweet. As an extension of this, we're mindful of the environment for this content too. In the past, our mission was purely about bringing you to GameSpot. These days our job is to bring GameSpot to you. As such, we are creating and adapting content to push to YouTube, through Twitter, Facebook, and Google+ through live services like Twitch.TV and beyond.

You are a vocal, passionate, and articulate bunch, and we want to give you the coverage you crave. We will bring you into the creative process wherever we can, and let your input, and feedback shape our content. The bottom line? You love games, we love games - let's make some awesome stuff.

Last Thursday evening, a dozen GameSpot editors gathered in our office arena to joust. Johann Sebastian Joust, to be specific. For an hour and half we stalked, hid, scurried, and leapt around the room while projectiles filled the air and PlayStation Move controllers glowed brightly. There was triumph, agony, near-injuries, and unintentional groping, and both participants and spectators alike left with the feeling that they had just experienced something highly unusual, but incontrovertibly awesome.

This vigorous endeavor, coordinated by the estimable Tom Mc Shea, is chronicled in the short video below, deftly distilled by the talented GS video producer, Werhner Von Goff. Each time I watch it (up to about 5 or 6 now) I see new things, remember unseen details, and chuckle aloud. However, I'm guessing that it might not make a whole lot of sense to folks who are unfamiliar with the game. With that in mind, I've written a companion of sorts to contextualize some of the crazy stuff you're seeing and help you get more out of the video. The basic premise is below, followed by the video and then some timestamps that highlight strategies, calamities, and favorite moments. Enjoy!

The Basics

Each player grabs a PlayStation Move controller (we had 5). The Moves are linked via Bluetooth to a laptop in the corner of the room, which runs the game. The laptop plays classical music at varying speeds and monitors the accelerometers in the Move controllers. The tempo of the music corresponds to the maximum speed you can move your Move; fast music means fast motions are okay, slow music means you must be very careful. If you move your controller too fast, it blinks red, vibrates, and you are out. A flashing light indicates you are getting close to the limit. Pulling the trigger (supposedly) gives you temporary invulnerability. The object is to make the other players move their controllers too fast while keeping your movements in check. Games generally last less than a few minutes, some are over in seconds.

The Video

The Breakdown

0:19 - You don't actually have to move in time with the music, Mc Shea! I went into this game thinking I'd have to be waving the Move like a conductor's wand, which is clearly not the case. Fortunately, this was the extent of Tom's disinformation campaign.

0:33 - Two back-to-back instances of verbal tactics. I begin advancing on Shaun McInnis with, "Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun." Then it sounds like Mc Shea says to Kurtis Seid, "What's Magrino doing?", in an effort to distract him into worrying about Tom Magrino. Not sure how either of those encounters ended up.

0:39 - My goon-walking phase (I'm the dude in the white t-shirt). While it was enough to make Giancarlo Varanini smile, it didn't pan out to be much of a strategy.

0:43 - Kurtis takes an lazy shot at Ryan Schubert with a small foam soccer ball. We stocked the room with a bunch of soft, throwable things to make projectile jousting a possibility for all. See if you can spot a stuffed football, a little pony, a Sonic the Hedgehog hat, a blue UFO, and Blinky from Pac-Man

0:52 - The devious and innovative Maxwell McGee grabs a desk chair, to Mc Shea's vocal dismay. This item will later be used as a defensive barrier, an offensive weapon, and a vehicle that at least one foolhardy editor (Mc Shea) tries to ride around (while using a broken fan cage as a shield).

1:10 - Carolyn Petit moves in on Marko Djordjevic for some slow-motion close-quarters jousting. One of the tamest violations of personal space you are bound to see.

1:16 - Out come a few extra props for prodding!

1:23 - Tom Mc Shea's offensive gambit backfires when Shaun stabilizies his controller and totally kicks Mc Shea in the nuts.

1:26 - The resilient Carolyn weathers a fake kick and a chair to the leg before succumbing to another fake kick (1:32) as Aron Vietti closes in from the other side. The crash noise you hear is emitted by the computer to let you know someone has been knocked out.

1:40 - Despite a nice block, Ryan succumbs to a lunge from Janmeja Heir. But take a look to the left and you'll notice that I am laid out on the floor, curled up like a bug. During a scuffle with Maxwell, I received a sharp strike to the back that resulted in some intense, albeit short-lived, discomfort. Was it his bony elbow? Was it that television lurking in the background? All we truly know is that Johann Sebastian Joust is not a game with its own perils. And that Maxwell is a total gentleman once he's eliminated you from competition (as evidenced at 3:15 and 3:21).

1:43 - I snuck The Claw into play by sticking it into the back of my pants, and Marko was the first person I tangled with. Though I manage to deftly parry his lunge with my children's toy, he gets the best of that encounter as my Move fizzles out.

1:46 - Maxwell kicks Mc Shea into a beanbag (the dude is ruthless!), but at what cost?

1:48 - A projectile montage that features three of my best throws of the night. The first never actually hits Tom, but whizzes so close to his face that his involuntary startled jerk knocks him out. The other two are direct hits, but my favorite throw of the night was when, from across the room, I bounced the foam soccer ball off of the glowing tip of Carolyn's controller and eliminated her. Headshot! (My worst one, incidentally, was when I chucked a stuffed pony directly into Maxwell's face. He spectating at the time.)

1:56 - Here we see Tom implementing a tactic I like to call, The Bum Rush. Because your controller can never move too slowly, Tom has placed it on the ground and darted after his opponents. If he can get to them all before they find his idle controller, victory shall be his! Anytime you see someone moving MUCH faster than anyone else, odds are it's a Bum Rush in action.

1:58 - Kurtis saves John Davison the indignity of being Bum Rushed by drilling him in the face with a pillow. How thoughtful!

2:10 - Giancarlo gets in a sneaky, cheeky slap on Maxwell, but as we see in the next scene, knocks himself out in the process. There are many other instances of such jousting hubris in the video, where the aggressors end up knocking themselves out as well. There's some sort of zen observation to be made here, I'm sure.

2:16 - This face-off ends with Marko falling onto a big white beanbag, much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately for him, that big dark cloth is covering a dangerous nest of music game peripherals. Having covered this hazard myself, I can confidently deduce that at 2:20, Marko hits his head on the upright leg of a drumset without the drum pads attached. Ouch!

2:22 - Mc Shea gets Bum Rush-happy! Seeing him coming for me with that hideous Sonic scalp, I instinctively set my controller down and went in for the tackle. I knew bowling him over and finding his controller was my only chance, but I only succeeded at the first part (this may also have involved some inadvertant crotch trauma for the beleaguered Mc Shea).

2:30 - Tyler Winegarner had been lying on the floor for a good 30 seconds at this point. No one messed with him and he just lay there with a huge grin on his face. Huge! Then Marko decided the free ride was over, and dropped a beanbag on him. C'est la joust!

2:34 - "Zee bubble wrap, it does nah-sing!" John is happy to demonstrate to Shaun that this is not an Egg Drop contest by bludgeoning him with an inflatable tommy gun.

2:44 - Kevin VanOrd leads Maxwell on a merry chase that comes to an abrupt halt with a quick slap from Marko. Ever the good sportsman, Kevin has the composure to accept defeat in his best Alvin and the Chipmunksvoice (thanks for that, Wernher!).

3:01 - Mc Shea puts a roaring spin on the Bum Rush, and Erick Tay isn't able to stop himself from smiling (or getting eliminated).

3:12 - Marko and Jan demonstrate the grace, elegance, and athletic prowess required to be a GameSpot employee.

3:25 - WHOMP!

3:35 - Many thanks indeed, Doug Wilson!

3:39 - He didn't *technically* get decked that round, but I did go on to claim the night's final victory (as least that's how I remember it).

The End

And there you have it. Spot anything funny that I missed? Who seemed like the most formidable competitor? Favorite moments? Let me know in the comments!

The following list already appeared here, but I've fleshed it out with a few extra categories below. Enjoy!

10. Outland

I'm a sucker for Metroidvania games, but when you add in a beautiful art design and a novel gameplay mechanic like polarity switching, suddenly I go from being a sucker to being in love. In fact, I'm normally kind of a baby when it comes to challenging boss fights, but Outland had me going all the way through to the moment I terrified my girlfriend with shouts of joy upon beating the final boss.

9. L.A. Noire

Rockstar games are always a lightning rod for nitpicking and naysaying, but as a fan of open-world settings, I tend to enjoy their stuff quite a bit. L.A. Noire's recreation of 1940s Los Angeles was an incredible thing, to the point where I enjoyed just driving around the city and soaking up the sights. And while the interrogation system was pretty flawed, that didn't stop me from really enjoying the adventure game elements of the game's detective work.

8. Stacking

I really enjoyed the 10 minutes of this game I got to play before my girlfriend--normally not much of a gamer--ripped the controller out of my hand and proceeded to play through the rest of the game as I sat and watched, offering suggestions on how to solve its various puzzles. And while it may seem odd to put a game on here that I watched more than I played, its charming and whimsical sense of humor and ability to encourage couch teamwork was more than entertaining enough to earn a place on this list. Also, it had DLC called "The Lost Hobo King." How could I not put that on here?

7. Deus Ex: Human Revolution

If you know my tastes at all, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of engrossing atmosphere in games. Deus Ex, with its unique color palette and and buzzing sci-fi synth music, was one of my favorite examples of atmosphere all year long. And it certainly helps that I really enjoyed the story and gameplay as well, I suppose. Especially the part where you throw refrigerators at people.

6. Terraria

This one's kind of a bittersweet entry for me. I recently went in and played some Terraria for the first time since this summer and really disliked the ramped up difficulty level of the most recent patch. But for those 30-odd hours I played the game earlier this year, I couldn't get enough of its freeform adventuring. The visual language of 2D sprites was more appealing to me than Minecraft's worlds, and the allure of building up toward big boss fights kept me plugging along when I'd run out of ideas for things to build.

5. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

I had several reasons to ignore Ghost Trick: the only portable games I play anymore tend to be on iPhone, and I've never played a single Phoenix Wright game either. But I took a chance on Ghost Trick after Carolyn's review and it was one of the best decisions I've made all year. Its puzzles feel fresh and unique, it's got a terrific sense of humor, and dear God that soundtrack! Oh, and did I mention Missile? You could put Missile in any game and it would be a contender for my top 10 list.

4. To the Moon

I'll go ahead and get this out of the way right now: To the Moon is the closest I've ever come to crying while playing a video game. But to dismiss this as some sappy story would be a profound mistake, because To the Moon's strength lies in its emotional complexity. Its story of a dying man's memories of his late wife alternates between genuinely hilarious and charming during certain points, to bittersweet and downright heartbreaking at others. The whole thing is a powerful testament to the storytelling potential of video games that you really ought to play if you have four or five hours to spare.

3. Batman: Arkham City

Funny story: I didn't play Arkham Asylum until earlier this year. But I knew that with Arkham City coming out in the fall, I had to fill that shameful gap in my backlog post haste. So I did, and went into Arkham Asylum ready to continue Batman's fight against the Joker. Pretty good decision, right? Arkham City has one of the best combat systems of any action-adventure game I've played in the past 10 years, and the new open-world setting really lets you feel like a predator stalking your foes from the rooftops. It's just a stunning overall package that could easily be my number one game of year at any other time besides 2011.

2. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I'm about 65 hours into Skyrim right now, and I've barely put a dent in the main story arc. I've just been getting lost in the landscape, taking on any side quests that come my way, and wandering through the world as much as I possibly can. Skyrim is just that kind of game, one that makes you want to take your time and soak up every last sight as much as possible. There's so much to explore and see and kill and craft that you need to take your time with it. And I think that's one of the things Skyrim does better than Oblivion. There are more stories and secrets to be found out there in the world, and you really don't want to pass any of them over.

1. Portal 2

Entertainment doesn't get any more pure than Portal 2. It's a game makes you smile one of those big, stupid grins no matter whether you're playing it or thinking about it six months later. That's the sort of game Portal 2 is. Pure bliss.

Runners Up

The Witcher 2, Battlefield 3, Driver San Francisco, Bastion, Rayman Origins.

Most Disappointing Game of the Year

Dragon Age II. Just a textbook example or rushing a sequel out the door far, far too soon.

iPhone Game of the Year

Tiny Wings! Not the objectively best game of the year for the platform, but certainly the one I had the most fun with.