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[–]thevirginlarry 365 points366 points ago

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Would anyone else here rather fall for a weird internet prank about attempted rape than further victimize a victim of attempted rape? Sometimes being a rube is better than being an asshole. Ok. Always.

[–]Kaiganeru 11 points12 points ago

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I double nohassles - you said it perfectly, in two lines. What I am still furious about is the "making amends" of the person who did that "well I don't to say it's fake if it's true but..." and went on to analyze why he thought it was fake based on his non-existent expertise with make-up, to the point that she made a video of herself scrubbing raw to the point of blood, that injury again (god that makes me hurt inside) to prove to some ugly, ugly, person that she was really telling the truth.

That should NEVER have happened. Aspersions should never have been cast on her veracity. As you said - it is far better to risk being a rube than to EVER further victimize a rape victim - and of course, EVERY OTHER rape and abuse victim reading the thread who is re-victimized by reading the "oh you must be lying because" posts.

Very well said, thank you.

[–]nohassles 70 points71 points ago

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Thanks for saying that.

[–]Kristic74 103 points104 points ago

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Because I don't like to put my foot in my mouth, I'm just going to say I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I hope the person who did this to you faces the harshest of punishments.

[–]Bidonet 18 points19 points ago

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I wonder how much rapists there is on reddit and how much of them actually downvoted the OP. With an average of 90000 rapes per year in the US, knowing Reddit.com is the 45th most visited site in the US, I know you are there somewhere lurking and downvoting! WE'RE WATCHING YOU!

[–]mrekai 128 points129 points ago

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Over ten years ago, I was sexually assaulted in Toronto at the Yonge and Lawrence subway station at 4 pm in the afternoon, when there were other people on the platform. I didn't report it, because I was 12 and terrified, but it made me realize that it doesn't matter where or when, there is no way to be totally safe.

[–]r2002 18 points19 points ago

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when there were other people on the platform

I just like to say: FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. If I see anyone physically harassing a 12 year-old, I'd fucking kill them on the spot.

[–]Kaiganeru 8 points9 points ago

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Well said. It's hard to imagine that anyone could stand by and not get involved if a 12 year old (or a 22 year old or a 32, 42, 52, 62, 72, 82, 92 or 102 year old) was being harassed or assaulted in any way.

But people do it every day, they "don't want to get involved." It makes me angrier than I can adequately articulate. There are far worse things than being injured or killed... and one of those things being a person who lets such things happen and does NOTHING. How do they sleep at night, look at themselves in the mirror with anything less than revulsion?

We aren't talking about 3 am in a bad neighborhood... and if we were? I'd still say the person is obligated to DO something. If they are afraid for their own safety, at the BAREST minimum call 911 and try to create some kind of diversion. If they're out in the same dangerous place or on the same subway platform or wherever it is, you try to help.

I remember a year or so ago, talking to some people online, and they said that their lives weren't worth saving a woman from gang rape. I was (and this doesn't happen often) stunned into silence then absolutely furious - I asked why and they said "Well, women get raped all the time, it's not worth dying for or getting hurt."

"Women get raped all the time, it's not worth dying for or getting hurt."

I think about that statement, look at it, and go cold inside. And then, yes, I cry because I feel so sickened and depressed. It has turned into a sort of acid test conversation gambit. I won't bring it up, but if a topic turns to sexual abuse, I'll ask (if it's an appropriate group) what the guys would do if they came upon a woman being raped or gang raped.

Very often I've gotten the same response, and often with variations such as "well, it depends on if she's getting hurt."

It's hard not to go ballistic when a man says that. THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEING RAPED MEANS SHE IS BEING HURT. The attitude that rape is "just sex" (which she probably somehow wanted anyway) fills me with a fury that very little else does.

We think our society is great - we hear about how advanced it is. Sorry, wrong. The US might have been that super, advanced, world power, but now? We have a climbing illiteracy rate, those who are literate are often sub-literate, we are very strongly entrenched in a blame the victim mentality, women are most assuredly NOT treated equally, and in terms of social evolution, we lag behind the Scandinavian countries and most of the EU - Denmark, Holland, France, even Germany, and other nations have evolved pass this. Not entirely, but far better than we have.

Then again, with health care and no/low coat University, these countries put far less stress on their citizens - if you can walk around with less anger and fear, you're more likely to be able to evolve in other ways.

[–]r2002 1 point2 points ago

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Don't get me wrong, I'm not a big guy or even someone who looks for confrontation. I'm soft spoken and generally turn the other cheek when shit happens to me.

I agree people of all ages deserve our help in the situation you described. But I think especially--when seeing something horrible happen to a child--for me I would probably just automatically respond without thinking. Probably because there's some sort of ingrained herd instinct to protect the young and the weak.

[–]Ricdubs 18 points19 points ago

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That's crazy. I grew up at that intersection. Always seemed super safe to me but I guess it can happen anywhere....

[–]homelandsecurity__ 188 points189 points ago

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That picture looks nothing like "zombie makeup".

Perhaps she posted that rage comic because this happened to her.

But either way, do none of you think it's more "right" to go ahead and give her your condolences? If she's lying, then she'll feel bad (hopefully) for lying. And if she doesn't feel bad, then what harm is done really?

But if she's telling the truth I don't think you can even begin to understand what that does to a person. Speaking from experience, even if this didn't happen act like you believe her.

Then again, I suppose the damage is done at this point. The lengths reddit will go to disprove anything most women say seriously disgusts me. I go to 4chan when I want misogyny, and I come here when I want rational thought. Apparently that's not a thing I can find on reddit anymore.

Fuck, almost every time I've posted anything about my experiences similar to the purported story of this girl I'm downvoted with literally no explanation. It may be the internet but when it gets to touchy subjects like this, guys, it fucking hurts.

[–]antl 74 points75 points ago

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AH! Why are you getting downvoted?? What is wrong with these people!?

But if she's telling the truth I don't think you can even begin to understand what that does to a person. Speaking from experience, even if this didn't happen act like you believe her.

This, this, this, this, this.

Also, being pushed into pavement (which is what she said happen) would leave EXACTLY that kind of mark. This thread feels double-y bad. Once because there is a possibility that someone was sexually assaulted, but then again because what actually DID happen was that scores of angry redditors started attacking her and making inappropriate threats/jokes. Not okay.

[–]angrycooch 160 points161 points ago

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I was raped last saturday, jeans and a tshirt. My blood boils at the fact that I have to emphasize that I didn't dress like I was asking for it. Whatever the fuck that dresses like.

[–]Lifeaftercollege 108 points109 points ago

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I don't care if you were stark naked wearing a signboard saying "come abuse my holes." You did nothing to deserve it.

[–]dispatchprincess 1 point2 points ago

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I am so sorry to hear this, beautiful girl. I wish you the best and pray for justice for the sub-human asshole who did this to you.

[–]Tdogg425 55 points56 points ago

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Fucking awful to hear, rapists are the scum of the earth. Hang in there.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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I'd say work with the police on this. Hopefully they can do something.

[–]sigilvii 30 points31 points ago

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Thank you for speaking out about this and not remaining silent.

[–]jackcatalyst 31 points32 points ago

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Hope you feel better.

[–]cridgley 48 points49 points ago

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I live in this neighborhood, and there was a sexual assault reported last Saturday around 8pm. I'm not weighing in on this whole 'fake/NOTfake debate'... but it's something to consider...

[–]cridgley 10 points11 points ago

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Wow. This was my first time commenting on reddit...I usually just read what goes on here. Anyways...I commented because the reactions of the community were really pissing me off. No one had any proof, and they were flipping out on this poor girl. And trying to bring just one piece of rational thought to the debate got me accused of being the OP under a fake account. I was SO mad, I just gave up (didn't want to feed the trolls). I guess if it's an account's first post, it must be fake (just like if one works with Zombie makeup, any subsequent facial injury must be fake, right?) I'm glad the group changed it's mind about OP, but that it took the victim having to scrub at her face until the scrape looked near to bleeding? WTF, reddit? To Theoculus- I'm SO SO So sorry that this happened to you. The original assault, and then the abuse that the internetz gave you afterwards. Not everyone on here is a complete douche. Stay strong. My thoughts are with you.

[–]traken 57 points58 points ago

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Just to be a human being:

If this story is factual, I can assure you we all sympathize with you. Sexual assault is a horrible fact of life that no being should have to endure. Don't feel bad or kill yourself because "the people on the internet don't believe you." Everyone on the internet can be asshole; it's a fact. Get off Reddit, go find a counselor and get help.

[–][deleted] 436 points437 points ago* 

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edit: Upon speaking with the OP she presented some more information and I now believe she really was assaulted. I'm very sorry for the additional trouble I have caused her in this time of stress.

Original comment is below

I really, REALLY don't want to say this is fake, and I'm sorry that the internet has done this to me... but you have a history of using effects makeup to look like a zombie.

I don't know why you would fabricate this story... but I don't know why someone would pretend to have cancer either.

Again, what happened to you is terrible but I'm the tiniest bit skeptical.

[–]NSView 200 points201 points ago* 

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I've been a makeup artist as a hobby for many years, and the photo of the bruise looks to me like the real thing, about one to two days old. If it were makeup, the color of the edge of the eyelid wouldn't be consistent with the rest of the eyelid. To be completely certain though, I'd need to see it in sharp focus.

The effects shot is a different story, it's obviously the common technique of latex and tissue with stage blood. You can see the edges of the tissue.

In other words, if the bruise is fake, it was done by someone whose skills as a makeup artist are far better than whoever did the zombie makeup.

[–][deleted] 134 points135 points ago

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Can't believe people honestly think that's makeup. Leave it to a hivemind of hetero men to not know what applied makeup looks like.

[–]delola3100 86 points87 points ago* 

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as someone who's hobby is FX makeup (been doing it for 20 years), I can say this does not at all look fake.

[–]WhatTheFuck 1 point2 points ago

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so she really is a zombie?

[–]delola3100 2 points3 points ago

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In my (non)professional opinion, yes.

[–]zap-actionsdower 136 points137 points ago

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She made a video of herself washing her face. Doesn't look like make-up to me.

[–]RaptorProof 342 points343 points ago

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Good to know that because I took a stage makeup class, no-one will believe me if I get raped.

[–][deleted] 129 points130 points ago

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Sickening, isn't it?

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

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In America, no one believes rape victims regardless of who they are.

The attitude of this thread, is sadly, the attitude of most of the US.

[–]caketimenow 22 points23 points ago

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Sadly this is true, though it's not an American thing. Rape is one of the hardest crimes to convict. And part of that is the mistrust of victims. It's a horrible thing but there is much stigma around this crime. Also the statistics around conviction are about 1 in 10 are punished, and thats only out of the people who come forward. The percentage of people who come forward is also small. Partly because of shame, the stigma of the crime, the fact that people don't want to rehash it, but also because many people are not believed. Rape victims are not treated as well as they could be, I'm not saying this is the case for all but it's definitely a fact.

People who downvoted this victim for lying are the exact reason why there are problems with conviction. You shouldn't accuse a possible victim of lying, yes whilst people do lie, if you treat all possible victims as victims not as criminals. Then maybe more people would come forward when they are treated terribly.

And before you all downvote me, I have a degree in criminology, whilst my numbers might be a little off as I don't have my notes to hand. It's the sad and horrible fact that rape is an unreported unpunished crime.

[–]MistressFey 41 points42 points ago

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[–]displacingtime 92 points93 points ago

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Seriously. You owe her an apology in the form of an edit to this comment. So does everyone else who accused her for being fake. http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/kc2ry/hey_twox_i_am_the_girl_who_was_lynched_for_lying/

[–]makeinstall 53 points54 points ago

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Is what theoculus said here true?

If so, you need to edit your post immediately to reflect that otherwise you're a piece of shit for letting this witch hunt that you started to continue.

[–]smokeweed 29 points30 points ago

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[–]louderthanwords 144 points145 points ago

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Some things you keep to your fucking self. Do you realize the witch hunt you've started? Do you even fucking care? If there were a 1% chance you were wrong you just caused unnecessary heartache for someone that was already a victim.

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 41 points42 points ago

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I just want to point out this is exactly the material Gawker makes fun of us for.

"Rape victim shunned by online community" etc

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 15 points16 points ago

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What happened last time? I think it was a chick who was shaving her head and raising funds for cancer research. We called her out. Gawker picked up the story and the girl was legit.

What if this girl is legit? It's totally something that Gawker would write about, which is exactly what my above comment was talking about.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, yes, argument from lack of knowledge. Some times I find myself destroying my own logic.

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 8 points9 points ago

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And, it's not just you, but comments calling her a slut are exactly the kinds of quotes a place like Gawker love to quote and mention.

This entire thread turned into everything that Gawker loves to write about. But that's only if she's legit. And, in my honest opinion, that's not out of the question.

[–]manboobz 31 points32 points ago

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The zombie makeup looks fake.

The bruise in the photo she posted looks real.

I think the "skeptics" here are jumping to conclusions. And, frankly, being assholes about it.

[–]whatyoutalkingabout 117 points118 points ago* 

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It seems real: She posted what I assume is the full story to this a day ago.

[–]manboobz 14 points15 points ago

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Uh, I'd call 9 pm early evening, at least in the summer, when sunset is fairly late.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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Except that one happened at 9pm and this happened early evening

I consider 9pm to be early evening.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Sigh.

[–]ilea316 16 points17 points ago

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I hope you don't have any women in your life and if you do I really hope they don't see how asshole-tastic you've acted to this woman.

I'm so glad she didn't just curl up and cry after your actions. Geeze really you are an ass.

[–]shaggy1054 60 points61 points ago

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Whoops. Hope you feel like shit, man. Your post is indefensible.

[–]Kylos 30 points31 points ago

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Oh. Reddit strikes again!

[–]Amarkov 17 points18 points ago

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[–]buffysummers 27 points28 points ago

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God, you are a really pathetic person.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Nice job asshole.

[–]serenaisblank 10 points11 points ago

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oh wow. so If I know how to do stage makeup, there is no way someone could be sure if I got raped.

[–]purpleloki 121 points122 points ago

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Her related rage comic. :/

[–]traken 7 points8 points ago

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Detective mode: By combining the two pieces of evidence post above, OP is possibly an anti-rape activist resorting to a false account of attempted rape in order to further her cause.

[–]soupthrowingarsehole 23 points24 points ago

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anti-rape activist

What the fuck man. What the fuck.

Good to know that I can't speak out too much against rape, if I ever want any future complaints of sexual assault to be taken seriously. What the actual fuck?

[–]BDS_UHS 262 points263 points ago

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We have "anti-rape activists" now? Are there people who publicly hold a pro-rape position?

[–]Vortilex 521 points522 points ago

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Yes. They're called "rapists".

[–]BDS_UHS 63 points64 points ago

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The keyword was "publicly." Most rapists don't openly advocate their love of raping people, and many feel their behavior is justified in some way to avoid calling it rape.

[–]Swibble 50 points51 points ago

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I think we need a statement from I_RAPE_PEOPLE

[–]Numlocks 2 points3 points ago

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Seriously! The one time I don't see his name pop up in a thread and it's this one.

[–]deadbeef404 7 points8 points ago

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I'm assuming he'd sit this one out because there's a very limited range of things that someone with that username could say and not feel terrible.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Where's that certain special reddit account when you need it.....

[–]PR0METHEUS 13 points14 points ago

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NAMBLA exists so unfortunately anything is possible

[–]youneedabettername 8 points9 points ago

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WHAT IN THE FUCK...... I have officially given up hope...

[–]jonzobot 28 points29 points ago

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No, no, you misunderstood. NAMBLA refers to the National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes.

[–]syzygote 6 points7 points ago

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NAMBLA - "We're not killers" (Mr. Show sketch)

[–]Hurm 1 point2 points ago

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oooooh mr. show.

[–]rlaptop7 1 point2 points ago

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woah, shit, that's a real organization.

[–]Piemonkey 23 points24 points ago

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Activism doesn't require an opposite side, just the desire to change something in society.

[–]B1ackavar 4 points5 points ago

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Yes, they're called "redditors".

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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Not really, but there are people who think that the rape is the victim's fault if they dress provocatively.

[–]justleslie 45 points46 points ago

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Which is exactly why my husband and I are participating in the "SlutWalk' Nashville this October. I am sick to death of hearing men and women say that the girl was partially responsible for her rape because of what she was wearing or where she was. It is so demeaning to rape victims. I was FOUR when I was raped for the first time. Maybe my hairbow was too provocative?

[–][deleted] ago* 

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[deleted]

[–]justleslie 11 points12 points ago

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Sunday, October 2 · 4:00pm - 6:00pm

Location: Centennial Park Pavillion, 28th Avenue North @ Poston Avenue (Just off West End behind Mc Donalds & Springwater), Nashville, TN

http://www.slutwalknashville.org/

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Thank you!

[–]memphisbruin 1 point2 points ago* 

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you were most likely downvoted for not using google.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago* 

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So, why was justleslie downvoted for supporting slutwalk? http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/kbj84/i_was_sexually_assaulted_in_the_early_evening/c2iyi6m

EDIT: Also, I'm aware of Google (how could I not be, I do SEO work), but I wanted to make a connection with another human being who was also going to be at the event. Everyone gets downvoted sometimes, not a big deal.

[–]dirtpirate 4 points5 points ago

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I'm one of those people who could be caught saying something like: "She shouldn't be going out like that". The point isn't that it's the victims fault. All fault falls on the rapist, always, I cannot stress that enough. But you do increase the probability of getting raped if you throw all sense out the window. You should never for example go out, get so drunk you blackout without friends to keep track of you. Am I saying that some one doing this "has it coming"? No I'm not. Dressing slutty when you are running around the inner city where I'm from just falls in to the same category of "Don't do it unless you have friend with you".

My cousin has been robbed twice now, getting his pants sliced while waiting for a bus home from parties because he was drunk and fell asleep. Would anyone claim this was he's own doing, or that he had it coming? No, but he acted in a manor which wasn't in anyway attempting to prevent the crime. He now takes a taxi home if he's that drunk, he doesn't go around internet forums making up ridicules stories trying to convince people that it's perfectly safe to sleep at bus-stops and that anyone who would suggest otherwise is siding with pocket thieves.

I think that the "anti-rape activists" if we want to call them that, are focusing on an entirely wrong point by bashing everyone who says dressing slutty can be unsafe. Rather then trying to blatantly disregard the statistics and fact that there is in fact a correlation, you should be trying to change this fact. Make sure to teach girls that when they dress like that, some men will potentially consider them a target, and that they can dress however they like, as long as they keep safe, and go out with friends. In some neighborhoods it's a bad idea for a girl to be walking around alone no matter what she's dressed like. The point isn't trowing around blame.

TL;DR I think some parents need to teach girls to act safer when going out, somehow that makes me a rapist supporting bastard in the eyes of "anti-rape activist".

[–]chem9109 40 points41 points ago

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why exactly are we teaching women and girls not to GET raped instead of teaching men and boys not TO rape.

not saying that you shouldn't absolutely educate females on safety in a society that is predatory towards women, but just something to think about...

[–]awj 26 points27 points ago

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For the same reason that we teach people to lock their doors instead of "not to steal": the ones that really need to hear it probably won't listen.

[–]memphisbruin 10 points11 points ago

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As part of my freshman orientation at university (this is seven years ago), we were required to attend an assembly wherein we were taught about what constitutes rape, with a focus on date rape, and what and how to avoid dangerous situations at parties. There was an inherent message to all the males at the assembly to be very careful when meeting inebriated girls at a party, and to always be respectful and aware of any discomfort. There was likewise a direct message to the women about protecting their own safety (the top example being always go out with a group of friends, and don't leave a friend behind with someone you don't know/trust).

What part of the world do you live in that your society doesn't teach young men (for that matter, all young people) to respect other people's personal space and to respect someone asking you not to do something against their wishes?

[–]dirtpirate 13 points14 points ago

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Where I come from we teach both, and why shouldn't we? What particular branch of society do you frequent if you feel that boys aren't taught not to rape woman? We are also taught not to kill steal or molest, but the world still has these things. So of cause we need to teach both proper safety for woman and good morals and ethics for children. To stand up and say we shouldn't teach girls to act safe in the nightlife because ideally the shouldn't have anything to be scared off is just plain wrong.

The danger is that some girls never feel that there is danger because the are shielded, and then one day when they are walking home drunk and half naked in the dark in the morning and they get raped, someone will say "Hmm that didn't really seem like a safe thing to do" and the he's immediately burn at the stake by a bunch of woman who would much rather throw blame around (always rests with the rapist of cause) then to discuss proper safety in the nightlife.

[–]donnaidh_sidhe 6 points7 points ago

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This article may be of interest to you.

[–]capgras_delusion 5 points6 points ago

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It's nice that men can generally get into taxis while drunk and make it home safely, while drunk (and even sober) women have been raped by taxi drivers everywhere from Brooklyn to Australia to South Africa to Dubai. So if we can't wait for a bus, or take a taxi, or fucking walk, what exactly are we supposed to do? Hire an armed motorcade?

Also, one of the major mistakes of your post is assuming that most rape is stranger rape. It isn't. Most victims know their attackers. I was sexually assaulted twice, once at six, once at 19. The first time was a relative and the second time was my "best friend" whom I thought I could trust. Girls get told all the time to watch their drinks and don't walk down dark alleys and don't get into cars with strangers, but that does fuck all when it's your brother or your best friend or your boyfriend, which is way more likely than the taxi driver in any case.

[–]Mikesizachrist 5 points6 points ago

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try /beatingwomen or the newly founded /rapingwomen

[–]Lastgreatwar 2 points3 points ago

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I had no idea that these existed. There goes my dinner.

[–]Mikesizachrist 4 points5 points ago

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then you definitely haven't heard of /deadjailbait or /sexyabortions

[–]Lastgreatwar 8 points9 points ago

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I dont want to live on this planet anymore.

I feel like such a naive redditor.

[–]marswithrings 1 point2 points ago

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Pedo bear is the only known activist on that side of the spectrum.

[–]buttpirate 33 points34 points ago

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Shut the fuck up. How does her having made a rage comic vaguely about sexual assault make it impossible for her to be sexually assaulted? You're an idiot.

[–]shaggy1054 7 points8 points ago

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Whoops. Asshole.

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 6 points7 points ago

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Thank you for apologizing and not just deleting your comment like most other redditors would. Kudos. You were (arguably rightfully) skeptical, provided with proof, and you changed your stance gracefully and non cowardly.

It's sad that I even have to give you kudos for this, but honestly, I think most redditors would have been far too stubborn to admit they were wrong, and would have just deleted their comment.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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I understand your skepticism, and on one hand I'm flattered that you think my makeup effects are good enough to replicate an actual wound (I've always thought my zombie makeup was pretty fake looking)

I am unsure how to verify my story, short of making a video running a wet cloth over my wounds

[–]2plus1 21 points22 points ago

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Post the police report, black out your personal information.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]buffysummers 37 points38 points ago

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You make me sick. Get a fucking life.

[–]ItsNotLowT 17 points18 points ago

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What was the guys name? Pussies can't even stand to face the consequences of their words and actions, even when they turned out to be completely wrong and completely hurtful.

[–]Mr_Big_Stuff 21 points22 points ago

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[–]MercurialMadnessMan 6 points7 points ago

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Thank you so much for saving this.

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 54 points55 points ago

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[–]MercurialMadnessMan 43 points44 points ago

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Fuck you, I'll be the one to say that's fucked up on many levels and not worth the effort. Don't believe the story? Downvote and move on.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]blow_hard 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, but she did.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I felt a little sick even raising the point, but I was looking through your post history to see if there was any way I could help you and I came across it...

Regardless, I wish you all the best.

[–]glassuser 4 points5 points ago

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There are rotten people out there. Some of them commit rape, some of them make false accusations of rape. Both destroy lives. It sucks, but people should be on the lookout for both.

[–]Aikidi 3 points4 points ago

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Except that the reddit post in question in no way risked anyone's livelihood since she did not identify her assailant. All that was at risk was link karma, and we decided that link karma was more valuable.

[–]ceteris 3 points4 points ago

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wow I'm so glad she won your approval.

[–]Pravusmentis 20 points21 points ago

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I don't think you did anything wrong, don't ever let anyone tell you it was your fault.

[–]emote_control 23 points24 points ago

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Upvoting to get this message out there. I'm sick of the victim-blaming around here.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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If this was a dude talking about a false rape accusation or even actual rape, nobody would doubt him or say he was making it up. Instead of expressing sympathy to him for being a victim, most redditors would use sexist language against the false accuser/rapist.

I am sorry for what you went through, OP.

[–]Pandaman222 12 points13 points ago

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Anyone able to do this to another human being is the lowest scum of the earth. If anything would aid you in your mental/physical recovery I'm sure that someone here on Reddit will help.

Hopefully whoever did this to you gets caught and spends the rest of their pitiful life behind bars getting what's coming to them.

[–]dtsupra30 16 points17 points ago

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I hope it was reported and I'm glad you made it out alive

[–]lockportjazzshoes 13 points14 points ago

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Thanks for being brave and speaking out in the face of something terrible. Best of luck to you.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points ago

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Further information: He did not get so far as to actually penetrating me as I fought and a car drove by. He did manage to undress me, and beat me. I did not see his face, nor did I notice many defining features so the detectives pretty well told me it is unlikely he will be caught.

I post this because I have had countless people tell me to carry a weapon, or pepper spray, or to scream louder, or to not walk around by myself. I even had a detective tell me that I was probably targeted because I didn't have a destination; I was just going for a walk.

It seems ridiculous that a young woman who lives alone is expected to stay inside unless she has to leave, and arm herself (with weapons or bullhorns and the like) when she does leave.

In the end, my attacker did this. I did not bring this upon myself, and I resent that we live in a society where women people are required to be sheltered and live in fear to protect themselves from violence.

[–]klarth 28 points29 points ago

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Lots o' misogynists in here today. I'm sorry you have to put up with this.

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 106 points107 points ago* 

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Rapist are mentally imbalanced individuals. Of course your attacker was the one at fault. I hope that this isn't even an argument. But it's entirely okay to carry around pepper spray just in case something happens. There are messed up people in this world. None of us are safe from everything.

People in this thread are accusing you of lying about this story. Regardless, this post was a poor choice, in light of the other submissions you have made in the past.

And, regardless, I hope you find the help you need. Either as a rape victim, or a liar.


There are over 8000 subscribers in /r/toronto.

Please make a post and mention what neighbourhood you were in, so that a large number of people may be warned of this incident.

(Assuming this was recent)

[–]D-Evolve 34 points35 points ago

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From what you said, the detective didn't say "Young women should stay indoors". He just noted the fact that your attacker probably noticed you were 'wandering' which meant no one was expecting you at the other end, and most likely, no one was expecting you home any time soon. More time to do his heinous act.

I'm not trying to lessen the impact of what's happened, but I think the detective was just being a 'cop' and made a logic statement without really thinking about how it sounds.

[–]slix00 2 points3 points ago

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Did the person in the car that drove by do anything, or did this piece of shit just run away when he saw it?

[–]tiki_man_ca 21 points22 points ago

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I completely agree with you. You did nothing wrong why should you have to change. A friend of mine was raped recently and she was dressed in much the same manner. Its a sad world. I give you all the best and hope for a quick road to recovery.

[–]rileyrileyriley 12 points13 points ago

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It is so true. It IS a good idea to be prepared, but my gosh it should not be expected. Totally not on par with sexual assault but a little over a month ago I was attacked by a neighbors pit bull while walking in my neighborhood. I guess it broke the chain it was on in the front yard. Anyway it took me down pretty hard and ripped into my thigh, had to go to the hospital, 19 stitches, it sucked.

I dont mind some helpful tips on how to avoid such a thing in the future, but people telling me Oh I should have done this, I should have done that - really pissed me off. I had no reason to believe that going on a walk in the morning in my neighborhood would mean that I was going to be mauled by a darn aggressive dog, and it is not something I should have been expected to control. I DID manage to get the dog off of me, because NO ONE CAME TO HELP ME, so I did all I dang could once I was down on the ground.

Argh, pisses me off still.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Please tell me that dog was destroyed.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rileyrileyriley 1 point2 points ago

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Nooooooo. He is still around. I feel bad for him. :( I mean I am pretty sure he was part of a dog fighting ring.

[–]durable 9 points10 points ago

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....and arm herself (with weapons or bullhorns and the like) when she does leave.

I agree with everything you said except for this. I am reasonably able to protect myself without weapons in the neighborhood I live in. However if I am in a situation where I think I would not able to I will carry a weapon or travel with other people. This is a fact of life that will never change.

[–]coderjoe 7 points8 points ago

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I agree with you completely and I admire your strength in speaking out about these sorts of false "justifications". (For lack of knowing what else to call them)

I wish you the very best, hope your message is heard by many, and that your attacker is caught.

[–]DazBlintze 3 points4 points ago

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That's terrible. I lived in Toronto for 12 years (King and Bathurst area) and always felt safe there. I feel terrible that this happened to you. That person is a creep and a coward. I don't understand the mindset of someone who would do something like this to another person. Surveillance cameras are everywhere now; perhaps your assailant was captured on one while fleeing.

That being said, I was always told that if you yell "Fire!" people are more likely to come to your rescue than if you yell "Rape!" or "Help!".

[–]Travesura 14 points15 points ago

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Damn, I would feel stupid if someone yelled "FIRE" and I ran out of my house with a fire extinguisher, instead of my trusty Model 1911.

If you are in my neighborhood yell, HELP, so that I can bring the proper tool.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Fire Extinguishers make a better weapon that you would think.

Frost Burns, temporary blinding, marking with foam, choking with CO2....etc.

[–]zzorga 16 points17 points ago

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Extreme blunt force trauma....

[–]Travesura 6 points7 points ago

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Unfortunately, I only have a dry chemical extinguisher. All I could do is cover the perp with baking soda (thus curing his GERD), or smack him with it.

Now the .45, on the other hand, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM! Totally badass.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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It comes out quite cold and would choke the shit out of the person if aimed at the face.

The benefit is that you won't kill them (hopefully) with the fire extinguisher.

[–]kaminix 2 points3 points ago

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As horrible as it is, if you need pepperspray or something like it to stay safe... just get pepperspray?

We can complain all we want on the current situation, but what is there we can do really?

[–]bricksoup 1 point2 points ago

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Giving a person advice is different from blaming the victim or whatever it is you're trying to get at. If I got beat up on the street and a police officer told me why that probably happened, I'd say thanks for the valuable information.

No one says you have to live in fear, or do anything else you don't want to, but most people know that there are risks to any activity and take reasonable measures to prepare themselves. If you consider the fact that all other animal species on earth have to deal with the daily threat of death, you're still amazingly well off.

By the way, it's not the cop's fault that you should carry spray.

[–]seanterisu 5 points6 points ago

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Is it so ridiculous that humans have to resort to learning defense to protect ourselves when alone? In the savanna, if we strayed from the pack we were potential dinner for the wildlife. The only difference now is that our own species is the wildlife.

That said, I hope that this trauma doesn't negatively impact your life. Maybe learn from it by arming yourself and/or taking self-defense classes, but I would not wish PTSD upon anyone.

[–]shuddleston919 4 points5 points ago

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Not sure why you're being downvoted here, but there are a few other viewpoints in this thread that seem viable but are also being downvoted.

It's been thirteen years since i was raped by a man in prison for it. He'll be out next year. Understanding some of the drawbacks of the united states penitentiary system, I see little to any rehabilitation efforts proving to be successful with him. So...

By that time, I will be prepared if we see each other. Having partnered with a few trainers who taught me some basic self-defense, and having a weapon that I'm licensed to carry for self-defense (don't intend to ever carry it regularly). I never hope to ever encounter this individual ever again in my life, but I do understand that if something like that happens, there may be some undesired consequences.

It's my life's resentment that I feel the need to take these precautions just to fucking leave my house. Or to restrict myself from taking long, ambling walks when there's daylight outside. Or to live my life the way I did before the incident happened: carefree. I feel so sorry and frustrated for the OP for these whirling fears and pain, frustration, and mostly, putrid disgust. Disgust that people are capable are such a task.

However, I have grown immensely in this process. My viewpoint towards humanity is- I believe- much more mature, humorous, strong and healthy than it was before. I can say that this is probably part of the process of simple maturity- but learning what I did, I feel that I definitely stick up for myself and others. In actively doing this it keeps us from being the ones who were eaten because they simply strayed.

And, I would love thinning the herd, if given a chance.

[–]BMW1292 5 points6 points ago

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Ok, so everyone keeps talking about anti-rape activists. Does that mean there is a group of people out there who support rape publicly?

[–]bright_ephemera 20 points21 points ago

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Judging by some of the comments on this thread, yes.

[–]freakscene 9 points10 points ago

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From the OP:

And now I'm angry that people seem to think that the correct way to respond to circumstantial evidence that someone may not be telling the truth about an assault is to wish them grievous harm, and actual rape.

There are some scary people on here. And they somehow think they're the good guys. If I were her I'd be buying a shotgun right about now.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I read somewhere that rapists target women who look shy and dress shy.

[–]Shampyon 17 points18 points ago

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According to John Hamlin of the University of Minnesota Duluth:

Myth: Only certain kinds of people get raped. It cannot happen to me.

FACT: Rapists act without considering their victim's physical appearance, dress, age, race, gender, or social status. Assailants seek out victims who they perceive to be vulnerable. The Orange County Rape Crisis Center has worked with victims from infancy to ninety-two years of age and from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds.

I have read other studies that suggest that yes, women who don't look as asssertive (sexually of physically) are more likely to be attacked because the rapist sees them as an easy target.

[–]Unattended_Bag 9 points10 points ago

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I don't have anything comforting to say. This sucks and is so wrong.

[–]Curtch 7 points8 points ago

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You really shouldn't even have to be concerned with what you were wearing. I mean I know it might reduce the chances of attracting a rapist but even if you are in a bikini, that should not make you in any way guilty or responsible for a rapists actions. Those fuckin' cowards...

[–]glassuser 4 points5 points ago* 

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Not at all. While it's wise to exercise preventative measures within reason, and they often have a clear reduction in the likelihood of becoming a victim of rape, the fault for it rests solely on the rapist.

Edit: who the fuck are the worthless rape apologists downvoting this?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]mikemcg 52 points53 points ago

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Gets sexually assaulted, turns a bad situation into an educational one.

Fake or not, it's always good to be reminded that bad shit happens.

[–]traken 22 points23 points ago

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Gets sexually assault, posts to multiple sub-reddits.

I think karma is the real rapist here.

[–]e_o 8 points9 points ago

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I'm so sorry. On behalf of all of us, I hope the shithead gets it and that you get on the road to recovery as soon as possible.

[–]Caitlionator 3 points4 points ago

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I'm sorry that you were targeted this way. I'm so, so happy you got away more or less safely. You seem to be handling it well. You're lucky. Keep yourself safe and keep living life.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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The fuck is shit like this doing on reddit. No sources, No info, just a story and an unverifiable picture.

I really fucking hope you are not doing this for karma.. that would be some fucked up shit.

[–]lysa_m 29 points30 points ago

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"No sources, no info": http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/kc2ry/hey_twox_i_am_the_girl_who_was_lynched_for_lying/

Frankly, "No sources, no info" is almost universally accepted around here – except with respect to rape claims.

It's shit like this, reddit … .

[–][deleted] ago* 

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[deleted]

[–]betch 27 points28 points ago

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What the fuck? Anti-rape activism leads to false rape accusations? Amateur special effects makeup all the sudden professional looking? She did make a video of herself rubbing a wet towel over it. I don't see why it's so hard to believe that some people get attacked.

[–]icandothat 3 points4 points ago

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People, cops included, just feel like they have to say SOMETHING. Part of finding a criminal is determining motive and logic for picking one target over another. He's just doing his job out loud instead of in his head, it's not personal. I don't think, given your explanation, that anyone would suggest that you brought it upon yourself. Society isn't bad, humans are. Violence goes hand in hand with humans. One of the first stories in the bible is Cain killing Abel out of jealousy. I'm very sorry this happened to you and I wish you well in your recovery. I hope that enough people respond with well wishes and kindness to help restore your faith in the rest of us humans.

[–][deleted] ago* 

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[deleted]

[–]freakscene 85 points86 points ago

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Apparently she was getting death threats. If it were me I'd have deleted it too. There are a lot of psycho people in this thread.

[–]falsehood 37 points38 points ago

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I don't know if deleting the account is an admission of anything but the hatemail she was probs getting: http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/kc2ry/hey_twox_i_am_the_girl_who_was_lynched_for_lying/

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 10 points11 points ago

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She didn't delete her account.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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[–]blow_hard 5 points6 points ago

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Well, unfortunately your feelings are bullshit.