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[-]Need a recommendation for a jogging stroller please, to be used primarily for running. Bob revolution or bob ironman or other? thanks
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morecheckout the mountain buggy stroller at www.thedapperbaby.com
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[-]coming to portland next week with my 5 year old daughter for a "girls trip" will be there for 4 days, what should we do? coming from Seattle
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morepowell's (of course), rhododendron garden (you won't be sorry), med food at nicolas's, thai at pok pok, omsi, and most important--the penny arcade on belmont!!! also she might like eating pizza while watching a movie at one of the movie theatres (on hawthorne for example).
[ Reply | More ]also drive down the columbia gorge and look at multnomah falls and the other waterfalls! if you are ambitious you can go all the way to stonehenge. you could also take a trip up to the overlook hotel on mount hood and throw snowballs and eat at the lodge restaurant. or stop in hood river and watch the windsurfers and have some pizza or a burger.
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[-]What are Seattle's best areas for raising kids? Not just good schools, but also parks, playgrounds, kids classes, libraries, etc. TIA!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreWe live in Madrona and it a great place for raising kids. We just moved here from Brooklyn so it feels a little suburban for my taste (although) it is very close to downtown. There are kids art classes, a playground, park (with a beach) by the lake, and a tiny library that has story time for toddlers. Also a very family friendly pizza place that my kids love. I have found all of Seattle to be very kid-friendly but I can't wait to move back to Brooklyn in a few years!
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[-]Am I the only one who thinks the Deceptively Delicious cookbook is insane? When I read how she brought in brownies with some vegetable in them to her daughter's preschool class, I almost went ballistic. What if some kid had an allergy?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI think it is simply misguided- the truth is, the way most of these vegetables have been bred- they have very little nutritional value, then you cook the life out of them- it seems like such an old-fashioned way of thinking. Vegetables for vegetables sake- when you have eliminated the fiber, vitamins and antioxidants- are just simple carbs. So weird.
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[-]WWYD? Our neighbors who became our good friends are going through a divorce. Now, the wife is constantly critiquing my marriage, my kids, how my husband is, etc and it is driving me crazy. What would you do?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreCreate some distance! Does she think you are favoring her ex-husband? Our neighbors also went through a divorce. We were friends with both of them. The woman was cheating on the man and then refused to go to counseling... husband was heartbroken. They had just finished building a home together in the country! Woman moved out of the apartment, so we would have the husband over for dinner. He was so lonely, we weren't trying to take sides or anything. Made the wife furious though.
[ Reply | More ]I have no idea-they are lovely people but frankly DH and I could never figure out what they had in common. She's kind of attacking everything-said my DS trashed her DD's room (he didn't), my DH has trouble saying "NO" and she said that is bad, crap like that-no one has moved out yet. This is awful.
[ Reply | More ]Living through it, I just don't think it is as clear cut as one is cheating and won't go to counseling. There are two sides, always.
[ Reply | More ]Oh I don't doubt it. They got married young (mid-20s), got thrown into the hell of building a home from the ground up, and the wife still liked to go out and party. I think she just felt tied down to early--and her dh wanted to start having kids. I don't think she is "bad" or anything. The DH was just kind of stunned when he found out about the cheating and that she was leaving.
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Why would she critique YOUR kids or YOUR husband..I can see talking down her own, but yours? You need to stop talking with her about anything but weather until she gets her head back together. If she wants to discuss her broken life, fine, you are all ears, if she needs to shit down on your parade, tell he, sorry but I am all out of time today!
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[-]Seattle moms: what school would you choose? Son is being offered spot at Lowell. Our neighborhood school is Bryant. Lowell seems like great opportunity, but would be inconvenient, has no before/after school care, and there's no guarantee that our younger child will get in in two years. Bryant is convenient and we hear good things, but may not be enough for super bright kid. Thoughts?
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[-]How bad would it be to get a trampoline with side netting for my 3 & 6 yo?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Morei think it would be great, just make sure there is ALWAYS an adult supervising and keeping them from getting too rough in their play. trampoline is my kids FAVORITE activity and the people who shriek not to get them should not let anyone have a swimming pool, either. they key is proper supervision at all times.
[ Reply | More ]American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that trampolines never be used. Friend who is a pediatric orthopedist knows why....
[ Reply | More ]Have you considered an inground trampoline? My sister used to have one and it was awesome! If you were really safety concious you could do an inground trampoline plus a safety net.
[ Reply | More ]This seems like a safer option... http://suzysaid.com/index.php?page=stories&family=favorites&display=4504
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Our baby nurse was amazing, knowledgeable, and very supportive. She travels nationwide, so I'm sure she'd go to Seattle. Her contact info is on her web site www.gibsonnewbornservices.com. Good luck and congratulations!
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[-]20 wks pregnant and eating like crazy, I think I gained 5 lbs. this week alone. Craving walnuts, radicchio, endive, sardines and other fish. Should I try to slow it down a bit e.g. cut out sugar and empty calories?
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careful - I gained a lot of weight eating nuts & wound up with a nut allergic child (it is unclear as to whether or not my nut consumption caused allergy, but it has certainly made me feel terribly guilty)
[ Reply | More ]According to the hospital based nutritionist I saw regularly while pregnant the connection between a mom's consumption of nuts and a nut allergy in the baby has been totally de-bunked. Nuts are great for pregos. But watch the weight! I gained 50 lbs with my first and 40 with my second (the hormones made me SO hungry) and it's an absolute bitch to lose. Awful. My only suggestion is eat as much lean protein and fiber as possible to fill you up.
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I gained a lot of weight and ate well and worked out. But my mom and sisters all did when they were pregnant so I already knew. You have so much to worry about don't worry about your weight. Congrats on the bun in the oven!
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[-]We are looking for an architect to design a (small) house for us in the suburbs. Any recommendations ? We looked all summer and couldn't find something we really liked, so rather than buying somebody else's junk we decided that it might be a good idea to design a house that we really like. Anyone BTDT? Is this a terrible plan? TIA
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreAre you looking to start from scratch, makeover something already built or willing to do a total teardown? What suburban area are you looking to? Availability of undeveloped buildable lots in the NYC area is pretty limited and often a teardown of a crappy house on a great lot is the way to go. In any case I think you should get an architect on board, at least for consultation purposes before proceeding in any direction. There are alot of things to consider, and if there are any complicating site development issues in your chosen path, a landscape architect is definitely worth considering getting on board. Architects are great for designing houses but they lose their expertise when they step outside of the structure ie. siting, grading, spat...
[ Reply | More ]Its a plan that will require a lot of effort on your part. 2 paths. (1) Find a lot (which may already have a house on it), find an architect, develop plans, put those plans out for bid, pick a contractor, etc. (2) Find a builder who builds the kind of stuff you like. That builder may own lots or will help you find one./ It would be way easier to buy an existing house and modify it somewhat.
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[-]Thinking of driving w/my 7 y.o. dd from Seattle to NE Oregon to see an old friend; it's a 7 hour trip. Anyone have experience driving that far and over the pass w/ just their kid? I'm trying to decide whether it's too much to take on and if we should fly instead. BTW, although I'm from here originally, I'm visiting from NYC and don't drive much.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI've done 7+ hour drives with my 6 y/o DD a few times - NY to NH, mostly. For us, flying isn't really an option (closest airports in NH are over an hour away from final destination, so flying + renting a car takes as much time as just getting in a car and driving and is a PITA). I wouldn't go for just a weekend, I only do that drive for a stay of 5 or more days. DD deals well, sleeps sometimes, chatters constantly when awake, and only rarely asks for a DVD. Just keep an eye on the weather and you'll be fine.
[ Reply | More ]7yr old girl stop every hour and a half. 7 yr old boy stop every hour (for about ten minutes). Look up car games to play like "I spy". You can also bring along a portable DVD player for your child.
[ Reply | More ]no need to stop that often with a DD - one long break for lunch, gas, stretch legs should be enough. otherwise a 7 hour drive turns into 9 because a "10 minute stop" is never less than 20. I do drives that long 4x every summer with a now 8 y/o DD and very rarely need to stop more than once.
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[-]Has anyone made the move from NYC to Seattle? My husband has been offered a job there, and I'm wondering what to expect, especially in terms of public schools, quality of life, diversity and affordability.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More^^Sorry, hit enter. Continuing on, the transition totally depends on how you want to live. If you stayed in NYC, did you plan to live in the city or move the the burbs when your kids got to school age? If you planned to move out of the city, then you go to the Eastside here in Seattle (east of Lake Washington), where they have Bellevue and Issaquah school districts, which which are both great. Houses in those towns are about $700k+ for a standard 4 bedroom (Issaquah to start, Bellevue probably at $1M or above). There is also Mercer Island which is in the middle of Lake Washington which is basically a Scarsdale equivalent -- very pricey, but probably one of the top 20 school districts in the country. Mercer pricing is maybe a 20% disco...
[ Reply | More ]^^Continuing on, if you had planned to live in the city and you have small children, then you want to live in the Queen Anne section of Seattle, the hill just behind the Space Needle. Close to downtown, great views, great community, great schools through grade 5 (even though its Seattle Public Schools, it's zoned for Queen Anne only, and it's an affluent area with high parental involvement). Think Brooklyn Heights if there was no Manhattan. Smaller Craftsman style-houses, typically from 2000-2500 square feet that range from $600k to $1.25M generally. After 5th grade, many people go private, which costs about $20k per year right now. All in all, when you factor in the fact that there is no state income tax, I'd say the cost of living is ...
[ Reply | More ]Queen Anne is white. Not at all diverse and the Seatle public schools are in horrific shape. Bellevue is the place to be and houses do not start at $1 million.
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[-]Hey Seattle Moms! We are moving to the Kirland/Bellevue area. I'm 4 months pg with 2nd dc and looking for a good OB nearby. I already know it needs to be a scheduled C-section. Do any of you know of someone great?
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[-]What are the qualities of your best friend that you love? Do you have a good story that illustrates how you went out of the way to be a good friend? Are most best friends childhood friends?
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI think the older friends are a bit closer to my heart but the friends I spend most of my time with and know i can rely on are those I made as an adult. My neighbor and I know that if we have an emergency and time of day or night we can call the other for help with staying with the kids or pretty much with help with anything.
[ Reply | More ]My best friends are college friends. But I also have 4 close elementary school friends that are important to me. I also have my first job best friends. And now a lot of mommy friends. And book club friends. The qualities I love are 1)they get me. 2) we have things in common, 3) they're fun to have good conversations with and if I ever needed someone to support me in a rough time, they'd be there for me. Oh - and they make me feel good about myself. I've watched people's kids, taken friends on vacation, been there for them when they've gone through rough times, and listened when they needed me to. And let them crash at my place when needed. Usual friend things.
[ Reply | More ]I had a friend (growing up) that was very poor and I use to take my allowance and take her out to eat at Bob's Big Boy. I was only about 11 at the time but they had no money b/c her mom and dad were both doing drugs and the dad was in jail. As soon as I got my allowance for cleaning (every Saturday) I picked her up and we rode our bikes to get lunch. One day I went to take her to lunch and she was gone. I have not seen her since, I think mom probably got arrested and they were put in foster care.
[ Reply | More ]my dearest friends are college friends. i have a couple of childhood friends whom i'm still close with but we have less in common. my dearest friends do not judge, don't care that we are all in very different places in life and will always be there for me (as I for them). for example, 2 of them are single and childless but still came to spend a day at the playground with me and my kids bc they wanted to see me and w dh's travel schedule and work and the kids i haven't had any time to hang out.
[ Reply | More ]i have four gals and one guy i would consider best friends - all from single work life after college - they are all very different but great people. Here is what they all have in common: like to laugh and have fun; can have some cocktails; keep themselves up/care about appearance; only one takes herself too seriously; they all get me and love me for who i am too :> my life would SUCK without them!
[ Reply | More ]i think most best friends tend to be college friends and maybe even someone from high school. Most of my good friends are from high school/college/grad school but my best friend is from kindergarten. I feel very lucky. When you are friends as long as my best friend and I are it's almost like a sibling relationship. We just know each other so well and are just connected and it's not a connection I can put into words very well.
[ Reply | More ]I have known my best friend since I was 3. My favorite qualities in her are her hilarious sense of humor, her down-to-earth personality and her eternal optimism in spite of some hardships she has faced in her life (mostly dysfunctional family stuff). I helped her get a job at my company in NYC when she needed to move out of the south and get away from a toxic relationship. She is still with that company and has done really well there and is now happily married with a baby in another state. We still talk on the phone all the time just like we did in middle school. She is like a second sister to me. I feel very lucky because many of my closest friends are from when I was a baby or in grade school and we live all over. I am 39.
[ Reply | More ]I don't have one best friend, I guess 2 or 3 from college. They are great friends because they always make our friendship a priority. We all get busy with life sometimes but we make a point of calling each other, connecting. We live in the US and Europe now and we make trips just to see each other. One doesn't have DC yet and isn't really into DC yet, but she still makes a point of playing with them, buying them presents, and listening to our boring DC stories.
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[-]Does anyone know any marketing types? Are they "intense"? I have a friend from college who I used to love seeing until she got a marketing job and now she is intense, everything has to be her way, she knows "it all" and her DH is now thinking about divorcing her because she would rather fly around the world to trade shows than be around for the DCs school activities, etc. And if he does something 'wrong' with the kids in her eyes, she flips out.
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her kids are definitely acting out alot now that she travels pretty much every week and her DH is left holding the bag.
[ Reply | More ]that's sad. My friend is a Dr and both parents are surgeons. She stopped working after her 3rd dc was born since the first 2 acted out so much and she hated the idea that her absence had anything to do with it
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it is-and we always end up picking up one kid or the other all the time because he's caught being late or we have to watch one while he goes to pick up the other-it's one thing when it's an emergency-we've all been there but for them it is now a lifestyle choice and somehow we are part of it. We have our own kids to pick up and drive places. We got our older DC tickets to a baseball for his birthday and we would have missed it if we would have picked up their kid because he wouldn't have picked him up until after the game started.
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I don't know many marketing types period, but the couple I do know are not intense at all, nice and laidback actually. I thought that it was the PR people who were supposedly "intense."
[ Reply | More ]DH and I both work. We stagger our schedules so that one drops off and one picks up. Usually I pick up and DH is rarely home for dinner when I do. Funny story-he came home early one time and the kids were like 'what are you doing here?" I thought it was funny. Anyway, my friend was upset that we don't eat together. I was like and "how do you do that when you are in Singapore, Australia, etc?" she can be completely unreasonable sometimes.
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I am a marketing type. Would fly back and forth from Japan every other month. I was raging bitch for 10 years. Once I had DS, I decided that I needed to change my life, turn down that part of my personality, get some serious therapy and be grateful for the family I have. It's not because of the marketing part but rather the intensity part.
[ Reply | More ]this happened to her after she got the job-she was okay actually when she was SAHM.
[ Reply | More ]I just think the stress of the job got to me. I was always in the mode of "fixing the problem" at work that it would bleed over to my home life. For me, I could not judge a high pressure job with a family. Now, I work part-time in a better environment and am home for dinner most nights.
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My DH is in marketing and he is not intense...I mean there are times he gets stressed like any job, but he is not like what you described AT ALL. Although some of his colleagues are...but again like any job, you have intense people. I think that it is more of a personality type with your friend.
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[-]Exactly what is "unschooling" and how is letting your child call the shots in their education supposed to help them??
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreits based on the theory that children have a natural, inborn desire to learn and that it should be encouraged and parents should take advantage of the direction a child's learning takes to teach them about life and their world along with basic education like math, science, english, history, culture and language. it is used by people who want to allow their child to develop into a very independent and curious person. It can work if you are very creative and have a lot of time to plan and schedule activities, but I homeschool and just use basic curriculum as well as lessons I plan to supplement whatever they are learning at the time. I have friends who do it though, and I can answer any questions you have.
[ Reply | More ]I have a couple friends for whom it worked out great, but they were total geeks whose own expectations were much, much higher than anything a teacher or parent would put out there. I think they also had a lot of discipline--that is, they would make themselves learn things they thought were important, even if they didn't really enjoy them. For most kids I don't think it would be a good idea though. I think most unschoolers actually do offer a certain amount of structure--more than has been presented in the media.
[ Reply | More ]The concern I have with "unschooling" is not what it would look like if it's done well. It's what it would look like if it's done poorly. The advantage of a good, standard curriculum is that it has some inherent value even in the hands of a weak teacher. In unschooling, you're entirely at the mercy of the parents' competence.
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[-]How many of you picked out your engagement ring as opposed to those of you whose spouse made it a "surprise'?
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreNo engagement ring. Neither of us was into the idea. We picked out the wedding rings together, platinum bands. I guess some of you will be horrified to hear that we bought them online.
[ Reply | More ]DH asked me when we started discussing marriage and I told him I'd prefer a really classic ring like...you know...just a round stone in a simple platinum or white gold (dont like yellow) setting, the rest I'll leave up to you. he ended up getting me the Tiffany setting (told me yrs later he went with his MOM to pick it out because he was that clueless!!!!), and I am in love with my ring. secretly that was the one I wanted, but I wouldve never said so, I thought it was too demanding or s/t.
[ Reply | More ]I picked out the cut of stone I wanted (cushion), he surprised me with the setting. It's not what I would have chose, but it's a big diamond and a beautiful ring, so I'm happy with it, can't complain. I would like to eventually get it reset, but I think if I bring it up it would break his heart.
[ Reply | More ]DH here- I worked with a jeweler. I knew that my (now) wife liked rings with three stones so the jeweler put together several "sets" for me to look at. I narrowed it down to one, she put it in a temporary setting. I proposed and let dw know the setting was temporary so that she could put her own touches into the design. Everybody happy.
[ Reply | More ]I was surprised with a gorgeous antique ring that he picked up in London months before he actually proposed. It was just my style. The fact that he was able to pick out something that suited me so perfectly was further proof that he knew me so well, and made saying "yes" that much easier.
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[-]My mother told me this weekend that I needed to be submissive to my husband. Am I the only one who is thinking "WTF"?
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We need more context to answer this. And I'm about as assertive and feminist as they come.
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i would want to know if that is just her core belief on how "ladies" act, or if she saw something specific from seeing you together that made her suggest that. you seem pretty normal, so maybe your mom is just old-fashioned? i've actually heard similar kind of comments from MIL, not my own mom though.
[ Reply | More ]old fashioned; out dated; nice but insane-never wants me to go anywhere by myself "need an escort"; when I bought my own house, she wanted me to find a friend to come live with me; always asks "and what does your husband think of this? does he agree?" like I can't think on my own; DH just laughs and says not to let it get to me-he doesn't want a doormat or a clingy wife
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If you are the crazy mom that doesn't trust her husband to pick up a play kitchen on his own, she may have a point.
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Wha?? This is ridiculous. If someone posted, "I'm a serial killer every other Monday, what do you think?" would you post such an insipid call to moderation in all things? Just so we're clear, "submissive" means that you defer to someone, that you're obedient to him. It's not the same thing as "accomodating" or "ready to compromise."
[ Reply | More ]Accomodating and ready to compromise would be moderation. In other words you agree with my point. Wha?? Exactly
[ Reply | More ]"Submissive" doesn't mean "accomodating" or "ready to compromise" at all. One cannot moderate submission just like one cannot moderate obedience. If you're obedient, you always defer. If you're submissive, you always defer. Check the dictionary for further clarification on this point.
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So when I was home on maternity leave, I turned on one of those morning shows while nursing. They had a SAHM vs WOHM showdown where they had this SAHM saying that all woman are obligated to stay home, and that they should be submissive to their DHs because they provide for them, and that they should enjoy doing household chores for the men. She also said that women call her all the time and say how fabulous her DH is and she loves hearing it. What.a.freak.
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No idea what exactly your mother meant but I do think that there are a lot of independent women who don't let their dh's take care of things they should. I really do believe men lot to take care of certain things and you. It's how they express love. If you don't give men the opportunity to do that, it can cause problems. You don't have to be all "omg, save me from that ant you big strong man" but there letting a guy open a mayo jar now and then isn't going end equal rights. That said, the term submissive sounds horrible.
[ Reply | More ]It's an interesting point. As a manager, you are suppose to make others feel good about their work and feel appreciated. You don't compete for credit and you give praise out when it's deserved. You don't shame or humiliate anyone. From a woman in the workforce, that is acceptable. But if you do the same thing to your spouse, you are seen as submissive.
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is that why white men like them so much, because real white women are too uppity, so they go for the next best thing that knows how to keep their trap shut?
[ Reply | More ]umm - can we PLEASE leave the asian theory out of this? this is just a stereotype and i'm so sick of asians being bashed on UB. most of us are totally sane and normal AMERICANS. and i think there are a lot of women who are in the older generation who think like OP's mom-they dont have to be asian.
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There is this lovely book out called "Love and Respect" It is based on the theory that what women need is love, and what men need is respect. But submission is a form of respect, and it is easy to do. Just let him have his way with no argument of small things that matter more to him than you. He will feel that you are submitting and going along with it, but really he just cares more than you do
[ Reply | More ]Stepford Mom lives and breathes. I imagine her typing this with her eyes glazed over.
[ Reply | More ]Are you serious? I am not a stepford mom, but I dont deny that appearing to be submissive and occasionaly catering to my husband helps my marriage. What about all the posts from women who 'force' themselves to have sex with dh even though they 'never' want to? Is that not a form of submission? I don't make sacrifices in my needs or wants, I have my own career, and I am very happy, but my marriage is a good one because my dh always feels like the king of his castle. Ego is important to men, if you dont think so, you have a rude awakening coming.
[ Reply | More ]I'm glad that I'm married to a 21st-century guy who thinks it's normal for us to be on equal footing. Sometimes we go with his idea, sometimes we go with my idea, but we take each other's opinions seriously - not because I'm stroking his ego or because he's humoring my pretty little self, but because we actually respect each other's brains. Imagine that.
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np: Shouldn't both the husband and wife concede on small things that matter more to the other person? That's kindness, not submission. And the phrase "king of the castle" creeps me out. None of the wonderful men in my life (husband or father) base their manhood on whether the women fall in line. They base it on how well they take care of their families.
[ Reply | More ]np: yes, both husbands and wifes should concede on the small things but I've found that there are far too many independent women who simply won't do that because they think it degrades them. really, it degrades their relationship because they have to ALWAYS have the upper hand. It's like they must be the king of the castle themselves and that is just as wrong.
[ Reply | More ]OR: yes this is right, but my dh feels like the "king of the castle" not because we "fall in line" but because we appreciate him for all he does. I have a job, but I work part time and all my money is mine, he really brings home the bacon. I show him I appreciate him by taking good care of him, our children, our house. He shows me he appreciates me by noticing and appreciating my hard work, making me feel pretty, letting me know he is still attracted to me, planning little surprises for us. Its give and take, I call what I do for him love, he calls it respect.
[ Reply | More ]I'm sure what you are saying is lovely but it sounds weird to me. I'm thinking it's just in how your are phrasing it. My dh and I are equal partners, including our income. We know when something is important to the other person. We are very appreciative of each other. He enjoys feeling like he can take care of me. I enjoy feeling protected by him. It's not very feminist of me, but I like a man that makes me feel safe and wanted. I know he also likes a woman that makes him feel strong.
[ Reply | More ]OR: I agree with you and in essence, what you said is what I was trying to say. Its hard to say it without sounding weird. We have a very traditional family and we are very happy. We are both traditional people, even though I consider myself a feminist and would never live in subjugation to a man, I dont see a problem with being submissive once in a while. It goes along with enjoying the feeling of being taken care of and protected by a man. I enjoy that too.
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"Far too many independent women"? Now I'm even more creeped out! Needing the upper hand isn't about being "independent," it's about being selfish and immature. The problem with many marriages isn't that women are independent, it's that one or both people are completely narcissistic or immature.
[ Reply | More ]I thought that was better than saying uptight B*tches but you are right, it is mostly narcissism. As a society, we tend to blame men more than women but there is a trend among women who have a high-income and often marry later in life that have yet to figure out that marriage means they aren't in charge of everything anymore. I have meant plenty of couples where the problem was 100% the women refusing to give up any control. I have seen plenty where it was the man's fault (usually cheating).
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When I was in my early 30s and having one short lived relationship after another, my mother told me that perhaps I should be more reserved and not as assertive. I was shocked, considering her personality. Anyway, I kept being myself and shortly after that met my future husband, who loves me (mostly) just the way I am.
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