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[+] What would you take from this situation, how would you feel and how would you change ... 21 replies
- Np: I've never practiced in NY, so I don't know the technicalities but an oral contract for the sale of real estat is NOT usually binding. That probably applies to just P&S and not your deal to get an unspecified % of sale price but I'd say your deal was still to vague to pursue. Do seek full...
Talk : : April 11, 2012
What would you take from this situation, how would you feel and how would you change going forward: I've been a wohm real estate broker in NYC for overn
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.11.12, 06:43 PM Flag ]-
uh I would be super pissed off. And I would never trust anyone w/ out a contract ever again.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 06:54 PM Flagsue him. seriously. he made a verbal contract. no judge would think you would put in 3 years of time, energy, money, and skills for zero expectation of payback.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 07:01 PM FlagAn oral contract is as binding as a written one (both are "verbal," people!), just harder to prove what the terms were. If suing is not an option because of reputation or cost, ask him what the other broker is going to charge, point out that you had an unwritten contract, and that you expect him to honor it either by working out a way for you to be the broker (you may have to compromise on fee) or to pay you for your investment as he makes the sales.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 07:17 PM Flag^^ And what I would change going forward is always have a written contract. However, if you know that you're not going to be willing to sue (people breach written contracts routinely), in the future, work out arrangements that protect you, such as you own a certain percentage in return for your work, or payments are made into an escrow account and you either get the promised deal at the end or you get the money, or whatever creative solution you can come up with.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 07:21 PM Flag-
Np: I've never practiced in NY, so I don't know the technicalities but an oral contract for the sale of real estat is NOT usually binding. That probably applies to just P&S and not your deal to get an unspecified % of sale price but I'd say your deal was still to vague to pursue. Do seek full compensation for the work youve done on the basis that you didn't invoice bc of pending deal
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 07:53 PM FlagOR: I thought that was just for the contract between the buyer and seller, but could be wrong. OP should certainly should check with a NY lawyer before any threat to sue. But it sounds like she had a pretty clear agreement that she would do uncompensated work up front in exchange for getting the listings once finished. Not sure that's too vague to pursue (though doesn't sound like she wants to sue, which is probably wiser anyway, given the cost and hassle).
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:13 PM FlagNP: An unwritten agreement to pay a brokerage commission CAN be enforceable in NY, but only if the period of performance is less than one year. Here it was three. But maybe the OP has an unjust enrichment claim and could recover the value of the services she did provide?
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:23 PM FlagDoes the performance have to actaully be completed within a year, or only be capable of being performed within a year. Argghhh, bar exam flashbacks. I'm crawling under the covers. Good luck OP - you are in the right, morally (even if the legal technicalities don't line up right), so do what you can to get something from this guy.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:38 PM Flag
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[+] OK, I am totally into real estate porn: looking at listings, floor plans, photos, pri... 3 replies
- My DH. He likes to fantasy shop for real estate and vacations....
Talk : : April 11, 2012
[+] bored at work. what can I do on the computer to waste time, but not get caught? 3 replies
- Look at real estate on streeteasy...
Talk : : April 11, 2012
[+] What is the one job/industry that you can always break into? I am 35 and my career k... 9 replies
- real estate broker?...
Talk : : April 11, 2012
What is the one job/industry that you can always break into? I am 35 and my career keeps changing. I want a back-up plan. I'm thinking executive assistant, yes?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.11.12, 08:38 AM Flag ]Executive assistants often have experience and looks requirements. You can only "break into" the profession if you're under 30 and traditional cute. The only way you can surmount the looks issue is if you're devoted to the profession and come in with a resume showing extensive experience. This is what I've seen: young and cute newcomer or older woman whose been doing it for eons (and probably came in when she was young and cute.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:50 AM Flag-
Retail sales is a tough one. The good career jobs have the same experience requirement(they want career salespeople). The penny ante barely above minimum wage jobs often hire in the summers and for holiday temporary which might allow you to get your foot in the door. However many retailers are cold about lay-offs for temporary workers: drop you without a thought when you're no longer needed so don't count on it. Starbucks barista: barely above minimum wage and those jobs can be difficult to get because so many college students and people in their 20s want them--you'll face age discrimination in anything having to do with the restaurant industry unless you have loads of experience again. By 35, the competitive edge that you've lost as a result of aging is usually substituted with great experience in whatever industry.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:58 AM Flag
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[+] Is it impossible to break into the NY real estate business? I know it's saturated, bu... 4 replies
- You can definitely do it if you dedicate yourself to it. A lot of people going into real estate b/c they thought they could make their own schedule. WRONG! RE is like owning a small business, you work 24/7...have to be available in evenings and weekends (when the rest of the world get off from their job and are looking at real estate). For people with family, it could be difficult....
Talk : : April 11, 2012
Is it impossible to break into the NY real estate business? I know it's saturated, but there must be room for one more?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.11.12, 08:10 AM Flag ]IN RE you only eat what you kill. Do you have loads of contacts who will be both buying and selling? It can take a while to get your own listings, wn until then you have to be a slave somewhere. Everyone starts somewhere though. It's a bad time to be in RE so maybe it's a good time to get started?
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:11 AM FlagYou can definitely do it if you dedicate yourself to it. A lot of people going into real estate b/c they thought they could make their own schedule. WRONG! RE is like owning a small business, you work 24/7 if you want to succeed. Basically, you have to be available in evenings and weekends (when the rest of the world get off from their job and are looking at real estate). For people with family, it could be difficult.
[ Reply | More ]04.11.12, 08:26 AM Flag
[+] Any finance professionals out there? I am a teacher looking to temp in finance over t... 26 replies
- I teach at an incredibly wealthy school. Some of the most powerful families in finance and real estate in nyc. So, finance mom - keep that in mind when your dc gets a B- on something. Remember, my job sucks and...
- Yeah Finance mom. Thanks for the healthy dose of optimism there. Real life saver you are. If we crashed landed on an island together I wouldn't...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Any finance professionals out there? I am a teacher looking to temp in finance over the summer. I used to work in finance before I went into teaching. I miss the professional decorum. I'm so tired of being around other teachers. Any recommendations of agencies to check into? Or certain companies?
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 06:58 PM Flag ]-
what did you do before teaching and what do you want to do this summer?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:00 PM Flagdirect marketing of insurance and annuities - prudential, aig, chase
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:01 PM Flag-
^^Op again- what I want to do is figure out how to combine my marketing experience in business with my education experience. I just don't know if it's possible this late in the game. I need to increase my earning potential...
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:03 PM Flagso you want to go back in all the way and not just for the summer. your age is kind of relevant.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:05 PM Flagok. gotta go put kids in bed (not in eastern time). if you're gone when i come back, you might try calling those peoople directly at HR. you had relevant experience, so might work. you could also see if they could use you at internal marketing. i knew someone who worked in accounting/finance at pru then went to internal marketing. it was a lot of work, though, and she quit. there has to be placement agency. i posted this for someone else once. i don't know if it's right for you, but they might send you to the right recruiters. http://bristol-consulting.com/leadership.htm also, don't just shoot for the summer. see if you can land something for the long term. just say you went into education for idealism but it was different when you got there but that you have gained experience in training and development, etc. gl.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:09 PM Flag
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lot more professional than those idiots working at school, especially elementary school. OP: sorry you went into it to do good but found that it's a bunch of losers there.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:04 PM Flagop- I get it. I know why you are lol. Teachers are so frumpy. I just miss some of the flash of business....maybe I am just thinking "the grass is greener"
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:06 PM Flagop - Every single teacher at my school is overweight. When I eat healthy they act like I am going ana on them...weird.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:08 PM FlagHere's your problem: they suck, they know you know they suck, and you've figured out at 38 that your job sucks. You're stuck. Hope for the best and try to get and administration job. On the bright side, you're probably not at risk of a permanent layoff. - Finance Mom
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:19 PM FlagYeah Finance mom. Thanks for the healthy dose of optimism there. Real life saver you are. If we crashed landed on an island together I wouldn't want you to be my in the seat next to me. some object lying in our path. "Oh, let's just give up. If no one saves us, we're doomed. Just lay here and die." YEah, I think I might like to try to make it off and survive, but go ahead and lay there and die if you want to.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 07:38 PM Flag
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[+] Ignoring mortgage cost, schooling and real estate taxes, what are the cost comparison... 17 replies
- or tution. A lot of suburbs have crazy taxes, but a lot of people would do public in suburbs but not in city. Anyway, our math was this: 1 car vs 2 (saves $600/month or $7k/year), real estate tax savings of $20k/year (this may be high for CT but low for Westchester...
Talk : : April 10, 2012
Ignoring mortgage cost, schooling and real estate taxes, what are the cost comparisons between staying in Manhattan versus moving to a burb like Greenwich? What do you think maintenance is on say a $2mm apt in they city vs $2mm house, and what are other costs like commuting that you pick up when you move. Alot of people say it really isn't cheaper... I'm curious the factors that go into that cost comparison. Thanks!!
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.10.12, 11:50 AM Flag ]IMO if you ignore mortgage, schooling, and RE taxes and if you don't need childcare your costs will be higher in the burbs.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 11:55 AM FlagIf you have a high income, you get out of NYC income tax. At that hhi I think commuting for $500 a month is not that serious. I think it costs more to buy gas but groceries may be cheaper in the suburbs. Then towns with good recreation departments offer cheaper kids activities. One car plus garage in city is similar to two cars.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 11:59 AM FlagIt may cost more to maintain the house. Really at that level just pick the lifestyle you prefer. it matters more if you can not afford two cars, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:01 PM FlagDon't you get taxed NYC income tax if you live in a CT burb but still work in NYC? What about state tax, which applies?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:02 PM FlagI am pretty sure you would pay less even with Greenwich city tax. I think this is a big savings at a high income and why many hedge fund people live in CT.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:04 PM FlagCPA moms? I was pretty sure you still pay NYC (also NYS?) taxes if live CT but work NYC?
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:05 PM Flag-
^^Most people living outside the City are not subject to NYC personal income tax. However, non-city residents who are Employees of New York City must file Form 1127 and pay taxes each year. The amount is equal to the personal income tax they would owe if they were City residents.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:26 PM Flag
It depends on so many things... If you live in a really high end luxury building where your monthly maintenance is high then the cost of owning a house/property taxes will not seem as bad. If you have a lot of unearned or non-NY income on which you're currently paying NYC and NYS taxes, then moving to CT will be a decent tax savings - not so much if the vast majority is earned in NYC and/or if you move to Westchester or LI. I think the cost of a 2nd car is big, homeowner's insurance will be more. Private schools are cheaper outside NYC - at least $10K/year which for 2 kids is a decent chunk of $. Kids activities are cheaper, but if you're the type to want to join a CC, that's a big expense. Childcare and household help is often more expensive.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:31 PM FlagWe did a lot of this math and we ended up with a $2mm brownstone in harlem. I don't think you can ignore RE taxs or tution. A lot of suburbs have crazy taxes, but a lot of people would do public in suburbs but not in city. Anyway, our math was this: 1 car vs 2 (saves $600/month or $7k/year), real estate tax savings of $20k/year (this may be high for CT but low for Westchester ... we pay only $2k/year in taxes in harlem), rent from downstairs ($24k a year ... we still have 4000 square feet of space so we don't miss it), commuting costs ($6k/year, which is probably light for 2 people). We got to about $60k/year for staying in the city vs. burbs for the lifestyle we'd want in either. Doesn't entirely cover 2 tuitions, but it's very close, and we figured during college and preschool you're still paying those taxes, for two cars, etc. I think you need to figure out what kind of a lifestyle do you want in the city (to make up for not having the big house) vs. what kind of lifestyle in the 'burbs (to make up for commute time and not being in the city). Once you figure out the lifestyles that would make you theoretically indifferent to city vs. burbs, then price it out. The cheaper one is your answer, and if you feel dissapointed in where it points you, you probably weren't honest about the lifestyle tradeoffs for either one.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 01:33 PM Flag
[+] WESTCHESTER/NY moms: I'm a newly single mom about to rent in Westchester. I can't aff... 18 replies
- schools and economically mixed. There are a number of apt complexes along Central Park Avenue - mostly coops and condos, but some rentals. Try Scarsdale Ridge, The Edgemont, Scarsdale Meadows. Look at properties between $0 and $5000 on houlihanlawerence.com (or any other real estate website). GL...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
WESTCHESTER/NY moms: I'm a newly single mom about to rent in Westchester. I can't afford to buy, so I'm looking to rent in the best area for public schooling. I have two dcs, both under 3. Where should I look? Would like to have a 45-minute train commute to NYC, and am hoping to live somewhere that is not too too rich (I want my DCs to grow up comfortably, not being envious of their peers). I like Croton on Hudson, Pocantico Hills, Rye, Eastchester. Any suggestions? Am I missing any good towns? (My favorite is Bxville, but too $$). THANKS!!
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 06:09 PM Flag ]-
OP: I have heard mixed things about the schools. Do you know anyone with dcs there, by any chance?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:11 PM FlagCheck out Edgemont - great schools and economically mixed. There are a number of apt complexes along Central Park Avenue - mostly coops and condos, but some rentals. Try Scarsdale Ridge, The Edgemont, Scarsdale Meadows. Look at properties between $0 and $5000 on houlihanlawerence.com (or any other real estate website). GL
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:03 PM Flag
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OP: I make $120k; about $8000/month (take home) to work with, including child support. I have affordable childcare right now, but depending on where I move, I might have to figure something new out (likely daycare, with my budget). Figure $1200/month for childcare (ex will pay the other $1200).
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:15 PM Flag
Where do you live now? Are you working in NY? How much do you have to spend on rent? What about Forest Hills Queens or Riverdale?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:20 PM FlagOP: I can't move to Queens (have to stay within 30 miles of ex, and he'll be in Riverdale, actually.) I'm staying with my sister an hour north of the city and it's too far for me to commute. I'd like to spend $2100 or less on rent (I have no savings so I'm trying to put a ton away each month.)
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:24 PM FlagWhy not Riverdale then? Do you work? Where did you live when married? I really don't think you will find much in Westchester for 2100 in a good school district within 45 mins of the city.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:30 PM FlagOP: my dcs will share a room, and I've found some affordable 2-bedrooms online. I just am not all that well versed on the schools. Yes, I work (see above $120k salary). I will look into Riverdale. I just didn't think of it as a good school district. Thanks
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:33 PM FlagDefinitely good elementary publics in Riverdale. Not sure about middle. Do you have joint custody. If you want to co-parent at all being in the same town will be incredibly helpful. What about parts of NJ. I know nothing, but wonder if there is something there that meets your criteria.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:46 PM Flag
Think about this, it is not just time on Metro North. Most train stations in Westchester have 3+yr waiting lists for their parking lots. How will you get to the train and where will you park? Answers to these questions will increase commute time. I think you should consider a non-Manhattan borough of NYC.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:44 PM Flag
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[+] I don't know what to do...divorced, 2 DC. Have been dating my BF seriously for 2.5 y... 77 replies
- BF doesn't like my parents - they weren't extraordinarily keen about me living with him, etc and they worry as he has a good job but isn't solvent due to various bad real estate investments. Plus my parents just have some weird thoughts/beliefs that he doesn't agree with. Im torn btwn love and reality. It sucks....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I don't know what to do...divorced, 2 DC. Have been dating my BF seriously for 2.5 yrs. I love him - he's a gentleman, sensitive, I know w/o a doubt he loves me and my DC. He's 50 - never been married but a number of long term relationships. His last GF was a disaster and really traumatized him so he didn't date for about 3 yrs before he met me. Anyway, our relationship has lacked all sexual intimacy for months and months. We kiss and hug and regularly tell each other we love each other frequently but overall I'd say we lack affection. I've brought this to his attention many times and I know it's hard for him to hear but he's cognizant of my feelings and the importance I place on intimacy. We live together (no flames, pls) and he literally does nothing around the house, doesn't take the dog out even occasionally w/o me asking, doesn't wake up on holidays to watch kids open presents or find their Easter baskets. He's having a lot of financial issues (we keep everything separate but split all bills and rent)
77 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 08:53 AM Flag ]^^every once and awhile for dinner and he rarely gets me a present on my birthday or Xmas. I'm not a materialistic person and really don't 'need' anything g but it's always nice to give a little so
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:54 AM Flag^^^sorry. Nice to give a little something. Finally, I have a good job but I still live paycheck to paycheck. My parents v. generously help - they pay the balance btwn what we can afford in rent and the actual rent total, they put down thousands as a security deposit for the rental, they pay a couple utility bills, etc. My BF doesn't like my parents - they weren't extraordinarily keen about me living with him, etc and they worry as he has a good job but isn't solvent due to various bad real estate investments. Plus my parents just have some weird thoughts/beliefs that he doesn't agree with. Im torn btwn love and reality. It sucks.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:00 AM Flag
Sounds about right. This is what I would expect from someone who is 50, has never been married and is dating someone who is divorced with 2 kids. What's your question? Will you find someone better? No. Maybe different but not better.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:58 AM FlagYou give way too much credit to his last girlfriend. He is selfish. Yes, I remember all of your other posts.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:02 AM FlagYou're better off with a female roommate. The sex, affection and physical aspect is the distinguising feature between a significant other and all other relationships. If you were both fine without it, fine. But since you're not, I'd consider other options. He'll probably still be around if you want to come back.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:04 AM FlagI don't need a roommate - just don't know what the smart thing to do is b/c I when I love I love. I'm 38 so it sounds like maybe everything besides the intimacy and financial stuff could be due to his age/marital status. The intimacy thing makes me crazy as ex withheld it from me (he was abusive - everything but physically abusive) and I crave the connection.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:08 AM FlagJust read the rest of your post about how he doesn't help with anything, has financial troubles, etc. This guy is better than the abusive ex but you really need to keep setting the bar higher. He sounds like an old dog laying around that needs to eat but doesn't contribute. Warm body.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:14 AM Flagwe all have different needs, and it is good that you know and acknowledge yours. reading your posts, I would so rather not be in a relationship than be in the one you are in. i'm divorced, but for the sake of my kid would not enter into a relationship that put me in a worse financial situation. and if you need intimacy and he isn't offering it, what exactly is appealing about this relationship?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:17 AM Flag
Your 50 year-old bf is allowing your parents to contribute to his bills? Do you have any self-respect? Is he committed to your children? His ex has nothing to do with how poorly he treats you, and you put up with this.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:05 AM FlagI have self respect. The bill thing is most certainly one of the reasons my parents don't like him. It bothers me, too. I don't know what to do.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:11 AM FlagGeez. Seriously? Stop taking money from your parents. I've been sending money TO my widowed mother since I was 35. People who take money from their parents after the age of 25 disgust me. You should be ashamed of yourself. Move into a cheaper place. Spend less money. Be responsible.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:15 AM Flag
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If this is enough for you, then fine, but the guy is either gay or has a mother issue
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:16 AM FlagHe was adopted - lived until an orphanage until one so Mother issue is realistic.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:22 AM Flag-
Do you really think he would still have issues that cause certain behaviors at age 50? Do you think the things I've outlined sound like he's treating me like a 'Mother''? Although come to think of it, when we did have sex, he always asked if I'd role play as Mommy.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:41 AM Flag
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My two cents, with your history of relationships, you really need intensive counseling so you can get on with your life. You are still young and I am sure could find someone better. I am a strong believer in a positive attitude to attract the right people, that and common sense.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:11 AM FlagI know. I was actually in intensive counseling for yrs....individual and marital including domestic violence counseling. I was a hot mess as I was going through divorce and after. Picked/attracted/dated a few v. wrong guys but things started to click for me as time progressed. My BF fell into my lap via a mutual friend. I've outlined a lot of negatives but I felt like I finally found someone good and kind. Like I said, I love him but (not to beat a dead horse) there are nagging reservations that are boiling over. Idiosynchrocies that only become apparent once you live with someone and experience life's obstacles. The only difference - we're not married.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:26 AM Flag
Gay Uncle here. Sorry, babe, but your BF is a Friend of Dorothy. Not that you couldn't be perfectly happy with a gay man as a life partner, but even Liza tried it and it didn't end well.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:34 AM FlagWhy do you say this? Just wondering b/c obviously I'm clueless.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:40 AM FlagGay Uncle here. MEN NEED SEX. Yes, even the ugly ones and the old ones. And when a man needs sex, he seeks it out. If he's not getting it from you, he's getting it elsewhere. And given that you're not married, if it was with another woman, he would have left you for that other woman a long time ago; men are very simple this way. He's obviously gay and still in the closet; the only sex he might be getting could very well just be with his right hand. But the fact of the matter is, a man who doesn't fuck his wife/girlfriend generally is a man who doesn't want sex with women, period.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:48 AM FlagHmmm. To be a devil's advocate, how to explain my ex who withheld sex from me during our marriage out of cruelty. I know he did not cheat. I guess he used his hand. Question though - if a man consistently prefers anal, is that a fetish or a sign of something else?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:56 AM FlagMay be he's asexual or takes meds that gives him low libido
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:10 AM Flag-
depressives have low sex drives and their are PLENTY of male depressives in NYC. combined with the fact that he seems to sleep a lot this could be it. i still think she should move on though. i am however intrigued about her parent's wierd beliefs.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:46 AM Flag
Just curious, did you have a really difficult childhood that you are having such relationship issues now?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:18 AM FlagInteresting question. I have v. few memories of my childhood esp my mother. My Dad finally told me about 3 yrs ago that she was bi-polar/manic and had electric shock therapy as last resort when I was young as she couldn't function. My Dad quit his job on Wall St and started his own firm out of the house so he could look after my Mom and us (I'm 1 of 3). We were wealthy so I didn't want for anything material. However I remember having severe separation anxiety when I was 4/5/6 yrs and I had zero self confidence. I finally blosso
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:22 PM Flag-
^^blossomed in college but I was attracted to men like my father - strong personalities who were in charge.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:24 PM Flagalso, my anxiety re-surfaced on 9/11. I was on the corner of church & liberty - couldn't get through to anyone. 2nd plane hit while I was there. I eventually had to quit my job b/c I couldn't stand being separated by now ex DH. Had DC about a year later and was a SAHM for 4 yrs. Marriage was abusive, etc, etc. Divorced in '09.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:29 PM Flag
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[+] Looking to buy a place out east. What are the most desirable/rentable towns? 46 replies
- Sag Harbor etc. Work your way west stopping through Bridehampton, Water Mill, etc. At least this will give you perspective. Look up real estate on HREO (website) to get a sense of what your $ will get you in each town....
- not true. Maybe it's been a long time since you've looked at real estate out there. You can buy a nice house on the water for under a million. I have several friends who have done...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Looking to buy a place out east. What are the most desirable/rentable towns?
46 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 04:46 AM Flag ]It depends on what you want and what you can afford. Southampton, East Hampton, Sagponack are all fantastic. Quogue, Sag Harbor and Montauk might be more affordable. Hampton Bays and West Hampton are not as desirable but still have some nice areas if you just want to get away and spend as little as possible. Remsenberg is often overlooked and is closer to NYC and really lovely and quiet
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:49 AM Flagop: We can afford 900k (all cash), otherwise we will have to take our a mortgage. We have three children and would like to rent it during the summer months, but use during the off season.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:50 AM FlagIf you aren't going to be there in the summer, why on earth would you pay to be in the Hamptons? It's sort of passably okay in the off-season, but there's not much to do, the lots are tiny, and it has a wasteland-ish feel imo. I'd look upstate NY, PA, or in CT where you could pay a lot less, get a lot more, and use the place year round. -np
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 11:50 AM Flag
This completely depends on your preferences and using it vs. renting it. And the more desirable the town, the more expensive the place you will buy. If you don't know anything about the Hamptons, seems odd to buy a place out there.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:50 AM FlagAgree. What a weird place to start your research. Why don't you go visit and see what YOU like first and foremost.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:52 AM FlagSounds like they want a place that will rent easily in the summer. Hence her question.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:58 AM FlagOR: IMO, the town won't determine how it easily they will be able to rent it but rather the house itself
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:09 AM Flagnp: It will. Some people only want village and not town for the parking sticker. The commute is a big deal, too.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:12 AM FlagOR: Yes, some people have certain town preferences, and other people have other town preferences. Some people like South, some like East, some like West. She has a budget of 900k, if she said I will pay any amount of money, then I'd tell her to get a place in South or East on the beach. I don't know if that's the most easily rentable though.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:27 AM FlagI would say Southampton village, on a street like Elm or in that neighborhood, would be a better investment than SH Town, and relatively in her budget if she gets a mortgage. More things are walkable and you have good beach access so you won't have to park at overcrowded Coopers Beach. That's JMO.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:03 AM Flag
If I were looking to buy a house out east, I would do lots of research, which may include posting on UB. Indeed, the more OP asks around the more likely she is to get good ideas. She didn't say she is going to buy a house based exclusively on an UB conversation. She is brainstorming. And you never know, you might just come across someone on UB who is well-meaning AND helpful.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:50 AM Flag
Camden Maine is big with the Retiree crowd-totally rentable in the summer
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 04:58 AM Flagnp - OP if I were you I'd take a weekend and drive to Montauk and spend one night in Amagansett looking around those towns and East Hampton, Sapagonack, Sag Harbor etc. Work your way west stopping through Bridehampton, Water Mill, etc. At least this will give you perspective. Look up real estate on HREO (website) to get a sense of what your $ will get you in each town.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:10 AM Flag
I suggest you rent this summer in Southampton and look around. Spend some time in the villages to the east and west of SH and see what fits you. If you want to rent it out, I would say Southampton to Bridgehampton will get you more because they are in the Hamptons proper but don't take as long to get to as points east of BH. Renters typically take the time it takes to get there into the equation because many of them are coming out on Fridays.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:10 AM FlagEast south bridge sag or AMA. You will have to be north of the hway with that budget. But that's fine. Take a drive and see what you like
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:13 AM Flagop: Is north of highway undesirable? We can increase our budget if necessary.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:16 AM FlagThis is not true. Maybe it's been a long time since you've looked at real estate out there. You can buy a nice house on the water for under a million. I have several friends who have done so over the last three years.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 07:01 AM Flag
A lot of young people want to rent it Montauk now. That's where all the new clubs and restaurants are. Not that you want to rent out a big share house, but Montauk is great for rentals.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:45 AM Flag^^^ Also, you can't get any beachfront property right on the water for under $1 million, no less under $10 million. Don't expect that, regardless of what anyone else said above. But there are more affordable properties that are just a 5-10 minute walk from the beach. Renters do not expect beachfront property anyway (unless they're equally as rich as you'd have to be to afford it), so don't worry about that. Walking distance to the beach is desirable for renters, but if you find a nice property that is not walking distance to the beach, that is not a dealbreaker for renters at all - it helps if you provide them with a town beach parking pass. A swimming pool is a big plus for renters.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:50 AM Flag
If you have $900k in cash AND would rent it out the whole summer anyway, I would almost certainly get a mortgage. A $1mm mortgage at 4.5% would run just under $5k a month. A well-picked $2 million place can certainly bring in $60k a summer in rental income. I'm generally not a fan of buying a place to rent it out because the hassle is so great, but if you are using it in the offseason AND would do this at a cheaper level, I'm not sure the incremental hassle is any greater to rent a $1mm house vs. a $2mm house. If you truly want to use it during the offseason I'd focus more on which towns are good in the offseason.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:01 AM Flag
[+] What is the general consensus on the real estate business? It's a more challenging c... 1 reply
Talk : : April 08, 2012
[+] dear teachers: we know it used to be, like back in the 50's, women had no career choi... 197 replies
- lol. tireless hours. have you ever worked a real job? underpaid? anyone else getting $55K for 9 months a...the rich looking down on the lower classes are real bitter in their multi-million dollar homes. whatever makes ya...she is. that is not theoretical stupidity. that's real stupidity....
- private, and in excellent training programs), make millions in real estate, and still have time for this!...
Talk : : April 07, 2012
dear teachers: we know it used to be, like back in the 50's, women had no career choices and teaching was usually the profession of choice for intelligent, educated women. now, all sorts of fields are open to achievers of the gentler sex and it really would be best for all concerned to openly admit that only those who cannot, with a few exceptions of do-gooders, go into education, especially early education. therefor, if you are an elementary teacher, just concentrate on the three R's and you need not pretend to be something more ingenious or informed and dabble in ridiculous things like deductive reasoning, analogies or science, of which you little understand yourself.
197 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.07.12, 02:26 PM Flag ]don't speak for me. speak for yourself. and, my kids have had a few extraordinary teachers in elementary. I don't know why you need to look down on others, but I don't have that problem. And, just so you know. I'm a Wall St. exec, and not a teacher and there are no teachers in my family or close friends that I'm defending. My experience is that those who need to put down others, hope to raise themselves.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:31 PM Flaguh, i have known a few stupid wall street execs. don't pride yourself too much. lol.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:33 PM FlagThis must be the op - do you have to look down on everyone? She isn't defending what she does, she doesn't need to - she is defending teachers and clearly sharing what she does for a living to show that she is not a teacher. Working on Wall St. also usually indicate a larger paycheck than a teacher and she is using that to say that a paycheck doesn't put value on someone.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:36 PM Flagit's a pity OP's teachers never taught her critical reading skills. perhaps that's why she's so bitter.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:37 PM Flagit's laughable that whenever someone speaks pejoratively of anything, the person is described as being "bitter." i am sure the rich looking down on the lower classes are real bitter in their multi-million dollar homes. whatever makes ya happy!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:49 PM Flag-
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does that matter? but in fact, i do own several million dollars worth of real estate.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:24 PM FlagSo you are syaing that you look down on "lower classes"? I happen to know multi-millionaires that don't. But regardless, all of your money can't seem to buy you any class, or sense to know how to respect teachers that take care of your children. You need to spend a week in your teachers position, day end day out, just go to a kindergarten room and catch their circle time segment on manners because you seemed to miss that lesson the first time around.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:34 PM Flag
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oh, but teachers do get a decent paycheck. come out of some ridiculous middling school no one gives a crap about and you're all set as a teacher because all you need to know is how to read, write and do simple math.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:40 PM FlagTeachers in no way get a decent paycheck, especially for the 60 plus hours they put in, combined with weekends of preparing and paper grading. No teacher ever makes a "decent" salary and no teacher will ever excede the $200k income mark, unless they are a published professor.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:25 PM Flagwhy should they? most people never see $200K. 60 hour workweek. who are you kidding? maybe the first year in teaching. after that, it's pretty much rinse and repeat. my son's teacher doesn't even write her own weekly update. all the teachers in his grade share the newsletter and sometimes they forget to erase the other teacher's name and i get an update from the "wrong" teacher. they almost certainly do make decent salary. just look at westchester. most people would die for that kind of pay.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:33 PM Flag
the point I was trying to make is that I wasn't a teacher. There's stupidity everywhere you look.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:37 PM Flagbut it's so much more ubiquitous in elementary education. yet, they want to be called "educated professionals." freaking joke!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:41 PM Flag-
all public personally, but my kids go to private, but the early grades. i do think the middle school and high school teachers, especially ones who teach math, are respectable.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:45 PM Flagso, you think this about teachers you don't even deal with? awesome.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:47 PM Flagyes, limit yourself to opinion on actual events and people with which you have dealt. i am sure you make a fascinating conversation partner.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:51 PM Flagso what ARE you basing this on? on the idea that a person who has a degree from a mid-level college can find employment teaching and might even work with a child on science or logic?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:54 PM Flagi don't know if you're the same poster whom i find difficult to understand but i am basing it on the teachers i have had and the teachers my kids have now. some of them just out right dumb. and it gets worse the better the school is regarded, or so it seems. and they are most definitely too ignorant to teach science and logic. they're just playing games to while away the time. it's a joke.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:02 PM Flag
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who cares about education? if an idiot goes to Wossamatta U and gets a degree, he still an idiot.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:50 PM Flagyour contention: "how dare they want to be called educated professional?" my contention: "they are professionals and have an education."
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:51 PM Flaghey, anybody can get a master's from phoenix university and even garbage men are called sanitation engineers. i rest my case.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:55 PM Flagyour point is that if someone gets a masters they are not necessarily smart? sure. but the derisive "snort snort, educated, snort" is just bs.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:57 PM Flag-
you are confused. it is exceedingly easy to get a master's in education. i could get a master's in underwater-basketweaving at fairly-ridiculous university. that doesn't make me educated. that just puts me in the top 9% of degree holders in the US (if in fact, that is the case), which doesn't mean squat.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:35 PM Flag
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Right because that person who put in four years at a university is a complete idiot. Right. The person that completed and finished a degree is an absolute retard. Because that person knows that degrees are in know why a predictor to success, so that's why they did that. No, what you are talking about is sense, as in you don't have enough sense to know what you're even talking about as you post on this board. You probably don't even have a college degree yourself.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:29 PM Flag-
I think OP really wants to be a teacher and is just jealous that they can't now for whatever reason. Don't worry, OP! It's never too late to fufill a lifelong dream! You might even teach the other teachers a thing or two, (after you get some good therapy and anti-psychotic perhaps, because we can't have you blowing up on them for misspelling a word. That's hostility in the workplace and no one like a hostile person and you could never teach like that anyway. Wouldn't want the kids learning from that either. No, sir. )
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:55 PM Flag
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nothing personal op, or maybe it is personal, but I get a feeling you see stupidity everywhere. Seeing stupidity everywhere though does not make you smarter.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:49 PM Flagyou're right but i disagree that it doesn't make me smarter than the stupid ones. it just doesn't necessarily make me smart. but smarter than they? yes.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:57 PM Flagwell, no. seeing theoretical stupidity in theoretical people you do not know because they chose a career different from your own actually does not make you smarter.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:58 PM Flaguh, yes, if i see that a teacher doesn't know the difference between "mute" and "moot," "affect" and "effect," "insure" and "ensure" and thinks ignorancy is a word, then i am smarter than she is. that is not theoretical stupidity. that's real stupidity.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:10 PM FlagI bet you did a survey on all teachers worldwide and found that, to a man, they don't know those things.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:11 PM Flagoh, and did i mention a middle school honors science teacher thought dog breeds were species? lol. it just doesn't stop.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:18 PM Flagoh, but is fantastically easy and any moron can do it, even morons who think a poodle is a species. lol. people were teaching kids way before schools came along. i taught my kid how to read. not really hard. sorry. you need to stfu and look at yourself and accept that you are mediocre through and through.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:43 PM FlagTeaching one kid to read is EXACTLY the same as teaching 25 kids at 10 different reading levels. I am a mediocre person. My professors (I took every math course at my college) were idiots to think I was smart. My students are idiots to thank me for their success in college and in teaching and business and law. I'll quit on Monday!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:50 PM Flag
You know, honestly, it is terrible that there are so many educated adults who don't know these things and I used to think I was "smarter" than these ignoramuses. Since then, I have seen people with poor vocabularies help kids reach levels of reasoning and thought I didn't have the ability to, so I have come to realize that "smart" is more complicated than I thought.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:16 PM Flag
Just shut up. You know you'd blow your brains out if you traded places with any teacher on the planet. You would suck at it and the kids would make you cry. So stfu please, or do it first before you tell others what to do.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:20 PM Flagas so it happens, i do a lot of teaching because the teachers are too damn lazy to do the three R's and i am forced to do it myself. why don't you stfu and just count the days until your pension comes in?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:23 PM FlagYou're right. Attending school and teaching your own kids (how many do you have 120? - that's how many I have every week) is JUST LIKE teaching. Seriously, it is easy, anyone can do it. And the pay and vacations are fantastic! Apply now! The Open Market starts next week, I think.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:28 PM FlagWell either you have a problem with your school and send your kids to the most ghetto school on the planet, or you're the smartest person who ever lived and need to teach everyone everything. I think you should find a better school or write to your congress person about improving schools because nothing that you're doing here is improving the situation. No teacher reading this is going to go "Right, I'm a dumbass" and then immediately improve who the are. So maybe since you're so irate you can be the one to do away with NCLB or any other extraproblems that teachers have to deal with so they can actually teach! A thing you have been complaining about.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:41 PM Flag
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I am not sure who you are addressing in this post, but I am the mother of an elementary school child who has had many intelligent, kind, thoughtful and wise teachers. They have helped me a lot in many ways. I look to them for advice. I have very high regard for teachers - they work tireless hours, are underpaid and over educated and most of them really love children.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:32 PM Flaglol. tireless hours. have you ever worked a real job? underpaid? anyone else getting $55K for 9 months a year plus pension in the middle of the country 3 years out of college? over-educated? i am just going with the assumption that you aren't too bright.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:35 PM Flagwhen did this teacher hate start and where does it come from? Teachers need a masters degree, that's 6 years of schooling.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:40 PM Flaganother stupid thing: why does a teacher need a master's degree? college math, forget reading, writing and arithmetic, is often taught by grad students. it's some bullshit the teachers' union conjured up to justify higher pay for no higher performance.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:42 PM Flagum, unless yours masters is IN math, you're not taking math for your grad degree.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:44 PM Flagyou need to express yourself better. have no idea what you're trying to say.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:46 PM FlagNP: Oh god, you're one of those posters who needs the last word but just says "blah blah blah I don't understand," aren't you?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:03 PM Flagok. let's try again. "yours masters in in math, you're not taking math for your grad degree" -- how does that tie into my saying that my TA's in college who had not yet gotten their master's taught calc 3 and 4 as well as algebra and ODE?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:12 PM Flagnot OR, but grad students who are teaching college math are ph.d. candidates. hardly mornons and hardly unqualified.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:15 PM Flagyes, but they don't have the grad degree do they? they could just drop out of college and they could still teach those things, right? in fact, at columbia, a bunch of the TA's are undergrads and quite a few of them don't go to grad school. so why do we put emphasis on teachers getting graduate degrees? why do we laud them for it? it's idiotic. they are idiots regardless of their credentials.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:21 PM FlagI'm a professor. It is a HUGE issue in undergrad/grad education, actually, that a lot of professors are crappy at teaching. My department has been working really hard, for the past few years, on focusing ONLY on hiring candidates who are strong teachers, and it's a big problem finding them.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:48 PM Flag
so it's expensive to do, the pension is operative in most jurisdictions after working for 25 years. The hours during the school year are longer than the school day. The teachers I know all work as after school coaches, tutors etc. and many work in the summer. It is a NOBLE PROFESSION.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:42 PM Flagdo they not receive compensation for tutoring and working in the summer? jesus christ. i would have loved to have worked teachers' hours in finance.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:12 PM Flagnp: at my school, no. I work with my students after school for free. I teach summer school (expected and part of my contract). I spend another 2-3 weeks at various summer institutes. (also, when you worked in finance, I imagine you earned more than my district's top salary -- 30 years plus ph.d.! -- of 84k.)
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:43 PM Flagthat's 84k over 9 months. that is $11k annualized. someone posted the other night about having a master's in engineering and making about that. let me assure, you master's in engineering is a lot more work. maybe you are an exception. all the teachers at my school work for $130+ an hour as tutors. do you also teach summer school for free? that would really surprise me.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:49 PM FlagI really, truly do. and it's a max of 84k after 30 years and completing a ph.d. it's not 84k fresh out of college, or even 84k in your 30s or 40s. it's a maximum ever, with no potential for any raises after that.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:53 PM Flagwell, then you need to transfer to a different school where they don't require you to teach for free in the summer. and i imagine that is not a perpetual obligation but an initial obligation, probably to discourage junior teacher pool to create artificial teacher shortage. $112K annualized is very good pay in most parts of the country, with or without phd.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:58 PM Flagdid you miss where I work year-round for my salary? or that it's not 112k annualized, it's 84k after an entire career? there are very few places where a mid-to-high 5 figure salary is the most you will ever earn with a doctorate.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:15 PM Flag(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professors_in_the_United_States#Salary)
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:48 PM Flag
My child's 4th grade teacher makes <$40K, works 7:30am - 6:00pm most days, has a master's and ABD PhD. She also has endless patience, degrees from top schools and a gift for dealing with children.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:41 PM FlagYou have in service training during those three months. And this is where I quit this post because you're not even debating properly. If you're not going to do your homework and see just how little of the summer vacation teachers actually get then it's not worth it because you ignore proper facts. Just google "I don't want to be a teacher anymore" and see what I mean. Part of the reason those teachers don't want to teach anymore is because of idiots like you!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:44 PM Flagtell that to the middle school teacher in seattle who i know works every summer at some canning factory. i guess you're just not smart if you can't figure out how to get a summer gig after your 2-week in-service training is over.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:50 PM FlagSo you're a millionaire and you see some poor old teacher who has to subside working out her summers in a canning factory to make ends meet and that still isn't good enough for you? Did you ever volunteer to help that poor teacher out? Don't you see something wrong with that? You're a multi-millionaire and you're jumping up and down all over that poor stressed out teacher and she's suffering canning peaches in that hot sweaty factory and that's still not enough suffering for you? You want to send her down a coal mine too? You want to make her eat rats? What in the world do you expect? Bring that old lady a silver apple next time you see her and say "thank you" for all that you do. And bake the firefighter's at your local station a batch of cookies too while you're on your do gooder streak.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:04 PM Flag
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15% of princeton grads in 2009 applied to teach for america. idiots, all.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:35 PM Flag-
Definitely idiots who are overpaid and unintelligent - better stick to the three r's!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:40 PM Flagif i had one of those, i'd let them teach science and logic. but let me ask you, have you had one of those? no, because they go to the desperate districts where the teachers are really hopeless. next.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:14 PM FlagMost of my daughter's teachers went to NYU and are really good writers. Not all of them, of course. At the school where I work, people went to Oberlin, NYU, Brown, Queens College, Seven Sister's schools, Stonybrook. Three have been published. I think all of them know affect from effect. I trust about 90% of the 100's of teachers I have met to teach science and logic. I could say some ridiculously stupid things my pediatrician has said and written, but I don't need to make a case that doctors are stupid.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:21 PM Flagreally? doctors say stupid things? like what? doctors say obnoxious things but usually not stupid things. i'd like to hear some examples. btw, i have known teaching candidates at both columbia and penn, two of the most revered educator institutions, and one of them insisted that an elephant was a giraffe. i don't know if she was coked up or something but i can also assure you, i would not have wanted her thinking she knew science. of the several i knew from columbia, one did not know to correspond the number of the subject to the verbal (e.g. every ones of us think we are right). the pedigree really means noting, especially if it's education pedigrees.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:31 PM FlagI am genuinely fascinated by OP. you spend lots of time reviewing a wide variety of teachers (public and private, and in excellent training programs), make millions in real estate, and still have time for this!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:38 PM FlagMy pediatrician did not consider the possibility of Plantar's Warts in the most obvious case ever. He also was completely wrong about when a child can return to school after having Fifth's Disease. I see another doctor in the practice now and she just doesn't understand child development as well as I would expect. I have a lot of doctors in my family who have also said stupid things, but I don't want to mock them, as they are smart people.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:38 PM Flagi can't take those issues seriously. it's a matter of opinion when children should return to school after an illness, much different from whether a poodle is a specie. doctors are smart. they are annoying sometimes but they always get my respect in the intelligence department. i don't feign to pretend that i can play doctor.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:53 PM Flag"feign to pretend?" Do you know that specie is POOP!!! Even I a lowly teacher (though one that took PDE and was famous for doing them in her head!) know the word is SPECIES!!! and you said it more than once. AARgh, you are a troll and I am sucked in. I AM an idiot.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:17 PM FlagIn these examples, the doctor was wrong in their field!!! You don't think there is ONE stupid doctor. You really need help!!!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:22 PM Flag
If doctors are so smart then why don't they send their children to be around other doctors instead of these morons called teachers? Oh, I guess these smart, smart doctors know what they are doing by enrolling their children in school. Who are going to teach these children when the doctors are away? Could it be the same people who taught the doctors themselves? Teachers? Nooooo! Omg benal argument. Stfu
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:17 PM Flaguh, it's called competitive advantage. they make more money being doctors than teachers because they need only like 1/4 of their brain power to teach, which is called waste/misuse of resources. teachers did not teach doctors. doctors taught doctors. stfu and gtfo.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:29 PM FlagYeah, these teaching doctors usually aren't practicing anymore for a reason. So it really is all about money then? Yeah? No? Do you even know what you're arguing about anymore? And my mom makes more money than a doctor with less the education. And my father makes more than a doctor with an 8th grade education. They actually have a group of doctors working for them. And just the other day she wanted to send my little sister to a good school because of the quality of the TEACHERS. You're just really righteous and misinformed like a religious shouter in the free speech area on a college campus. I don't know what your problem with teachers is. I can see a problem with the administration, and school system itself, and maybe individual teachers, but to chastise the whole profession is above and beyond ludicrious. In Arabic doctor is synonymous with teacher if that tells you anything. Yeah it probably doesn't because you have some vendetta against teachers that isn't helping. You only add to the problem.
[ Reply | More ]04.08.12, 01:27 PM Flag
That is such an outdated, ridiculous statement anyway. The three "R"s? Really? You tell children that today and you will confuse them. Only reading beings with an "R". You have to find the others in arithmetic and writing but even then, it's not a very solid model to base your whole teaching practicum on. I can get three year olds to know state capitals and teach kindergartners Pi. Is that anywhere on the 3 r's? Because Pi does not classify as simple arithmetic. So if you're trying to annoy everyone with this post as you've done with all your other posts, then you know that teachers hate the contraints of teaching from black and white guidelines. I wish you would take all of your hate to the education department and congress. You need to be outside of Congress lobbying with your big shouting mouth. That's an appropriate place for you, though you'd probably be shouted down with truth in matter of minutes.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:13 PM Flag
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I think my favorite part is "ridiculous things like deductive reasoning, analogies, or science."
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:38 PM Flagnot to mention the little grammatical fillip at the end with "of which you little understand yourself."
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:39 PM Flagwhere's the fillip? really interested to know for self edification.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:44 PM Flagnot or, but I would bet context would show you it's in those quotation marks . . . .
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:45 PM Flagso i take it there is no grammatical fillip. people need to read more classical literature.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:15 PM Flagit's grammatically incorrect. a fillip is a little flick, a little bit of emphasis. your clause is unnecessary, pretentious, and not actually called for. plus, it's used wrongly.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:36 PM Flagi know what a fillip is. and it is necessary because the teachers do not understand it themselves. but do point out how it was used wrongly. i'd still be interested to know.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:06 PM Flagnot or (but I *am* a teacher). you do not see how the clause "of which you little understand yourself" is incorrect? the problem is "of which you little understand." your prepositional phrase lacks a subject, even an implied one. if you had said "of which you yourself have little understanding," you'd be correct.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:44 PM Flagyou're an idiot. there is no subject in prepositional phrases. my prepositional phrase has "which you little understand" as the object. "which you understand" is a legitimate clause and "little" is a legitimate modifier of the verb "understand" just proves teachers are stupid and full of themselves.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 05:16 PM Flagyou're right -- I should have said object, not subject. your prepositional phrase lacked an object. additionally, you are using little as an adverb (to modify "understand," which is a verb in this particular clause). you wouldn't say "the car goes little fast," would you?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 05:23 PM Flagkeep digging. my which clause was the object of my prepositional phrase. and since you're really ignorant, "little" is both an adjective and an adverb. stupid teachers don't even know they are stupid. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/little
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 05:30 PM Flagoh come on. it was a terrible sentence and incorrect. you know it, I know it. it doesn't need to be a prep phrase at all -- if you had lost the "of," it would have been better (though not good). this is a poorly written sentence with terrible structure and grammar. I cannot continue this argument. is english your first language? your errors are really troubling.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 05:32 PM Flag
I will give more personal info now than I ever have in a UB post. I graduated from Williams 10 years ago. In my dorm, my senior year, there were 15 people. 4 of us are currently either teachers or ed consultants. One of us was an economics major, two majored in math, and one in art history. All of us were cum laude (or magna or summa). Fuck. You.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:43 PM FlagI had a friend with the same attitude and then had to leave work for awhile for health reasons and then moved for her husband's job and ended up teaching elementary school. She sings a different song now. A song about how to find the right combination of lessons to get kids who read and do math and understand the world on very different levels to move through a curriculum together. Something that takes training and experience and intelligence. I think you should try teaching for a few months. Try not yelling at the kids and coming up with curriculum. Good luck!!! And enjoy having their test scores published at the end of the year (including the ones you never met, who took the test at another school but are somehow attached to your name).
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 02:55 PM FlagOh goodness PLEASE do not suggest that op go into teaching. That would be awful for our children. I think her penance should be full-time at the dmv.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:04 PM FlagNP: You are seriously suggesting that a person who went into a profession that she previously scorned wouldn't now rationalize her new career choice with a different tune? Are you for real?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:10 PM Flag
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Yes, poor Muffy is just too smart for her stupid teachers who can't understand her. It's a sad situation and putting the blame where it truly belongs (the idiots in education) will solve the problem!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:12 PM FlagOP here: actually, my life is small. I know I am small and mean. resentful about how things have turned out and personal things that should have happened and didn't. should have done more with my life. just an angry person I guess and being derisive to others just helps me burn off steam in some way.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:28 PM Flag
Dear op: your sentence construction is horrible. Even lowly teachers can construct a sentence, so I guess what you're demonstrating is that you're less intelligent and capable than a person for whom you have no respect. You need some word or group of words after "cannot." Also, no apostrophe needed to pluralize a word. Thus, it should be Rs, nor R's.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:40 PM FlagLet's all ignore this idiot and go on to something else. Not attention to nasty, acting out behaivor...just like with kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 03:46 PM Flag-
Only with kids, if they are really troubled you can't completely ignore them because they will blow over someone else and keep doing something else until they get the attention they want. I don't think this OP will blow up anything like that, but they will meet someone who will probably seriously shame them or lead them toward a change of heart. At least I hope, because it's a sad waste of time to professionally troll like this, or to be so uneducated you cannot see it. But we;ve all had our ridiculous moments, so this must be OP's.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 04:22 PM Flag
my kids have had amazing teachers. they win national awards. i wish i had had them myself. i wish you had also had them, as perhaps then you could have written this simple post correctly. or, even better, you could have reasoned that your thought was silly and mean and decided not to post it on UB.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 05:11 PM Flag
[+] DH wants to move to New Hampshire...we could, but I fear boredom. Anything going on i... 28 replies
- Portsmouth has some really nice higher-end real estate, homes and condos, is on the coast, is a very interesting satellite city and a straight shot down 95/93 to Boston. Dartmouth is that special intellectual pocket but is very isolated geographically....
Talk : : April 07, 2012
DH wants to move to New Hampshire...we could, but I fear boredom. Anything going on in NH?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.07.12, 06:34 AM Flag ]Peace, quiet, no sales tax, lakes, skiing, hiking, good malls, Manchester airport, Verizon Wireless arena, state liquor stores, Canobie Lake Park, Santa's Village. Probably looking at traveling south to Boston for touring B'way shows and north shore for better restaurants, and definitely Boston/Foxboro for sports.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 06:50 AM Flag-
Portsmouth has an art museum, and I believe there's one at UNH. Smallish one in Manchester, and then various boutique galleries around the state. For major culture you are back in Boston - Isabella Stewart Gardner, Museum of Science, the stuff at Harvard, touring opera and ballet, the Boston symphony etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 07:07 AM FlagNew Hampshire is really a place to live for the simplicity and nature. Lakes in summers, major skiing in winter. Mountains for hiking. For ocean you can drive east to the Maine beaches. For culture it's still ancillary to Boston. (I would also say this for major specialty medical care.)
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 07:09 AM FlagIf we go, we are going to offer to relocate our nanny there. Are there many young people there for her to socialize with? DH and I both work from home, so we could live anywhere. I'd assume nice parks for children, but in Winter?? Library story times perhaps? Anything else? Thanks for the info. Very helpful!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 07:17 AM Flag-
Is Portsmouth the "biggest city"? I would want to be there. DH and I would prob have to compromise for something just outside "city limits". I have never even been to New Hampshire, but he really wants to do this, so I am willing to explore. It won't be a forever move...most likely.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 07:42 AM Flag-
If you move to NH, do not move to Portsmouth just because it's the "biggest city." This does not mean much. Move somewhere with CHARM. This is the allure of moving to NH. (Ex-New Hampshirite.)
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 10:05 AM Flag^My favorite parts of NH include Hanover, the White Mountains (Woodstock), Lake Winnepesaukee (though admittedly I am most familiar with the Alton Bay side). Have also spent much time in Concord area (down street from. St. Paul's Academy), Keene/Swanzey. Though to be honest, I've also lived in Vermont (Burlington) and my heart lies there. THAT is a "biggest city" I can stand by wholeheartedly.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 10:09 AM Flag
It would depend on where you are living. If you locate near a college you'll probably get that community of younger people. Dartmouth is in Hanover (6K students, cultural oasis, would not be surprised at a nanny culture there) and UNH is in Durham (15K students). The rest are all much smaller. Winter is COLD but kids sled, boys/girls play hockey, lots of girls skate
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 07:42 AM Flag
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I live in vt but on border of nh- Dh works at dartmouth and honestly it sounds like you might not like it up here, unless you livein southern nh ie the far out Boston suburbs. Our only shopping within 45 minutes is pretty much Walmart or to max. Even the jcpenney - my go to place for mani pedi- has been closed since Irene. No Starbucks, only a handful of good restaurants within a half hour etc. it is absolutely beautiful but cold and pretty isolated.there is a museum of science for kids but otherwise it's sledding, hockey, skiing, and in summer going to swimming holes, raising chickens, etc
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 08:30 AM FlagIf you live in hanover proper there is less of a culture of farm related hobbies but still no one moves here for the culture.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 08:32 AM FlagI agree with you that no one would move to Hanover for the culture, I was just thinking that with regard to the University itself, it might be that "cultural oasis" for special lectures, college sports events, exhibitions, student-directed theater, recitals, that kind of thing. ?
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 08:54 AM Flag
I'm starting to think it might be a better move when the kids are a bit older and can enjoy more outdoor activities. Very young now at 1, 3, & 5. And yes. I will hate it. But I don't have the social life I used to have, and want to try this out for DH, because he really wants it.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 08:55 AM Flag
Can you rent for a month (or more) this summer? That will give you a true feel for what it is like at the best time of year. I lived in Boston for a long time and wouldnt move to NH bc I think it would be isolating. Obviously, lots of people do reply love it though. This will also be a good test for your nanny - who I think will find it even more isolating. Schools? I'm sure they are fine but I doubt they are great. Maybe look in/near Exeter so you have that as an option for HS (day student is less $ than boarding and local schools may not be OK). I suppose Concord gives you the same w St. Paul's
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 10:37 AM Flag
[+] How poor is a family of 4 with a hhi of 110k in NYC? 11 replies
- The problem is real estate. If you have a place to live, great, but rent and owning are impossibly expensive, so at that income...
- This is our income and we have 4 kids. We live in a 2-bedroom in Brooklyn. Not a bad neighborhood, but not great. Real estate is indeed the problem....
Talk : : April 05, 2012
How poor is a family of 4 with a hhi of 110k in NYC?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.05.12, 08:00 PM Flag ]Lower middle class if you lived in Manhattan in a good neighborhood. You would be able to afford a $2000/month 2 bed apt, which would require you to be in something very tiny/walkup/non-renovated/kinda scuzzy place in a nice neighborhood or a (slightly) better apartment in Harlem or Alphabet city.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 08:07 PM FlagDH makes $95K and we're in FL. I feel like we're LMC. We're nearly living paycheck to paycheck.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 09:49 PM FlagThe problem is real estate. If you have a place to live, great, but rent and owning are impossibly expensive, so at that income with 4 kids your hosting costs will eat everything. You would have to live in a neighborhood that is middle/lower middle or just live in a dump. It is madness, but a million dollar apartment in NYC is nothing special. Even 2 millions i not getting you anything so great for 4 kids. It is crazy but that's how it is.
[ Reply | More ]04.06.12, 05:48 AM Flag
[+] Real Estate Question: I want to buy a second home in the area. My current house as ... 8 replies
Talk : : April 05, 2012
Real Estate Question: I want to buy a second home in the area. My current house as about 450,000 mortgage and I'm paying about $4K/mo mortgage. Good credit. I want to rent my house out and buy second home which will be our primary residence. My current home mortgage is under my husbands name even though title is on both our names, but I do not work. So- question. Can I take out 2nd mortgage for 2nd house if dh makes about $400K/yr and we put 10% or 20% down. The house I am looking at is about $875K. Thoughts?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.05.12, 07:28 AM Flag ]You sound a bit over-leveraged. Do you have substantial savings? What state is the second house in. I know in NJ, DH can't take a mortgage without my signing (just refinanced a property that he owns w/ someone else and I had to be on the paperwork). Does the 4k/mo. include taxes? What's your straight mortgage cost, because that seems super high.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 07:35 AM Flagop-includes taxes - but we plan to refinance now. at the end of the year we get $$ back so it ends up costing us like $2500 mo. Modest savings. What do you think? My issue is our house it just too tight for us and I am thinking that maybe smart to hold now until market picks up - but also smart to buy. Do you think on 2nd home we need to put down 10 or 20%? Will this even be possible?
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 07:38 AM Flag
I wouldn't, we were in a similar situation and the rental hurt us on taxes, it is income and while you can deduct stuff you can't deduct anything for the principle you are paying and if you rent for less than you are paying you can't take it as a loss if you make over $150k
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 08:20 AM Flag
[+] I've posted before about this. Close friend separated from dh, has really never held... 7 replies
Talk : : April 04, 2012
I've posted before about this. Close friend separated from dh, has really never held a real job in her mid 40s w/2 kids. Crazy impractical, they have been separated for almost 2 years and she still hasn't put together a resume. Her dh is not a stable income earner and she really needs to work. I lent her money (foolishly), thinking it was for rent and food. She spent it on a life coach, therapy and a personal trainer. She never paid her rent (she says that's dh's job) she didn't pay for her kid's lessons. Oy. I got her an interview w/a real estate broker that was looking for a personal assistant and she didn't even show up. I don't get it. Our mothers are friends and our dd's are friends, so I can't distance myself. But I feel like I am talking to a child when I talk to her.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.04.12, 09:29 AM Flag ]Stop helping her out. Be her friend but if she asks for money say you can't do that until she pays you back the original money you lent her. And if she asks for job help say you can't do that because she didn't show up for the interview you set up for her and you can't ruin your reputation like that.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:31 AM FlagI get so frustrated because I am a very practical person and in her shoes, I would have waitressed, nannied, cleaned, whatever while I looked for myself. What the hell does that even mean? In the mean time she talks about going to south america for the summer and becoming some sort of consultant. I can't talk to her for a while, she is cooky
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:55 AM FlagThe sad thing is she WILL land on her feet. Someone she meets through networking/the things she does will offer her a cushy $100K job to be glamourous and she'll do great in it and will do ok financially with alimony/child support. It's frustrating, but I've seen it happen. I would not help her at all. She's not interested in paying any dues.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:59 AM FlagI do hope she lands on her feet, although if she does it will not be from any effort on her part. I can't believe she took the thousands of dollars I lent her and spent it on a life coach and personal trainer! and blew off buying food and paying rent, what kind of mother does this?! She didn't even pay for her kids lessons. She basically took my money and spent it on herself. In the meantime her ex has been unemployed for 4 months and can't afford to give her a penny. And this life statement! Oy
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 10:22 AM Flag
[+] Need some advice. My mother is going through a divorce. She has an excellent job with... 89 replies
- No, I don't view real estate as an investment purchase. At best, I'd...
- real estate IS an investment purchase. the fact that...
- Real estate is not an investment purchase. It's a...a degree! Otherwise, we'd be in a real financial pickle!...
- Real estate is most certainly an investment. Not all...
Talk : : April 04, 2012
Need some advice. My mother is going through a divorce. She has an excellent job with the federal government (meaning excellent benefits) and she makes $65K. She is now 51, has nothing in savings or retirement, no assets. I am thinking of buying her an apartment, but not sure if it's financially sound. We only have $200K in savings and $100K in retirement, but our HHI is $400K and we're only 32/29. We have two DCs in public and our rent is only $1400/mo, no debt. An apartment for her would cost $250K (mid-level) and $450K (luxury building - which is where I am leaning). Thoughts?
89 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.04.12, 07:32 AM Flag ]where does she live now? will she get any alimony or % of assets in the divorce? Will her government pension when she retires be enough to live on?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:35 AM FlagShe lives with my stepfather now in the house that he inherited when his parents died. My mother doesn't want it and due to my stepfather's poor financial planning it's over-leveraged and now underwater. She will not be receiving any alimony and I doubt their are any assets. He is going through a bankruptcy right now and a financial mess. His business is gone, he has no source of income. I am not sure if she will be receiving a pension. She has only been working for the gov't for 3 years now. I am guessing that they require 20 years of work or something? She runs a work-rehab program for inmates. I do not want her working this job in 10 years - or even now, but that's what she is doing.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:41 AM Flag
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what makes her job excellent if she has no retirement (401k or pension)? What "excellent benefits" are you referring to? I think it is a nice gesture to buy an apt for your mom, but what are your housing plans for you, dh, and your dcs? to continue renting forever? You certainly can't carry 2 mortgages on your current income.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:37 AM FlagShe only recently started this job, so she hasn't paid a significant amount into a 401K or pension. And yes, we will likely continue renting forever.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:47 AM Flagor: got it. but i still don't understand how you can be sure you will rent forever. you havenwhat if you move to a different
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:04 AM Flag^^^oops...you havent said what city you live in. what if you move to a different town or city? what if you want to buy a house. unless you are in some great rent control apt, how can you be so sure you will never buy?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:06 AM FlagWe won't be buying a house. It's not like buying is an unexpected life circumstance that one falls into. You have to make the decision to buy and it's not a decision that we will be making. We live in Manhattan. My mother does not live in NY.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:24 AM Flagor: I'm not trying to be argumentative with you, just making sure that you appreciate that you can't predict the future and it would suck for you to extend resources to buy for your mom, when it might end the possibility for you to buy for yourselves (or save for college, retirement, etc.). FWIW, we had no plans to buy either, but when I was pg with #2, we considered it and started looking, and found a great apt with monthly costs that were comparable to our rental (less when you factor in mortgage tax deduction). Other friends were hard-core manhattanites, but after a number of years decided to move to burbs, or spouse got a great job offer in another city, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:39 AM Flag
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this this this. this is downright crazy. i'm all for you taking care of your mom, but you have a retirement to plan for AND you presumably have children (or will have children) to provide for. this is completely irresponsible. i can't believe that your dh is on board with this.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:07 AM Flag
Are you interested in buying an apartment as an investment and renting it to her? That is the only way this makes any sense.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:49 AM FlagNo, I don't view real estate as an investment purchase. At best, I'd expect it to hold value. I would not be renting it to her because I want her to be able to save. I would own the apartment. If it helps, our HHI will be increasing by another ~$250K in three years.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:53 AM FlagMinor datapoint. And how do you know that (big) increase is coming for sure?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:57 AM Flag-
np: that's still no guarantee that you will be earning $250K more in three years.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:06 AM Flag-
OR and what's your residency to make this assumption (MD too)
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:08 AM Flag-
So if you don't have geo limitations, you are likely to be making at least 200k more (250 might be on high side) but you might have to do hand or something. You have to buy it and rent it to her, rent it below market but have her pay rent. She is MORE likely to save in this scenario then if you gift it. Also, should she go to a nursing home etc. you need to document that she does NOT own the property back several years.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:13 AM FlagShe's geographically limited to one apartment in Manhattan.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:16 AM FlagI know where I will be placed already. There is much in my post that is unexplained because it's not pertinent to the post. When I say that my income will increase by $250K in three years, I am not guessing.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:17 AM Flag
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So your DH is the breadwinner? Is he onboard with the "let's us all our savings to buy MIL an apartment plan"? What happens if he loses his job? Needs to relocate?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:13 AM Flag-
OK, so then is your Sister Wife or whoever else is making the 400K on board with the buy mom an apartment plan?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:20 AM FlagThat would be me. The bulk of the income is from me. I have other income besides my resident's salary.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:22 AM FlagThis is hiliarious! You do whatever you want, whenever you want, and the entire universe conforms itself to your plan. You have mysterious sources of guaranteed income you will not reveal. Difficulties other people often face like finding or losing jobs or needing or wanting to move do not apply to you. The only question is why the heck are you here asking mere mortals for advice?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:41 AM FlagI'm not certain why you are taking such a tone. I didn't feel it necessary to write a 5000-word financial and personal history so that you may best answer the question. I stated my HHI, savings, debts, assets and the ages of everyone involved. I also stated that my income would increase in a few years by X amount; this should be enough to form the basis of an opinion on the matter. I'm not coming to UB for an expert opinion.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:51 AM Flag
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How old it your mother? This plan really isn't wise from a tax planning and inheritance standpoint. Any assets your mother has at death will get taxed and assumedly split between you and your sibling. Inheritance wise, it is smarter if you and your sibling fund her current needs, if necessary, and she spends down her savings. Or if there is a provision in your mother's will that any support she receives from you during life gets taken into account during her will probate. Also, if she ever needs nursing care, it would be really helpful if she has divested herself of her assets for at least 3-5 years prior so that she is Medicare eligible.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:47 AM Flag-
Ok, but buying her an apartment now so that she can save is not a good idea from a tax planning and inheritance point of view. Give her support monthly as she needs it and as your income (and investments) grow you'll be able to handle her increasing needs. Locking up a good portion of your savings and committing future income to her apartment is not a good plan. particularly if her health situation changes abruptly.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:58 AM Flag
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real estate IS an investment purchase. the fact that you would say that you don't look at it this way is proof to me that you aren't financial saavy enough to see that you shouldn't do this. this is absurd. if you're going to buy it and let her live in it, you have a defensible argument, but to buy it for her at your savings level and HHI is mind-boggling.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:09 AM FlagReal estate is not an investment purchase. It's a nice place to live and if you are *lucky* it will appreciate. You don't sound like you know what "investment" actually means.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:11 AM Flag
What does DH think of this? That's a big chunk of your change and big spread between what you'd be spending on her versus on your own family.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:55 AM FlagHe's ok with it as long as we keep the apartment in our name.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:56 AM FlagI'd be O.K. with it - she should pay rent - even if it is below market rent - just makes sense -if you want take the rent and save it for her - you can always gift it back to her if that is how it works out down the line.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:12 AM Flag-
TY, I took care of my parents for about 10 years - they took care of me when I was younger - a large reason they did not adequately save for retirement was that they sacrificed for my education - so it seemed a reasonable payback - we actually moved my mom into our house after dad died - it was great day care for our children, tough on my spouse - but he is a good guy.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:32 AM Flag
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What are your mother's thoughts on all of this? Would she be comfortable living in in a luxury apartment while your own family is renting? I know, I wouldn't. Is she happy with her job? Can she herself see her working in that jon for another 10 years? I understand wanting the best for one's parents but it sounds like you are making the decisions for her. Is she happy withthat?
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:05 AM FlagI wouldn't do it. Your first priority is your kids and your retirement. I'm sure you know how expensive college/med school/whatever is. But just to put retirement in perspective, my poor grandparents-in-law spend 150K a year on rent in their assisted living home, and they have to pay hundreds of thousands more for a nurse that helps my GMIL, who has Alzheimer's. This year it will be more than twice as expensive, because GMIL is going downhill and is not able to live in a normal apartment anymore--has to move to an Alzheimer's ward, meaning that they have to pay for two separate apartments. Save, save, save. Help your mom, by all means, but with your income and savings you should not be buying your mom a 500K apartment.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 08:30 AM FlagI'd probably buy the mid-level apartment. Having an asset in my name sounds like a better plan than just loaning her money to get by on life expenses, which is what you'd be doing in all likelihood if she has to rent her own apartment and pay bills on that salary.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:46 AM FlagWe did this. My MIL lived in a house owned by my DH in his home town. We moved her to the city into my condo that I owned prior to our marriage and she lived there until she passed away last month. We are/will be renting out both properties and will sell the house soon. It worked out well for us.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 09:57 AM FlagIn your situation, I would buy an apartment for my mother without a second thought. Given that you're so young and with so little comparative savings, I'd buy a mid level apartment now. In 8-10 years, if your path goes as you'd expect, I'd buy her the luxury apartment you wish you could buy her today.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 12:06 PM FlagNO. absolutely not. You are not responsible for your mother. Do not start down this road. She can afford a place to live. If you want, loan her the security deposit, she can repay when her lease is up or use it for the place she moved to. At a minimum get some therapy and figure out some rational boundaries. Your DH is insane to consider this. There will be no end to it. It's not as if you're financially set. You have a lot of years to work and can't assume you'll always have that income.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 12:16 PM Flag
[+] Opinions on Battery Park City as a place to live with school age kids? 8 replies
- we know. The store owners have all known our kids since they were babies. It is a real community within NYC. Downsides - very windy, people feel like it is too far to visit (but...
- Would love to live there, but lucked into a great real estate situation further uptown. Everything seems perfect there, except for the daily commute to work in Midtown....
Talk : : April 04, 2012
Opinions on Battery Park City as a place to live with school age kids?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.04.12, 07:18 AM Flag ]Really love it. The schools are quite full (there is a waiting list for kindergarten, though it looks likely that everyone will get a seat) but that is because so many families have moved here. Great parks, a bunch of new restaurants by Danny Meyer, gorgeous public library, most trains 5 - 8 minute walk away depending on where in BPC. (1,2,3, 4,5, R) Best part for us is that we walk out the door and see friends. We go to the playgrounds and see kids we know. The store owners have all known our kids since they were babies. It is a real community within NYC. Downsides - very windy, people feel like it is too far to visit (but once they do they say how close it is!), sometimes it feels a little TOO small town, no god grocery store, but Fresh Direct and Whole Foods a 10 minute walk take care of that. We never tire of the sunsets!
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 07:23 AM FlagIt is a great place to live. The subways are kind of far, but other than that, it is pretty much all upside. The north part is a bit more convenient, but the south part is really pleasant. It has a very neighborhood feel and lots of amenities. I live in Tribeca, but spend most nice days over at Rockefeller, Teardrop or West Thames parks.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 11:43 AM Flag
[+] Favorite reality TV show? I'm tired of Tabitha fwiw. 6 replies
- I have been stuck on real estate lately - Love it or Leave it - dvr'd a bunch and watched them this weekend. I so wish I had the money to say - here's $xyz and what can you do...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
[+] My family has HHI of about $500K and have my dc is in very ritzy private school that ... 20 replies
- I think you are the parent and your job is to keep them grounded and exposed to the real world....
- my experience in living in the wealthy NJ suburbs (estates, not just mcmansions) is that kids are not impressed by the size of homes. they don't appreciate fine furniture or tasteful...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
My family has HHI of about $500K and have my dc is in very ritzy private school that dc's younger sibling loves (and is already attending) - but in that environment where kids live on estates and we live in a very normal modest home in cute area, dc (s) will seem like a pauper. I worry about how it will impact them and how to address this as they go there...especially with older dc who will be starting there. i have not even had my younger dc's friends at our place yet b/c i worry that dc's friends will comment on how much smaller our place is. i know this all sounds so crazy, but not sure how to deal with this or if we are making a mistake sending them there.
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 12:10 PM Flag ]they will gravitate to the home where they have the most fun. If you guys are the most fun parents, they will be there, regardless of its size or toys.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:11 PM Flagop-wow...really. well - fun I can do LOL. You don't think it will be tough on the kids? I guess what I worry about is that we have a lot of money by most people's standards but they will have this totally unrealistic view of what wealth and poverty is, b/c of this environment. what do you think?
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:14 PM Flagmy experience in living in the wealthy NJ suburbs (estates, not just mcmansions) is that kids are not impressed by the size of homes. they don't appreciate fine furniture or tasteful artwork. They like a happy family atmosphere. The younger parents tend to win over the kids friends than older parents.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:17 PM Flag-
if you keep the attitude that you are "paupers" then your children will pick up on that, if you are proud of your accomplishments then they will be too - remember kids take a lot from you - hard not to project embarrassment when that is what you are feeling
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:13 PM Flagop-how do i change this? have no idea why i feel wierd about this..I know its so incredibly stupid.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:15 PM Flagdid come from a poor family maybe? and you can't let go the feeling you don't measure up? We weren't poor but moved from a small town to a fancy old money area and I could tell my parents felt like we had to prove we fit in. It took me a long time to learn not to care what people think abut my social status and just be happy.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:25 PM Flag
There was a post like this in the past month or 2. If it was you, you need serious help. If not, go back and read it. The problem starts with your attitude.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:16 PM Flag-
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not the richest or poorest parent here-I wanted all the kids to come to my house and they did-it's attitude.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:32 PM Flagop-i have no idea why i have this chip on my shoulder. we are successful, smart, educated couple with great friends. some reason the vibe at the school is so rich that i started to wonder if my kids would feel somehow lesser than. first time in my life i felt that way and its really making me wonder where it comes from. didn't come from poor family, in fact sort of middle upper class. never felt we had anything missing, in fact felt like we always had a lot. i guess i just have to get over it.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:40 PM FlagIt's not really you. This is the problem with living in the NYC area. Lots of money, materialism and one-upping the Joneses. You probably wouldn't feel this way if you lived in a different part of the country. It's tought to avoid getting sucked in, but you just have to be thankful for what you do have - financial security, hopefully a solid marriage, good career, etc. Or move?
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:57 PM Flag
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I have a feeling you will not be able to control this and it will come out in things you say to dcs. You sound like you are ashamed and IME people who feel that way about something in their lives, don't get over it too easily.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:48 PM Flag
[+] any real estate moms on: how do I go about finding a list of Rental Apartment buildin... 3 replies
- for apartments: NY Times Real Estate/ select Bronx/ Riverdale in drop down neighborhood menu/ select for rent...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
[+] Any Connecticut mamas out there who happen to know/have an opinion of Milford, CT? Fo... 10 replies
- do over bc of the schools. We are paying for private HS for our oldest dd with two more dc's to follow. This is not what we had planned when we moved. Pretty town, reasonable real estate, mix of peopl...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Any Connecticut mamas out there who happen to know/have an opinion of Milford, CT? Found a house I really like online, just curious about the town in general- vibe, schools, etc. Thanks!
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 10:58 AM Flag ]I live in lower Ffld county, but have been to Milford many times. There is a lot there in terms of shopping, restaurants, health care. There is a shore section which is lovely. Not sure about the schools. Orange is right next to Milford, I have friends there who absolutely love living there. Drive out there and see what kind of feel you get, I really like that part of CT, much less pretentious than Ffld County.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:04 AM FlagOff the coast is Charles Island. Quite possibly home to Captain Kidd's long lost treasure.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:16 AM FlagIsn't it near New Haven and along the water? I had a boyfriend whose family lived in Woodbridge and we'd go to a bar and a restaurant in Milford occasionally, along the water. It looks like a pretty town.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:37 AM Flag-
I moved to Milford 5 years ago from Manhattan. The town is very nice with decent restaurants, events, etc. There is no Westport vibe here at all. There is an economic mix of people here. From what I can see, Milford used to be a blue collar town that now has a mix of white collar professionals. So you kind of get a feel for that based on what neighbor hood you are in. After 2 years in Milford schools, we pulled our kids out. Found them to be very uninspired, lack of thinking outside the box and a one size fits all approach to learning. Very 20 years ago IMO...our kids went to PS40 in NYC and we LOVED it. Orange and Woodbridge schools seem to be much better. I would not move to Milford if I had a do over bc of the schools. We are paying for private HS for our oldest dd with two more dc's to follow. This is not what we had planned when we moved. Pretty town, reasonable real estate, mix of peopl
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 02:01 PM Flag
[+] Real Estate Question- Can anyone explain to me how the whole selling your home but yo... 6 replies
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Real Estate Question- Can anyone explain to me how the whole selling your home but you still hold the mortgage thing works. I know it is for peopel who cant get approved for the mortgage but I cant understand the whole process.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 08:48 AM Flag ]Do you mean I sell you my apartment, but I hold the mortgage and every month you mail me a check? I get income from the interest. Instead of me selling my apartment to you and a bank giving you the money which you give me. I walk away with all the cash and you pay the bank back and they make money on the interest.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:50 AM FlagWe did this for some commercial property - we wanted the mortgage payments in lieu of the cash as the mortgage payments were more then we could make in investments - eventually though, the company who bought out property refinanced for a better deal and to take more cash out - and then we were just handed a lump sum of cash.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:56 AM FlagI did this once, but it wasn't my mortgage to the bank. I wrote a mortgage for the buyer. I had the cash to pay off my own mortgage. So it was like I was the bank for them since they couldn't get approved. (I did this bc they were new Americans and looked awful on paper, but I thought it was worth the risk.) I was correct. They paid me off in ten years and took me out to a nice lunch!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:56 AM Flag
[+] Tell me I'm being silly. DH and I could afford to buy an apartment we like right now... 24 replies
- south of 96th on either west or east and on UES don't really want to live east of 2nd. I personally am looking for a real 3BR so likely wouldn't count a maids room....
- I expect that it is very difficult to find a real 3br in a prime UES or UWS in that price range...
Talk : : April 02, 2012
Tell me I'm being silly. DH and I could afford to buy an apartment we like right now, but drag our feet and keeping renting as we're not 100% sure we want to be tied to NYC. Anyway, I still real estate shop online. Over the past 2 months, saw two gorgeous well-price apartments I could absolutely envision living in. Obviously didn't ask but when they both sold (quickly!) I was bummed and still dwell on them. Dumb right?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.02.12, 10:45 AM Flag ]-
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np: what size apartments is inventory low in? In what neighborhoods are you looking? I am curios because we are contemplating selling but don't know if timing is awful.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 10:50 AM Flag-
ps so maybe I view inventory as low because that price is a bit low (doorman bldg) for the 3BR requirement?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 10:53 AM FlagAre you looking on UWS prime only? Do you see a 2br + maids as a 3br or as a 2br apartment?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 10:59 AM FlagI think what you'd call prime only... south of 96th on either west or east and on UES don't really want to live east of 2nd. I personally am looking for a real 3BR so likely wouldn't count a maids room.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:01 AM FlagI expect that it is very difficult to find a real 3br in a prime UES or UWS in that price range... Our apartment is not the "prime" UWS and it is a classic 6 so 2br + maids+ LR +DR. I would be curios what we can get for it. I guess I would have to ask agents for an evaluation if we got serious.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:06 AM Flagues madison in the 80's here. we have a true 3br w/ an eik (prewar) and they're telling us 2.5. live in super. no doorman. op's dreaming.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:08 AM Flaghttp://www.bhsusa.com/manhattan/upper-east-side/168-east-74th-street/coop/1738044
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:16 AM Flaghttp://www.elliman.com/new-york-city/the-barrington-203-west-81-street-unit-8a-manhattan-tjpfdxq (this is a little higher but not much)
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:18 AM Flag
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Do you plan to move to the burbs or out of NY entirely? Are your kids in school?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 11:08 AM Flag
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