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[+] I think I ovulated 3 weeks ago. A week after I ovulated I had some heavy bleeding for... 7 replies
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I think I ovulated 3 weeks ago. A week after I ovulated I had some heavy bleeding for a few days. Today my hcg was 100 and progesterone was a 1. Ob isn't sure what to make of it yet. Either a miscarriage, ectopic or verrrry early pregnancy. Any btdt would really help!
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 06:12 PM Flag ]
[+] I am 33 y.o. and have had two back-to-back miscarriages, the first one was due to a c... 18 replies
- Have you had a recurrent miscarriage blood test panel? The studies are mixed, but...for the feedback. Any success stories after two miscarriages & seeing an RE?...
- I had 3 miscarriages and 1 ectopic starting at the age of...on your baby. how far along were your miscarriages? i'm only curious because i guess i...that IVF costs $15K minimum, so if the miscarriage panel finds something, we'd be saving money...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I am 33 y.o. and have had two back-to-back miscarriages, the first one was due to a chromosomal problem (an extra 13) and the second one is unknown (pathology came back normal). We don't have trouble getting pregnant, but clearly have trouble staying pregnant. I would like to see an RE at Weill Cornell (all my other doctors are associated with NYP) and am debating between Steven Spandorfer and Pak Chung. Does anyone have experience with either or both? Can you please provide feedback? (Note, Cornell won't let you make appts with both, you have to choose.) Thanks.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 01:28 PM Flag ]I was in your shoes a couple years ago. REs insisted it was probably age related chromosomal abnormalities before my pathologies came back normal. Was probably luetal phase defect. But good luck getting a doc to believe you before they rule out every other possibility under the sun and run every possible blood test and uterine screening.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:30 PM FlagI'm sorry for your losses...I have also lost two pregnancies, one due to a chromosomal abnormality. I am now at Cornell and don't see either of those dr.s but have heard great things about Spandorfer from several friends. In all honesty, I'm starting to feel like it doesn't matter so much who you see, because you will get to know many doctors if you are going in for monitoring, you see whoever is there, and same for procedures. Good luck.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:46 PM Flag-
Have you had a recurrent miscarriage blood test panel? The studies are mixed, but I turned up with homozygous MTHFR, and I found a hematologist that would put me on blood thinners on the odd chance it would help. I'm at 11 weeks into my next pregnancy. REs seem less willing to try this then OBs, and hematologists are split. DeSancho from NYP wouldn't indulge me. Might be worth a try if you can't find another cause.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:45 PM FlagThanks so much for the info. I am going in for the panel in two weeks - was told I have to wait until six weeks after the D&C. Mixed feelings on whether or not I want something to show up but I'm glad they finally caved and said I could have it. (First they kept saying I needed to have 3 unexplained MCs - ugh!)
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:23 PM Flagnp I know lots of people who had MTHFR - were you put on lovenex? Lots of Re's use it now or other similar drugs. It's very much protocol for many these days. Anyway - have a healthy pregnancy.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 05:11 AM FlagFight for what you want. DeSancho (NYP hematologist) said there was no way she'd run a miscarriage panel unless my miscarriages were such that there was a heartbeat each time and I had at least 2 due to the cost ($3,000). I tried to explain to her that IVF costs $15K minimum, so if the miscarriage panel finds something, we'd be saving money. I made Dr. Sandler (RE) run it after my first chemical. Yes, I'm on Lovenox. My OB is happy. One RE was willing to prescribe it. Another wasn't, unless under the care of a hematologist.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 08:57 AM FlagI guess it depends on whom you see. All the RE's I know these days will run the panel and put you on L or something else = that's how I knew. I didn't have it but many I knew did. Dr. Sher is big with this. That really sucks to find an RE who isn't willing to do this and I agree with you that if that's the only problem why go IVF if you can have and easier and cheaper fix.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:50 PM Flag
I had 3 miscarriages and 1 ectopic starting at the age of 33 and no one ever found out why. I was at Cornell under Dr. Kang. My ivf resulted in my final miscarriage. While taking a break from everything I got pregant and now have a healthy 2 and a hlaf year old. My high risk ob gyn thinks I had implantation problems.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 05:56 PM FlagDr Spandorfer is amazing. I have had 3 miscarriages...all with chromosomal problems. It's a very difficult thing to handle, and he is strategic, patient and pro-active. He will gauge your level of anxiety & make sure you understand his approach to ruling out causes, etc... He always returns phone calls, will fit you in during a very busy schedule, and somehow makes you laugh or at least smile through the tears. I could cry just writing this. I really understand your situation. Best of luck to you.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 12:45 PM Flag
[+] I am 33 y.o. and have had two back-to-back miscarriages, the first one was due to a c...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
I am 33 y.o. and have had two back-to-back miscarriages, the first one was due to a chromosomal problem (an extra 13) and the second one is unknown (pathology came back normal). We don't have trouble getting pregnant, but clearly have trouble staying pregnant. I would like to see an RE at Weill Cornell (all my other doctors are associated with NYP) and am debating between Steven Spandorfer and Pak Chung. Does anyone have experience with either or both? Can you please provide feedback? (Note, Cornell won't let you make appts with both, you have to choose.) Thanks.
[ Reply | Watch | More
[+] i am 39. we thought about having a third child but always end up saying no b/c we are... 14 replies
- ^^ most of my fear was miscarriage due to my age or chromosomal issue. Autism didn't really worry me....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
i am 39. we thought about having a third child but always end up saying no b/c we are worried that we are just testing our luck since our first 2 are perfectly healthy, etc. anyone else have this fear? especially with the high rates of autism?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 06:42 AM Flag ]It's hard for me to imagine how I'd feel because I only want 2 kids. But I do pay attention to statistics and no one can deny that the risks for problems goes up. Is the risk huge? No, but obviously even small increases can make you pause when you're a worrywart (which I am).
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:39 AM Flag
[+] I just had my nuchal translucency scan and they told me that the baby has a Tricuspid... 13 replies
Talk : : April 06, 2012
I just had my nuchal translucency scan and they told me that the baby has a Tricuspid Regurgitation, which is a marker for downs but also a heart defect. My downs risk is 1/209. My papp a was .9 (should be 1.0) and my hcg was 1.25 (should be 1.) The dr told me it was my choice whether to have a CVS or not, but that they usually recommend having one if the risk is greater than 1/300. They also said that it is possible that the heard defect will correct itself by 20 weeks. Anyone BTDT??? Im so scared and worried and conflicted bc apparently the risk of miscarriage with CVS is 1/100. I know I ultimately have to make the decision with my husband but I would love to hear some advice from anyone that has been in a similar situation. Thanks so much in advance.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.06.12, 04:20 AM Flag ]I don't have any advice on the CVS but just wanted to let you know that I have the tricuspid regurgitation & it really doesn't negatively impact my life at all. I did get an infection that went to my heart but because I knew about the tricuspid regurg, as soon as I complained about pressure in my chest and and a fever, they gave me mega antibiotics & I was fine in a couple of days. Just don't want you to worry about that aspect.
[ Reply | More ]04.06.12, 04:31 AM Flag-
A cvs is only higher risk than an amnio because many drs are less experienced doing it. Go to dr mark evans on the ues if in nyc. He is tops in his field and does tons of them. I would do the cvs but for us we were not ok with downs.best of luck. You will be okay.
[ Reply | More ]04.06.12, 04:54 AM Flag
[+] Any products/foods known to cause miscarriages besides the obvious prescribed medicat... 10 replies
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Any products/foods known to cause miscarriages besides the obvious prescribed medications?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 11:57 AM Flag ]-
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http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-204_162-326816.html
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:01 PM Flaghttp://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/21/health/21caffeine.html
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:01 PM Flaghttp://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18221932
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:05 PM Flag
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[+] 7 weeks pregnant and worried. Tmi sorry. Havent had a good bowel movement since la... 16 replies
- I'm at 10 weeks. It is brutal. I've been eating 5 prunes every day, and at least two Fiber Rich crackers. My doctor said to stay away from most laxatives as they might cause uterine contractions/miscarriage, but that if I was really suffering to take Metameucil or other fiber supplement. Honestly the gas is just as bad or worse. Extremely painful and embarrassing. Buy the end of the day I'm burping and farting every couple of seconds. And...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
7 weeks pregnant and worried. Tmi sorry. Havent had a good bowel movement since last wed and a small one onsaturday. Strangeley i dont have the urge to go. This cant be good. Im starting to think that my bowels arent working.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 10:07 AM Flag ]Mine jammed up RIGHT away when pg. Drink lots of water and eat lots of fiber (obviously I know). Also ask OB if you can take Colace, I took it throughout on my OB's recommendation. Sorry to say but it only helped the problem a tinsy bit, worst part of my pg!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:09 AM FlagI'm at 10 weeks. It is brutal. I've been eating 5 prunes every day, and at least two Fiber Rich crackers. My doctor said to stay away from most laxatives as they might cause uterine contractions/miscarriage, but that if I was really suffering to take Metameucil or other fiber supplement. Honestly the gas is just as bad or worse. Extremely painful and embarrassing. Buy the end of the day I'm burping and farting every couple of seconds. And it isn't like I'm eating a lot of vegetables that would cause gas; the morning sickness is such that I can't come near broccolli or cauliflower.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:20 AM Flagtmi alert - i had severe constipation. it was so horrible (and it hurt so much when I had a bowel movement) that my doc told me to get lube and a glove and do it that way. it sounds like you don't have to go now, but when you do, after not going for days, it could be bad, so i'd keep this in mind just in case. made my life SO SO SO much easier :-)
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:49 AM Flag
[+] Hijack of earlier post: is it really not okay to wax/laser during pregnancy?? How cou... 11 replies
- np: I guess because miscarriages are quite common during the first trimester and usually the cause is unknown. That's why many health professionals like to err on the side of caution. Waxing, depending on the ingredients, can irritate skin even if one never had a problem...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Hijack of earlier post: is it really not okay to wax/laser during pregnancy?? How could this affect baby?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 08:54 AM Flag ]huh? based on what logic would it not be ok to wax during pregnancy? Makes no sense. I waxed throughout, my DC is perfecto.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:13 AM FlagMy OB sais not in the first tri, but the written instructions they gave me were *very* conservative. No artificial sweeteners throughout. No soft cheeses, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:23 AM Flagor: Good grief. OB says this based on WHAT LOGIC? it makes no sense.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:23 AM Flagnp: I guess because miscarriages are quite common during the first trimester and usually the cause is unknown. That's why many health professionals like to err on the side of caution. Waxing, depending on the ingredients, can irritate skin even if one never had a problem before. And an irritated skin or a bad reaction *might* cause problems in the first few weeks of pregnancy.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:33 AM Flag
I've read that tee tree oil, which is sometimes used as a waxing ingredient, can cause miscarriages. I have no clue, however, if the study was based upon taking tee tree oil orally or applied to skin. Other methods of waxing should be fine, don't know about laser, though.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:19 AM FlagI would be more worried about laser because sometimes your skin reacts differently when you are pregnant. However, I can't imagine how waxing would be an issue. I agree with the above poster who said to avoid tee tree oil, and I would also avoid any other holistics or herbs that you haven't cleared with your OB but I can't imagine how the wax itself could harm you.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:38 AM Flag
[+] DH says to me, you really need to cut out the caffeine, you are wound too tight. Ful... 31 replies
- It just works for us, somehow. Three is a lot, but they are happy and healthy kids, DH and I generally get along (he's my best friend). I had a ton of miscarriage before #1, one between #1 and #2 and went to an RE for #1 and #2. We weren't planning on a third but obviously didn't take herculean efforts to make sure it didn't happen. Frankly, I didn't think I could conceive and carry without all...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
DH says to me, you really need to cut out the caffeine, you are wound too tight. Full time wohm with three kids under six (daycare, no nanny), cut off housecleaner to save money, work in BigLaw (not NYC). Caffeine is the only thing that gets me up at five am to start the whirl. I have two cups a day in the morning. Not a jury in the world would convict me, I swear.
31 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 04:27 AM Flag ]That wasn't very nice of him. What was your exchange that preceded his comment
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 04:40 AM FlagHe is so random. It was out of the blue and he drinks fifteen cups of coffee a day. It was funny timing because, seriously, all three kids ended up in bed with us last night, our youngest was up from 2-430 am, just hanging out... We are both exhausted. It was as I was trying to get him and the two boys out the door, he just blurted it out. Maybe I was being snappy or something. More funny than anything... I just looked at him and I was like, yeah. That is what I need.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 04:51 AM Flag
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Screw him! Drink your caffeine and stop being a martyr and rehire your house cleaner.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 04:49 AM FlagI know, right? I'm calling Merry Maids today. Eff that shit. We are saving because home slice wants a house on the lake in Canada (I totally do, too), but this is ridiculous. My day will come. Next fall, all three kids are out the door with him at 7:30 and I am footloose and fancy free until I get to work at 9:30.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 04:53 AM Flag
Laughing at this. I get the same thing. You need it right now and would probably pick your coffee over dh right now.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 05:06 AM FlagThey wouldn't convict you, but if they did you can come and share my cell. It's a win-win situation.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 05:15 AM Flag-
I bet he wasn't talking about the coffee, he wanted to say you're wound too tight without blaming you. But, you're in a difficult time. They won't be under 6 forever. Good luck.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 05:42 AM FlagHe just wanted to comment on how tightly wound you are without offending you. Rehire a cleaner! Find a way to take a day off and relax. It will get better as the kids get older, but you just have to make it thorough these next few years with your sanity in tact. Don't focus on saving money over things like a cleaning person. You can do that in a few years if you feel you must.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 06:03 AM FlagCaffeine actually makes you more tired and if you put cream/sugar there are wasted calories. Your digestive system becomes dependent upon it to function. I quit caffeine 2 years ago, a great decision. I'm less irritable, have more energy and the people around me like the me without caffeine.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 06:55 AM FlagYou're in BigLaw but youcan't afford a housekeeper or nanny?
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 06:59 AM Flag"Can't afford" is relative. We had a nanny but fired her because she wasn't honest (lied about where she had my son). That freaked us out on trusting one person so back to daycare we went. It was the right decision for us - we aren't in NYC so nannies are tough to find and we could never find one that wasn't scary. And we can afford a housekeeper but choose not to because of the whole saving for a vacation home thing. I'm not crying poor mouth or crying into my beer about it - it's just a choice that we make. I'm a perma-associate (see Mommytrack), so I do okay, but no big payouts. It's fine.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:24 AM Flag
Does your DH pitch in with managing of household and kids? I work in finance, have 2 kids under six, and my DH does not help - so I have lots of hired help (night nurse for infant, nanny and weekly cleaner) and do not feel the least bit guilty about the cost.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:41 AM FlagUnrelated but: why do people do this to themselves? Not flaming, but why were THREE kids a good idea? Presumably you're spread so thinly you can barely enjoy them. Again, not trying to be nasty, just find it interesting. I get snarky remarks when I say I want to keep it at one child so I can balance home/FT work and child.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:49 AM FlagIt just works for us, somehow. Three is a lot, but they are happy and healthy kids, DH and I generally get along (he's my best friend). I had a ton of miscarriage before #1, one between #1 and #2 and went to an RE for #1 and #2. We weren't planning on a third but obviously didn't take herculean efforts to make sure it didn't happen. Frankly, I didn't think I could conceive and carry without all kinds of treatment. As it turns out, I was wrong and I'm so glad I was - she's an awesome little kid (and the girl after two boys:). In any event, these are crazy years, our house isn't as clean as it could be, apparently I drink too much coffee and we don't get enough sleep. But it worked out and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My brother and SIL have an only very much intentionally. They have your approach, that it's just not worth the hassle and life goes more smoothly. It was the right decision for them, but it doesn't appeal to me, at all. I would rather have chaos and lots of kids than peace with one (this isn't an attack, it's just my opinion). Some days I'm too snappy, some days I'm sure I look a mess, but other days (most?), it works.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:32 AM Flag
[+] DH and I have been having trouble conceiving . My father is an ob/gyn. He is a great... 17 replies
- I've had two back to back miscarriages so I doubt it's a sperm issue, but maybe I'm wrong--that's why I want to talk to an expert!...
- and get the work up. Push your doctor to take the blood now instead of waiting for a third loss. I've had 4 miscarriages (three before my first) and 3 live kids. I'm sorry for your losses. It really sucks....
Talk : : April 02, 2012
DH and I have been having trouble conceiving . My father is an ob/gyn. He is a great and knowledgeable doctor and I want to ask his advice before seeking any kind of treatment. The problem is he will almost certainly tell my mother. She is a very anxious sort and I would very much prefer that she doesn't know what's going on with me. WWYD in this situation? I can't decide if the trade-off is worth it.
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.02.12, 09:53 AM Flag ]Talk to him about it. Your mom is already worried. She'll be comforted by the fact that you are talking to your dad
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 09:59 AM FlagI was in this situation. Easiest and quickest thing to do is test your husband's sperm.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 10:11 AM FlagYour dad doesn't want to talk about his daughter and baby making. Honestly. Find an RE and start to get a work up. They should have taken blood from you to check for some simple problems that can cause multiple miscarriages. Start taking baby aspirin, extra folic acid and get the work up. Push your doctor to take the blood now instead of waiting for a third loss. I've had 4 miscarriages (three before my first) and 3 live kids. I'm sorry for your losses. It really sucks.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 10:48 AM Flag
[+] Please don't let your 1-2 year old child walk down the stairs when there is a line of... 56 replies
- what is going on in their life. maybe they're having a tough day. maybe that woman had a miscarriage a day prior and couldnt carry her child. or maybe not. who knows? not you, and not me. so...health issues are invisible but would justify not lifting a child in a particular situation. A responder above mentioned miscarriage or herniated disk. Others possiblities: multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, vertigo, dizzinesss due to anything from an ear infection to...
Talk : : April 02, 2012
Please don't let your 1-2 year old child walk down the stairs when there is a line of people behind you. Does anyone agree/disagree? This mother let her little toddler (2 years max) walk down each step while tons of people had to wait for them to go down...why couldn't she just pick him up? Or am I being unfair?
56 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.02.12, 07:18 AM Flag ]same as the ones who let their darlings put in the metrocard the wrong way 20x on a bus with a line of people behind them
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:19 AM Flag-
imo, you're being unfair. my kids are much older, so i have no dog in this fight. but are you really in THAT much of a rush that you can't wait the extra 60 seconds? truly?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:22 AM Flagit takes that 1 yo more than 60 seconds to walk down those stairs.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:23 AM Flagare you that weak that you can't pick up a 1 year old when there's a line behind you?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:23 AM Flag-
OR-ok. i'll go there. you want to make it personal, i'll do it. a number of years ago, i used to be like you---always in a rush, annoyed with people who walked slowly or didnt abide by every single rule of rushing down the sidewalk or onto trains. as luck would have it, my mom got very sick. i remember walking around the streets those days in a complete daze. some days, it was a huge effort to put one foot in front of the other. then she died and it was worse. i started looking at people on the sidewalk a little differently. i realized that on those days, people had no IDEA what grief i was carrying. i needed to walk slowly those days. i was "carrying" my grief. i try to remember that when i walk by someone who might not be on my timetable. you can never know what is going on in their life. maybe they're having a tough day. maybe that woman had a miscarriage a day prior and couldnt carry her child. or maybe not. who knows? not you, and not me. so get over your bad self and get some compassion you twit.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:28 AM Flag
1) as i said, i don't have a 1yo so trying to personalize this won't work 2) stop being so full of yourself.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:24 AM Flag
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You're not being unfair. People think their snowflakes are the center of the universe and everyone should bow at their feet.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:26 AM FlagOP: I thought I might be unfair b/c I know some people might have a herniated disk and can't pick up heavy things but this kid looked like he weighed 20 lbs. And the mother did look healthy. I felt sorry for the man behind me who had his daughter in his arms and had to wait for the kid in front.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:29 AM Flag
Are you the same poster that shoved past the old lady on the stairs and then yelled at her for being too slow?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:39 AM FlagA) You're BEHIND her, how does she know how many of you are back there? B)Most subway stairs are wide enough to go around a mom and toddler C)Depending on the state of mom's shoulders/back/knees, carrying the child on stairs may not be the safest option. I feel more strongly about the morons who have to block the stairwell to talk on their cellphones or light up their cancer sticks.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 07:44 AM FlagI think both location and time matter. Subway at rush hour? Pick up the child no matter what. Subway at non-rush hour, *as long as the staircase is wide enough for people to get by you*? Let the child walk. Basically, at non-rush hour, anyplace that is wide enough for people to pass, I would let the child walk. As for putting in a metrocard, hand it to your child the right way and lift the child up so there is no waiting. Just use common sense at all times. Actually, that should be a mantra for life as a whole: just use common sense at all times, people!
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 08:01 AM FlagLots of health issues are invisible but would justify not lifting a child in a particular situation. A responder above mentioned miscarriage or herniated disk. Others possiblities: multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, vertigo, dizzinesss due to anything from an ear infection to past head trauma to side effect of chemo or immunotherapy treatment (which does not always make the person look ill otherwise), recent surgery, incontinence, etc. Although any given person might be acting thoughtlessly by letting dc walk down stairs while others wait, you have absolutely no way to know based on appearances alone. When I'm truly in a rush, I squeeze around when possible, but generally try to give the parent the benefit of the doubt since I truly can't know whether they're inconsiderate or just trying their best to make it through a (possibly very, very) tough day.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 04:01 PM Flag
[+] Godparents out there ... what do you do in your role as godparent? Special gifts, tr... 14 replies
- six months after graduation. She has another friend, who will remain childless (and who she had considered asking to fulfill this role) who goes all out. I probably would have too if my life hadn't taken the unexpected turn. Six miscarriages later, I have three children. Who would have thought....
Talk : : March 31, 2012
Godparents out there ... what do you do in your role as godparent? Special gifts, trips? I understand the significance more for an older child - moral support, etc, but what about for a younger child? I get the feeling that my dear friend doesn't feel I fulfill the role. She asked me to be godmother to her first and I was there for the delivery. I had been trying to get pregnant for years unsuccessfully and I know this was her reaching out to me. I now have three children under 6, work FT, am very active in my childen's school and live 400 miles away. Are my obligations far beyond that of a loving Aunt? Help!
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.31.12, 09:23 PM Flag ]-
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I would maybe send cards for holidays like valentines, St Patrick's, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, thanksgiving... How old is she? When she is old enough to travel on her own, have her come for a special visit...
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 09:43 PM FlagGood suggestion. Even with my best intentions, the cards won't happen. I can't get my mother's brithday card out in time, but have considered a trip here when she's a little older. She turned 10 this week. But I only see her once or twice a year now so may be starnge for her to come ... time will tell.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 09:46 PM FlagI'm a bad godmother (realized too late I didn't agree with a major philosophy the family has) but we chat on fb now that she is 14.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 09:54 PM Flagop: I guess that's really my question - what is a good godmother?? And what makes you (us) bad ones??
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 10:31 PM FlagI didn't stay in touch, visit, or do anything special with my goddaughter that I wasn't doing with her siblings. I think for my dd I would want someone who gives sentimental gifts, some special 1:1 activities if living nearby... Not sure
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 10:41 PM Flag-
In my case her parents wanted me to encourage religion. I found out soon after they believed God gives men the right & responsibility to physically discipline his wife & that my goddaughter should "serve" her male brothers. I wasn't comfortable with that and was only 19 at the time & wasn't mature enough to structure a relationship that I was comfortable with. We have reconnected through Facebook now & I plan to make more of an effort now that she is old enough that I can have a relationship with her but not be that involved with her parents.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 10:51 PM Flag
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Take her out to lunch and ask about it. I see your role as an Aunt.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 09:32 PM Flag-
Yes, I guess I need to go there. Sad. We've really lost touch and I think part of the gulf is due to her feeling I haven't acted the way she envisioned. We were inseparable in college but I moved to NYC six months after graduation. She has another friend, who will remain childless (and who she had considered asking to fulfill this role) who goes all out. I probably would have too if my life hadn't taken the unexpected turn. Six miscarriages later, I have three children. Who would have thought.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 09:44 PM Flag
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My children's Godparents are all consistent about sending birthday and Christmas presents. I did not expect this and viewed it more as a ceremonial role, but I've been really touched by their generosity and how seriously they've all taken it. One lives nearby and always comes for birthdays (this is also because she's my best friend and we're close anyway), and the other two live far away but we see each other at least once a year.
[ Reply | More ]04.01.12, 04:37 AM Flag
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[+] ttc. starting charting temp and doing opk. this was the first month. I noticed previ... 11 replies
- I got pregnant previously on bc, complete accident last year. Had a miscarriage and am now trying. I'm just afraid that i need progesterone supplements and dont want to risk another m/c...
Talk : : March 31, 2012
ttc. starting charting temp and doing opk. this was the first month. I noticed previously that my periods were coming a few days earlier (usually a 28 day cycle, sometimes will get period anywhere from day 25 - 27). Got my period today ( day 27). I noticed on the chart that my luteal phase was only 10 days (ovulated on day 16). I know this is very short as it should be between 10 and 17 days. Has anyone been there? do you think I have a luteal phase defect? Thinking of calling OB on Monday.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.31.12, 03:27 PM Flag ]-
how long have you been trying to get pregnant? If it's only been a month, you need to give it time. 4-6 months is average.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 05:30 PM Flag9 days is enough. This actually is pretty standard range what ur describing.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 05:42 PM FlagNot true. OP, don't listen to this. You have a short luteal phase. The fact that your periods have shortened is also not great. Get to an RE. You do have luteal phase defect. This is actually one of the easier things to fix! Good luck. I had it and now my dd is 10!
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 06:03 PM Flag
Sometimes my cycles had luteal phases of 11 days, and I got pregnant on cycle 4, currently 8weeks 2days. I would recommend taking a prenatal vitamin if you aren't already. I may have read somewhere that vitamin B6 can help prolong the luteal phase. GL!
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 08:50 PM Flag
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[+] Had a huge fight with DH this morning. I had thought that I might be pregnant (unplan... 72 replies
- and were in the process of moving back to NY. There were a lot of things going on at the time and he doesn't deal with change well. The whole situation wound up being incredibly stressful due to his attitude and then the coincidence of my miscarriage - the details of which are rather involved, it was just a very bad time for us. With my second pregnancy, the baby died at 34 weeks in utero. There's a lot of baggage when it comes to my pregnancies. Right now, I am...
Talk : : March 30, 2012
Had a huge fight with DH this morning. I had thought that I might be pregnant (unplanned), so I took two tests last night; came back unclear, so I bought digital ones this morning and those came back as not pregnant. I wanted to do this alone, but DH suspected something and kept banging on the door. I told him that I wanted to be alone for this as I knew his response would be poor and I just couldn't deal with it. He kept telling me that I was selfish and that it wasn't just about me. It came back negative and I told him as much, but he insisted on seeing them anyhow. I am so angry at how unaware and selfish he is.
72 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.30.12, 05:41 AM Flag ]-
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He should understand why I would want some space considering his reaction to my last two pregnancies.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 05:59 AM Flag-
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So this was potentially your THIRD unplanned pregnancy. Honey, talk to an 8 year old about birth control already.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:36 AM Flag-
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You planned them on your own without letting him know? Seriously, this is confusing. Did he want the two other kids and simply panicked when he found out you're pregnant or were you lying to him about birth control?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:40 AM FlagI NEVER SAID THAT THE FIRST TWO PREGNANCIES WERE UNPLANNED! THAT MEANS THAT WE PLANNED TO HAVE THEM. WTF?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:41 AM FlagYOU'RE CONTRADICTING YOURSELF! If he uses condoms it wasn't planned. If he didn't use condoms the first two times why the negative reaction, what's up? And btw, your response re condoms/ planned /unplanned came up after I posted. But first OR is right, you do love drama, don't you?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:46 AM Flag
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Then why are you or him not able to use birth control correctly? Or are you "forgetting" your pills on purpose?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:36 AM Flag
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If you wanted to do it by yourself why didn't you wait until he went to work.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:03 AM FlagHe had already left the apartment and I was in the bathroom alone. He came back in to get some papers and noticed that I was in the bathroom.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:31 AM FlagIt takes like two minutes to do a pregnancy test. In that time he figured it out and banged out the door? Puh-lease.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:35 AM FlagIt takes three minutes for the digital tests to come up. And yes, he wanted to come into the bathroom to get his chapstick as well, but the door was locked. This aroused his suspicions.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:37 AM Flag-
So put the test under the sink or in your pocket and plop your ass on the toilet like your taking a crap.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:51 AM Flag
Where were your two other children during all of this drama?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:40 AM FlagWe don't have any living children. My first pregnancy was twins. I miscarried at 22 weeks. The first pregnancy was difficult because my DH panicked once I became pregnant. He received a job promotion that required him to be in Hong Kong. We were living in London at the time and were in the process of moving back to NY. There were a lot of things going on at the time and he doesn't deal with change well. The whole situation wound up being incredibly stressful due to his attitude and then the coincidence of my miscarriage - the details of which are rather involved, it was just a very bad time for us. With my second pregnancy, the baby died at 34 weeks in utero. There's a lot of baggage when it comes to my pregnancies. Right now, I am ill and unable to conceive since the medication I am on would not allow a healthy pregnancy. There are a lot of stresses here.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 06:49 AM FlagIs this for real? When people started questioning you why didn't you mention any of this?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:03 AM Flagnp: Probably because the women of UB are so kind and understanding. The two cunts at the top kept harping on how she tricked her DH into pregnancy. I can sympathize. My sister lost her baby at 36 weeks and there's a lot of anxiety/stress about pregnancy. She didn't even want to talk about it with family until the baby was born. Her DH should have understood that she wanted to be alone, but I'm guessing that he's dealing with a lot of anxiety as well. I hope they are in couples therapy for this.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:07 AM FlagThe posters above asking questions were trolls. Why respond to them?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:09 AM FlagOP did react to them. That just means that OP is either a bad story teller, a fake, or both.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:22 AM FlagShe provided your answers with very minimal information. You expected her to tell you her back story when you were clearly in the mood for a witch hunt? She stated that her two prior pregnancies were planned, but you kept responding with, "Planned by you, not by him." She told you twice that you were wrong.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:25 AM FlagNP: Then perhaps she shouldn't lead with "Oh, he hated my last two pregnancies" and bait people into drawing an obvious conclusion and get all uppity when it happens.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:32 AM FlagThat's your defense for repeatedly telling her that she tricked him? She stated that this wasn't the case. Move on so that the post can continue in a productive manner. I read above and it appears that she only provided four responses before telling you that she was done speaking to you because you wouldn't listen. You twisted it into something that it wasn't. How is anyone supposed to get a word in edgewise when you are repeating the same thing over and over. Take a class in communication skills. oy.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:38 AM FlagI'm very sorry for OP IF this is real. But there were questions about her dh and why his reaction was negative and she didn't give an answer until her very last post. Of course, she doesn't have to give the backstory if she's not in the mood but the way she worded her post and her answers were beyond misleading.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:40 AM FlagIt looks like people were busy asking logistical questions and then two posters were harping on the idea that she's tricked her DH. She's upset. She doesn't owe it to us to provide us with a whole back story and she rather quickly stated that she was logging off. I would have done the same. That also wasn't her last response. If you look at the time stamps, she provided the explanation well before responding above to a few other posters. I also don't see anything misleading about repeatedly saying that her prior two pregnancies were planned.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:44 AM FlagHow many times does someone have to say that they didn't trick their DH into pregnancy and that the prior pregnancy was planned? Posters get tired of answering the same questions. I know I do. Then when the trolls get a hold of it and run away with their own stories, you may as well abandon ship.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:52 AM Flag
No one asked for the back story. They just kept harping on how she's tricked her DH into having two children.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:12 AM FlagOnly becuase seh stated he didn't react well to the two pregancies. You can't make a statement like that and expect people to not react. I'm voting for fake but I can also see bad story telling. Either way, she can't very well expect people to react well based on the information she herself presented.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:34 AM FlagMost people ask a simple question, get an answer and then move on. You kept harping on the same topic for over six responses. She tired of you rather quickly and said that she was logging off. The whole conversation was stupid because you are either dense or have malice intent.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:40 AM Flag
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We don't know if they have a bad marriage or not. Sounds like there's a lot more going on here. They've both been through a lot. She is upset about not being properly supported and he's probably terribly upset (as is she) about the loss of the two pregnancies. UBers are so quick to divorce. This is something that they can work through if they both want it.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:59 AM Flag
It sounds like you were totally feeding this drama. Why would you wait until he was banging on the door to tell him that you thought this might related to his potential baby? I mean, c'mon. If you want to be alone, do the test when he's not home. You sound just as unaware and selfish as he is, lady.
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 08:01 AM Flagif i thought i was pregnant, i'd want to find out right away. and think it's completely reasonable to expect that you could have a few minutes alone in the bathroom to secretly or privately perform a test. good lord: what happens when the rest of you people poop? is dh in the bathroom?
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 02:35 PM Flag
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[+] Would you have an amnio if you were me: 34 y.o., 35 at delivery. I'm worried about th... 36 replies
- I didnt have one bc the risk of miscarriage for the amnio was 1:1000 at a very good practice in NY. the numbers from my nuchal were 1: 10,000 for either downs or other chromosomal disorders. I was your exact age....
Talk : : March 27, 2012
Would you have an amnio if you were me: 34 y.o., 35 at delivery. I'm worried about the risks of the procedure.
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 09:18 AM Flag ]I was you and I did have an amnio. I am a super anxious person and worry a lot and realized the more I knew upfront about my child and any possible health conditions, the better I would be able to be prepared. I realize you cannot find out everything (and my dd does have a health condition, though not the kind that shows up in prenatal testing) but for me it was nice to have that information ahead of time. That said, many women opt for the nuchal plus the 20 wk u/s.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 09:21 AM FlagThe risks are very, very low with the amnio. I personally have never known anyone who has had a problem.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 09:23 AM FlagI had my two at 37 and 39, and it never even occurred to me to have an amnio...
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 09:25 AM Flag-
doctors never require this. they strongly encourage you if you are over 35. no test is mandatory
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 10:28 AM Flagnp. Yes, I didn't have an amnio at 41 years old and wasn't pressured to get one. We were very low risk for problems and we decided we would not terminate regardless. I have a mentally disabled cousin who is very funny and sweet and living a full life independently (in a group home) and so knowing her, I just couldn't do that. But I understand when others do terminate. We're very grateful our son is healthy and normal. Parenting him is hard enough as it is.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 12:22 PM Flag
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Nope - but I'm me. I wouldn't have an amnio unless there was a very high risk of severe complications. A normal pregnancy at 34? No way. But I wouldn't terminate unless it was certain the DB would not live and would be in pain for the short time they were alive - and that's difficult to be certain of... I'd rather not know and just deal with whatever I get dealt.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 09:46 AM FlagI wouldn't. I felt the same as another person that I would only terminate in the absolute most extreme case, which is incredibly rare, and I also knew I couldn't live with myself if the baby was damaged by amnio. Definitely had friends who did, and they were able to enjoy pregnancy much more without those worries, so it is really so personal.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 10:18 AM FlagI didn't get the amnio during my first preg at 34 because all the bloodwork came back with a low chance. By the time I had my second, at 37, they had the nuchal test and that was good, so I didn't bother with the amnio. Both amnio and CVS have risks that I didn't want to deal with unless the bloodwork or nuchal came back with issues.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 12:38 PM FlagI was you, good results at nuchal age 35. Had a few ms and a kid already. Was worried about risk but still did amnio. They found a very rare Chromosomal issue - a missing one and a mosaic. It would not have been picked up by unchallenged. I always recommend it, especially with the low risk these days.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 01:58 PM Flag-
[+] Find out this week if fetus has a heartbeat - 6 week ultrasound. I cant think about ... 5 replies
Talk : : March 26, 2012
Find out this week if fetus has a heartbeat - 6 week ultrasound. I cant think about anything else. I feel exhausted and anxious at the same time. I had a miscarriage early on years ago and had a major scare with my daughter in the beginning so this was always a very stressful time in the pregnancy for me. I dont even feel pregnant today which is making me feel worse. I am so scared. :(
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.26.12, 08:28 AM Flag ]
[+] PSA about Dr. Meimaris obgyn. 10 replies
- I wanted to post so that people have up to date information about an obgyn practitioner I visited yesterday. I had a miscarriage last month and was seeking a new obgyn. Dr. Meimaris laughed in my face when I told her I had to go to the ER for treatment of the miscarriage when my body went into circulatory shock. She told me that I brought this life-threatening condition on myself due to my own anxiety and...
Talk : : March 24, 2012
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I wanted to post so that people have up to date information about an obgyn practitioner I visited yesterday. I had a miscarriage last month and was seeking a new obgyn. Dr. Meimaris laughed in my face when I told her I had to go to the ER for treatment of the miscarriage when my body went into circulatory shock. She told me that I brought this life-threatening condition on myself due to my own anxiety and negativity about the situation and asked me how I was possibly going to have a baby in the future if I couldn't deal with this. Clearly she does not know the difference between mental and physical shock. But regardless, she was callous and rude and I left the appointment crying. Most of the other reviewers on yelp have similar stories and I can't understand why their responses are being filtered.
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 06:29 AM FlagThere are about 100 reviews on yelp but 70 of them have been filtered (all of them with 1 star ratings and similar concerns about her crazy, erratic behavior and lack of empathy). I'm not sure why yelp is doing this but I wanted to post elsewhere to hopefully stop a woman or two from going through the nightmare of visiting her for even one appointment.
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 06:31 AM Flag
Go to Dr.Huang I am a nut-case and she always made me feel as if my feelings matter and were valid. Sorry you had to go through such an awful experience.
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 06:34 AM FlagDr Huang was not my Dr but I was with Shulina in that practice. Huang wound up delivering my DB and was very sensitive when dealing with a tough situation (I wound up with a C-sec after trying for unmedicated birth). She came to talk to me after while I was in the recovery room and said not to worry, that I could try for a VBAC next time and that it had to be done (which she was right about)
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 06:40 AM FlagI found Dr Huang to be warm and caring too. Her office staff sucks though :( Maybe worth a try anyway?
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 10:31 AM Flag
[+] Found out I was pregnant a few days ago after IVF! Trying not to get ahead of myself ... 18 replies
- OR: I was surprised too, but my 2 MCs were chemicals a 4w5d and 5w2d. They felt like miscarriages emotionnally, but the REs don't seem to think they "count" as it was before they saw a heartbeat....
Talk : : March 21, 2012
Found out I was pregnant a few days ago after IVF! Trying not to get ahead of myself but wondering when I should make an appointment with an OB? Also wondering if anyone has recently given birth at NYU and what their experience was like. TIA!
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.21.12, 10:01 AM Flag ]Congratulations! However, take things one step at a time. Your RE will tell you when it is time. I "graduated" from my RE at cornell at 7.5 weeks after they saw the heartbeat. They told me at 6 weeks to start thinking about an OB, and that if they saw the heartbeat that I'd want an OB appointment for a week or two after that. This was my 3rd IVF, and I got pregnant each of the first two times, but miscarried both times before the RE could see a heartbeat.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:06 AM Flagthx, makes sense. I've heard that OBs get booked up very fast- ie women call the minute they get their pregnancy results. has that been the case in your experience?
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:15 AM Flagnp: it is my experience in NYC esp for high risk OBs. But your RE may have a relationship with a couple and be able to get you in. I would vote make the appointment with the OB. You can always cancel if you need to.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:20 AM FlagOR: I got in to see Dobrenis, who was the OB I wanted and seems to be a favorite here at UB for Cornell deliveries, very quickly. My RE said to call to make an OB appointment for 1-2 weeks out, and I got an appointment for 1.5 weeks out. My RE was willing to put in a word with her if she was booked. If you are really concerned, I supposed you can make an appointment, but not before you atre 8 or 9 weeks along.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:28 AM Flagpp: That's good news. Perhaps some are more booked up than others. My experience with Sharma/Kalish group and the Rebarber MFM group were that they booked up *very* fast. I had friends who could not get into either by their 8-9th week. I'm sure it also just depends on your due date as they book by due date.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:33 AM FlagOR: I hear you. I was thinking about Kalish, but there are some horror stories posted on here about her. Dobrenis seemed like the only OB that people didn't have a horror story about! Another thing is Dobrenis basically doesn't take insurance, so I'm sure that dissuades a lot of people from using her. I've been through so much to get to this point, I don't really care about cash paying if I need to.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:47 AM Flag
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Cornell and Mt. Sinai are generally considered the two "best" places to deliver unless you are sure you want a birthing center/natural route (though, of course, that is an option at C and S). C's private rooms are not that impressive and quite expensive, but the care is generally quite good. S's rooms are very nice and quite expensive + excellent care. I've worked in 3 of the major NYC hospitals, delivered in one, and delivered in two other places.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:37 AM FlagI have worked at both NYU, Cornell, and Mt.Sinai. I have also delivered at both NYU and Cornell. Overall, I think that Cornell has the best staff, followed by NYU and Mt. Sinai which are both probably comparable. If things went bad and your infant needed help, I would want to be at Cornell. For deliveries, I far preferred Cornell to NYU. The facilities at Cornell were just better, and it was a quieter and more peaceful and personal place. And I trusted the hospital and staff more (from my prior experience working there). Also, far too many residents and med students were involved with my delivery at NYU, as compared to Cornell. BUT of course you can get a great set of nurses at NYU and be thrilled, and a bad set at Cornell and be unhappy, so YMMV.
[ Reply | More ]04.10.12, 03:54 AM Flag
[+] After two miscarriages in two years, and getting used to the idea that we would not b... 16 replies
- I had 4 miscarriages between 40 and 42, had a healthy DC just after turning 43, then had a surprise pregnancy at 47, had DC just before turning 48. Both healthy, bright, normal kids, who bring great joy to me and DH. I am almost 60, in great...
Talk : : March 20, 2012
After two miscarriages in two years, and getting used to the idea that we would not be having children, I took a test tonight and it's positive!! I am 44. I am cautiously optimistic but also scared to death! Tell me something good....
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.20.12, 11:11 PM Flag ]-
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I had 4 miscarriages between 40 and 42, had a healthy DC just after turning 43, then had a surprise pregnancy at 47, had DC just before turning 48. Both healthy, bright, normal kids, who bring great joy to me and DH. I am almost 60, in great health. Hoping for the same for you!
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 03:17 PM FlagThank you so much....these posts have kept me going all day. Thanks for the support'
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 06:40 PM Flag
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[+] 7 Weeks pregnant and have a UTI - Can a UTI cause miscarriage? Can UTI antibiotics c... 8 replies
Talk : : March 19, 2012
[+] How bad is it if my 4yo ds barely does any playdates? I'm hoping being in school is e... 12 replies
- works out for you too on the pregnancy front, when it's the right time. My ds is one only child in his class and people ask all the time if we are going to have another. If only it were that easy! I just had a miscarriage last year so it makes it even harder. Eh, life....
Talk : : March 19, 2012
How bad is it if my 4yo ds barely does any playdates? I'm hoping being in school is enough socialization for now. (He's an only child but we are TTC.)
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.19.12, 03:51 PM Flag ]what is ttc? He will be fine he's only 4. Does he have local friends?
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 03:57 PM FlagOP, our DS is in the same position. he socializes in school. or when I take him to the park (we live across the street, so I do that a few times per week). DH is a lawyer, Im a surgical resident. sorry to sound like a bitch, but I dont have lots of spare time to have bullshit socliazation playdates sitting around talking to some other mommy. Id rather spend that time with MY CHILD! our nanny picks DS up and takes him to the park, and usually (weather permitting) ill take him back later. I like to spend my at home time with DS, not with DS and some other parent. He doesnt seem socially inept, and I'm just going with that.
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 04:07 PM FlagOP: Thanks. To be honest my ds had kind of a rough start in school. I won't say he's inept, but he definitely preferred to interact with adults instead of kids. He's gotten better now that he's been in school since Sept. He kind of had to learn how to interact with kids. I feel guilty because I *really* want a sibling for him, but it's been hard.
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 04:11 PM FlagOP, are you me, lol? DS started in Sept and also had a really hard time adjusting from being home f/t w/ nanny, to being in school. hes pretty mature and perceptive for a 4 yr old, OTOH, had a very hard time adjusting to things like sharing toys. took a few months, but I think we are on the right track. and the sibling guilt- same thing here. we tried 2 yrs ago for an entire yr. things didnt work out. now i feel guilty because - as a mom, I have this desire to parent another kid, and I feel bad for DS, who wants a sibling. but logistically, I cant get pregnant right now. the whole pregnancy situation makes me kinda sad, but I just try not to think about it right now :(. ack. but I get you on both fronts :)
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 04:29 PM FlagOP: Thanks. I hope it works out for you too on the pregnancy front, when it's the right time. My ds is one only child in his class and people ask all the time if we are going to have another. If only it were that easy! I just had a miscarriage last year so it makes it even harder. Eh, life.
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 04:34 PM FlagI also miscarried during that year of trying. it was during my 4th yr of med school. I was in Chicago, alone, freezing, interviewing for a residency position. it was a nighmare. missed my flight back. worst week of my life...just was not meant to be. and we are asked that all the time too, despite the fact that people know I am doing my residency! and not "if," but "when." we should have a playdate op ;).
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 04:38 PM Flag
[+] Hello Ladies, I am going to be 37 this month, have had a miscarriage, and am RH- and ... 2 replies
Talk : : March 19, 2012
[+] how many kids do you have? and do you want more? 30 replies
- 1, yes, but have had 5 miscarriages since birth of #1...
Talk : : March 18, 2012
[+] Ok - and just to add to the insurance for infertility question - how do you feel abou... 23 replies
- It's not about agreeing. I'm pointing out that medical problems are not just caused by older mothers. The rate of miscarriage is exponentially higher if the father is older. So a young trophy wife is having a miscarriage, and the world thinks it's her fault, but the reality is that its the grandpa hubby's fault. The typical American has no...
Talk : : March 18, 2012
Ok - and just to add to the insurance for infertility question - how do you feel about the fact that fertility treatments are also substantially dirving up delivery and newborn costs - more older moms - more complicated deliveries, more kids in neo natal - potentially more long and short term health risks and costs to mom - potentially also more SN kids (costing taxpayers more, etc.)
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.18.12, 11:49 AM Flag ]It's not just older moms lady. It's older DADs. In nature, like lions, the older males are driven out of the pack. They are useless.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 11:51 AM Flag-
It's not about agreeing. I'm pointing out that medical problems are not just caused by older mothers. The rate of miscarriage is exponentially higher if the father is older. So a young trophy wife is having a miscarriage, and the world thinks it's her fault, but the reality is that its the grandpa hubby's fault. The typical American has no idea about this.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 11:57 AM FlagReally, because it's been in all the news- no secret. I guess this means that your working definition of the "typical American" is one who does not read at all, even Newsweek?
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 12:31 PM FlagOh come on. Look at all the old dudes spawning. They don't want to stop do they? It's not in the news the same way it is about women. You know that.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 12:40 PM FlagActually, I don't---read all the latest about how a father's age affects the viability of offspring because it was there. I wasn't looking for info on the topic. If you want to make a case that the world conspires against women, I'm sure you can make a good one, but in this case the word is out.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 01:31 PM Flag
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How about paying for lung cancer treatment for smokers? Diabetes treatments for fat people? ERs for drivers in an accident if they were going 1 mph over the speed limit?
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 11:56 AM FlagGo research some statistics and come back when you realize how silly you are being. There are serious, and fixable, issues driving up medical costs - 40+ mothers are completely insignificant.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 12:02 PM FlagI believe there are more costs in our country from young people having kids than older people. I would venture to guess that the VAST majority of children on welfare were born to moms under the age of 25. I'm not talking about insurance costs, I'm talking about costs that come out of your tax dollars, and are much, much worse
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 02:33 PM FlagIs it though? What about babies born to women who use donor eggs, which, since they are eggs from women in their twenties, produce healthy babies and uncomplicated deliveries? I'm a woman who got pregnant in my mid forties. Thank god I had insurance that helped cover the whole thing. My pregnancy was utterly uncomplicated--I didn't even have water retention--and my baby born at term utterly healthy. We are so blessed and thankful; for the insurance, for the amazing medicine and doctors that are out there that helped bring this about. As my doctor said, it's not so much your age as how healthy you are. What's with the stirring up of resentment toward couples who struggle with infertility?
[ Reply | More ]03.19.12, 11:51 AM Flag
[+] Period was due 3/25. For the past week, I felt pregnant. Boobs were SO sore. Sore ... 2 replies
Talk : : March 17, 2012
Period was due 3/25. For the past week, I felt pregnant. Boobs were SO sore. Sore when I walked, sore when I slept, so sore. I was also tired in a different way. And somewhat nauseous. Anyway, yesterday, I suddenly had a lot of energy, and my boobs were suddenly not sore. This morning, full blown period. I have never been early, this is 8 days early. Is it an early miscarriage? I know it does not matter, but what is it? Do I start counting days for next time from today?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.17.12, 10:09 AM Flag ]
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Inside UrbanBaby
UrbanBabyBuzz
Probably the picture right to the side here, probably already has you judging this show. If so, Netflix’s description of the plot may turn you off still further: “Journey to the enchanted land of Equestria, where young unicorn ...
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UrbanBabyNewYork
A changing body during or after pregnancy means you’re ready to rethink your workout routine. Instead of denouncing the gym for weeks, then working yourself into a frenzy of Bikram yoga, spin and sprints in the park, it’s time for a ...
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