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[+] New study links autism and other disorders to maternal obesity. I wonder if that woul... 47 replies
- and trying to make parents feel like they can control the outcome of their children, which they really can't. austism and allergies are through the roof and NO ONE knows why....
- bet it has more to do with diet. That Obese people have deficiencies in certain nutrients and don't make the best food choices is pretty hard to argue....
Talk : : April 09, 2012
New study links autism and other disorders to maternal obesity. I wonder if that would also explain why there is a greater prevalence of developmental disorders in the lower socio-economic environments?
47 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 05:06 AM Flag ]My dc has autism. I am not old nor overweight. I am in a support group and many, many moms are neither. This is instance. Look at Jenny McCarthy. Things like this make us upset. Sorry but they do.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:02 AM Flagmy computer changes words - I wrote insane but it made it instance.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:03 AM Flagwhy does it make you insane? the study didn't say it was the only reason why children get autism. and clearly doctors still don't know very much about
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:05 AM Flag^^ sorry === about "being on the spectrum. The study only said that obese women (with i think type 2 diabetes and/or high blood pressure) are 70% more likely than non-obese, etc. women to have a child with autism.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:06 AM FlagIt makes me insane because what you may not know is that parents who have dc's with any type of challenge feel incredibly guilty. We spend hours secretly wondering if we ever did anything wrong if it was our fault and how we would do anything to change it. So to hear things like 'being overweight or poor or old' is just ignorant. Sorry I'm sensitive on this subject.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:11 AM Flagagain - why is it just ignorant? i am sorry you feel guilty.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:14 AM FlagBecause it implies that the parent could have avoided the outcome. This is not the case.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:17 AM FlagIA and i think all of these studies are grasping at straws, and trying to make parents feel like they can control the outcome of their children, which they really can't. austism and allergies are through the roof and NO ONE knows why.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:25 AM FlagIn many cases, it is not. But in some cases, the outcome may have been avoidable if the risk factors were known. If a link can be established between autism and a factor within someone's control, so much the better (although whether or not obesity is subject to easy control is another matter-signs are showing that it may not be.) It is pretty clear that many factors are involved in autism and that the mechanism for disease may be different for two children with the same diagnosis. I don't think it's wrong to isolate whatever influences you can, and no sane person is reading fault into this. I understand feeling guilty though. It's not a rational thing. I hope you win out over the guilt completely -you don't deserve to feel that way.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:59 AM Flag
if you feel so strong about it, go do an empirical study. i have heard of women (even on here) who have gotten pregnant at 45. i wouldn't generalize that to mean that 45 year old women have no fertility issues.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:21 AM FlagI got pg at 42 and delivered at 43. First/only. This makes it seem easy. It was not. I wish I began earlier. I had to have high risk specialist and luckily everything turned out perfectly. It isn't ideal to wait so long but some times life has different plans for us.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:35 AM Flag
OP. not trying to make moms feel bad, just commenting on a study that's out there. And there are more poor kids with special needs, that's just a fact . The more we study the more we'll learn, we can't keep our heads in the sand.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:35 AM Flagthose studies usually mount to nothing because we can't to double blind studies getting 100 random women pregnant at 40 and another random 100 pregnant at 22 and see the real results. i imagine bad fetal nutrition, prenatal care, substance abuse and bad infant care accounts for a lot of socioeconomic problems, not so much the obesity directly, though it could be a correlation with the general bad nutrition for the baby.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:45 AM Flag
Link to the study, please? Is there anything in there to suggest causation? I mean, obesity is way up across the board, so we could come up with correlations between maternal obesity and *anything* that's on the rise; it doesn't necessarily follow that there's a meaningful relationship there.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:15 AM Flaghttp://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2012/03/28/peds.2011-1601
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:23 AM Flag
Correlation, not causation. If I was stressed by all the needs of a SN DC, I might think weight management is not a priority for me.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:02 AM FlagThe ONLY correlation I have seen consistently cited is that the age of the father can relate to autism, i.e. the older the father the larger the risk. DH and I were pretty young and still have spectrum kid.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:19 AM FlagOur bodies have not caught up with our modern (sedentary) lifestyle. We aren't built to eat this much, sit this much, stare at a screen this much. We are hunters or hunter/gatherers, whose fertility is finite. We have to respect where our bodies are at and stop being surprised when we find out that our lifestyle contributed to health and disease. That said, I still don't think that this is a proven link to autism. And I think "autism" is a catch-all phrase, like "Asian" or "textiles".
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 09:26 AM Flag
From what I've read, I would bet it has more to do with diet. That Obese people have deficiencies in certain nutrients and don't make the best food choices is pretty hard to argue.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 10:26 AM FlagI have Aspergers. My mother was 23 when she had me and gained approximately 30 pounds on her normally 100 pound frame. While that might equate to some cases of autism, it definitely does not work from me. Both my uncle and my father both have Aspergers and I'm pretty sure my brother does too but he hasn't been formally diagnosed. I have a 3.5yr old dd who I am happy to say, seems NT. I'm not sure I would jump on any one reason for a catch all cause. There are lots of pieces in this puzzle.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:30 PM Flag
[+] Is this an allergy? 4 replies
- so is this an allergy? ON a few random occasions my 4 year old son ate his food and I didn't clean his mouth right away. He was drooling a bit and next thing you know he...looks dry and cracked. I usually put aquaphor to help it along. What could this be? I have found no food connections yet because each time it happened he was eating something he always eats and never had a problem with...
Talk : : April 08, 2012
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Sorry, I hit return by accident... so is this an allergy? ON a few random occasions my 4 year old son ate his food and I didn't clean his mouth right away. He was drooling a bit and next thing you know he has this big red blotchy mark under his mouth. It takes a week for it to go away and looks dry and cracked. I usually put aquaphor to help it along. What could this be? I have found no food connections yet because each time it happened he was eating something he always eats and never had a problem with before.
[ Reply | More ]04.08.12, 07:00 PM Flag
[+] If you were hosting a televised dinner party and had to prepare an appetizer, main an... 3 replies
Talk : : April 07, 2012
If you were hosting a televised dinner party and had to prepare an appetizer, main and dessert for 4 strangers, what would you make? The food needs to be interesting but not weird. I have no idea who the other 4 will be or food preferences/allergies etc.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.07.12, 08:05 PM Flag ]
[+] Just gave 6 month old pureed avocado for first time. Reaction was borderline violnet ... 8 replies
- Maybe a nut allergy?...
- I didn't start my baby on solid foods until 7 months and it was only rice or other hot cereal for a month. After that whatever mashable food I was eating was what he was eating too. Try avocado mixed in with...
- 6 months is pretty early to be starting on foods, unless she's formula fed....
Talk : : April 07, 2012
Just gave 6 month old pureed avocado for first time. Reaction was borderline violnet - looked as if she was gagging and going to vomit. Similair for bananas and butternut squah. Liked sweet potatos and peas so far. Do i keep trying with the avocaods or just move on? What are other good options for first foods? Making myself fwiw. Thanks!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.07.12, 01:54 PM Flag ]Same stage here. Sweet potatoes were also a hit. I tried carrots before that. Did them three nights in a row. First two she was sort of disinterested, but on the third, she was scarfing them down! I think it takes a few times for them to get used to new textures/flavors.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 01:57 PM FlagI didn't start my baby on solid foods until 7 months and it was only rice or other hot cereal for a month. After that whatever mashable food I was eating was what he was eating too. Try avocado mixed in with another food she likes and see what the reaction is. Don't give up!
[ Reply | More ]04.07.12, 01:59 PM Flag
[+] PED. ALLERGIST: anyone have a great ped. allergist to recommend? My dd has been teste... 8 replies
- Anyone at the Jaffee Food Allergy Clinic at Mt. Sinai (specifically Dr. Sicherer). Excellent. We used...cases too. Because they are researchers they also have a lot of food allergy desensitization protocol they are now using. GL!...
- stay with him but we need someone else for this mystery allergy...
Talk : : April 06, 2012
PED. ALLERGIST: anyone have a great ped. allergist to recommend? My dd has been tested twice for nut allergies but only blood test (no skin test). She continues to have these reactions when eating things with some sort of nut. The blood tests were negative for nut allergies. Should I have this Dr give a skin test? Are they more sensitive or look for someone new? BTW she saw Dr Ehrlich
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.06.12, 07:15 AM Flag ]-
Anyone at the Jaffee Food Allergy Clinic at Mt. Sinai (specifically Dr. Sicherer). Excellent. We used to fly in from FL just to see them.
[ Reply | More ]04.06.12, 08:27 AM Flagsp: BTW, our ds sees Dr. Erlich too (shots, asthma)--I'd say he's nice and he runs a good office, but I think for more indepth testing, Mt. Sinai is a more complex clinic. They really deal with a lot of unusual cases too. Because they are researchers they also have a lot of food allergy desensitization protocol they are now using. GL!
[ Reply | More ]04.06.12, 08:44 AM Flag-
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[+] 12 weeks pregnant and have had diarrhea for the past 5 days. Called my doctor's offi... 4 replies
- went away on its own after a few more days, but just make sure you stay very hydrated and eat bland foods...
- BTDT, It turned out that I had a wheat allergy that came out when I got pregnant. Your general immune system is depressed to keep you from " rejecting" the baby and allergies can appear. I had horrible D for my entire pregnancy. When it didnt go away went to gastro who diagnosed Celiac...
Talk : : April 05, 2012
12 weeks pregnant and have had diarrhea for the past 5 days. Called my doctor's office and they said there is nothing I can take and just need to let it run it's course. If it continues to persist, need to give a stool sample. Anyone had this before? Could this just be a part of morning sickness/hormones or should I assume it is something more serious? Been sticking to bland foods (the BRAT diet) but nothing is helping.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.05.12, 08:30 AM Flag ]BTDT, It turned out that I had a wheat allergy that came out when I got pregnant. Your general immune system is depressed to keep you from " rejecting" the baby and allergies can appear. I had horrible D for my entire pregnancy. When it didnt go away went to gastro who diagnosed Celiac....GL
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 09:55 AM Flag
[+] Any advice? DD (2.5) diagnosed with cough-variant asthma 6 months ago. Has been on ... 35 replies
- Are you sure re: allergies? Mold, pollen, dogs, cats (even if she visits homes with...hospital in NYC--if you are here. They have a great food allergy clinic as well as top notch pediatric asthma specialists...
- Thanks! She was just tested for all those allergies yesterday, all negative (we have a dog she's...anything to help the post nasal drip other than allergy medication, but that has never eliminated it....
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Any advice? DD (2.5) diagnosed with cough-variant asthma 6 months ago. Has been on flovent and albuterol for symptoms since then, but they are not helping. Whenever she gets a slight runny nose it turns into a miserable hacking cough that she can't shake for weeks. Took her to an allergist, she doesn't have allergies and was prescribed nasonex and zyrtec for all the mucous. Cough makes her vomit frequently and wakes her up multiple times a night. Seeing her ped this week and want to push for further testing, this does not seem normal. Should we see an ENT? Look into alternative medicine? Anyone btdt?
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 10:09 AM Flag ]have you tried cutting out all dairy for a couple of weeks to see if there's any improvement?
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:18 AM FlagNo, pediatrician said there is no need (though she eats very little dairy as it is, mostly just an occasional cheese stick, only drinks milk a few times a week). But I will ask about that again.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:21 AM Flagjust try it and see if it works -- get calcium from other sources. if you see no difference, try cutting out wheat products for two weeks and see if that works. dc won't experience a nutritional deficit and you may actually find out what's going on.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:21 AM Flag^^also, recognize that "dairy" is more than milk and cheese. if you're cutting out all dairy, you're cutting out anything that has milk in it, so she will basically be eating protein, whole grains, vegetables, and fruit.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:23 AM Flag
Are you sure re: allergies? Mold, pollen, dogs, cats (even if she visits homes with pets it can trigger a late response cough). But it sounds pretty typical unfortunately. My ds was dx'd with asthma at age 6mo. He got better when he got a little older b/c his immune system kicked in (prior to that kids get colds 10x a year) and his airways widened a bit. He vomited too. Your doctor may want to play around with medications. All don't work for every kid and sometimes you have to rotate them. My ds was on a variety of steroids and nasal steroids. It sounds like a solid plan, but don't hesitate to keep following up so they know. I also found a great asthma/allergy clinic at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC--if you are here. They have a great food allergy clinic as well as top notch pediatric asthma specialists. Sometimes ped.s just don't have all the answers. GL!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:32 AM FlagThanks! She was just tested for all those allergies yesterday, all negative (we have a dog she's lived with since birth). She actually hasn't had too many colds but when she does get one it lingers forever with the cough. Pulminologist and allergist said she has a lot of congestion and inflammation, fluid in one ear and a "small throat"... I hate having her on all these meds especially since they don't seem to be working!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:34 AM Flag
My dd was in exactly the same situation at the same age. We stopped the flovent, used only abuterol at the first sign of the slightest cold and it worked pretty well. We also had to keep humidifiers on her room at night no matter the weather. Also, now at 7 she seems pretty much to have outgrown it. It got better every year.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:35 AM Flag-
^^ Allergist said to stop flovent and albuterol and try the nasonex/zyrtec but I had to give albuterol today because she just can't stop coughing. We always have a humidifier too (and have central air, so no dry heat) but she's just miserable.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:37 AM FlagI know. It is so hard! Is she having a post-nasal drip problem? I found that increased my dd's problems. By the way, she still has allergies and was on zyrtec yesterday and today. The nasonex never worked for us.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:40 AM Flag^^ also propping her up at an angle at night helped. You can buy a soft wedge.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:41 AM Flag-
The allergist thinks the issue is post-nasal drip, but it might be reflux. She doesn't have allergies but clearly something is making her nose run like crazy...
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:43 AM Flagpost-nasal drip is more likely, I think. My daughter still has many problems with it and also get congested easily. As her sinuses mature/grow I bet it will be easier. It was exactly at 2.5 that we started all of this and I didn't think I could take listening to her cough like that for the rest of her life!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:55 AM Flagat 2.5, whenever my DD got a cold, she would cough at night for hours straight it was horrible. I always thought it was a combo of postnasal drip, plus her reflux. She was a severe refluxer as a child and had a senstive gag reflux and the cycle was horrible. now, at 7, it is a lot better. she sinus rinses twice a day every day. she started doing it (sinus rinse) herself at age 4. when she gets a cold, I am very militant that she has to drink tons of water. I also give her mucinex during the day. I don't know if any of this helps, but it does get better, I promise.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:07 AM FlagThank you. DD has never been dx with reflux, but the allergist thinks that could be a cause especially since she vomits frequently from the coughing. She's too young to do a sinus rinse (one squirt of nasonex in each nostril is a big struggle) but I imagine that would help... unfortunately I don't think I can wait until she's 4 and can manage that!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:08 AM Flag
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my DS has the same problem. We use to give him zyrtec at the first onset of a drippy nose and that dried him up so he wouldn't get the post-nasal drip that would lead to the resiratory problems. It worked really well until they recalled the children's zyrtec. We were told to switch to claritin but the side effects were crazy mood swings and nightmares. We would appreciate any other recommendations because he also descends into wheezing, needing albuterol and numerous doctor visits.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:27 AM FlagBecause of bad side effects from conventional steroid-based med's, dc uses nebulizer (with mask) twice a day with cromolyn sodium. Also zyrtek nightly, claritin in am, nasonex with a cold, albuterol if necessary. Sinucleanse, but your dd is too young. Steam over hot water with eucalyptus oil (put towel over head so it's like a mini-sauna).
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 06:27 PM Flag
[+] Financial moms what would you do? We have 3dc ages 9,3,nb. HHI 280K dual income wit... 54 replies
- Just give her a bite and watch. There are VERY few foods that babies actually can't have. People get crazy over these things. If you have family history of food allergies you can always give it under Dr. supervision (or just pick a restaurant right near Dr. in case something goes wrong.) But honestly, most kids will be fine, and...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Financial moms what would you do? We have 3dc ages 9,3,nb. HHI 280K dual income with not much upside potential. We own our apartment and our monthly housing cost after tax deduction is less than 4K. We are 40 and 38. Our 401K is only 250K. #1 is in public school. Nanny costs 40K which is less than daycare for 2 younger kids. We are contributing 10% to 401K but are saving only 12 to 20 K a year outside of 401K. We don’t have cable, phone land-line etc. We don’t go out much but I do buy quality food at Trader, Fairway etc. We take 1 budget vacation a year. How can we save for college for 3 children? It doesn’t seem possible.
54 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 07:20 AM Flag ]Max out you 401ks first. Dh willxbe over 591/2 for most of the time the youngest is in college and can accessnto 401k money without penalty. When db starts k your childcare costs will go way down using afterschool and camp. You'll be able to save more then.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:25 AM FlagGood point about 401K, we will increase it. However when #3 will start K #1 will be 14 so we will only have 4 years of potentially lower childcare costs. We will still need a part time babysitter for after school + break/summer childcare and I am not sure this is going to be all that much cheaper than full time nanny. We couldn't possible afford camp for 3 kids.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:30 AM Flag
Just give her a bite and watch. There are VERY few foods that babies actually can't have. People get crazy over these things. If you have family history of food allergies you can always give it under Dr. supervision (or just pick a restaurant right near Dr. in case something goes wrong.) But honestly, most kids will be fine, and if anything at all it will be minor rash, not anaphlylactic (no idea how to spell that).
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:34 AM FlagSell your apt. and move somewhere where you can live on less. We're in Hoboken and our monthly mortgage, maintenance, & taxes is only 2k.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:02 AM FlagI didn't think Hoboken was that inexpensive, what size apartment is this? We have 3 dcs so we can't live in one room. Additionally our #1 is in good public. I am not sure our housing costs are all that high given # of children and a good public school option.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:08 AM FlagLarge 2 bed + den / 2 bath + backyard. 3/4 bedrooms are in shorter supply, but you can find them. Free public preschool program is great and the schools are getting better - MUCH better than NYC schools. We have 2 great charter schools, affordable Catholic, and the K - 8 schools are greatly improving - you can't just look at test scores because there are large #s of low-income students in the public system. They have just put in a real G&T program though and I have several close friends who are happy in the public system.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:19 AM Flagnp:you can love your choice of Hoboken without bashing all nyc schools. Hoboken publics are "MUCH" better than nyc schools, really? Better than 199, 6,9,40, 41, 234, etc. Nyc g&ts have been excellent. You sound like a PR person trying to defend low test scores. Many of us live affordably in manhattan and our kids are in great publics (we live in 3bed/2bath in south harlem with full amenities and only $3k/month for mortgage, maintenance and taxes, and our dcs are in great publics)
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:35 AM FlagThe Hoboken schools are better than most of the NYC schools currently - there's much more money and smaller classes. It's much easier to navigate a small school system and easier to make changes. I went to 41 and know there are a few decent schools in the city, but OP's issue was trying to save on the 4k / monthly housing nut.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:05 AM Flagop: my question was to get overall advice. I don't think we can realistically pay much less in housing than we do now if we live in an area with a good school, decent commute etc. We will pay around 100K for a sale/purchase transaction to move to Hoboken and I am not convinced housing in Hoboken is that much cheaper. My dc is in an excellent school that raises a lot of funds etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:53 AM Flag
OP: I do not believe that 2 bed + den / 2 bath + backyard in Hoboken is going to cost 2K a month.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:43 AM FlagIt depends - how much equity do you have in your apartment? How many bedrooms would you need? Rates are sooo low now, it's amazing how cheap things are. Our mortgage payment is 1200/ mo.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:08 AM FlagOP: I don't care about backyard. We have a 1400 square foot apartment with doorman and an elevator 1/2 a block from the subway station. How much would an apartment similar to ours cost in Hoboken? (we don't care about doorman, but close to the station is important since I work and want to see the kids and the commute would be much longer to Hoboken)
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:20 AM FlagI'd stay where you are and either try to make some more money or save more when you're done w/ the nanny. You'd be looking at around 800k for similar in Hoboken and depending on where you work, your commute may be longer or shorter. Mine's much shorter than people who live on UES or UWS.. but it's more expensive because I pay for the ferry instead of taking the PATH (both are options).
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:14 AM Flag
Once younger DCs are in school (public) you will be able to start saving. That's what we did -- afterschool care or p/t babysitter is much cheaper, but you do need some backup for when DC are sick (there are plenty of holiday camps out there). Also, don't think you have to save 100% for college. DCs should be expected to take some loans, IMO (makes it more meaningful for them), and at your ages, you will be able to fund some of it from your current income while they are in school.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 08:44 AM FlagThanks. I think we have the huge gap in kids ages working against us. There will only be 4 years between the youngest starting K and oldest starting college. After-school at my dc's school is $30 a day, so $60 for two kids. This doesn't seem much cheaper than a full time nanny who reliably provides coverage for sick days, vacations, and summer for all 3 kids + helps with housekeeping/cooking which is a lot of work with 3 children and 2 WOH parents.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:15 AM Flag
What is this "after tax deduction"? What is your total monthly carrying costs (CC+Tax+Mortgage)?
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:03 AM Flagat some point you will also pay off your mortgage. that will free up money
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:23 AM Flaggood point but it will be 27 years from now:( Would you say we should try to prepay our mortgage as a way to free up money in the future? Our mortgage is 30 year fixed at 4%.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:37 AM FlagYou can barely save any money each year and think paying off your mortgage might be a good idea?! I see why you need help.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:22 AM Flagop: I am not sure how paying down the mortgage is not a reasonable saving vehicle. I find it questionable because our interest is so low but we are not making more on our investments. It is much easier to save if you make more money or have fewer children.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:30 AM FlagHow is it a savings vehicle? Only if you sell your apartment. And a paydown of 15K per year will notput much of a dent in the length, but it will reduce your deduction as the interest portion goes down.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:55 AM FlagPutting $600 a month extra toward mortgage (so less than 1/2 of annual savings) cuts down our payment schedule by 10 years. This would mean that when our youngest goes to college our housing costs would be reduced to maint+tax. I do agree that with a 4% interest rate it is not wise and that is why we haven't been doing this. Additionally when our youngest moves away to college we could potentially downsize.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:03 AM Flag
Once all the kids are in public school, you will start having a lot more left over.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:52 AM Flagmy oldest is 9 and my youngest is nb so there will not be much of a break between nanny and college:(
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 09:54 AM FlagAre you planning to keep the 40K full time nanny even when your youngest goes to pre-k? I had two in daycare in NYC, and it did not cost 40K/yr.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:22 AM FlagMy youngest is a nb, so we have 5 more years until free public K. Infant daycare in our area is 28K a year and has waiting lists. Additionally our nanny works longer hours than daycare is open and helps me with the household. Even though my oldest is self sufficient he still requires breakfast, dinner, checking his school work, after school pickup etc. My life would be unmanageable with 2 youngest in daycare plus a 9 yo and it would definitely be more expensive. DH travels for work 50% of the time.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:39 AM Flag
When the youngest starts K you get rid of the nanny. The oldest will be 14 and doesn't need childcare. Afterschool and camps for the two younger ones can be done for less than $20 (not fancy camps, maybe Oasis). That saves you $20k per year for 4 years before older starts college. You apparently have some savings now and you'll continue to save your 12-20k forever. By the time the oldest is in college the middle one won't need childcare and you'll be able to put that money towards #1s tuition. When #1 is ready for college your childcare costs will be gone so that $40k can be his tuition until $3 starts and at that poitn dh can tap his retirement accounts. All of these numbers will go up with inflation but so should your salaries and your mortage will stay the same.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:37 AM Flagop: I agree with this but do you think with this plan we will actually have enough $$ to retire? It basically means that all of our savings would be used toward college costs. I just looked at Oasis and it would is $3335 for 8 weeks per child (and this doesn't cover the entire summer break). I am not sure what 14 year olds do in the summer but I expect they don't just hang around by themselves all summer and are too young to hold a job.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:51 AM Flag3335 * 2 plus 3200 *2 for afterschool. You or dh take vacation to cover the other days. This is what we do. So 13.5 k for chipdcare down from 40. Even if you need some coverage for.other breaks you're saving tons. 14 year olds who's families cant afford enrichment activities find free things to do or work as mother's helpers.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:58 AM Flagnp: Let me guess, IRL you a negative person, aren't you. Why did you even post if you weren't really looking for help and just wanted to vent. It is completely possible to have 3 kids in NYC and pay for a portion of college on 280K. You just have to make choices, and you just don't want to hear it.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 10:59 AM FlagMaybe I am negative or maybe I am doing the actual math. In-fact above advice of cheap camp costing less than $20 a day turns out to be $166 a day for 2 kids. Same with $3200 for two after-schools, our after-school is $30/day so $60/day for 2 kids and with other school breaks, sick days etc it just doesn't work out to be much cheaper than nanny/housekeeper who we can hire at 32K/year when all kids are in school and she can help with housekeeping/cooking etc. I am not looking to buy myself a more difficult life for the same $.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:23 AM FlagWow. Reading your response just answered the question. You sound so angry/frustrated with your lot and the posters on this board.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:31 AM Flagok. I am not angry or frustrated infect I feel blessed. We have a great life, great apartment, wonderful nanny and our dc is in a great public school. I think advice about upping our 401K was a good suggestion and I didn't think of my dh's age being exactly penalty free withdrawal when youngest dc goes to college. Advice about cutting costs via camps and after-school just doesn't add up when I do the numbers. You can tell me to run a marathon in order to feel less tired and it would make about the same amount of sense.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:47 AM Flag
I didn't mean $20/day I meant that you can get cheaper than $20k per kid per year for childcare. those afterschool numbers are what we use. that's what I meant by "that is what we do". Your kids aren't going to want to just hang out with the nanny all summer and have no activities so you'll end up paying more than just nanny costs. Your exact afterschool $ may be different than mine but you don't seems to be willing to take any of the suggestions anyone is offering. I'm sure you and dh get some time off from work but you're complaining about 1/2 week in June and 1 1/2 weeks at the end of the summer. Most people take time off for family time for these breaks.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:46 AM FlagThe only advice I am not considering is moving to Hoboken which will add $ and time to my commute and will do very little else. I did consider your advice. That is why I looked at Oasis website (I didn't know about this camp and may use it someday so thank you) After-school at our dc's school is $30/day. There are 180 school days a year so that is $10,800 + $6,670 for camp that covers 8 weeks so that is $17,470 and we will not be able to cover all other school breaks, sick days, PT conferences etc with our vacations so there will be other expenses. I will consider all this 5 years from now but at this point it is still 5 years away.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:01 PM FlagThat leaves you $22,500 of savings if you get rid of the nanny to cover those 1/2 days and other school breaks. Yes, it's 5 years away but at that time you'll have 12 years to save for the youngest and 9 for #2.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:05 PM FlagThat is true. I will see in 5 years. Judging by my experience today I can have a nanny for 30K who will do some housekeeping, pickup kids from school and cover school beaks, sick days etc. So the difference between nanny and after-school/camp would be around 12K. This is a lot of $ however I am not sure I can handle all of the pickups/drop-offs/cooking/cleaning/shopping etc since my dh is out of town 1/2 of the time. I will probably end up ordering out and having to get a housekeeper that will eat away some of the savings. Maybe I will adjust to the 3 kids and will be able to handle it just fine. Thanks for your advice.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:40 PM Flag
eight weeks is pretty damn close to the whole public school break.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 11:08 AM Flag
[+] Thoughts on giving my 10 month old scrabled eggs? I want her to try her grandma's ma... 13 replies
- had a great time gumming it all for breakfast. If there are no signa of allergies, there's no problem...
- np: allergies...
- - but just watch and don't introduce any other new foods for 3 days....
- know if that's the reason but my dd's egg allergy is such a pain to manage, constantly reading ingredients in everything...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
Thoughts on giving my 10 month old scrabled eggs? I want her to try her grandma's matzoh balls this weekend which have eggs in them, so I thought she should have eggs plain first. No allergies in the family, so far she loves to eat everything.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 07:01 AM Flag ]-
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probably fine. My pediatrician recommended waiting until at least 1yo. I didn't know that I gave her eggs at about 10mos. She didn't have any negative reaction. Most kids don't. I don't see how waiting 2mos is going to change whether she can tolerate eggs or not. I'd give it a try.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:14 AM FlagIt's fine. Give her a little bite off your plate if you're nervous about it, but eggs are totally fine.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 07:49 AM FlagGave one of my dc's egg yolks at about 8 or 9 months old and now she is terribly allergic to eggs. Don't know if that's the reason but my dd's egg allergy is such a pain to manage, constantly reading ingredients in everything and so many restaurants she can't eat at because of cross contamination. I'd hold off til she's older, it's not worth it.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 12:37 PM Flag
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[+] Silly question but I appreciate input: DH is having a client and his wife over for dr... 40 replies
- Do I just go to whole foods and ask for cheese suggestions? and should I have...
- Whole Foods usually have good cheese mongers....
- If you're going to Whole Foods, I'd get assorted olives, cheeses, and fruit. one...from all the cheese suggestions, I'd do finger foods only: olives, excellent potato chips, grapes, crostini with something...
Talk : : April 02, 2012
Silly question but I appreciate input: DH is having a client and his wife over for drinks (pre-dinner drinks, around 6:30 PM if that matters). I rarely entertain, and when I do it's with mom friends and I serve chips/salsa and casual type of snacks. Does anyone have suggestions for more appropriate food I can serve? Because of a nut allergy, nothing with nuts. TIA!
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.02.12, 12:44 PM Flag ]-
Do I just go to whole foods and ask for cheese suggestions? and should I have some sort of fruit on the side like grapes?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:46 PM Flagnp Three or five cheeses (odd numbers look best) on a nice wooden board with green and red seedless grapes. I'd do brie (don't like it myself), goat (ditto), smoked Gouda, a good cheddar and blue (also don't like, but others do). Baguette, melba toast, nice crackers and nice bread sticks. And maybe a bowl of good olives.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:48 PM Flag
Run to Costco. They have spinach dips and fish dips. Buy crackers, cheeses, fruits.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:48 PM Flag-
If you're going to Whole Foods, I'd get assorted olives, cheeses, and fruit. one soft cheese like a brie, one hard like a manchego/gouda, and one maybe blue. for fruit I'd get strawberries and grapes and dried fruit (dried apricots).
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:48 PM FlagTHIS. What I do is make a cheese plate with crackers - 2-3 cheeses like above, a little thing of fruit spread for the cheese. (The dried apricots are a good idea too. I also get do a little tray of things from the olive bar - olives, those big white beans, and maybe the artichokes or something else. I use a long tray that has separated sections. Also maybe a hummus plate - hummus w/ carrots, cut up green/red/yellow peppers, broccoli and cherry tomatoes - just make it colorful. This is all more than enough.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:55 PM FlagPoster below, and I disagree with your suggestions! No one ever eats the crudite, except moms at kiddie birthdays. Blue cheese will stink to high heaven. As far as the olive bar, do you find that people eat the artichokes and gigante beans? I think they are too big/oily.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 05:00 PM Flag
OR: Don't overdo it for 4 people or you'll look like you're trying too hard
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:50 PM FlagOP here - thanks for the suggestions. These are all great and very easy for me to prepare with two small kids. For drinks, I have a few different beer, red and white wine, and sparkling water on hand. Do I need to get any hard liquor or is what I have okay?
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 12:54 PM FlagJust to differ from all the cheese suggestions, I'd do finger foods only: olives, excellent potato chips, grapes, crostini with something on it (crab and avocado, or a roasted pepper spread and goats cheese), gougeres or spanikopitas or something else hot if you can find them in your freezer section, or mini mozzerella balls on toothpicks. My thoughts on cheese: it can be smelly (fine if with friends, less so if you don't know the others), requires work, and has an awkward dynamic of needing to use the knife, someone is always sitting in front of it, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.02.12, 04:20 PM Flag
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[+] MOms Of children with food allergies- how would you feel about a birthday party that... 10 replies
- know what the activity will be. Anyone w/ a serious allergy will provide an alternative activity for their child. Serious allergies...ahead of time the activity so that if there are allergies those parents can prepare....
- Few kids have life-threatening nut allergies...to the party. It's not your responsibility. This allergy hysteria has gotten out of hand....
- have epipens with them at all time. don't kid yourself that food allergies are some media hype....
Talk : : March 31, 2012
MOms Of children with food allergies- how would you feel about a birthday party that had cookie-decorating as one of the activities? Cookies and toppings would be nut-free.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.31.12, 01:21 PM Flag ]I don't expect people to base a party around my kids allergy. It's nice if you offer options but I don't get mad if you don't. Cookie decorating is always a hit and if you want to go an extra step you could find other cookies for the kids with allergies to have like gluten free and dairy free cookies from Whole Foods.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 01:24 PM FlagI don't worry about this shit. If your kid has allergies, that's your concern, not mine. Come to our party, or don't come. Whatever.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 01:27 PM FlagI wouldn't mind. If I were at all concerned about the ingredients, I would bring my own for my child to do. Would you be offended if I asked what the ingredients were? Would that be high maintenance of me?
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 01:29 PM Flag-
then I think you're fine. I don't by the way believe that people have to cater to my child's allergy. That's my responsibility, but I do think it is very nice of you to let people know ahead of time the activity so that if there are allergies those parents can prepare.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 01:42 PM Flag
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Few kids have life-threatening nut allergies and you're not even doing nuts. I don't know of any non-nut life-threatening allergies, although I'm sure there are some. Those parents should be on the ball enough to tell you about them and/or not come to the party. It's not your responsibility. This allergy hysteria has gotten out of hand.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.12, 01:51 PM FlagWow, all you haters are missing the point that maybe OP wants the kids to come to the party. If you aren't inviting kids that your dc likes and wants to have a the party then there is no reason to care. but, if dc wants these friends to come, why not take simple steps to make the party more welcoming? And, FWIW, I know two kids with life-threatening wheat allergies. they have to have epipens with them at all time. don't kid yourself that food allergies are some media hype.
[ Reply | More ]04.01.12, 06:48 PM Flag
[+] DD has been having stomach issues and her doctor is suggesting a 24-hour pH probe. A... 4 replies
- It sounds pretty drastic and invasive to me. How bad are her stomach issues? Are you sure it isn't a minor food allergy or irritable bowel syndrome? Has she had endoscopy? How old is she?...
- She had an endoscopy. They didn't see any evidence of food allergies....
Talk : : March 30, 2012
[+] Hi, I'm going on my first playdate with my two girls. Should I bring something (ie: c... 6 replies
- smiles if you bring baked goods when you come over. Never a bad idea- it's always a kind gesture even if the host tosses them after you leave because of allergies/ crazy diet/ germophobe who won't take food from other homes/ whatever. It's still a nice gesture....
Talk : : March 29, 2012
Hi, I'm going on my first playdate with my two girls. Should I bring something (ie: cookies, etc)over to the parent's house? If so, what?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 05:07 PM Flag ]Haha that's funny... "I'm going on a playdate". But- to answer your question- sure, everyone smiles if you bring baked goods when you come over. Never a bad idea- it's always a kind gesture even if the host tosses them after you leave because of allergies/ crazy diet/ germophobe who won't take food from other homes/ whatever. It's still a nice gesture.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 05:09 PM FlagI always try and bring something. Usually make cookies with the kids. They love to measure the flour, its the closest you get to a clean sandbox in nyc :). I put a large tray on the table to catch the spills and my 2 yr old loves it. He can measure flour for about 30 minutes.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 05:51 PM Flag
[+] Updated autism studies: 1 in 88 kids in the US are affected. Scary. 43 replies
- Not specific foods, but rather the hormones and outright poisons in our...know what the incidences are in other countries. Our food is particularly tainted, more so than some of the...country will risk to make money, including genetically modified food, radiating meat to keep it fresh, pesticides, preservatives,...there have always been this many kids with disabilities, allergies, etc? Not when I was growing up in the...
Talk : : March 29, 2012
Updated autism studies: 1 in 88 kids in the US are affected. Scary.
43 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 10:05 AM Flag ]What's scary is how many people don't think our environment and the food it produces has anything to do with that.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:10 AM FlagI have never heard a connection to food, only older fathers. Also, there is a bit of genetics too because there can be instances along family lines.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:54 AM Flagmercury in fish. Populations that eat a lot of of fish have higher levels of autism.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 11:11 AM Flag-
there's a lot of info on this on autism sites, but skeptics are probably quick to dismiss those. I found this independent paper: http://www.dnrec.delaware.gov/whs/awm/info/regs/documents/d7a9dca41a624e6d8f50eb9f0df4565cpalmer_et_al.pdf
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 12:15 PM Flagand http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2581505/
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 12:16 PM Flag
over-diagnosis of spectrum disorders. and way overmedicated kids.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:18 AM FlagYes and No. My nephew is Autistic and I don't see anything wrong with him other than he will be a C student.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:21 AM FlagI work with some people I swear are on the spectrum to some degree. IA they are probably functioning at about a C grade level. Just enough to get by, but never enough to excel or rise too high, though they may think they will.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:32 AM Flagnp: One of my relatives has a hobby that many autistic people are into. He says that among the old timers, even though they never had the term "autism," there were many with similar problems who often lived very closed lives (e.g. with their parents at 50) and worked for entities like the post office. I wonder what the incidence was back then. The question is how much of a rise there really has been, or maybe it is more diagnosis of a problem that's been out there for ages.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:48 AM Flag-
The "spectrum" is very broad, included aspergers through severe, nonverbal autism.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:34 AM FlagAlso curious to know what the incidences are in other countries. Our food is particularly tainted, more so than some of the lesser developed countries. Quite unbelievable what the powers that be in our country will risk to make money, including genetically modified food, radiating meat to keep it fresh, pesticides, preservatives, etc etc etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:36 AM Flag-
Such bs- this is all the result of no child left behind. It is amazing that legislation can affect diagnoses this way.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 10:43 AM FlagWhat they really should look at as well is how many kids grow out of their autism. Kids with severe autism don't, but many kids with functioning Aspergers do. It would be interesting to see what kind of a rise in severe cases there has been over the years and what kind of a rise in Aspergers.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 11:08 AM FlagIt's not so much that kids outgrow Aspberger's, as social training and OT can help them learn to function typically despite it. I do think the older Aspberger's folks in my family would have been better off in their lives if they'd had the interventions as kids that exist now.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 11:25 AM Flag
The definition of autism, as well as screening for it, have changed dramatically over the last few decades. If you applied 1970 guidelines, you wouldn't see such a drastic increase. It's also kind of like cancer--there are many different types, of different seriousness, and they seem to have different causes. Aspberger's, for example, seems to be genetic (and sex-linked, like color blindness--much more prevalent in boys).
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 11:22 AM Flag
[+] I can't believe some moron on this site is actually advocating not vaccinating agains... 83 replies
- and so does the introduction of food! facepalm....
- The introduction of food correlates with the population percentage vaccinated? This is obviously another thread...a society have been more cautious in the last 10 yrs on food introduction than ever before, and yet severe food allergies are on the uptick....
Talk : : March 28, 2012
I can't believe some moron on this site is actually advocating not vaccinating against Polio bc it's not a problem in the US anymore
83 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.28.12, 12:51 PM Flag ]It's amazing. She's probably college educated, too. And so selfish and short-sighted.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 12:54 PM FlagYou are a freak who took me out of context. I was saying I don't see harm in delaying the polio vaccination if someone wants to bc the US hasn't had a case in such a long time. Unless you are planning to travel overseas with DC before the age of 5, there is no rush.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:02 PM Flag^^The last cases of naturally occurring paralytic polio in the United States were in 1979, when an outbreak occurred among the Amish in several Midwestern states. From 1980 through 1999, there were 162 confirmed cases of paralytic polio cases reported. Of the 162 cases, eight cases were acquired outside the United States and imported. The last imported case caused by wild poliovirus into the United States was reported in 1993. The remaining 154 cases were vaccine-associated paralytic polio (VAPP) caused by live oral poliovirus vaccine (OPV).
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:03 PM Flag^^and this would be pulled from the CDC website. http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/polio/dis-faqs.htm
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:04 PM Flag
I am not a freak. I read your response. Even if there is a small chance of ONE child getting polio in the US, the severity of the disease warrants vaccination at the schedule recommended by the CDC, which includes the first shot at 2 months. The REASON why there aren't more cases, is because people have been vaccinating!
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:05 PM FlagOK, let me say this ONE MORE TIME. I am not against vaccinating for polio. I do think that vaccinations are important. The point I was trying to make is that if someone really wanted to wait until their child was 5 for WHATEVER FREAKING REASON, they would be fine. It isn't required until the age of 5 by our government (at least for public school admittance).
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:10 PM FlagNP: That's just silly. Isn't Polio transmitted by fecal matter? If a person chooses to delay it a bit, there is no harm. I didn't read the original post, but the responder seems to have a valid opinion - just because it's different than yours, doesn't warrant the ranting and raving. By her response I'm going to guess her kids are fully vaccinated - mostly on schedule.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:10 PM FlagNo, it's an opinion based on someone who is mistakenly benefiting from herd immunity and thinking that because we live in the US we are immune from all these diseases that were rampant just 30 years ago and are still a problem in the rest of the world
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:17 PM Flagnp: Yes, and this assumes the herd never expands, which it is doing constantly in this country.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:23 PM FlagNo, it is an opinion based on the fact that when diseases have been virtually eradicated from a continent, that one does not need to run out as SOON as the child comes into the world and have them immunized to it. If everyone in our country delayed vaccination until 5 we would see no change from what we see now in polio.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 04:33 PM Flagagree. No one really has to comply to vaccination schedule until kindergarten. If the gov was really worried about a pandemic spread by 5 yr olds, they would have the schedule required at an earlier age. It is really recommended by most drs to have immunizations mostly complete by 2. But somehow the gov lets us wait until kindergarten? I see no harm in waiting a few years if it gives a parent extra feelings of comfort by waiting, and it doesn't affect public health.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 04:38 PM FlagThis is completely false. You have to vaccinate on schedule if your DC is in daycare, preschool, camp, etc. The government z
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:50 PM Flag^^^the government doesn't think children are safe from disease before age 5
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:52 PM FlagNo one said children are "safe from disease" before 5. All that was said is that it really isn't required until the 5th year when a child goes to public school. I respect anyone's decision to immunize their kids when they want up to that point. A lot of kids don't go to daycare.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 09:19 PM Flag
Something being transmitted by fecal matter does not require rolling in a pile of poo. It involves merely touching a subway rail.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:01 PM FlagWhich a 2MO is quite unlikely to do. Just like Hep B- my infant who is home w/ me isn't going to pick it up from anyone, because he's not having sex with anyone, sharing needles, or even in contact w/ anyone's bodily fluids except DH & mine and we've never had Hep B. I'm not suggesting delaying or veering from the normal schedule - but you guys are going a little nuts on this topic. The kid's actually more likely to have a reaction to the shot than they are to come in contact with Poliovirus at all in the US - let alone before 5 (especially if they're not in school or daycare).
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:27 PM Flag
Yet another example of why we need better science education in the US ... it's scary.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:03 PM FlagWhy should people wait to vaccinate? There's no good evidence that says vaccinating early does harm, so why wait? Makes no sense when we're talking about the possible resurgence of something as truly terrible as polio.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:22 PM FlagNeuroscience mom here: People will choose to delay vaccination because they perceive risk associated with the adjuvants and preservatives used in vaccinations, (namely Mercury and Aluminum) which are known neurotoxins. The idea is that these toxins are most damaging early on in life, when brain development is most rapid. A neurotoxin introduced to a very young infant would be considerably more damaging than one introduced to at a later age.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:02 PM FlagThis is why we chose to delay. We believe in vaccinating but we did it on a later schedule. We also researched and found that many vaccines can be done without Mercury for a bit more $.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:06 PM Flag^^by delaying vaccination until a later age, say 5 or 6, they perceive they are able to participate in the benefits of vaccination, with less risk neurologically. Now, the amount of neurotoxin in the form of Mercury is very, very small that is added in the form of Thimerosal, arguably too small to make a big difference, and Thimerosal is being phased out because parents are afraid (IMO, rightfully so). The adjuvants are still present though, and this gives some parents pause.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:07 PM Flag^^my DH and I decided to vaccinate against disease which posed the most life threatening/altering risk first, and we did do some on schedule. But, there were many we chose to delay, or made specific requests for brands that were Thimerosal-free. DS is now caught up at 7. We chose not to vaccinate for yearly influenza, because these tend to still carry thimerosal, and the risk of influenza death for my 7 year old is not high enough to justify the potential downsides to mercury exposure.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:18 PM FlagMD here, and having rotated through a pediatric ICU seeing several otherwise healthy children on ventilators, I would tend to disagree.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:03 PM FlagDidn't say there was no risk, MD, but just that the risk was one we were willing to take. As you know, being an MD and all, there is really no assurance that the flu you are immunized for will be the flu you are exposed to. The vaccination is an "educated guess" and has no guarantee of matching the seasonal strain. Run of the mill Influenza B vaccinations we pass over. If there was an Influenza A threat for the year we would get vaccinated.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:18 PM FlagThis is a medical discussion and my credentials are relevant. Defensive much? Regarding the vaccination, I can only tell you what I have seen in children, and that a colleague - otherwise perfectly healthy - came down with flu and died days later. This is not an acceptable risk to me or my own family. But do what you want. Natural selection and all.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:30 PM Flag
NP- There may be no correlation to Autism, but what about to just overall cognitive function? There is no research on this people, believe me, I have sought it out. Could we be keeping our kids disease free, but dumbing them down or impairing them in the process? Look at the incidence of learning disorders, ADHD and the like. It does make me wonder.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:30 PM FlagJust because there's a name for them now, doesn't mean they didn't exist in such numbers in the past. I'd argue that the parents are more neurotic now.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:04 PM FlagHow about crazy allergies? The incidence of life threatening food allergies follows the immunization compliance population curve.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:37 PM Flag-
The introduction of food correlates with the population percentage vaccinated? This is obviously another thread entirely, but we as a society have been more cautious in the last 10 yrs on food introduction than ever before, and yet severe food allergies are on the uptick.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 09:25 PM Flag
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^^ know. A lot has changed over the years. In the natural birth circles I lurk in, some people have tried to link routine use of Pitocin to neurological disorders. Do we really want to go down this road? We make the best choices we can based on the available evidence and must stop the crazy conjecturing.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:07 PM Flag
The news (of our cluelessness) is starting to get around. I live in France and my doctor always double checks DC's vaccinations before we go back to the US because she thinks it's a measles free for all there. If you heard her talking about it, you'd think the US was a developing nation.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:36 PM FlagThe Europeans with their superiority complex regarding their healthcare system are an entirely different story...
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 02:16 PM FlagI'm not sure it's a superiority complex, I think it's just ... superiority (in this instance at least). I have never met anyone here in France who doesn't vaccinate. Not vaccinating isn't viewed as "independent thinking" here as I guess it sometimes is in the US. It's viewed as ignorant.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 02:24 PM Flag
I don't believe in any of these vaccinations.....polio especially...you're all stupid brainwashed assholes.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 05:43 PM FlagI work in the ED, and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. So selfish to have a family bring in a child who has a temp of 103 and is unvaccinated. Yeah, I'm sorry about your kid, and we'll do whatever we can. But deep down inside: what the HELL? Exposing my fetus to whatever the hell you brought in. Selfish and obnoxious.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:34 PM FlagYour fetus is protected by your immunity. If you have been vaccinated, you and your baby are FINE.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 08:50 PM FlagOnce again, a lack of science education shines through. Vaccinations are not perfect; not everyone develops or maintains immunity. That is why high rates of vaccination are required to protect an entire population (herd immunity) - to basically cover off the failure rate. Now I'm sure this particular person's baby will be okay, but you demonstrated you don't get how vaccines really work. They do protect individuals, but they also have to operate at the group level for maximum effectiveness.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 07:20 AM Flag
[+] EWWW. Pictures of Alicia Silverstone chewing her DS's food and spitting it into his ... 6 replies
- did this for my db. Did some reading on allergies and there is evidence showing that the micro-organisms in parent's saliva might have some protective qualities....
Talk : : March 27, 2012
EWWW. Pictures of Alicia Silverstone chewing her DS's food and spitting it into his mouth.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 03:55 PM Flag ]I did this for my db. Did some reading on allergies and there is evidence showing that the micro-organisms in parent's saliva might have some protective qualities.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 03:57 PM Flag-
If a mother has never had cavities, the bacteria is protective against cavities for the child. If they have had cavities, giving the child your bacteria is a really bad idea and can cause cavities in them. Also, why don't they just share a freaking toothbrush?
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 06:00 AM Flag
[+] Ok...I just read this on TMZ.....and am disgusted and I honestly have never heard of ... 21 replies
- Silverstone feeds her 10-month-old son -- chewing up food in her mouth...about? Birds and some other animals regurgitate their food to feed their young but they are specifically...very ancient means of providing soft, safe solid food to babies. Unusual in the US in 2012,...and the mom didn't have any baby food so she chewed up some meat, spit it...
- My friend has older dcs with allergies so she is always reading up on this...
Talk : : March 27, 2012
Ok...I just read this on TMZ.....and am disgusted and I honestly have never heard of anything so bizarre!!!
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 12:30 PM Flag ]This is how Alicia Silverstone feeds her 10-month-old son -- chewing up food in her mouth ... then spitting it directly into his ... like a bird. Alicia posted the video on her blog this weekend, claiming it's her "favorite" way to feed her son Bear Blu (that's his name). Alicia adds, "He literally crawls across the room to attack my mouth if I’m eating." It's unclear why she does this -- there's probably some hippie-dippie explanation about the bacteria in her mouth helping to strengthen her kid's immune system ... or something -- but she never explains why herself. For the record -- Alicia's a staunch vegan ... and she's raising her son vegan too. Mother knows best?
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 12:30 PM Flag-
Is there some movement to do this going on that I haven't heard about? Birds and some other animals regurgitate their food to feed their young but they are specifically designed for it. I've never heard of any people from any culture doing this. Sorry, just realized that's even grosser. BTW, I so think that being vegan is fine if you're an adult and feel that a vegan diet is for you but it's not fair to raise a child, who needs a lot of nutrition to grow, that way.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 12:48 PM FlagNot at all uncommon in tribal cultures. It's a very ancient means of providing soft, safe solid food to babies. Unusual in the US in 2012, but not original.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 12:50 PM FlagI witnessed a mother do this once. It was revolting. The grandparents immigrated from a third world country and I found myself wondering if it was normal where they were from. We were at a party and the mom didn't have any baby food so she chewed up some meat, spit it into her hand and gave it to the baby. I'm cringing as I write this.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 01:09 PM Flag
[+] My df (who lives in the suburbs) called me this morning to tell me her 18 month old f... 39 replies
- Hilarious! (PS My kid has a food allergy and we were told by a few different MDs that if she eats a food she is allergic to, you give her her shot, then call for an ambulance b/c they don't want a parent behind the...
Talk : : March 27, 2012
My df (who lives in the suburbs) called me this morning to tell me her 18 month old fell and needed stitches. She called an ambulance. Normal?
39 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 05:44 AM Flag ]-
Normal if she freaked out. My DS caught his finger in the door at 10 months. Nanny FREAKED and ran him to the hospital. There was a lot of blood - I get it.. He was fine - I would have taken him to the dr, or urgent care - but I wasn't there when it happened. Felt a bit foolish in the ER w/ a finger cut- but it did look like a crime scene when we left a room - He kept ripping the bandage off and bleeding everywhere.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 05:51 AM FlagIs she an excellent driver? It is hard to drive when you are nervous. In the city, I would take a cab with my child. This is easier.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 05:59 AM FlagWhere was the stich? If it was a head injury I would say no overreaction. If not then just drive to the hospital, no need for an ambulance unless significant bleeding.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 06:03 AM Flagif there is head trauma the recommendation is to call an ambulance.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 06:32 AM Flag-
np - I think it is if she had to drive to the hospital herself and could not hold him like if you were in the NYC and took a taxi - it does change things a little - if you kid is bleeding all over the place, you might not want to try to strap him in to his car seat and take him to the emergency room
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 06:52 AM FlagYes! My 17 mo does NOT like to be in her car seat as is. I can't imagine shovin her in here and then getting into the front seat to drive. I live in the city, so I'd taxi but that wouldn't be a realistic option in many burbs. If its #1, she was probably terrified. Anything requiring stitches is very bloody. She probably had no idea how bad it was and erred on the side of caution. At what # of stitches would the injury be sufficient to merit calling an ambulance w out judgment anyway?
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 07:24 AM Flag
I spent 14 years as a nanny and am now a mom of three boys. It takes a lot to have me calling an ambulance. But you don't know how bad the injury may have looked. Depending where it was, how bloody it was, etc. In retrospect it sounds like overkill, but I can understand why someone might freak out and call 911.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 07:11 AM FlagI think the best thing to do if you're panicking about your baby's injury is to get right behind the wheel of a car and drive somewhere extremely quickly. It's the safest alternative for everybody involved.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 07:44 AM FlagHilarious! (PS My kid has a food allergy and we were told by a few different MDs that if she eats a food she is allergic to, you give her her shot, then call for an ambulance b/c they don't want a parent behind the wheel as a child is having an allergic reaction. I don't see that it is nuts that this mother was concerned and called 911.)
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 07:47 AM Flag
Of course it is normal if it is just you and the toddler. What are you going to do - strap a bleeding toddler to a carseat? Are you crazy? what if the toddler loses consciousness? the mom would be so worried and looking behind her all the time it would be dangerous. I don't want to be on the road with a mom driving and keeping an eye on an bleeding toddler. Who thinks this is a good idea?
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 08:23 AM Flag
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[+] Would you be offended if new guy you were dating asked you to not wear perfume? Becau... 25 replies
- his side here! My DH has a very bad nut & coconut allergy, so I can't use any lotion or product with nut or...beauty products for this reason). I would view it as an allergy (as opposed to being picky or a personality trait). Would you stop dating someone who had certain food allergies? I wouldn't find it a big deal. I love nuts -...
- be careful, you might wake up the nut allergy deniers....
Talk : : March 26, 2012
Would you be offended if new guy you were dating asked you to not wear perfume? Because he has sensitive sense of smell and scents irritate him.
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.26.12, 08:55 PM Flag ]-
Perfumes give me migraines, the chemicals in some perfumes can trigger migraines. As a result, I am repulsed by the scent of perfume & have to stay away. But I am not a sensitive or picky person in general. So I'd take his side here! My DH has a very bad nut & coconut allergy, so I can't use any lotion or product with nut or coconut oil on my skin & I gladly make the accommodation for him (definitely have had to pass on some beauty products for this reason). I would view it as an allergy (as opposed to being picky or a personality trait). Would you stop dating someone who had certain food allergies? I wouldn't find it a big deal. I love nuts - but I can't have them bc of DH. So be it.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 09:54 PM FlagNo. There's absolutely NO reason to be "offended," although if you realize that you care more about wearing perfume or other scents than spending time with the new guy, then it's a good sign that the relationship isn't worth pursuing. But overall, him having a sensitivity to scents has nothing to do with you, and isn't a personal attack. It probably means he gets headaches or something -- fairly common, and not a character flaw or anything to do with you.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 10:42 PM Flag-
- [ Removed by moderator ] [ More ]03.26.12, 11:58 PM
It depends on how he asked. I totally get the headache thing, I can't stand walking through the front of department stores. Just a minute in there gives me a headache with all the crazy smells. BUT I also dated a guy who had such a preference. The way he asked was just one more of MANY warning signals I had that he was peculiar and difficult. So to me it all depends.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 11:46 PM FlagNo, I personally can't stand much perfume. Scented lotion is fine but perfume makes me gag. If my guy wore cologne I would have to say something. I think he wants to see you but some men really hate perfume, and it is not about anything more than that (I think it is something in perfume that bothers some, it almost always smells too strong to me). If you like him, lay off the perfume. Plus, are you sure you are not laying it on too heavily?
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 04:30 AM FlagPerfume is such a big business but it kind of stinks. I rarely like it and when women wear to much of it, which is anything more than a tiny pulse point dab, blech.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 04:38 AM FlagI would be thankful he taught me a valuable lesson: its rediculous to cover up your natural pheromones that act as a natural male sexual magnet with perfume. Perfume repulses many people (myself included) and I don't understand why anyone would wear it! I hate working with women that wear perfume. Men too actually. Maybe a teeny bit, but most people do not have that restraint.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 04:40 AM Flag
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[+] Zerona: yay or nay? 7 replies
- is this a name, a food, a medication? Be more specific...
- I'm guessing allergy medication....
Talk : : March 23, 2012
[+] Advice needed: My son is highly allergic to peanuts & tree nuts, we carry and epi-pen... 42 replies
- a case of the older generation thinking that food allergies are made-up because people didn't have...
- Bring your own food for Dc to avoid cross contamination. Dont you...have DH do this). Then order passover food from FreshDirect or make it yourself(PITA but...to do it, you must request that all food be completely nut free, including deserts. And that...
- NOT FAKE. I should have said packaged food made in a nut free facility. When I...
Talk : : March 20, 2012
Advice needed: My son is highly allergic to peanuts & tree nuts, we carry and epi-pen everywhere, we discovered his allergy after he took a small bite of a cookie with nuts in it and ended up in the ER - very scary for all of us. Over Thanksgiving my MIL brought desserts with nuts on them which upset me quite a bit, we have a strained relationship to being with and do not speak on a regular basis (or really at all), we are spending the first night of Passover together and I would like to request that she bring nut-free desserts - looking advice on how to phrase in (via email) a nice way
42 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.20.12, 07:34 PM Flag ]If it were me I'd have her bring wine or flowers, she is not to be trusted with the cooking. Either she doesn't believe the allergy is serious or she is too flaky to care...either way bad news.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 07:37 PM Flag-
I would suggest your dh do this if possible. I think you posted about this a couple of months ago? From what I read on that thread, I think this may be a case of the older generation thinking that food allergies are made-up because people didn't have them during the '50's (over-simplifying but that's the underlying attitude) and your dh can probably get away with being a little firmer with her without coming off as having an attitude. (Not saying you're wrong in any way, just that this may go over better if it comes from her son than from you.)
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 07:38 PM Flag-
Does she not believe that your son's trip to ER was due to his food allergy - or does she feel taking him to the ER was unnecessary and you over-reacted? She sounds like a real b*tch. I would advise her that you are supplying dessert and she should not bring anything.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 07:49 PM FlagGood memory... I posted after Thanksgiving about the incident. We are going back to my husband's aunt & uncle's (my MIL's brothers house) for Passover. My son is old enough to know NOT to eat anything without checking with me first but I think it is ridiculous that she would actually bring nut - he won't even eat anything unless we know it was made it a nut-free facility (he is that allergic) so it isnt about him being able to eat that dessert but what she doesn't understand or is unwilling to believe is that cross-contamination is the biggest issue with nut allergies. She bring something with nut on top and they fall into the plate next to it or on the table etc, etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 07:52 PM Flagnp-since dh is old enough I would tell him that Grandma doesn't understand the science of food allergies(or have DH do this). Then order passover food from FreshDirect or make it yourself(PITA but you brought up the concern of cross-contamination) and take it with you for him. Have DC explain to ILs.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 08:01 PM Flag
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If the nut dust doesn't kill, he'll certainly die a painful death when his bubble bursts.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 08:04 PM FlagMy dd has food allergies (egg and dairy on top of nut/peanut) and we've had this issues with both sets of grandparents. My general position is: my house, my rules. If you bring nuts in, it will get stored away and sent away with you when you leave. If I'm visiting someone else's home, I respect that I can't control the situation. I bring food for my daughter, and let them serve what they want. So deep breaths - remind people and ask them to be careful - then stay the hell away from the Charoset.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 08:29 PM FlagThis has to be fake. OP claims Dc can only eat food from nut free facilities but she is willing to let him eat food prepared in other homes. Even if MIL keeps nuts out this time you know her home isn't nut free so Dc couldn't eat them anyway. Ditto for the host and any other guests who bring something to eat.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 08:38 PM FlagNOT FAKE. I should have said packaged food made in a nut free facility. When I can talk to a human who is able to make sure they can avoid cross contamination of nuts there isn't a problem. We eat out at restaurant that have nuts in a separate part of the kitchen, we eat at places that will clean the grill before making his food, we eat at ice cream places that put on new gloves and get sprinkles from a non-contaminate container in the back. You would be surprise how common it is for people to make these requests. A new yogurt place opened by use called 16 Handles and they have machines dedicated to nut flavors and all of them have the allergens listed on a label on the machine to make it safe and easy for people with allergies to eat their yogurt.
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 07:27 PM Flag
If others are joining I'd send the e-mail to all, especially since many Passover dishes include nuts. I'd state that as they know X is HIGHLY allergic to al nuts and that while you hate to do it, you must request that all food be completely nut free, including deserts. And that you look forward to celebrating with them & thank them for their understanding in what is always a difficult situation.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 09:23 PM FlagWouldn't the charoset be an issue at Passover, anyhow? So there will be something your dc has to be careful to avoid even if your MIL doesn't bring a nut-laden dessert.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 04:26 AM Flag-
host making charoset without nuts... not serving nuts, is wonderful about making sure everything she makes is safe for my child, seems everyone accept the GRANDMOTHER is willing to make the horrible sacrifice of living without nuts for one night...
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 07:21 PM FlagBut you say he can only eat food from a nut free facility. How can you allow him to eat anything prepared in someone's home? It's too dangerous. You need to bring your own food.for him.
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 07:28 PM FlagI clarified above about the nut-free facility... I meant anywhere we can't speak to a human about their cross contamination policies... there is nothing safe about my son eating food that is next to food with nuts but with the proper precautions he can eat almost anywhere - there is no need to bring a dessert with nuts in it to a family dinner if you know someone is allergic. I wouldn;t someone I never met was joining for a holiday, and don;t think it is wrong to expect that from my son's grandmother. Why add stress when you don't need to.
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 07:58 AM Flag
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If I were in your situation I wouldn't care about being nice; f**k her if she doesn't have the common sense not to bring nuts near her own grandson...I would tell her straight up that anything containing nuts that's brought into our house goes straight into the bin.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:28 AM Flag
[+] Friend diagnosed with cancer. What can I do for her? Has two young children. So sad. ... 24 replies
- ^^www.carecalendar.org - your friend can specify likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. I'm not sure where you/your friend lives or if people there...for the rest of the family, so being able to vent is a gift. Food and pampering products are always welcome...
- This tends to be my answer for everything, but food, food, food. Cooking is probably the last thing on her mind right now....
Talk : : March 17, 2012
Friend diagnosed with cancer. What can I do for her? Has two young children. So sad.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.17.12, 07:47 PM Flag ]-
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I've thought about this. I have three of my own. An infant and a ds with SN. Not really an easy option. I'd have to hire a nanny to watch mine, so I thought maybe hire a sitter for her, but they are very wealthy and a monetary gift is not appropriate. Trying to think of something. I did visit in the hospital and bring books/flowers/etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 07:54 PM Flagcook for the fam and deliver meals that they can freeze and defrost. Maybe try taking one kid at a time for something special..they are going to be scared too. offer to drop off or even pick up from school or activities..I know when I had db that was so nice that I didn't have to worry about drop offs or pick ups.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 07:57 PM Flag-
michio kushi's 'macrobiotics for cancer' is a little bit of overkill and has been improved upon, but SUGAR is bad news for cancer. likewise white carbs. fresh squeezed green juices (kale, spinach, garlic, ginger) are hopefully available...
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 08:37 PM FlagMy oldest friend is just finishing up cancer treatment. I live about 1200 miles away from her so I couldn't do as much as I would have liked. I set up an online service where her local friends could sign up to bring her meals on chemo days. I can't remember the name of the web site right now, but will post back when I do. Then I went to see her once in the middle of treatment, took her to chemo and sat and talked to her and had lunch with her while she was having it. Just ask what she needs, I guess. It's a long process so space out your help over time. Hope she's okay.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 09:12 PM Flag^^www.carecalendar.org - your friend can specify likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. I'm not sure where you/your friend lives or if people there do would do that. I'm in the 'burbs in California and we bring each other meals in situations like this.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 09:23 PM Flag
BTEDCall and let her talk, whine, complain and cry. Women usually feel like they have to act brave for the rest of the family, so being able to vent is a gift. Food and pampering products are always welcome
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 07:55 AM Flagsorry for the typos... BTDT! also... there is a program called Look Good Feel Better that is a free service for cancer patients where they do make-overs and provide free make-up (donated by major companies). This can also include wigs or head scarves if needed. Just help her find out what is available. The cancer center usually provids free cases of Boost or other high protein drinks for use at home. There is tons of help out there
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 07:59 AM Flag
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[+] The easiest way for a restaurant to win me over is to be nice to my kid. In a city wh... 76 replies
- NP Us too. We have a kid with food allergies so we totally tip extremely well for that, too....
Talk : : March 17, 2012
The easiest way for a restaurant to win me over is to be nice to my kid. In a city where people push my 5 yo to get on a train and treat him like he isn't there it's nice to go somewhere where they they like kids. I have been to pediatricians who act like they don't like kids so today's dinner was a breath of fresh air. The owner greeted all of us, talked directly to my son, took time to listen to him, laughed at his jokes and brought him out a special desert on the house. The owner just earned some regulars. Bravo sir. I don't expect my kid to be treated like a king but the simple act of acknowledging him meant a lot.
76 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.17.12, 06:04 PM Flag ]-
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I have a 10 yo, a 6 yo and a 1 yo. And they're all treated very well in NYC. Including in restaurants.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:10 PM FlagOP- Maybe it's just us. We take the train everyday and I amazed how often we both get pushed. Once my son almost got pushed down by a grown man trying to get on the train as we got off. Restaurants were they have been extremely rude, sales staff who have yelled at him, the list goes on. Makes NYC hard to live in sometimes.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:14 PM FlagI have only experienced the train thing. Who is your pediatrician? Yikes.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:16 PM FlagBad behavior in restaurants and stores tends to make waiters and sales staff cranky. Curious what happened when your kid was yelled at.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:17 PM FlagSeriously, I am sure OPs kid is just another entitled brat.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:22 PM FlagNot op. Your parents raised a nasty piece of work. They must really suck.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:32 PM Flag-
OP- That wasn't me. I have no problem saying which posts are from me. I am actually surprised most of you guys are treated so well in NYC when you go out. Even on the train. My kid says please, thank you, excuse me and is on the shy side but maybe I am just going to the wrong places.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:43 PM Flag
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OP- I know and I usually just brush it off because I used to work in a restaurant. But it's really nice when you go somewhere and they make everyone including your kid feel welcome. Went to a party and the kids had to get equipment from the sales desk to participate. My son was walking ahead of me and thought he had to walk to the lady to get the equipment instead of stopping at the counter. The lady went off and screamed so loud it scared him. She later apologized which I accepted because I am sure she was tired. It just gets exhausting to live in a city where everyone has to be so tough all the time.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:30 PM Flag
Sounds like you DO expect your kid to be treated like a king.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:11 PM Flag-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMFHMBi8BcA
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 10:13 PM Flag
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Nobody has ever pushed my child to get on a train. What trains do you ride?
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:12 PM Flagit happens - they are short and sometimes adults don't see them, they aren't looking down.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:13 PM FlagIf they don't see them they aren't pushing them, they're tripping over them.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:16 PM FlagOP- School days we take the E and the 6. On weekends we take a bunch of trains. That's odd that we are the only ones that get pushed all the time. Happens a lot when we got off the train and people are trying to get on.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:16 PM Flagno, happens to me too, and to my baby in the baby carrier. my BABY-come on people!
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:20 PM Flag-
I would like to see how you would react if someone shoved you while you were holding a 6 month old.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:28 PM FlagOP- What's going on with these people? Someone is upset with you because you are upset that a person is pushing you while you are holding a 6 month old? Crazy. I have actually seen moms with little babies get pushed. One time I saw a mom get pushed and the person turned to her and started cussing her out. The mom just keep walking but it was so uncalled for and wrong.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:34 PM Flag
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You are the reason people hate children in this city. Bravo mam.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:15 PM Flag-
Restaurants never treat me like this. I think I'm being discriminated against.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:19 PM Flag-
It is not a weird thing to notice, you are talking about dcs.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:40 PM Flagnp: I can understand giving a restaurant points for having a generally kid-friendly atmosphere but frankly I do think it's self-absorbed to think that total strangers should enjoy talking to your kid. Nothing against the OP's kid in particular but wanting this kind of validation seems needy.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:52 PM Flag
So, they can send out swill, on dirty crockery and over charge for it, but if they fake laugh at some knock knock jokes you'll return? Lol!!!
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:34 PM Flag-
I agree w/ the others - nobody has ever been unkind to my children. Sure they get knocked around a bit on the train - but not intentionally - that's just life in the big city -happened to us growing up too. Most people apologize if they accidentally trip over a kid - and you need to teach your kids to watch where they're going and how to navigate a train. We always hold hands on and off - just like crossing the street.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:43 PM Flag-
if someone is just getting off a 10 hour work shift, or they're late for work with a scary boss, they are not going to be swiveling their heads around to check to see that the shapeless bump under your scarf isn't a baby. its underground public transit, not the royal ballet.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 10:19 PM Flag
I get you. I recently went to south American. Boy they like kids!! I saw tons of kids in restaurants, if the they bump the waiter, she will look down and said " you are so cute, watch yourself not to get hurt". No judging look anywhere, vey relaxing. At airports no lines for woman with kids bellow 5. Including immigration Aduana etc. people really go an extra mile to accommodate kids. The
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 04:36 AM Flag-
I experienced this in South America also. No waiting in line at the airport for women with young children. I was pleased with the thoughtfulness, but took it as an entitlement expectation that is a hold over from the elite class expectations. People with a little money in SA get treated well, the rest of the people do not. Not like here where you get pushed on the subway no matter who you are.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 09:51 AM Flag
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You expect the waitstaff to laugh at your kid's jokes and bring him special desserts? That means you do expect him to be treated like a king. Why in the world should an adult have to kowtow to a 5 YO? Sounds degrading to me, and like a terrible lesson for DC.
[ Reply | More ]03.18.12, 07:04 AM Flag
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[+] We have close friends and family members that are vegetarian. Whenever they come over... 31 replies
- 't that like asking someone with a nut allergy why they don't serve you PB&J when...You can eat vegetarian food. They cannot eat food with meat, and preparing it would probably be...you expect a kosher family to make non-kosher food in their kitchen for you?...
- for you, but you actually prefer straight-up vegetarian food, so please don't feel they have to...world would anyone expect the host to prepare food that they cannot eat?!! Everyone, on the other...
Talk : : March 17, 2012
We have close friends and family members that are vegetarian. Whenever they come over for dinner, I always have a vegetarian meal, and even though they eat diary, I try to keep the use of eggs, butter and cheese to a minimum. The food is always good and well received by all. When the "tables" (pun intended) are reversed, we are never served a meal with meat, chicken or fish in their homes. In fact, there are always meat substitutes provided, which frankly are not terribly good (too salty and rubbery tasting). I'm just curious as to why, if I'm honoring your food preferences in my home, what are the objections to honoring mine when dining in your home?
31 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.17.12, 11:13 AM Flag ]The difference is that you all can enjoy the vegetarian meals you cook but your friends would not be able to eat the meat dishes. Would you cook foods for a dinner that you were unable to eat? Also, as a vegetarian I don't have any experience cooking meat & since I can't try to it to see if it's any good, I wouldn't be comfortable serving it.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:18 AM Flagare you dense? They don't prepare and serve meat because they donlt want raw dead animal in their kitchen and on their cutting boards and pans. Think a little before you post.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:20 AM FlagYou're pleasant. There's this stuff called anti-bacterial soap and water that I've found generally very useful in cleaning up from the "raw dead animal" I cook in my kitchen.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:24 AM FlagNp-- do you realize that many vegetarians eat that way not because of meat germs that can be fixed w antibacterial soap, but for religious reasons? Or moral/ethical reasons? I don't think a Clorox wipe would help solve a religious quandary.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:27 AM FlagObviously. I'm not talking about people who don't eat meat for religious/moral reasons. Frankly, I'm not sure what reasons a lot of vegetarians have for not eating meat, when they have no problem eating dairy, wearing leather, etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:30 AM FlagWhy do you care? Everyone makes decisions of degrees: how much to recycle, how much $ to save, etc. Few things in life are all or nothing. They're doing something they believe in, to a degree that works for them. They might be doing it because they are against factory food farming in the US, or unfair labor practices in processing plants. Or, environmental reasons. Or, dietary health reasons. Thats a totally sep issue from leather goods, etc. And so what? Are you THAT desperate for meat at every meal, that you can't go and be a gracious guest?
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:59 AM Flag
I was going to respond with a snarky answer but I will refrain. Many vegetarians oppose eating meat so they are not going to cook or serve it under any circumstance. I don't really think people should be forced to cook things for guests they wouldn't eat themselves. So don't think you should provide meat subs (esp. since they are processed and gross) you could focus on other proteins besides meat that you would actually eat.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:22 AM Flagwhy don't you just tell them that you don't like meat substitutes? Better than just suffering in silence. If you hated peppers and your hosts served up peppers every time, you'd say something, right?
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 11:26 AM FlagI would say that it's sweet they added the meat substitutes for you, but you actually prefer straight-up vegetarian food, so please don't feel they have to add special stuff for you. If they are vegetarians, they should be able to make their guests a really delicious meal without meat substitutes.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 02:19 PM FlagI'm sorry your veg friends and family aren't good cooks. I doubt any of them would mind eating sides, especially if you have a few filling options. My dh and I are veg and once went to a dinner party hosted by people he's known for years, where even the sides were cooked with meat. I won't be schlepping to their place again.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 06:32 PM FlagI hope this isn't a real question. Why in the world would anyone expect the host to prepare food that they cannot eat?!! Everyone, on the other hand, can eat and enjoy vegetarian food. And while it's unfortunate that they're not good cooks (or are serving stuff you don't like), but I'm sure they're not intentionally trying to serve you food that tastes bad. Either suck it up or go out to eat.
[ Reply | More ]03.17.12, 09:54 PM Flag
[+] My stomach always hurts and feels like it's bloated. Diaststis? 20 replies
- My bff has gluten allergy known as celiac disease. and she felt the same way you do before she found...
- there is great Gluten free pasta, Fairway and Whole food both have them. Also many restaurants offer GF pizza and pasta...it is good news to be healthy. 20 years later there is a ton of GF food in stores and restaurants. GL, get healthy!...
Talk : : March 14, 2012
My stomach always hurts and feels like it's bloated. Diaststis?
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.14.12, 07:36 PM Flag ]-
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I had this for years and was finally diagnosed with Celiac. When I was gf for 1 week, I felt amazing... No more headaches, could eat without pain... it is good news to be healthy. 20 years later there is a ton of GF food in stores and restaurants. GL, get healthy!
[ Reply | More ]03.15.12, 06:03 AM Flag
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