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[+] Spin-off post: Do you think the biggest factor in autism is environmental pollution? ... 70 replies
- some of it (30pounds) did vanish on its own right after the birth of DB in a few weeks. some more (15-20 pounds) did go with more normal (no diet) eating and breastfeeding. after DB turned 1 and refused breastfeeding I started a rigirous exercise and 1200-1400cal diet. in about 5-6 months I was around 150pound. shedding off rest of it was more diffciult and took almost a year. but key was exercise and diet. for exercise I did lots of running and...
Talk : : April 09, 2012
Spin-off post: Do you think the biggest factor in autism is environmental pollution? This includes the antibiotic filled, GMO food we eat, polluted air we breathe, materials-polluted water we drink, mercury filled shots given to babies, plastics we use everydy, and everything else you can think of. I believe this is the main factor since I have read an article explaining this theory but can't find the article to post here. In the article, it was explaining that during the development of fetus, environmental factors might (or may not) affect the division of cells in an abnormal way which could be the factor in autism. Assuming this is true, we do this to ourselves, all of us. Mothers of autistic kids shouldn't feel more or less guilty than any of us. By not doing enough about preventing/decreasing pollution, we should all share our part of guilt in this.
70 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.09.12, 12:53 PM Flag ]-
Basically, couples that delay their childbearing past their early thirties are taking a risk, which they refuse to aknowledge and instead blame anything but themselves for the problems. As was stated in another thread, the most convincing data points largely to past-the-expiration-date sperm and eggs and, with new study data also indicating that maternal obesity increases risk: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/10/us-obesity-autism-idUSBRE83900B20120410 So, fat granny moms, ditch grandpa, join a health club and find yourselves a young stud!
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 06:45 PM Flag
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if this would be the only factor then it would be easy to detect as no other parents younger than 40 for mom and 50 for dad wouldn't have this problem. but they do.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:58 PM FlagMy cousin has 3 kids, 2 with autism. Both parents were in early 30s at conception. So my money is on environment not age.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:00 PM Flagdude. early 30's IS old. it used to be all early to mid twenties. probably, having the first so late is different from having the 3rd and 4th so late due to the constant exposure to estrogen, etc.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:04 PM Flagnot sure about environment but I know too many autistic kids born to young parents so can't convince me it's age.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:04 PM FlagThis, this, this. Age may be a factor in some cases. All the moms of autistic kids I know had them in their twenties.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:10 PM FlagThere is no increase in autism in the young mother population.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:12 PM FlagIt's tempting to think that the trend for women to delay childbirth is behind the continuing rise of autism. But that's not the case. This trend accounts for less than 5% of the autism increase in California over the decade 1990-1999, calculate study researchers Janie F. Shelton, Daniel J. Tancredi, PhD, and Irva Hertz-Picciotto, PhD.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:17 PM Flag-
WRONG- this has been looked for and disproven time and time again.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:12 PM Flaghttp://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100208102411.htm
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:13 PM Flaghttp://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:14 PM FlagFrom YOUR OWN ARTICLE: It's tempting to think that the trend for women to delay childbirth is behind the continuing rise of autism. But that's not the case. This trend accounts for less than 5% of the autism increase in California over the decade 1990-1999, calculate study researchers Janie F. Shelton, Daniel J. Tancredi, PhD, and Irva Hertz-Picciotto, PhD.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:16 PM Flagnp: oh, ok. i think that's bullshit because it's a popular (older) parent website, not a scientific publication, so they don't want to piss off customers/reader. but let's say it isn't. let's say it's because as we get older, we have more exposure to environmental pollutants (the alternative explanation given). what are you gonna do? live in a bubble? that comment is bullshit. older eggs and sperms cause problems.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:25 PM Flag
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/178556.php
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:15 PM Flag
I think (no evidence, just hunch) that it is genetic caused by environment that is speeding up gene mutation. And happens more (but not exclusively) to older parents because the longer you live, the more chance you have of exposure to or of accumulating toxins.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:58 PM Flagexactly, that's what I'm thinking about being exposed to more toxins as you get older since they accumulate in your body. same thing can be linked to obesity as chances of accumulating toxins increase with gaining more fat tissue. I wish they would mention about obese moms' diets. do they eat organic food with less pollutants? or just obesity itself regardsless wht you put in your body is a factor?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:01 PM FlagIn general you will not find a lot of obese organic eaters.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:04 PM FlagOP-I became obese during my pregnancy. I was eating mostly organic or healthy food like non-gmo, no antibiotics etc. I have a huge capacity to eat tons of carbs which can make you easily obese overtime as was my case. I started with 135pounds and ended up with 235+
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:10 PM FlagNot to hijack this, but how did you lose it? Was a lot water? Just curious.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:21 PM Flagsome of it (30pounds) did vanish on its own right after the birth of DB in a few weeks. some more (15-20 pounds) did go with more normal (no diet) eating and breastfeeding. after DB turned 1 and refused breastfeeding I started a rigirous exercise and 1200-1400cal diet. in about 5-6 months I was around 150pound. shedding off rest of it was more diffciult and took almost a year. but key was exercise and diet. for exercise I did lots of running and some weights.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:26 PM Flag
If anyone knows the answer to this, it will definitely be a random person on an internet message board.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 12:59 PM FlagSome studies point toward vitamin D deficiency as a possible reason: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=vitamin-d-and-autism
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:32 PM Flag-
Rise in autism does correspond to decrease in exposure to sun in pregnant women and in babies.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:50 PM FlagDo you know if taking vitamin D in pill form helps? Does the source of vitD has to be natural sunlight?
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 01:52 PM FlagPill form of vitamin D seems to be fine according to this article: http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=128035439115067600
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 02:09 PM Flag
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Is nobody here familiar with statistics? The arguments on this post are kind of astounding. It's now well established that autism risk grows with paternal age. That doesn't mean that young parents cannot have an autistic child. It means as paternal age goes up THE RISK of having an autistic child goes up. But the vast majority of the increase in cases can be accounted for by diagnostic creep. This is especially clear because the number of severely autistic children has not increased, except for in certain populations like migrant workers (in which environment probably plays a role). The increase in cases tends to be for mild cases, such as asperger's, which come with special services--and they tend to occur in high-income families that live near other families with children who have a diagnosis. The diagnosis of ASDs spreads through social networks in affluent communities. It's about social environment--not about toxic chemicals.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 03:30 PM FlagI heard and read that autism is on the rise in affluent communities because they have more access to better healthcare and diagnostics. also more on the rise because there are better diagnostic technics than 10-20 years ago. not sure what to believe anymore.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 03:44 PM FlagI recently listened to a special report on autism on PBS and they had many guests. One particular from the CDC stated that the higher numbers are NOT because of the increases in diagnoses and she had many reasons to back this up, one main being that they still count the same. She really made it sound like an epidemic.
[ Reply | More ]04.09.12, 08:43 PM Flag
[+] Anyone willing to admit you took an SSRI while pregnant? What was the outcome? I'm ... 4 replies
- I took Prozac throughout. I tried before I was pregnant to get off the meds, but it did not work. At the end of the pregnancy I tapered off Prozac then went on Zoloft immediately after birth (Zoloft is compatible with breastfeeding, prozac is not). All is well with happy/healthy 4 yo son. Good luck!...
Talk : : April 04, 2012
Anyone willing to admit you took an SSRI while pregnant? What was the outcome? I'm currently pregnant and on a low dose...debating if I should wean off
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.04.12, 03:57 PM Flag ]I took Welbutrin in the last two months of pregnancy to avoid PPD
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 04:36 PM FlagI'm currently tapering off of zoloft because I don't want to be pregnant on it.....I know some people who are comfortable with medication, and some who are not. You should speak to your psychiatrist about this and see a reproductive psychiatrist if you're not already.
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 04:42 PM FlagI took Prozac throughout. I tried before I was pregnant to get off the meds, but it did not work. At the end of the pregnancy I tapered off Prozac then went on Zoloft immediately after birth (Zoloft is compatible with breastfeeding, prozac is not). All is well with happy/healthy 4 yo son. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]04.05.12, 09:06 AM Flag
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Breastfeeding is the lovliest thing I've ever done.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.03.12, 05:43 PM Flag ]u r the frenemy from earlier on aren't you? u just want some support!!!
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 05:46 PM Flag-
I nursed two babies one year each. It was great and if someone was into it, I would be totally supportive. That said it was hardly lovely and I barely think about it any more. No guff from me to anyone who elects to skip it.
[ Reply | More ]04.03.12, 05:57 PM Flag-
No, she's a MOMMY! It's the most important role of our lives! We have to hype it up a lot to justify our existence. Heaven forbid OP just looks at it as something as plain and non universe-shattering as simply feeding her offspring like millions of mammals do. Then she wouldn't feel like a special princess!
[ Reply | More ]04.04.12, 06:32 AM Flag
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[+] I'm going to stop breastfeeding in May. How soon will my boobs go back to "normal" s...
Talk : : April 03, 2012
[+] Those with a workaholic DH, how is your sex life? 4 replies
- he is always working late and I had no desire for the entire time while breastfeeding. Now, that breastfeeding is over, we get romantic in the morning before DB wakes up....
Talk : : March 30, 2012
[+] Why am I hungry? I am breastfeeding a 6 week old, a lot, but I'm eating plenty. Today... 7 replies
- Breastfeeding will do it o you. I'm weaning. A few weeks ago, I would have killed someone to eat if...know anything about you to evaluate your diet, but if you are breastfeeding and you feel hungry EAT. I lost so much weight breastfeeding, it was ridiculous. It all came back at 12 mos when DB dropped to morning and night feeds..., pasta). Also, super helpful website is something like kelly's breastfeeding advice which I found invaluable. you can also go to metro...
Talk : : March 29, 2012
Why am I hungry? I am breastfeeding a 6 week old, a lot, but I'm eating plenty. Today I had a bowl of honey nut cheerios, cous cous with green beans and black beans. Half a bowl of beef stew. 2 servings of homemade mac & cheese with peas and mushrooms. Brussels sprouts. A cookie, a cup of coffee and 2 glasses of milk. That's plenty of food, but my stomach just growled! WTF?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 07:47 PM Flag ]Breastfeeding will do it o you. I'm weaning. A few weeks ago, I would have killed someone to eat if I hadn't had breakfast by 10 am. Today (I'm almost done weaning), I ate nothing until 5 pm. That's totaly not my normal day - prob happens once. Year, but point is I'm SIGNIFICANTLY less hungry now.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 07:50 PM FlagI don't know anything about you to evaluate your diet, but if you are breastfeeding and you feel hungry EAT. I lost so much weight breastfeeding, it was ridiculous. It all came back at 12 mos when DB dropped to morning and night feeds only (at which point I should have controlled my diet rather than starting to drink more and eat just the same).
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 08:17 PM FlagI was plenty hungry too and I ate what I wanted for the first month, then started WW. It allows you to eat unlimited fruits and veggies but still gives you plenty to eat and more of a feeling of control. It worked for me...I breastfed and took the extra weight I gained off while still feeling satisfied. Eat if you are hungry but some structure to your diet could help. GL!
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 08:27 PM FlagYou are doing great! That's totally normal. My son weaned at 22 mths. Until then, I ate like a horse. Eat lots of veggies, fruits, nuts and protein. In between, I always at something with starch to fill me up (couscous salad, farro, pasta). Also, super helpful website is something like kelly's breastfeeding advice which I found invaluable. you can also go to metro minis on 75 and park. Great source. GL and remember you are doing really well!
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 08:40 PM FlagI agree with other posters...you are doing GREAT! You should eat when hungry but it also sounds like you might be THIRSTY! Your food choices seem great but try adding even more protein, like a couple of hard boiled eggs, or a greek yogurt with some nuts. The protein helps keep you full but eat if you are hungry, your body knows what it needs! Good luck and great job!
[ Reply | More ]03.30.12, 07:07 AM Flag
[+] I am still partially BF my DS, age 2.5. I eat anything that comes out of his nose, th... 23 replies
- . and STOP BREASTFEEDING, good lord....
Talk : : March 29, 2012
I am still partially BF my DS, age 2.5. I eat anything that comes out of his nose, that gives my body a chance to make milk that will combat any illnesses he is developing. Does anybody else do this? It seems obvious to me, but I am not sure if I am the only one. He is super healthy, never gets sick.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 05:49 PM Flag ]Jesus. Do you cook the boogers first? Booger pate? Fricassee? Casserole? Or do they have to be "raw" to be effective?
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 05:51 PM FlagWow, that's a new one. You win the fake award for the night. Congrats.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:00 PM FlagThis post may well be the funniest on UB, ever! (hint: don't tell anyone irl.)
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:14 PM Flag-
Wait...WHAT??? "I eat anything that comes out of his nose" might be the most disturbing sentence I ever read.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 07:20 PM Flag
[+] Who's gone dairy-free? What were the benefits you noticed? 13 replies
- I did while breastfeeding (db was sensitive). I lost the pregnancy weight pronto. very easy...
Talk : : March 29, 2012
Who's gone dairy-free? What were the benefits you noticed?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 12:58 PM Flag ]I have. I'm actually trying to be vegan and gluten free (and as close to raw vegan as possible). It's been AMAZING. no more post nasal drip, dry coughs, bloating, etc.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 01:00 PM Flag-
there will only be benefits if you actually don't have then enzyme needed to digest dairy easily. In that case, no more bloat in the gut
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 01:51 PM FlagI did while breastfeeding (db was sensitive). I lost the pregnancy weight pronto. very easy
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 01:54 PM Flag
[+] Used to emotionally overeat and I've been doing well for the past few weeks. What a r... 15 replies
- Good for you. I'm eating way too much, but I still wake up hungry. I'm breastfeeding, though. I hope you can keep it up!...
Talk : : March 29, 2012
Used to emotionally overeat and I've been doing well for the past few weeks. What a relief to wake up hungry rather than bloated. I feel so much better - mentally and physically.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.29.12, 06:16 AM Flag ]-
I started attending these group therapy sessions for emotional eaters. It was really embarrassing at first and for a while, I convinced myself that I was nothing like these women since they seemed so sad. I was/am not overweight, so it's easy to say, "I don't have a problem because I'm not 300lbs." I was 5'6 and 135lbs, so I could delude myself in thinking that perhaps I just had a higher metabolism and needed all of that food. Although, I knew better when I found myself in a situation where I was eating without thinking until I felt sick. Addressing my anxiety and admitting my issues has been tremendously helpful. Losing 10lbs - without trying - over the past three months has also been a literal way of proving that my body did not naturally want to be at that weight; that I truly was eating more than I needed.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:40 AM Flag
Good for you! Keep up the good work - it is all about keeping yourself healthy. Do not beat yourself up if you have a bad day - it happens!
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:32 AM FlagNice work! I struggle with this, too - but am doing well at the moment. Any advice?
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:33 AM FlagYou have to figure out why you are doing it. Sounds simple, but that's the first part. Also, they gave us a diet to follow in order to get back on track. I followed it for a few days, but I was starving, so I dropped it and basically follow common sense. Their diet plan is no processed or refined foods, sugar, fatty dairy products or wheat; as these are the things that people most often binge on.
[ Reply | More ]03.29.12, 06:44 AM Flag
[+] Anyone have their dc's tongue tie treated when they were a toddler? my 21 mon old has... 15 replies
- op: I agree, but I can't turn back time. fwiw dc had NO trouble with breastfeeding (was EBF for almost a full year and was a chubby healthy baby)....
Talk : : March 28, 2012
Anyone have their dc's tongue tie treated when they were a toddler? my 21 mon old has an obvious tongue tie. Never had any difficulty breastfeeding. I noticed it around 3 mon and took him to an ENT who said it would be better to wait and see if it got better on its own. Now that he's talking, though, he seems to have a lot of difficulty with the usual suspects (r, l, th, sh, etc) and I think that ENT sucked and we should have snipped. anyone btdt?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.28.12, 12:36 PM Flag ]I would take him back to the ent....he probably should have had it done as soon as you noticed. The longer you wait the more difficult to do....dentist mom here.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 12:49 PM FlagWith all due respect...see my reply above. My ds had tongue thrust and his well meaning dentist was wrong.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 12:51 PM Flag-
Yes, OR please do not dispense medical advice when ignorant. Toungue thrust is NOT the same as being tongue tied
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:34 PM Flagsp: Correct. Which is why the dentist was wrong--if the frenum were to be clipped the thrust would have been worse--the ENT said the tip would have been over the front of the teeth and over time would have contributed to more issues than the mild tongue tie. Over time the frenum stretched and his issues abated.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 02:33 PM Flag
horrible ENT. a breast feeding infant presenting with a tongue tie should be dealt with the earlier the better. I trained as a midwife & lactation consultant ( in the uk) I did them all the time. no pain, heals perfectly. early intervention is key.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:03 PM Flagop: I agree, but I can't turn back time. fwiw dc had NO trouble with breastfeeding (was EBF for almost a full year and was a chubby healthy baby).
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:08 PM Flagwell done you! with a tongue tie that's a superb result. don't worry about turning back time. find a new practioner & have the tie snipped. he'll be absolutely fine & you will be at peace. if you wait to see how his speech develops it could more than likely be a more traumatic event for dc. GL.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 01:34 PM Flag-
Yes, they don't snip for tongue-tie anymore unless you are talking a very severe case. Seriously, do not listen to dentists or lactation consultants! FYI -- ENTs get PAID to do the snips, so it speaks highly of one who doesn't want to do an unnecessary procedure.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 03:55 PM Flag
[+] Going to give birth to #2 soon. I'm very happy to have another child but not thrilled... 13 replies
- Pg with #2, due in a couple months, and feel the same way. I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights, breastfeeding/formula (I don't think I'll make it a whole year), and even with older babies, what you described. You're not alone! I do think it will pass quicker though - that's what everybody says. My pregnancy certainly has....
Talk : : March 28, 2012
Going to give birth to #2 soon. I'm very happy to have another child but not thrilled about babyhood. Didn't enjoy #1's first year or so of life because of the lack of verbal communication and the general ... blobbiness. Cute and smiley, but a blob just the same. Any tips for appreciating it more this time or am I just condemned to not be a "baby person"?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.28.12, 11:47 AM Flag ]Pg with #2, due in a couple months, and feel the same way. I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights, breastfeeding/formula (I don't think I'll make it a whole year), and even with older babies, what you described. You're not alone! I do think it will pass quicker though - that's what everybody says. My pregnancy certainly has.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 11:58 AM FlagI am a parenting realist. I'm not focused 24/7 on my child, however I did enjoy their personality even as a baby. Is dad around? By that I mean, while he may be in the home if he's constantly working and you have no one to share the cutesy moments with or who "gets it", then it could feel a bit isolating. My oldest used to fight his blankets as an infant. We would place him on a blanket and things would start out nicely and then all of a sudden he'd be rolling around, pummeling the thing-- complete blankie fight...hilarious to watch. Eventually he'd get upset and we'd "save him" We would laugh and come up with the play by play that must have occurred: Nice blankie chat and all of a sudden, "What'd you say about my mama?" and the fight was on. Lol. Those little things you remember.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 12:13 PM FlagOP: You're right that I haven't really considered that the sibling interaction could be fun to watch. Yes, my DH is going down to PT so that he can take care of the DB too. He's much better with babies than I am. Very patient. He's also better at talking to babies. He can have a one-sided conversation with a 2 WO.
[ Reply | More ]03.28.12, 12:17 PM Flag
[+] Anyone on Generess Fe for BC? Done breastfeeding and want to switch over to a combo p...
Talk : : March 27, 2012
[+] DB is a year old and I'm on the minipill--stopped breastfeeding 2 months ago. And I'm... 2 replies
Talk : : March 27, 2012
DB is a year old and I'm on the minipill--stopped breastfeeding 2 months ago. And I'm getting my first period since getting pregnant. I didn't think I could get my period on the minipill? BTDT?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 10:57 AM Flag ]Yes, I was you. Then I was getting it like every two weeks on the mini pill, it was ridiculous and the cramping I used to suffer for m came with it. I switched back to the pill I was on before getting pregnant, combo pills more effective anyway. FYI I take Kariva
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 11:03 AM Flag
[+] When did you get your period in relation to breastfeeding? My daughter is just over ... 6 replies
Talk : : March 27, 2012
When did you get your period in relation to breastfeeding? My daughter is just over a year old--- I don't want to stop nursing but I want to start TTC. Haven't had a period yet. I am not that young so I'm eager to start trying for another, but I really enjoy nursing (I work full time and it is a nice re-connection every day) and my daughter seems to love it as well. Would love to hear other experiences.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.27.12, 09:03 AM Flag ]
[+] Can you tell me what were your breastfed baby's symptoms if they were allergic to dai... 1 reply
- ds was fine with breastfeeding but threw up and screamed for hours the first time he tried milk formula. After that, we used soy when we needed to supplement....
Talk : : March 27, 2012
[+] I have small boobs (barely an A) and I hate it. I'm tall and very slim and feel so un... 18 replies
- Me three. Went from an A to Nothing At All after breastfeeding 2 dcs. hate the way I look naked, but I'm a chicken....
Talk : : March 26, 2012
I have small boobs (barely an A) and I hate it. I'm tall and very slim and feel so unsexy and unfeminine.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.26.12, 07:03 PM Flag ]-
Well,I have giant boobs and I hate them. I haven't left the house without a bra on since I was 12 and I look like a hooker in most sundresses. I can't wait to have this second kid and get them reduced.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 07:11 PM FlagHA! I was you. I was in the plastic surgeons office the month after I stopped nursing #2. I now have perfect C's! Go for it.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 07:20 PM Flag-
Free. My insurance paid for it. I had years of PT and chiropractic care before hand for back issues. But I think the cost out of pocket was around 10,000 (which I would have paid if insurance didn't cover it). And looking back it would have been well worth it. It was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself and self image.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 07:30 PM Flag
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Do you have dcs? Look on the bright side. Eventually, those of us with big boobs turn fried eggsville, once breast feeding and baby making are behind us. It's not cute. We then have to get breast lifts or implants to pick our once-perky tits up off the floor and place them back onto our chests. So, appreciate your little niblets and the fact that you can wear anything you want off the runway. Signed, former 34DD, now 34DroopyDonna (really)
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 07:26 PM FlagI think natural generally looks much better. That said, I have two friends who both had pretty much just nipples. They both waited a long time before finally taking the plunge to get implants and they are both very happy with them. Ultimately, I think you should do what you think will make you feel good about yourself.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 08:27 PM FlagDH here - OP, you're tall and thin, trust me, most guys really don't care about your cup size.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 05:08 AM Flag
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[+] My breastfed 12 week old still doesn’t sleep, ever. He eats every 2 hours during th... 57 replies
- away) and slept so much longer at night. Someone else can also take the baby over at night (DH or a relative) so you can have a complete night of sleep. You can still breastfeed too and the baby will get all the benefits. Being a 100% breastfeeder is completely not worth losing your mind and health....
Talk : : March 26, 2012
My breastfed 12 week old still doesn’t sleep, ever. He eats every 2 hours during the day and only naps 45 minutes at a time--after a half hour of fussing/screaming every time. During the night he has one 4 hour stretch, then is up every 2 hours, and in between he is so restless/noisy it’s impossible to sleep. I’ve had 3 or 4 hours of broken sleep every night for 3 months, and I work from home and have an older child too. We are all miserable and angry and resentful and exhausted. We have read every book and tried every method--nothing makes any difference. Is there ANY kind of sleep expert or doctor in NYC? This is not physically or emotionally sustainable. It kills me that he must be picking up on my resentment, but I’m just too tired to be able to help it. I cry all the time.
57 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.26.12, 03:22 AM Flag ]I am you, and a mom of 4. You just have to hang in there. Around 6 mos it should begin to improve. In the meantime can you cut back work hours, go to bed early when the baby first goes down, hire any kind of housecleaning help, have family over to help once a week -- anything like that?
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 03:27 AM FlagOP: I can't cut work hours any more. Baby goes to bed at 6:30, I can just about manage to get to bed at 8:30. Can't afford housecleaning help. Family comes over a lot, but that's to cover my work at home hours. Honestly I can't make it another 3 months. I will have a nervous breakdown.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 03:34 AM FlagOR Well, you could call Natali at mommywise.com. I promise this isn't spam, I just know her ideas worked for a friend of mine. I spoke with her on the phone once and she was very compassionate and nice.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 03:40 AM FlagDon't worry about housecleaning. You need to get the laundry done. They rest of it can wait. The baby's immobile, clutterand unvacuumed floors don't matter.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 04:34 AM Flag
have you tried cutting all dairy from your diet? I bf my daughter and she was majorly colicky. Cutting out the dairy helped.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 04:29 AM FlagOP again: so he'd been up since 5 and needed a nap. Can only do about 1 1/2 hours of awake time. Was just starting to yawn etc. Tried to put him down and he shrieked and shrieked. My 8 year old took him, he stopped crying, she rocked him a bit, put him down. He burbled for a few minutes and went to sleep. Out like a light. WTF?
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 04:34 AM Flag-
I was you and formula saved my life. The baby was so much more content (crying went away) and slept so much longer at night. Someone else can also take the baby over at night (DH or a relative) so you can have a complete night of sleep. You can still breastfeed too and the baby will get all the benefits. Being a 100% breastfeeder is completely not worth losing your mind and health.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 04:55 AM FlagA 12 week old is too young to sleep train, and to be honest, your DB sounds right on track (4 hrs, then 2, 2). And babies are noisy! Just move him to another room or right outside your door -- you WILL heat him when we needs you. DB used to sleep in the hallway some nights. The other thing you might want to consider is bed-sharing. Some babies just need to feel you next to them to sleep soundly.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 04:59 AM FlagOR I don't think he is hungry. I'd skip the formula. Ask your ped if your baby is big enough to go several hours without eating at night and if so, baby probably just wants you near. You could try holding instead of nursing at these times, baby will cry but you will be there - could begin to change the sleep associations...?
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 05:00 AM FlagI had the exact same baby. The only thing that worked for me was to wear her all day in a wrap or a sling. Try the moby wrap if he isn't too heavy. If he is too heavy for you to carry in a moby wrap, try an ergo on the front. You are doing a great job! It will get easier, I promise!! Great work with the nursing round the clock, i KNOW it's not easy but it will get so much easier!!
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 05:13 AM FlagOR: also, even though i did not intend for this to happen, we coslept bc it helped me get much more sleep. Look into learning how to nurse side to side, eventually you can sleep through a feeding. La Leche League helped me tremendously but there are also youtube videos of how to nurse 'side-lying' . Hope this helps.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 05:15 AM FlagOP: He's super heavy and I"m super small--he's 14lbs to my 100lbs. It's hard. And he doesn't really like it.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 08:50 AM Flagsometimes it takes some getting used to so he may not like it at first, but they learn to love it, especially if the are held babies...an ergo might be better for you bc its much more supportive than the moby. Also, you can start wearing him on your back in a few months which will feel great.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 09:05 AM Flag
Your baby's 12wo you need to chill. Sounds like he isn't doing that bad at all, my babies slept on me for the first 16weeks before they were sleep trained. You CAN NOT sleep train a 12wo it's a newborn who needs you!!!!!
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 05:21 AM Flag-
Do you think you may have a little ppd combined with a baby who may be a bit "colicky". Do you have any help? Taking a nap with the baby during this time (3 months) helped me immeasurably.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 05:42 AM FlagYour baby is normal. At that age (from 0-about 3 months), a baby needs a nap after being awake for around 2 hours. They could be asleep for 45 minutes - 2 hours, and then be awake for up to two hours. Also beginning at 3 months, you should start seeing 6 hours of sleep at night (from midnight feeding to 6 am). At four months, you might get 8 - 12 hours. Just know that from 0-3 months, your schedule has been perfectly normal.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 06:23 AM Flagformula won't kill the baby and you'll all be happier. poor kid is prob hungry.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 06:47 AM FlagOh, I had one of those. Stop eating broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, anything cruciferous/gassy. Wear baby (sling, bjorn, whatever is most comfortable for both of you) all the time. Co-sleep (if dh will roll over on baby, put a folding rail up on your side of the bed and let baby sleep between you and the bar; remove pillows and blankets from near baby, make sure head of bed is flush with wall so baby can't slip down, etc.). During day, esp. after feedings/when fussy, make sure to both burp db and also hold him face down along your arm for a while -- the colic hold -- which puts gentle pressure on the tummy. db's head is in your hand (turned sideways for breathing!) and tush is around your elbow, limbs draped over your arm. Is he pooping ok? you may need to do things like gently bicycle his legs while he is lying on his back, rub his tummy in a -- ask your ped if it is clockwise or counterclockwise direction, I've forgotten! For us it got better after about 6 months and disappeared at 9-1/2 months when db started walking, maybe it was the increased exercise which helped being colicky or maybe the increased control and mobility which made her happier. And sounds like you have a lovely 8 year old who can help you out -- being the one who can soothe the baby like that is going to make her so, so proud of herself and she will love her little brother and protect him forever. Can you cut back on your workload for now or hire a temp while things are so stressful?
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 08:20 AM FlagI started sleeping with earplugs in. You can still hear when DB is really crying and needs to be fed, but you DON'T hear the little restless baby noises they make in between that keep you up and tense the rest of the time. Really, it was a big help.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 08:29 AM FlagA few other thoughts: 1) Are you swaddling for naps? We kept swaddling for naps (and nights) till DB was like 6 months old, and it was a BIG help for sleep. We also used the swing for naps a lot, and for a long time he seemed to have longer naps in there. 2) Can you make the time between naps shorter? Sounds like he might be overtired. I've read there shouldn't be more than 2 hours between naps at that age. (Though 30 min naps at that age is not uncommon) 3) Talk to your pediatrician. Mine says that once a baby reaches 15 pounds it's OK to sleep train, because their bodies don't NEED to eat every couple of hours anymore -- it's more of a habit. I realize that's contraversial, and I personally didn't feel comfortable sleep training that early. But that's a personal decision every family has to make.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 09:40 AM FlagOP: tried both swaddling and not. No real difference. He won't sleep in the swing. Have tried making time shorter--anywhere from 45 min to 2 hours between naps--again no difference. 30 min naps would be fine if he didn't scream for 30 minutes first then wake up screaming. he is just so sleep-resistant!
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 11:18 AM Flag
Read the book Babywise. I was like this with my 1st, and it literally almost went crazy from sleep deprivation. I know you have said you have read everything, but probably not this one. It talks about the 45 minute intruder (naps that only go for 45 min during the day) which is common at 12 wks. If you have read it, read it again- and actually implement all of the steps. Most people who say it didnt work didn't really follow through with it.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 09:51 AM FlagOP here: even if the night sleep is normal, still have the nap issue. He is overtired all the time--yawning, rubbing eyes, etc. However, whenever (and however) we try to get him down for a nap, he shrieks and cries for up to 45 minutes. Then sleeps about 30, and up crying again. Happens if we cut awake time shorter, make it longer...if he's in the car or stroller or carrier...we can't find any happy way to get him down for a nap, let alone sleep as long as he clearly needs to.
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 11:14 AM Flagbuy a swing that works for up to 30 lbs and that also plugs into the wall. feed him right before you put him in it. put the music on. done. should sleep for two hours. you could top him up with formula also. i did this with my now 9month old db and he is sleeping during the day and so much better in the night. good luck! http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fisher-Price-Swing-n-Glider-Dreamsicle/14546721
[ Reply | More ]03.26.12, 06:37 PM Flag
I just gave into him. I also WAHM, and have two children. I can make six month old DB sleep for three hours if I put him on boob every 45 minutes. I work mostly lying down next to him in bed, when he starts to grizzle i whack a boob in his mouth, kind of lie on my side and keep working. It's not great obviously, but what can you do. This way he gets enough rest and is happy and alert after enough sleep cycles. Through the night I cosleep, so I sleep while he feeds.
[ Reply | More ]03.27.12, 05:30 AM Flag
[+] What did you eat today? 71 replies
- I'm breastfeeding a newborn. I get hungry. Suck it, hater!...
Talk : : March 25, 2012
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all carbs! sunflower flagel for breakfast, cake for lunch (Had to make as a trial for an event coming up) and pizza for dinner. WHAT?
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 04:54 PM Flagenglish muffin, 4 pieces of bacon, one scrambled egg, two shrimp cocktail, 2 dinner rolls, roasted asparagus and brussel sprouts, bbq chicken thigh
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 04:58 PM Flag-
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I am - and never heard of a flagel. We have bagels every weekend - from a great, regular, local bagel place that wouldn't be caught dead calling anything a flagel.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:03 PM Flagwhat is a flat bagel, I'm from NY and I do not think I have seen a flat bagel
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:05 PM Flaghttp://newyork.seriouseats.com/2008/09/flat-bagels-flagels-davids-gramercy-nyc.html
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:10 PM Flag
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Coffee, some almonds, steamed broccoli and chicken and some strawberries.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 04:58 PM Flag7 slices of pizza, 5 big chocolate chip cookies, diet Mr. Pibb, greek salad, and grapes. Not all at the same time of course.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 04:59 PM FlagBeautiful. The coffee isn't the best option, perhaps 8 oz. of soy or rice milk or organic skim milk would be more optimal but we all must have small indulgences. You are to be commended.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:08 PM Flag-
Green tea...chicken sandwich on a baguette...sweet potato fries...mimosa. Thinking of ordering something piggy for dinner...maybe ziti.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:01 PM Flag-
Leftover Chinese day. Chicken finger prior to walking dogs. Some chicken lo mein, dd asked for mine halfway thru, gave it to her. Half an egg roll. Large bowl hunan pork with 3/4 broccoli/celery/peppers. vodka. Saturday!
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:10 PM FlagThe chicken finger is high in sodium and for the small amount of protein much too high in fat. This also goes for the chicken lo mein which in addition lacks any real nutritional offering. The egg roll is fried and no service to your heart. The vodka was simply one of the first death knells sounded to your liver. Fail.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:15 PM Flag-
Breakfast: egg and cheese on english muffin. Glass of 1% milk. Lunch: Grandma's beef and barley soup with a slice of red pepper and hummus bread with sunflower seeds. Salad with tuna and roman beans, oil and vinegar. Dinner: Leftover chicken chow mein with lots of sriracha. Dessert: Cup of black tea, cookie from an Italian bakery and a piece of chocolate.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:28 PM FlagWas this all consumed by one human? I would have thought that this was the daily menu for a team of ranch hands. Breakfast was fine, however lunch goes a bit astray. Certainly the bread was not needed. Chicken chow mein has been addressed in an earlier entry. The cookie and the chocolate?
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:33 PM Flag-
I presume that you are feeding a human baby. Your diet would only make sense if you were suckling a newborn cow.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:39 PM FlagNP: I think this single, annoying troll has ruined UB for me- thank you! I need to stop wasting time and every time I read something you write, I mourn the .5 seconds I wasted. Once again - off to do something moer productive. I hope 2 nights in a row is enough to learn my lesson and never come back.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:43 PM Flag
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Scrambled eggs, cereal, milk, yogurt, raisins, a banana, watermelon, apple, chicken, squash, carrots
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:39 PM Flag-
cinnamon raisin bagel with butter, orange juice, ice cream sandwich, small bowl of spaghetti & meatballs, fresh watermelon, a pile of ruffles potato chips, macaroni and cheese. I'm pregnant and have only gained 2 lbs so far, therefore, I am eating whatever I want
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 05:55 PM FlagWe would be friends IRL. No one else seems to get your humor. Love it
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 06:02 PM Flag-
2 blueberry muffins, scrambled eggs, cantaloupe and blueberries for breakfast, leftover kale-lentil soup and slice of corn bread for lunch, pot roast, mashed potatoes, roasted butternut squash and brussels sprouts for dinner and then a banana, orange and carrot sticks for snacks. Plus a slice of chocolate cake a few minutes ago.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 06:27 PM Flageggs, olives, peanut butter, jam, banana, miso soup, tons of sushi.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 08:23 PM Flagfresh squeezed oj (in my new juicer!), cappucino, life cereal/milk, chicken, asparagus and potatoe, glass white wine, birthday cake and 2 halves of cookies, piece of cheese, sparkling water, piece of bday cake, more cookies, taste of tiramisu, brownie bite type thing, more potatoes.
[ Reply | More ]03.25.12, 08:37 PM Flag
[+] Looking for a great cocktail dress that is amenable to breastfeeding. And I also nee... 8 replies
- are you planning on breastfeeding at a cocktail party?...
Talk : : March 23, 2012
Looking for a great cocktail dress that is amenable to breastfeeding. And I also need some guidance re shoes. Been a loooooonnnggg time since I've gotten dressed up and I am officially clueless.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.23.12, 07:17 PM Flag ]Are you bringing your DB with you? Confused!! Regardless, two piece outfit or stretchy (read Jersey) v-neck dress may work. As for shoes, depends but you can not go wrong with nude heels with almost anything (kitten heels if you can't walk in 2 inch and above).
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 07:59 PM Flag-
Wrap dress. I easily and discretely breastfed at a wedding in one
[ Reply | More ]03.23.12, 08:16 PM Flag-
Long is great if you have the height: http://www.dvf.com/Abigail-Dress/D2768001V11R,default,pd.html?dwvar_D2768001V11R_color=PDLPK&start=13&preselectsize=yes&cgid=wrap-shop-fashion
[ Reply | More ]03.24.12, 04:53 AM Flag
[+] I love all of these posts about alcohol during breastfeeding. People, alcohol in brea... 11 replies
- Reading difficulties? This is breastfeeding we're talking about....
- I drank Guinness when I was breastfeeding - one of the maternity nurses recommended it for milk production. I didn't believe it at first...
Talk : : March 21, 2012
I love all of these posts about alcohol during breastfeeding. People, alcohol in breastmilk is the same as alcohol levels in blood! Meaning, 2-3 glasses of wine will result in your child getting 0.1% concentration of alcohol - a meaningless amount! This is science and easily measured/tested at that!
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.21.12, 11:50 AM Flag ]You're right - that is a safe blood-alcohol level, esp. since DC won't be driving.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 11:56 AM FlagCan you cite your statement that breast milk alcohol concentration is the same as BAL?
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 12:13 PM Flaghttp://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-3/230-234.htm .... this is all over the place. And it's the easiest thing in the world to test - you simply have women drink and measure the concentration in breastmilk they pump and take their BAC. It's not like trying to figure out how much alcohol actually gets to the fetus.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 12:16 PM FlagNP: This is well-known and researched - google it and you'll find plenty of studies. 1-2 glasses of wine, fine - more, skip the next feeding. I wouldn't necessarily be hitting the hard stuff while nursing (although my grandma always tells us about having her tom collins while nursing my mom-- and I mean WHILE - she turned out fine!)
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 12:19 PM Flag
I don't care what you say. I still wouldn't do it. Why take the chance that five years from now some study will prove there are health risks? Drinking wine is not that important.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 03:16 PM FlagWhat health risk are they going to discover when the concentration is known? Again, it's not difficult to measure how alcohol affects breast milk. If you are worried about the trace amount of alcohol in breast milk, you're being silly - most doctors will let you feed a 6 month old orange juice or purred fruit,, which can have alcohol concentration of .1-.3 percent ... Higher than breast milk after 2 glasses of wine.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 07:04 PM Flag
[+] My sister has a two year old she is still BFing, but she also drinks wine -- sometime... 22 replies
- Which is the issue you are minding yourown business on here? Breastfeeding at 24 months or drinking a little wine while breastfeeding....
- I agree with you. Your sister need to either choose the breastfeeding or the wine. At this age, either choice is fine, but it is...
- Wrong. I'm not saying breastfeeding a 2 year-old is - would not be my choice, but I doubt...
Talk : : March 21, 2012
My sister has a two year old she is still BFing, but she also drinks wine -- sometimes 2 or 3 glasses in a night. My nephew is pretty smart and has no problems, but do you think this will cause issues down the line?? I want to mind my own business, but I do love my nephew.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.21.12, 06:47 AM Flag ]Which is the issue you are minding yourown business on here? Breastfeeding at 24 months or drinking a little wine while breastfeeding.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 06:50 AM Flag-
Are you serious? 2-3 glasses of wine will appear in the breast milk in the same quanities as it will in her blood: likely less than 0.1% concentration by volume(2-3 glasses of wine over the course of an evening should keep you within the legal driving limit). To keep it in perspective, a beer is usually 4-6% alcohol, a glass of wine 10-17%, etc. Even a NON ALCOHOLIC beer is 0.5% alcohol by volume. At 0.1%, he is fine - in fact, he is probably getting more alcohol from other naturally occuring sources like fruit, etc. (which does have trace amounts of alcohol in it). Research before you judge. This information is available on the internet!
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 06:58 AM Flagnp: would anyone feel differently if mom was smoking pot while still breast-feeding?
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 07:47 AM FlagI don't know that there is as much research on pot and the effects. Alcohol is well-documented - that it comes out in trace quanities in breast milk, so unless you are getting totally hammered, it's a non issue. Also, it's illegal. OP is being judgemental on something she could have googled.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 07:58 AM Flag
I agree with you. Your sister need to either choose the breastfeeding or the wine. At this age, either choice is fine, but it is ridiculous for her to do both. If she is so concerned about his well being to breastfeed at age 2, she needs to keep her body free of substances that will be harmful to him.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 08:52 AM FlagWrong. I'm not saying breastfeeding a 2 year-old is - would not be my choice, but I doubt it's harmful. But 2-3 glasses of wine will not come out in breastmilk in quanities that can harm a 2 year old.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 10:29 AM Flag-
Do some research. You aren't taking a "chance." Alcohol level in breastmilk is the same as blood - meaning, 2-3 glasses of wine should give you a BAC of 0.1% (roughly the legal driving limit). This means in a 8 oz serving of breastmilk the kid is getting 1/5 of a GRAM of alcohol. If your kid eats a baked good with vanilla in it (2 teaspoons per 24 servings is pretty common in many frostings). That's 10 grams of vanilla, or 4 grams of alcohol over 24 servings. 4/24 = .16 grams, so almost the same amount. Not to mention that if the baked good has vanilla in it, only 15-25% of the alcohol would come off in cooking (things need to cook for 3+ hours). Not to mention fruit juice can have alcohol levels of 0.1%. Alchohol is in a lot of things- dose matters.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 11:48 AM Flag
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i don't understand why she doesn't move to organic milk at this point, if she wants to continue drinking.
[ Reply | More ]03.21.12, 11:51 AM Flag
[+] how long after period came back did your cycle return to normal? i got my first per...
Talk : : March 20, 2012
[+] MIL vent!!! I am not looking to get into a formula vs breastfeeding debate here. Im a... 47 replies
- Have you really read the article? This is not about formula/breastfeeding but feeding on demand vs. feeding on a schedule. Whatever MIL was trying to tell you could not have been her disapproving...
- it was disapproval, b/c the subject of the email was "newsflash! how breastfeeding makes you smart!". I kid you not ;)....
Talk : : March 20, 2012
MIL vent!!! I am not looking to get into a formula vs breastfeeding debate here. Im an MD, so MIL knows that I am somewhat informed when it comes to medical issues. She has always not approved of the fact that I formula fed my kids, and so sends the the following snippet from the NYPost. NY POST!!!! "babies who are breast fed or bottle fed on demand perform better academically than those who are fed on a schedule, acc to a study published yesterday. Using data from more than 10,000 children researchers found that demand fed babies scored 4 to 5 points higher on IQ tests at age 8. Demand feeding was also associated with higher scores in school, according to the study." Her passive agressiveness makes me so angry!! I get that she and my FIL dont approve of me or any of my parenting decisions. but do you really think sending me a summary of an article published in the European Journal of Public Health (I *did* read the actual article last week), is going to suddenly change my mind? get a life!!!! aargh she drives me up the wall.
47 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.20.12, 12:00 PM Flag ]your mil sounds like a piece of work. But the question remains: why don't you breastfeed or give a bottle on demand if you're such an informed MD?
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:03 PM FlagMaybe she didn't want to? or couldn't? Many women can't, you know. I have a friend who had children after having mastectomies and reconstructive surgery and she had "well meaning" people ask why she was giving her kids Similac. Nice.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:08 PM Flag-
No, it's not. That's like walking up to someone who is about to eat dessert in a restaurant and asking them why they are indulging in sugar. Or having a glass of wine. Or asking why they chose to put butter on their bread vs. olive oil.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:18 PM Flagyes, it is in the context of OP wanting people to condemn MIL. maybe we would agree with MIL if we knew the real facts. who knows?
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:20 PM FlagOP here- I'm not asking anyone to condemn MIL for her opinion! I could be the surgeon general or the secretary of health, or the chairman of medicine at mass general,and her opinion, educated, informed, or not, would still be valid, everyone is entitled to their opinions. I was just venting about a) the fact that she feels it necessary to condemn all my parenting decisions and get involved in nitty gritty things like this and b) she does it in a passive aggressive way because she knows if she said to me over dinner, "look what I found on page 5 of the new york post, this totally debunks everything you did with your kids as babies, I was right all along," id laugh in her face- not because she is not entitled to thinking that (she does think it), but because her "proof" is a blurb from a tabloid.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:59 PM Flag
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OP here. I did breastfeed, for the first couple of months. just not full time, being that with DC#1 I was in med school, and DC#2, I was doing my residency. I did while i was home, but when I went back to school/work, I formula fed. the first 6 weeks are critical, and I made sure to keep it up almost full time (occasional bottles given by DH at night when I was dead tired) for that period, but being that I didnt pump, it was virtually impossible to keep up "partial" nursing after that (my supply went way down). thats your answer - but I really dont want to get into a formula debate. I'm not a pediatrician, or obgyn, I'm a surgeon....not my field.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:21 PM Flag
Reply: "If you must, please feel free to send this stuff to your son. I am not interested in your news forwarding service. FWIW, I read the full journal article last week. Talk to you soon. Best, DIL."
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:04 PM FlagOP here. I feel like writing that, but I almost think doing so lends too much credence to it, makes it seem like she got a rise out of me. IDK. and DH knows they dont like me, and he sides with me, but telling him sh*t like this only makes him feel awful....
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:22 PM Flagjust do it. set a boundary. maybe say it like: "Thanks. For my job, I stay update on all of this research and have services that provide me with update research (including full articles). As a result, please don't bother forwarding articles to me. Talk to you soon. Best, DIL"
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:39 PM Flag
I've got a mother like that. She cares about my kid. I let my processing stop there.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:13 PM Flag-
OP: but she is your MOTHER! I disagree with my mom on lots of stuff, esp when it coems to parenting. I disagree with choices she made with me and my sibs growing up, and at this age, i have no qualms in letting her know, and discussing my opinions with her. and she is up front with me about my parenting- and I like it that way. but there is a huge difference in my mind btwn a mom and a MIL!
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:24 PM Flagpp: Either way, IMO, it is a woman looking out for her grandkids.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:35 PM FlagThis. breast feeding is unquestionably better. as an "informed" md, op should know this.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:41 PM Flagpp: I dont think you are being fair, this is not about OP not being aware, it is about MIL beating her up over it and how to deal.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 01:07 PM Flagmaybe it is about OP being aware, or prioritizing this. she didn't make the time to pump, etc., maybe because she didn't appreciate the benefits. who knows. it certainly cannot be, and almost certainly isn't, the case that being an MD (and even a surgeon) means you can't breastfeed. please. people figure it out when it's important to them.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 01:33 PM Flag
NP- my younger kid is 4. how is sending me something like that relevant to her grandkids? lol. shes trying to grind my gears. DHs sis and I had two kids (coincidentally) at about the same time. she exclusively nursed both of them until they were 12 and 18 months. MIL was always coming down hard on me about not pumping when I went back to work. I did what I could. I did nurse exclusively when I was on maternity leave. but I dont have the kid of job where I can go sit somewhere for half an hour every few hrs to pump, and when my last kid was born (during residency), i had it worse than I have it now! leaky, engorged, painful breasts during an 8 hr surgery was just not something that was an option for me. so I suck as a mom then, I guess. IDK. too late now.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:53 PM Flagpp: This sounds like you need to come to grips as much as family. Is breast feeding better? yes. So is a lot of stuff that some of us don't do. No one is going to be happy in life if they hold them self up to the ideal. You made a choice. Own it and move on. And also remind yourself that while breast feeding might be better, it is only a marginal difference and as your kid ages, the benefit gets pretty close to the baseline.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 01:11 PM Flag
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Wow. That is outrageous. If it's possible, she sounds both aggressive and passive-aggressive.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:16 PM FlagI am a staunch BFing mom, and I have a similar situation with my MIL, so I will say her issues lie deeper than BF/FF in this case. Is she a SAHM? I don't ask to have a SAH/WOH debate, but some MILs tend to see house/family as their domain and expertise. I know mine does. It bothers her that I respond with 'We believe that XYZ...'. DH says it makes her feel invalidated. So she researches and sends me all this expert advice. Last week FIL sent me a scare article on microwave ovens. Why me? I don't know. Just reply saying 'Thanks for that perspective. I will definitely read it this weekend'
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:17 PM Flagyes, she is. and I think shes always felt threatened by me and my "career." IDK. she sent me something like a year ago about the dangers of drinking soda (not that she is some big granola mama or anything- thats the ironic part! *IM* the one who has a no candy policy at home. but I DO allow my kids to have occasional soda, which apparently she doesnt approve of). prob was it wasnt even evidence based! It was one of those BS scare forwards like "coca cola can be used to clean your toilets! therefore, it can kill you!" guess what lady? did you know dihydrogen monoxide is found in ACID RAIN?? and did you know that dihydrogen monoxide can be found in many malignant growths? oh, and OMG in nuclear bombs! so lets ban water along with coke. she does this every few months, to show me how involved she is, and how she is so great at being a SAHM. wow. Im impressed. you clean your kitchen AND You find the time to send me random articles from the new york post! gotta hand it to you woman. youve really got your sh*t together. arrrrgh. sorry. just really needed to say that.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:28 PM Flag
She's subtle isn't she? But not sure I get what her point is. Were your kids not fed on demand or something reasonable approximating that?
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:20 PM Flagactually - my kids WERE fed on demand, after I finished nursing especially. and that was always something she gave her two cents about too. she felt like I was spoiling my kids by not having them on a "schedule" like she had her kids on. well- why SHOULD i have my 3 month old on a strict schedule, and "force" him to sleep through the night, if I am up anyway? I was very laid back with scheduling, and my kids always fed on demand, which bothered her. IDK. shes just wierd. if I say its day, she says its night. e/t I do is wrong in their eyes. but I hate the passive aggressiveness. at least my FIL tells DH his issues with me (....last time we came to visit, I spent too long on the phone with a patient and it was rude, I left a cup on the counter after DS finished drinking it, oh, and then there was the time that I put some dirty dishes from the sink, into the dishwasher, and it was not "my place" to do that- how rude of me....I can go on and on....)
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:32 PM Flag
Have you really read the article? This is not about formula/breastfeeding but feeding on demand vs. feeding on a schedule. Whatever MIL was trying to tell you could not have been her disapproving of you formula feeding your child unless her reading comprehension skills are just as poor as yours.
[ Reply | More ]03.20.12, 12:32 PM Flag
[+] I just want to thank you guys. I posted a couple of days ago about my breastfeeding ... 4 replies
Talk : : March 18, 2012
I just want to thank you guys. I posted a couple of days ago about my breastfeeding challenges. Milk production is still not sufficient, but it has improved. I'm nursing more and pumping a little less less. So...thanks for your advice and encouragement. :-)
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.18.12, 11:48 AM Flag ]
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