A bounty on Wesley attracts increasingly dangerous space mercenaries. Geordi & Data get in a fight, divide the Enterprise in half with tape.

Picard finds Jane Austen in a victorian cryo-pod, doubts her identity but still dates her. Beverly spies on them from behind a plant.

A Tasha Yar clone hails the ship; the crew turns off the lights and pretends they're not home. The ladies on deck 8 love them some Riker.

With the Enterprise in for repairs, Picard recounts three tall tales to the senior staff. Barclay severs his finger playing with a door.

While visiting a brewery planet, Riker is forcibly indoctrinated into a cider cult. Data is completely covered in cats.

A Cardassian dignitary is assassinated with a mysterious "sonic bullet". Guinan lets slip that she was once engaged to Abraham Lincoln.

A giant alien spermatozoa attacks the Enterprise, trying to impregnate the warp core. Picard's formal uniform is a dress. Sorry, but it is.

Picard consoles a star with electromagnetic consciousness that's being consumed by a black hole. Worf claims his decorative sash is "armor".

Future versions of Beverly travel back in time to demand she be executed before she goes insane and kills Wesley. Directed by LeVar Burton.

Riker must battle the only thing in the galaxy he may not be able to defeat: A CLONE OF HIMSELF. Troi is torn.

Something is transferring the Enterprise crew's brain patterns into shoddy robotic duplicates. Data dares Geordi to lick the warp core.

Cardassian spies mistakenly destroy an entire deck, killing many, stranding the Enterprise in a black hole's path. Troi loves milkshakes!

Picard must broker peace between the Lizard Men and their delicious enemies the Cricket People. Wes still sleeps in that rainbow turtleneck.

A pair of ensigns abuse multiple transporter “hops” to achieve a contact high, mistakenly ripping open space/time. Tribbles.

A team of elite space thieves deactivate the Enterprise's artificial gravity and steal the warp core. Barclay disintegrates his legs.

The Enterprise is flung into the Delta Quadrant by an alien called the Caretaker. Geordi soups up the warp core and they're home by dinner.

Picard must devise a plan to free the Enterprise from a gravitational "pitcher plant" nebula. Beverly's harmonica performance is torturous.

Data must solely represent non-carbon-based life at a Federation symposium on galactic civil rights. Riker fights a bear.

Viggo St. Charles, Picard’s childhood nemesis, embroils him in a hunt for a long lost shipment of rare wine. Troi finds Barclay's dolls.

A rakish pilot from Beverly’s past steals a dangerous prototype space fighter. Riker’s play ignites a sexual hysteria among the female crew.