Television Archive

Introduction | 08.30.01
Welcome to the Idiot Box, Flak readers. Why we're launching a TV section. By Flak Staff

Columns | Commentaries | Essays
Networks | Programs | Commercials

Columns

Commentaries

ALF DVD Commentary, No. 2 | 01.26.05
"Heavy, hairy, and [able to talk]." That's ALF. And that's why he's worth a second Flak original audio commentary. By Steve Carey, Chris Rosen and James Norton

ALF DVD Commentary, No. 1 | 01.11.05
One of the world's best-known puppet-midgets finally gets an audio commentary worthy of his stature. By Steve Carey, Chris Rosen and James Norton

DVD Reviews

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Vol. 1 | 12.09.03
The collected adventures of television's most chaotic trio are upon us. By James Norton

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story | 10.06.05
The mastermind behind the "Family Guy," evidentally dazed from exhaustion, has released a monumental bomb of a DVD. By James Norton

Essays

Aaron Spelling: 1923-2006 | 06.27.06
Guinness Book of World Records' "Most Prolific Producer of Television Drama" dies at 83. By Joey Rubin

Chris Rock at the Oscars | 02.26.05
What one of America's most volatile stand-ups needs to do in order to survive one of his most high-profile gigs. By David Irvin

Gender Killed The TV Star | 03.15.06
In the world of the TV commercial, men drink beer and women dance with vacuums. Always. By Liz Khalil

Jon Stewart at the Oscars | 03.04.06
Will the man change the institution, or will the institution break the man? By David Irvin

Joss Whedon: The Legacy | 03.08.07
Ten years after the debut of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, creator Joss Whedon's mastery of the television medium continues to have a profound ripple effect. By Anthony Letizia

Laugh Track Record | 11.10.05
The sitcom, or reality TV, or the laugh track — one of them is dead and this time it's for real. By Steve Carey

Santino Rice: An Appreciation | 01.19.06
A mostly sincere tribute to the enfant terrible of "Project Runway." By Liz Khalil

Sitcom Sidekick Showdown | 11.02.05
David Silver and Doogie Howser, and this time they're funny! (No, really.) By Cheryl Lowry

State of the Jingle | 06.26.03
Our cultural malaise has a first name, it's N-O. Our cultural malaise has a second name, it's J-I-N-G-L-E-S. By Paul Davidson

The Last Temptation of Clay | 06.14.07
A castigation of the immoral bastards behind that great TV show, Top Chef. Warning: Spoilers ahoy. By James Norton

Those '70s Shows | 04.04.06
If you think they've run out of old TV series to make into lousy movies, you obviously aren't thinking of Samuel L. Jackson. By Bob Cook

Queer Eye for Straight Girls | 10.14.03
Straight girls want five fabulous fairy godmothers to make them over, too. By Claire Zulkey

The Smoking Gun of TV vs. Countdown with Keith Olbermann | 09.04.03
Can the Web's best qualities survive the transition to TV? By Bob Cook

Well Hung | 03.05.04
With his off-key singing and awkward little dance, William Hung became a media phenomenon. You've got to wonder, though, why he tried out for "American Idol" in the first place. By Sarah Lazarovic

Network Reviews

Court TV | 09.04.01
Viewers who aren't tuning in for the irony can feel as if they're watching the American justice system working in real-time. By Alissa Rowinsky

ESPN Classic | 09.04.01
ESPN Classic leaves behind the hogwash; it's nothing but fun. By Andy Stilp

Eternal Word Television | 09.04.01
The shortest route between you and dull, Catholic orthodoxy. By Stephanie Kuenn

National Network, The | 09.04.01
What gives with the former Nashville Network's urban obsession? By James Norton

RTP Portugal | 09.04.01
Living in Portugal is a lot like being in a parade, evidently. A parade through the ruins of Hell. By Julia Lipman

Slovenia 3 | 01.31.02
What is that? An anus? What's it doing on Slovenian television? By Clay Risen

The Travel Channel | 09.04.01
A channel that offers viewers the same brainless relief that its destinations offer their brainless guests. By Andy Ross

The TV Guide Channel | 01.05.05
Any media effort headlined by Joan and Melissa has gotta be some kind of elaborate ruse. By Patrick Quirk

Turner Classic Paranoia | 03.07.02
Turner Classic Movies inexplicably plunges into a 1970s doomsday-trumpeting, world-ending, people-eating frenzy. By Bob Cook

Program Reviews

24 – Episode 1 | 11.07.01
The first in a series of real-time reviews of the Fox's new real-time TV show. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 2 | 11.14.01
Ruminations on split screen, "Nowhere Man" and "Walker Texas Ranger;" meanwhile, episode 2 keeps "24" going strong. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 3 | 11.21.01
Does "24"'s conspiracy lose credulity by casting its web so wide? By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 4 | 11.28.01
Is there a place in "24" for an episode where nothing happens? By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 5 | 12.12.01
After an off week and a week off, the show gets back on track and overhauls all its plot threads. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 6 | 12.19.01
Outrageous events bring up the credulity double-bind: Either these are unbelievable coincidences or the terrorists are unbelievably well-organized. Just what's going on here? By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 7 | 01.09.02
And so the second act begins, showing both how near to and how far from the great conspiracy stories "24" is going to be. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 8 | 01.16.02
The clockwork conspiracy comes undone in this episode, which contains some of the series' best thriller moments. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 9 | 01.23.02
A look back in hindsight at the conspiracy; meanwhile, the episode strikes a more soap-operatic tone, but it fits. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 10 | 02.06.02
The conspiracy and narrative complications broaden and deepen, but the most commendable thing about this episode is its ingenious setpiece. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 11 | 02.13.02
Snap, crackle, pop: The über-conspiracy and the backstory start to come together, and Jack has a totally satisfying encounter with an old friend. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 12 | 02.20.02
Why or why does Fox have to spoil the show's surprises in the coming attractions? By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 13 | 02.27.02
All of the show's minor climaxes have been leading up to this major closing of a chapter … but we still have half the series to go. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 14 | 03.06.02
The second half gets underway, as well as the first part of a longer discussion about the differences between video and film. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 15 | 03.13.02
The show goes "domestic" for an episode and capitalizes on the best kind of suspense: genuine curiosity. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 16 | 03.20.02
Leaping out of a falling car just in time, bugging yourself and getting the bad guy to saying something incriminatory, being stricken with amnesia … it's Cliché Week at "24." But the episode comes together, going to show that it's not the clichés you use, it's what you do with them. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 17 | 03.27.02
As the show pushes into its last third, we get a glimpse of how disappointing it will be if it can't pull itself together. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 18 | 04.03.02
The honeymoon is over. There's no longer a feasible defense for the show's hare-brained developments. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 19 | 04.10.02
You know a show's in bad shape when the episode's promised death is a character whose name you don't even know. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 20 | 04.17.02
The show gets its shine back; meanwhile, the terrorists lay siege to a prison and the Plausibles lay siege to the film and television industry. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 21 | 04.24.02
Character clashes set the stage for "24"'s last three hours, bringing themes like family and fidelity to the fore. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 22 | 05.08.02
We're entering "24's" endgame. But you'd have to be a Grandmaster to be able to tell if, when it comes to finding the right conclusion, the writers are going to win, lose or draw. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 23 | 05.15.02
The Plausibles turn up again, and the second-to-last hour oddly fails to end on a cliffhanger. By Sean Weitner

24 – Episode 24 | 05.22.02
You say you want a resolution? We'd all love to see the plan, but all I can tell you is, brother, you have to wait. By Sean Weitner

24 Season Two Premiere | 10.30.02
If "24's" creators have learned from last season's mistakes — and it seems like they have — the show's second season could be considerably better than its first. By Sean Weitner

24 Season Three | 02.10.04
Midway through its third season, "24" is stalked by the rampant lions of cluelessness. By Sean Weitner

Adult Swim | 09.10.01
The best cartoons on TV aren't for kids. By Andy Ross

A Better, Thinner, Healthier You | 02.12.02
Low-impact exercise equipment is here to save your body and soul. Coincidentally, the Home Shopping Network is here for your wallet. By Bob Cook

Ally McBeal's last show | 05.22.02
Ally McBeal leaves behind a complicated four-part TV legacy. Oh, and loathing. Also loathing. By Karen Lurie

American Inventor | 04.11.06
A show about judging what the world needs with judges that the world doesn't need. By Alissa Rowinsky

America's Next Top Model | 07.03.03
Reality TV finally kicks it up from "overdrive" to "meta." By Andy Ross

America's Next Top Model: Elyse's Dukakis Moment | 07.10.03
One spectacular gaffe transforms the icy hipster of modeling reality TV into an honest-to-goodness lovable geek. By Julia Lipman

Amish in the City | 08.04.04
Though baffled by the sight of an avocado, the Amish kids on UPN's "Amish in the City" are eerily unaffected by their citified housemates. By Jennifer Lind-Westbrook

Andy Richter Controls the Universe | 04.23.02
Finally, the geek militia at Fox has taken complete control. By Claire Zulkey

Apprentice, The | 01.15.04
Other reality shows promise fame and romantic fulfillment; this one promises a job with the man who gave us the Taj Mahal casino. By Joshua Adams

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! | 04.11.07
Adult Swim wades neck deep in the bleeding edge of the bleeding edge. By James Norton

Baadasssss Cinema | 08.29.02
IFC gets down, with dubious results. By Bob Cook

Blind Justice | 03.15.05
Can an interesting premise make a tried formula work? Stay tuned. By Joey Rubin

Bones | 12.18.06
In an era of multiple CSIs, Bones investigates something a little more meaningful. By Anthony Letizia

Britney & Kevin: Chaotic | 05.26.05
The truth comes out: Even Britney's reality is not real. By Taylor Carik.

Buffy: The Musical | 11.08.01
A sweeps stunt so good you actually get swept up in it. By Stephanie Kuenn

The Chair and The Chamber | 01.14.02
The only thing more shocking than the daft concept behind these shows is that people are actually litigating to claim exclusive rights to the concept. By Karen Lurie

Clone High | 02.28.03
If Abe Lincoln was a hopeless sack in high school, you can't feel too badly about never getting past second base until your senior year. By Dakota Loomis

The Crusades: The Crescent & The Cross | 11.07.05
The crusades may have happened long ago, but a new History Channel documentary treats them like they don't still matter today. By Joey Rubin

Damages | 2.14.08
A brilliant, nuanced, novelistic TV show — and it's not HBO. By James Norton.

Da Vinci & The Code He Lived By (& The Package It Came In) | 12.03.05
There's only one reason a TV show would be packaged this well. By Joey Rubin.

"Deadwood" Rides Again | 03.04.05
It's bawdy. It's filthy. It's excellent. It's back. By Rick Paulas.

Dexter| 03.06.07
A neo-drama for moral relativists — but not for the faint of heart. By David Murcko

Drive| 04.24.07
Tim Minear's latest: it's not Angel, it's not Firefly. But then again, it kinda' is. By Anthony Letizia

Recipe for Desperation: "Desperate Housewives" Reconsidered | 12.08.05
If it's the same recipe, why does it taste bad now? By Lizbeth Finn-Arnold.

Ed, the finale | 04.23.03
A briefly-run show goes out — for good, we think — with a graceful bang. By Bob Cook

ER | 04.11.02
Somebody just pull the plug. Please. By Michael Penn

Everwood Season Finale | 05.24.03
Life-threatening brain surgery. Corny voiceovers. A cringe-worthy cliffhanger. The season didn't have to end this way. By Dakota Loomis

Everybody Hates Chris | 09.29.05
In his virgin sitcom venture, it seems nobody hates Chris Rock. By Tamara Watkins.

Everybody Loves Raymond Finale | 05.15.05
Finally, we can stop loving Raymond. The most miserable and accurate depiction of family life on TV goes off the air, kind of. By Bob Cook

Fastlane | 11.04.02
Homer Simpson's moronic cop shows have finally sprung to life in three — or slightly less than three, really — dimensions. By Stephanie Kuenn

Feasting on Asphalt | 07.31.06
Freed from the animatronic hands of Marc Summers and Rachel Ray, Alton Brown's newest offering is delicious — and the food looks good too. By James Norton

Flay, Bobby | 06.17.03
It's not just that Flay is a dick on the Food Network. He's the only dick on the Food Network. By Alissa Rowinsky

For Love or Money | Episode 1 | 06.04.03
It's born-again virgin versus überbitch in a reality TV fight to the finish! By Lindsay Robertson

A Fair and Balanced Vacation | 05.11.04
Fox news takes the integrity of its journalism to new heights — in Aruba! By David Irvin

Freaks and Geeks | 05.11.04
The release of "Freaks and Geeks" on DVD gives viewers a chance to appreciate the show's cinematic qualities. By Bob Cook

The "Friends" Finale | 05.13.04
Flak Magazine bids "Friends" a fond, but somewhat relieved, farewell. By Joshua Adams

Frontier House | 05.13.02
To hell with eating cockroaches. PBS presents the ultimate in TV verité — butter churning. By Michael Penn

Gene Simmons Family Jewels | 10.02.06
This reality show about an ageing rock star turned doting father is... almost refreshingly different. By Sarah D'Andrea

Girlfriends | 01.19.05
Can a show about intelligent women out-sass those who had sex in the city? Stay tuned. By Ceda Xiong

Good Eats | 02.01.05
All the right ingredients for a cooking show that's bound to rise. By Patrick Quirk

TNN's Godfather Ad | 12.04.01
TNN crosses the line between idolizing pop culture and pop culture idolatry. By Sean Weitner

Home Movies | 10.30.01
Brilliant timing and the impact of Squigglevision add up to a show worth watching. By James Norton

Hustle | 10.06.04
Rather than deliver a canned TV movie about Pete Rose, ESPN brought on a director and star who can sympathize with Rose's self-destructive compulsion. By Stephen Himes

Iconoclasts | 11.17.05
What is an "iconclast"? Watch this show and be confused. By Joey Rubin

It Could Happen Tomorrow | 08.15.06
Wondering if it'll rain tomorrow? Don't flip on the Weather Channel. Wondering how the world will end? Try the Weather Channel. By Sarah D'Andrea

Jackson, Michael| Michael Jackson's 30th Anniversary concert | 11.19.01
Michael Jackson's semi-triumphant return was a nostalgic look at a career preserved in amber. By Sara J. Brenneis

Jericho | 09.25.06
The newest primetime "paranoidural" may not be Lost, but nor is it a lost cause. By Eric Ditzian

Joe Millionaire | Episode 1 | 01.08.03
The debut of Fox's nation-gripping reality TV show promises to spin the threads of the first truly postmodern fairy tale. By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 2 | 01.14.03
They scoop manure! They shovel coal! They mutter bitter asides in broken French! By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 3 | 01.21.03
Evan whisks the girls away for a night in Paris. By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 4 | 01.28.03
The bitch goes down. By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 5 | 02.04.03
The Joe Millionaire drinking game, presented for your pleasure and inebriation. By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 6 | 02.11.03
Speculation on the final twist, with odds. By Lindsay Robertson

Joe Millionaire | Episode 7 | 02.18.03
In which we find that last week's explosive anti-climax was, in fact, a two-parter. By Lindsay Robertson

Lackawanna Blues | 02.10.05
Bells, whistles and an infallible goddess can't quite hold together an ambitious new HBO movie. By Chris Hickman

One Particular Dialogue Exchange on the 2006 Season Premiere of Law & Order | 09.25.06
Do you like Sangria? Oy Gevalt. By James Norton

Lost | 09.24.04
Somehow, The Lord of the Flies, Predator and Jurassic Park add up to be more than the sum of their parts. By Joshua Adams

Lost Shoots the Moon | 04.07.06
An exploration of meta-textual self-reflexive television. And acid. By Sean Weitner

Lost vs. Heroes | 01.03.07
Heroes. It's like Lost — but with plot arcs. By Caroline Edmunds

In Defense of Lost | 02.06.07 Finding Lost challenging? Well, that's the point. By Anthony Letizia

Malcolm in the Middle: 2000-2006 | 05.18.06
A show that was a breath of fresh air in its prime reaches a graceful conclusion. By Tamara Watkins

Martha Stewart: Behind Bars | 10.05.05
The print ads may have promised "jailhouse tart baked with apples of shame," but prison drama has never been so bland. By Bob Cook.

Michael Essany Show, The | 03.19.03
Is our plucky host a rising young talent? Or just a loathesome dork? By Bob Cook

Monk | 08.02.02
A classic off-center detective story maps out cable TV's continuing assault on the networks. By Andy Ross

New Scandinavian Cooking | 08.30.05
In his extravagant cooking show, Norway's Andreas Viestad offers many culinary delights. They just don't look very appetizing. By Ceda Xiong

The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour | 04.21.04
We just have to hope for the best when their show is cancelled and those are real half-empty whiskey bottles being hurled. By Stephen Himes

Nirvana's "You Know You're Right" video | 11.05.02
Kurt Cobain has been dug up, reanimated, and subjected to a a routine of insidious, post-mortem puppetry. By James Stegall

North Shore | 06.16.04
A visionary new bid in the race to create the most derivative TV show of all time. By Joshua Adams

The OC Leaves Home | 11.28.06
All high school dramas face the challenge of college — and some of them flunk out. By Sara Mayeux

O'Grady | 08.03.05
This new animated comedy may not be on an "it" network, but it offers more than just empty gags and slapstick. By Geoffrey Golden

Oliver Beene | 03.13.03
Beautiful nerds of the world, unite. Your savior is here, desperate and shambolic, but ready to please. By James Norton

Osbournes, The | 04.25.03
The most unusual thing about "The Osbournes" is how quickly it fell and how hard it crashed. By Ryan Underwood

Parking Wars | 02.27.08
The small-stakes drama of working-class people getting ticketed and towed by other working-class people is actually pretty damned captivating. By James Norton

Passions: The Life and Times of Josh Ryan Evans | 08.16.02
The life and times of the actor behind Timmy, tiny soap opera star. By Stephanie Kuenn

Penn & Teller: Bullshit! | 03.04.04
Pity the poor lambs led to the slaughter; shame on the grifters wielding the knife. By J. Daniel Janzen

Peep Show | 05.21.08
Stark, unfettered emotional brutality in a classic sitcom package. By Michael Noble

Pimp My Ride | 04.15.04
You are what you drive. By J. Daniel Janzen

Pirate Master | 07.06.07
YAAAR, brace yeself for the biggest live-action role playing game ever broadcast on network television... if ye dare! By A.D. Lively

Project Runway Rundown | 10.10.06
On the eve of the finale, a look at the crazies that made the project worth watching — for the third time. By Laura Birek

Quarterlife | 02.28.08
Giving this Web-to-TV dog more than 15 minutes would be overly generous. By Taylor Carik

Raines | 03.19.07
Yet another dude who talks to dead people? Thanks to the acting chops of Jeff Goldblum, your fears are (mostly) unfounded. By James Norton

Random 1 | 11.01.05
Is America ready for a wholesome reality show? Doubtful. By Joey Rubin

Relic Hunter and AbTronic | 01.29.02
What do a flock of disembodied breasts have to do with the future of entertainment? Disturbingly, quite a lot. By Taylor Carik

River Cottage Spring | 06.13.08
In a time when TV schedules are saturated with piss-poor cookery shows and their chefs crying "Love Me!", Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall remains, mercifully, a breath of fresh air. By Neil Fitzgerald

Samurai Jack | 10.15.01
This is one of those occasions where a beautifully styled package actually holds a precious gift. By James Norton

Sandwiches That You Will Like | 08.02.05
If Reality TV was about real life, this would be its tastiest treat. By J. Daniel Janzen

Sandwiches That You Will Like | 08.02.05
If Reality TV was about real life, this would be its tastiest treat. By J. Daniel Janzen

The Sopranos Finale | 06.27.07
After the final Sopranos swan song, two writers celebrate the poetry in — and mock those confused by — the undefined final moment. By David Essex and Matt Hanson