Story filed Friday, 03 February 2012 |
But this one - 'Sailors' by Lise Karlsnes - is rather lovely.
The less said about this one...
...the better. :(
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Story filed Friday, 03 February 2012 |
THE WAIT IS OVER: the video for Adam Lambert’s 'Better Than I Know Myself', which sees a beige dressing-gowned Adam living next door to his irritating leather-jacketed twin, has finally arrived. (Vevo) So raw, so brave.
Get your platform shoes out of storage, it’s 1997 all over again: Geri Halliwell has found some old rope to exchange for money 'revamped' her Union Jack dress into an entire Next collection, which will be available for the world to buy in March. (Daily Mirror)
Demi Lovato has had a photo shoot with Tyler Shield, who captures the 'inner Demi' by having her lick a lollipop and smash some glass. (Daily Mail)
Simon Cowell has offered 'Check On It' hitmaker Beyoncé $500 million to be a judge on the next season of US X Factor. (Herald Sun)
The first review of Lady Gaga’s parents’ restaurant is not exactly glowing, with the starters "like leather" and pasta too "flaccid". (The Sun)
Meanwhile, Katy Perry has 'paid homage' (coincidentally ended up in a simlar scenerio to something out of) Lady Gaga’s 'You And I', by dressing up as a mermaid for the latest GHD campaign. (Yahoo!)
Adele and Bruno Mars are up for some German Echo Awards, and Authentic Chanteuse Lana Del Rey is 'scheduled' to perform. (3 News)
And finally, Hasbro are launching a new Britney Spears dance-version of Twister, which will be promoted with a special 'Till The World Ends Remix'. (Sydney Morning Herald)
THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.
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Story filed Thursday, 02 February 2012 |
'Look we're not being funny right' and it might test the gag reflex of many readers but how amazing would the Brits be if David Guetta - nominated for International Male Solo Artist - turned up and did a massive hits megamix, a Guegamix if you will, featuring all his singing palz?
The answer to that question - which was rhetorical FYI but we'll answer it anyway - is VERY.
You'd be wanting some sort of rotating stage with a variety of set changes, with David spending most of his time in the centre, a bit like a doughnut crossed with a fairground ride or something. You get the idea.
Even if we were just to take stuff from the last year or so we'd have a performance that looks like this:
» We open with Jessie J on the stage with an acoustic guitarist singing the intro to her David Guetta collaboration 'Repeat' . "This is a bit boring," the viewers are thinking. But then obviously it all kicks off and lights flash and dancers come on and David Guetta drives around the stage in a Segway with a mixing desk attached to the front of it and all that old shit. After one chorus of 'Repeat' we go into...
» ...'Sweat' with Snoop. For the Brits performance we'd hope that Guetta would swap out the riff he almost completey nicked off Felix's 'Don't You Want Me?' for the actual 'Don't You Want Me?' riff.
» Then 'Where Dem Girls At' drops in for the Nicki Minaj verse and chorus, with Nicki descending from the ceiling in a bridiculous 'ensemble'. Flo Rida can join in if he's in the country. Minaj could then do a bit of current Guetta single 'Turn Me On', and a chorus of 'Stupid Hoe' if she wants but we'd rather she didn't because that would ruin the purity of the Guegamix.
» You can chuck in a bit of Rihanna's 'Who's That Chick?' but that would literally just be a tiny snatch of it as Rihanna runs across the stage belting out a chorus giving people just enough time to go 'fucking hell is that Rihanna', and before you know it you have...
» ... Usher (or if he's not around a superficially incongruous but actually perfect Brits-friendly performer - let's say Michael Bublé, Seal or someone like that) coming on to do 'Without You', which is one of those unquestionably brilliant songs David Guetta finds himself involved with by accident, much like...
» ...'Titanium', which we are very quickly coming to think of as one of the best singles of all
time. For this Brits performance - the finalé of the Guegamix - we'd be looking for a combo of both the Sia and Mary J Blige versions with both warblers taking to the stage for a bit of a 'moment', except they're not British so that might not be very on message for the Brits so we'd ditch Sia (apols Sia) and have Mary J Blige doing the song with - pause for a moment here because this really would be extremely amazing - ADELE.
» Then David Guetta comes to the front of the stage and has a big wank into a pile of banknotes.
In, out, job done in six minutes. What we're looking for here, readers, is a 2012 version of this noteworthy Children's Royal Variety Performance blowout featuring Yell!, Jason Donovan, Big Fun, Sonia 'et al' with Pete Waterman at the helm.
Do you know why this isn't happening, readers?
Is it because the Brits do not consider dance/pop/whatever music proper music and would rather dedicate eight hours to a Jessie J vs Ed Sheeran singoff boreathon? ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BRITS DOES NOT MAKE SUCH JUDGEMENTS.
It is because it would simply be too amazing. In much the same way that the club was incapable of handling Flo Rida in another of Guetta's hit tunes, so the Brits 2012 would not be able to handle the wall-to-wall amazingness of this hits medley.
It's a health and safety issue more than anything.
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Story filed Thursday, 02 February 2012 |
BET have 'allegedly' banned Nicki Minaj’s 'Stupid Hoe' video from being shown, but refuse to explain why. (TMZ) In further Nicki news, it is well worth checking out her rider demands here.
'Harder To Breathe' hitmaker Adam Levine of Maroon 5 has decided to stop breaking wind in front of Christina Aguilera for the current season of The Voice. (Winnipeg Free Press) What a charmer!
Robbie Williams has posted a photo of himself when he was 14 years old. In the picture he is with a group of four women, and would like to know if one of them is you. (Robbie Williams Official)
In news that has in no way been made up to ingratiate an international singer with the British public, Rihanna apparently can’t get enough of the full English breakfast, with a 'source' claiming she finds it the best cure after a night on the tiles. (The Sun)
In other exciting food news, Katy Perry was recently forced to eat a chicken and she liked it, claiming to have experienced a "chikgasim" as a result. (Twitter)
Authentic Chanteuse Lana Del Rey has been chatting about Britney Spears with Rick Astley. (The List)
If this 'leaked' Madonna set list for the Super Bowl is accurate, we wouldn’t exactly be disappointed. (New York Post)
Katy Perry, Alicia Keys and Coldplay will all be performing at the MusiCares Person Of The Year event, with this year’s event being held in tribute to Paul McCartney. (Ace Showbiz)
And finally, The Wanted are keeping their collaboration aims fairly realistic, with Rihanna, Jessie J and Usher at the top of their list. (Capital FM) Some leftfield choices there lads, well done.
THAT WAS some of THE NEWS.
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