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Email a Friend“Bring” snacks or a drink? Somehow I think the grocery store would feel the same way about that as movie theaters - they’re in the business of selling food/drink - I don’t think they want you bringing your own. And do I do it? YES! In fact, it never occurred to me that there might be a problem with it! Otherwise, why do they keep the coolers right by the front door? I quite often grab a bottle of water and sip it as I shop, and pay for it when I’m checking out. And in their younger days, I would open a box of crackers or cookies for my little ones to munch while they rode in the basket. I’ve handed empty boxes/bottles to the cashier, which she scanned and threw away for me. As long as you remember to pay for it, I don’t see what the problem is, and I don’t see what problem the store would have with it, since the alternative would be leave with unhappy kids, or have screaming kids trailing me through the store. I wonder if this is a regional thing - people here (south east) do it all the time. I know I’m not the only one.
Sip Stealing?
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Just me on Tuesday, July 05, 2011 11:57 AM
If we’re friends on Facebook, perhaps you saw the little post on my profile yesterday that has garnered close to 150 passionate opinions:
Here is a philosophical question I am debating with someone important in my life. If you are shopping in a store and fully intend to purchase a diet coke, is it permissible to open and drink the beverage as you shop, before paying for it. I say “no” - what do you think? We NEED your response!
It seems to me that many of those commenting in favor of drinking (or eating) prior to paying are moms who’ve done it as a survival tactic, and that my friends who aren’t yet parents might change their tune if they found themselves with a cart full of groceries and kids in tow. So I decided to bring the debate here, to ask about this and to find out on a more broad scope how you cope with shopping trips and little ones.
I must also say that my dear husband reminded me last night that we quite frequently purchase coffee on Sunday mornings at our local market and sip it while shopping. So perhaps I too have unwittingly engaged in “sip stealing”. While out shopping yesterday, my mom and I asked two separate cashiers in big box stores their “take” on this and we received two opposite opinions - one said yes, the other said no.
So chime in on the debate, but please also share your “shopping survival tactics”. Do you bring snacks and drinks? Do your kids sit nicely in the cart? Do you leave them at home and see shopping as a “retreat”?
Comments
It’s only stealing if you don’t pay for it. Why on earth wouldn’t it be ok as long as you pay for it before you leave the store!?!
I do try to bring snacks and drinks for the kids but honestly there have been times in the store when I am so thirsty that I will open a bottle of water to drink while shopping and quite frankly the store benefits from it because I shop longer, lol!
I often use grocery shopping as a special treat for one on one time with one of the kids.
Quite honestly, I never thought to do it. Our “coolers” are by the checkout, not the door. I have seen others do it, and was uncomfortable watching them do it, and have never done it myself. I guess I would ask the store if they mind. As for shopping with kids, when I did take my children no, we never did this. It wasn’t like I shopped for hours—I fed them before we left. They could last for an hour or two if necessary. And yes, I have left my groceries, informed the store, and took the tantrum-throwing child home. (He didn’t get to go next time.)
Just out of curiosity why does it make you feel uncomfortable? If someone is eating/drinking out in the open that’s a pretty big indication to me that they intend to pay for it, with the exception of produce and other “bar” type items of course.
I guess I would only call it “stealing” if you didn’t pay….
Many times I have opened a bottle of water while shopping and made sure I paid for it, and I never considered it a problem. In fact, the store we frequent had a place to sit and eat deli food, then take the empty package to the checkstand. They charge us, then toss the bag.
Funny, my veriword is “market”!
When my guys were younger, I would go to McDonalds and let them eat their lunch while I shopped. It was a treat for them and I was able to shop in relative quiet! :D
On another note- I don’t think of it as stealing if you pay for it, but I do have a problem with eating something you can’t pay for, like something sold by weight.
Maybe the most ethical thing to do it to ask the manager. Depending on shoplifting patterns in the store or problems with people inconsiderately leaving crumbs, drops and litter—the answer might vary.
I think sipping a drink while shopping is AOK—as long as you do not
1) litter
2) make any kind of mess with it
And, of course, you must pay for it!
With 100º heat and no air conditioning in my car I might literally pass out if I could not grab water while I grocery shop. We do take our own and we drink it on the way (dehydration is a serious concern). If we took an extra to drink in the store it would be hot by the time we got to the store AND there might be a misunderstanding about whether it has been paid for.
I might be jaded, but I think the very idea that this is wrong is a bit elitist. Sorry for my cynicism, but as I drove around I see VERY few cars with their windows down—an indication of no AC. I have kiddos—we are hot and tired (no AC at home right now either). I am not complaining just stating. And what about people who are walking to the store because they have no car. Remember, the heat index is higher than 100º!
When the temps started to rise here in Texas I did ask the first few times, “Should I pay for this now or may we pay when we check-out?” I was given the same answer by check-out cashiers and managers alike: “It is fine to pay on the way out.”
I have five children and (while I don’t think it is wrong unless you don’t pay at the end) we don’t do this. I always thought of it as a teaching moment for the kids—you don’t eat/drink/use whatever it is without paying for it first. We have brought food and water with us when they were younger (my youngest is five now), and I’ve never thought twice about that! Our store also offers free coffee and little snacks (donut holes or coookies) near one of the doors. One of the reasons my little ones like to go shopping! lol A bigger pet peeve of mine is the folks who eat grapes before buying. I’m not sure if they’re trying to taste test them before buying (hey, maybe I should cut open this watermelon to make sure it’s sweet before I buy it!) or if they’re just hungry. Either way, I’m thinking that’s stealing.
Michele, I also have 5 children, and I always did what you do. Maybe that is because my Mom did it that way also. We never open anything before we paid for it. It still holds true today. A pet peeve I have is when I find open packages of cookies etc. on the shelves. That is definitely stealing.
Eating fruit before it is thoroughly washed is also dangerous!!!
I’ve done this numerous times. Like another person who commented, our drinks are in coolers by the cash register. I or my children will sip if we need to and then add it to the conveyer belt to pay for it. I don’t see it as stealing if you are intending to pay for it. What about people who try the grapes or other produce to see if the in fact want to buy a 1 lb. or 2? I would consider that stealing.
I do it ALL the time!
If it means keeping my blood sugar level at an even keel & thus being able to finish the last leg of shopping in the mega-grocery store that has its own zip code, heck, I’ll crack open a whole lunch plate!
I joyfully give my kids bananas from a bunch in the cart prior to paying, too. When I get up to the register, I say, “My kids ate 2 bananas. Please weigh these 2 [single, whole] bananas twice so that I pay for the ones my kids ate.” Then it’s fun to watch heads explode—some folks can’t grasp the concept I’m trying to explain.
If it’s not kosher, then why do many carts have cupholders and trays built into the handle?
That’s great that you have the cashier weigh the bananas twice so you can pay for the ones you consumed, but I would guess that most people don’t do that- I don’t know how many times I’ve seen women in the produce section feeding their children grapes, without actually putting the bag in their cart to buy! They just pick some and feed them to their kids. That’s stealing!
I have no problem snacking on items as we shop…the deli always gives the kids slices of whatever we’re buying. When my son was on a banana kick we’d pick up a bunch, go pay, then continue to shop for the rest while he could snack on a banana. It actually helped him understand that we have to be able to pay for what we want and if it was sold by weight we had to pay 1st, sold by package we could pay at the end. The cashiers were amazed that we took the bananas to them as we began our trip. We’re well known in the market we frequent so it’s never been a problem. I forgot a $5 coupon one time and the manager gave me credit for it simply with the promise to drop it off the next time we shopped.
That it is even a debate seems a little silly to me. As long as you pay for the drink how could that be stealing? In a restaurant I eat my food before I pay. If I read a magazine while waiting in the checkout line is that stealing? If my daughter is cold in Old Navy so I grab a sweatshirt (fully intending to buy it) and throw it on her in the store is that stealing? (of course we actually DID end up stealing that shirt, but went back IMMEDIATELY and paid for it!! LOL). The only thing I do not do, and it annoys me when other people do it, is take something that is priced by weight (such as grapes) and give it to my kids before we pay. That IS stealing because they will weigh less at checkout.
I admit, I never thought about doing this until I was pregnant with my first child and had awful morning sickness. I needed something (water or crackers) to settle my stomach while I shopped and it never occured to me that it was wrong. I was going to buy them anyway.
Kari - my thoughts exactly. There were several grocery trips in the first trimester of this pregnancy that I would not have made it through unless I opened a drink or some food. I occasionally let the kids have a doughnut, and it’s almost always consumed before we check out. I purposely don’t wipe their sticky faces so that I remember to pay. If we forget, I make sure we go back or pay for the doughnut on the next trip.
My husband is a grocer. It isn’t technically stealing until you walk out the door with a product you have not paid for. People are always sipping on deli drinks while they stand in line. And my husbands store use to have coca-cola drink holders on the shopping carts. So you could enjoy your beverage while you shopped.
I understand why people want to do whats right. So if you feel that its stealing then don’t do it. But, I personally don’t think someone is morally corrupt because they have a sip before they hit the register.
When I saw people doing this before I had kids, I thought to myself, “I’ll NEVER do that.” haha - then the kids came and there went my pride! 
I don’t do this all the time, but I will sometimes get a drink for the littles (or myself) and let them sip through the store. My general rule is this: if you are eating/drinking something that is packaged and priced (ie: with a bar code) then it’s not stealing. You are paying the same price whether you check out with an empty bottle or a full one. I think it is stealing if you do this with something that is priced by weight, like produce. I don’t ever let my kids have a couple grapes off the bunch we are buying. Our store also offers bulk candy/cookies, which I never let the kids have until we have paid since it is priced by weight. It has actually been a great teaching tool for the kids. They learn a lot about personal responsibility, too, because I tell them to make sure that I remember to pay for any extra drinks or snacks we may have opened. I’ve never once forgotten, but I still like to hear that little chorus of “Mom! Don’t forget to pay for that!” when we hit the checkout. Also, I have asked about this at our grocery store and I have found that they have the same views as I do. They are always more than happy to let us snack as long we are paying at the end. Probably because those snacks are usually impulse purchases which means more money for the store.
Sure I do this! Sometimes I’m walking along shopping and get very overwhelmed with thirst, so I bust open a water! If I brought a water from home, I fear that the store would think it’s their merchandise and I’d have no way to prove it’s paid for already. It’s better to have everything in the store be unpaid for merchandise that you then pay for at the checkout. And by the way, stealing has nothing to do with feelings. You may FEEL like it’s stealing and it’s actually NOT stealing—and vice versa. If the store doesn’t consider it stealing, than it’s not.
If it’s not already paid for we don’t open it and start to consume it in the store. While it’s true that you may intend to pay for something, what happens when you get to the checkout lane and discover that your toddler took your wallet out of your purse at home? (It’s happened to me with a cart full of froze foods.) When I see people walking around the store eating food from packages they just picked up off the shelf I often find myself wondering if they’re going to buy it. I’ve seen many opened packages of cookies and things of that nature on the shelves that have been consumed by other customers and left on the shelf when they were done their snack.
For young children I will pack a baggie of cookies, cereal or crackers for a snack in the event that said child begins to feign starvation in the store.
I’m not an “in-store sipper,” so I’ve never really pondered this question, but another drink question has been raised by my husband recently. The question is whether it’s okay to go back and get refills at a food court or fast-food restaurant that has self-serve drink dispensers? (You know, where they give you a cup at the cash register and you go fill it yourself.) Is it implicitly understood that you can go back for free refills, or do you have to pay again?
I don’t want to hijack the conversation thread here, but maybe this is a question for future discussion. It would settle an amiable dispute between my husband and me. 
I would be very interested in people’s opinions of this as well. I have always felt reluctant to take a refill at these stations, but have seen other people refill to their heart’s content.
Really? I always thought it was clear you could get refills at self-serve drink stations. I wouldn’t leave the restaurant, come back, and then refill, but while I’m there, absolutely. In fact, I just thought the general American practice is free refills, unless the menu or the restaurant specifically say otherwise (like if you are served a bottle, not a glass, or if there’s a sign that says “Refills $.25”). But maybe I’m off.
I can remember 2 times that I have done this. Once when I had just been released from the hospital (after surgery or having a baby) and was insanely thirsty so I did drink something while I waited for my prescription to be filled. And a second, more recent time, when my boys and I had been running errands all morning and I wanted to make it through the last place without a melt down, so I let my boys snack on something we were purchasing. I typically wouldn’t make it a habit and only use it in a desperate moment.
I don’t like it, but I’ve done it as a “survival tactic” and will probably do it again if I feel a need. Lately, I have opted instead to go through (or send an older kid through) a checkout line if possible, and kept the receipt handy in a front pocket or something, if I need (ex. pregnant or with unruly 18-month-old = NEED) a sip or snack while I shop. I wouldn’t blame stores if they wanted to post a policy against it; on the other hand, I’ve never seen anyone have a problem.
I once had to have a cashier weigh a banana for my total bill and then explain why I was giving it back to her, because one of my little ones ate one while my hands were full. It was so awkward, but she was a good sport about it. I was grateful for the understanding she offered; I don’t want to presume upon it. I’d definitely be interested in how the store workers experience this kind of thing.
Nicole, this is what I was referring to as my *normal* practice in my post above! 
When I get to the register, I tell the cashier to weigh/ring up the single banana *twice*, to count the one that got eaten.
I never feel the least bit awkward about it—I’m shopping with kids, and because of that banana, they are not climbing the cart, screaming & wailing as I ring out!
It really is funny, though, when the cashier just doesn’t get it & I have to delve into pantomime…
Does anyone think there’s a regional aspect to this? I’m near one of the top 5 biggest cities, on the east coast of USA. Maybe there’s more “big city atty-tood” at play for me than I care to admit!
It is only stealing if you are consuming something that you pay for by weight. I see women feeding children things like grapes and bananas before they pay for them and that IS stealing. Opening a box of crackers or a coke may be a bit tacky and not good manners but it isn’t stealing as long as you present the container to pay for it at the end of your shopping trip. I don’t feed my kids in the food store or myself, the only exception is when I am pregnant and my blood sugar dips and it is either sip a coke or pass out and that is maybe once or twice a pregnancy.
Strong opinions on this one Everyone has differrent lifestyle choices but I don’t think it’s appropriate. My kids are 5, 3, 1 and the fourth is due in a few months. They usually all come with me to the store and I’ve never had a problem with them needing food or drink while shopping. They’re pretty well behaved in the cart if I plan the trip at the right time of day, usually right after breakfast or after nap and snack. Sometimes the grocery store I frequent has fruit samples cut up with toothpicks available and I have no problem letting the kids have a taste of those. They also let the kids have a free cookie from the bakery if the parent allows. But it just seems like very bad manners to treat the grocery store like my personal pantry while I’m shopping even if I am going to pay for it!
I’m beginning to think there is a regional aspect at play here. We live miles from town, so if we are going grocery shopping, it usually follows several other errands (groceries being last so the frozen foods don’t melt). Even if we ate right before we left, it might end up being awhile for a small child. Letting them snack on a box of crackers might make the difference between being able to shop and not. For those of us who are a distance from the store, it’s not really an option to leave the cart there, take the child home and come back later. When my kids were little, we regularly shopped at a store 40 minutes from home - those boxes of crackers saved my sanity (and that of the other shoppers, I’m sure!) I don’t think I ever forgot to pay, so it was win-win for everyone!
I can’t believe this post almost has as many as “open forum”—-weird!
“Everyone has differrent lifestyle choices…”
I had to laugh a bit at this because it seems pretty extreme to call taking a sip of water before you pay for it, “a lifestyle choice”....
It’s interesting because you happen to frequent a grocery store where kids can often have a snack for free and you reasonably conclude that in your circumstances, it would be inappropriate to let your kids open food you were about to purchase. You are very lucky, though, and the circumstances that make it inappropriate in your case don’t hold for everyone. For example, our grocery store _never_ has free samples of anything. Ever. So if my toddler is nearing nap and lunch time and I just have to run in quickly on our way home from the park, I have no problem grabbing a box of animal crackers and letting him eat them while I pick up the groceries. I always, always, always pay for them, and it is definitely not habitual. Still, I wouldn’t need to do this if our store had free samples.
Hi Dianna and Anne! I was really trying to keep this lighthearted, hence the smiley face!! A lifestyle choice is just that, a choice. Our lives are a series of choices for the most part. Some are small, insignificant choices, some are important moral choices. I wasn’t including taking a sip of water before you pay in the “moral lifestyle choice” category, but it is still a lifestyle choice. I’m definitely not calling people bad for doing it or judging them. I would never make a comment to anyone I saw doing it or gossip about it. The only reason I’m saying anything here is, well, we were asked to give our opinion on the matter. I just think it’s bad manners, like stopping by someones home without calling first or starting to eat your meal before everyone else has been seated at the table, etc.. Everyone has different standards when it comes to manners and what they think is important, though. I’m sure I violate others opinions on what contstitutes “good” manners in many other situations. So, live and let live I guess, if the grocery store doesn’t have a problem with it and it works for your lifestyle, do it
our store has self serve produce scales, that print out price labels right in the produce section. the first thing I do when entering the store is to get bananas and clementines, weigh them, put the sticker on the bag, and proceed to dole them put to the two littles not old enough to go on the store playroom. I have often had the cashier ring up an empty bag with a price label on it upon checkout. no one ever thought this was a problem, and I think it keeps the peace while I shop, it certainly isn’t stealing if I plan to pay for it.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with it- as long as you pay for said item. I have a special needs child- which means running errands tends to be challenging; especially the grocery store. However, I have no choice but to go grocery shopping. I normally try to bring a snack and drink with me but sometimes I forget b/c I am only human. If letting my child open a package of crackers means I manage to way lay a melt-down then I am going to do it. I am sure the other customers appreciate it too!
Also, to address the question of “shopping survival technique”......I have four kids 6, 5, 3, and 15months and I survive by shopping at night after bedtime and leave them at home. I don’t take them with me to the store unless it is absolutely necessary. Otherwise I cannot concentrate, even if I have a list, and end up with food I don’t want and without food that I need. That’s just me though.
Never. I have always taken my many children, of all ages, to the store with me. They’ve been told they can have ‘it’ in the car. They usually liked to hold ‘it’ and put ‘it’ up to be paid for…but never have they been allowed to eat/drink in the grocery store. I think it is a terrible example. (even when you intend to pay for it)
I don’t do this often, especially now that my children are mostly older, but I don’t think it is a problem, as long as you pay for the item. I have had a few times where the alternative to drinking or eating something prior to paying would have been to call the ambulance and then watch as my daughter would have collapsed in front of me. My daughter’s blood sugar had dropped so low even after comsuming what we had with us that there was no time to pay before drinking.
I’ve already done this, with bottled water and most recently with Tecnu, a poison ivy wash. I had jst finished working at the rectory garden and had groceries to get on the way home. Instead of fainting in aisle three I sipped my way along and paid for my water along with my groceries.
The nice folks at my local Agway opened their restroom for me to apply the Tecn before I even paid for it, as I was already developing blisters from poison ivy contact. (This was all the same morning - that rectory yard’s loaded with danger!)
If you haven’t paid for it yet, then it’s not yours yet. So in my opinion, it would be stealing to use/drink/eat it before you pay for it. I never let my kids eat something before we pay for it. I’ve always done this, and they know now that they can hold it but never open it before we pay for it. I’ve never brought my own food to the store, either. I guess I always worried that the manager or someone would think that we took it off a shelf and started eating it, then of course would wonder when we didn’t pay. Unless of course you’re having low-blood-sugar issues or some other kind of health issue, what kind of society are we living in where we JUST CAN’T WAIT to open and eat something? Will it kill us to wait five minutes and eat it in the car?
To add to my comment above… if you say it’s OK to eat or drink something before you pay for it, would you also think it’s OK to sleep in a house you bought a few days before the closing because, hey, you already are in contract and you’re going to live there anyway? Or what about engaged couples who think, my fiance and I are going to get married anyway, so what’s the big deal if we have sex before the wedding?
Fornication is a sin against a sacramental covenant—an entirely different matter and really has NOTHING to do with this discussion. I am honestly shocked that you would compare sipping water or eating animal crackers while waiting for the butcher to bring the meat to the counter with fornication.
And actually, yes, I would sleep in a house I was in contract to buy IF the seller agreed to it. This happens all the time when apartments change hands. As long as both parties agree, it’s fine. But back to grocery stores—I think Kori’s comment about restaurants is worth considering. You eat before you pay, and it’s not stealing unless you leave without paying. Most grocery stores are fine with eating while shopping, so there’s no need to call it stealing as long as the items are fully paid for before you leave the store.
So you don’t ever go to a restaurant with your children? Or you only go to counter service restaurants? Otherwise, yeah, you eat things before you pay for them.
I used to work at a grocery store and it was officially okay for people to do that. There was even a sign by the front coolers that said you could, just put the empty container on the belt with the rest of your groceries and we’ll scan it and throw it away.
No big deal. Lots of moms did it with their kids. Cashiers have seen crazier things, trust me. hahaha.
enjoying this post… I did this just the other day- my 1 year old was screaming and pointing to the goldfish and raisins in the cart so I hooked her up so I could enjoy the rest of my shopping experience in peace. I’ve also been known to enjoy my cold diet coke from the cooler as I shop too. Our grocery store has a fountain drink section in the deli at the beginning of the grocery store- not sure what else this would be meant for except to shop and sip =)
Someone mentioned a cart with cupholders on it? Where is this? I’m thrilled to have the “car” carts for my kiddos.
If you think about it, when you dine out you are ordering and eating your meal before you pay. If you leave before paying then it you are considered: running out on the bill and the wait staff pay out of their own pocket. Only at fast food joints or out door food stands do you typically pay for your meal before hand. I would say that if you are buying something at the grocery store that you pay by how much it weighs (like grapes, loose nuts, or various fruits, etc) then you would be in the wrong to eat it before paying as it will weigh less by the time you get to the cashier. If however, you are buying something that is not priced by weight but by item, make sure you have money with you to buy it after it is consume (I’ve found myself at the check-out stand without a wallet and it was pretty embarrassing, more so it I had eaten something before buying). This also may be a demographic question. I live in California in a well to do county. I see people regularly eating or drinking before buying. If I lived in a poorer neighborhood the store might have issues with me eating before paying.
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