I am a Catholic mom of two and my husband is a fairly new convert to Catholicism following many years of searching.  He is finally ‘home’ as he puts it and is very comfortable about his decision. He was raised in a strict offshoot of Pentecostalism and left as an early teen after years of questioning with no answers. My husbands family taught my husband and his sister that Catholics go to hell because of their beliefs. They are very very misguided, misinformed and close minded. Needless to say we do still get together and we do expose our children to them at all the holidays. We invite them with open arms to baptisms and other Catholic ceremonies our children have experienced. Sometimes they come and just sit, which is great that they do that much. Though because we invite them to our traditions they invite us to their traditions, send us pamphlets and other ‘repent and save your soul’ type of materials. We just smile, thank them and set them aside. We very very rarely discuss anything religious. We explain in a very neutral tone, without being critical or judgmental the differences in our religions with our children. They ask questions as to why grandma and grandpa and aunty think we are strange and wrong and why they don’t participate in things with us and we simply say that they do not understand the religion as we do. His mother and father have expressed that they feel like failures with raising him (my husband) because of his conversion. He simply tells them that they should feel proud and comfortable with his decision. He finally has a relationship with God (which he never had in their religion) and has never felt more in touch with his faith. He explains that is what every parent should want from their child. It can be a touchy matter when holidays come up and families want to attend religious ceremonies together. But we just try to be polite, but firm about being Catholic and our beliefs and ask for their respect because we are adults and we are raising our children the way we feel is right. My sympathy goes out to this family, it can be a very difficult issue at times.

The truth is, it is a slap in the face. The other truth is, so what. A wise person taught me, we take from our parents the good things they gave us, we build on them and inherit new, we discard the ugly. Grandma has a problem , making it your own is not healthy and disrespectful to Christ. That’s the simple reality. Now for the acrobats of a solution. Basically differencing in faith base is a matter of respect. Demanding (expecting) respect and giving respect. Living in the dignity of our faith while embracing the confusion of others. Trying to keep it simple goes like this… If your tradition is to remove your shoes upon entering the home, I ,a guest, would never infringe on your home, I would remove my shoes. Keeping the reality of our faith as a HOME we expect to be honored by others, keeps it simple, keeps emotions out of the way. Finally, you can agree without agreeing. “I know you see it that way grandma, I am sad about how you see it.” but do not change a thing. Kindness is allowing her to move from despair, fear, resentment, anger without participating, love her anyway.

I am very fortunate in that my Jewish in-laws are very loving and giving, even though they disapprove of Christians in general. I agree with the advice to make it clear that religious arguments are off the table, respectfully but firmly. I would encourage the mother in question to step away from such discussions, since it can be too emotional, and leave her husband to deal with them. It may be that Grandma will never accept her daughter’s conversion, but that is her problem. Christ Himself told us He came to bring not peace, but a sword, to set child against parent, and this is what He meant. It can be painful, and I will continue to pray for Christian unity, but there is nothing this daughter can do other than to pray, to remain loving toward her mother, and to not allow her mother’s attitude to poison her family life.

Loving & respectful are the keys to keeping personal relationships “calm”. Regardless of our particular denominational style, we, as Christians, can and should recognize our common beliefs. I belong to a multi-denominational covenant community, mostly Catholic, but we each respect each others way of faith. Mostly we have to learn to “speak” the others faith language, and celebrate our common understandings. Jesus is still the way, the truth and the life for all of us. So many times the misunderstandings are because we are ignorant of the others understanding and vice-versa

My extended family has very different beliefs and values than we do, so I’m grateful for this article, discussion and suggestions.

I converted to Catholicism in 2002.  I was not yet engaged to my wonderful, Catholic, husband.  I came from a Christian denomination and was very active in my church and ministry.  When I became a Catholic, I lost friends and have had countless heated discussions with family.  As I struggled with how to communicate my love for the Catholic faith and I was reminded of all the lies I had previously believed about the church and how many times I spread those lies around.  I then began to challenge my family based on their own faith.  “Thou shalt not lie.  Thou shalt not bear false witness.”  Confronting them, in a loving way, about the lies they believe about the Catholic faith.  When I did this, I needed to know the truth about the Catholic faith myself and know it fully.  I also used the bible to witness the Catholic faith to them.  Starting with Matthew 26, The institution of the Eucharist.  Non Catholic Christians believe the bible is the ONLY infallible word of God.  Yet, most denominations do not do what Christ commands.  This usually leads to a discussion about the interpretation and an opening for the institution of the papacy.
Above all, be patient and loving.  The Catholic faith can look very strange to an outsider.  Especially a day like today.  Have you seen the statue of St. Lucy?  Her eyeballs are on a plate!  (my failed attempt to bring humor into this). 
I will keep you in my prayers.

The very first post outlined the exact methodology we have used for twenty years now, since my conversion in 1992. And eight kids later, i can tell you it WORKS. It works because love always wins. Yes, there have been altercations (mostly between myself and my parents), and yes, sometimes my parents still mourn that we are not Methodist like them. We directly tell our kids, “Honor means you are not to pick a fight, EVER, not even if you feel they “deserve” it. They do not deserve to be treated that way ever.”

So far so good. We don’t live in the same region of the country, so distance probably helps. But above all, love wins all hearts, and it makes me really happy to know that my parents can feel that love, and clearly enjoy their grandchildren, despite their (now minor, though early on it was MAJOR) disappointment that I didn’t just become a nice quiet Episcopalian with a volvo and two kids in the suburbs somewhere…

It is quite possible that the mother in law is a firm believer of anti-catholicism. It is due to wrong understanding or ignorance about the Catholic Church. The main arguments against Catholic Church are Idioltry, intersession of Mary and saints and the transubstantiation of bread and wine into Body and Blood of Christ. These misunderstandings can be cleared if the party is willing to listen.If the mother in law"s daughter is a firm believer in Catholicism, she can clear all the misunderstandings of her mother.  The help of a knowledgeable priest or lay man also can help.