My favorite site for car seat info: http://www.car-seat.org/ You can search the forums or ask a question. Many/most of the members are CPST’s.

And yes, as long as all 3 seats are properly installed, it should be safe to have them all in a row.

I wouldn’t think it would pose any problem if they are properly installed. They shouldn’t move in that case. We have three kids in seats in the back of our Saturn VUE - one booster, one convertible booster with a back, and an infant carrier in the middle. It’s crammed, but the vehicle is paid for and that’s the way it is for now. The biggest danger is one of the older children messing with the baby.

We did have the seats checked out locally by an organization that does that. All were properly installed. The only reminder was to make sure the boosters are buckled in even if the older children are not in the seats. Without weight in them or a belt holding them in place, they could be dangerous during a crash.

We have been very happy with our 8 passenger Toyota Sienna…no, it’s not one of the “bus” types, just 8 pass., but roomy enough for us. In fact, our current one is over 100,000, and my husband is beginning to think about getting a new one. He looked at many other vehicles, and is back to the Sienna—again.

We have an 8 passenger Chevy Venture, and LOVE it.  We have six kids, and with two in car seats and two in booster seats, we still fit.  We put the 13 year old in the way back middle, with the 6 year old in a booster on one side of her, and the 4 year old in a high back booster on the other side of her.  On the middle seat is the 8 year old in the middle, with the two year old in a car seat on one side, and the 1 year old in a car seat on the other side.  The van gets about 20mph around town, and 25+ on the high way.  We bought ours used (it’s a 2005, and we purchased in 2007).  I don’t think they made them after 2006, so you would have to buy used, but I promise, it’s awesome.

We have 5 children, but have often had 6 as passengers….and many times, my husband or I have ridden in the back seats (I road the entire 5 hour trip last summer in the back seat, along with two of my sons.) At the beginning (8 years ago) we did have one or two car seats so no, we haven’t tried it with multiple across—but you could try it out and see. And I will admit, our family is not “large” in terms of size. I do have 4 teens, 3 of them boys, but my 6 footer is a toothpick, and the 5 ft. 8 in 160 lb son usually drives. It might not be the best for you, but it might be worth a look to see.

I would really check the carseat issue before ever considering a Sienna. We have a 2010 8 passenger one and we have two in carseat (rear facing newborn and a harnessed 5 yr old) and there is only one way we could even get two seats was in the middle row which means anyone in the back seat has to crawl over those seats. And we had to slide the middle seats all the way back so the rear facing infant seat didn’t touch the front seat etc. We almost never have the 8th seat (middle middle) in because that’s the only way anyone can seat in the back seat and have a bit of foot room. I wonder if the older Sienna are different sized/shaped seats or just more room overall. We could get the infant seat in the way back but I didn’t want that and that required the seat in front of it up so far that no one could use it anyway. Now we have 2 littler ones and then larger adults using the van so maybe a lot of little ones would be better but I would not know how you could get more than 4 in the back in you had booster or car seats. Maybe if you look for the skinniest car seats too. Our models are larger ones (Safety 1st Onboard Air 35 and Britax Frontier) Our state requires their use until at least 8.

You don’t say how old your baby is, or how long you have to drive to church.  If your baby is more than a few months old, you should be able to nurse him before you leave and get through Mass (again, assuming you aren’t driving 45 minutes to get there or something).  My kids were squirmers when they were infants, and too curious when they were older babies, to successfully nurse in public very often.  If it is difficult for you to soothe him wihtout nursing (obviously very common for nursing mothers) maybe your husband should be one of those dads in the cry chapel:)

My second was like that so we just nursed right before we left and hoped he’d sleep in his car seat for most of Mass. Occasionally we’d hide out in the confessional and nurse if he got really fussy.

Have you tried using a nursing cover - the ones that have a tie to hold it on around your neck? It’s easier to have two hands free to help the baby be comfy. And they usually have space between the neck and the fabric so that you can look down at baby and he can look back at you.

Can you get to a confessional?  Our parish now locks the doors, but our last parish didn’t and it was the best place ever to nurse!  I could hear the mass perfectly and had complete privacy.

I agree with the others that nursing before Mass is ideal. However, I see no reason to be embarrassed to bring your boppy to church. When my babies were really young I bought it everywhere! I hadn’t ever thought of using a confessional to nurse—good idea. Another option is to sit in the back pew to limit the people getting a “view.” I don’t think it would be out of line, though, to mention your problem to someone in the church office to see if they can accommodate you somehow. You shouldn’t have to hide out in your car!

I always nursed with a nursing cover in the pew with my family (we usually sit in the front row) when the babies weren’t to young to make it through without nursing. None of my babies ever took a bottle so that was never an option for us and we don’t use pacifiers so for the itty bitty babes a nursing cover was how we did it. I never had a baby attached to the boppy but I don’t see a problem in bringing it if you need to. Can you try and nurse in different positions at home to break the baby of thinking he/she needs the boppy to nurse well? Also I found that if I put the baby in a wrap (we used the moby) he would fall asleep peacefully if the request for nursing was just for pacification not hunger, so our little guys spent a lot of time in the Moby while out and about as well as at Mass.  Good luck, i will pray you find a solution that works and that you are comfortable with! God bless!

For the first few months of nursing I would just bring my boppy with us in the car and nurse there right before church was to start. I found that much easier than dealing with a squirmy baby nursing in church.

I second the suggestion of the Moby (or similar) wrap, my little guy snuggles right to sleep in there.

I could never nurse my second daughter in a public place. Right when my milk would let down, she would pull away, milk squirting everywhere ... then she’d smile (loving every minute of it) and THEN make loud PIG noises. It never got any better. I was glad she was having such a good time ... BUT ... Funny, she did just fine at home. At least I laugh about it now. Good luck to you.

I always nursed my kids in public, no cover or anything as I knew I could do it modestly (usually people just think baby is sleeping); I think a lot of the success has to do with your own comfort level (if you are nervous, baby will pick up on it).  Maybe nursing at home now and then without the boppy would help get him used to being without it at church. 
Also, you don’t say how old your baby is, but at some point they can do okay waiting a bit to nurse, especially when they are at a distractable age and you can interest them in something else.

My six year old daughter is still bathing with her two year old brother. They love the playtime together and they both share the same bedtime so it’s what works for me. She doesn’t seem to mind so neither do I. When my older ones started to ask to bathe alone, (somewhere for my son, between 6 & 7) then I went with it. I remember hearing a child psychologist talking at a lecture about the right time for children to stop seeing parents naked, etc and he said that when one of them feels uncomfortable, then it’s time to cover up. That’s always been my gauge and has worked for us. My oldest daughter was a little later and still bathed with her sister, until age 9 but both were girls so I think that’s why it didn’t phase her.

I love my Bjorns for precisely that reason.  They are comfortable, look nice, and usually have good traction on the bottom.

I bought these a couple years ago.  They are very comfy and warm (yep, even for here in MN) but my feet never got hot shopping in them or anything.  They also have good tread and support.  They are pricey though.  There are also other styles with laces, zippers, etc.

http://www.schulershoes.com/Womens-Toe-Warmers-Active-P1405.aspx

Oh, my dear, I was in your shoes back when I had my four babies, who are now ages 17-24. I think we all struggle with self-esteem issues when staying at home with children. As a matter of fact, I am still home with my last teenager and STILL have these thoughts crop up from time to time. I also had a college degree that was unused while I stayed home with babies. If it helps you any, now that I have hindsight on the situation, I am VERY glad that I made the sacrifice. I now see what a short time our kids are really small and need us so much. I would say the thing that will help you the most is somehow making connections with other moms in your situation. Good luck!

When I first stayed home, I would ask myself that very question. I found myself crying my way around the neighborhood on my many stroller-pushing walks. As I unloaded the dishwasher, I would ask myself, “Is this my life?” That said, those moments were transient. I found ways to be stimulated with my chosen job of staying home and mothering. Especially as the kids got older. We started homeschooling, etc. As time went on, I started to pick up work here and there to remind myself that people want to pay me for my talents/skills (because, for me, that mattered and I’m a creative person). Then out of necessity, I committed to working part-time from home (and now recently an offsite office space), and I feel like I have the best of both worlds. (We did stop homeschooling, which was a hard choice, but a good one.) My point? You’re not alone. And you’re not a bad mom to feel that way. Remember you are valuable to your children. The thing that kept me going was this fact ... that you will never, ever, ever get that time back with the kids. So if you can be there to witness it, do it. If you need to work, embrace that, too. And if you can find a way to do both ... all the better.

Well, I do not have a masters degree, but I did quit a good job 20 years ago to stay home with my kids.  I have no regrets. 
I know that if I was looking for child care for my child, I would sure like them to be cared for by a woman who has several MAster’s degrees- but I don;t think even the highest quality child care offers that.
In my case, I was making good money before I quit, but a lot of that money would have had to go for child care, meals out, nicer clothes, etc.  Also, some of my kids have had medical problems such that it really would not have been practical to have them cared for by anyone but me. But with the value of benefits and the retirement plan I would have had, it still may have cost as much as 1 million dollars ( in retirement) to have me stay home with the kids.  But a million dollars for what?
Also, I will be honest, I hated my job. So it wasn;t that hard to quit.  What is hardest is the fact that our society does not respect the work of stay at home moms the way it respects a prestigious occupation.
I did lose my skills, but I have been able to keep my brain active,  I read alot, and homeschool my kids.
You may like to check out blog called bearingblog.  The mom who writes that is a stay at home mom with a masters in chemical engineering.
Also, a bible verse I have found comforting, it’s from Epiphany. “And entering the house, they found the child with his mother”.

I was a SAHM mom fulltime until my youngest was 4.  My kids were sick alot when they were little so there was no way I could have worked.  I wanted to be a SAHM but I never realized how much I loved my work and how much I found God’s presence there.  I will encourage my daughter to find a profession she loves.  I suffered from a very severe PPD and it was not until later than I realized working is also an integral part of staying healthy for me.  I love time with my kids and I love time apart as so do they.  I am refreshed and more present to them when I have had a break.

Maybe staying at home full time is a season for you.  As your kids get older you may find it easier to work outside of the home or find something you can do at home.  As a mom who works part time I feel like it gives me so much more to offer my kids.  I am a much better mom than if I were home full time.  I respect that we are all made differently with unique personalities and needs.  It is important that we each know ourselves and our families well enough to know what is best.  What is best is going to look very different for all of us.  I do not have to work for economic reasons.  We can manage on one income.  However, after years of living on one income it is very helpful to have another paycheck coming in.  It eases the weariness my husband feels as being bread winner and may help us in the future with college and retirement. I never pictured myself in a marriage where the husband works full time until retirement and I stayed at home full time until retirement.  Working is a burden and I think it should be shared.  As women we do alot with homemaking and community but I think we can do that and still work depending on the ages of our kids.  It also gives us something to fall back on if my husband gets laid off which is always a real possibility.  I could pick up more hours if needed.

I am a very strong believer that a woman should have a marketable skill.  It does not mean she has to use it all the time.  But life always brings the unexpected and it helps to be prepared for it.

We were very fortunate to have amazing babysitters thur church that my kids loved.  The kids had so much fun with them and did a million games of capture the flag and other things that I don’t tend to do.  I like the idea of my kids being around and learning from other people.  I would not trade my early years of being home full time for anything.  There is no way I could have gone to work!!  Now I’m thrilled to have the best of both worlds and I find my work a ministry and something very important to society.  I never felt though as a SAHM that my work was not valued.  I very much felt valued.  I have many friends that are home full time that have older kids that commit to alot of work in their schools and community.  That is great.

Your presence in the home to your kids is very valuable, and raising kids requires a lot of intelligence and creativity, so I don’t see how your brain could turn to mush.  Losing your career skills could happen, though, depending on your profession.  Like another poster said, there is no one-size-fits all solution.  It will definitely look different for every family.  It might involve a combination of being home for a few years, working part-time for a few years, etc.  For me, if money were no object, I would stay home fulltime forever (of course having some outlets outside the home).  But we need my part-time income, so we make it work as best as we can.  I’m thankful that I’m able to spend as much time as I can with my family and also contribute significantly to our finances.

I’ve been home for 16 years now and am now finally ready to work outside the house.  My youngest is in fourth grade and I have a good network of family, neighbors and friends to help out if I get stuck at the office or in traffic.  My older children are in middle school and high school.  It took a long time for me to get to this place where I feel comfortable being away from the house during the day.  I don’t regret the years I stayed home.  I made a lot of friends, established roots in our community and was able to be there for my mother and sister when tragedy struck our family.  I think my children benefited from my presence in the early years.
It sounds like you are conflicted and that is fine.  Why not dip your toe back into the work force?  Can you find a part time job after the baby comes?  My sister went back to work full time and has two young children.  She loves working and for her mental health, she needs to work. 
Being a full time working mother does not make you less valuable or essential to your children.

Praying for your son. It’s so hard when they aren’t well and you can’t pin down the problem and treat it.

Oh thank you a million, Carolyn!  My prayers promised for your intentions.  God bless, Josie

We’ve been down the path of having a child in serious pain that baffled the docs.  And I remember one doc telling me the 2 hardest things were seeing your child in pain and not knowing what is causing the pain - sometimes we’re hit with a double and it’s really hard.  My prayers are definitely going up for you today.  I know this sounds weird, but my dd used to complain of shooting pain in her eyes when she was younger.  My dh said it happens to him when he’s dehydrated.  Both tell me it’s quite painful - I’d never heard of that happening to anyone before so thought I’d at least pass it on.  Don’t know if this related or coincidence but my dd who used to get the eye pain is my only child who gets migraines now.

Check with the diocese about the young adult group. I was in it in the early 90’s and ejoyed it. I’m sure it is still going.

We live in a lower income/higher crime rate area. Really though, no matter where I lived I would be outside with my youngest children, let middle age kids play outside in a fenced back yard or right in the front yard where I could see them, and keep my teenage child even closer because I know what went on at the neighbor’s house when I was a child and my parents thought I was safe there. As for the playing outside question, we have regular stray dogs (pit bulls), lots of foot traffic of people walking to the bus stop and stores, and the street gets pretty busy with cars driving too fast and not watching for kids playing on sidewalks and streets. It’s just a fact of where we live. If I lived on a cul-de-sac, I would love to let the kids ride their bikes all afternoon long! It’s just not safe where we live though.

So sorry for your loss! I know the pain of miscarriage well. The fact that you conceived is reason to hope! Hang in there.

Oh, I’m so sorry.  We didn’t marry young, but we didn’t think we’d face any fertility issues either… and then months and months and months went by with no baby.  We finally did go to the Pope Paul VI Institute and did conceive, but miscarried that first baby.  It is so hard, that not knowing if you will ever manage to carry a baby to term!  We did later conceive a baby girl (now 5), miscarried again (that was hard too, but not as hard as that first one with no other children with us), and then had a boy and are expecting our third in a few weeks.  I was just talking to another woman who had prayed for us before we had our first baby; she had lost her first as well and was told they had about a 10% chance of ever having a baby - but she had four!  I know another family who never did conceive, but they have four adopted children now.  And, of course, there’s Arwen, with her infertility blog, who just got through this past year with twins besides her other two.   
Anyway, I can’t make any promises for you one way or the other, but I do recommend checking out PPVI Institute if you haven’t already.  It helps to just have some direction, and not feel like you’re on such a roller coaster with no idea what’s going on with your body and why it isn’t working. 
And I’m so sorry for your loss, though I have no way to make that better.  Hugs and prayers for you!

I was just telling my son about Tebow yesterday.  I made the important distinction that we shouldn’t think that God is interceding for him and making him win.  Tebow even has said he never prays to win, just to do his best.  God doesn’t take sides in ball games!  However, what we should admire and emulate about Tebow is his brave witness to his faith.  He publicly thanks God.  So it’s not the winning that’s important (I don’t think religious players win more than secular athletes) but it’s his witness that’s important.