Just a quick bit of advice about purses.  If you have a long shoulder strapped purse, as i do, you can feed the purse through the strap, which is around the handle bar of the shopping cart.  Short of cutting the strap, I can walk several feet away (still in eye sight) and not worry about someone quickly snatching it up.  I hope that makes sense, and that this advice helps one or two more people.

As far as trust, it really depends on where I am.  A fabric store?  I am more worried about someone running off with a bolt of wanted fabric in my cart than with my purse!;-)

Like most things, it’s all about balance.  When I take my son to the playground and don’t feel like dragging my pocketbook around, I hide it in the car.  My mother, who had her pocketbook stolen in an unsuspecting place years ago, would think that even that is too risky.  The hassle of dealing with a stolen purse is enough to motivate me to take reasonable precautions, but I also refuse to live my life in fear. 

Today at the park, I took my son to the maze that he loves.  We were the only ones in there till another mother arrived with her toddler (probably around 18 months) and her baby.  While she was getting the baby out of the stroller, she sent her toddler into the maze.  He started following my son and me around.  I was a little taken aback that she would just send him in like that, and then when he latched onto us, I was paranoid that she would think I was trying to steal him.  It was just a very awkward situation.  On the one hand, I’m glad that she thought I was harmless enough.  And it wasn’t likely that anything would have happened.  But still, you never know who might be lurking around in maze.  I personally keep my son right near me when we’re in there.  And my son is probably a year older than hers.

And I once left my wallet sitting in the cup holder at the movie theater, remembered it, went back to grab it, and it had been stolen while I was gone, obviously by the family with kids sitting next to us.  (No one else had time, it was a fairly empty theater.)  And they used my credit card before I got home.  In general, I believe that people are honest, but there are those out there that really ruin it for the rest of us.

I am trusting to a fault but rarely realize it until later.  I think my biggest “what were you thinking!” was when ds was 2 weeks old. I went to Target and locked my keys in the car. I called AAA and they came very quickly but they were having trouble and it was over 100 degrees there in the parking lot. Two women with children in an SUV drove up and offered for me to sit in the A/C while we waited (my car was far from the store itself). I declined as I was helping the locksmith but asked them to hold the baby. So I gave my two week old baby to two women in a running car. Of course, they were just two nice ladies who were helping out another mom in distress but it hit me a few hours later, “What if they weren’t?”
Still, it isn’t in my nature to automatically distrust people. Sure, my spidey-sense goes off sometimes and I listen but I like to believe that MOST people are good and honest.
I’m not the only trusting one around here. A man stopped to change my tire for me and lent me his truck (big ole diesel dualie :D) to take my groceries home. Yes, he was a neighbor (lives about 1/2 a mile from me) but we don’t know each other at all.

When I was 14 I was mugged at a Burger King in Times Square.  We went to a Broadway play for a school trip.  We were told not to leave the vacinity of the theatre, so we did what stupid 14 year old girls do and did just that.  Granted it was only a block.  But the worst thing about the experience was that we couldn’t tell anyone because we weren’t supposed to be there.  This was back in the early 80s when NYC was really dangerous.  However, I learned from that experience never to leave your purse exposed.  I made it through college in NYC, numerous trips to Europe (especially Rome), worked in the city for a decade and never had another mugging experience.

I tend to focus on the good in the world and think the best of people and am naive.

However, I would never pick up a hitch hiker or sell something on Craig’s list and have a stranger come to my home with my kids and know I am alone there during the day,

I leave my car unlocked at night and have even left my van door open overnight—not viewable from the road and once because we spilled garbage in the car. Both times the police were at my door—once at 3AM with flashlights in my yard.  (This is a quiet,  low crime town)  Ok, Ok I know I need to close my doors, still did not lock them—yesterday I read in the paper that thieves were just caught stealing things from cars around the corner.  Me—I had left credit cards and a GPS unlocked and had to go check to make sure they were still there!!  I need to smarten up.  Same thing with my home- I leave it unlocked all the time—back sliding glass door open—recently had a major neighborhood scare—too long to tell the details and realized I can not do that either and this is small town USA!!

I think if you lose or get your purse stolen once you are very cautious.

and an umbrella is a lot easier to replace than your purse…

I dropped my wallet getting onto a bus in a large city known for its crime problem.  A week later, it was mailed back to me—gift cards, credit cards, ID—all intact.  No return address, so I couldn’t even write a thank you note!  There are good people everywhere, but common sense is never out of place.

I’ve left so much stuff laying around in our little town since we moved here. and I have never had anything stolen. These people are God fearing….every last one of them:D

We’ve had purses stolen in church during communion. Our priest asked us not to leave them in the pews, and they announced it for several weeks in the bulletin. Still, people leave their purses in the pews. Are they trying to send a message? I left mine at home, I don’t want to lock it in the car because cars have gotten broken into. At church!! I don’t want to live in fear either, trying to teach my kids to trust others. What a whacky world we live in

I have a friend who used to tease me because I would lock the doors when my little ones all are inside with me—-*Top Locks* too, so the toddlers can’t get out.  Then, when I leave to run errands, I would NOT lock the empty house.  Thought that was weird.  I always felt that they were my treasure and didn’t want anything to happen to them.

He said it was the right thing not to lead others into temptation, so I lock my house now.  Additionally, because one of our neighbors came home to her unlocked house, and there was a burglar still inside.  She was fine, but it still gave me pause.

I think it really depends where you live.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten my wallet in the buggy at Target, in the midst of loading bags, kids, buckling said kids…and, went back a few minutes later to find it either still sitting there, or at the customer service desk.  Or, have left my credit card sitting on that little table thing where you pay at the grocery store (again, loading all those groceries amidst 3 kids, ages 5 and under, is enough to make me forget myself!), and then call *days* later, and the card is waiting for me at customer service.  Now, if we lived in a metropolis type city, I think it would be a different story.  I think people like to play around with statistics as well.  The actual rate of having your purse stolen may be high (I have no idea what the actual statistic is), but that doesn’t mean that it’s likely going to happen to you if you live in a safe town.  I’m guessing those statistics come more from larger cities where people actually do the research.

I depends on where you live. I’m in a city and I would never leave my purse unattended. The ladies in the fabric store might not bother my purse but their gangsta grandchildren sure would. We have a lot of street people and a massive drug problem in my area and “petty” crime is rampant.

I wish I could be that trusting.  I’ve a used backpack stolen from a hotel laundry room, even though I had hidden it.  While we took our infant son to a movie, someone smashed in our car window, looking for a GPS device, because we had left the holder attached to the windshield (the GPS was not in the car).  They even went so far as to rifle through our diaper bag looking for it.  I made me feel sad that someone would break into a car with car seats in it.  That said, I spend a semester in Europe and never had any problems, though more folks were paranoid about trouble there than at home.

I’d like to be more trusting myself, but it’s difficult.  Ironically, I’ve had my umbrella taken and never returned during Mass and someone stole my co-workers purse at our diocesan office when she was away from her desk for a meeting. Both are places I would think would be safe to leave such things, but you never know.

The 11th station was recently stolen from a parish near me—what’s up with that? And I try not to bring my purse into mass because I think it looks tacky carrying it to communion so I won’t do that, I usually leave it in the pew. My mom always brings hers up—she never used to until a few years ago. But now I see at least half the women at mass bringing theirs. The stolen-out-of-the-pew incidents give me pause, though.

Most people are honest, and most people could leave their purse in their cart every single time for their entire life and never have it stolen.  But if you should happen to be, once, in the vicinity of a dishonest person, then you would be in the unfortunate minority.  So to minimize risk, keep your purse with you.

I also agree that we should not be guilty of tempting others.  That teenager who is thinking about shoplifting only needs an easy victory to encourage additional exploits.  Not having an easy target might mean they get past this period in their life and never have serious sin.

In answer to your question of “If they grow up being constantly told that every stranger is out to get them, what will they learn about human nature?”, I can tell you that it makes you afraid to go anywhere. My mother, who was great in some ways, was unfortunately a racist and drilled it into our heads not to go into the city or use public transportation because *she*  was afraid to do so. It made us scared to travel anywhere, even to a different state, even though we did not share her racist views.  Once I grew up enough to realize she was wrong, I now love to travel and do so (I think) smartly.

I never leave my personal belongings anywhere away from me unless they are locked away- I used to be a high school teacher and many students can’t resist that temptation, so I am still in the habit.

My purse was stolen (along with 2 others) at a choir concert one evening at my church when I was a teenager.  I’m now one of those that always takes my purse to Communion.

I am pretty lax when it comes to protecting my things, but I definitely err on the side of overprotection when it comes to my kids!

My great grandmother used to say “Keep honest people honest”.  Basically, those intent on theft are willing to go through some effort to steal, but a small deterrent (ie: locking your car when you go into a shop) will keep an otherwise honest person from engaging in opportunistic crimes.  It always seemed a good way of looking at the world.

I appreciate your post Arwen. I think we all agree that it’s good to be sensibly cautious with important things. But so many people are paranoid. And what does that teach others, like our children. It is important to know when to trust others and not act like everyone is out to get us.