Your search for "red shirting" returned the following 1901 results:
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[+] Tell me what you're wearing so I can guess your favorite TV show. 34 replies
- A red sox shirt and grey sweatpants from the Gap....
- dark wash distressed jeans, gray long sleeved v-neck cotton shirt with "frayed" hemlines and gathered a little at the base of...
- ITA! I'm the red sox shirt. My favorite show is Project Runway. Bet she'd...
- I'm drinking red wine. It's good for the blood right? :)...
Talk : : December 10, 2011
Tell me what you're wearing so I can guess your favorite TV show.
34 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.10.11, 09:05 PM Flag ]-
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You shouldn't make these posts if you're not even going to try to answer...
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:05 PM FlagITA! I'm the red sox shirt. My favorite show is Project Runway. Bet she'd never have seen that one coming. :) (It used to be Damages before it left cable.)
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:18 PM FlagSorry! Right after I posted this my nose started bleeding and I had to deal with it. I'm back now.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:54 PM Flag-
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flower pj bottoms from parents, DH's favorite soft t-shirt, I stole it!
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:33 AM Flagpurple pj bottoms and a strappy black tank. Give it a shot! hair is in a ponytail and no bra yet. sag city.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:04 AM Flag
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[+] tell me what you're wearing and i'll guess where you live and what you do for a livin... 181 replies
- straight leg cords, burgundy riding boots, and short-sleave red v-neck top...
- DH's white T shirt and his white gym shorts....
- cotton shirt dress with jeans underneath, sigerson morrison boots....
- Black theory pants, black uniqlo shirt, black lands-end-canvas sweater, mephisto shoes....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
tell me what you're wearing and i'll guess where you live and what you do for a living...
181 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 11:39 AM Flag ]-
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black turtleneck sweater (isaac mizrahi for target), black pants, socks.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:40 AM Flag-
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old navy flannel pj pants and tory burch sweater, laying in bed.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:41 AM Flagblack pants, black ferragammo flats, silk tank, black cashmere sweater
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:42 AM Flag-
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Green floral print sheath dress (nipped in at the waist), gray tights, flats.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:46 AM Flag-
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Black pants, hot pink shell, black cardigan, black patent heels. Not in NYC.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:48 AM Flag-
Not even close. Are you guessing completely at random? I've literally never met anyone from there.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:26 PM Flag
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Glen plaid trousers (grey), teal twinset, black suede Oxfords, moonstone and sterling teardrop earrings, simple black Armitron watch.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:52 AM Flagblack Jones NY knit dress w/flowy shawl-looking sleeves that make it look like it's a sleeveless dress and long sweater, but actually just one piece, black sheer hose, black leather boots w/ 2 inch+ heal + matching earring and pendant set (yellow + white diamonds)
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:52 AM FlagNavy tights, colorful vintage skirt, sliver flats, navy sweater set.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:58 AM Flag-
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black jeans, navy henley over white tank top, lined crocs (yes, I know they're ugly but some days it's either crocs or just wear shoeboxes...)
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:11 PM Flag-
The only shoes I seem to be able to wear are Merrells and Crocs (I have medical issues in my ankles and knees -- arthritis, tendonitis, bursitis and heel spurs -- and wear ankle and knee supports) but if you can suggest something else to try I would love you! Here are my requirements: The shoes need to have open backs. And they need to be wide, both in the front and to accommodate ankle supports. And have no heel at all. And have rubber or crepe soles. And be sturdy with good support. I do not know why but the crocs hit me 'just right' and I can stand and walk in them without a problem -- I have tried expensive orthopedic shoes and they don't feel as comfortable as my ugly rubber crocs. The Merrells look better, of course, but I sure wouldn't mind finding something that works with my physical issues and looks a little better.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:46 PM Flag
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This one is a giveaway: orange jumpsuit & baseball cap and sneakers.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:27 PM Flag-
Hey, how's it going? Things are OK. What does the above poster have against my baseball cap - it covers my unwashed hair and provides a place for my ponytail, bands being considered contraband, you know?
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:29 PM FlagNah, ignore the haters. Glad to hear from you. I still remember your plan to swim to safety during Irene.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:55 PM FlagOh, you're nice to remember. Well, I'm afraid that my glimpse of freedom this past Sunday was even shorter. I won't tell you how I arrived in Central Park, but a 5K run was underway, and I persuaded the staff that I was there as a volunteer to sweep up the paper cups and so on. A few minutes later, with a safety vest covering my number, I was edging toward Fifth Avenue. Alas, I paused for just a second to look into a window on Madison - some very nice shoes, by the way - when one of the CO's had my arm in a death grip and was gently steering me to the car at the curb.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:12 PM Flag
Just want to add that I thoroughly approve of this inmate sub-plot. Keep it going, ladies.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:08 PM Flag
black leather crotchless panties, black leather bra, studded over the knee boots, tattoos.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:31 PM FlagNavy Uniqlo J+ skirt and with black cardigan and black j crew cowl neck long sleeve T, black tights, brown/gray Dries Van Noten mary janes
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:10 PM FlagAnthropologie t-shirt (3yrs old) and denim skinny jeans by citizens that are 4+ yrs old and therefore threadbare at the upper thigh (been patched once already, seriously someone help me, I love these jeans but cannot find skinny denim jeans without gross amounts of stretch anywhere).
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:12 PM Flag-
Tan chinos, burgundy button down with thin white check, brown driving shoes.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:17 PM Flag-
blue pant suit, cobblestone silk blouse, grey 2 1/2 inch pumps
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 03:00 PM Flag-
Black trousers, navy vintage reproduction blouse w/ cream tank underneath. Black cashmere scarf at neck.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 03:17 PM FlagLucky jeans, gray and black striped shirt, grey j-crew cardigan
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 03:45 PM Flag-
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jeans, black v-neck cashmere sweater, cowboy boots (off-black goatskin with blue/green stiching)
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:30 PM Flaggray skinny jeans. - long sleeved black t shirt. pink striped sock that were hidden under booties while at work...
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:48 PM Flagblack logo'd fleece, white button down with patches on the sleeves, coldgear technical undershirts and undershorts, tactical cargo pants with sheers and a mag light, steel toed boots and wool socks. female.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:50 PM Flag-
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Theory leggings, Vince tank, Splendid vneck long sleeve, Theory sweater, Asics running shoes, Comptoir Des Cottoniers puffer.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 10:44 AM Flag
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[+] What do you think of a woman who wears designer everything from head to toe? 46 replies
- op: Just to put things in perspective, this is her outfit today: diamond studs, theory shirt, 3 hermes bangles, 1 bottega braclet, chanel heels, yves handbag, chanel coat. And she told us what each item was....
- You can wear "designer everything" and not have it shout at you (i.e. no Gs, LVs, red soles, H belts etc.). I have no problem with it in theory, but I think what you are referring to...
Talk : : December 06, 2011
What do you think of a woman who wears designer everything from head to toe?
46 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.06.11, 02:11 PM Flag ]-
op: we are having this conversation in the office right now. Half of us think it is ok, but really overdone, other half think she is wealthy so why not? If you are wealthy, how do you dress?
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:17 PM Flagi dress very simply. i just started wearing scarves recently and it feels like too much. if i am wearing a designer item you would never know it unless you cared a lot about designer clothing. lots of target. right now i'm wearing a t-shirt from j crew with my husband's cardigan over it. black leggings.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:41 PM Flag-
I am wealthy and I wear designer head to toe. I probably shop a lot less than most women I know. I purchase about one item a month and it's usually expensive, but I have items in my closet that date back to college. You wouldn't think I am ostentatious unless you checked the labels and were aware of the designer. I'm not in LV, head to toe.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:55 PM Flag
Insecure. Desperately needs the approval of others. Has no imagination.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:20 PM Flagop: Just to put things in perspective, this is her outfit today: diamond studs, theory shirt, 3 hermes bangles, 1 bottega braclet, chanel heels, yves handbag, chanel coat. And she told us what each item was.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:23 PM Flag-
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isn't that the truth? after more than half of the Real Housewives have turned up financially troubled I'm convinced more than ever that the crowd financing their lives through credit cards go the most over the top on the bling
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:32 PM FlagHey, they don't hire those women to be tasteful and refined. Even the ones with real money wear revoltingly over the top things. I'm thinking of Lisa and her whomping and gross diamond watch and Adrienne and her strippertastic shoes and tacky jewelry. The only one on that show with taste, IMO, is Camille.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:35 PM Flag
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i have a friend who owns multiple restaurants and works like crazy and she goes shopping twice a year at Bergdorf to power shop and get everything done. I guess everything is designer but she shops there because she knows that they will have clothes she likes and time is more important to her than saving money. I dont think she buys clothes to "show-off"
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:25 PM FlagYou can wear "designer everything" and not have it shout at you (i.e. no Gs, LVs, red soles, H belts etc.). I have no problem with it in theory, but I think what you are referring to is a certain trashy, new money look where the woman is loaded down with labels and insignias. Imo, very tacky.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 02:25 PM Flag-
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[+] What do I ask when I'm interviewing a babysitter? We've always had family or friends... 8 replies
- OP I happen to have a spare red burka. Do you think I should bring it up in the interview or wait until the first day on the job?...
- Not unless she's Muslim. I was thinking more in terms of khakis or jeans, with a colorful hoodie or rugby-type shirt (orange or stripes, you know, something visible in the park), that you can put your number and instructions on with a...
Talk : : December 01, 2011
What do I ask when I'm interviewing a babysitter? We've always had family or friends of family watching DC (age 4) so I have no idea. Obviously, references and get a sense of the person, but what else?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.01.11, 01:53 PM Flag ]Seriously, google. Lots of sites have detailed lists just for this purpose! Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 02:00 PM FlagOP Thanks. I genuinely hadn't thought of that. I found one, is there anything that's key here or that might be missing? Lookinf for someone to pick up DC from school 2 days a week and put them to bed. http://childcare.about.com/od/occasionalcare/a/sitterquestions.htm
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 02:14 PM Flag
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No, no, nothing fancy or weird. Just something comfortable and long-wearing, and which will let you pick her out of a crowd and have space for your phone number to allow for anonymous calls if anyone seeks her giving DC nuts or taking him/her McDonalds.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 02:51 PM FlagOP I happen to have a spare red burka. Do you think I should bring it up in the interview or wait until the first day on the job?
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 03:30 PM FlagNot unless she's Muslim. I was thinking more in terms of khakis or jeans, with a colorful hoodie or rugby-type shirt (orange or stripes, you know, something visible in the park), that you can put your number and instructions on with a sharpie. No point wasting money on silkscreen.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 04:13 PM Flag
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You know, about once a week there's an UB post saying "OMG I just saw the most horrible caregiver in the playground!" Well, it would certainly be useful to have the mom's cellphone number visible and be able to call and let her know what you're observing. I'm just saying.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 04:55 AM Flag
[+] Our wardrobe has gone decidedly downhill for kindergarten interviews. Can dh wear a s... 14 replies
- who will be a PITA once at the school and I have to think that refusing to dress up for an interview is a huge red flag. Once you are in by the way, you can wear whatever you want....
- circumstances. It didn't seem to matter. dc got into our fc. fwiw, i don't think a sport coat over a nice shirt and jeans w real shoes (no sneakers) looks like he couldn't be bothered. jeans and a tee shirt and sneakers might though!...
Talk : : December 01, 2011
Our wardrobe has gone decidedly downhill for kindergarten interviews. Can dh wear a sport coat and jeans?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.01.11, 05:48 AM Flag ]It depends. schools have two dress codes. If you are rich and famous, sport coat and jeans is more than fine -- jeans and a t-shirt is fine. If you are not, dh should dress nicer although it will not much matter since most spots go to rich, famous, and connected.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:01 AM Flag-
I'm not sure what I would do. I am doing interviews for high schools and I see the parents come in wearing their Wall St. finery. Or Mr. Wall St. and Mrs. Sahm with her Chanel bag. My dh owns his own business and I have a job I love at a start up. We wear what for us are normal work clothes, including jeans. We look presentable and nice, but we don't look like we work on Wall St. nor do we look like we're dressing up in big girl clothes. We have gotten a lot of positive feedback from Admissions people, some of whom have actually mentioned our clothes. Be yourself!
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:12 AM FlagI would say no unless it's a very hip downtown school, e.g. LREI, where it might be OK. Anywhere traditional (and even most uptown progressives), I think they would take it as a sign that you don't take the school seriously enough to make an effort for it. They really don't care whether it's Ann Taylor Loft or Chanel, but it's like going to a wedding or funeral. Certain attire is expected unless specifically stated otherwise. And for interviews, I'd say the minimum expected is slacks and a decent sweater or shirt. They are looking for any sign of someone who will be a PITA once at the school and I have to think that refusing to dress up for an interview is a huge red flag. Once you are in by the way, you can wear whatever you want.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:46 AM FlagITA. I think you can get away with more casual attire at some of the progressive downtown schools, though you should still look put-together. Otherwise, I'd at least wear slacks and a nice sweater or blouse. I wore Ann Taylor pieces to most of my tours and interviews (though I did try to dress them up with nice jewelry or other accessories).
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:53 AM Flag
I once wore a t-shirt and shorts to a playdate. Everyone thought I was a nanny. I was clueless about the whole private school world. Nobody told me there'd be a Q&A for the parents while the kids do a playdate. That school did not snub me at all and were very interested in us & dc. Anyway, I wore a sweater and wool pants from Banana Republic and dc got into a few so called TTs, so I guess it doesn't matter all that much what you wear.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 09:36 AM FlagAt all but the most traditional of schools, it's likely fine. I had a baby in the middle of interview season last year. While I had planned ahead and bout an appropriate simple black maternity dress for before, I had totally forgotten about "after". I ended up doing the rest of the interviews in an empire waist sweater dress and flat black boots - I looked pretty casual - and it was not something I would ever have worn to interviews under normal circumstances. It didn't seem to matter. dc got into our fc. fwiw, i don't think a sport coat over a nice shirt and jeans w real shoes (no sneakers) looks like he couldn't be bothered. jeans and a tee shirt and sneakers might though!
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 09:48 AM Flag
[+] I'm the mom whose two year old "bombed" her playdate yesterday. The more I think abou... 48 replies
- not in your situation. But I can't help but feel, If you think the people at the school are so unaware of kids as to be unable to distinguish between your daughter and the red shirted mouth breather...
Talk : : November 29, 2011
I'm the mom whose two year old "bombed" her playdate yesterday. The more I think about it it makes me mad. She's still just a baby. Who are people to judge her, myself included? I hate this process. She cannot compete against red-shirted kids who are six months older than she is and can talk up a storm. How am I to know which school is the "right fit" for her at this young age?
48 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.29.11, 06:21 AM Flag ]honey, really, it'll be okay. she'll be awesome at the next one, i promise.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:24 AM FlagMy definition of "awesome" is different than a DOA's. She's my baby. Is she gifted and talented? At this point I would say, No, or I don't know.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:26 AM Flagi'm a multi time veteran of this process. i promise, they're not looking for gifted and talented kids. they're looking for nice families who wont be difficult, sweet and kind children who dont appear to present as high needs. that's it. i swear. i'm sure she is lovely (for goodness sake, who isnt at that age?) and i am sure she will end up somewhere that you are happy with. it really will work out.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:28 AM FlagOP: but what about the chatty, outgoing and brilliant kids she is competing against? They have nice parents too (better looking too).
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:29 AM FlagNo teacher wants a classroom full of outgoing, chatty kids. They want some shy ones too.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:34 AM Flagplease try as hard as you can to not think of this as a competition. Think of it as a search. you are searching for a place that feels right for you. the schools are searching for families and children that fit. there isnt a winning out come and a bunch of other losing ones. there is only fit. i know it may not feel that way right now, but that really is what's happening. and if you can change the way you are thinking about things, it will all work out better in the end. i swear.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:35 AM Flaghonestly - you have to get more cocky -- internally i mean. I tell myself and I truly believe it, that my kids are fantastic and if the school sees that great and if they don't, they are missing out on a great kid. Do i go around talking like this? No, but to myself, I genuinely believe this (as i expect all parents do...). This is not to say i tell myself my kid is the most 'gifted' just the best -- that full of love feeling i have as a parent. no matter how crazy it gets here....they cannot tell me anything about my kids that will make me see them as any less amazing than i think they are. As it should be.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 11:51 AM Flag
First, you have no idea if she really bombed the playdate. Unless they told you that, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that something went horribly wrong. Second, you can opt out of this craziness. Everything you wrote makes sense...in now way shape or form should a 2 year old be competing. You are the one that buys into that framework, so you have to let it go. Lastly, whether or not she gets into a nursery school will do little to determine the quality of her future life and educational outcomes. I write all this as a Mom who is doing 11 apps for nursery school. We're giving it our best shot but refuse to let it make us crazy. I just don't believe it is the be all end all for a child this age. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:26 AM Flag-
You are playing the short game. The short game is for suckers. Focus on the long game. Do you read to your daughter? Does she have a real relationship with her father? How's the quality of her day-to-day care? What's your home like? Full of stress, or mellow and loving? These are the things that matter in the long run.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 07:20 AM FlagI know. We have our issues as a family but we are very loving and providing a good home. DH is very, very involved with the kids, sees them every day, is home at a reasonable time and loves them, as do I. We are both FT WOHM. We have a great nanny. People remark at how loving our children are with one another, openly hugging and saying "I love you" and being so excited to see each other. We also have a loving extended family. We're very lucky to have what we have and be what we are. All of this is true. Not to mention we have two pretty good lookin' kids if I may say so myself! ;)
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 07:47 AM Flag
Hate to say this OR but if you applied to 11 preks you are crazy and you are already there.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:30 AM FlagNope, it is a supply/demand issue downtown, plus downtown just lost meaningful # of spaces with the closing of Children's Aid. Already 0/5 in lottery process, so hopefully one of the six remaining will work-out. If not, we'll go onto Plan B.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:41 AM Flagoh please. I live downtown too. Never would I subject a 2 yo to 11 playdates.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:57 PM Flagsorry 6 playdates. It looks like you just applied anywhere and everywhere if you did 11. Seriously it's just nursery school. You can always do fcfs and then do public - oh and people do get into public. Everyone I know got in to one close to their home even if they had no zone.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:59 PM FlagWhy so grumpy about the choice we made? I'm not letting it make me crazy, I'm just doing the work I think that needs to be done given our goals. I'm glad you're happy with how you've decided to do things. That we've chosen to approach the same goal differently does not mean anything about either of us. Peace out!
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 02:28 PM Flag
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I am not saying this to flame and we had many reasons for moving to the suburbs, but I truly cannot imagine going through this process with my kids. And paying for the privilege in the end. Sorry that it's sucked for you, but just keep in mind that your daughter isn't the wiser!
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:37 AM FlagDD was at a poor preschool and we applied to one of the best preschools in the City. We are not diverse, basic jobs and make barely enough to pay for school. At the playdate DD would not talk because she was so shy. Not a word. I was distraught after. Thought we blew our only chance. She got in. You never know.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:51 AM FlagI am so glad you came to this conclusion. I wrote as a comment last night that your post makes me sad. It made me sad because I don't think people should put so much pressure on such young children and parents shouldn't feel bad when their children act like children. I think it is a blessing in disguise that we won't be able to afford some fancy private school. Seriously, it can't matter that much what preschool your kid goes to. Its not dooming them for life. There was a recent study that all early education effects are evened out by the age of 7.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:52 AM FlagI am with you to a point. You lost me when you start talking about other kids being more advanced b/c they are red-shirted. That may be true in some cases, but you need to accept that other kids will be smarter, more athletic, better looking, more artistic and more successful than yours without looking for excuses. Don't burden your dc with your own insecurities and expectations.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 06:56 AM FlagBut don't you think the DOA knows this? These people know kids. They recognize the age difference between your child and an older one. They don't want all red-shirted older kids, and take that into account. I'm a preschool teacher. Not in NYC, so I can't speak to the exact admissions process. But we interview kids before admission (similar to your play dates), and are fully aware that sometimes 2 year olds act like 2 year olds! Depending on the competition it might hurt your chance of admission, but the admissions committee is not a bunch of robots. They love and know children.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 07:21 AM FlagWe live in the midwest. I have a 1st grade dd who I think is wonderful - smart, academically gifted, but more importantly, kind and funny and unassuming. A few days ago we were in another city and she went up to another first grader in a cafe and introduced herself. He proceeded to tell her how smart he was and quiz her on math problems until she got one wrong, then laughed at her. She wasn't particularly bothered by it, but I talked to her about how much more important a person's character is than how smart they are. Perhaps you could bear this in mind for your dd. Do you want to be teaching her to compete against her little friends at this age? Do you want her to feel like when she's introduced to people she has to somehow assert or make clear her skills and intelligence? Sounds liek a recipe for a bunch of arrogant, entitled, obnoxious brats to me.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 07:36 AM FlagOP, YOU are the problem. There is no such thing as "bombing" a playdate if you are 2. The fact that you believe the preschool is judging your child based on some obvious intelligence they have is just clueless. The fact that you think your dd is "competing" against "chatty and brilliant" kids (as if schools choose the most brilliant) is so wrong. I suspect you aspire for your dd to get into a preschool you consider "tt", even if it isn't.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 08:35 AM FlagAnd so what? Fair or not, the "right" preschool opens doors for kids later on if they're staying in NYC. I happen to think it's ridiculous, but it's not as if it's not true.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 10:48 AM FlagIt only "opens" doors if 1. your kid won't get in on her own merits and 2. you want to go to the places where it "opens doors". Why in the world would you want to send your kid to a school that chooses kids based on whether they attended a so-called "tt preschool"? Can't think of a more insipid recommendation for a school.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 11:14 AM Flag
Let's not be ridiculous. This is preschool. Even if she did not do well at this particular playdate (and you may be the judge of that - in our case we were pretty right on when we went through the process last year. Our DD got into the schools where we felt she "did well" - whatever that means - and was "wait-listed" in the places where we felt she did not do so well) she will do well at others. Remember that this process is as stressful as you make it. Most preschools in NYC are equivalent in my opinion. The parents are those who project all their desires and insecurities on this process. Just step back and realize that this is not that important.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:00 AM FlagLook, my DD was 22, 23 mos during these interviews and I just HAD to have this attitude and so do you: She is going to do what she's going to do. If it keeps her from getting into the school, so be it. You can try again next year. These people should be professionals and able to see through 2yo behavior anyway but if they can't that's fine. Your first loyalty is to your child: whatever she does at this age is OK. P.S. In the end my DD did fine on two of her playdates after all and got into both of those schools. Don't forget the element that something the school is doing in how it runs these playdates may be affecting your DD and not letting her be her best.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:00 AM Flagmy ds bombed his preschool playdate 7 years ago. I put him in a FCFS program, he had no problem getting into K and he's now a 5th grader in a SS school and doing wonderfully. And yes, he was (and is) one of the "young" kids considering all the redshirting. it will be OK!!
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:05 AM FlagFirst, I am not in your situation. But I can't help but feel, If you think the people at the school are so unaware of kids as to be unable to distinguish between your daughter and the red shirted mouth breather... do you really want them educating your child?
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:07 AM FlagYou have to remember that the teachers/admissions people know how a 2.5 yo behaves and how a 3 yo behaves. They are not comparing one against the other. My dc happens to be older but missed the cut-off for an older class so is the . They know that when school starts next September your 2.5 yo will be able to handle herself with all of the 3-3.5 yo's. This is not their first time doing this.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:22 AM Flaglol my kid did nothing. most kids get waitlisted. If you do just keep calling the school and if they have an opening you'll get a spot - maybe not the morning but in somewhere. Mine was only 1.5 on her playdate and shy. So silly and right fit is a bunch of bs to me. It's nursery school.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:26 AM FlagHow did she "bomb"the playdate - did she bite another child? - throw feces around? - speak in tongues? get a grip please.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 09:54 AM Flag-
[+] Can we play that game where someone names a place and we describe what the people the... 92 replies
- Red Sox everything...
- I remember white guys in khakis, rugby shirts and overly bent baseball hats. And all the white women are blonde....
Talk : : November 20, 2011
[+] I am spiraling into depression because I feel like my dd (early June b-day and very s... 27 replies
- Could you red shirt?...
Talk : : November 13, 2011
I am spiraling into depression because I feel like my dd (early June b-day and very shy) has no shot at any tt or second tier privates and I don't like any of the less competitive schools we visited and don't feel like having her prepare for the OLSAT - feels like it's too much pressure for her. We applied to 9 schools. Don't feel like moving and just generally hating life right now. How screwed up is this? Really. I can't even believe that I would have such a strong emotional reaction to something happening to dd at 4 years of age, and it's not even something bad. I am screwed up. I know, but I blame the system too for putting parents through such a crazy/one-sided power game - particularly the unfair nature of the process against summer birthdays and shy kids.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.13.11, 08:17 PM Flag ]my husband and i have never fought so damn much as a result of this insane process. it is placing a ridiculous amount of strain on each of us to just attend all of the events, not to mention what you are talking about - the fear of a 'shut-out'. We will survive it, but with our sanity and marriages intact? Not sure about that....
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:21 PM FlagDon't blame the system, blame yourself for reacting to the system like you are. You expect to fail so you will. And the thing is, you have made this all about you, not your dd's education. Stop that. Do what's best for your dd, not what is best for you and what you think is the only way you will be accepted socially. What is best for your dd?
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:22 PM FlagYou're "spiraling into depression" over this? Is your child deathly ill? Have you lost your home? Do you not have food to eat, shoes to wear, or clothing? Really...you're worried that your child will not get into private school. The concept of private education alone indicates a certain level of privilege that many can only dream of. Get over yourself and drink a dose of reality. Go sponsor a starving kid in Africa... or visit certain parts of your own city.
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:24 PM FlagI am more irritated by how much the schools expect of the parents and kids in this process. Everyone knows the reality is you have to apply to at least 8 to apply broadly if you don't want to get shut out. Do schools realize just how ridiculous the whole system is?
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:27 PM FlagSo stop! You can't blame the schools for the way you're freaking out. You can only blame you. Either drop out of the race that makes you so unhappy or learn to play the game. Or just apply and see what happens without making this the most important thing in your life. You have been to kindergarten before. Maybe it's time to grow up.
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:31 PM Flag
The OLSAT is one 40 minute test. Most kids don't know it's a test. There is no pressure.
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:25 PM FlagI hear you. Admissions seems very important and, to some degree, it is out of your control. But you have to try to keep it together, be positive, and look at options. DD might be fine at the schools you don't like. Maybe gen ed could work for her. And G&T might be worth a shot. If you really are losing it, get help.
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:36 PM FlagIt's really stressful. Don't you think that she might get into 1 out of 9? I think it's too late to apply to more schools anyway, so you've done what you can. Now take a deep breath and get some recommendations, work your psd. I guarantee in September your child will be happy somewhere.
[ Reply | More ]11.13.11, 08:39 PM Flag-
[+] Stupid question -- can somebody run down the colors of the various school uniforms fo... 18 replies
- Sacred Heart has those god awful red/white aprons...
- NBS has a navy jumper and a blue plaid jumper (summer option, I think); MM has pale blue jumpers; Brearley has navy jumpers with red piping; Spence has a green/navy/red/yellow plaid jumper with buttons; Hewitt's plaid is the same as Spence's (but oriented the other direction), but...ours is -- khakis (skinny cords from land's end) and polo shirts, with skort or jumper options for girls who prefer dresses....
Talk : : November 09, 2011
Stupid question -- can somebody run down the colors of the various school uniforms for me? I see kids running around in uniforms, but I dont know where they're from. All I know is Chapin is green skirts.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.09.11, 05:12 AM Flag ]NBS has a navy jumper and a blue plaid jumper (summer option, I think); MM has pale blue jumpers; Brearley has navy jumpers with red piping; Spence has a green/navy/red/yellow plaid jumper with buttons; Hewitt's plaid is the same as Spence's (but oriented the other direction), but jumper has buttons; Birch has pink jumpers
[ Reply | More ]11.09.11, 05:46 AM Flag-
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[+] Fashion moms: I need both wear to work and out after dresses and cocktail dresses. An... 16 replies
- the jcrew 'teddy' dress will work in both arenas, steven allen has a great silk shirt dress on sale, the outlet has a lot of half sleeve fitted dresses...
- Hm, red hair, should I go camel or black? What kind of shoes could I wear with camel? With black I have a variety of heels and...
Talk : : November 04, 2011
Fashion moms: I need both wear to work and out after dresses and cocktail dresses. Any suggestions? Can spend $300 on a few dress, but other than that mostly $100. No boobs, great slim body. No red.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.04.11, 05:07 PM Flag ]the jcrew 'teddy' dress will work in both arenas, steven allen has a great silk shirt dress on sale, the outlet has a lot of half sleeve fitted dresses
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:10 PM FlagI was thinking about that Teddy dress. Is it in green? Can I do green? Can I get it if I'm under 30?
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:12 PM FlagNo, it's in camel, black, and red. I have it in black and camel...I get a ton of wear out of it. I did have to tailor it to get it to look like the image on the website, but that was $30 per dress and I've seriously worn each 5 times in the past few months and I always get "that's such a PERFECT dress" comments.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:15 PM FlagHm, red hair, should I go camel or black? What kind of shoes could I wear with camel? With black I have a variety of heels and heeled boots in black and gray.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:18 PM FlagYou could do either, the camel isn't yellow at all. Grey with black, black with black, black with camel. I switch it up a lot. I'll do a brown belt and brown shoes or boots, no bet and major heel, flats and a jacket. To use it for cocktail and work, I'd probably get black.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:20 PM Flag
NP: Do you think it would work on someone with boobs? Have been admiring the dress all fall.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:28 PM Flagi have large breasts. i think that's why I had to have it tailored. i had it taken in several inches at the waist...just don't buy it so it fits your waist if you have boobs, buy it so it fits the boobs and have the waist fixed. my tailor said it was a super easy job.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:36 PM Flag
this dress, I have been drooling over it, and you can pick the color. would be great work with a cardigan, then after just bare: http://www.ureshii.org/products/Sideswipe.html they custom make it to your measurements, too!
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:39 PM Flag
[+] People are so gross in this city. DH and I were having a nice dinner, seating next to... 149 replies
- I was once walking down West Broadway when I noticed the people in front of me parting like the Red Sea in The Ten Commandments. A homeless guy wearing a heavy winter coat (it was summer) was coming the other way with...
- SUCH a great look. Shirt with no pants. Hot....
Talk : : November 02, 2011
People are so gross in this city. DH and I were having a nice dinner, seating next to the window when a group of teenagers walked up and started flipping us off. One kid pulled out his penis and pretended to jerk off. The girl pressed her breasts against the window. This went on for 3min before we were able to contact a waiter. Just a group of gutter rats.
149 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.02.11, 07:59 AM Flag ]-
Wow, that never happened to me. Where was that? What time of the day?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:02 AM Flag-
Sure. Have lived here for 43 years which is my entire life and have never, never seen anything like that.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:02 AM Flag-
I was once walking down West Broadway when I noticed the people in front of me parting like the Red Sea in The Ten Commandments. A homeless guy wearing a heavy winter coat (it was summer) was coming the other way with his penis out of his pants urinating while he was walking, with the urine going in broad sweeps left to right and back again and he walked. So a teenage penis and some breasts doesn't seem like a big deal.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:07 AM FlagHow quaint. I love ghetto rats at that age. In five years they'll wait for you outside and hit you over the head with a brick just to make a youtube video out of it.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:09 AM Flag-
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If it was 8pm it was dark out. How could you see outside? Sorry, this sounds fake -- 3 minutes!!! Kids flashing for 3 minutes and no passersby are staring at them. How come I've never seen anything close to this in 25 years?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:18 AM FlagYes, it was pitch black on a west village street and the restaurant was so dark that absolutely no light was projecting out the window. And the restaurant itself had no lights on the front because naturally they didn't want anyone to know they were open for business.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:21 AM Flaglulz. The people who cry fake often don't think things through.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:47 AM FlagFrom OR: I think this response was meant to be sarcastic. Or perhaps not, but then it proves my point. Did you ever notice that when you sit inside a house/restaurant, when it is night, you can't see outside. OK, you CAN see outside if a bright light is shining outside. So, in order to believe the OP, you have to assume the teenagers were flashing penises and breasts for 3 minutes while light was shining on them, and no one except OP noticed. You guys are pretty gullible.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:43 AM FlagThe response was indeed sarcastic but it's also true. The street is lit! It's the Village for crying out loud!
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:00 AM Flag^^^ true in the obvious negative sense, if you know what I mean
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:01 AM FlagI know! This post really sounds fake or greatly exaggerated. I'm trying to imagine a crowded Village Street. Bright light is shining on a group of teenagers flashing penises and breasts in front of a restaurant window. Passersby don't notice, other restaurant patrons don't notice. It continues for 3 minutes, at which time finally OP gets a waiter's attention and somehow the waiter stops it?? How did the waiter make them go away? Just sticking his head outside and yelling?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:05 AM Flag
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Maybe you don't get out much? In my first year living here I had a homeless in an elevator begin to urinate on the floor. Another homeless ?? man on Amsterdam in the 70s who was just walking around with his penis pulled through his zipper trap. Another man once began masturbating on the 6 at 4pm on a Wednesday. I saw a regular white couple having sex in Central Park in the middle of the afternoon. I was chased by a group of teenagers on CPW in the 80s at 6pm for no reason but to scare me. All kinds of shit happens here. It's NY.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:45 AM FlagWhy would someone make up this story? It's not even that shocking to me. I've seen a guy in the middle of traffic, wearing only a t-shirt in the snow, completely pantless, balls jangling, screaming "FUUUUUUUUCK you BIIIIIIIIITCHES! I said FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" I just walked on.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:50 AM Flag-
Shirtcocking: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shirt%20cocking
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 11:06 AM Flag
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those kids come into the city from the boroughs or Jersey. Don't clump us all together or our dcs. I grew up here and don't do this. Whenever there are issues with teens in the WV they are NOT from the city.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:23 AM FlagOP: I grew up here as well. I may just be noticing this now, but I don't remember people acting like this 15 years ago.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:48 AM Flagor: for me it was more like 30 yrs ago (when I was a teen) but we didn't act like this. In the last 12yrs (since I've been a mom) and have been hearing about a lot of this on the news happening in the WV...it's always kids from out of town coming into the city to start shit. They call it wilding. It's horrible and I wish these kids would do something more productive with their time.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:24 AM Flag
A woman panhandling, asked me for money for diapers for her baby. When I hesitated, she whipped out her boob and squirted breastmilk at me. Gave her $20. This happened 20 years ago, in San Francisco. And I still can not get over it.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:25 AM Flag-
How about those dickweed kids who pushed a shopping cart from up high onto an innocent shopper, at Costco on 116th St. Way to keep people from shopping in your neighborhood, asshats. Hope they get put away for a long, long time. By the way your story IS disgusting, and I would go to the cops. They can get "prints" off the windows from the story you tell. Sick fuck-up kids.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:27 AM FlagYes, I'm sure many white people took notice of that and will now reassess whether they want to shop at Target in Harlem.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:30 AM FlagYup, we, black people, love shopping carts falling on us. Pfft!
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:52 AM FlagI don't know how you get that from what I wrote, but to many of the black moms here it's all about being black. So whatever, you should be concerned about shopping there too.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:30 AM Flag^^^ Actually, you know what? I DO get it now. Everyone should be concerned. So my apologies.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:33 AM FlagNP: (who isn't Black) -- you may apologize, but your post reveals alot about how you think. You only care about this woman because she is white middle class. despite the fact she was hurt by a random act of violence that could have hurt a black person instead, you make this about race. Perhaps you might think about your own prejudices. I know you will deny having a prejudiced bone in your body, but it's better to acknowledge your biases and try to improve upon them, not become defensive.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:54 AM FlagEveryone's a little bit racist sometimes and so am I. I freely admit it. But you're wrong about some things: I don't only care about the victim because she's white. It would be a tragic story no matter what.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:04 AM FlagBut then would you have posted "now Blacks will reassess whether they want to shop at Target in Harlem" -- WTF was your post about? You assumed that woman was targeted because she was white, and that definitely hasn't been shown to be the case. Unless those 12 year olds are brilliant physicists who can drop an object 4 stories and have it get their target. It's not all that easy.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:08 AM FlagNo, I assumed that white people were already wary about shopping there because it's in Harlem, so they'd be even more wary now that shopping carts are falling from the sky.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:18 AM Flagthe more you post, the worse it gets for you. A crane fell on the upper east side and killed people. Do you now avoid the UES? Because, you know, there have been far more lethal construction accidents that occur in midtown than shopping carts falling from the sky anywhere. does that make you more wary of being in Manhattan?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:21 AM FlagAnd why are white people already "wary" about shopping in Harlem? Because of your assumption that they are likely to get robbed? Because you say that the shopping cart falling is going to make them even more wary. So first, they are wary because they are in Harlem. Then, they are "more wary" because a shopping cart might fall on them and they should be on the lookout whenever they go to that target.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:38 AM Flag
I agree with you. not going up there again...who knows what it will be next time.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:54 AM Flag
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I just have less and less sympathy lately. Maybe it means I am a jerk. But we all got problems and issues. I'm tired of the "I'm a minority, I'm a victim, I'm entitled to this that and the other." The same way I am tired of Occupy Wall Street's alleged victimization.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:37 AM Flagditto. maybe those kids did us all a favor, since we will think twice about showing any compassion or care for them in the future. that poor attacked woman actually believed they could be saved. maybe she taught us all, that's just not so.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:35 AM FlagListen to you. Read what you wrote. "That poor attacked woman actually believed they could be saved." That woman believed poor kids should get candy. You are implying that all those poor kids are like those boys who dropped a shopping cart. That's sick. I don't imply all Jews are crooks because Bernie Madoff was. I don't imply all White people are like Jeffrey Dahmer and nearly every other "Christian" serial killer, and thus, any poor white person is not worth helping. Shame on you.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:58 AM Flagwhat does this have to do with race? what color were the boys? why are you obsessed with their race?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:11 AM FlagDon't be cute. Read the posts above. You (or the people you agree with) are saying that the women was wrong to buy candy for poor people because 3 youths in Harlem did something stupid, so obviously all poor kids in Harlem don't deserve this woman's candy. Yes, I find that when 3 Italian youths in our neighborhood are arrested for drug dealing I decide that all Italian people are drug dealers. Why did YOU say no kids deserve her candy, or assume the perps were the people for whom the candy was being bought?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:17 AM Flagare all poor people black or is that just in racist new york?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:18 AM FlagWhy are YOU assuming this is about race? Re-read my posts and tell me where I said anything about their race. Just pointing out that you are making sweeping judgements about "poor kids in Harlem" (who could be any race). According to you, none of them "can be saved" and thus deserve no candy. I'm facetiously making similar judgements about other groups to show you are silly and biased such statements are.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:24 AM Flag
You are absolutely right. Stay out of that area, and keep your kids as safe as possible. There is no changing the monstrous low-lifes that did this. The poor woman and her family. Wake up -- they were, for sure, aiming for her and her child. Most likely because they were white. This is a hate crime.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 05:58 PM Flag
OR, did you see the reply from the DH of that woman -- he wrote a comment in the NY Post article. Unlike you, he UNDERSTOOD that those kids were stupid and idiotic but not criminal at age 12. He wasn't saying let them off, but he obviously got that they were stupid and not hardened criminals. Somehow I suspect you have far more sympathy when the kids who do something stupid are white. Like -- those Saint Ann's kids who destroyed a playground and were lucky no one got hurt -- if someone did, should those kids have been sent to jail for life? And they were 15, 16, 17, not 12.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:48 AM Flagnp: If white kids threw a shopping cart onto a person below I wouldn't be sympathetic at all. There were lots of poor white hicks where I grew up and they got into all kinds of trouble with the cops. There's a way to avoid that, you know. 12 is young but they should be punished under the law.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:54 AM FlagThis was not stupidity, it was malice. They dropped a shopping cart onto an area where they knew people were walking below. Ideally they would be looking at life in prison; fortunately for you and those who share your views, they will get a slap on the wrist and nothing more, while the victim lives with the consequences for the rest her life. Why you think that is a fair result is beyond me.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:12 AM FlagFrom OR above: I did NOT say they should only get a slap on the wrist. But, you want to lock up 12 year olds for life because you have decided, without knowing a thing about them, that they have no respect for human life and intended to kill that woman.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:46 AM FlagI guess you don't know that kids have very little perception of consequences, right? Their brains are not developed enough. That's why we don't sentence them like adults. But hey, keep cutting education and programs that help those kids and it will certainly create more problems, 1%
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:59 AM FlagHey, way to bring it all back to the 1%! Bravo! I just knew it was their fault somehow. And I think most 13 y.o.s can process the consequences of dropping a large object onto pedestrians below, for god's sake. I have a 13 y.o., for the record. They aren't complete morons. Pretty capable of knowing right from wrong.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 04:58 PM Flag
Well, I do know *one* thing about them. That thing, in my view, is enough. This isn't just kids being kids, no matter how much you want to believe that. Even a 12 year old knows that dropping a shopping cart on someone can hurt or kill them; they knew this, but did not care.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:00 AM FlagDo you have a clue how often KIDS do something that can kill someone but don't think about the consequences but get caught up in being stupid and showing off? THAT'S why my post about the Saint Ann's far older kids (16 and 17!!) is appropriate. That FIRE could have killed someone. It didn't. They were totally reckless and stupid and deserve to be punished, but have some perspective, please. Many years ago some white suburban Florida teenagers thought they'd be silly and steal a stop sign from a small road. A driver got killed and they got convicted of murder.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:13 AM Flag"The pint-sized perps were smiling, telling jokes and laughing with each other after they were taken into custody, police sources told The Post." This was after seeing the consequences.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:16 AM FlagWell, if an anonymous cop said this in "the Post" it must be true and demonstrating their intent to hurt that woman. given the husband's response to the Post article that tried to paint those kids as dangerous murderers, I doubt this is true.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:18 AM FlagThe boy's parents said they were "good kids." I doubt that's true, either.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:22 AM FlagI'm not saying they are good kids. They are obviously stupid kids who have no sense of the hurt their actions caused. But recognizing that someone who is 12 is not yet making good judgements is pretty important. If those kids had pulled a gun and shot someone I wouldn't be defending them. In fact, I'm still not defending them, except to say that everyone here should constantly tell their 12 year old to make sure they don't do anything stupid that they don't realize will hurt someone. I guarantee you that almost every kid has done something stupid at that age. My friend drove her parents car around one night at age 14, and we all rode with her, thinking it was a blast. We're lucky none of us got killed nor that the friend didn't kill someone else.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:30 AM FlagI don't think they should get the death penalty and I don't think they should get life in prison but I do think they should be punished as the law allows. Dumb kids or not. And if your friend had been caught, she should have been punished for joyriding or whatever.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:51 AM Flagnp And yet MOST 12 yos don't commit acts that could kill others. Even neighbors in the projects say these kids were bad news. The parents should be charged for inadequately supervising their spawn. If they'd left them home alone and they'd set a fire or hurt themselves, they could be charged.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 12:08 PM Flag
kids can only be as decent as the people and the society who raised them. they're animals, because we live in a society that sets the standards that way. look at some of the comments on here. they find this perfectly acceptable. you can wear prada and live in a fancy apartment, it doesn't make you a human being.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:31 AM Flag"Let's blame society." Same old song. No matter how horrible the crime, there is always someone ready to say that it's not really the criminal's fault. These kids destroyed a woman's life for absolutely no reason at all, but it's unthinkable, to some, that we blame them for it or hold them accountable in any meaningful way.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:41 AM FlagYes, let's have the death penalty for 12 year olds who do stupid things. They didn't shoot someone, they did something stupid and dangerous. Do you really think they knew how to judge the physics and aim for the white woman. It just as likely could have hurt a minority, but then you wouldn't be here screaming for blood. Of course, middle aged men who purposely bankrupted many people in order to get rich -- they get a "fine" and you give them a pass.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:50 AM FlagA few points in response: 1. I'd rather be bankrupted than brain-damaged, so I am not sure what your point is there; 2. I'm more than happy to see any white-collar criminals cooling their heels in jail, hell, hang 'em high as far as I am concerned; 3. I'd be pretty much outraged whoever the victim was, why would you think otherwise?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 10:09 AM Flag
i live in the w village (near extra virgin) and eat out constantly and have never encountered what you described. perhaps you should have taken a photo?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:47 AM FlagOP: Why would I want a photo of this? I've lived in the Village for 22 years now. This isn't that unusual. I feel it's becoming more commonplace.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:50 AM Flagnp. I would have taken a photo to (hopefully) mortify the kid. One shot of his face, one of his crotch... See ya on Facebook, kid. Oh, and to pass on to the cops as well.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:34 AM Flagand then they would arrest you for child porn. don't listen to the idiots of urbanbaby please. and especially if you're around your children. don't laugh. it's not about the perpetrators response. they are irrelevant in your life. who cares if they get a rise out of your reaction. your reaction is supposed to teach your children something. if you are disgusted and tell them this is uncivilized repugnant behavior they should view as shocking and unacceptable, then you taught your children a lesson. who gives a crap about the reaction of the brats making a scene? they do not count. they will be in prison or on the streets soon likely. they are not your problem. what's relevant is that your children are able to see the reaction of a rare and unique commodity in this world- a civilized person who exhibits horror and disgust and embarrassment. it's also unethical to humiliate other people even if they are attacking you. don't stoop to their level and teach your children the same.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:39 AM Flag
Here are the holes in the story: Extra Virgin is set back from the street with v little window seating so the "gutter rats" would hae had to stepped up onto the front risers to do this. 2. Their are 2 street lamps directly outside of EV. THE STORY IS FAKE!
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:26 AM Flag
The kids prowling the streets downtown in the village are annoying. Don't know if they live there or go to NYU or just go there for fun from wherever they live. But it's been that way for some 10 years now.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:52 AM Flagif you gave them a reaction, then they probably wanted to do it more. best thing is to give them a reaction they don't expect.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:02 AM Flag-
I worked in a building with a first floor cafeteria that had one-way windows that looked like mirrors on the other side. One day while sitting near the window a guy came up and peed on the other side of the glass while me and three female friends were eating lunch literally 12 inches away with a perfect view. It killed my appetite.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 09:41 AM Flag
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[+] I am in here all the time complaining about feeling like I'm losing control around 2.... 107 replies
- together -- do you know how to do that?" So he gets involved in a new action. Once it's off, you can say, "Time to get dressed! Do you want to wear a blue shirt or a red shirt?" He gets interested and engaged in a new direction. Don't give more than two choices though, imo. Finally, I totally agree with 'acknowledging and validating' his feelings. I hate that sort of new age...
Talk : : November 01, 2011
I am in here all the time complaining about feeling like I'm losing control around 2.5 year old. Well, it happened again. I feel so totally horrible. I think I said some abusive things this morning. It started when I told him he couldn't watch any more blue's clues on my iPad and took it away from him. Predictably, he started screaming. I started yelling at him. It escalated. He threw the computer mouse on the floor and it broke. I yelled some more. He screamed some more. Finally, his gma came to pick him up and I said "he's in a mood. You can have him.". As soon as he was in her arms, he was a different child. What can I do to get control of myself in these situations? I feel like I don't want to be alone with ho
107 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.01.11, 07:16 AM Flag ]Do you ever watch Supernanny? She has good ways of dealing with major tantrums, control, boundary issues. I think toddlers really need routines to stay calm & not stressed out. Also, get him outside! Run him around until he's tired from playing!
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:21 AM FlagI agree re routines. He has a baby brother now, so his routine has been thrown off. It takes longer to get our if the house because I have to nurse the baby, change the baby etc and baby is not on much of a schedule yet. DS gets whiny when it's taking too long. I get frustrated too. And as much as I try to prevent it, we seem to have an episode Luke this every morning.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:30 AM Flag
I think you are in your right not to want to stay home with him. That's perfectly acceptable. In addition, I suggest you give him more warnings about changes. Some kids need that. Ex., "Tyler, 5 more minutes of Blues Clues." Or, get a timer and tell him when the timer dings, time's up. Lastly, time outs are not just for kids. Better to leave the room, take a deep breath, and come back when you can be more calm than to yell.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:24 AM FlagIt sounds to me like you need to take better care of yourself. You sound stressed out about more than your 2.5 yo's behavior. Please take the time to evaluate your life and make changes to bring your stress levels down. Take time to take care of yourself physically (eating well, exercising), mentally and spiritually.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:34 AM FlagI am not taking care of myself at all. Every waking moment is consumed by child care.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:51 AM Flag-
np: I completely agree. You need a few hours away each day. See if you can make that happen for a couple weeks--and DH take him from wake up on Saturdays through dinner, on Sundays, he does wake up through nap. A consistent break for a couple of weeks might help you recharge. Also, consider mentioning to your doc what's going on. That you know 2s are tough but you feel like you're really changing, WAY over the edge.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 02:16 PM Flag
You are both having temper tantrums and are feeding off of each other. There is a reason he is a different child with his grandma. They don't have that hostile and volatile relationship.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:36 AM FlagI know. That's my point. I'm asking what I should do to make it better.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:45 AM FlagGet yourself under control. Walk away if you feel something brewing inside yourself. If that means he can play on your iPad a bit longer so be it. If that means that he will scream and shout, let him and walk away from him. Don't get sucked in.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:52 AM FlagThat age can be very trying. Know it, accept it, and prepare to step back. You will not win a battle of wills with a 2.5 year old, you will just make yourself crazy. Praise any good behavior and when you correct him keep it simple, matter of fact and without too much emotion. Give him a 10 min then 5 min warning before changing activities whenever possible and if he still pitches a fit WALK AWAY and ignore him as long as he is in a safe place. Keep the drama out of it.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:16 AM Flag
Are you in therapy. I understand loosing your cool now and then, but if you're yelling at DS all the time, no wonder he yells and screams. It helps me to remember that these are small children, and it's unreasonable of me to expect adult behavior from them. If I say no, it's a reasonable response for a 2-year-old to throw a tantrum, it's my job to show them that is unacceptable, and ineffective behavior.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:38 AM FlagYour son is reacting like he does because he is mimicking the way you react to him. He's out of control because you're out of control. I disagree with the warnings because 2.5yos have no real concept of time and "5 more minutes" essentially means nothing to them. You can warn him that the iPad is being turned off after Blue's Clues is over and leave it at that. But he will react to you like you react to him because that's what you're teaching him. I think you need to start doing something simple like counting to 10 before you deal with your son. You need to stop fighting with him and against his 2yo nature. You can modify your behavior and by doing that, change his.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:44 AM FlagI agree that "5 min" means nothing to a child. You're better off setting a routine and sticking with it, so (for example) your child knows that he watches his program while you clean the kitchen after breakfast, when you're done, he's done every-single-day. Also, transitioning from one activity to another is hard at 2.5, so lead him into the next activity as you end the previous one, say something like "OK, time to get dressed and start our day! Do you want to wear purple today?!" The reason why pre-school works for young kids is routine, routine, routine. Aim for the same thing at home.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:46 AM FlagThanks for this. I think my son definitely thrives on routine. A big part of the problem is the new baby demanding much of my attention and throwing off the routine. I do what I can but if the little one needs to nurse or be rocked to sleep, I just can't focus on the older one's routine.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:55 AM FlagI disagree that a 2.5 yo can't understand a warning, especially because if you start doing it he will learn what 5 minutes is. Nobody likes to be walked up to and told to stop what they're doing immediately because "I said so". Not you, not me, no one. If I told you to stop UBing right now, because you've had enough for the day and it isn't good for you, even if I meant well you would tell me to F off.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:20 AM FlagThe routine is that once the show is over, the device or tv gets turned off. But warnings to a 2.5 yo that involve time are not useful because they have no real conceot of time. We as adults do, and older children do, but that's too much to ask from a 2.5 yo.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:22 AM FlagI still disagree. It's called teaching. Maybe he doesn't understand innately what 5 min is but after a few times having the ipad taken away after the allotted 5 min he will understand the "concept" of 5 minutes. Apps don't just end like TV shows either. Some of them just go on and on.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:28 AM Flag
Counting to ten is the good, practical advice I'm looking for. Thanks.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:50 AM Flag
Get the book, "How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk". It's a great book. You sound stressed and my guess is your mother was not very patient with you when you were two and you are just repeating more of the same. BTDT. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:46 AM FlagTherapy? Why did you become a parent? You have to learn to lower your expectations of what a child of 2.5 years is capable of understanding. I don't think your child is out of control. You are.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:55 AM FlagI'm not sure a message board wil help you much. You sound like you need professional help to get out of this rut.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 07:57 AM FlagActually, I am gleaning some very useful information on here, which is why I keep coming back. It hasn't helped overnight, but I think it will over time.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:03 AM Flag"I am in here all the time complaining about feeling like I'm losing control ..." I think I remember your posts or at least some of them. To me, it just doesn't sound like you're getting better. You'll need someone to help you put the useful advice you get on here into action. Theoretically knowing what to do is not the same as actually doing it.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:11 AM Flag
This won't solve all of your problems. But the best way to deal with a tantrum is ignore it. Don't yell, threaten or give in - just continue with your day and if you feel you are going to lose it go into another room. It won't necessarily stop the tantrum but it will prevent an escilation. And after time the number of tantrums will go down.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:11 AM FlagShe has a new baby. The worst thing she can do is ignore him. He's already feeling left out. She needs to acknowledge his feelings. This is a tough transition for him (and her too.)
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:19 AM Flagor: I'm not saying she should give in to every demand and "fix" the tantrum. But he may just need to hear the words, I see you are frustrated when I'm holding baby brother etc. I know it's hard to wait for your snack, etc" Which would you prefer? Having your feelings ignored or validated. It's called basic respect. We can show it to little people too. Works in my house.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 10:40 AM Flagor: Clearly, you're not understanding me. It's not about "giving in". Have any of you actually tried it. My dc had full blown tantrum because we weren't going for pizza after swim class (our usual activity). In mid tantrum I say, "I know you love pizza and you are disappointed. It's part of our routine after swimming but we can't go today. I know your mad but it will only last for a few minutes and you'll feel better soon.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:06 AM Flag
See if the NYU Child Study Center has any sessions on Carolyn Webster Stratton's The Incredible Years. I did a series there with a Dr. Ortiz a few years back. It made a huge difference with our coping skills. We are our children's primary role models. Don't chalk it up to having a bad day unless you want your child to learn that behavior. What they are exposed to at this young age really does matter.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:17 AM FlagI feel for you, because this used to be me when DB #2 arrived. Please check out Transforming the Difficult child, it has worked wonders for us. The basic idea is that if you are a parent prone to escalating consequences (warning, yelling, time out, spanking) kids know that's how they get your undivided attention. So when they don't get your attention they start to act out because they know you will yell at reprimand, yell, punish, etc. All these negative consequences actually are a reward to them and they keep acting out more and more. If this sounds like you and your child, read the book, after only 30 pages you will know what to do for the next 2 weeks, while you finish the book and get really good at what they suggest. Their plan is very easy to understand and follow and it does work. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:56 AM Flag-
A couple of things I'd like to add. Don't buy the audio version, reviews are bad. buy the book or kindle version of they have it. If you have the money, there are people (not sure therapists or what title exactly) that are trained in this method, so they could help you. Their web-site lists them, I found 2 in Brooklyn. Also, the first 2 days the methods seems to backfire, the more calm and nice you are to your DC the more they act out (at least it happened to us), b/c they desperately want to go back to negative consequences, so just don't give up. Also, if you aren't against homeopathy, get yourself some Rescue remedy or Biron's Sedalia (sold at DR) to help you calm down, there is Rescue Remedy for kids too. I did this for a week only, to help me get through until the method started paying off, now I don't need it at all.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:22 AM Flag
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You need to get some help for your own sake and your son's. Having a 2.5 year old and a baby (whom you're nursing) is tough stuff, not to mention you could have post-partum depression or anxiety. The things your son is doing are upsetting and unacceptable, but they are not outrageous and you can correct them easily if you get yourself into the right mindset. You should see someone who can evaluate you and make sure that your head is in the right place (i.e., you don't have post-partum depression or anxiety) and you should see a child psychologist that can help with some techniques on how to deal with your son. This is a very difficult time for mom and big brother, so you need to deal with this stuff the right way - by getting the help that you need. Also, can you afford a babysitter? If so, you should get one to come for at least a few hours per day. This will allow you to get away and calm yourself. How old is the baby? Are you in NYC? There are lots of people I know of in NYC who can help you.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:58 AM FlagLittle guy is 4 months now. If anything, it's getting harder as he gets mire demanding. I really don't think I'm depressed. But I am sleep deprived and in need of me time, for sure. I guess therapy would be helpful, but I'd rather work out (like I used to before DCs) or get out with friends (without DCs) in a regular basis.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:07 AM Flag-
Also, as a mom, we sometimes forget that when we neglect ourselves, we also neglect our kids. you need time. you can't be super mom and you can't be with the kids all the time. so if you have the resources, get out and do some things for yourself. although it does seem like you've lost perspective and that won't necessarily come back by getting out and doing things for yourself, so I do still think you should see someone.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:12 AM Flaghow can I send you info? I don't know Urban Baby very well. I actually signed up so that I could respond to you :-) Is there a private message function?
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:13 AM Flag-
send me an e-mail at iheartnyc10023@yahoo.com I will give you names of people who can absolutely help you. they are wonderful. they helped me after i had my second kid and i continue to see them today even now that i am doing well because they are so wonderful
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:20 AM Flag
Are you in NYC? Do you have resources ($) to spend on this? I can point you to people who can help you. You're not crazy and I'm not suggesting that you need to check into a mental institution. You just need a professional to help you sort things out. People don't want to admit that they might be depressed or anxious and sometimes after a pregnancy and 4 months of taking care of, and nursing baby, you forget what it's like to feel normal. This is SO incredibly common. People either suffer through it (and their kids suffer as a result) or they get help.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:11 AM FlagI would have said, john, 3 more minute and momma is putting away the ipad so you can play with your crayons or so we can get ready to go to the park or take a nap. Then when time is up, you go over get on his level and say baby, time to put this away so we can do xyz (take ipad away and redirect him...some kids need to be busy or to have something to do or know whats next, they like routine or predicability....does he attend any daycare? he might also just need some outside stimulation since you have to spend so much time with newborn.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:16 AM FlagWe are planning to start him in day care. We were going to wait till I started work but I think we need to do it sooner. Just got off the phone with DH regarding this, actually. I think if I can get him out of the house in the mornings we'd all be happier, including his little brother whose naps are constantly interrupted by DS's general noisiness.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:21 AM Flagjust realize you are all going through a transition....maybe your guy just needs to know whats coming next so he doesnt feel neglected...toddlers need routines and consistency....and with a newborn it's tough to do, but if you try and give the older sibling some type of schedule, he wouldnt feel as left out.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 09:29 AM Flag
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You are spending too much time with him. Turn him over to someone else for part of everyday if possible. You need time away from him and time for yourself. If there were less total hours, it would be much more doable. Get help with the childcare pronto.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 12:00 PM Flagtoo much time?? Kids need parents. How can you spend too much time with a two year old. Of course, she should get a break, but does she really need him out of her hair everyday?
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 12:19 PM Flagkids who don't learn to spend time with others become inflexible. it'd be good for that 2.5 year old to spend some in daycare or with a sitter, even on a daily basis and especially with a 4 mo baby at home. In this case (and in many cases), it will benefit mom, too. and let's not forget - what benefits mom, benefits kids.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 01:09 PM FlagPlease - even Dr. Spock advocates turning children that age over to a caregiver (grandma, babysitter, whatever) for a healthy portion of the day. Mom and Dad are not always equipped to deal with a child in that state - I don't mean that as an insult or a comment on the parents' competence. Sometimes, a third party is a Godsend for a child.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 01:55 PM Flag
why don't you quit complaining and posting about abusing your DS, and DO something to address your issues? He's only going to be little for a short time, your ruining it with your untreated mood disorder. Make an appointment with a shrink. Or, get a FT job and hire a gentle nanny.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 01:30 PM FlagAdding another obligation (therapy) into an already over-stressed time isn't going to help. You have an infant, a 'terrible 2', and you're hormonal -- so first of all, stop beating yourself up. The baby is going to be fine and stimulated just hanging out with you so put your effort into DS. My suggestion which nobody mentioned yet is to involve DS as the important big brother. "Oh, Johnny, I need your help, baby loves you and always smiles for you, can you come amuse him while I change his diaper? Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you! You know, since you helped me, it went faster and now we can do xyz together!" You can manufacture things for ds to do to make him feel important (can you bring me a diaper, can you hand me [something], etc.) and each time he 'helps' you can reward him with positive attention so he doesn't need the negative attention. Re what other people are saying about transition warnings, I totally agree -- if he doesn't know yet what five minutes means he will learn and besides, he will still know that the transition is coming even if he doesn't know how the exact number of minutes from now, so it won't be a nasty surprise. My other suggestion is choices and actions -- distract him with choices and actions. After you've warned that turning off the computer is coming, you can say, "Okay, time's up! Let's turn it off together -- do you know how to do that?" So he gets involved in a new action. Once it's off, you can say, "Time to get dressed! Do you want to wear a blue shirt or a red shirt?" He gets interested and engaged in a new direction. Don't give more than two choices though, imo. Finally, I totally agree with 'acknowledging and validating' his feelings. I hate that sort of new age wording but I think that doing it works. "Johnny, I see you feel frustrated because we are moving so slowly. I feel frustrated too that we can't get out of the house quickly but Jacky isn't going to be a baby forever and we'll be able to move more quickly when he's bigger like you. In the meantime, you and I will just have to work together, okay?" Acknowledge, engage, redirect, praise. And make him fall in love with the baby by telling him how much the baby loves him. And reward yourself every time you don't yell. Sending you a hug, you can do it. :-)
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 01:44 PM Flagpp: this was suggested the last time she blew up at her kid. The woman needs treatment. It's much more efficient to get treatment, and get better, and start to truly enjoy your kid. The cycle of trying new ideas, wanting to change, stressing about needing to be different, holding it together for a while, and getting all shamed and miserable for not being disciplined takes up a lot of head space. And time. I'm not a fan of meds without therapy, but for many people Rx is MUCH better than nothing.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 02:09 PM Flag
Kids will start to understand warnings if you start using them. I have a 2.5 year old and he gets it. We also have certain ground rules in our house- no whining, no tantrums is one of those rules. If he starts to get into that mode, I use 1, 2, 3, then time out. Time out is quick and after time out, if he is still upset, I ask if needs to sit with me for a few minutes in his special place (on my bed). Typically he calms down and having a set system helps me from getting upset or exhibiting tantrum like behavior myself.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 01:55 PM FlagI'm right there with you, OP. 2.5 year old and 6 month old. Losing it, and not liking who I am with them. Soon they wont like me either. Someone (can't remember who) once mentioned that an anger management course they took gave them the best insight into toddler behavior, and made them a better parent, than anything else. Anyone have any recommendation for something like that in nyc?
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 02:26 PM FlagKAZDIN. I can not stress this enough. Please go on Amazon right now and look up his book. The method has been scientifically proven, and although your dc might be a little young, it might just change your entire household.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 03:09 PM FlagI liked the Kazdin book as well as Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting." The former gave a very concrete approach while the latter honestly radically changed the way I thought about my four-year-old. As an aside, when I was in your shoes I put the two-year-old in daycare for half the day. It was beneficial to her and gave me time to myself and to bond with the newborn.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 01:58 PM Flag
Don't beat yourself up. This is a "normal" reaction in that 2.5 year olds are often impossible to deal with. But you're the adult and you need to get a hold of yourself and model calm behavior. I agree with the poster who recommended Kazdin and also checking out NYU's programs. The escalation scenario is a "no win" for anyone! Good luck.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 03:12 PM FlagDid you give him a two minute warning that it was time to stop watching? Kids, like adults, need advance warning when they have to transition an activity. Just taking it away and saying it's over is definitely going to get negative results. Also, have another activity ready to Segway in to. Tantrums are often the result of boredom.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 04:16 PM Flagyou need to teach your self to step away. i do this too and ive been working really hard at not letting myself get angry. for me the most effective thing is to FORCE myself to smile. And although sometimes my dd does need discipline it also does help me control my rage (which gets totally out of hand) by hugging my dd. it just softens me right up. for a while i tried every time i wanted to lash out at her i would get her on my lap and hug her. It was very effective for me and i was then able to talk to her about what she was doing wrong because my softness helped her control her tantrum also. you could give it a try?
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:20 AM FlagIt sounds like you're escalating the confrontation. What I've found with my 2.5 yo is that a countdown works. "OK, Johnny, five more minutes... three more, one more." Then at five minutes it comes off. No negociating, no "OK, here's an extra five." It'll be hard at first but later as he realizes five minutes means five minutes it'll get easier. Secondly, no escalation. When he tantrums, walk away and tell him to find you when he's clam.
[ Reply | More ]11.02.11, 08:53 AM FlagI went through a phase like that when my kids were 1 and 4. I used to get very mad and yell at my 4 year old. I also occasionally squeezed her arms pretty hard in an attempt to control her. I was very tired and stressed out. I went to therapy with my 4 year old. I learned that stress/anxiety is very contagious. If one person is stressed in the family, it contaminates the other family members, resulting in frequent conflicts that escalate. So, I agree with the posters that say that you should take care of yourself, take the breaks that you need, learn to recognize when you are stressed or when your child is stressed and learn to control yourself better when you feel very anxious.
[ Reply | More ]11.03.11, 06:08 AM FlagI just went to a seminar about positive discipline run by Janeene Hayward, a clinical psychologist who runs www.swellbeing.com. She's very good and specializes in these kinds of issues -- and is in NYC. I'm sure you have lots of recs available to you, but I was very impressed with her and if I had a similar issue with my own 2.5 year old, she'd be the one i'd reach out to. At the seminar, there were about 15 - 20 parents, many of whom had similar issues and she had very god answers for them. Hope your situation improves...
[ Reply | More ]11.03.11, 07:48 AM Flag
[+] What turns you on? 93 replies
- black, white and red websites...
- Dark haired guys in black t shirts,a guy with a great ass,Faith No More....
- Nice suits and shirts (Savile/Jermyn, nothing flashy), floppy hair, that muscle guys get right near the hip, alcohol....
Talk : : October 27, 2011
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The man I'm having secret sex with. That man should write a book on how to have sex.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 12:24 PM Flag-
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Lol bass players are notorious male bimbos. Man,this post is making me miss my mispent youth.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 12:40 PM FlagThat's fine with me. But I prefer a man to cater to me in bed while enjoying himself and not just think about himself (IMO, lead guitarists fall into the latter category). Also, bass players are just sexier. I briefly dated a guy who was a bass player but I met him not through music. I was into him until I saw his band play: he was so unsexy when he played! I didn't know that was possible! What a turn off.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 12:44 PM Flag
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Crooked penises. Straight ones can be OK too, but something about the crooked ones that just make them unique and special.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 12:48 PM Flag-
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Nice suits and shirts (Savile/Jermyn, nothing flashy), floppy hair, that muscle guys get right near the hip, alcohol.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 04:29 PM Flag-
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVsf82IuVLI&feature=related
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:57 PM Flag
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This guy. He is hot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ5TajZYW6Y
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 08:44 PM Flaghttp://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf/72245/2176265--1.jpg
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 09:59 PM Flag
Nice smile, white teeth, short hair-longer in front, clean preppy clothes, clean finger nails, sense of humor, sparkling eyes
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 03:24 PM Flag
[+] Easy yet creative costume ideas for adults? I'm going to 3 halloween parties this wee... 13 replies
- Billy Mays (RIP) Chambray shirt, khaki pants, fake beard, carry an empty pail of Oxy Clean....
- As a broke student, I was often a Killer Tomato (red sweatshirt with stuffing and a paper leaf on top) or some other fruit or vegetable thing depending on what color shirt I had handy. You could just dress up in formalwear and be the 1%....
Talk : : October 27, 2011
Easy yet creative costume ideas for adults? I'm going to 3 halloween parties this weekend so I need more than one costume.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.27.11, 08:17 AM Flag ]-
That's good because it is topical. You've got to be pretty confident to go as Barbie though. And pretty Barbie like in your looks and proportions for people to get it.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 08:22 AM FlagThis is not an easy costume, but I went as Ursula from the Little Mermaid last year and I have to say that it was pretty awesome going as someone much older and fatter than I am. It is not fun to try to go as someone younger, thinner, and prettier--as most celebrities are.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 08:25 AM Flag
Get an adult size Snuggy. I'm not sure what you could be...Different options depending on the color. At least you will be cozy.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 08:19 AM Flag-
[+] What is happening to the USA? Having just watched footage of the OWS attacks in Calif... 103 replies
- It is pointedly the supervisors in white shirts, well trained and schooled in NYPD tactics, that are executing policy. Right now the people are with the Police, if the police...
- Red Dawn!...
Talk : : October 26, 2011
What is happening to the USA? Having just watched footage of the OWS attacks in California I'm really horrified (you can easily find clips on the OWS website.) A two-time Iraq veteran is in critical condition after being hit in the head. That poor man. When other protesters gathered to help him, a police officer actually directed an explosive device into the crowd. So the US government supports demonstrators in the Middle East, where oil can be acquired, but when people at home demonstrate, they are vilified and attacked? Contrast this with the tea party rallies, too. Some tea partiers actually brought guns to their events, but none of this happened. Just despicable.
103 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.26.11, 11:52 PM Flag ]the cops in Cali and in general are doing a piss poor job during the OWS. Even here in NYC they're getting into things with protesters when it's obvious they shouldn't me. I blame it on the "cowboy" cops...many of the "buffs" that unfortunately passed the psych eval and shouldn't have a badge. I didn't hear about the vet in Ca but will look up the story now. Thanks for posting
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 02:49 AM Flagnp: I don't think it's a few rogue or "cowboy" cops; cops are trained very well on how to handle crowds. I think this is policy from on high. Bust some heads and maybe they'll get scared and go home. We should all know by now that there are two sets of rules in this country, and in this world: if it's in "our" interests, democracy is to be supported and protected, but if it's inconvenient to the powers that be, they will crush you. And by "our" I mean the ruling elites. The people are inconsequential.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:49 AM FlagIt is pointedly the supervisors in white shirts, well trained and schooled in NYPD tactics, that are executing policy. Right now the people are with the Police, if the police do something wrong the sentiment will change quickly, both sides know this. It is a chess match almost every protestor has a camera of some sort in their hand to catch any misstep. I agree with some of the protestors sentiment and will put up with some amount of inconvenience.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:12 AM Flag
This video does a great job highlighting the hypocrisy that OP mentions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGRXCgMdz9A
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 07:09 AM Flag
It is hard to violate someone's civil rights when they are carrying a gun, the people who wrote the constitution understood this.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 04:44 AM FlagFunny how the Tea Baggers would show up with guns to protest and nobody said shit. The OWS kids show up and are immediately smeared.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:59 AM FlagTea Party people were ridiculed, at least in the press I read. They were called gun toting racists, simple minded people clinging to their guns and their Bible yearning for an America that served them on the backs of others... something along those lines.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:02 AM Flagpp: To be clear, I meant the cops didn't come and gas them, use hand grenades on them or shoot them in the head. You are correct, some people did call them narrow minded (I think rather than simple), bigots and it is hard to react negatively to someone calling you gun-clinging when you stand there... clinging to your gun at a town hall meeting.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:21 AM Flagfunny and this is true, but I assure you they don't take gun-clinging as an insult. I was in Colorado on 9/11 - the local gun store ran out of ammo within I think a day maybe two. I, as a wise ass NY transplant, asked my neighbor who exactly he is going to shoot and he didn't know but it made him feel better to be prepared.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:52 AM Flag
IF you want to go back to the founding fathers intent it would be best if you actually knew what you were talking about. THe reason they wrote the second amendment was that colonial tradition (and lack of central funds) dictated that when men joined the colonial militia they provided their own guns. How that amendment is interpreted today is FAR from their intent. You can argue it's right, but not that they intended every civilian with a whim to own a gun.
[ Reply | More ]10.30.11, 06:57 PM Flag
Can you tell me where else in the world the OWS could do what they have been doing in NYC and not have been dispersed by now. BTW, there seems to be a bit of anger directed at the less fortunate by the protesters. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/zuccotti_hell_kitchen_i5biNyYYhpa8MSYIL9xSDL I guess they don't like sharing.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:01 AM FlagNP: Plenty of places! For example, http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/07/18/7106179-israelis-sleep-outside-in-protest-of-climbing-rental-costs
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:56 AM FlagOr here: http://redtents.org/about/red-tents-in-paris
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:57 AM Flag
You do realize these clips have been edited so as to not show the protesters provoking the police.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:03 AM FlagEdited how? In the clip there's a man lying motionless on the ground, alone. People have dispersed, until some people approach him to help him
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:29 AM Flag-
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And you rude and ignorant. Should I have specified this as, grenade subtype flash or stun? Anyway, I'm just quoting The Guardian. Here, why not read and educate yourself instead of calling people names? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_grenade#Stun
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:45 AM FlagBelow is the article from The Guardian that I just referenced http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/oct/26/occupy-oakland-veteran-critical-condition
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:46 AM FlagYou mean the one where they say "allegedly" and "police projectile" as opposed to "a police grenade put this guy in a coma"?
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:50 AM FlagThe beginning of the Guardian story talks about a projectile; they then go on to talk about an explosive device. So I understand why we are at odds. I was concerned about what happened after his injury, you were talking about the initial cause of his injury. With that, we can probably put a peaceful end to this debate, as we weren't discussing the same thing.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:19 AM Flag
Yes, you should have. Saying grenade is inaccurate and inflammatory and you know it, whichis why you used it. When you're interested in a serious debate, you should use real language instead of inflammatory words.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:48 AM FlagI apologize if you were confused, but I must say that I figured it was quite obvious, since an actual grenade, whatever it is called, would probably have killed all those people. Why are we splitting hairs? I posted because I was distressed after viewing a short video featuring an injured, motionless man lying on the ground, and someone, presumably (?) a police officer, throwing something at him and his helpers, something that flashed and exploded in their midst. Is that specific enough for you?
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:06 AM Flag
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Please post on a more appropriate bloard. This is getting so tiresome. And, UB regulars, please don't feed the troll.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:29 AM FlagI'm op and it's too bad if you find this troll-ey. I have never posted about anything political before. Why do you think this issue shouldn't be discussed, along with numerous other topics? Do the UB TOS forbid politics? You're always free to collapse a post, you know.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:41 AM FlagOP, ignore this protester. She knows that OWS is having an effect and she's scared.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:54 AM FlagThe wealthy are not yet scared, at best they are the annoyed stage but I assume most don't give it a thought.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:05 AM FlagYup, just like I wasn't scared of the Tea Partiers, just annoyed. Little did I know that the entire Republican Party would be dancing to their tune and filibustering any legislation that didn't reward the rich with more tax cuts they didn't need. The Tea Party, with the help of the Republican Party, won't allow any legislation to even be VOTED upon. Thanks to them, the "minority" rules.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:17 AM FlagYes, right now the wealthy just write a check and they are taken care of, when that changes they will be concerned. The guy who just won NY-09 Congressional seat pretty much summed this up , he said I went to write a check to someone who supports my views and there was noone to hand it to. I had "the coin" to run so I did.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:46 AM Flag-
In NY-09, Weiner was so ensconsed that he ran unopposed - so literally, there was not a single candidate to oppose the local Democrat (i.e. noone to hand a check to). The wealthy Republican wanted to make a statement and so he used his own money to promote himself, events transpired and now he is in Congress.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:59 AM Flag-
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Honestly? You're a troll becuase you posted deliberately inflammatory statements that are clearly false, just to get a reaction out of people. And if I wanted news on what's happening, I would hardly consult OWS's website.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:39 AM Flag
WILL YOU PLEASE LEARN THE DEFINITION OF "TROLL"! THIS IS GETTING TIRESOME. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH A POSTER, THAT IN ITSELF DOES NOT MAKE THAT POSTER A TROLL. Why don't you just collapse the post if you are so tired of it? I don't like posts about food intake so I collapse them. Easy. You should try it. And really, it's time to learn what the accepted definition of an internet troll really is.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:53 AM FlagThis. UBers have no idea what a troll is. It isn't someone who posts something you disagree with.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:20 AM FlagOr is is someone who deliberately post half-truth, spinkled with a few choice words, and watch the sparks fly. No one is interested in a real debate anymore.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:50 AM FlagPP: I'm interested in it! For example, someone posted above that no other country would let people do a sleep-in protest. I posted links to recent sleep-ins in two very different countries.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:51 AM FlagI think we oversimply the manner when we say, "Peaceful assembly." There are still rules about where you can and cannot, and when you can do it. If the laws are in place, and the police are merely enforcing the law (and NOT selectively doing so for one group over another), then I don't see how they're violating the First Amendment. THe cops are damned if they do, damned if they don't. Because if they allow OWS to break the law, then they're screwed because they're sympatheziers and not doing their jobs. The only way to come out of this fairly is to follow the law, at all times. If that's what the cops did, I see no issues with it. Frankly, I think OWS could take a lesson from civil disobediance in the civil rights era.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:00 AM FlagPP: It's a huge public relations problem when you crack down on peaceful assemblies. I do personally/ideologically believe in OWS, but I think that the cops are smart from a PR perspective to allow the protest to go on.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:02 AM FlagUntil the Westboro Baptist church wants to protest at some five yo's funeral and use this as fodder for unfair treatment.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:09 AM FlagIt's a huge public relations problem when you defecate on cop cars, drum loudly all day, and inconvenience and annoy local merchants and residents.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:26 AM Flag
Violence is dispicable from all sides. This is not a cause we need to hurt, maim others for.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:34 AM FlagI agree with you, it's disheartening and scary. I hope that poor guy is no longer in critical condition.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 05:54 AM FlagUnfortunately what he has appears to be major traumatic brain injury. I might be wrong, but he appeared unresponsive in the video, didn't speak, open eyes, move limbs. Some newspaper, a quality one and not a tabloid, said his skull cracked and his brain swollen. I hope he heals back to normal when he gets out of the hospital. These are really serious injuries.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 06:24 AM Flag
The police force in CA is not exactly known as being the best and brightest in the U.S. They are ALWAYS having issues with police brutality. This is not representative of the entire U.S. where demonstrators have been allowed to protest without issue.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:39 AM Flagop here, and as you can probably tell, I'm not originally from the US. Thanks for clarifying this.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 07:53 AM FlagI think lately, Occupy Atlanta movement had a similar destiny. Before that a lot of local organizations were ordered to leave. Media is turning a blind eye on these protests. Police just do what they are told to do. It is too much wishgful thinking to say it's because of CA police.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 09:22 AM Flag
Thanks for posting this OP. I live in Berkeley and was following the news during Occupy Oakland protests from twitter news. What I found out was that although #occupyoakland was trending like crazy, it never became a top trend, not even in San Francisco. People started to tweet Oakland PD - pd for police dept, and in almost virtually every tweet that included "Oakland PD" there was an #occupyoakland hastag. And Oakland PD became a worlwide top trend for a few hours. So I conclude that twitter censors #occupyoakland. I bet they censor #occupywallstreet and other #occupy hashtags. Media was cheering up on twitter and facebook's role on Arab spring, now private companies as twitter is censoring public movments. So much for democracy! Also I read that google was ordered to remove videos of police attack on pritestors, but they didn't accept. maybe there is still some hope. who knows..
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 09:12 AM FlagI'm just so pissed that this OWS keeps carrying on. All those cops are being forced to use up millions of OT dollars. Those are dollars that now can't be used on something constructive - like schools or jobs or infrastructure projects.
[ Reply | More ]10.27.11, 09:54 AM FlagCops are not typically very bright. Neither are these protestors. It's bound to turn into a shit show.
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 02:37 AM FlagThis video clip is really worth watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGRXCgMdz9A
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 07:08 AM FlagCalifornia is a liberal state. Liberals are facists. Plain and simple. Why are you suprised? I'm not.
[ Reply | More ]10.29.11, 09:35 AM Flag
[+] Invited to a class cocktail party. What should dh wear to this? 7 replies
- Red thong and matching bow tie....
- He dresses very casual at work. Suit and tie, or sweater shirt and tie....
Talk : : October 18, 2011
[+] If your kid is in private with a summer birthday, how do you feel about them starting... 21 replies
- I have an August dc and am in the same boat. I was sure that I would avoid "red shirting" for him, but decided to wait and see who he was before lobbying for one class or another. Now that he is getting read to join dd at private school I am totally OK with him being red shirted because I think he is very sensitive and a bit immature. I think it depends on your kid. I would never have done the same for...
Talk : : October 17, 2011
If your kid is in private with a summer birthday, how do you feel about them starting K so late (assuming they get red shirted). Is it socially strange for them to be so much older than the rest of the population? I'm not necessarily talking about their classmates, but they will graduate at 19, and enter college almost a year older than so many others. I am very confused/mixed about that. Would like to hear others' thoughts.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.17.11, 08:32 AM Flag ]in Private many of the kids are turning 6 or just turned 6 by Sept. Lots of Summer and fall bdays...so they aren't the odd man out. The odd man out is the Aug. kid who starts K after just turning 5yr in private (that was my dd). She held her own and you'd have never known she was the baby in the class
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 08:34 AM Flagmy four dcs are all summer birthdays (2 June, 2 August) and were among the oldest in the class. it's a little awkward when their public school friends from nursery school are a year ahead in school, but they are 18 (not 19) when they graduate from hs, and many in college will also have come from private schools and be in the same boat. not really a big deal.
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 08:34 AM FlagThis is illegal in Chicago because studies found that the children may have started ahead, but in later years would be more inline with the younger grade. On the flip side, those advanced or the youngest would often catch up to their older class academically. It shows us how capable our children are of learning more than we think possible.
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 08:51 AM FlagFor me it would depend on child. For DD (birthday sept) we chose to send her to different school than DS just so she could go a yr earlier. She was totally ready. Also, we are likely moving to burbs where she would then be up to a 1.3 yrs older than classmates if we kept her out until next yr.
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 09:08 AM FlagOur private didn't "allow" any redshirting and adhered to the 9/1 cut-off. My son is among the youngest (July birthday) but with some other summer birthdays. Honestly, it's been fine BUT I think part of that is because there wasn't any redshirting so no kids were 15 or 16 months older than him (max spread was 11 months).
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 09:15 AM FlagThe oldest kids get to be the little superstars, the parents are often very smug about how advanced their kids are when the truth is it is because they are A YEAR older than some of the kids. I imagine it is great for their confidence and envy them. SIgned, mom of youngest boy in class who is a summer boy who was not red-shirted. I used to see what the oldest were doing and think wow, they are so smart; then a year later my kid would be doing the same thing. A year makes a huge difference in the early years of school.
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 09:17 AM Flagsame here and it is tough. my ds was youngest in his class and at the start of 1st grade he was struggling, especially with reading. by jan he was reading strongly and i couldn't help but think how much easier/smoother/less stress it would have been if he were 5 or 6 months older and more in the middle-to-top age wise. what can you do though?
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 10:19 AM Flag
OP again - I've called a few schools and it seems that their policies vary. Some require red-shirting and others don't require but would be OK with an older applicant (that we chose to redshirt) and others completely refuse and red-shirted applicants. So... I feel that we can perhaps choose what is best for us as a result. So I'm looking for opinions - if you could choose, would you red-shirt a summer birthday kid? Why/why not? Thank you!
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 09:26 AM FlagI have an August dc and am in the same boat. I was sure that I would avoid "red shirting" for him, but decided to wait and see who he was before lobbying for one class or another. Now that he is getting read to join dd at private school I am totally OK with him being red shirted because I think he is very sensitive and a bit immature. I think it depends on your kid. I would never have done the same for his sister.
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 10:10 AM Flag
Did you see this piece? "delay kindergarten at your own peril" http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html?src=me&ref=general
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 09:43 AM FlagMany public schools nationwide have moved their K start bday cut off earlier in the year. In fact, the earliest one I found was May. And that doesn't take actual red-shirting into consideration. So I don't think kids in NYC privates will be that out of line with their peers. Also, in college, age is less relevant. There are students who take a year off before starting or in the middle, there are students from overseas where the HS system is different, etc. I had a friend who repeated a year of HS when switiching from public to prep school, then took a year off before college as he was a bit burned out on school after 5 years of HS. Turned 21 at the end of his freshman year!
[ Reply | More ]10.17.11, 10:29 AM Flag
[+] My daughter will be turning 4 in December. While we are zoned for a very good PS, I'... 4 replies
- I know NYC kids with December birthdays who were allowed to start K at age 5 (6 in December). The 2 kids I can think of now are at 321 in Park Slope (borderline birthdays who got permission to red shirt). So your DD might be able to repeat pre-K at private, apply to private K and then still do public K if no accepts. GL!...
Talk : : October 07, 2011
My daughter will be turning 4 in December. While we are zoned for a very good PS, I'd like to send her to a private school (class size, resources, etc.). My question is - do I keep her in preschool for another year or do I send to her public kindergarten and then apply out? While I'd hate to have my daughter repeat her class (they keep you with same teachers), I feel like I'd get more help from the PSD next year. But I also run the risk of having to have my daughter go straight into first grade if she repeats preschool and doesn't get in anywhere. Advice?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.07.11, 07:14 AM Flag ]despite the official stance, I know NYC kids with December birthdays who were allowed to start K at age 5 (6 in December). The 2 kids I can think of now are at 321 in Park Slope (borderline birthdays who got permission to red shirt). So your DD might be able to repeat pre-K at private, apply to private K and then still do public K if no accepts. GL!
[ Reply | More ]10.07.11, 07:31 AM FlagTalk to PSD bit present it as you are plannin to do public k as you are assuming this is the way to go b/c of you don't want her to have to go straight to 1st in worst case scenario that you will be looking for her support/OK to contact her throughout year, etc. See how supportive PSD is and whether she suggests repeating at pre-school. If latter, make sure she gives you the impression she will be very supportive of DC in process
[ Reply | More ]10.07.11, 07:39 AM Flag
[+] Into how many piles do you separate your laundry? I do white socks, dark socks, white... 79 replies
- wash everything together in cold water except red things....
- I separate by color. Reds and oranges. Yellow and green. Blue and purple. Black...wash cycle: cotton (towels, sheets, underwear, white socks), darks, shirts, delicate cycle and handwash. Within each I separate by...
- me tooo! except I don't own any red things. So everything together. Nothing ever gets ruined. I...
Talk : : October 04, 2011
Into how many piles do you separate your laundry? I do white socks, dark socks, white underwear, dark underwear, colored clothes, white clothes, sheets-white and colored, towels-white and colored. Is this too many categories? I have 2 boys and dh. tia.
79 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.04.11, 10:17 AM Flag ]-
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Sounds like OCD to me. We only separate out new dark-colored things that might bleed. With color-safe bleach, you don't have to sort everything else.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:20 AM Flagop: this is interesting. i think i may have learned a few tricks here and there from all the comments. my pet peeve is whites that start looking dingy, so i always separate them, maybe unnecessarily. i use various detergents, plus bleach, but i use warm water, not hot. maybe i should use hot instead.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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Wow, laundry is really a chore at your house. I separate whites and wash all the rest together. Why are you separating socks?
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:21 AM FlagWayyy too many. Clothes are color fast now (if they aren't, I don't buy them). You can pretty much wash everything together in cold, except for underwear and socks. Wash those in hot to kill any questionable germs and smells. Any other specialty items (a fuzzy sweater, or something new and black that looks like it might run in the first wash) can be washed separately if you really want to.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:22 AM Flag-
Do you have a lot of free time you don't know what to do with?
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:25 AM Flagit depends - is each of those a full load? if yes, then that's not too many. but if you're doing a dozen small loads in order to divide like that, then it's ridculous. white socks and white underwear can be merged w eachother and w all white clothes. same for dark socks, dark underwear and colored clothes. same for the sheets and towels.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:27 AM FlagHow often do you do laundry? Even if everyone wore white socks that's only 4 pair a day. In a week you might have a load but I'm guessing DH at least wears dark socks to work.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:33 AM FlagThree laundry bins - 1 for DH and me, 1 for DS, and 1 for hot wash (towels, dish rags, sheets). First 2 are done in cold water and we never have problems with the reds.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 10:49 AM Flag-
Here's what I would do if I were you (since you mentioned above you don't like dingy whites): wash your whites separately in hot water with bleach. Wash darks and colors (I separate them but you don't have to) in warm water, no bleach (or cold if you prefer). The end.
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 11:45 AM Flagwhites (hot), darks (cold), colors (cold). if i have two loads of colors, then light colors and dark colors. i pull out anything i don't want to go in the dryer to hang dry. i pefer doing the kids' white shirts in cold, but i only do that if i have enough. otherwise, in hot with other whites. but god yes, simplify your life and do all whites together, all darks and all colors together!
[ Reply | More ]10.04.11, 05:39 PM Flag
[+] late November birthday dc will from public to NYC private school next year. . . i'm w... 16 replies
- talk about red shirting!...
Talk : : October 02, 2011
late November birthday dc will from public to NYC private school next year. . . i'm worried that my child will be youngest by far--do kids often repeat a year at 5th grade?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.02.11, 07:59 AM Flag ]Sometimes. The school will tell you what they think you should do.
[ Reply | More ]10.02.11, 07:59 AM FlagI'm dealing with the same thing and it may keep us from transferring to private. Most of the schools I've spoken to say they need to come over at 6th grade (i.e., be the youngest by far). Do you have a boy or girl. I think it will be worse for boys, since so many redshirt boys.
[ Reply | More ]10.02.11, 08:06 AM FlagYour child will probably be one of the youngest. However, the problem is that smart kids from public are honestly going to be easily able to do 6th grade work. So if you want to pay an extra year tuition to have them take it easy for a year, you'd apply to repeat.
[ Reply | More ]10.02.11, 08:34 AM FlagIn a lot of privates at 5th, 6th grade there is no option. Your son will repeat 5th. Some are more flexible. At high school, the ones that told us our dd would have to repeat are saying it is about the child. For what it's worth my son is by far the youngest in his class (also a November birthday). The next oldest to him has a September birthday, the oldest in his class is 23 months older!!! My son is currently 15, the oldest in his class will turn 18 in January. For my son it hasn't been a big deal socially and he's doing fine academically.
[ Reply | More ]10.02.11, 09:14 AM Flag
[+] Describe the "wasp" look. For men? For women? For children? 64 replies
- and you start looking Catholic). Thin upper lip, often sunburns easily so red face, tennis tan in summer and ski tan in winter, Often taller than...way too immigrant looking). Young men never wear dark collar long sleeve shirts or black trousers (too Euro looking). In the first pic, the tall...
- business casual looks all the time (khakis, collared shirts, belts, cable knit sweaters), minimal makeup, small and simple jewelry. clean cut and...
Talk : : September 28, 2011
Describe the "wasp" look. For men? For women? For children?
64 replies [ Reply | Watch | More09.28.11, 02:53 PM Flag ]women: http://www.thedailyweston.com/sites/default/files/img_7446-c_donna_ward_marsh_and_leslie_mcelwreath.jpg?1291643344
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 02:55 PM Flagmen: polos with or without popped colors in obnoxious pastels. Khaki shorts with brown woven leather or canvas belt. Loafers with no socks.
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 02:56 PM FlagAll you need to know: http://theprepblog.tumblr.com/
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:04 PM FlagOr this one: http://www.unabashedlyprep.com/
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:05 PM Flag
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Women: headbands, low heels, courdory jackets. Men: green jackets, madras pants, docksiders. Kids: smock dresses, Mary janes with white socks, little boy suits.
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:23 PM FlagThis - http://www.google.com/imgres?q=waspy+clothing&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&tbo=d&tbm=isch&tbnid=L7bOs5Lyo6PRVM:&imgrefurl=http://www.stuffwaspslike.com/page/2/&docid=_TC1GMss7q1sqM&w=262&h=400&ei=CZ-DTvTyKO3ViAL0m9XvBw&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=690
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:30 PM Flag-
Sorry, correction: www.stuffwaspslike.com
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:33 PM Flag
Seersucker. http://www.stuffwaspslike.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/68seersucker.jpg
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 03:36 PM FlagI went to Andover and Harvard. WASP look is unstylish but expensive clothes from stores like Brooks Brothers worn until they fell apart. Girls borrowed from brothers, fathers, boyfriends -- WASP-y is an asexual/unisexual look. Girls, when they need sexy underwear for a hot date, consult the LLBean catalog. Boys dress like dad as soon as they can walk, girls like mom. Adult WASP-y women wear their hair the way they did in kindergarten. WASP-y is a tiresome, constipated look for some of the most boring people in America. Why anyone would want to dress like a WASP is beyond me. And I'm a WASP whose family has been in America since Jesus was a corporal.
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 04:46 PM FlagThe most accurate thing on this board is "clothes worn until they fall apart" and the most inaccurate thing is that RL is waspy. RL is Jewish trying to be waspy which is totally different. The classic wasp look is fair hair, usually quite thin and straight but can have some wave to it (too many freckles and curls and you start looking Catholic). Thin upper lip, often sunburns easily so red face, tennis tan in summer and ski tan in winter, Often taller than normal, often skinny, women often flat-chested, don't dye their hair, maybe lighten it a bit, don't pluck their eyebrows too thin, only makeup tends to be lipstick if anything. Good quality (real) jewelry, but the same piece worn every day. Women and girls never wear tight clothes (like spaghetti strap tanks and tight minis - way too immigrant looking). Young men never wear dark collar long sleeve shirts or black trousers (too Euro looking). In the first pic, the tall woman is a real wasp, the short one just lives in the neighborhood. Catalogs think LLBean, Brooks Brothers, Lily P.
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 08:26 PM FlagITA. One side of my family came here in the 1630s and the other side ratified the Constitution, and nobody would wear a logo. Even for the Southern half, RL is too much. Lily P yes, because it is so lime green that it's kind of garish rather than attractive, and hence obviously not trying too hard to look nice.
[ Reply | More ]09.28.11, 08:41 PM Flag
[+] sorry, trying again on the schools board. dd misses the cut-off for nyc publics by a... 21 replies
- red shirting is principal dependent. i know several people who just asked and held their dcs back...
Talk : : September 27, 2011
sorry, trying again on the schools board. dd misses the cut-off for nyc publics by a week. any way to get a waiver and start K early? no flames, please, just help.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More09.27.11, 09:31 AM Flag ]-
That's funny, people are usually bending over backward to try to get their child to start late! NYC is usually very strict with age eligibility, they don't let people red-shirt either. Good luck with that.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 09:43 AM FlagI'd consider if you and the women in DH's family were early or late to hit puberty. On either end of the bell curve there are difficulties but if dd ends up being on the late side and you compound the problem by skipping here a year in school it could be very difficult for her.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 09:51 AM Flagnope. my DD was born Jan 3 so I feel your pain. we paid for a year of private preK. she's now at 166 in the G&T.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 11:03 AM FlagI suspect that it would be difficult, but just keep in mind that because of all of the red-shirting, you should think of missing the cut-off by a week as more like missing the cut-off by a month. You could try to send your kid to a kindergarten-type program at a private *preschool* (e.g. Montessori), and then she might qualify for public 1st grade the next year by virtue of having completed kindergarten.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 11:39 AM FlagWould you ever want to go private? She'd likely have to repeat a grade.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 11:49 AM Flagif you really want her to start early, see if there's a private school that will allow her to do it - maybe a parochial. then once she's done K, a public school may test her and if she passes, let her go into 1st grade the next year. my friend's daughter had the reverse of this. fall birthday, did 3 years in private having started at almost 6yo. then they get job option in SF and don't renew private contract as they are moving in august. the week they're supposed to move, dh gets a better job offer to stay in NYC and they stay. dd has to go to public school at that point and they want to put her in the grade she's supposed ot be in for her age - but they test her and of course she ends up in the correct grade bc she hasn't learned 3rd grade material yet.
[ Reply | More ]09.27.11, 12:22 PM Flag
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[+] Spin-off from J. Crew post: what brand of clothing, in your opinion, has the highest ... 22 replies
- pieces and you'll star them forever. Also their wrinkle free shirts (on sale) are worth every penny....
- in to their store I never end up buying anything. The shirts are a little wide for me....
- buttondowns -- not the boxy "classic" but the "fitted" cut. These shirts are classic and awesome....
- clothing is made in China, which is kind of a red flag for me (but not necessarily a deal-breaker). And...
Talk : : September 24, 2011
Spin-off from J. Crew post: what brand of clothing, in your opinion, has the highest quality for the lowest price? I'm a young professional just starting to earn a steady (though still somewhat meager) income, and would like to expand my wardrobe with a few classic pieces as well as some fun trendy pieces. TIA.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More09.24.11, 05:24 PM Flag ]well, there are a lot of smaller brands but i think that most of the brands that barneys carries have solid quality. i think some derek lam or chloe pants, dvf dresses, robert rodrigues skirts, steven alan & brooks brothers for button downs. break it up with some alice and olivia , marc, mcq
[ Reply | More ]09.24.11, 05:30 PM FlagBrooks Brothers -- get some classic pieces and you'll star them forever. Also their wrinkle free shirts (on sale) are worth every penny.
[ Reply | More ]09.24.11, 06:24 PM Flag-
NP. I hate the wrinkle-free shirts. I think the fabric feels weird and unnatural. I also think BB is designed for people shaped like squares (or, if thin, rectangles). I have never been able to find clothes there that look tailored on my 32C-24-36 figure. I feel like you have to be hip-less to wear BB, which sucks because I like their no-nonsense preppy aesthetic.
[ Reply | More ]09.25.11, 08:50 AM Flag
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It's better to shop like a man and build a wardrobe full of high-quality clothing slowly, than to buy cheaper pieces more quickly. It will last longer and you will look better. And, really, no one but you will be able to tell the difference between one pair of black pants / one black pencil skirt and another. Pay attention to where the clothes are made. E.g., while I like Theory and Tory Burch, a lot of their clothing is made in China, which is kind of a red flag for me (but not necessarily a deal-breaker). And try to at least start out purchasing only in person, not online, until you know what brands you like and how they fit you.
[ Reply | More ]09.25.11, 08:54 AM Flag
[+] Fashion moms: I am not a fashion mom and so I try to stick to very basic things where... 19 replies
- it should coordinate, but not necessarily match, both. FOr example, if you had on taupe pants and a beige top, wear a leopard print belt. Or if all black, wear a red belt or a black belt with an ornate, buckle....
Talk : : September 23, 2011
Fashion moms: I am not a fashion mom and so I try to stick to very basic things where in theory, I can't go wrong, but somehow I still look off. Case in point - today I'm wearing tailored pants and a tailored shirt, both in my size and very traditional styles, but I just don't look pulled together or stylish at all. Without actually knowing/seeing me, any ideas on classic fashion mistakes that I might be making to get this disappointing result?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More09.23.11, 11:50 AM Flag ]Just analyze yourself like you are out of body...if your outfit was in a magazine, what would you think as "wrong" about it? Then just fix that. Or find someone whose style you like and copy one of their outfits EXACTLY...obviously this is not being genuine, but after one or two wears, you'll realize what works and what doesn't for you. It's like making a recipe; the first time you have to completely copy someone else's, second time you know what to adjust.
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 11:59 AM FlagFirst of all, make sure you are investing in a few high-quality pieces. A basic pant from, say, Loft is not going to fit or last as well as one from, say, MaxMara. Second, complement these basic pieces with items that are more colorful and on-trend -- for example, a patterned blouse or bright scarf. Third and most important, make an appt. with a personal shopper at a high-end retailer (Neimans or Saks) to help you find styles and designers that best fit your body and lifestyle.
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 12:00 PM FlagMe again. If you are not comfortable with the personal shopper idea, find a friend whose style you admire and ask her to come with you on a shopping excursion to help find stuff. And don't be afraid to try on a LOT of stuff so that you can see how different brands fit.
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 12:09 PM Flag-
You're welcome! I love to shop, even vicariously, so if you want some further suggestions, just ask. I do think it's super-important to figure out what looks good on you -- which labels, which fabrics, what styles, etc. Once you're out of your early 20s, trends are just not nearly as important as knowing your body type and dressing accordingly. And like I said above, try EVERYTHING on, even if you don't think it will look good. It just might. And when you find a designer or store that fits you well, go back for more. Good luck!!!
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 03:00 PM Flag
how is your hair and make up? this matters more than you can imagine.
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 12:18 PM FlagThat is a very traditional classic outfit (I dress like that too). Add oomph by paying attention to details, like (head to toe) hair, earrings, necklace, scarf, watch, bracelet, belt, bag, shoes. A really nice manicure in a brighter color (plus such a lipstick)adds a lot. I like to wear classic neautral colors, but NOT all black, for example. I would wear black pants and a charcoal gray top, maybe a scarf in similar tones, reddish nailpolish, gold or silver jewelry. A very unique purse..Just suggestions...
[ Reply | More ]09.23.11, 12:46 PM Flag
[+] What do you sleep in? DH thinks that I should be wearing something sexy nearly every... 67 replies
- in the nude - I hate how stuff bunches up when I sleep, but with a 4 and 6 year old, I sleep in a tee shirt and boxers...
- . When we get to the point where he doesn't care, or he does and I'm not willing anyway - that will be a red flag for me....
Talk : : September 22, 2011
What do you sleep in? DH thinks that I should be wearing something sexy nearly every night.
67 replies [ Reply | Watch | More09.22.11, 06:03 AM Flag ]tshirt and boxers. dh has no say in what i wear to bed and vice versa.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:04 AM Flag-
Sounds expensive. The moment my official day is over, I put on "home clothes" and generally sleep in those. I would be baffled by needing to sleep sexy. Do you feel comfortable sleeping in something saucy? Can't hurt to pick up a few cute things. But be wary- this kinda sounds controlling- maybe I'm wrong...
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:06 AM FlagIf DH enjoys and is a generally a good partner (not controlling), I think that you make the effort and shop for some silk/sheer/short stuff. Friends of mine that want to make no effort and then wonder why DH strays later baffle me.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:19 AM FlagITA. It's a well-known fact that most divorces take place not because of "irreconcilable differences" but "cotton t-shirts."
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:23 AM Flag-
Maybe if you're a trophy wife. But in a marriage of equals, a cotton t-shirt does not lead to infidelity.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:34 AM FlagIt's a symptom, not a cause. If you are the kind of wife that can't make this small effort when you know that DH enjoys, then you are likely to have other issues.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:38 AM FlagI guess that's the difference. I can't imagine being with a man for whom my sleepwear would be such a big deal - or who would even have a preference. DH doesn't think of me as a Playboy bunny and I don't think of him as a Chippendales dancer.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:54 AM FlagFair point - but I don't think that there is anything wrong with making an effort to be sexy for each other. Doesn't make you a Playboy bunny or him Chippendale's dancer. Would seem odd to me not to care at all how you look for your DH. I believe they call that "letting yourself go".
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:58 AM Flag
Like the grooming of pubic hair, I believe there is an age divide on this topic. Younger women tend to go for the t-shirt and shorts uniform and older women tend to go for the nightgown uniform. Am I right?
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:30 AM Flagmmm, how old are we talking? I'm 40 and I'm in the t-shirt group.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:32 AM FlagWell, if you're talking what I wear after I take OFF my uniform, in the summer it's my ugly underwear, and in the winter it's thermals, which are also pretty ugly, but which are actually pretty comfortable.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 07:31 AM Flag
I sleep in a cotton tank top and shorts. My DH doesn't care what I wear to bed as long as we have sex.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 06:53 AM Flag-
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DH and I made a deal on this a few years back - he wears hot boxer briefs and I wear nice undies and tight tank or no top. We were worried about turning frumpy with kids.
[ Reply | More ]09.22.11, 09:21 AM Flag-
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