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[+] Pls tell me the deal. Had blood drawn by my OB/GYN today. He did not wear gloves. ... 13 replies
- RN/Nurse practitioner here - yes, he should certainly have worn gloves for a blood draw. BUT - the old school types often don't. I was at my kids' ped's office the other day and before I realized it the nurse giving her a vaccine didn't have gloves. I would have said somehting but by the time I realized she was practically done. As to not having a nurse in the room - I don't know that it is a routine practice, I have certainly had pelvic exams with my...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Pls tell me the deal. Had blood drawn by my OB/GYN today. He did not wear gloves. First I thought, what if I have AIDS, and my blood squirts everywhere, or he pricks himself? Then I thought, what if he has AIDS, and I get it? Or hepatitis C? Is this weird? OK to do? He also does an exam with no nurse in the office, but I posted about that, and y'all said it was fine. I'm a little freaked out by this guy. Your thoughts??
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 06:27 PM Flag ]-
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None of this would bother me, but if you're uncomfortable, just switch now. FWIW, I've had gyn exams from a male doctor w/no nurse in the room. I don't want to sound harsh but if that's an issue for you you need to find a female doctor, you can't really choose a male doctor and then expect him to have an extra staff member on hand so you don't get skeeved.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:09 PM FlagRN/Nurse practitioner here - yes, he should certainly have worn gloves for a blood draw. BUT - the old school types often don't. I was at my kids' ped's office the other day and before I realized it the nurse giving her a vaccine didn't have gloves. I would have said somehting but by the time I realized she was practically done. As to not having a nurse in the room - I don't know that it is a routine practice, I have certainly had pelvic exams with my primary care without anybody else and it didn't seem weird. Most practices are busy and don't have somebody available to just be there. But I'm sure you could request if it's important to you. Still, I guess I second the suggestion that if you feel that uncomfortable with it you should consider switching to a female doc.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:10 PM FlagYou realize that docs wear gloves to protect themselves from YOUR HIV and germs rather than vice versa. Yes gloves prevent bacteria from going back and forth between patients but that's more of an issue in hospitals etc, not a doctor going from one waiting room to another.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:21 PM Flag
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[+] My 20yo DD was just told by her gyn that she has precancerous cells and will require ... 186 replies
- Vaccines do wear off you know....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
My 20yo DD was just told by her gyn that she has precancerous cells and will require a cryo - freezing and scraping of the uterus. She was told that it was not caused by HPV. I told her not to tell her stepfather since he lost his mother to cancer just three years ago. I asked her not to speak of the procedure or anything and to just keep it between us. She went to the doctor alone and then spent last weekend with her boyfriend - she's now home on break. Her stepfather wanted to know why she was not staying with us this weekend and I had to makeup a reason. I am so pissed!
186 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 03:59 PM Flag ]-
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Ok, I didn't finish explaining. We have a rule in our house that you do not stay the night at boyfriend/girlfriend's houses unless you are married. She knows this but decided to go against my wishes and called me at 10pm to say that she was going to stay the night at his apartment.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagMaybe because she was scared/ sad after the procedure and needed some extra love and care, and since you told her you were not interested in her sharing any of her medical problems with the family, she was unable to go to your house to recover from what is a painful procedure. You are a horrid bitch.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:11 PM FlagOMG, abnormal pap smears are a dime a dozen. Nearly every woman I have spoken to about it says that they have had one at some point in their life. I just didn't want my husband to hear cancer and then become panicked. He takes meds for anxiety and is easily stressed.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:15 PM FlagYeah but having a cryo means that the cells were abnormal enough for her doc to be concerned. You chose your DH's unfounded anxiety (unfounded, by your own admission, because according to you abnormal paps are a dime a dozen) as more important than your daughter's feelings and her medical needs after the cryo. I just don't get why you were mad that she went to stay with her BF afterwords- I mean you pretty much said you wouldn't want her coming to your place afterwords, so she needed someone to help her in case it hurt, or in case she was bleeding afterwords. And since her own mother refused to, well...
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:18 PM FlagNot at all. I said nothing about coming home afterwards. I didn't even know that she was having the procedure since she didn't tell me.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:27 PM FlagI wonder why she didn't tell you, after hearing your deep concern for her. And would you have really said she could come right home afterwords? And be walking around all funny-like, in pain, and checking her bleeding every hour or two? What if precious DH noticed her pain?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:30 PM Flag
Tell that to my aunt, who died of cervical cancer which was first noted on a pap smear.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:34 PM Flag
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You are TERRIBLE! Way to make your DD's medical procedure about you, ASSHOLE!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagHow did I make this all about me? Abnormal pap smears are not out of the norm. She may have even been exaggerating the issue since she has a history of doing these things - like telling me that she had whopping cough two months ago when she was vax for pertussis ages ago.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:06 PM FlagRegardless of your stupid rule, what have you got to be pissed about? You forced your daughter to lie when she probably needed support and are upset that when trying to hide the lie she upset your husband. You are terrible and selfish as stated above.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:09 PM FlagI didn't force her to lie, I just asked her not to mention it to my husband. It's quite minor anyhow. No need to cause alarm.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:16 PM FlagNewsflash: sleeping over at a boyfriends house when you are 20 is quite minor as well.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:22 PM FlagI wasn't asking for your morals. Those are the rules at our house.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:30 PM FlagWell, clearly your adult daughter needed some compassion since her mother is 100% lacking (although she has surprising compassion for her new husband's crazy anxiety over what you yourself describe as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING). I personally am glad she had a boyfriend to turn to, and I'm sure she was glad too. You are on the right track to being one of those moms that your daughter is writing on UB about, asking how to avoid seeing her crazy parents over the holidays.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:32 PM Flag
So when she came to your house and was on the couch, uncomfortable, and going to the bathroom frequently to change her pad from the bleeding from the procedure, and taking pain meds, what was she supposed to tell your DH? That's right, she promised you she wouldn't tell him. So she obviously couldn't go to your house afterwords. She was doing what you wanted!!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:23 PM FlagShe gets her period every month and no one knows when it occurs. She also would not have been walking around in a different manner. There also isn't continuous bleeding. You don't know what you are talking about. The doctor applies a clotting mechanism and you simply pass a clot of blood in 8-12hrs. There is very, very little blood before that occurs and all of the blood is collected in the clot. It's not like she's suffering from a miscarriage.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:33 PM FlagSo you think it would have been fine for her to come home and not mention her procedure, not mention if she needed any pain meds, not mention any anxiety or fear she was having about "what if something comes back abnormal?"... and just keep mum for the sake of your DH, in case he got worried when he heard about it? Really?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:35 PM FlagHer procedure was minor and routine. She wasn't given any pain meds and was simply told to take 800mg of ibuprophen. Nothing would come back abnormal since the abnormal cells were taken out.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:41 PM FlagYou know, you really are cold hearted. Did you even ask your daughter how she felt afterwords, or how she was feeling, or if she needed anything? Pregnancy and childbirth are routine as well, but I guarantee you were looking for a little bit of attention as you were pushing out an 8 pound baby.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:44 PM FlagNo, I wasn't. I drove myself to the hospital, gave birth and then drove myself home. I am not a drama queen. Even so, I assumed that she is ok since she seems perfectly fine today. No problems whatsoever.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:45 PM FlagNo, it's true. My ex-husband was cheating on me and didn't return my calls all day. I had to take myself to the hospital. I hope that my daughter has a better man in her life someday, so I wasn't meaning to imply that I think all women should go through what I went through.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:07 PM Flag
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Having a cryo is PAINFUL! Regardless if she actually has cancer, a cryo is PAINFUL!! She needed help recovering and you told her not to bother getting help from her family. So she went to her boyfriend. No shit she did!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:12 PM FlagYou are exaggerating. I called my doctor to ask her about the procedure and you just take 1600mg of ibuprophen afterwards. It's not a painful procedure. They numb you during it. You feel nothing.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:14 PM FlagWell, I've HAD one, and it is painful afterwords. Of course you are numb during it- but it hurts afterwords. Similar to how you are asleep during surgery, but once you wake up and the painkillers wear off, you have pain. And you are a complete dipshit- you can't take 1600mg of ibuprofen at once, that's absurd.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:15 PM Flag-
I've had one as well. I did not have any numbing whatsoever. Granted, this was nearly 2 decades ago, but the whole experience was scary and very painful. It might be a common procedure, but while you are having it done you feel alone and pretty freaked out, I would imagine this to be the case even if I were numbed.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:01 PM Flag
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Np: I've had the procedure also. It's uncomfortable and a bit painful. Further
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:35 PM Flagno- Sorry. I've had a cryo and they freeze off the top layer of your cervix- for me I was lying there shaking and it was very very unpleasant, even with the local. I'm surprised cryo is still performed these days- I heard most are now done with laser now as one gyno said to me that cryo was 'barbaric'.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:58 PM Flag
I find when we try and protect people from the truth it usually turns around to bite us all in the ass. Be upfront with her stepfather.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagWell, that's how it turned out in this scenario. I was screwed over by her actions and then I had to tell my husband what was going on.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:17 PM FlagNo, your daughter was screwed over because her mother refused to help her after her procedure so she was pretty much forced to go stay with her boyfriend instead. You made your own bed, OP.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:20 PM FlagI didn't refuse to help my daughter. You are acting like she went in for surgery. I spoke to the doctor today and was told that it's a routine and very simple procedure that only takes 20min. Minimal discomfort after the fact. She could have easily come home.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:29 PM FlagYeah, and not mentioned the procedure to a soul. Sure. This was likely her first true medical procedure, and it was not a routine screening- it was because they found something abnormal! She is only 20- she was probably fearful the whole time, no matter how minor you think it was. You refused to support her. She chose her boyfriend over your. This is your fault.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:36 PM FlagI had a friend in college who had this. She was laid up for 2 days. Sad for about 2 weeks. For the first time your daughter had to face her mprtality and her mother denied her the fear. That lead her to go to her boyfriend. This is a direct consequence of you choosing your husband's feelings over hers. Own it.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:27 PM Flag
A leep procedure? Ok. You need to get your dd another opinion from a doctor you can trust. A friend of mine was told something similar by a doctor on campus and had the cryo procedure. She was afraid to tell her mom and went alone. She eventually learned that she needed no such thing and has ongoing issues because of it. Take your daughter to the doctor yourself. Keeping quiet to protect tour dh is not the answer here.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:07 PM FlagWhose the doctor? A campus doc. Do not let anyone touch your daughter without getting all of the info.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:09 PM FlagShe is a 20 year old adult. Mom can't prevent her from getting medical care, or dictate what care she gets. Heck, this mom is telling her she can't even speak about her medical problem to anyone in the family- and actively thinks she is lying about it. OP-- do NOT get involved in your poor daughter's medical care.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:14 PM Flagor: 20 year olds need help managing these things. sorry. Does she live on her own and pay her own bills. I'm guessing no. I agree that op sucks. Why do these women always make everything about their new dh. Pathetic!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:18 PM FlagShe does live on her own and pay her own bills. And we've told her that she's allowed to do what she wants at her own place, but at our place, she needs to respect the rules.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:22 PM FlagSo she is not "allowed" to stay at her boyfriend's house even though she doesn't live with you? LOL!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:28 PM Flag-
You preach respect, but you're on here calling your daughter attention-grabbing, overreacting, and pretending to need moral support from her significant other when in reality you're sure that she just wants his dick. In her vagina. AFTER A SURGICAL PROCEDURE ON HER CERVIX. You can't have sex right after a cryo.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:39 PM Flag
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There are so many things wrong with this post and with you in general. I'm just wondering how you think it's possible to have a rule for your 20 yo that says she cannot stay the night at her boyfriend's house, even though she no longer lives with you. Talk about controlling?!?! You are so terrified of your husband that you would prevent your daughter from telling him some basic truths about her health. What is making you the most angry is that you have to justify why your daughter is not staying over? Grow a pair of balls and worry about your daughter instead of your husband!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:27 PM FlagA few issues. 1.). With the new pap smear guidelines, no one is supposed to be getting a pap smear before 21 so your gyn is not following proper guidelines to start with. 2.). Cryo is emotionally stressful and the recovery is painful 3.) It is illegal for this dr to discuss anything about your daughters care with you (HIPPA) so either you are fake or he is an awful doctor. Either way, if my mother chose her husbands anxiety over helping me through a cancer scare, I would never speak to her again.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:44 PM FlagI don't know what you are talking about because she's been getting a pap smear since she was 16 and you are most definitely supposed to get an annual pap smear if you are sexually active. Recovery is very simply and things are only as emotionally stressful as you allow them to be. I didn't discuss the specifics of my daughter's situation with my doctor, I simply called to have her discuss what occurs during a cryo and the recovery/treatment.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:25 PM FlagNot true. No paps under 21 regardless of sexual activity and pals only every 2 years 21-29 and every 3 years over 30 with no history of abnormal paps. Here's the link: http://www.asccp.org/ConsensusGuidelines/tabid/7436/Default.aspx. I'm an OB/GYN and I wouldn't have told you a thing with out your daughters permission - it's a HIPPA violation.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:37 PM FlagAgain, you must have gone to a crappy med school, so whatever. I didn't discuss my daughter's case. I simply called the office to discuss what occurs during a cryo. And, my daughter has been getting a pap ever year since she was 16. This is the first time I've ever heard of someone stating that it should only occur every 2 years+.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:04 PM FlagNope. Not a crappy med school. A good one that taught me to practice evidence based medicine. The guidelines are clear in the link I posted. Your gyn is choosing to go against guidelines - he's going with his opinion rather than the evidence - risky business.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:18 PM Flag
so you allow news of your daughter's health to be emotionally stressful to your DH but you won't allow your daughter's medical procedure to be stressful to her? double standard much?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:39 PM FlagMy husband has a mental illness so we must tread carefully with him. My daughter and I do not need to take the same precautions.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:06 PM Flagi like how you've decided for your daughter that she does not need any emotional support
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:23 PM FlagFor having PREcancerous cells? No, I don't think the world stops for that and everyone I spoke to assured me that it was totally common. I should have just written that she had an abnormal pap smear and then everyone would have responded differently, instead, you all are clinging to one word.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:30 PM Flag
I don't get why your daughter wasn't allowed to mention it to your DH, since all of your posts stress how NOT a big deal this was, and how your daughter is completely fine and the procedure was the smallest thing ever? If it is so not a big deal, why the secrecy?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:49 PM FlagFirst of all, I think this is fake. But if it's real, then you must be an awful mother and human being. While it's true this procedure isn't uncommon, it can still be terrifying, especially to a 20-year old. I've had two friends who had this procedure in their early 20s and both were terried -- they spent weeks online researching all of the worst case scenarios and cried and cried over it. Are you so sure your daughter hasn't be crying herself to sleep every night like my friends did, thinking she might have cancer? I also had the procedure at an older age, and I was also terried but for a different reason. Did you know that if the results of the cryo are bad, and you need a further procedure (forget the name), they actually lop off the bottom part of your cervix? Which can increase the chances of miscarriage. And if you need that procedure more than once (not entirely unlikely since your daughter is so young), that greatly increases the chances of not being able to carry a child to full term. That is fairly scary. Not that you deserve to be in any future grandchild's life anyway.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:50 PM FlagIt's unusual to do cryo as a first step anymore. She doesn't have a good doctor, you live somewhere backward (you certainly are!) or there's more going on than one bad PAP.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:58 PM FlagThis is such a strange post. I usually don't call fake, but there are so many strange details, and OP is so hostile, I at least hope it's fake. Plus, nobody would really be this upset- main point of all of this mind you, that her adult daughter slept at her boyfriend's. She is being fat to defensive of he silly rule, for this to be a real person that really thinks this way.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:27 PM FlagI am upset because of all the drama it caused. It's 11pm and my daughter is not home. My husband wants to know where she is and I have to tell him, I don't know. I was hoping that she would change her mind and come home. He gets upset and anxious and tells me that he's going to call the police. He was worried to death that something might have happened to her. I tell him that she's staying the night at her boyfriends. My husband becomes livid and tries calling her - no answer. He tells me that he's going over to his apartment and is even saying that he's going to fight the kid because he knows what our rules are about sleepovers. He found it terribly disrepectful. I then spent an hour trying to calm him down and he's cursing and pissed. Finally, I get a hold of her boyfriend and he tells me that she's sleeping but that they will be over at 6am. Then, Sunday morning, she's here, crying and yelling about us controlling her life. The neighbors are listening to this. She runs to her room, packs her suitcase and says that she won't be coming home anymore. My husband is about to have a heart attack. She's causing a huge scene in the hall by not coming back to the apartment. Her boyfriend is trying to calm down my husband and my husband slaps him in the chest. This causes my daughter to start crying and yelling.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:35 PM FlagFinally, I get a hold of her boyfriend and he tells me that she's sleeping but that they will be over at 6am. Then, Sunday morning, she's here, crying and yelling about us controlling her life. The neighbors are listening to this. She runs to her room, packs her suitcase and says that she won't be coming home anymore. My husband is about to have a heart attack. She's causing a huge scene in the hall by not coming back to the apartment. Her boyfriend is trying to calm down my husband and my husband slaps him in the chest. This causes my daughter to start crying and yelling.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:38 PM FlagHer boyfriend acts as mediator and finally gets everyone back into the apartment. I am pissed, but my daughter and husband have started to calm down. My husband apologizes, my daughter laughs it off and we tell her that she can spend the rest of the weekend at her boyfriend's if she'd like and she does. So, she got everything that she wanted.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:39 PM FlagSounds like your husband is abusive, you are horribly controlling of your daughter, and then after a massive fight that I probably would have called the police on if I'd witnessed, you laugh it off and tell you daughter she can have her way. Newsflash: she doesn't need your permission to have her way. She is an adult, who pays her own bills (according to you). She didn't make a scene here- your husband did.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:43 PM Flag
You put your husband before your daughter and offered little support. Why would she come home to stay with you, so she can feel worse than she already did. I'd be mighty pissed at you if I were her.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:28 PM FlagI think you're all being assholes to OP. Big deal she said 'dont tell dad'. Im sure it wasnt the first time! I grew up with that phrase embedded in my mind, and we were told it for various reasons.... To not upset him, to not disappoint him, to not let him know the real price of something. That comment doesnt make her a terrible mom. Its not like she is saying that dad will be mad that you have precancerous cells. She didnt want dad to be upset. Lighten up idiots. Daughter is also 20 and at that 'i can do it myself stage' maybe she thought it was no big deal. Did she say why she slept at bfs?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:42 PM FlagHi, OP. She slept at her boyfriends because she was likely upset after having her cryo, and wasn't allowed to talk about her feelings at home. She wasn't having sex, because that is contraindicated after a cryo (and painful!!). You brushed aside her worries and told her she wasn't allowed to talk about them, and then got mad at her for following your wishes.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:44 PM Flag
OP: To make it clear here's what was awful. Your 20 year old daughter got test results that had the phrase "pre-cancerous" in them and had to have a painful procedure - possibly the first in her life. Regardless of "the stats" this is a huge deal for a 20 year old; it touches on mortality, on reproduction, a whole bunch of things. You completely ignored her feelings. At the same time you asked her to not tell your DH. Clearly you are way more concerned with his bipolar etc. than your daughter - don't think she doesn't know it. I also I think you don't really believe it's not HPV related and you are engaged in shaming her about her sexuality/issues with 'private areas'/boyfriend. Regardless, you completely misstepped. If you want any hope of repairing your relationship with YOUR DAUGHTER you should apologize and get counselling asap. The drama was your fault.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:51 PM FlagThe daughter has an amazing, supportive BF who not only supports her when she needs it, but has the maturity to stand between her and her crazy, abusive family and even to act as mediator. What a guy. I think she should marry him and never speak to her birth family again. I want to adopt them both! This mother makes me want to vomit. Hoping this is fake.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:26 PM FlagNews flash OP - When asked where your daughter is do not cryptically say "I don't know" in a way that will upset your anxious bi-polar husband. You could have told the truth (a friend) without the details and avoid the whole as you call it Drama fest. But I certainly don't blame you daughter for staying away for a while, a long while. You are trying to control a 20 year old like a 16 year old and it will only be bad.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:34 PM FlagI don't lie to my husband. It's not a place that I want to be placed in. She forced me to deal with HER drama when she left with no explanation to her father. If she wants to act like an adult, then she needs to tell her father that she won't be staying the night at our place and she'll be staying with her boyfriend. Instead, she sneaked away like she was doing something wrong - which she was. And she only told me that she was going to be spending the night with him because she knew that I would be easier on her than my husband would have been.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:46 PM FlagNo she didn't. She put you exactly in the place you wanted to be- the martyr. She said "I am having a medical procedure", and you said basically that you didn't care. She said "I'm going to my boyfriend's", and she left. You were the one who chose to tell your husband. It's interesting that you wanted your daughter to practice selective honesty with your DH to spare his feelings, but you refused to practice selective honesty with him. Why? Because you were mad at your daughter and wanted to get back at her. You don't care about lying to your husband. Not telling a man that his daughter is undergoing a medical procedure like a cryo is the same thing as lying.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:08 PM Flag
OP, you must, after all this, see how you handled this terribly wrong? Please, think a little more about your daughter's feelings, and not always just of your husband. Even, sometimes maybe, in her favor, bend to sometimes take her side, just because she is your darling daughter.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:36 PM FlagX3. This is your daughter. Your baby. She was scared, she had to be. Please just show her some love.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:39 PM FlagNo, everyone on here just loves to get hysterical. It is a routine and common procedure. I have to worry about my husband, who is mentally ill, and how he would overreact concerning the situation. She has to add drama to the situation by breaking a house rule and leaving me to pick up the pieces. Then, she comes home with her boyfriend, causes a huge scene that nearly throws my husband into a full blown anxiety attack.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:10 PM Flagno, you have to worry about your daughter. who had precancerous cells. who had a painful medical procedure. who you told to shut up and move on, so you could focus on your precious husband. why can your husband get special attention when you don't feel your daughter merits it?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:20 PM Flag
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[+] Is pertussis common at age 5? There's been two cases in my daughter's public elementa... 5 replies
- effective - they just don't work for some people or they couldn't get the vaccination because of allergies to eggs (they use egg whites in the vaccine, I think) or because the parents didn't vaccinate....
- I think the vaccination is only 80% effective, so it's super important that we all get vaccinated. My MD...
Talk : : December 06, 2011
[+] What are other examples of "tinfoil hat paranoia" besides vaccinating? 35 replies
Talk : : December 03, 2011
What are other examples of "tinfoil hat paranoia" besides vaccinating?
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.03.11, 07:58 AM Flag ]-
Thinking of your nanny as a stranger and being disgusted when she kisses DC.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:05 AM FlagSaying "No" or telling a kid he's being a brat will "break his spirit".
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:14 AM FlagIf your DC doesn't drink organic water they will get some dreadful disease.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:21 AM Flag-
Preservative avoidance. "Oh, don't eat that food- it's full of preservatives!" Yeah, shut up, one lunchmeat sandwich isn't going to give my kid cancer.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:26 AM Flag-
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Hah, yes. My BiL won't have a microwave in their home. Thinks they give off dangerous energy.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 11:01 AM FlagI would not be a bit surprised if down the road we discover that lots of damaging "energy" or whatever is emitted from microwaves and many other electronics. But I live now and not in the future. Avoiding all these conveniences out of pure speculation is silly. Maybe one day we'll figure out all the answers and live to be 500 years old. Until then, I'll take my hot food in 2 minutes and 80 years or so on earth.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 11:12 AM Flag
Saying no one is bad, but "unhappy" or "not behaving". Car seats expiring after 5 years. Baby food after age 2.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 11:14 AM FlagCar seats actually do expire after 6 years. The plastic loses it's elasticity and it becomes more brittle, and unable to fully absorb the impact from a crash. That's not tinfoil hat, it's fact.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 11:32 AM Flagoooook. lol. If this were true, why wouldn't other parts of cars expire after 6 years? Why don't we have to change dashboards and seat belts? You do realize there's no law about car seats expiring. This is all a ploy of the manufacturers to sell more car seats.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 11:45 AM FlagThis is from the internet--not sure if I believe it: * Technology Improves and Standards Change. A good example of this is that back in 2002 car seats were not even equipped with Lower Anchor and Tethers for Children (LATCH). Now however, they are a standard feature in nearly all car seats. Car seat expiration dates ensure that seats being used are current and up to snuff. * Materials Wear Down. Car seats were not made to last forever. Overtime the seat base can develop hairline fractures which may shatter in a crash, and belts can become slightly elastic after years of use. Crash test videos provide a chilling example of how these materials can fail in a devastating manner. * Only Tested for a Certain Period. After a certain amount of time, manufacturers do not test seats. They cannot attest to how older seats will perform in an accident.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 12:13 PM FlagWhile I have no idea if this expiration thing is correct (np), it would not be that weird for the belts in a car to be made out of a stronger, pricier material. They are part of a much bigger, pricey item and overall are a much smaller piece. Using the same material for a carseat could just not be worth is as it would be cost prohibitive. I have no idea if this is correct, just saying your logic isn't exactly perfect without knowing a lot more about the construction of both.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 12:15 PM Flag
Refusing to give a child even a single bottle of formula, ever.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 02:12 PM Flagnp: You know, I don't mind if people don't give formula because they're bf-ing and it's going fine. But when they act like one bottle will be like rat poison and drop their kid's IQ by 20 points, I think it's a little nuts. It's like saying one hamburger from McDonalds is going to give you heart disease.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 02:59 PM Flag
[+] any parents who do not vaccinate. any issues getting into private or public schools 37 replies
- if a parent is somehow excused from having to vaccinate their child, for whatever reason, the school should inform...that there has to be something wrong that as vaccine requirement increase, so does autism and other chldhood ilnesses...
- obviously not to countries where vaccines are required with visas....
- be dangerous to infants that have not received full vaccinations yet, and to anyone in the general community with...
Talk : : December 02, 2011
any parents who do not vaccinate. any issues getting into private or public schools
37 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.02.11, 06:01 PM Flag ]Public school- You have to prove it's for religion at our school or your kid can't stay enrolled in school.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 06:17 PM Flag-
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It's not safe for the other kids to have unvaccinated children around
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 06:44 PM Flag-
not necessarily. the vaccines are not 100% effective. it's a herd thing, if everyone gets vaccinated then most people will be immune which will stop the spread of the diseases and those who aren't immune will hopefully never come into contact with it. I am not immune to measles even though I've been vaccinated several times in my life. The antibodies just never get created in my body.
[ Reply | More ]12.04.11, 12:59 AM Flag
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Why would anyone not vaccinate? I'm not a fan of the schedule and some of the shots - but I don't think any are harmful and most are pretty effective.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:31 PM FlagBecause they are idiots. This honestly makes me so mad. It's tin-foil-hat paranoia excused by a cover of Momism. It's an opinion founded in hype and zero medical or scientific knowledge. It really makes my blood boil! Society is so much better off thanks to our advances in controlling or wiping out what used to be devastating diseases. Polio, measles, etc. ... It really makes me sad that we have the luxury to be ungrateful or nonparticipatory about vaccines. Polio was common just ONE generation ago.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 02:16 AM Flag
I think that if a parent is somehow excused from having to vaccinate their child, for whatever reason, the school should inform the other parents that not all the children are vaccinated! I feel that I should be able to assume that all the kids in my kids school are vaccinated and if they are not then there is a heightened health risk that I should be informed of so that I can make the choice of whether or not to expose my kid to that risk. Shame on Parents who do not vaccinate!
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 08:49 PM Flagwow; you never want or expect your dcs to leave this country?
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 09:00 PM Flag-
np w/question: if my child has been vaccinated, why would being near unvaccinated child be dangerous?
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 09:44 PM FlagGenerally speaking, it wouldn't be dangerous to your vaccinated child. It would be dangerous to infants that have not received full vaccinations yet, and to anyone in the general community with compromised immune systems (and there are A LOT of these people --- the elderly, anyone suffering from a chronic condition, anyone receiving chemo). It is a public health issue.
[ Reply | More ]12.04.11, 12:57 AM Flag
Any school that is lax on its vaccination policy is asking for trouble. The more unvaccinated kids in the school, the more likely an out break. If you don't vaccinate you want to stay far away from other unvaccinated kids.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 07:04 AM Flaghow is it that the amish population which does not vaccinate remain disease free and have such low incidence of autism, and don't have these crazy outbreak. Sometime we look too much to scientific evidence. if the drug company are commissioning these test, then duh, there will be no scientific link, but simple common sense can tell us that there has to be something wrong that as vaccine requirement increase, so does autism and other chldhood ilnesses
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 07:47 PM Flagwhere are you from originally? assuming you are not fake, you really need to do some research on this. In one country (Denmark?), they found that rates of autism increased after the mercury was taken out of vaccines (mercury was thought to be the culprit). The one study that showed a link between autism and vax was debunked.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:07 PM Flag
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I have doubts about your amish example. they may have low rates of disease b/c they are an insular community, but they have all sorts of other issues. They probably don't sent their kids to regular school, so they don't get diagnosed with autism. But I think you're a faker anyway.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 08:09 PM Flag
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[+] Does this sound like a bug or food poisoning - had sharp pains in stomach 3 replies
- older DC don't have any symptoms, and the only thing I ate yesterday that deviated from my regular diet was a soy latte from Starbucks, so I am worried it's a virus and am concerned about 11 wo DB (who coincidentally got rotavirus vaccine yesterday). Other than bathing in Purell, any tips for keeping everyone else healthy? TIA...
Talk : : December 01, 2011
Does this sound like a bug or food poisoning - had sharp pains in stomach
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.01.11, 05:35 AM Flag ]UGH I hate this laptop...then bad GI upset all night. DH and older DC don't have any symptoms, and the only thing I ate yesterday that deviated from my regular diet was a soy latte from Starbucks, so I am worried it's a virus and am concerned about 11 wo DB (who coincidentally got rotavirus vaccine yesterday). Other than bathing in Purell, any tips for keeping everyone else healthy? TIA
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 05:37 AM Flagthis dosent help you at all, but my db was 6 weeks old (shes 12 weeks now) we both came down with an incredibly bad stomach virus. I ended up in the ER, dehydrated and in massive amounts of pain and had the runs for a full 7 days. The poor db must have pooped 100 times in 5 days, it was terrible. That said, she was fine, switched her to pedialyte until the bug passed, that seemed to help a lot. She didnt seem to be in as much pain as i was. We graciously thanked my 4 yo for bringing this lovely thing home.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:30 AM Flag
[+] I am thinking of replacing my nanny of one year since my requirements have changed. M... 173 replies
- crazy you think freezing food somehow makes food not nutritious anymore. I mean, you are objectively wrong, and I think people are just stunned you don't seem to care. It's kind of like if you came on stating that the earth was flat or vaccines cause autism....
Talk : : November 30, 2011
I am thinking of replacing my nanny of one year since my requirements have changed. My baby has started on table food and I really want someone who can cook a wholesome meal as my son starts to grow. I dont want to raise him on home delivery and frozen or canned stuff. Home made chicken and rice and veggies etc is what I want. Is it easy to get a nanny who cooks?
173 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.30.11, 03:49 PM Flag ]Yes, but be sure you make that clear when you advertise the position. Also, you may want to test her before you hire her.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:53 PM FlagYes thanks. Another thing. Is it okay to expect her to cook a little extra too since my son and I will be eating the same thing? My son naps twice a day and she will have plenty of time to prepare a wholesome meal.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:56 PM FlagGive her a break. She doesn't have to work every second; especially if it means she'll take on additional gig cooking for you
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:05 PM FlagSorry but these are important to me. I rather look out now for a new one with these requirements and see what choices I get. I dont want to regret later.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:07 PM FlagYou want a personal chef, get one. Your nanny shouldn't cook every day for you
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:11 PM FlagLOL OP, this is an entitled nanny you're arguing with. the job is what you say the job is. tell your nanny you're changing the job and let her know if she wants it, she can have it, otherwise you're going to look for someone else. if you want someone to clip your toenails and watch your kid, then that's the job you advertise for. people may not want the job, but that's another matter. cooking for your kid and you is NOT unreasonable. both of the 2 nannies i have had (including the lazier and more entitled one) would have been happy to do this. so obviously the nanny who's arguing with you is especially lazy and entitled.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:23 PM Flag-
She should do what you ask her. The person above is a nanny. Nannies are dime a dozen and I gotta tell you if you pay full time they make a lot of money. Much more than their husbands usualy get paid. So asking her to cook is fine.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 04:40 AM FlagI am not a nanny. My nanny does cook for me on occasion but honestly, I didn't hire her to cook for me. It's great that she does it, and I appreciate it, but it's not part of job description. Her job is to look after my child, not 'feed' into my eating issues.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:54 AM Flagmaybe op you should call your nanny something else like a helper so that these rigid people who don't understand the concept of paid help can get it through their heads that the employers want to pay someone to do the job that they request and that they do not want to pay someone to do the job that that person wants to do. if the work ethic of the people posting on here is any indication of the work ethic of the country at large then it's no wonder this country is in trouble.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:46 PM Flag
there's really no point in asking questions if when you get an answer you don't like you basically say you'll do what you want to anyway.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:14 PM FlagYes I will. Useless posting here since all you women constantly seem to be on the offensive. Very unhappy and negative people you are.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:20 PM FlagYou ask "is it ok ..." and when someone replies saying it isn't OK you say you'll look for a new nanny meeting these requirements. That's fine, you can employ or fire whomever you want. There just doesn't seem to be any reason to ask if it's OK if you will only accept one answer.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:37 PM Flag
Not a nanny here, but someone who has hired nannies. Keep your priorities straight. You want someone who is going to take care of your kid, first and foremost, whatever that means. You don't want to communicate that what you want is a chef who will cook for you, too. I'd actually hire someone separate to do the cooking - you can get someone cheaper and you will be able to be clear with yourself and with your nanny about what you want.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:05 AM FlagI don't agree at all. If you want a nanny who will cook for your kids, that is 100% straight up what you are entitled to. Many nannies do everything related to childcare including cooking. It's not any harder to cook for 5 than for 2. It's not like the poster is asking her to make elaborate meals. Just make a little extra mac and cheese. No big deal.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 12:13 PM Flag
If you are otherwise happy with the nanny, why not cook on Sunday for the week?
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:56 PM FlagOur weekends schedules are super busy trying to spend some quality time with baby and finishing errands etc so there is no time at all to cook. Also, read above that I want to avoid frozen food
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:58 PM FlagGet Anabel Karmel. Her recipes are like 20 min. Also do you expect her to cook like 2 oz chicken each day?
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:00 PM Flag-
We go out on weekends and its fine to eat out over the weekends. Cant believe the craziness of this board that they try to force their stupid parenting styles on you.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:17 PM FlagThe science of freezing a freshly made meal is NOT a dispute over parenting style
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:46 PM FlagThis is not a discussion about freezing food. This has become a nanny discussion once again.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:16 PM Flagit started as a nanny discussion with OP asking if she could find a nanny who will cook.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:24 PM Flag
You are confusing frozen food and frozen meals. Frozen food from the grocery store is full of preservatives and chemicals. Frozen meals are just meals that have been frozen. If the nanny is cooking for a baby or a toddler, she will need to freeze some or she will be cooking and/or throwing food away every day.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:03 PM Flagexactly. I cook just about everything db eats but of course I freeze.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:06 PM FlagAgain, not comfortable with anything frozen. Did not grow up with any frozen food and if I can get someone to cook on a daily basis even if it means additional dollars, I rather go with that option.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:09 PM Flag-
You are crazy to suggest I change my requirements and how I want to raise my kid. You can go ahead and feed your kids crap and frozen stuff and be happy. I refuse to do that and its my choice. If you are not comfortable having anyone cook for you its your choice too but dont try to force your choices on me.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:15 PM Flag
Did you have freezers in the land where you grew up? Perhaps you are not so familiar with freezers, I think you are misconstruing this idea of "frozen food."
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:43 PM Flag-
Our nanny buys prepared foods from wholefoods, citarella etc. We put together a menu for DD at the beginning of the week and then she does the shopping. She is able to cook but only ever prepared crap so this was the compromise we reached.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:08 PM Flag-
Not easy, but you can find someone. Just know that when your baby is a bit older, you'll again need to change requirements, as less napping means less time to cook. We had to do this, and it was a real bummer bc I also really wanted the person to cook for kid w/ a bit of extra for grownup. But I knew that she needed some downtime, and that it was too much. Now w/ kids in school part-time, she's back to doing more cooking. But make sure to prescreen on the phone for it, as many nannies won't touch cooking.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:24 PM FlagOP, I know a woman who worked ft as did her dh and she hired a local culinary student to come once a week and make a ton of healthy, yummy meals that she'd portion up, freeze, etc. If otherwise this is a great nanny, could you look into something like this? It was very cheap, like 100 bucks PLUS ingredients, the student really worked with the family to come up with menus. (Also, then your nanny can do the "extras" like cutting up fruit and cooking veggies, the VERY easy stuff.)
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:40 PM Flagop: I TOLD you I will not serve db frozen crap! Once you put it in the freezer it is no longer nutritious!!!
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:51 PM Flagnp: this is crazy. i'm a nutritionist. why do you think freezing things is bad?
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:02 PM FlagCan you force someone to chow down frozen food? I am looking for a nanny who can make fresh food everyday. End of discussion
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:05 PM FlagWell no I'd reheat it first. Frozen food is hard to chew on (but just as nutritious!)
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:08 PM Flaghuh? obviously i don't want to force you to eat frozen food. i'm just telling you that freezing food doesn't remove all the nutrients, as you seem to believe. you know people have looked at this pretty exhaustively, right? it's not like there is an absence of data.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:15 PM FlagRead my post and replied. Some idiot starting talking about nutrition. I want fresh food since that is what I grew up on and most of my friends' kids eat home made fresh food. My preference and what I am looking for in a nanny. I cannot force you or your nanny to cook for you everyday since that is your choice. It does not work for me, so let go.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:36 PM FlagNP. Seriously, you are a piece of work! I love that you like to say "That is my preference" and "End of discussion" as if that absolves you of having an IQ of 85. You might as well say that you want a nanny who will perform a ritualized goat slaughter for the sake of your child's health, and you don't care if there's no real value in it because *That is your preference! End of discussion!* I actually think you were raised on lead paint chips, not fresh food.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 08:49 PM Flag
^^Hey idiot-do you go into the kitchens of the restaurants....I am sure they have a lot of frozen crap.....lmao
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:16 PM FlagNot necessarily frozen meals, but just so you know - vegetables flash frozen just after cooking are generally MORE nutritious than any fresh vegetables you can get here in NYC. So, unless you live on a farm, you're depriving your little snowflake of full nutritional value.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:44 PM Flag
I'm sure if you pay enough you'll find somebody who is willing to do this. BUT - I think you to ask yourself some honest questions about what it means to hand over cooking for your child to somebody else, since you seem to have very strong opinions about how your kid eats. Do you want to buy the food and then let her decide how/what to prepare? That means you're making the menu decisions and she needs to be able to cook what you want. Or do you want her to make things she knows how to prepare and give you a shopping list - means you'll have to reach some comfort with foods other than what you might envision as ideal for your kid. Food is such a huge issue for many parents (moms) and it sounds like it is for you too. I'm worried about a power struggle with a nanny who cooks for you. I'm a working mom, I know it's hard to fit it all in. But honestly I find it simpler to cook simple healthy meals myself, and involve my kids in the prep too.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:48 PM FlagI have someone to recommend. Are you willing to post an email or any other way to contact you?
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:49 PM FlagIamacoodnut@crazynuts.com
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:54 PM FlagI don't see why OP is being attacked. My nanny does alot, including cooking, and she is amazing with the kids.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:00 PM Flagfirst of all, she is firing a nanny her db presumably loves over cooking, and second she doesn't understand what happens in a freezer.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:04 PM FlagYou dont need to talk on my behalf. Its my decision not to give my child frozen food. If I can get someone to cook regularly, that is my preference. I dont care what food you give to your kids and you shouldnt care about what food I prefer to give to my child. End of discussion
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:07 PM FlagI could not care less what you do, I'm explaining why you are a nut.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:20 PM Flag-
Np: I feel sorry for your db, am disturbed by your indifference to db's feelings. As if caregivers are interchangeable.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:43 PM Flag
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The nanny being fired is the only one who wins in this whole scenario.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 04:55 PM FlagOP here: You women are crazy and its useless asking opinions here. Sometimes you say that make your requirements clear and then when I do make requirements clear, you bash me for it. Crazy people!!! I know I will find someone who can cook for me and my child, dont need to rely on your insane opinions.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:03 PM Flag-
People are really ragging on you, but it is pretty crazy you think freezing food somehow makes food not nutritious anymore. I mean, you are objectively wrong, and I think people are just stunned you don't seem to care. It's kind of like if you came on stating that the earth was flat or vaccines cause autism.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:07 PM FlagPlease read the posts to make sure what I have said and what people have 'made up' on my behalf. I said I am not comfortable with frozen food and my preference is fresh food on a daily basis. I dont see any point changing my preference or requirements just because of crazy people here.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:12 PM Flag
Go ahead call me names for trying to put fresh food on the table for my child. If the nanny doesnt want to do it then she does not have to take the job. Who the hell are you to dictate my requirements?
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:10 PM FlagI know you are making a joke because your crazy "I am from another country" syntax keeps changing. I was with you for a while, as our nanny is a wonderful cook and has cooked since our children were babies. She makes food for our kids and often for grown-ups, too -- healthy and delicious. She made fresh baby-food by pureeing the veggies and, wait, hold for it, FREEZING the leftovers in ice-cube containers so use later. It was great, much better than jars of food imo. But you are one arrogant, huffy, insane lady, hopefully a fakety fakester with your huffy puffy act. Nice going. Are you pretending to be some Russian oligarch or a queen from India or Spain? Can't place your syntax, all over the map.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:22 PM FlagAnd in all your travels and dining with the Russian Oligarchs and royalty from India and Spain, they only ever cared to feed you frozen stuff. Try fresh food for a change, you might just like it.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:33 PM FlagI don't know what you are talking about. Seriously. I have fresh food all the time. Where did you get that I don't? Because our nanny froze baby food? I hardly ever freeze food because we eat all of it and don't make extra. I just think you sound crazy. You are so arrogant and dismissive. I don't disagree with your content as much as your form. So off-putting and high-handed. Made me curious, what is your deal? My guess is, you are from a (possible 3rd world) country where servants could be had for cheap. Your clan cooked fresh food from the local village market daily and now you have arrive and are affluent here. Just curious.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:39 PM Flag
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While I don't agree with your freezer views, it's your right to raise your kids any way you want. Nothing wrong with wanting someone to cook, seriously. It's a free market - you describe exactly what you want and offer to pay for it. I am sure there will be nannies that will agree. Just be very very specific what you want cooked, make weekly menu ahead of time, buy all ingredients. You sound like a micro manager, so print the exact recipes so there is no confusion and disappointment later. And understand, that later when DB sleeps less, you may have to allow some TV for nanny to be able cook (and I assume clean up).
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:18 PM FlagIt seems to me that OP being selfish in enforcing this really minor issue of freezing freshly made food over the welfare of her child. We haven't heard anything else wrong with this nanny. I am concerned that she appears more concerned about the nanny not meeting HER needs and doesn't care if the nanny doesn't meet DC's needs.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:52 AM Flag
Yes, it is easy to get a nanny who cooks. A great nanny who cooks or does not cook may be less easy, but I had a very great nanny who cooked, and I wasn't even looking for that, but it turned out she loved to cook and was a very good cook. Almost every grown-up sitter I have had since, in part-time ways (not-college-kid, non-artist-sitting-until-big-break), has been very eager to cook. I think a lot of good grown nannies like to nurture and cook, and cooking can be fun. I think this part will be easy and nothing wrong with it. Your views on freezing fresh food are kind of hilarious, though.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:32 PM FlagCooking for the kids has always been part of my requirements and I have never had a difficulty finding a nanny that would do so. Some were excellent cooks, some were just ok (healthy homemade food, just a bit bland), but all were fine with doing it. The really good ones would also cook for the family from time to time, I'd have them come earlier or stay later (and pay for the extra hours). But cooking for the kids was part of the nanny's job. Why, wouldn't a SAHM cook food for her child on a daily basis or would you people say that she could not take good care of the child and at the same time cook for him?
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 12:22 PM Flag
I feel bad for your DC. You're going to have MAJOR issues once the school years hit and you can't control every mouthful.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:34 PM FlagTo be fair, she just wants a nanny who can cook chicken and rice. Her recipes are hardly fancy. Doesn't sound like she is looking for much, she just got a little crazy uppity about the frozen thing because she was confusing TV dinners with freezing a freshly cooked meal, but who cares.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 05:41 PM Flag
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I'm a nanny who loves to cook. If all you wanted was a nanny who cooked, I'd say you'd have no problem. However, since you seem totally insane, you might have a harder time finding the right match.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:55 PM FlagYou seem sensible and experienced. Please describe the nanny that you think would be a goood match for OP.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 10:16 PM FlagOR: I can't imagine her being happy with anyone. She will need someone to cook child friendly food that OP also enjoys eating. The food will have to adhere to an insane (and I'm just going to guess from past experience)constantly changing list of rules that the OP makes up. She will have to prepare every meal directly before the child eats it, which will be a problem unless her 1-year-old still takes conveniently placed naps a day. And (just making another educated guess here) she'll have to deal with constant criticism. I know the economy's bad right now, but there are a lot of BAD nanny jobs available. What's in demand are nanny jobs where you are treated with respect.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 12:04 AM FlagThe nanny would come with a food scale and spend half her day at Whole Foods buying only organic, locally sourced, gluten free foods for her DB. The DB will spend half the day crying in the shopping cart, but OP won't care. The nanny would then spend the other half of the day weighing the food down to the microgram, lest she commit the sin of having leftover food. My only hope for this kid is that it's a DS and not DD.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:01 AM Flag
The biggest problem I see is that you want fresh food for your child every day but you are not willing to cook it yourself on the weekends. Are you lowering your standards when the child is with you? Isn't the food you eat at the restaurant " home delivery " when you eat it at home ? I think a nanny could/ should cook for a child, but be reasonable- she can feed your child what you cooked Sunday on Mondays (you refrigerate, don't freeze), she can cook Tuesday and have same food Wednesday , maybe cook Thursday and feed Friday same food. But if you want a nanny who cooks every day, I'm sure you can find one.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 03:09 AM FlagYou're setting yourself up for a lot of wastage unless you want your kid to eat refrigerated leftovers the next day, but that doesn't sound like it. The only people I know with empty freezers are singletons who travel weeks at a time for work and mainly eat out.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:36 AM FlagTo the OP: 1) Yes, you can absolutely find a nanny who does this. You may have to adjust your pay, but there is nothing wrong with making this one of your requirements. Any requirement is fine so long as it's stated up front. 2) People here are confused by your statement that food loses it's nutrients when frozen. If you prepare a meal from scratch with fresh ingredients, then freeze a portion of the meal for later use you will not lose nutrients. Nutrients can be lost during reheating if you reheat something in a liquid, then discard the liquid. Otherwise there is nothing less nutritive about a dinner that has been frozen. It's completely fine if you don't want to ever freeze things. Just understand that you're making factually incorrect statements here, and that is what is frustrating people. If you never want your child's food frozen that is your call and I have no problem with it. You can ask people to respect your decision, but you can't make statements that are false and expect them to accept it as fact.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:50 AM FlagReally, this. I have no issues with the OP wanting the nanny to cook, but requiring said nanny to cook a freshly made meal EVERY DAY, because OP has some warped sense of refrigeration. A nanny's primary responsibility is the child, and I don't see how this is feasible every day. Also, I am concerned that she has yet to answer questions on her child and what the child prefers. If the child loves this nanny I would also hesitate to let someone go just because 1) OP is too lazy to cook 2) OP has weird freezer issues 3) OP is too cheap to hire someone to do this for her.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:04 AM Flag
Wouldn't your son miss the nanny you have, if you've had her for a year? Mine is only 16 months and he would be devastated. If she really can't cook something that simple, I'd invest in a cooking class or lesson before tryign to find someone else.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:34 AM FlagI'm a nanny who cooks fresh food each day for three kids (ages 9mos, 2.5 yrs, and 4 yrs). To answer your question: it won't necessarily be EASY to find a nanny who will cook to the specifications you outlined here, but you can certainly find someone who will do it. Be prepared for detailed interviews, and (if possible) be willing to offer a highly competitive salary (not saying you HAVE to go up salary wise, just saying it will make your search easier). Make a list of ALL your expectations for the nanny. Food and other stuff (laundry, playdates, etc.). Make sure that your expectations are reasonable. If food is a super high priority to you, that's fine. Convey that to the nanny. Just recognize that if you want that to be her highest priority there might be days when the laundry doesn't get done, or she doesn't spend much time at the park with db, etc. I juggle many responsibilities in my job. It's totally doable for the right person. But there are ALWAYS days when things get crazy and certain details have to get dropped. Be understanding of this, and be clear about what your highest priorities are. Also, I understand you do not want your child to eat food that has been frozen. You are incorrect about the nutritive effects of freezing food, but that's irrelevant. If you don't want his food frozen, that's totally fine. BUT you will need to think of some emergency "go-to" meals for days when things get crazy and time intensive cooking is not an option. In my job, I freeze individual portions of the larger meals I cook to reheat in these situations. If you don't want to do that, you need to think of another acceptable back-up option, as it's absolutely a guarantee that some days will require a fast, easy option. Your son will not be napping 2 times a day forever...not for much longer at all, actually. And there will be days when he's sick and the nanny is tied up in caring for him, or they're out shopping and a diaper blow out turns into a long clean up ordeal in a public bathroom, or they get locked out of the apartment on accident and have to wait for someone to bring a key, the dishwasher explodes and the nanny spends the afternoon mopping up the kitchen, etc. etc. etc. (these, btw are real life personal examples, haha). Those days will not happen constantly, but they happen and you should have realistic alternatives when these events arise. Assuming you like her, I would explain your needs to your current nanny in detail, and ask her if this is something she is interested in. You will likely have to adjust her pay, unless you plan to drop a lot of other responsibilities. If she is not interested, start interviewing others and be VERY clear about your expectations. If you find after many interviews that no one is interested you probably need to up your pay or lower the responsibilities. You can find someone who does these things. But you have to have reasonable expectations, and PLEASE have a grateful attitude. I bend over backwards for my boss on a daily basis because she appreciates me, and encourages me. If she did not, I'm sure I'd be far less motivated.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:50 AM FlagOP, how do you feel about your current nanny? If you really like her, and she is not interested in cooking an easier solution might be to hire a person to come in and cook. Have them come once a day for a couple hours. They could cook some items completely, and set other stuff up that you or the nanny finishes at the appropriate time ("put this chicken dish in the oven at 4:30PM", for example). Have you considered that route?
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:53 AM FlagOk, reading all these comments, I think that you have zero clue about how to take care of a child. It's one thing to want your nanny to cook for your child, our nanny will do it when I ask, she will also cook for us (sometimes without being asked). But your insistence that the nanny cook all meals from scratch right before they are to be eaten means that she would have to spend a large part of the day cooking, instead of being with your dc. You seem so focused on fresh meals, that you are oblivious to that fact. I've been both a SAHM and a WOHM, and I can tell you that nobody I know ever cooked every day while taking care of a small child. If you have this insane fear of frozen foods (scientifically, complete nonsense, btw), you or the nanny can cook something that can be refrigerated and warmed up (soups and stews work really well here). Your requirements are completely insane and the fact that you're willing to let go an otherwise good nanny that your dc is already used to in order to have this done, really does not speak well of you as a mother.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 01:03 PM FlagNanny here: I first thought this was fake, but the more I think about this post, the more I realize how smiler she is to my old boss. While I was allowed to freeze and reheat food (once). The child was on a (non doctor recommended)gluten, dairy, citrus free, low salt, all organic diet. She was also a complete germaphobe/hypochondriac with old world beliefs about how ailments were cured and transmitted.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 04:13 PM FlagIt's probably easier to take half a day off work and take your nanny grocery shopping to show her the types of ingredients you prefer and then give her a few basic cooking lessons and access to a few websites with interesting recipes and instructions for beginners.
[ Reply | More ]12.03.11, 09:28 AM Flag
[+] Did you get the flu shot? I should but keep procrastinating. 18 replies
- Yes, I got it a month ago at Duane Reed. My insurance doesn't cover Duane Reed as a flu vaccine provider, so the pharmacist waived the charge and I got it for free, which was very cool....
Talk : : November 22, 2011
Did you get the flu shot? I should but keep procrastinating.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.22.11, 07:26 PM Flag ]
[+] 2 1/2 yo has little cold-runny/stuffy nose and for past 2 days has been doing this we... 18 replies
- Hate to ask but does he have all his vaccines? Bc this sounds like the beginning of whooping...
- You do realize there's no vaccine for pneumonia, right? It's an escalated lung...children and it's coming back because the vaccine only works for 3 years. My kids are...it's not deadly. Not advocating for not vaccinating either - just rolling my eyes that this...
- of course there is at least one vaccine for pneumonia! what do you think the pneumococcal...
Talk : : November 21, 2011
2 1/2 yo has little cold-runny/stuffy nose and for past 2 days has been doing this weird panting thing every once in a while during the day. when i ask are you ok he just stops. he is sleeping now and breathing sounds normal. visit to the MD or some odd thing he is doing ? no strange color in face, etc.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.21.11, 07:37 PM Flag ]Maybe itchy throat? Mine used to clear his throat where it sounded like he was strangling.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:38 PM Flag-
Sorry to hear that! Hate to ask but does he have all his vaccines? Bc this sounds like the beginning of whooping cough or a pneumonia
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:43 PM FlagI dub thee alarmist mom. OP, if DS is breathing fine while sleeping and can adjust to normal breathing while awake - he's probably experimenting with attention-getting behavior. Watch him closely and bring him to the dr. if he spikes a fever that you can't control w/ Tylenol or the cough gets worse.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:49 PM FlagOR above. This is an easy thing to rule out, but we have no idea what OP has focused on in terms of vaccines. So it's totally fir to ask the question. Not alarmist at all. It's the season for respiratory infections.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:52 PM FlagYou do realize there's no vaccine for pneumonia, right? It's an escalated lung infection. Whopping cough isn't killing any healthy children and it's coming back because the vaccine only works for 3 years. My kids are fully vaccinated - I just can't stand the vaccine debate - so much misinformation on both sides.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:59 PM Flagnp - my parents and my grandma all just had whopping cough. It's NASTY! At times they each felt like they couldn't breathe and even for educated adults who are well aware of symptoms they said that it was very scary. I wouldn't want my child to experience this. Vaccines aside, it's a quick test and if it's whopping cough then child needs antibiotics ASAP and the sooner you get them the better.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:18 PM Flagof course there is at least one vaccine for pneumonia! what do you think the pneumococcal vaccine does? prevents infections with Pneumococcus, which can give a host of infections from otitis to pneumonia and meningitis. some viral diseases can give pneumonias, too (chicken pox in adults, which can be severe).
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:24 PM Flag
OP: thanks for all replies-some amusing ones too. he does have all vaccinations. we are a pretty low drama family but i like the thought of being histrionic. sounds like a new me.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:53 PM Flag-
[+] I can't stand when people use the phrase "My ped told me xxx..." so it must be true. ... 14 replies
Talk : : November 21, 2011
I can't stand when people use the phrase "My ped told me xxx..." so it must be true. Pediatricians are excellent resources and great at their jobs but lets be honest, their jobs are to diagnose and treat medical conditions in people under the age of 18. They are rarely schooled in Nutrition, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, baby sleeping, swaddling, vaccines, etc. So many people rely on the ped's advice about those subjects but the advice is usually anecdotal and typically based on that specific ped's experience. Granted, their experience with kids/babies is great compared to many FTMs but many take their ped's word as absolute gospel, which it is certainly not.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.21.11, 07:47 AM Flag ]If they are like me, they probably just say that to shut up the people who are giving them unsolicited advice. It's easier for me to say that my ped advised me to do something, than to say that I just prefer to do XYZ.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 07:55 AM FlagI totally agree. My father is a psychologist who has spent his entire career studying infants, anxiety in children and sleep issues. My 30 year old pediatrician constantly disagreed with my approach and pushed for cry it out. I ignored her and my father's advice worked beautifully. I just roll my eyes.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:04 AM FlagIt depends on the topic and on the ped. My ped also teaches on some topics so he is very up to date on the research. He also seems to stay on top of other research and usually tells us on what is ideas are based (sometimes it is just what he sees). And there is a great deal of research on most of the things OP lists.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:04 AM FlagI wonder if people are saying this to you all the time b/c you sound so judgey and annoying. I use that line with my MIL once in a while to nicely shut her up -- liike "well, our ped said X" and hope that will keep her from insisting on giving me her advice for an hour. So if people are doing this to you all the time, you *may* be bugging the hell out of them
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:12 AM FlagExactly! I'm the person right above you and I only ever say, "my ped says" when someone is trying to talk me into doing what they are doing or did. "Why is your 3 year old still rear facing mine faced forward before 1?" "I think you should space out the vac more..." Who made you judge of all other parents everywhere?
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:16 AM FlagHa, so funny. Me too. I've ONLY ever said "well, my ped says..." to mother in law! I rarely stops her, though.
[ Reply | More ]11.21.11, 08:29 AM Flag
[+] To all the registered republicans on this board: I am really curious about your react... 30 replies
- Really? Why not? Defend your answer. I don't see any democrats telling us that the HPV vaccine causes retardation, that evolution is an "idea that's out there," that global warming is a lie, that tax cuts will somehow magically morph into bigger government revenue when this canard has been proven false over and over again. Democrats, intellectually,...
Talk : : November 19, 2011
To all the registered republicans on this board: I am really curious about your reaction to your party's primary season thus far. From the gaffes to the lies to the flip-flops to the blatant hypocrisy, how can you take any of these clowns seriously?
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.19.11, 05:06 PM Flag ]I'm excited. this stupid show will win Mitt the presidency!
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:09 PM FlagBut isn't it upsetting to you that it is, as you say, the stupid show? What has happened to republican self-respect? The party belongs to the idiots now.
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:13 PM FlagI don't really consider democrats to be a party of intellectuals....
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:15 PM FlagReally? Why not? Defend your answer. I don't see any democrats telling us that the HPV vaccine causes retardation, that evolution is an "idea that's out there," that global warming is a lie, that tax cuts will somehow magically morph into bigger government revenue when this canard has been proven false over and over again. Democrats, intellectually, have all the winning arguments.
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:18 PM FlagYou are talking about the extremists, you have crazies in your party too...
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:19 PM FlagI'm not talking about extremists! I'm talking about the people who lead your party and and running to be president of this country!!!!!
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:20 PM Flag
to all the registered Democrats on the Board: arent you embarassed that you elected a do-nothing incompetent who has as his one accomplishment thus far is that he has played golf 80 days of his presidency?
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:22 PM FlagObama's accomplishments: the 40% of Americans who do not have health care currently will be insured, and the country will save money in the bargain. The end of the war in Iraq and the drawing down of troops in Afghanistan. The death of Bin Laden. I could go on and on
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:25 PM Flag-
I've really liked his accomplishments thus far. I wish he could have done more, but for some, he couldn't get through Congress and for others, yes, he let me down.
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:31 PM FlagLook at the reality of the situation. Obama was only able to do anything in his first two years when the deems controlled both houses of congress. Since the republicans took over the house, they have been determined to defeat EVERYTHING, even things they voted for before, like raising the debt ceiling and extending unemployment benefits. Those votes were always pro forma but now their sole determination is to defeat Obama, even if it means throwing more people into poverty, even bringing the whole country down. The only way for this country to get out of this mess is for Obama to be reelected and for the dems to control all of congress again.
[ Reply | More ]11.19.11, 05:35 PM Flag
[+] hi. 2 part question here: (1) at what point in pregnancy should one find a pediatrici... 11 replies
- a lot of moms i know (not me personally) do this to find a ped who will be accommodating of a delayed/selective vaccination schedule. some practices don't allow it....
Talk : : November 18, 2011
hi. 2 part question here: (1) at what point in pregnancy should one find a pediatrician? (2) does anyone know any good pediatricians convenient to 60th and amsterdam?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.18.11, 01:52 PM Flag ]I interviewed pads when I was 7-8 months pregnant. You don't actually have to decide who you are using until you have the db... just make sure they round at the hospital where you are delivering.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 02:05 PM Flag-
I always wonder about people who do this. Other than asking them about their policies for things like emergencies, what do you ask them? It's not exactly like you can interview them on the medical knowledge. And honestly, I don't know how they aren't offended by the whole thing. I'd be pretty peeved if I went to medical school only to find out I had to jump through interviews with my infant patient's parents, who have no medical background, to get patients.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 03:29 PM Flag
[+] I never much liked my BIL, but now I am just livid with him and his family. My 3 yea... 5 replies
- That's bizarre. No one know what causes autism (except we know that vaccines do not!). I mean, she sounds like she was way too immature to be pregnant if she couldn't manage to take care of her body for 9 months but still...
Talk : : November 12, 2011
I never much liked my BIL, but now I am just livid with him and his family. My 3 year old nephew has autism, and since the diagnosis, his parents have turned against my sister, going as far to suggest that she "is responsible" for the autism because she did not take care of herself during pregnancy. Who says that? (For what it's worth, she did not take prenatals, ate raw fish, and did "crash diet" during the pregnancy. Obviously those are not great things but they do not CAUSE autism!) I can't believe anyone would say that. She has enough on her plate as it is.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.12.11, 10:08 AM Flag ]
[+] My high school child told me that a sophomore girl is giving BJ's to a sophomore boy ... 28 replies
- Highjack: heard on NPR this week that throat and neck cancers are skyrocketing b/c of all the oral sex ppl have even though hpv is rampant. I think everyone needs to vaccinate their kids with the new hpv vaccine....
Talk : : November 06, 2011
My high school child told me that a sophomore girl is giving BJ's to a sophomore boy who has made it clear to her friends and on social media that he is only using her for sex and doesn't like her. WWYD? Her friends, including my child, have told her to stop letting herself be taken advantage of, but she says she only feels happy when she is with the boy. WWYD? Anything? Or just chalk it up to adolescence? My child has told her to stop servicing the boy -
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.06.11, 01:13 PM Flag ]Would you feel comfortable talking to this girl if you got the chance?
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:14 PM Flag-
I'd thank your lucky stars that it's not your DD who is doing this, and that she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it so that you can discuss values, how boys and girls should respect themselves and eachother, etc. I don't think you can "do" anything, unless you want to call that girl's parents- which may be a very good or a very bad idea depending on the parents.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:18 PM Flagso much for a community of parents who look out for other people's kids
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:22 PM FlagWell, a sophomore in high school is 16 years old. It's not like it is a 10 year old doing these things. Many, many 16 year olds are sexually active, and I believe they are at the age of consent- not sure though. Anyways, what is she going to say to the mom? "I heard you daughter is engaging in oral sex, and it sounds like her values in choosing a partner aren't up to my standards". FWIW there are plenty of grown women who behave the same way.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:25 PM Flag^^also FWIW I said she can certainly call the girls parents if she knows them and how they'd react- but since she said she can't pick the girl out of a crowd I doubt she knows the girls parents. Maybe the girls mom already knows these things. Maybe the girl will be beaten with a belt if her father hears about it. It is very tricky to nose into a complete stranger's home life. Especially when the person involved is a teen... not a sexually abused 6 year old or something.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:27 PM Flag
If this is happening on school grounds, your dd can report it to the principal. (My dh is a teacher, and something like this happened at his school. Rumors led staff to investigate, the couple were "caught," and school sw were able to intervene. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen outside of school, but it's a start.)
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:22 PM FlagBJs are standard in HS these days by girls with low self esteem. The kids don't consider it sex. The boys get serviced and the girls get attention and feel popular. Talk to your daughters AND your sons! They can do better than this. Most of these kids are not in relationships- just one night stands.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:23 PM Flag-
it's very sad but not exactly a new phenomenon. this went on in my high school as well. some things you just have to live and learn with as teenagers- and OP's daughter is learning things thankfully through someone else's actions and not her own, but still, this is normal adolescent stuff unfortunately.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 01:29 PM Flag
It's clear from OP that this girl is a victim, but I don't know if she's a victim of a guy who is using her for sex and/or a victim of a viscous female 'frenemy' who is committing character assassination. Does the guy's website dis the girl or only other female 'friends'. If it's the latter, tell your daughter to watch out both for slimy guys and from backstabbing 'friends'.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 08:16 PM Flag-
[+] Are all flu shots the same? Can I just get one at Rite Aid or do I need to go to a do... 6 replies
- It's just injection vs. Flumist (the "sniffy" one as my dc puts it). The formula is the same for all vaccine in a given flu season....
Talk : : November 04, 2011
Are all flu shots the same? Can I just get one at Rite Aid or do I need to go to a doctor to get a "better" flu shot? TIA
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.04.11, 06:32 AM Flag ]Is this for real? Yes, the FDA lets drug stores sell less effective shots with more side effects and inject them into the bodies of consumers who don't know any better. When I was pregnant, my OB told me to go to Duane Reade to get my shot because she didn't have any on hand. I should sue her!
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 06:55 AM Flagnp: I thought there were more than 1 company manufacturing the flu shots. Of course what you say is ridiculous, but I also wonder whether some shots may have less side effects due to manufacturing differences. of course, I wouldn't know which ones were better anyway.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 07:28 AM FlagYes, there are a few manufacturers that make the shot. However, they're all basically made the same way and have to undergo the same FDA approval process. You're talking about tiny nuances of difference. Besides, it's not like doctors buy from one manufacturer and CVS from another -- which is what OP was asking. And, to OR point below me, yes, some shots contain thimerosal, but if that concerns you, you can request one without it. When I was pregnant and BF-ing I went to CVS and got the thimerosal-free ones both times.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 08:07 AM Flag
[+] Do breastfed kids/babies get sick less often than FF? 19 replies
- my DB from diseases I've already been exposed to (so if a cold is going around daycare, forget it -- we're both goners.) Finally, if there were really any reliable truth to this, we wouldn't need to vaccinate breastfed kids because, hey, they're protected by mom! So I suspect there's more correlation than causation....
Talk : : November 01, 2011
Do breastfed kids/babies get sick less often than FF?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.01.11, 11:02 AM Flag ]-
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Some do, some don't. Kids who don't go to daycare or have siblings who go to school or daycare definitely get sick less.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:04 AM FlagOP not trying to start a debate, just wondering if at least anecdotally it were true or not.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:04 AM Flag-
dh was breastfeed well into being a toddler and had constant ear infections. my little bit breastfeed dc but mostly formula fed, had a small stint of being sick with ear infections around 2 (never sick as a baby), but now is consistently very healthy. dc goes years without being sick. i think that exercise and fresh air and good food are the real key.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 05:37 PM Flag
I breastfed and I think its a crock of shit. My son got a cold every single time we went on the plane. If he was around people he got sick.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:27 AM Flagstatistically, yes. which doesn"t preclude a specific bf baby getting sick a lot or an ff baby being healthy as a horse.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:30 AM FlagImpossible to know at this point. I think there is some research going on now to see whether BF-ing moms who get the flu shot confer any immunity on their DBs. That said, even if it's true, I can only protect my DB from diseases I've already been exposed to (so if a cold is going around daycare, forget it -- we're both goners.) Finally, if there were really any reliable truth to this, we wouldn't need to vaccinate breastfed kids because, hey, they're protected by mom! So I suspect there's more correlation than causation.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 11:35 AM Flag-
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[+] Recommendation for great pediatrician on uws (for newborn) who will eventually accomm... 20 replies
- might potentially expose newborns, etc. in the waiting room to vaccine preventable diseases...
- And the number of antigens present in the entire childhood vaccine series is something like 150. The ENTIRE SERIES. And...
- np: they are eradicated BECAUSE of vaccines, you know....
- The pertussis vaccine works for about 3 years. That's why it's...
Talk : : October 31, 2011
Recommendation for great pediatrician on uws (for newborn) who will eventually accommodate a staggered vaccine schedule? Tend to like older docs with years of experience more than young, cool ones-- but fairly open if great review. Thanks!
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.31.11, 04:50 PM Flag ]Older docs with lots of experience will think you're silly for wanting to stagger the vaccine schedule. Just sayin'.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:53 PM FlagDon't know, but say up front about the vaccine schedule because I think a lot of peds don't accept patients who won't do the schedule (because they might potentially expose newborns, etc. in the waiting room to vaccine preventable diseases... that is what mine says at least)
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:01 PM FlagThat's such a BS reason for not doing an alternate schedule. I'm not anti-vaccine at all. But most of the things we vaccinate for are pretty much eradicated in the US and many are not even airborne. If a doctor doesn't want to do an alternate schedule, s/he should tell the patients that there is no benefit to spacing the vaccines and that it means that the child needs to go through the trauma of the shots more frequently (that should convince 1/2 the people wishing to space them out - they just want to protect their snowflakes).
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:37 PM FlagOR: have you ever seen a newborn with pertussis? It's so sad. I wouldn't want my newborn in a room with a bunch of unvaccinated people- kids or adults.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:42 PM FlagThe pertussis vaccine works for about 3 years. That's why it's coming back in older children and adults. Yes, it's sad to see a child sick. It's also very rarely fatal in a healthy child. I'm not suggesting spacing vaccines or not vaccinating - just saying that the whole 'exposure' as a reason not to space or be selective is a load of horse shit.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:17 PM FlagOk maybe it's not fatal, but my niece was in the hospital for 2 months when she had it. And she had chronic lung disease for years after that. It's not just a bad cold or something. And reducing exposure is the whole point of vaccinating
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:23 PM FlagI'm very sorry about your niece - it actually highlights my point. It's one of the shots that should be prioritized if spacing - more important than Hep A.. But parents like to do what's trendy and don't actually take the time to research these things - a doctor could give guidance instead of turning patients away.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:34 PM Flag
Not measles. They had a big outbreak in California this year. And pertussis is still around and there are outbreaks of that every year.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:59 PM FlagMMR doesn't even start until 1 or 2 YO. It's also not a fatal disease - very low risk to otherwise healthy children - most of our parents had it, like we all had chicken pox. It can leave males sterile - but not frequently. It is quite dangerous for PG women. Spacing out vaccines is a PITA for both doctors and parents (and kids) - but it doesn't expose infants in the waiting room to measles. They have to get the shots for school. Again - I'm not pro spacing or anti-vaccine - just pointing out that it's a complete BS reason. Doctors should be upfront and honest. They either placate misinformed parents or turn them away. I can see the doctor's perspective though - so many parents are major PITA that it's almost not worth trying to have a reasonable conversation.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:23 PM FlagYou're the one that needs to be upfront and honest. Because for someone that claims not to be anti-vaccine, you're spouting a whole lot of their PR.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:28 PM FlagMy kids are fully vaccinated. We didn't do Hep in the hospital - because that's just a bit silly... but everything else except for MMR. Our delay of the MMR has nothing to do with 'their PR' and everything to do w/ my DH having a reaction to the shot. I watch for measles outbreaks in our area religiously and will start the shots at 4. DH was fine w/ the first shot and almost died from the second. It was a freak reaction, and I know it's irrational to postpone - but it's just something I choose to do. He's also got very odd food allergies that are super uncommon - garlic? Who's allergic to garlic???? They're not severe -but I'm always careful w/ these odd things.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 06:49 PM Flag
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The average kid is exposed to over 2,000 antigens a day just by being outdoors, in contact with other kids, eating food, etc. And the number of antigens present in the entire childhood vaccine series is something like 150. The ENTIRE SERIES. And your kid gets over 2,000 PER DAY.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:23 PM Flag-
[+] Just wondering - Are vaccinations and flu shots free in the US? I assume some vaccina... 22 replies
- children who are uninsured, underinsured or eligible for medicaid can get free vaccines including the flu vaccine. think you can get them from the health dept...since it would be funded by Public Health, it would be free, like vaccinations (which I guess are not free either)...
- Vaccinations are free at the Health Department in South Carolina for younger children....
Talk : : October 30, 2011
Just wondering - Are vaccinations and flu shots free in the US? I assume some vaccinations are mandatory for school, so that means they should be available to all without having to pay for it.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.30.11, 12:11 PM Flag ]-
OP here. I am Canadian and we just got flu shots (you don't have to show ID or your insurance card). My dh mentioned that this free flu shot clinic would never fly in the U.S. and I disagreed with him, saying since it would be funded by Public Health, it would be free, like vaccinations (which I guess are not free either)
[ Reply | More ]10.30.11, 12:25 PM FlagThey are free- they are covered by insurance. If you choose to not have insurance (and if you are too poor to afford it, then you are eligible for Medicaid or other state sponsored insurance- so I'm speaking truly of the people who just do not want to pay for health insurance) then I believe you have to pay for them, but again, the state dept might give them for free.
[ Reply | More ]10.30.11, 12:28 PM Flag
children who are uninsured, underinsured or eligible for medicaid can get free vaccines including the flu vaccine. http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/imm/immvfc.shtml
[ Reply | More ]10.30.11, 12:17 PM Flag
[+] Who is bored? 29 replies
- Letโs get the bored going!! Anyone for a vaccine debate? Anyone want to slate a parent they saw in a supermarket? Religion, Obama...
Talk : : October 29, 2011
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I always say only boring people are bored...but I do find myself bored right now. Trying to get an online date.
[ Reply | More ]10.29.11, 09:54 AM Flag-
Which sites do you use? I got hit on so many times last night, but my friend sent all the guys away. I'm so desperate. Thank god I have them.
[ Reply | More ]10.29.11, 09:57 AM Flagusing match right now. have a nice date for tomorrow (daytime, roadtrip), but nothing for tonight.
[ Reply | More ]10.29.11, 10:03 AM FlagIs the road trip a second+ date? I'm too chicken to road trip date on a first. I'm not on match, did it for a year. I think people are attracted to my personality more than my photos, so I do better in person.
[ Reply | More ]10.29.11, 10:05 AM Flag
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[+] Anyone else feel slightly flu-ish after getting the vaccine? 4 replies
- Wow! That was such a rude remark. Actually, the nasal vaccine, which is what I got, IS live. And can produce these symptoms....
Talk : : October 28, 2011
[+] Is a shot at the doctor's really that bad? I think not. 11 replies
- or: why? what do you think will happen? serious question. it is the AAP recommended vaccination schedule. cbc doesn't inject anything and ppd is inert. flu shot i suppose you could delay, but the shot is dead virus anyway....
Talk : : October 28, 2011
Is a shot at the doctor's really that bad? I think not.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.28.11, 12:27 PM Flag ]you mean for dc? sure. my poor 4yo had 7 shots last week. that is A LOT for any age.
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 12:39 PM Flag-
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Some kids are really scared, the anxiety is worse than the hurt. Some shot givers are better than others. They know how to calm kids. And some have a trick where they nap next to where they're going to stick needle, it supposedly tricks nerves so the kid doesn't feel it much.
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 01:34 PM FlagAfter 2 kids and dozens of shots, here's my take: some kids honestly experience pain more than others. the same is true of adults -- ask any post-op nurse. So, you may have a kid who doesn't mind a shot, or you might have one who feels the pain more and cries alot.
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 02:22 PM Flag
[+] Poll. If your DC has never had a sick visit to pediatrician how old is DC & what is p... 17 replies
- lol. My kid had deadly serious stuff growing up. Doubt anyone's "approach" would have avoided the ped. office. If you're looking to avoid colds, wash your kids hands. Vaccinate and wear a hat in the winter....
Talk : : October 24, 2011
Poll. If your DC has never had a sick visit to pediatrician how old is DC & what is ped's name / practice?
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.24.11, 08:44 AM Flag ]DC is 5.5 park ave pediatrics dr Ginsberg and we love her approach.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:46 AM Flag-
When we had DC we picked her from a list. There's no way to know since our friends don't have kids. Happy w her and even though son has been sick she gave us suggestions to try at home first and rode out everything so far. My friends ped gives meds like candy corn, not my style.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:51 AM FlagWhat's her "approach"...lol. My kid had deadly serious stuff growing up. Doubt anyone's "approach" would have avoided the ped. office. If you're looking to avoid colds, wash your kids hands. Vaccinate and wear a hat in the winter.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:55 AM Flag
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[+] Why are parents so obsessed with infant sleep these days. I come from a huge family ... 45 replies
- the other side is wrong -- not only wrong but doing irreparable damage to the baby. When DH and I were growing up, our moms read Dr Spock who said sometimes you have to let the baby cry and that was that. Just like vaccines weren't a big deal, but now you're in one "camp" or another....
Talk : : October 23, 2011
Why are parents so obsessed with infant sleep these days. I come from a huge family and I don't remember my older siblings and cousins being so obsessed with sleep training their infants. It was more of a "this to shall pass mentality, enjoy this fleeting stage while it lasts". Are we all a bunch of control freaks? a result of the "self-help" industry or are our expectations out of whack?
45 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.23.11, 09:01 PM Flag ]Previous generations were not so concerned with hearing a baby cry IMO. My mom put us in a separate room at 3 months and thought all babies fuss a bit when they fall asleep and that was it. We slept well after that.
[ Reply | More ]10.23.11, 10:53 PM Flag-
Not sure about anybody else, but my siblings and I were constantly in my parents' bed (this was the 70s). My mother said it was truly the only way everybody could get some sleep. I think the tough-it-out thing wasn't as universal as everybody thinks it was.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:31 AM Flagnot in our house - you better have been really sick to wake my parents, we did not go into their rooms for much ever. That was there room - I grew up in the late 60/early 70's. I even had a latch on the outside of my door so I would not fall down the stairs if I woke up during the night (I do not remember it, but my older brother remembers being told to make sure the latch was undone in case of emergency - lol)
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:36 AM FlagThat's fine (I posted above), but what I'm getting at is that even back in the (allegedly) golden age of laissez faire parenting, there were differing approaches. I had some friends whose parents' rooms were sacrosanct and others who had a more free-for-all approach. We all, of course, thought the other approach was weird, but I don't see how that's all that different from today.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:54 AM Flag
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Previous generations had more SAHM's or other household members who did not have to be up for work in the AM, and could actually do that "sleep when the baby sleeps" B.S. I suspect that kids were more accepted culturally, as well, and you didn't have people banging on your apartment walls at the slightest peep.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 04:06 AM FlagNP. ITDA. I don't think people in the past centered their lives around their children to nearly the extend that people do today. I don't think I know anyone whose parents would have responded every time the baby cried by picking it up, and just sleeping the next day during nap time. People were just as busy back then, even if they weren't working. I think many more parents actually let their babies CIO in previous generations, though they weren't doing it based on a theory so much as out of an acceptance that babies are fussy.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:27 AM Flag
I think what's different is the sheer number of gurus claiming to be experts. You have your Ferber-followers on one side and your Dr Sears types on the other, and everyone thinks the other side is wrong -- not only wrong but doing irreparable damage to the baby. When DH and I were growing up, our moms read Dr Spock who said sometimes you have to let the baby cry and that was that. Just like vaccines weren't a big deal, but now you're in one "camp" or another.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:44 AM FlagBut so what if there are experts with differing philosophies? Childrearing is an important skill with lots of variations and much is up for debate. There's expertise about far less important things. I also think your claim about adherents to these philosophies is overblown.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:53 AM Flag
Because they put babies to sleep on their bellies, with their heads wedged against crib bumpers and a bottle within reach. Seriously.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 06:54 AM Flag-
I'm not saying it was better, I'm saying it worked. There were less issues with infant sleep a few decades ago because dbs literally had the tools to soothe themselves. Unfortunately it doesn't gibe with what we've learned is best for kids' health & well being.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:14 AM Flag
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I think part of it is we want our kids to be emotionally healthy and people feel we have to (or can?) do something to get there. And then we want so badly to be right - that our way will lead our child to emotional health and happiness. And of course there's no way to know.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 07:09 AM FlagITA. It's just wanting to believe that choices like that make a difference. Who knows if they do. And "affair mom" (for example) can obsess over her kid's sleep habits so she doesn't have to admit to herself that her affair could be far more damaging to her kid than whether she picks the kid up or lets the kid cry.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 07:11 AM Flag
The answer to this completely depends on your cultural background. My parents grew up in the 60s in large families (one irish catholic, the other wasp) and said that the younger kids were just left to cry and cry in their cribs at naps and at night--no science to it, it was just what people did. My parents didn't CIO with me or my sister, but my brother apparently "needed it" and they did Weissbluth with him back in the late 80s. It's not new.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:01 AM FlagOP: I posted this because I've been around a lot of people with babies while I was growing up. I had never heard of sleep training or been around people who expected little babies to sleep through the night. Maybe they didn't talk about it but there were always the jokes about how people with babies didn't sleep or you didn't really sleep for the first year unless you were lucky and your kid was a "good" sleeper. I expected that sleep would be limited.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:17 AM FlagI like having my kids on a good sleep schedule. I get to have my evenings without them up all night and they get a good nights sleep. Win-win
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:29 AM FlagOP: My kid always napped and went to bed at a decent hour. I just didn't become obsessed about the sleeping through the night thing. I remember feeling so disenchanted with the mom's groups because all of the women just wanted to talk about their baby's "sleep issues". It drove me nuts and stressed me out.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 08:40 AM Flag
The concept of sleep training and CIO is in parenting books going back to the 1800's. The Care and Feeding of Children, first published in 1895 is the earliest "sleep training" book I'm aware of. It's had it's had peaks and valleys in popularity. Hardly something new. Sleep training is just a new term for it.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 09:18 AM Flag-
OP: On the contrary. My dc didn't sleep through the night until two years old. According to the sleep experts his growth should be stunted etc.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 09:49 AM Flag^^^He's in the 100th percentile for height, healthy weight and and very easy going kid. It never really bothered me and I don't understand why such a small facet of childhood (when your baby sleeps through the night) has become the measure of good parenting.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 09:51 AM FlagI don't think it's a measure of anything, but I do think for some kids they end up losing a lot of sleep, which is not good for them.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 09:54 AM Flagyes, kids need sleep. MY dc got his 12-14 hours everyday, just woke up frequently at night... for a long time. He's totally healthy and very bright. I feel like things that are really normal for some babies have been totally patholigized.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:04 AM FlagWell my DS woke up every 3 hours(which I was fine with) but stayed awake for an hour each time, no matter if I nursed or co-slept. I don't think you can make a generalization that moms who worry shoudln't. He was losing so much sleep he looked like awful. So, yes, I worried.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:07 AM Flag
I hear you. The comments I had to listen to when my first kid was six months old: what, your child is still not sleeping through the night? Etc. etc. None of my kids slept through until they were 18-24 months old. They woke up at least twice or three times a night. Many years later now, none of that bullshit prediction on what not sleeping though the night could do to your child happened. Maybe I should write a book....
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:08 AM Flag
Eh, I think people talk about it more now. My mom tells me I didn't sleep through the night until I was 6 months old and everyone kept telling her to let me cry. so one night she did. i cried for 4 hours straight until she finally couldn't take it and went to me. the next day she called the ped, who was like - no, if the baby doesn't settle after 20-30 min, you need to do something else. at 6 months she weaned me and i got my own room and i started sleeping through the night. every baby has their own rhythm. i think that the current philosophy that ALL babies don't need to eat at night once they hit 12 lbs and ALL babies should sleep through by 3 months is mistaken. there's nothing wrong w encouraging a baby to self-soothe or go for longer stretches at night or whatever, but the assumption that any one method will work for every child is mistaken. and no one knows this better than parents of 2 or more very different children!
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:02 AM FlagI think new parents are generally older than our parents were and aren't used to being sleep deprived themselves. They work hard at getting their baby to sleep well because they need the sleep just to get through those early stages of being a parent. When the kids and the parents are well rested everyone is happier. People love to talk about it because they are just so happy that everyone in the house is sleeping again.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:19 AM FlagSleep training has been around in different forms for a long time. I don't know if it's more popular now. But when you think of how the role of women has evolved over the years, and how things have changed in general it's not so odd to think sleep training might be more popular. More women work, and technology has made life more fast paced whether you work or not. Both of those things seem like they'd lend themselves to more of a need or interest in scheduling a baby. Not to WOHM always sleep train, and not trying to make ANY sort of moral point about WOH, SAH, or sleep training. Just saying that I can see where these changes would increase the interest in scheduling.
[ Reply | More ]10.24.11, 10:35 AM Flag
[+] I'm not anti-vaccine, but I plan to stretch out the scheduling. The however whenever ... 22 replies
- or: really? it's not so deep. you are vaccinating your kid so your kid is safe. people have real fears about vaccinations (even if unfounded), so if they need to stretch things out or look for alternatives I say go for it...
- We don't vaccinate against small pox....
Talk : : October 20, 2011
I'm not anti-vaccine, but I plan to stretch out the scheduling. The however whenever I meet a parent that is super regimented, I tell them I'm not vaccinating my dc just to piss them off.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.20.11, 12:56 PM Flag ]-
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Well, i'm hardly super regimented but I also don't see the humour in small pox.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:13 PM FlagHopefully they won't let their kids play with yours. Maybe that would piss you off.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:14 PM Flagi don't know why people care about this so much. I guess my dc is on a super regimented schedule because that is out ped's style. I just don't care what others are doing.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:15 PM FlagI don't care at all what other families do about their own style of chores, food, when to potty train, sleep styles, etc. but this sucks b/c she is relying on the rest of us to keep her kid safe without holding up her end of the social contract. Frustrating!
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:17 PM Flagor: really? it's not so deep. you are vaccinating your kid so your kid is safe. people have real fears about vaccinations (even if unfounded), so if they need to stretch things out or look for alternatives I say go for it.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:26 PM Flagnnp: I resent non vaxers riding on everyone else's immunity. If they don't want to vax, fine. Just don't participate in society. Would I SAY that to anyone? No. Nor would i keep their kids away from mine, unvaxed kids aren't a threat. But, overall, individuals who opt out undermine everyone's immunity.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 05:50 PM Flag
I doubt they are pissed off so much as making a mental note that you're a total idiot and to avoid you at any parent functions, not for health reasons, but sanity, bc no one wants to be told by someone who is not an MD or medical researcher that they have a "better" alternative way to care for serious diseases, which is to be blissfully unaware of how lucky they are.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:16 PM FlagFake. You know very well that if you did that, parents would avoid your family.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:24 PM FlagNP- Not true, I was very open about delaying db shots 12 years ago and we still had n play dates. Delaying the shots in infancy has very little impact on society at large. By 5 dc was all caught up. And is still one of the healthiest kids I know. Never had strep, ear infection, flu. DC did have 5th disease and the common cold for which there is no vax.
[ Reply | More ]10.20.11, 01:53 PM Flag
[+] Question for moms who have taken Valtrex during pregnancy. I'm 21 weeks pregnant. I... 11 replies
- I'm not a doctor, but I think the vaccine may have taxed your immune system. I know I always end up with a fever after one, which is why I don't take them....
Talk : : October 20, 2011
Question for moms who have taken Valtrex during pregnancy. I'm 21 weeks pregnant. I've been getting oral cold sores for years, and over time they've migrated from my face to my gums, glands and inner ear area. Excruciatingly painful. OB says it is perfectly safe to take Valtrex. I trust her...but I'm still nervous about taking anything. I've never had this resolve itself on its own. I've always ended up having to take the Valtrex. Any moms out there take Valtrex during pregnancy? Any alternatives to this?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.20.11, 08:08 AM Flag ]
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