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[+] IVF. I find the most frustrating part is having a everything go perfectly in a cycle ... 15 replies
- My 42 y.o. sister had numerous miscarriages and is now 5 months pregnant with her first db. Not impossible....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
IVF. I find the most frustrating part is having a everything go perfectly in a cycle and still no pregnancy and no reason why. Perfect cycle, perfect eggs, many fertilized, no pregnancies. 41 and feeling I should give up. Am I just too old? tell it to me straight.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More-
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You are me except for I had one chemical pregnancy. I'm in the process of switching from RMA to Davis at Cornell. I did just find out that I am homozygous for the MTHFR gene, which means I'm now on baby aspirin and high dose B vitamins daily. How many rouunds have you done? I'm starting prep for IVF#3.....
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:18 PM Flag-
I was about to start the whole process, was 24 hours away from taking my first shots when I found out I was pg the old fashioned way. I was doing acupincture though. I reccommend supplementing with it. I cant sing enough praises about it. Now, my snider 5 months and I'm almost 40. I'm debating trying again. Good luck! Look at the Faborm website if your interested.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:30 PM Flag
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[+] Somebody cheer me up. I had a miscarriage today. 27 replies
- Most miscarriages are genetic errors that would not have been viable children....
- I'm sorry this happened. A miscarriage usually happens when there is a glitch that is going...
- My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I was pregnant with my now 3yo two months...
- I had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage before my DD. When I look at her now,...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Somebody cheer me up. I had a miscarriage today.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 04:56 PM Flag ]I had one at 6 weeks and got pregnant the following year. In my late 30s. How far along were you?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:57 PM FlagOnly 5 weeks. I found out on Friday that I was pregnant, then was told by my RE today that my HCG level dropped and that I wasn't pregnant anymore. It's such an emotional roller coaster.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:59 PM FlagI am truly sorry. IVF? One of the things that makes it hard is that you know so much earlier that you are pregnant. When TTC without technology, one can lose a pregnancy this early and not even know it existed.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:01 PM FlagI know, that's exactly it! No, it was an IUI. My dr tests just 2 weeks after the procedure. If it weren't for that early testing, I wouldn't even have known...I'd just think my period was a couple of days late. In a way I'm glad to know because at least I know the IUI worked...but I feel so much loss right now.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:04 PM Flag
Exactly the same thing happened to me. 5 weeks, 2 days. I was a mess for a few weeks. On the bright side: I was due with that db on Oct 9. I was 6 months pg when that day arrived. That baby, #2, will be 6 next month. Gl. I know it's hard even though it was early...
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:15 PM Flag
Most miscarriages are genetic errors that would not have been viable children. Better this than that.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:58 PM Flagi had 4 miscarriages. extremely devastating. i finally used a donor egg & now have the most delightful 2.4 y.o. he helps wash away the sadness i felt after those MCs.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:10 PM Flag-
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I was pregnant with my now 3yo two months later. Indulge in something you love and won't be able to do when you're pregnant (drink, sushi, soft cheeses - whatever) because I'm sure youGood luck.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:16 PM Flag
[+] My 20yo DD was just told by her gyn that she has precancerous cells and will require ... 186 replies
- the bottom of your cervix, which increases the chances of miscarriage? And if she needs that procedure more than once (not unlikely given that she's so young), her chances...
- Higher chance of miscarriage from these procedures isn't "worst case scenario", it's fairly commonplace. I am shocked at your lack of...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
My 20yo DD was just told by her gyn that she has precancerous cells and will require a cryo - freezing and scraping of the uterus. She was told that it was not caused by HPV. I told her not to tell her stepfather since he lost his mother to cancer just three years ago. I asked her not to speak of the procedure or anything and to just keep it between us. She went to the doctor alone and then spent last weekend with her boyfriend - she's now home on break. Her stepfather wanted to know why she was not staying with us this weekend and I had to makeup a reason. I am so pissed!
186 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 03:59 PM Flag ]-
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Ok, I didn't finish explaining. We have a rule in our house that you do not stay the night at boyfriend/girlfriend's houses unless you are married. She knows this but decided to go against my wishes and called me at 10pm to say that she was going to stay the night at his apartment.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagMaybe because she was scared/ sad after the procedure and needed some extra love and care, and since you told her you were not interested in her sharing any of her medical problems with the family, she was unable to go to your house to recover from what is a painful procedure. You are a horrid bitch.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:11 PM FlagOMG, abnormal pap smears are a dime a dozen. Nearly every woman I have spoken to about it says that they have had one at some point in their life. I just didn't want my husband to hear cancer and then become panicked. He takes meds for anxiety and is easily stressed.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:15 PM FlagYeah but having a cryo means that the cells were abnormal enough for her doc to be concerned. You chose your DH's unfounded anxiety (unfounded, by your own admission, because according to you abnormal paps are a dime a dozen) as more important than your daughter's feelings and her medical needs after the cryo. I just don't get why you were mad that she went to stay with her BF afterwords- I mean you pretty much said you wouldn't want her coming to your place afterwords, so she needed someone to help her in case it hurt, or in case she was bleeding afterwords. And since her own mother refused to, well...
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:18 PM FlagNot at all. I said nothing about coming home afterwards. I didn't even know that she was having the procedure since she didn't tell me.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:27 PM FlagI wonder why she didn't tell you, after hearing your deep concern for her. And would you have really said she could come right home afterwords? And be walking around all funny-like, in pain, and checking her bleeding every hour or two? What if precious DH noticed her pain?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:30 PM Flag
Tell that to my aunt, who died of cervical cancer which was first noted on a pap smear.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:34 PM Flag
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You are TERRIBLE! Way to make your DD's medical procedure about you, ASSHOLE!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagHow did I make this all about me? Abnormal pap smears are not out of the norm. She may have even been exaggerating the issue since she has a history of doing these things - like telling me that she had whopping cough two months ago when she was vax for pertussis ages ago.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:06 PM FlagRegardless of your stupid rule, what have you got to be pissed about? You forced your daughter to lie when she probably needed support and are upset that when trying to hide the lie she upset your husband. You are terrible and selfish as stated above.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:09 PM FlagI didn't force her to lie, I just asked her not to mention it to my husband. It's quite minor anyhow. No need to cause alarm.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:16 PM FlagNewsflash: sleeping over at a boyfriends house when you are 20 is quite minor as well.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:22 PM FlagI wasn't asking for your morals. Those are the rules at our house.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:30 PM FlagWell, clearly your adult daughter needed some compassion since her mother is 100% lacking (although she has surprising compassion for her new husband's crazy anxiety over what you yourself describe as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING). I personally am glad she had a boyfriend to turn to, and I'm sure she was glad too. You are on the right track to being one of those moms that your daughter is writing on UB about, asking how to avoid seeing her crazy parents over the holidays.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:32 PM Flag
So when she came to your house and was on the couch, uncomfortable, and going to the bathroom frequently to change her pad from the bleeding from the procedure, and taking pain meds, what was she supposed to tell your DH? That's right, she promised you she wouldn't tell him. So she obviously couldn't go to your house afterwords. She was doing what you wanted!!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:23 PM FlagShe gets her period every month and no one knows when it occurs. She also would not have been walking around in a different manner. There also isn't continuous bleeding. You don't know what you are talking about. The doctor applies a clotting mechanism and you simply pass a clot of blood in 8-12hrs. There is very, very little blood before that occurs and all of the blood is collected in the clot. It's not like she's suffering from a miscarriage.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:33 PM FlagSo you think it would have been fine for her to come home and not mention her procedure, not mention if she needed any pain meds, not mention any anxiety or fear she was having about "what if something comes back abnormal?"... and just keep mum for the sake of your DH, in case he got worried when he heard about it? Really?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:35 PM FlagHer procedure was minor and routine. She wasn't given any pain meds and was simply told to take 800mg of ibuprophen. Nothing would come back abnormal since the abnormal cells were taken out.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:41 PM FlagYou know, you really are cold hearted. Did you even ask your daughter how she felt afterwords, or how she was feeling, or if she needed anything? Pregnancy and childbirth are routine as well, but I guarantee you were looking for a little bit of attention as you were pushing out an 8 pound baby.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:44 PM FlagNo, I wasn't. I drove myself to the hospital, gave birth and then drove myself home. I am not a drama queen. Even so, I assumed that she is ok since she seems perfectly fine today. No problems whatsoever.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:45 PM FlagNo, it's true. My ex-husband was cheating on me and didn't return my calls all day. I had to take myself to the hospital. I hope that my daughter has a better man in her life someday, so I wasn't meaning to imply that I think all women should go through what I went through.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:07 PM Flag
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Having a cryo is PAINFUL! Regardless if she actually has cancer, a cryo is PAINFUL!! She needed help recovering and you told her not to bother getting help from her family. So she went to her boyfriend. No shit she did!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:12 PM FlagYou are exaggerating. I called my doctor to ask her about the procedure and you just take 1600mg of ibuprophen afterwards. It's not a painful procedure. They numb you during it. You feel nothing.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:14 PM FlagWell, I've HAD one, and it is painful afterwords. Of course you are numb during it- but it hurts afterwords. Similar to how you are asleep during surgery, but once you wake up and the painkillers wear off, you have pain. And you are a complete dipshit- you can't take 1600mg of ibuprofen at once, that's absurd.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:15 PM Flag-
I've had one as well. I did not have any numbing whatsoever. Granted, this was nearly 2 decades ago, but the whole experience was scary and very painful. It might be a common procedure, but while you are having it done you feel alone and pretty freaked out, I would imagine this to be the case even if I were numbed.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:01 PM Flag
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Np: I've had the procedure also. It's uncomfortable and a bit painful. Further
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:35 PM Flagno- Sorry. I've had a cryo and they freeze off the top layer of your cervix- for me I was lying there shaking and it was very very unpleasant, even with the local. I'm surprised cryo is still performed these days- I heard most are now done with laser now as one gyno said to me that cryo was 'barbaric'.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:58 PM Flag
I find when we try and protect people from the truth it usually turns around to bite us all in the ass. Be upfront with her stepfather.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:04 PM FlagWell, that's how it turned out in this scenario. I was screwed over by her actions and then I had to tell my husband what was going on.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:17 PM FlagNo, your daughter was screwed over because her mother refused to help her after her procedure so she was pretty much forced to go stay with her boyfriend instead. You made your own bed, OP.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:20 PM FlagI didn't refuse to help my daughter. You are acting like she went in for surgery. I spoke to the doctor today and was told that it's a routine and very simple procedure that only takes 20min. Minimal discomfort after the fact. She could have easily come home.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:29 PM FlagYeah, and not mentioned the procedure to a soul. Sure. This was likely her first true medical procedure, and it was not a routine screening- it was because they found something abnormal! She is only 20- she was probably fearful the whole time, no matter how minor you think it was. You refused to support her. She chose her boyfriend over your. This is your fault.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:36 PM FlagI had a friend in college who had this. She was laid up for 2 days. Sad for about 2 weeks. For the first time your daughter had to face her mprtality and her mother denied her the fear. That lead her to go to her boyfriend. This is a direct consequence of you choosing your husband's feelings over hers. Own it.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:27 PM Flag
A leep procedure? Ok. You need to get your dd another opinion from a doctor you can trust. A friend of mine was told something similar by a doctor on campus and had the cryo procedure. She was afraid to tell her mom and went alone. She eventually learned that she needed no such thing and has ongoing issues because of it. Take your daughter to the doctor yourself. Keeping quiet to protect tour dh is not the answer here.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:07 PM FlagWhose the doctor? A campus doc. Do not let anyone touch your daughter without getting all of the info.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:09 PM FlagShe is a 20 year old adult. Mom can't prevent her from getting medical care, or dictate what care she gets. Heck, this mom is telling her she can't even speak about her medical problem to anyone in the family- and actively thinks she is lying about it. OP-- do NOT get involved in your poor daughter's medical care.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:14 PM Flagor: 20 year olds need help managing these things. sorry. Does she live on her own and pay her own bills. I'm guessing no. I agree that op sucks. Why do these women always make everything about their new dh. Pathetic!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:18 PM FlagShe does live on her own and pay her own bills. And we've told her that she's allowed to do what she wants at her own place, but at our place, she needs to respect the rules.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:22 PM FlagSo she is not "allowed" to stay at her boyfriend's house even though she doesn't live with you? LOL!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:28 PM Flag-
You preach respect, but you're on here calling your daughter attention-grabbing, overreacting, and pretending to need moral support from her significant other when in reality you're sure that she just wants his dick. In her vagina. AFTER A SURGICAL PROCEDURE ON HER CERVIX. You can't have sex right after a cryo.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:39 PM Flag
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There are so many things wrong with this post and with you in general. I'm just wondering how you think it's possible to have a rule for your 20 yo that says she cannot stay the night at her boyfriend's house, even though she no longer lives with you. Talk about controlling?!?! You are so terrified of your husband that you would prevent your daughter from telling him some basic truths about her health. What is making you the most angry is that you have to justify why your daughter is not staying over? Grow a pair of balls and worry about your daughter instead of your husband!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:27 PM FlagA few issues. 1.). With the new pap smear guidelines, no one is supposed to be getting a pap smear before 21 so your gyn is not following proper guidelines to start with. 2.). Cryo is emotionally stressful and the recovery is painful 3.) It is illegal for this dr to discuss anything about your daughters care with you (HIPPA) so either you are fake or he is an awful doctor. Either way, if my mother chose her husbands anxiety over helping me through a cancer scare, I would never speak to her again.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:44 PM FlagI don't know what you are talking about because she's been getting a pap smear since she was 16 and you are most definitely supposed to get an annual pap smear if you are sexually active. Recovery is very simply and things are only as emotionally stressful as you allow them to be. I didn't discuss the specifics of my daughter's situation with my doctor, I simply called to have her discuss what occurs during a cryo and the recovery/treatment.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:25 PM FlagNot true. No paps under 21 regardless of sexual activity and pals only every 2 years 21-29 and every 3 years over 30 with no history of abnormal paps. Here's the link: http://www.asccp.org/ConsensusGuidelines/tabid/7436/Default.aspx. I'm an OB/GYN and I wouldn't have told you a thing with out your daughters permission - it's a HIPPA violation.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:37 PM FlagAgain, you must have gone to a crappy med school, so whatever. I didn't discuss my daughter's case. I simply called the office to discuss what occurs during a cryo. And, my daughter has been getting a pap ever year since she was 16. This is the first time I've ever heard of someone stating that it should only occur every 2 years+.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:04 PM FlagNope. Not a crappy med school. A good one that taught me to practice evidence based medicine. The guidelines are clear in the link I posted. Your gyn is choosing to go against guidelines - he's going with his opinion rather than the evidence - risky business.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:18 PM Flag
so you allow news of your daughter's health to be emotionally stressful to your DH but you won't allow your daughter's medical procedure to be stressful to her? double standard much?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:39 PM FlagMy husband has a mental illness so we must tread carefully with him. My daughter and I do not need to take the same precautions.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:06 PM Flagi like how you've decided for your daughter that she does not need any emotional support
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:23 PM FlagFor having PREcancerous cells? No, I don't think the world stops for that and everyone I spoke to assured me that it was totally common. I should have just written that she had an abnormal pap smear and then everyone would have responded differently, instead, you all are clinging to one word.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:30 PM Flag
I don't get why your daughter wasn't allowed to mention it to your DH, since all of your posts stress how NOT a big deal this was, and how your daughter is completely fine and the procedure was the smallest thing ever? If it is so not a big deal, why the secrecy?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:49 PM FlagFirst of all, I think this is fake. But if it's real, then you must be an awful mother and human being. While it's true this procedure isn't uncommon, it can still be terrifying, especially to a 20-year old. I've had two friends who had this procedure in their early 20s and both were terried -- they spent weeks online researching all of the worst case scenarios and cried and cried over it. Are you so sure your daughter hasn't be crying herself to sleep every night like my friends did, thinking she might have cancer? I also had the procedure at an older age, and I was also terried but for a different reason. Did you know that if the results of the cryo are bad, and you need a further procedure (forget the name), they actually lop off the bottom part of your cervix? Which can increase the chances of miscarriage. And if you need that procedure more than once (not entirely unlikely since your daughter is so young), that greatly increases the chances of not being able to carry a child to full term. That is fairly scary. Not that you deserve to be in any future grandchild's life anyway.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:50 PM FlagIt's unusual to do cryo as a first step anymore. She doesn't have a good doctor, you live somewhere backward (you certainly are!) or there's more going on than one bad PAP.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 04:58 PM FlagThis is such a strange post. I usually don't call fake, but there are so many strange details, and OP is so hostile, I at least hope it's fake. Plus, nobody would really be this upset- main point of all of this mind you, that her adult daughter slept at her boyfriend's. She is being fat to defensive of he silly rule, for this to be a real person that really thinks this way.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:27 PM FlagI am upset because of all the drama it caused. It's 11pm and my daughter is not home. My husband wants to know where she is and I have to tell him, I don't know. I was hoping that she would change her mind and come home. He gets upset and anxious and tells me that he's going to call the police. He was worried to death that something might have happened to her. I tell him that she's staying the night at her boyfriends. My husband becomes livid and tries calling her - no answer. He tells me that he's going over to his apartment and is even saying that he's going to fight the kid because he knows what our rules are about sleepovers. He found it terribly disrepectful. I then spent an hour trying to calm him down and he's cursing and pissed. Finally, I get a hold of her boyfriend and he tells me that she's sleeping but that they will be over at 6am. Then, Sunday morning, she's here, crying and yelling about us controlling her life. The neighbors are listening to this. She runs to her room, packs her suitcase and says that she won't be coming home anymore. My husband is about to have a heart attack. She's causing a huge scene in the hall by not coming back to the apartment. Her boyfriend is trying to calm down my husband and my husband slaps him in the chest. This causes my daughter to start crying and yelling.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:35 PM FlagFinally, I get a hold of her boyfriend and he tells me that she's sleeping but that they will be over at 6am. Then, Sunday morning, she's here, crying and yelling about us controlling her life. The neighbors are listening to this. She runs to her room, packs her suitcase and says that she won't be coming home anymore. My husband is about to have a heart attack. She's causing a huge scene in the hall by not coming back to the apartment. Her boyfriend is trying to calm down my husband and my husband slaps him in the chest. This causes my daughter to start crying and yelling.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:38 PM FlagHer boyfriend acts as mediator and finally gets everyone back into the apartment. I am pissed, but my daughter and husband have started to calm down. My husband apologizes, my daughter laughs it off and we tell her that she can spend the rest of the weekend at her boyfriend's if she'd like and she does. So, she got everything that she wanted.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:39 PM FlagSounds like your husband is abusive, you are horribly controlling of your daughter, and then after a massive fight that I probably would have called the police on if I'd witnessed, you laugh it off and tell you daughter she can have her way. Newsflash: she doesn't need your permission to have her way. She is an adult, who pays her own bills (according to you). She didn't make a scene here- your husband did.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:43 PM Flag
You put your husband before your daughter and offered little support. Why would she come home to stay with you, so she can feel worse than she already did. I'd be mighty pissed at you if I were her.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:28 PM FlagI think you're all being assholes to OP. Big deal she said 'dont tell dad'. Im sure it wasnt the first time! I grew up with that phrase embedded in my mind, and we were told it for various reasons.... To not upset him, to not disappoint him, to not let him know the real price of something. That comment doesnt make her a terrible mom. Its not like she is saying that dad will be mad that you have precancerous cells. She didnt want dad to be upset. Lighten up idiots. Daughter is also 20 and at that 'i can do it myself stage' maybe she thought it was no big deal. Did she say why she slept at bfs?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:42 PM FlagHi, OP. She slept at her boyfriends because she was likely upset after having her cryo, and wasn't allowed to talk about her feelings at home. She wasn't having sex, because that is contraindicated after a cryo (and painful!!). You brushed aside her worries and told her she wasn't allowed to talk about them, and then got mad at her for following your wishes.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:44 PM Flag
OP: To make it clear here's what was awful. Your 20 year old daughter got test results that had the phrase "pre-cancerous" in them and had to have a painful procedure - possibly the first in her life. Regardless of "the stats" this is a huge deal for a 20 year old; it touches on mortality, on reproduction, a whole bunch of things. You completely ignored her feelings. At the same time you asked her to not tell your DH. Clearly you are way more concerned with his bipolar etc. than your daughter - don't think she doesn't know it. I also I think you don't really believe it's not HPV related and you are engaged in shaming her about her sexuality/issues with 'private areas'/boyfriend. Regardless, you completely misstepped. If you want any hope of repairing your relationship with YOUR DAUGHTER you should apologize and get counselling asap. The drama was your fault.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:51 PM FlagThe daughter has an amazing, supportive BF who not only supports her when she needs it, but has the maturity to stand between her and her crazy, abusive family and even to act as mediator. What a guy. I think she should marry him and never speak to her birth family again. I want to adopt them both! This mother makes me want to vomit. Hoping this is fake.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:26 PM FlagNews flash OP - When asked where your daughter is do not cryptically say "I don't know" in a way that will upset your anxious bi-polar husband. You could have told the truth (a friend) without the details and avoid the whole as you call it Drama fest. But I certainly don't blame you daughter for staying away for a while, a long while. You are trying to control a 20 year old like a 16 year old and it will only be bad.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:34 PM FlagI don't lie to my husband. It's not a place that I want to be placed in. She forced me to deal with HER drama when she left with no explanation to her father. If she wants to act like an adult, then she needs to tell her father that she won't be staying the night at our place and she'll be staying with her boyfriend. Instead, she sneaked away like she was doing something wrong - which she was. And she only told me that she was going to be spending the night with him because she knew that I would be easier on her than my husband would have been.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:46 PM FlagNo she didn't. She put you exactly in the place you wanted to be- the martyr. She said "I am having a medical procedure", and you said basically that you didn't care. She said "I'm going to my boyfriend's", and she left. You were the one who chose to tell your husband. It's interesting that you wanted your daughter to practice selective honesty with your DH to spare his feelings, but you refused to practice selective honesty with him. Why? Because you were mad at your daughter and wanted to get back at her. You don't care about lying to your husband. Not telling a man that his daughter is undergoing a medical procedure like a cryo is the same thing as lying.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:08 PM Flag
OP, you must, after all this, see how you handled this terribly wrong? Please, think a little more about your daughter's feelings, and not always just of your husband. Even, sometimes maybe, in her favor, bend to sometimes take her side, just because she is your darling daughter.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:36 PM FlagX3. This is your daughter. Your baby. She was scared, she had to be. Please just show her some love.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:39 PM FlagNo, everyone on here just loves to get hysterical. It is a routine and common procedure. I have to worry about my husband, who is mentally ill, and how he would overreact concerning the situation. She has to add drama to the situation by breaking a house rule and leaving me to pick up the pieces. Then, she comes home with her boyfriend, causes a huge scene that nearly throws my husband into a full blown anxiety attack.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:10 PM Flagno, you have to worry about your daughter. who had precancerous cells. who had a painful medical procedure. who you told to shut up and move on, so you could focus on your precious husband. why can your husband get special attention when you don't feel your daughter merits it?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:20 PM Flag
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[+] Anyone else with PCOS? What is your height/weight and do you get your period regularl... 9 replies
Talk : : December 11, 2011
Anyone else with PCOS? What is your height/weight and do you get your period regularly? Were you able to conceive without Clomid or other drugs? How long did you try and how old were you at first DC? Any miscarriages? TIA.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.11.11, 10:01 AM Flag ]my DF has it, we're both 26. She is about 5'6" and probably 170 or so, can't lose weight even though she eats insanely healthfully and works out (actually she works at a health club). She and her BF just (very unexpectedly) got pregnant after about a year of being together. They weren't trying, she thought she had a 5% chance of ever conceiving naturally, and it happened! They are thrilled.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 10:31 AM Flagi dont have it but know quite a bit as my sister has it. its typically caused by a high ratio of abdominal fat that perpetuates high levels of circulating insulin. the insulin supresses the ovaries (more complicated than this but too lengthy. usually weight loss resolves it. taking diabetes meds as well
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 10:34 AM FlagOP I'm 5' 2" and about 123lbs. Havent had my period in 2.5 years. Take Metformin and Spironolactone. I've been working out, eating healthy..trying to lose weight. My endo says that I am a "thin PCO" meaning I will probably need to be slightly underweight to have regulated insulin and get my periods again. But it's so difficult as I can't even lose 5 lbs let alone the 15 he wants me to lose. I'm at my wits end.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 10:43 AM FlagYou are uninformed. It is not caused by the fat. It is caused by benign cysts that cover the ovaries, resulting in an inability to regulate certain hormones (such as insulin, which results in weight gain in some people). I have it, and got pregnant by surprise after 6years ttc. Metformin and exercise can help, but in my experience I always have symptoms no matter my weight. It sucks :-(
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 11:23 AM Flag
[+] The nastiest thing you've heard on UB? Something that really turned your stomach? 40 replies
- fetus had no heartbeat at 19 weeks. It's not like she's the first woman to do through a high risk pregnancy. Any woman who goes through something like that deserves sympathy. Or should we mock women who have had multiple miscarriages because they should have known better?...
Talk : : December 10, 2011
The nastiest thing you've heard on UB? Something that really turned your stomach?
41 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.10.11, 01:30 PM Flag ]Jokes about real life tragic situations. Absolutely revolting and inexcusable. Then the reo
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 01:34 PM FlagThe woman whose 4 year old took a dump and peed in the bathroom cause he was so disappointed that they couldn't go to the park, and she left him naked and whining and covered in crap. She came here looking for advice on a suitable punishment (as if leaving a crying 4 year old in his own shit wasn't enough.)
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 01:44 PM Flagnot true. She cleaned him up before she left him naked and whining. And can you blame her? A 4 year old know exactly what they have done!!!
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 01:53 PM Flag
- [ Removed by moderator ] [ More ]12.10.11, 02:45 PM
The whole 'Michelle Duggar miscarried her 20th baby' post was disgusting. No one had any sympathy for a woman who had a mc, as if a child meant nothing and was just fine to throw away just because she has so many others. What's the line? 10 kids? 12? 16? Then they don't matter?
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:05 PM FlagI don't feel sorry for her at all. She has some kind of babymaking death wish.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:12 PM FlagThat's just cold. She found out her fetus had no heartbeat at 19 weeks. It's not like she's the first woman to do through a high risk pregnancy. Any woman who goes through something like that deserves sympathy. Or should we mock women who have had multiple miscarriages because they should have known better?
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:23 PM FlagCompletely different ballgame. What about her other children? What happens to them while she is trying to have a 20th? She is completely disregarding her other children. It is crazy.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:28 PM FlagNo, it's really not. The amount of bile towards that woman is disgusting. You just know you could never be her so you don't have to extend human sympathies to her. You could be a woman with fertility issues, though, so naturally, you'd be nice to a woman like you.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:42 PM FlagNP: I am sad for that baby. And I do feel sorry for the family, because I am sure that their pain is very real. But I do think that the parents are incredibly irresponsible, given her age, the number of children they already have, and the past pregnancy complications and doctor's orders to stop getting pregnant. They should be taking care of the children they have, rather than risking the mom's life to have more.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:48 PM Flagit's one thing to have a discussion about extreme breeding and religion's influence over people and a wholly different thing to have no sympathy for a woman dealing with a late-term miscarriage. I just can't believe that there was almost no sympathy for her. People really must see her as a freakshow and not a woman.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 04:18 PM Flagnp the whole premise of the show is that these people live a freaky lifestyle. No matter how sweet and normal they may try to portray them, they wouldn't have a show if they weren't freaky. And they probably rely on the show to finance that lifestyle so.... fair game, IMO
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 07:33 PM Flag
Someone said something terrible about babies with things like downs syndrome being disgusting and unfit to live. I couldn't believe somebody really felt that way about tiny helpless babies--babies who never asked to be here and need our love. Uggh.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 03:46 PM FlagSomeone once made a comment about an almost-40 woman having a "dried-up uterus and shriveled ovaries" or something to that effect to explain why a man wouldn't be attracted to them. Not sure who it was but it came off like a bitter, misogynistic divorced dh who hates his ex-wife.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 06:03 PM Flag
[+] Duggar mother had a miscarriage with baby #20. They said they will have funeral after... 14 replies
- .I cannot imagine having a miscarriage, however...
- along, I really can't imagine how horrible this must be. I had a miscarriage early on in the pregnancy, losing the baby when you are six months along must...
- ^^Clearly you've never had a miscarriage. To want a baby and have a miscarriage so late in pregnancy has to be horrendous. I had one early on and was...
Talk : : December 09, 2011
Duggar mother had a miscarriage with baby #20. They said they will have funeral after they find out gender.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 12:39 PM Flag ]She was six months along, I really can't imagine how horrible this must be. I had a miscarriage early on in the pregnancy, losing the baby when you are six months along must be devastating.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:57 PM FlagYes, but she was told repeatedly that it was dangerous to herself and to the child to get pregnant again. She put herself and her unborn child at great risk when she decided to get pregnant. I feel sad for her as I would for any woman, but why in the world does she think it's okay to do this? She has other children--why is she putting her life at risk?
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 01:36 PM Flag
I don't understand their world view. It seems simple minded to me. I saw a bit of the show where they were answering questions from their viewers and one woman asked how they could feel okay having so many kids with world population exploding and weren't they concerned about their kids' kids and what type of life they would lead. And his answer was that there was no population problem in the world and that there is plenty of space and resources. What? So, yeah, get pregnant and if I die that's okay cause it's what the Lord wants. Whatever.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 01:56 PM Flag
[+] For anyone who has been pregnant and then m/c'd, how long after your pregnancy sympto... 4 replies
- I never had pregnancy symptoms for both miscarriages and the pregnancy....
- i lost symptoms at 9 weeks and didn't have miscarriage but saw my doc and decided to do a d and c....
Talk : : December 09, 2011
For anyone who has been pregnant and then m/c'd, how long after your pregnancy symptoms disappeared did you m/c? Or were you symptomatic up until you actually m/c'd?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 06:39 AM Flag ]I lost symptoms around 6.5/7 weeks (had earlier symptoms of very tender breasts, nausea and total exhaustion). I actually even said it to my husband that I thought something was wrong and sure enough baby had stopped growing and confirmed by ultrasound. Didn't wait for mc, instead took Cytotec to induce it (which was miserable). But then again, all these symptoms mess with your head and I feel like our minds plays tricks on us in this fragile state, so don't be to worried until you have an ultrasound!
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 07:41 AM Flag
[+] Michelle Duggar miscarried baby #20 at 20 weeks. Thats sad. Wonder if she will try ag... 28 replies
- I feel bad for her. A 2nd trimester miscarriage has to be horrible. But I think her body is done w/ having children and she needs abstain from sex if she doesn't believe in BC....
- Miscarriages happen. It's sad but in our modern era of medical obsession and birth control w/ decreased...
- My heart goes out to her and any woman who had a miscarriage, must be devastating so far along....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Michelle Duggar miscarried baby #20 at 20 weeks. Thats sad. Wonder if she will try again?!
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 02:07 PM Flag ]Hey Michelle, GOD IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING! For the love of all that's holy, STOP!!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:09 PM FlagThat logic is faulty because going with the entire "God is telling you something" rationale which implies belief in God and it would be feasible to also assume that a person who believed would buy the entire shebang of faith/ omnipotence, etc. then if "God were trying to tell her something", he would simply not allow her to be pregnant at all.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 03:29 PM Flag
does she try or does she just not do anything to prevent it?
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:10 PM FlagShe is selfish for going through with a 20th pregnancy, risking her own life and her babie's. She could easily leave her other 19 children without a mother should something go awry. She needs to stop thinking of just herself and love the children she has.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:22 PM Flag-
I feel bad for her. A 2nd trimester miscarriage has to be horrible. But I think her body is done w/ having children and she needs abstain from sex if she doesn't believe in BC.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:58 PM FlagMiscarriages happen. It's sad but in our modern era of medical obsession and birth control w/ decreased pregnancies we have forgotten this. In past times when women were at the mercy of their uterus, it was rare to find a fertile woman of childbearing years who had not had a miscarriage.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 03:26 PM Flag
[+] Am pregnant with first (and second!) baby after first IVF. Will be seeing some friend... 11 replies
- I am one of the having trouble getting pregnant people, miscarriages, etc. and it drive me CRAZY when people walk on eggshells around me. Yes it stings and sometimes I cry to my husband when I get home, but I am also so incredibly happy and excited for them that I want to hear their...
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Am pregnant with first (and second!) baby after first IVF. Will be seeing some friends this holiday season still dealing with infertility. What is the most sensitive/non pity-ing or smug way to break the news? Odds are I will be seeing them in a social setting so cannot control "the reveal" unless I email/call them first...anyone BTDT?? TIA!
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 02:05 PM Flag ]Congratulations. I have BTDT and I think if they know you, too, struggled with IF and went through IVF, they will be more accepting of your pregnancy. However, it still stings. I would probably call first -- not email -- and give them the news personally. And just be matter-of-fact; no need for jubilation. Just try to treat them the way you would like to be treated if the roles were reversed. And remind them that they *will* be successful, it's just a matter of time.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:08 PM FlagI have never dealt with infertility so I may be completely off base here, but it seems to me that while you do want to be sensitive to them and not gloat, you also don't want to go too far in the other direction, as though you're "breaking" something to them. It's good news and they're your friends. I think it would be patronizing to pretend that you are anything less than happy to share your good fortune with them, as you would be happy if they were sharing their good fortune with you.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:33 PM FlagI think telling them in advance is wise and thoughtful. But if you feel that e-mail is better than calling I think that's OK. If they are not super close friends I think e-mail is fine. But I also sort of agree with the 'don't make a huge deal' poster above. You don't want them to think you are feeling sorry for them, etc.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 04:07 PM FlagI think e-mail is okay, just a nice quick note saying "we're looking forward to seeing you at x's party, just wanted to give you a heads up before you hear it through the grapevine since we know you're going through the same thing that it looks like our cycle was successful and we are crossing our fingers that you will be joining us soon." We had 2dary IF and my SIL called the second the pee was dry on her pregnancy test to tell DH her news right after we got a bad fertilization report. He almost hung up on her, and I almost certainly would have - but you're clearly more sensitive than that!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 04:44 PM FlagI am one of the having trouble getting pregnant people, miscarriages, etc. and it drive me CRAZY when people walk on eggshells around me. Yes it stings and sometimes I cry to my husband when I get home, but I am also so incredibly happy and excited for them that I want to hear their news and share their joy! I ends up hurting my feelings when people hold back telling me news or talking about drs appts or ultrasounds. I don't want to feel out of the loop or that people are afraid to upset me- only makes it more awkward. I say share the news as if you would to anyone, otherwise it will come across as though you think they won't be happy for you, IMO.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:26 PM Flagbeen in your shoes, but there's something a little smug and condescending seeming (though I know it's not your intention!) about 'breaking the news' to them beforehand. The more relaxed you are about it, the more they'll be. If you treat it like oversensitive information, they'll respond over-sensitively. If you act normal happy, they will too (What goes on behind their closed doors later is not your business). Congrats!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 08:38 PM Flag
[+] Do I have to wait two weeks? Can't I go to the dr. earlier for a blood test? At what ... 26 replies
- I had 2 miscarriages and then got pregnant with our 2nd old DS all within a year, no medical assistance - relax, enjoy the months...
- Had a baby, then a miscarriage 1 yr later, then another healthy baby (preg 3 months post miscarriage) . Try not to make this the sole focus of your life, it will happen....
Talk : : December 07, 2011
Do I have to wait two weeks? Can't I go to the dr. earlier for a blood test? At what point can they detect pregnancy- this is driving me insane!
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.07.11, 05:15 PM Flag ]You don't even have to go to your doctor - you can go to a clinic and pay 20.00 and get a blood test.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 05:29 PM FlagThat sounds a bit ghetto, no? I went to drs office - a nurse does it and most will let you pop in same day.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:39 PM FlagMy doctor's office does it too, I just don't want to sound like a crazy person calling them to ask if I can come in- she told me to call her in two weeks if I got a positive pregnancy test.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:40 PM FlagTell them you are having a dental procedure and they require a preg test.... Not that I would know about doing this... :). From one crazy person to another, this is a very easy and effective little white lie.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:44 PM Flaghello fellow crazy friend, i'm so desperate i don't think i would even make up a story. maybe i'll just call tomorrow and tell the truth- that the waiting is driving me nuts. i was just wondering how many other crazies out there do this.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:48 PM Flag-
so if you were to try this :) how many days past ovulation would you wait??
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:49 PM Flag
Who cares what they think, don't ask, TELL them you are coming in for a preg blood test, period. Just make sure it isn't really too early for it to be detected by any test, otherwise this is pointless. I went in for a blood test a day before my period would start bc I was going in vacation and didnt want to be drinking all week if I was preg. If your dr wo
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:49 PM Flag
Earliest is 7-10 days. The problem is a negative test at that stage doesn't mean anything.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:55 PM Flag^^^and you don't have to mess with this dr's office stuff. Just test at home. There is stuff online about what brands are good for testing early
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:57 PM Flag-
^^ twice I was pregnant, and twice the HPTs showed negative when I was 3.5 weeks pregnant already! I tried all the best early response brands and none of them picked up either preg befor I was 4 weeks pregnant! Now I just go right to the drs office when I miss my period, same day! Some women have low hcg levels for the first 2-3 weeks.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:02 PM Flag
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That's true, so maybe just wait until the day of/ day before missed period? Unless you're willing to go every week! Good luck. If it's not this month it will be another month.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:58 PM Flagthanks for the support, everyone! this is our first month trying (with a little bit of medical assistance) after a loss earlier this year, i guess i'm just feeling a bit desperate for some good news, so we can end the year on a happy note even though we've been through some bad stuff....please keep your fingers crossed for me!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:09 PM Flag
[+] Has anyone been treated by Dr. Shattman in Cornell? What was your experience? 18 replies
- I find him a bit cold too at times, but who cares as long as he can fix the problem. Congratulations on you baby! That's amazing news. I had a miscarriage in August (my first pregnancy) and then needed 2 d&cs for retained products. Now he just diagnosed me with Asherman's. Super nervous for the surgery. I really hope he can fix it....
Talk : : December 07, 2011
Has anyone been treated by Dr. Shattman in Cornell? What was your experience?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.07.11, 02:14 PM Flag ]-
Yes - he is without doubt the best doctor I've ever been fortunate enough to have. He is amazingly talented as a surgeon, has the best bedside manner, and is compassionate and caring. Recommend the highest I can. Have referred several friends to him.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:17 PM FlagThanks for your reply. I have a surgery scheduled with him.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:19 PM FlagIf you are like me, you are nervous. Dont be (at least try not to be) - you are in the best of hands, i mean it! He truly is amazing, I feel SO lucky that I found him. He's THAT good.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:20 PM FlagThat's amazing :) Would you mind me asking what he treated you for? I was just diagnosed with Asherman's. I'm so scared.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:27 PM Flag
Yes! I love him. In fact today is literally the one year anniversary of getting a laparoscopy for endometriosis. It turned out to be Stage 4 (which is severe and you don't know how severe till you have someone go in and look). And he did a hysteroscopy while he was down there which he does as a routine for laps. I wasn't getting pregnant and we had tried for almost a year so I decided to get the surgery. I was terrified (I've never even had a cavity never mind a medical issue) and he was great. Now I am nearing my due date with our first baby! I thought he was a bit cold (but super competent) when I fist met him but once I became his patient he turned into a really nice guy. Schattman is an AMAZING surgeon. Feel very confident that you are pretty much going to the best in NYC. And you don't even have to have general anesthesia with a hysteroscopy. I had to have general with a lap but you won't. I was just remembering what a nervous wreck I was last year, waiting around the hospital for my surgery. You won't even see your incision b/c it will be in your belly button and it will be tiny. I can see mine now since my belly button has popped out and it's so small. I have two other little scars though from my surgery. Oh well. You'll be fine, I promise. And if he finds anything he's just the guy to fix it!! Good luck and let us know what happens, OK?
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 03:43 PM FlagI find him a bit cold too at times, but who cares as long as he can fix the problem. Congratulations on you baby! That's amazing news. I had a miscarriage in August (my first pregnancy) and then needed 2 d&cs for retained products. Now he just diagnosed me with Asherman's. Super nervous for the surgery. I really hope he can fix it.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 05:30 PM FlagI genuinely believe if anyone can fix it, he can. He was very business with me pre-surgery but I was still confident in his ability (between the recommendations I received for him and his general approach to my condition). But after surgery he was like a different guy -- super nice and funny. At my 2-week post-surgery follow up he was great, like a totally different guy. And then when I was pregnant I did my first ultrasound with him and was super cautious, having me in for bloodtests, etc. But at my u/s he was genuinely giddy for me. Hopefully you will have the same experience. Also, in the OR he was so nice. I was literally crying as I walked in, I was so scared. And he was telling jokes and being nice. I hope he can fix it, too. I wish you the best. Is Asherman's the heart shaped uterus issue? Isn't that what Rosie Pope has? And now she is pg with #3!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 05:44 PM Flag
did my surgery-- super-smart, funny, and caring in my experience. But, I've heard others find him cold. Either way, I felt very comfortable in his hands. incisions were very neat.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 03:48 PM Flag
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[+] Spinoff: ever get the feeling that people who don't find out gender in advance think ... 173 replies
- to feel a bit more attached. I found with my first pregnancy that I felt pretty detatched after having a couple of miscarriages - I didn't really believe it was going to happen. Knowing I was having a little girl helped me to picture...
- I'd say sensitivity training for a miscarriage is in a different league than accidentally mentioning the sex of the baby....
Talk : : December 06, 2011
Spinoff: ever get the feeling that people who don't find out gender in advance think they're somehow superior?
173 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.06.11, 06:56 PM Flag ]Yes and I think they get burned sometimes when the baby is not the gender they had hoped
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:03 PM FlagI think they think its cute, like they are doing the entire parent thing right. Just like not getting an epidural. I find it annoying. That information is already out there.... you want not to be told. And you want to believe in Santa Claus... ahhh too much wine for a week night.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:17 PM FlagOp: I was actually going to make the no epidural analogy, keep drinking it works for you!
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:19 PM FlagI didn't get an epidural but i found out the sex of my baby....didn't seem like the same thing to me at all. i think people should do whatever they want but for me, there was no way I would choose to not find out ....as it is a surprise either way
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 08:14 PM FlagSame here. I thought about not finding out because I didn't care, but DH really wanted to. In the end, I'm glad I did because it helped make the idea of a baby more concrete to me. I was more surprised that she looked EXACTLY like her dad than I was about her sex!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 08:53 AM Flag-
i just think that is unfair. i had no epidural and I don't think anything about what anyone else does or what I do with future kids. it went my way the first time and I was glad to have the experience but I don't expect anyone else to. It just sounds like if you are criticizing women who didn't have an epidural for trying to make you feel bad for your choice - you are doing it by trying to make them feel bad about their choice - thus doing the same thing you find disagreeable.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 05:02 PM Flag
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Yes. In our defense, people getting all frustrated when you don't know is also annoying. As if you're denying them the fundamental right to buy you pink receiving blankets.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:27 PM Flagyou find it annoying that people want to know if they can get the dress or the sailor suit they'd love to buy you? self. centered.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:39 PM FlagYes, this is it. I didn't know with either of my children and my mother swore at me, and spoke to me in her sternest voice, demanding that I tell her. It was sort of funny. FWIW, I didn't have an epidural with my 2nd and it was so exciting to be the first one to see what he was.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 04:17 PM Flag
No. I think they are different from me, and it's interesting that they are so attached to something so temporary - like you aren't going to know soon anyway, and like it's not going to be a big, great exciting day regardless. I don't get it at all. But I don't think they necessarily feel superior - not if they are my nice friends, as some have been. They are just more into cute or symbolic stuff than I am.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:31 PM FlagI had 3 kids and didn't find out with any. Also had 2 of 3 (last 2) without epidural, incl one induced with pitocin. Yes, superior :)
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:38 PM FlagYou are an idiot to think you are superior. Hanging your worth on something that lasts a day. :)
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:45 PM FlagNp. BS. I am so proud of having natural childbirth and I can tell you that the pride lass much longer than a day. I am proud because it was a mental and physical challenge/test, akin to running a marathon, which I prepared for and accomplished.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:13 AM FlagBut, to feel superior about it? I run marathons and don't feel superior.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:33 AM Flag-
NP. I don't think it is merely semantics at all. One can be happy and proud of reaching a goal they wanted to attain without feeling disdain towards those who simply don't have the same goals. Natural childbirth and running a marathon are on the bucket list for fewer people in the world than you realize.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 09:11 AM Flag
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It is NOT akin to running a marathon. One takes months of training, the other doesn't. Please!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:45 AM Flag
I have a friend who found out the sex and chose a name but wouldn't tell anyone, which is so weird.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:42 PM FlagOp: I don't share name until birth. The critiques would bum me out.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 07:51 PM Flag-
Not sharing the name is actually a good idea. People will tell you they hate the name or it reminds them of some creep when the kid isn't here yet. Once it is born people keep their dumb opinions to themselves, usually anyway.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 11:53 AM Flagi know a few people who did this. they did this because they liked a name but didn't want the grief of people reacting to it and affecting their personal feelings for the name before the baby was born. once the baby is named that name officially, people aren't going to try to get them to change it, usually.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 01:06 PM Flag
For all you people who are annoyed at people for feeling superior, you sure come off as sounding like you feel superior...
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 08:09 PM FlagI didn't with #1 and didn't feel at all superior, although I was so annoyed with the judgy prying that I didn't let anyone know when I DID find out for #2.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 08:10 PM FlagLOL - People who find out and don't tell anyone crack me up. Think people are just dying to know what sex your baby is? I promise you, no one (except perhaps grandparents which it would just be weird to keep from) really cares. People have their own sh&t to wrorry about. They were only pretending to care because they didn't want you to feel awkward.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 08:50 AM Flag
Yes. I decided not to find out the sex of my 3rd db bc my first two are the same sex and I got a lot of "Oh, you must really really want a [other sex] baby!" and "I hope it works out for you this time - hope you get your [other sex]" I couldn't take it. And then when I told ppl I wasn't finding out, I got a lot of comments from other moms who didn't find out about how the birth is "so much more special" when you don't know. (It wasn't any more special than my first two.)
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 08:15 PM FlagYes. Not all of them or anything, but I definitely get the feeling that some of them think that it's "better" not to find out in advance because it means you're more enlightened or something. Like they think those of us who find out are just a bunch of K-Mart shoppers eager to color-code the nursery and push our kids into gender molds.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 08:29 PM FlagThat's exact,y what I thought! If you're not, why do you need to know otherwise?
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 09:15 PM FlagOP: I like to be able to start picturing this little person and it helps me to feel a bit more attached. I found with my first pregnancy that I felt pretty detatched after having a couple of miscarriages - I didn't really believe it was going to happen. Knowing I was having a little girl helped me to picture it all better and to get excited. Her room is green and blue, btw :-)
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:47 AM Flag
We didn't find out with our first because the whole thing was kind of a novelty. With subsequent kids it's just kind of nice to be able to wash, fold, etc. the clothes that are suitable in advance and then give the rest to charity, as hand-me-downs to cousins, etc.. It's just a logistic thing.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:11 AM FlagThat only makes sense if you're only going to have 2 kids!!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:16 AM FlagThe giveaway, sure, but separating out the clothes applies if you have 15 kids.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:20 AM Flag
Ever get the feeling that people who overthink things that don't really matter think they're somehow superior?
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 09:40 PM Flag-
Let me give you a slightly different perspective. I didnt find out with my twins (which people thought was really crazy) for 2 reasons. First, everything about my conception and pregnancy had been so clinicial and so TMI, as I did IVF for years, so I could tell you fertilization rates, embryo cell counts etc etc and I wanted something to feel like a surprise and "old school." My second reason was I had been through a lot of trauma prior, 5 m/cs, I very late, that I didnt want to feel too attached if that makes sense. It was too much for me to believe this could really happen after what I went through. So feel superior? Absolutely not. Feel like a complete nervous wreck who just wanted to feel "normal" and "natural" Absolutely. Just another perspective.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 04:21 AM FlagNp: I get this. The main reason for me to know and choose a name was about bonding. You start to think about a specific baby with nickname at all. I agree with others that the surprise is there anyway. I think that Jewish don't tell bc superstition, at least my coworkers don't want the baby shower and never say the name even if they already chose one
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 04:30 AM FlagI don't know how people don't go crazy waiting the whole time to find out the gender. I found out at 16 weeks because it was making me crazy. I am so happy i did because I was able to tell my mother and she died before she could meet him. It makes me feel like she knew him a little bit.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 05:47 AM Flag
My mom suggested I was a control freak and thus of course would find out. So maybe some feel smug they are so relaxed, go with the flow, etc? Btw, after I did find out, I didn't tell my mom for a day or two--drove her crazy as she wanted to know.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 06:11 AM FlagIt's kind of funny - we didn't find out for our first and then did for the next two. I will say, though, that I've gotten a holier-than-thou vibe from many who don't find out. Kind of like they're above mundane things like wondering whether it's a boy or a girl.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:05 AM Flag-
I didn't say "need to know", I said "wonder." If you're not wondering about the sex of your baby, that's a little odd.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:21 AM FlagNobody *needs* to know - it's a curiosity thing. See, the "I don't need to know" thing implies that others can't exercise self-restraint, it's smug.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:32 AM Flag
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I do think the secrecy imposed on medical staff is a little much sometimes, though. I've had friends flip out when the X-Ray technician accidentally mentioned the sex of the baby. Seriously, they're here for health reasons, not to preserve the "magic" for two adults.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:14 AM Flagthe sex of the baby has nothing to do with the health of the baby. they should all be trained to speak in the "neutral".
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:15 AM Flag
I admit that I am a little bit old school. I do get more excited when a friend goes into labor and I am waiting to hear "its a..." versus when they already know. maybe it is because we almost take it for granted that the baby will be healthy nowadays. but mostly I don't think about it and if I was smug it wasnt intentional.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 07:36 AM Flag100% agree! i did find out, but that's because my dr. slipped. But i love when people don't find out. Have you ever been in the waiting room for both situations? When my baby was delivered, the news was...he's here! When the family next to us learned the gender, it was an entirely different reaction. Not smug, it's just fun! I also didn't want to know because I really wanted to stick to gender neutral things so that I could use them with subsequent kids.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 08:21 AM Flag
How is it that so many people can be pro-choice - it is the mother's right to chose whether she carries the baby or not and no one should judge her for her decision, but sooooo many people are entitled to judge a mother who decides to not find out the gender - it is her body, her baby and her decision - it is not about you - find something real to complain about!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 08:27 AM FlagI can see how you would think that, but like the poster above, I didn't want to find out because I was afraid of something terrible happening and getting too attached. DH didn't want to find out because he thought it would be fun. I definitely don't think I'm superior to moms who found out.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 08:59 AM FlagHold on there -- this whole post is about people who found out bashing people who didn't fine out and you have the audacity to say that those who don't find out are smug or bossy? Nuts! FWIW, I didn't find out with #1 and got a lot of crap about it-- people saying "Well, I like to plan." (As if I don't.) I did find out with #2 and that was because (I am ashamed to admit this) I was hoping for a certain gender. I think people should do what they want and a lot of times people feel anytime someone does something differently from them that they are being judged. It's often no true and often not that deep.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 11:20 AM FlagI find it more annoying when people know the sex, are already calling the kid by the name and the middle name, have the nursery all set up. Leave a little something to the imagination.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 11:35 AM FlagI found out because I wanted to know. I don't think I'm superior or inferior for that decision. It works the other way too. When I found out, I heard from several people, "well I didn't/won't find out because I wanted to be surprised." Like I wasn't surprised to find out.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 11:51 AM FlagI automatically assume someone is a tool if they decide not to find out gender in advance.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 01:06 PM Flagme too, but I imagine that is me being snotty/superior. But agreed, seems so lame and delusional to me, I can't help it!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 01:19 PM Flag-
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You can find out, it's fun to find out, it helps you bond with "it" (which becomes "him" or "her") when you find out, you can answer annoying people's questions about gender much more quickly if you know, etc. Why wouldn't someone find out? There really isn't any good reason, and it comes off as smug.
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:06 PM Flagomg, I have to assume you're joking. Who is the smug one here?!?! I for one didn't feel the need to know. The gender of my child didn't impact my ability to bond with my child and if I felt it did, I would have found out. I wanted to maintain some of the surprise/old school feel of having a child, when everything wasn't so clinical. Bottom line is that didn't matter, so why find out!?
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 02:11 PM Flag
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You're kidding me? I just think they want a surprise. For us we did IVF so we wanted something that wasn't clinical. UB is so crazy. If your child goes to Dalton you're a wanna-be. If your child is beautiful you're so vain. Etc. etc. Focus on yourselves, your family, close friends and people in need. Overthinking like this must be a full time job!
[ Reply | More ]12.07.11, 03:40 PM Flag
[+] miscarriage moms...how many days of spotting did you have (if any) before heavy bleed... 7 replies
- Hi, I had spotting and bleeding with #2 and #3 and I am happy to report that both are beautiful and healthy babies. Hang in there! I did have a miscarriage too and there was no difference with the bleeding....
Talk : : December 06, 2011
[+] 5 weeks pregnant, just a couple of months after having a miscarriage.... soooo nervou... 16 replies
- Sister and Mom had 1 miscarriage each (first) and went on to have 2 &...
- me! had a miscarriage and 2weeks later was pregnant (didn't wait a...periord, just a positive pregnancy test on post miscarriage d28). DS is 3 now! i remember...
- I had two back to back miscarriages and the third one was a charm. I...
- I had two miscarriages and then had #2 and #3 after many...
Talk : : December 06, 2011
5 weeks pregnant, just a couple of months after having a miscarriage.... soooo nervous things aren't going to work out again. dr did blood work for progesterone & hcg levels yesterday and just sitting here waiting for him to call with the results. dont really have a question just nervous and would love to hear stories about people who had easy pregnancies after miscarriages!
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.06.11, 11:45 AM Flag ]Me! Had 3 early miscarriages, which they believe were chromosomal. I'm now 21 weeks along and feeling great! We just had the anatomy scan today, and the baby looks beautiful and healthy. How far along were you when you miscarried the last time?
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 11:48 AM Flagcan't share a story, just wanted to say i'm sending you good wishes...i had to terminate my last pregnancy for medical reasons, and am sitting here right now on a two week wait to find out if i'm pregnant again....very nervous- even if i am pregnant, i still will have concerns that things will go wrong again. i'm wishing you luck and hope everything works out ok this time!
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 11:50 AM Flagyou are me. i mc'd in july and am now 5 wks pregnant. super nervous that there will be something wrong. i've already had two progesterone/hcg levels which look fine. i wont feel at ease until i see a heartbeat on the ultrasound which will be at the end of this month.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 11:59 AM Flagop: that is literally exactly my situation - exact same dates! do you have much in the way of symptoms yet? some days i feel a bit nauseous and sore breasts that seem to come and go. keep worrying that i dont "feel" pregnant enough but maybe its too early. had terrible morning sickness with db#1 but cant remember now when that started.
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 12:04 PM Flag
me! had a miscarriage and 2weeks later was pregnant (didn't wait a cycle and never got a periord, just a positive pregnancy test on post miscarriage d28). DS is 3 now! i remember how nervous I was for the second pregnancy, I wouldn't let myself believe that it was going to be all right until I was well past the point that I had miscarried the first time. Hang in there, think positively, good luck!
[ Reply | More ]12.06.11, 12:03 PM Flag
[+] I went off bc eight weeks ago to ttc. Had a period (which came on time, even though m... 1 reply
- Your body is just adjusting. An early miscarriage (often called chemical pregnancy) is not a pregnancy at all - just an adjustment period. I had one between DCs. I nursed and DCs are 16 mos. apart (I guess they could have been closer) I had one or twoish periods between kids....
Talk : : December 05, 2011
I went off bc eight weeks ago to ttc. Had a period (which came on time, even though my hormones were going crazy-- zits and mood swings). So, not preg that month. Then, a week and a half later, I got another period. Clotty bright blood and sharp cramps. Could I really have two periods in a month, or is it possible I had an early miscarriage? I was on a low-estrogen pill for about two years.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | More12.05.11, 08:55 PM Flag ]Your body is just adjusting. An early miscarriage (often called chemical pregnancy) is not a pregnancy at all - just an adjustment period. I had one between DCs. I nursed and DCs are 16 mos. apart (I guess they could have been closer) I had one or twoish periods between kids.
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 09:10 PM Flag
[+] Trying to get pregnant again after miscarriage and I am 31. Got pregnant (luckily) v... 10 replies
- This happened to my friend (early 30s). She had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and was pregnant again 3 months later. Her DDS is 10 months now and...had miscarriage #1 at 6 weeks, miscarriage #2 at eight weeks and requiring a D&C, then miscarriage #3 was a chemical pregnancy. My 4th preganancy became my beautiful DD....
- My best friend had two miscarriages right in a row and now she is pregnant with her third, about 8 months pregnant. You...
Talk : : December 05, 2011
Trying to get pregnant again after miscarriage and I am 31. Got pregnant (luckily) very easily the first time but have been trying for 4 months now and still no good news. Anyone out there have positive stories and got pregnant quickly again after mc? I feel like I am going crazy waiting to try again each month and not getting pregnant.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.05.11, 05:35 PM Flag ]
[+] I’m 30 and pregnant with our first. Was always anxious about Down, saw a family str... 12 replies
- Get the amnio. Risk of miscarriage is extremely low. Will they do that for you at 30 for no good...from an excellent doctor who is specialized in this. de minimus miscarriage risk if that's the case. I was you--a bit...
- The miscarriage rate is actually pretty miniscule if you control for the...it's not surprising that they have a higher rate of miscarriage after. If your baby is healthy your rate should be...
Talk : : December 05, 2011
I’m 30 and pregnant with our first. Was always anxious about Down, saw a family struggling with this and know that we would terminate if we knew. Struggling to decide whether or not to do amnio, got NT test and they looked great but still feel like we want to know 100% but on the other hand terrified on miscarriage :( would go to top doctor in NYC but still there is a chance. Any advice ladies???
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreGet the amnio. Risk of miscarriage is extremely low. Will they do that for you at 30 for no good reason?
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 08:39 AM FlagGet the amnio from an excellent doctor who is specialized in this. de minimus miscarriage risk if that's the case. I was you--a bit older--but 33. Great numbers. Knew I would terminate an amnio child no matter what. I think that's the answer. Age/odds/statisitics are irrelevant if you live in a major metro area with access to a great amnio doc. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 08:41 AM FlagThe miscarriage rate is actually pretty miniscule if you control for the conditions that motivated the amnio in the first place. That is, many women get the amnios because the pregnancy is already problematic, so it's not surprising that they have a higher rate of miscarriage after. If your baby is healthy your rate should be very low.
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 08:47 AM FlagI felt the same and had a CVS both time - best thing I ever did, the piece of mind was what I needed. Plus, you get information on ANY genetic issue (rarer ones, CF, etc.) so you know everything. Get the amnio.
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 09:27 AM FlagThis is not true. You DO NOT get information on "ANY genetic issue (rarer ones, CF, etc)" from a having a routine chromosome analysis from CVS tissue. Please do not spread false information. A routine chromosome analysis from CVS tissue (what most people refer to as "CVS") will give you chromosome count and basic structual information about the chromosomes. It will not tell you about other genetic disorders that are not due to either numerical chromosome abnroamlities or large sturcturla chromosomes abnormalities. Please discuss the utility of the test with you physician not with UBers. Signed Geneticist Mom
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 09:51 AM FlagIs it true though that you have to be a carrier for one of those abnormalities to occur?
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 10:47 AM FlagNot sure what you meant by "one of those abnormalities" but I'll give it a shot. There are a number of rare genetic disorders which your baby/fetus has a 25% chance of having if both you and your DH are "carriers". These disorders are absolutley NOT tested for by a routine "CVS". There are also a number of rare genetics disorders that you baby/fetus can have, but neither parent needs to be a "carrier". These include numerical chromosome abnormalities, large structural chromosome abnormalities and small structural chromosome abnormalities. The CVS test will test for the first two (numerical and large) but not the small abnormalities. This of course is a simplification of the complexities of genetic abnormalities, but hope helps you a little bit.
[ Reply | More ]12.05.11, 11:21 AM Flag
[+] I had an early ( 5/6 week) miscarriage a 33 days ago and am wondering if anyone had t... 8 replies
- I had a 5-6 wk miscarriage and it took about 5 -5 more weeks to get my period then wen tback...
- I had a 5 week miscarriage last month post IVF. I went straight to a natural frozen IVF cycle, and they were monitoring my ovulation. My period came on time, and was basically the miscarriage, as I miscarried so early. But oddly enough, I ovulated a week late. And...
Talk : : December 01, 2011
I had an early ( 5/6 week) miscarriage a 33 days ago and am wondering if anyone had their cycle screwed up post-miscarriage. No DNC, I just bled for a week and all was expelled. Might my usually regular 36 day cycle be screwed up post-miscarge. Just took a neg preg test. Thx
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.01.11, 05:51 AM Flag ]took me about 2-3 cycles to be back on track, no D&C either. Sorry for your loss.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:32 AM FlagI had a 5-6 wk miscarriage and it took about 5 -5 more weeks to get my period then wen tback to my regular cycle (which is irregular). Got pg after trying for 2 more months. Sorry and GL.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 07:55 AM FlagI had a 5 week miscarriage last month post IVF. I went straight to a natural frozen IVF cycle, and they were monitoring my ovulation. My period came on time, and was basically the miscarriage, as I miscarried so early. But oddly enough, I ovulated a week late. And my electronic ovulation meter totally screwed up and said I ovulated as usual a week prior. The pee sticks (and obviously the RE's blood test) caught the ovulation. So, clearly I'm not back totally to normal as my ovulation was a week late, but on the positive side, I did ovulate and I am scheduled for a frozen embyo tranfer next week.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 11:41 AM Flag
[+] Has anyone been diagnosed with Asherman's syndrome after having a D&C and have had su... 12 replies
Talk : : November 30, 2011
Has anyone been diagnosed with Asherman's syndrome after having a D&C and have had successful pregnancies afterwards? Had a miscarriage this year and had to have 2 d&c's because there was a piece left over. Now I have uterine scaring (asherman's). I am so terrified I wont be able to have kids.
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI had uterine scarring and saw a great fertility doctor who took care of it surgically. I got pregnant and carried to term after. Make sure it is a uterine specialist who handles you, not just an ob.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:08 PM Flagyou need a surgeon who has experience in ashermans. dr. bruce young at nyu has helped 3 friends of mine with ashermans. it is much much more common than you think. also, join the support group on yahoo.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 03:12 PM Flag
[+] I had a miscarriage and at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. ... 18 replies
- Why was your miscarriage the best thing that ever happened to you?...
- .what week she was in when she had the miscarriage does not pertain to her story at all - so it does not matter as the replier said...
Talk : : November 30, 2011
I had a miscarriage and at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. So what? People are different. We don't all cry into our soup over the same things.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.30.11, 02:30 PM Flag ]
[+] anyone have a d&c or abortion around 5weeks? what was your recovery like? 6 replies
- No, but I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and physically it was no big deal. Emotionally I was a mess....
Talk : : November 30, 2011
[+] 10 weeks pregnant with no 2. When did you start showing? with my first I started feel... 35 replies
- because 7 weeks is too early to hear the heartbeat. I'm just wondering why people are obsessed with measurements and all that when there's nothing you can do if something goes wrong. No one ever reversed a 1st-trimester miscarriage once it began....
Talk : : November 30, 2011
10 weeks pregnant with no 2. When did you start showing? with my first I started feeling tight in my clothes at 12/13 weeks. I thought that with 2nd pregnancy it happens about a month before your first. Should I get worried? Anybody else had a similar experience? Thank you
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.30.11, 06:23 AM Flag ]10 weeks is early to start showing. Have you been to the dr yet? I'm sure youre fine.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:38 AM Flagyes. twice. at 6 and 8 weeks. Heartbeat was great and everything was fine. next appt is at 12.5 weeks...
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:40 AM FlagWhy have you gone twice? Isn't three times in the first trimester a bit much? It's not like they could do anything for you if there was a problem...
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:44 AM Flagnp- no this is normal if your 1st appt is very early on, they will ask you to come back to do more accurate measuring/dating
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:46 AM FlagI was asking because my experiences were nothing like this. I was seen at 8 weeks the first time and then 4 weeks later. The second time I was seen at 7 weeks (I miscalculated the conception date so basically they just confirmed that I was indeed pregnant) and then again at 11 weeks when we heard the heartbeat.) I only ever had 2 ultrasounds for the entire pregnancy, both times.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:49 AM Flagop only went one more visit than you during 1st trimester. doesn't seem like a very big difference
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:51 AM FlagBut why go every two weeks? And they only let me come in at 7 weeks because I told them I was 9 weeks along which we figured out was totally wrong when we were doing the initial consultation. It was a waste of time because 7 weeks is too early to hear the heartbeat. I'm just wondering why people are obsessed with measurements and all that when there's nothing you can do if something goes wrong. No one ever reversed a 1st-trimester miscarriage once it began.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 06:55 AM Flag
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No. I have amazing insurance (both of my pregnancies are 100% covered). But ultrasounds are not really necessary beyond the nuchal and the 20-week anatomy scan. Measurements are notoriously inaccurate, and no one knows the long-term effects of bombarding a growing fetus with sonogram waves. I preferred to do the bare minimum. If there had been some sort of problem detected I would have loved further tests, but there were none, so we went on faith, just like women used to do.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:00 AM FlagI think 2 ultrasounds is crappy insurance. Nothing harmful about "sonogram waves" Ask your doc
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:03 AM FlagNo, it's really not "crappy insurance." I am low-risk and see a midwife, not an OB, but if I wanted to I could have chosen an OB and gone ultrasound-happy, too. And there is no real data to say that the sonogram waves are harmful or harmless, and I see no point other than my assurance that everything is "okay" (when really, their measurements are not often correct), and that's not enough for me to potentially risk harm to my growing fetus. My midwife measures me with her hands each visit and if I am not measuring correctly, I'm sure she'll have me do an ultrasound.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:15 AM Flag-
I wasn't a midwife person, I have awesome insurance, and in pregnancy #1 I only had two scheduled utrasounds - that's all I needed. They slipped me in for a third during a late appointment because the doc wasn't sure if she was feeling the head. And that was at a very upscale and very traditional OB practice.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 08:42 AM Flag
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But that's just it, it's just "faith" not actual faith because science is not making low-risk birth any safer (it is, however, making high-risk birth possible without death, and that is an amazing thing). If your pregnancy is low-risk, there really is no need for ultrasounds at every visit, or even internal exams.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:27 AM Flag^^You do that. If the number of people who HAD To HAVE a c-section 10,000 years ago was the same rate that it is now-the human race may not have survived-40% I believe is the current rate. Great Science.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:57 AM FlagThis. Emergency C-sections are amazing and probably the number 1 reason women don't die in childbirth like they did in the past. But they are being overused and thought of as safer than natural vaginal birth. This is dangerous for women because it is changing what we consider as "normal" in this country to something that is not safer or better for women and babies, though it is better for insurance companies.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 08:01 AM Flagfor many, non-emergency c-sections give the illusion of being more safe than vaginal birth and no-risk because they are so "controlled," but that's just not true. women willingly let doctors slice them open when there is a perfectly normal and natural alternative - vaginal delivery - and that's just bizarre.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 08:13 AM Flag
NP: I totally got flamed last time I said I only get 2 ultrasounds & that that's normal. I work in a hospital (lawyer but most of my colleagues are drs, as are DH (who actually is an ultrasound radiologist) and my sister). I have amazing insurance - my babies could be in NICU for 9 months and I wouldn't pay one cent. More than 2 are just not necessary in healthy pregnancy. I also don't live in NYC, so there is less of a "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality. If everyone I knew were getting tons of U/S's, I'd probably want more too. (And admittedly I am lucky, in that DH gives me just-for-fun U/S's)
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:16 AM Flag
Actually, if you are 5 weeks pregnant, the earlier the ultrasound the better for measuring/dating
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:17 AM Flag
op here: this is how my doc practice does it. 1st appt around 6 weeks to confirm the pregnancy. second appt at 8 weeks to take measuraments and everything. 3rd at the end of the trimester (no more u/s) around same time of first trimester screening. I just got lucky that heartbeat was visible (with both pregnancies) at 6+1 weeks, so i saw the heartbeat twice.
[ Reply | More ]11.30.11, 07:17 AM Flag
[+] 15 weeks today- how many lbs had you gained at 15 weeks? 30 replies
- I remember being newly pregnant after several miscarriages and being completely freaked out that I haven't gained weight. Don't judge....
- Sorry about your miscarriages but this is still a sad post....
Talk : : November 29, 2011
15 weeks today- how many lbs had you gained at 15 weeks?
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.29.11, 11:19 AM Flag ]-
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This is UB and you know damn well she's concern that she's not gaining too much weight, or she might be miscarrying. She's worried about gaining too much weight and is doing a weight poll to see how much everyone else gain. If I'm wrong I'll say I'm wrong. As of now this is a sad post.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:13 PM FlagThis is UB and this is where I went to post the same question when I gained no weight. I received far more support then than I would if I posted today, I see.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:14 PM Flagnp: I posted when I was in my first trimester and had extreme food aversions and thus lost weight. UB told me I had an eating disorder, which I don't. Well, technically, I did, but it wasn't my fault - it was the pregnancy's - and I wasn't trying to lose weight. But UB was convinced that I was fooling myself and trying to diet. Once my food aversions went away, and they did in the second trimester, I started gaining weight normally.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:19 PM FlagDon't blame me. A good amount of women on this board have serious issue with food and weight. These are the same women that thinks a woman that is 5' 8" and weights 150 is fat. If you would have posted about not gaining enough weight in your pg and you're worried I would have gave you some support. But we know that's not what tis is about.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 12:24 PM Flag-
OP here: the other poster is absolutely right- I posted b/c I havent gained much and I am worried I am not gaining enough- and worried that something is wrong with the pregnancy. I struggled with infertility, and it's insulting you think I'd care about gaining too much weight.
[ Reply | More ]11.29.11, 03:12 PM Flag
[+] Anyone have multiple miscarriages (3+) and go on to have healthy pregnancies? 7 replies
Talk : : November 28, 2011
Anyone have multiple miscarriages (3+) and go on to have healthy pregnancies?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.28.11, 05:18 PM Flag ]Not me but a dear friend. She had two m/c at 6wks another at 3months and her third at 6 months at total heart breaker. Her final preg. she was stitched close and on bed rest. Her son is 11.
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 05:27 PM FlagOp: this sounds like my friend's experience, my heart breaks for her, I just hope this works out one of these days - it's too much.
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 05:30 PM FlagI never knew if it was right for me to encourage her, because she almost died physically and emotionally with the last miscarriage. I just realized I had a work friend that had 3 or 4 miscarraiges two where she almost died. She has the scare down the center of her body from when then had to restart her heart. She has a five year old son. In her case she already had one dc, so I was worried for her and her family that she did not stop trying.
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 05:35 PM Flag
[+] psychic mom on? am i pregnant? 17 replies
- 18 month old DD. Had a miscarriage at 5/6 weeks a couple of months ago. That preg wasn't planned but it made us realize that we want another!...
Talk : : November 28, 2011
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Ohhh, do me, do me too pls.... No period, neg preg test, but I feel pregnant!
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 02:00 PM Flag-
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op here: congrats!! i can't test for at least a week - yeah, it is that early :)
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 04:26 PM FlagI could totally tell as early as that - everyone says thats impossible, but I just felt different.
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 04:28 PM Flagi think i am, but won't know for sure til next week. just realized i have been feeling bizarre pinching sensations at the top of my pubic bone. well, at least i'm having fun obsessing :)
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 04:30 PM Flag
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Will I ever make real money? Will I become famous? When will my real life kick in?
[ Reply | More ]11.28.11, 02:16 PM Flag-
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UrbanBabyBuzz
Among the many, many reasons to be sad about Jim Henson’s tragic death: No more StoryTellers, ever. The dark fairy tale series was made in the late ’80s, but didn’t garner ratings high enough to make its giant price tag worth ...
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UrbanBabyNewYork
VisitSanta’s Winter GardenHead downtown to take a holiday photo with Santa, and meet his reindeer and Elves. Proceeds benefit the Brooke Jackman Foundation.When: Fri. & Sat. 12/9-12/10 10am-7pm, Sun. 12/11 10am-5pm (Santa breaks from 1- ...
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