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[+] Bottom line on live-in help: If you are without the background or experience to under... 21 replies
- of course she could have and then placed the child in daycare if she had reservations. I have had to let live in help go and when I make the decision to begin looking I also let them in on that so that we can both move on better. IMO, anything less is merely low down and...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Bottom line on live-in help: If you are without the background or experience to understand the special relationship and responsibility that goes along with having staff or child care live in, then you have no business having them. These are not people 'with jobs' this is a community. It is a goddamn village and you need to take care of that village. End of story.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 07:39 PM Flag ]-
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ladies, calm down. Just because a nanny is living in does not mean that you owe her any more than the courtesy given to other at-will employees. You should give her severance, of course. She will have a friend she can stay with and is not going to end up on the street.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:47 PM FlagThe point is not that she should not be treated as an at will employee. The point is that when you have a live-in situation it is an entirely different situation and you owe greater care and responsibility to her. No one is saying she should let her stay, give her packets of money or treat her like a relative, but when someone's job is linked to more than salary: home, location, furniture etc. you have to be honest and up front the moment you begin looking. If that is you are a good person. Which that woman is not.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:51 PM FlagI see the problem (sucks for all parties), but I don't think she could have told the nanny that she was looking to replace her-- they couldn't work together like that.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:54 PM Flagof course she could have and then placed the child in daycare if she had reservations. I have had to let live in help go and when I make the decision to begin looking I also let them in on that so that we can both move on better. IMO, anything less is merely low down and selfish. If you have the means to have live in help then you have the means to be gracious about a bad situation.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:04 PM Flag
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hi again low class mother with live in help she cannot manage!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:49 PM Flagwhy is it low class that she wants to replace her live in nanny? It hasn't been a long time and they obviously are not a good fit. She's doing everyone a favor. Also, it isn't a good idea for the fired nanny to be living in/continuing to work there after she's been let go. It isn't a "village," it is the nanny's (former) workplace.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:52 PM FlagBecause she has been looking for months and is letting her go now, right before Christmas. She doesn't have anywhere else to go, it's a horrible time to find a new job and it's, well, Christmas.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:06 PM Flagthe nanny has known that she didn't get along with the boss for months (and either thought the boss was an idiot or was waiting for the ax to drop), and making a very high salary with no living expenses. She's got savings. This is not a feudal situation where she has a vested right to the housing.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 08:08 PM Flag
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[+] there is an 90% chance that i am getting a divorce, but i managed to stall & slow dow... 11 replies
- OP: oh, this is great advice, ladies. do you think that i should enter my DS in daycare & get a low-paying job? divorce lawyer mom, are you still out there?...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
there is an 90% chance that i am getting a divorce, but i managed to stall & slow down the divorce process. the entire time we were married, i was very thrifty; my dh spent freely & rather recklessly, playing golf & going to the driving range several times per week, continuing to have lunch at restaurants even after he lost his job & was unemployed for 5 months. after talking to my lawyer, i realized that my frugal tendencies actually work against me in determining spousal support. so how should i adjust my behavior in these next few months, in case we end up getting a divorce? should i send cash to my brother on a regular basis for him to put in a secret account for me later on? should i buy gold? TIA. btw, the reason i don't spend money is b/c i'm very nervous about the economy, & my dh has lost his job 6 times since we got married in 2005. for me, having money in the bank buys me peace of mind. also, i am the child of immigrants. their philosophy was: for every $10 you earn, you should put at least $4 in the bank. no flamers, please.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 06:07 PM Flag ]they will probably ask for bank records from a couple years, you will get caught if you try to funnel it. Beyond that I'm not sure but good luck and I'm sorry
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:09 PM Flag-
Spend a lot on groceries, for one thing, and any other basics you can think of.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:10 PM Flag-
You need to start spending large amounts not on luxury items but daily, weekly, monthly necessities. Large grocery bills, puts DCS in classes, sports, activities, get a nanny, make small renovations to the house the kind of thing that qualifies as maintenance
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:15 PM Flag
[+] I'm having an anxiety attack - I've been looking for a new nanny for months and we fi... 83 replies
- from strangers on your reprehensible actions. Leave the live-ins to those of us who know how to handle and manage them. Put your child in daycare while you give this woman a fair shot. Daycare should feel far more familiar to you than this current arrangement....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
I'm having an anxiety attack - I've been looking for a new nanny for months and we finally found one. Problem is I now have to let my current nanny go - and its just a few weeks before Christmas. She is live-in with no where to go. I am going to let her stay her until New Years and pay her severance plus her bonus that she would have received if not let go. But I think the whole thing is going to be quite awful. Any advice would be much appreciated.
83 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 05:50 PM Flag ]how old is she? does she really have *nowhere* to go? no family or friends that she could stay with?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:53 PM Flag-
ugh - what's worse is i can't tell her until the 21st. that's when i will know for sure that we are hiring the new person. i just feel horrible although i can't wait to have someone new.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:00 PM Flagwell, you *could* tell her. Actually you could have told her already, since you've known for a while that you want to replace her. You just didn't want to have to deal with a gap in care if you didn't find someone or they fell through. Not saying you're wrong, but you obviously don't feel as horrible about this as you claim, or you wouldn't have done that.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:04 PM Flag
you should be helping your nanny find her next job now. you should have been looking for a new placement for her for the past few months. of course I'm assuming she can do her job and the main issue is a personality conflict.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:07 PM Flagseriously? she should have some kind of idea you were not happy with her performance. did you try to fix the problems?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:09 PM Flagi think she has some idea but the real blow out was in august. we've been looking ever since. but she might think that it blew over since it happened months ago
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:14 PM Flag-
^^^and if your prospective nanny knew what you were doing to the current one I bet she wouldn't take the job.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:17 PM Flagactual every nanny i interviewed i told them why i was letting my current nanny go and that my current nanny did not know. none of them seemed surprised. i was also upfront that although i didn't tell her i was going to let her go, i was going to pay her severance and that she would get unemployment insurance
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:24 PM Flag
i feel awful but i know i am not an awful person. not sure why its unfair - people get fired all the time and they don't know that's is coming although their employer might. i didn't force her to live-in. she didn't want to spend money on an apartment.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:18 PM Flag
what happened exactly? and how long has she been working for you?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:17 PM FlagOk it is obvious since you do not respond to the posters telling you what you really need to do here to be a good person that you are one of 'those' women.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:18 PM Flagi have no idea what "those" women are. i am not leaving this women on the street. i am giving her two weeks to move out plus more than $4. she will also get unemployment insurance.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:31 PM Flag"those women" are women like you who refuse to see themselves and their actions as they really are because you like to live with blinders. YOU have a responsibility to this woman as a live-in caretaker/nanny/babysitter of your child. This is not a job so much as her lifestyle and you are selfishly hiding your intentions so you can have an easy time of it. In short, you suck and you are a bad selfish person.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:33 PM Flagits not a job, its a lifestyle? seriously? she gets paid. its a job.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:38 PM FlagYou are clearly a new moneyed low class woman with no concept of what it truly means to take on live-in help. You simply do not deserve this or any woman to be living under your roof.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:40 PM Flagand you are seriously a bitter lonely person who gets their kicks writing things on an anonymous board that they would never say in real life. good luck with that - i am sure it will get you far in life. and i know you can come back with some equally obnoxious remark - but don't waste your time, i am sure you are a better person than me.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:42 PM Flag"than I am"......no, not bitter or lonely and if so, certainly no more so than you who is the poor soul who started this thread needing advice from strangers on your reprehensible actions. Leave the live-ins to those of us who know how to handle and manage them. Put your child in daycare while you give this woman a fair shot. Daycare should feel far more familiar to you than this current arrangement.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:47 PM Flag-
LIFESTYLE? As in, the nanny expects to maintain a lifestyle by living in OP's house and OP doesn't have the right to fire her and deprive her of that lifestyle? Responder, you. are. totally. insane. Off your rocker. Batshit. Do you live in a feudal castle with serfs tending your wheat in exchange for housing?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:58 PM Flag
you have to tell her it isn't the right fit and that you are looking. The other nanny might not take the job but if not, you'll continue to look. You also have to help her in any reasonable way with recommendations, etc. She is an employee, but you made a big commitment when you had her move in. Be fair
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:19 PM Flag
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I can't believe you. Do you have any idea how bad the nanny market is right now FOR THE NANNIES??? It took you months to find a new nanny, and you set it up so you will not have even the tiniest gap in care. Now she will be out on her a$$ with nowhere to go and in this terrible market. There are not that many live-in jobs in NYC. You're leaving her not only unemployed, but homeless! And you didn't have to! Awful. Completely awful. You'd better treat her like a frickin' QUEEN-- and no, I don't think 4k is enough for what you have done.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:47 PM Flag-
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if i was then i could have given her plenty of notice. but i am working mom, supporting a family with no back up childcare options. so, i have to find someone new while keeping my current nanny.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:07 PM Flag-
^^^a WOHM you wouldn't flutter around for 3 month trying uselessly to hire a new nanny while allowing your DC to be cared for by someone that you don't like that doesn't like you.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:12 PM Flagshe is good with my children. i have a personal issue with her. i never worried about my children.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:20 PM Flag
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If you really need a solution to this, why not be kind and keep her on until after the 1st of the year. You said the new nanny starts on the 21st, right? so start paying her, but don't have her start working until the 1st or second week of January when you break the news to your old nanny. You are going to be double paying for a few weeks in there anyway, kicking your old nanny out on the 21st, only saves you around 1 week of salary, give her a break and don't ruin the holidays.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:16 PM Flagok so is it better to fire her on the 21st and give her two to three weeks to move out. OR fire her after the first of the year and give her a week to move out? she has to be out by second week of January.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:22 PM Flag
[+] Hi, I was on here last night looking for recommendations for UWS daycare. Are there a... 4 replies
- I don't have any firsthand daycare experience, but I know someone who used purple circle and raves about it. From what she has to say, it sounds pretty terrific....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
[+] Posted a few days ago on where to live in NYC (relocating from London). Is Manhattan ... 101 replies
- I was here for that and there are several quality daycare options. It's not as if people were sayin the daycares sucked, just that few provided care for infants. And since COL is FH is cheaper, more people use nannies,that's all....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Posted a few days ago on where to live in NYC (relocating from London). Is Manhattan more expensive than outer boroughs other than housing? Groceries, after-school care and activities, cleaners etc? Trying to figure out a budget...
101 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 01:33 PM Flag ]-
^^And some neighborhoods within the boroughs are more expensive than others. Basically, the trendier neighborhoods that are close to Manhattan can be just as expensive as Manhattan. Less trendy neighborhoods are less expensive. You can find childcare in Manhattan for 2300 / month (day care), 1900 in a nice part of Brooklyn, and 1200 in a less trendy part.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:35 PM Flag-
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That's quite a definite statement! Why not???? I heard it's really good for kids although must admit it was a bit weird when we visited there a couple of months ago to check it out. There were people being wheeled around on hospital beds and every other person seemed to be missing a limb!!!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:49 PM FlagYes, this is exactly the issue. There are quite a few hospitals on the island, and it feels old and depressing. You are also isolated and at the mercy of 2 subways or that tram. I couldn't do it.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:53 PM FlagOK, got it. Guess there's a reason why rents are low there...
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:55 PM FlagIt's a place where your kids can go outdoors without you worrying about their safety. It's a place where you can put on your running outfit and start running straight from the front door. It's a place that has so much green parks that you have something to do with your children any time.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:00 PM Flag
There is a city owned physical care institution on Roosevelt Island. Half of it is scheduled to be shutdown and the patients are moved to other facilities. Yes, there are plenty of wheelchairs on the sidewalks but they really do not do any harm. They keep to themselves and/or are very nice peopel.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:58 PM Flag
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If you are from London you would hate the burbs of NY, stick to NYC.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:35 PM FlagThanks. That's what I thought. Looks like Manhattan is becoming less and less viable, Queens is beckoning...
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:39 PM Flag-
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Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Heights, Park Slope, Windsor Terrace
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:45 PM FlagYep, all those areas came up on my last post, they look lovely. I was also advised to avoid the F train!
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:47 PM FlagI can't say I completely disagree, having lived on the F line for the last decade. It's actually a great line in that it runs along 6th Ave in Manhattan, which pretty much gives you access to the east and west side. It runs above ground deep into Brooklyn, which makes it more vulnerable to weather related issues. I haven't really had any issues with the F specifically this past year, though.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:49 PM Flag
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See the post this morning about a lack of quality day care, especially for infants. Not sure how old OP's kids are, and whether she had planned on going with a Nanny
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:50 PM FlagForest HIlls looks amazing! I think it might be the place for us as need a commute to midtown east. Kids are sorted for schools.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:51 PM FlagI was here for that and there are several quality daycare options. It's not as if people were sayin the daycares sucked, just that few provided care for infants. And since COL is FH is cheaper, more people use nannies,that's all.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 01:51 PM Flag
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If you are coming from London I definitely suggest Brooklyn, Cobble hill or Boerum Hill, very popular with people moving from Europe. Stuff is cheaper than manhattan (not much but a little) and you can avoid the f by waking to 4/5 2/3 or a/c
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:02 PM FlagI agree you will be much more comfortable in Brooklyn there are a lot of Europeans in Cobble Hill especially. D15 is also a better school district.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:13 PM FlagLove how we're lumped together with Europeans! Ok, ok, I know we're 'officially' part of Europe but I'm not sure we have all that much in common with true Europeans - at least we speak the same language as Americans (kind of)
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:22 PM Flagnp: I find it odd that you don't feel like you should be associated with Europeans! Is that a typical reaction for a Londoner, or is that just your opinion? Many New Yorkers do not like to be lumped in with Americans, so we can relate.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:27 PM FlagI wish we were more like continental Europe! I don't know if it's typical but from our perspective it's also a language thing. I guess I don't feel very European with my rusty school French which I never get to use (anyway we've just isolated ourselves a little bit more from Europe...)
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:30 PM Flag
I would not move to the outer boroughs from London. No way, Jose! Manhattan or bust.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:15 PM FlagBayside, Whitestone are farther out in Queens, but both nice. Not good subway, but can take LIRR into Manhattan. Parts of Kew Gardens (near Forest Hills) are also quite charming. Astoria is very close and ethnic if that's what you're looking for and definitely more urban.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:19 PM FlagI'm a relocated London to New Yorker. Tell me where you live now and I'll match it to NYC.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:28 PM Flag-
^^^But would prefer to be a bit more central, kind of East Finchley, Muswell HIll kind of area
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:32 PM FlagI would say Park Slope Brooklyn then. It has a similar vibe without the Finchley traffic. Also the commute in to Manhattan is quicker then the commute from Finchley to say Picadilly.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:36 PM FlagWhat would you compare Forest Hills to? Also - have you found NYC to be cheaper or more expensive than London? I'm finding it hard to figure out a budget. Is $1200 OK for food if we spend about ยฃ100/week here on groceries (with kids on school dinners)?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:39 PM FlagI would say Forest Hill is Ealing/Hounslow in term of property types and location. Much cheaper than being central, not as exciting but you can get a perfectly good place there. Food in Manhattan is expensive because there is a lack of big super markets like Tescos, Sainsburys etc. There's a lot of small deli type places that are more expensive. But in the outer boroughs you get better grocery opens. So you should be fine in the boroughs with that budget but who knows in Manhattan as it depends where you shop.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:47 PM FlagYes, that's exactly what we were thinking. We came to visit a few months ago and couldn't believe the grocery prices in Manhattan. Is there no equivalent to Tesco, Asda or Sainsbury's delivery service (and prices)? Even Waitrose looks like a bargain.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:50 PM FlagNo there isn't and equivalent. There are a few supermarkets like Fairways but there's only 1 or 2 in Manhattan. And the delivery options aren't as good as in the UK. Online delivery is a little sparce.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:53 PM Flagnp: We are all hooked on this: www.freshdirect.com They deliver to the 5 boroughs.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:55 PM FlagI guess we've been spoiled in the UK. Kind of expected NYC to be the same and I thought I might have been missing something.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:57 PM Flagomg, are you kidding me ???? I lived in central Ldn ( South Ken and St. Paul's) and thought I would starve !!!! TESCO doesn't sell much apart from pre-made sandwiches and your produce looks horrible. NYC has Whole Foods, Citarella, Fairway, Dean and Deluca, Freshdirect.com, any of those are better option than the best supermarket in Ldn. You can buy ANYTHING ANY TIME of the year. Try that in Ldn.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 03:09 PM Flag
I also find most NYC boroughs are similar in ethnic diversity to most parts of London, maybe a little more Jewish. I don't think you would feel out of place in Forest Hill or Park Slope but Park Slope is nicer, closer to Manhattan and pretty much looks like north London in parts. But general I would say London is cheap and if you buy here the property taxes are astronomical compared to London.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 03:02 PM Flag
np Forest Hills is predominantly Jewish and Asian, and it is not even remotely trendy. It's residential.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:41 PM Flag-
What's it like? Park Slope is trendy, full of young professionals, mostly white, liberal, and not religious. The neighborhood is appealing because of its restaurants, family-friendly attitude, and the park. Forest Hills is a bit older, and is surrounded by some ugly, boring parts of Queens. It's also much more suburban (an entire strip of chain restaurants, stores, and large highways).
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:45 PM Flag
BTW, quick question. When you say Asian, do you mean South Asian or East Asian? Because in London Asian usually means South Asian but not sure in NYC
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:44 PM Flag
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If Queens = South London, Brooklyn = North London, Bronx = East London and Manhattan = Central/West London (out to Notting Hill anyway), then Flatbush Brooklyn around the Courtelyou Road subway = Finchley.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:49 PM Flag
Something else to think about is whether you plan to keep a car. Parking in Manhattan is extremely expensive, and driving in Manhattan is a nightmare. Some of the nicer parts of Brooklyn that are being mentioned here might as well be Manhattan when it comes to parking, but the traffic is not as bad. It's fairly common for people in Queens to own a car. Many of the homes in Queens will include a parking space, which is a true luxury in Manhattan and those parts of Brooklyn. Ideally, it's nice to commute during the week by Subway and have the car for weekend activities, and shopping.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 02:53 PM Flag
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[+] This is one of those days that being a SAHM sucks! I'm here with my 3 dc - 4, 2 & 7 m... 18 replies
- I thought you meant you and your kids all had stomach viruses (and you can't send kids to school or daycare if kids have stomach viruses). Just think, it could be even worse!...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
This is one of those days that being a SAHM sucks! I'm here with my 3 dc - 4, 2 & 7 months - and a nasty stomach bug. All I want to do is sleep when not in the bathroom which isn't an option. I'm counting the minutes 'til bedtime and that's a long way away.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 12:00 PM Flag ]
[+] Preschool WWYD (also, help me name my emotion): I worked hard to have options for my ... 9 replies
- If you are definitely moving out of NYC, definitely go with the wonderful daycare. Top quality daycare is the same thing as excellent preschool, just longer with a rest time in the middle of the day....
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Preschool WWYD (also, help me name my emotion): I worked hard to have options for my 2.5 yo DD for next September. She has the option of 2 preschools (highly competitive) plus a more low-key preschool, and also a wonderful daycare program that for which we have been on the waitlist for 2 years. I want what's best for her, but turns out I probably can't afford the "TT" preschools and keep a nanny plus we might move in the middle of the year in which case it would be money down the drain. We are definitely moving out of NYC before K (or would go public), so maybe the TT preschools aren't worth it? But why do I feel bad I can't pay for the best?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 10:17 AM Flag ]OP here: All helpful thoughts. I am just "caught up" in the race (perhaps augmented by too mich time on UB), and since I have the options at certain schools for a 3s program (which options many others do not have), I feel compelled to take advantage of them. But you all make valid points that make me feel better; that there are better uses for the $$ (like the 529, food...)
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 10:25 AM Flag-
[+] Any Forest Hills moms on? 38 replies
- Very little infant daycare in FH. There's preschool of anerica, but...
- Other than home daycares, the only one in the area for under...a very good experience. I feel that my daycare child was at a developmental advantage over my...
- ^^you can always switch to a daycare when dc is older and socialization is more...
- It depends on when they qualify for daycare and you may change your mind if you...
Talk : : December 12, 2011
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Hi! I was wondering if you had any information on what the child care situation is like. We have been looking at the group home day cares, and they all seem to be religious. What does the typical mom do for child care?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:31 AM FlagNannies, Church in the gardens and also Community house have programs. Where are you looking in FH?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:34 AM Flag-
community house has a nice board that people post on looking for shares for childcare. A few moms around the gardens also take on a child or 2.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:37 AM Flagalso there is a group home day care on Austin street past Union tkp called rainbow... something. I drive by them everyday and the kids are always smiling walking back from the park. I don't think it is religious like the russian's down on the rego park side of Austin st
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:41 AM FlagThanks. Google cannot find anything on this, but I will keep checking. Given that it seems like we will need to drive him every morning, how is the traffic? It was pretty bad yesterday, on a Sunday. I can't imagine what it is like during rush hour.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:45 AM Flagtraffic during the morning is hit or miss AUSTIN street is very busy the "Go TO" place on the weekends for local queens people. Once you learn your way around Austin st like cutting through the gardens and what not you will be fine. I usually get from the gardens to the local Montessori in under 7 min in the early AM.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:53 AM Flag
DS will be 4 months old when he starts. We would prefer the south side of Queens Boulevard, but are open to something close enough to the 71st / Continental station. We really do not want a nanny.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:38 AM Flagrainbow day care is on the south side but a very long walk and 3 stops via subway from 71 did you look at the ymca?
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:43 AM FlagI am a nanny fwiw. I don't know if I would hire a nanny in the fh area they are very tight knit and most treat the babies as a reason to go sit at BN with other Nans. Drives me crazy
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:44 AM FlagChurch in the gardens has a nice non religious program that runs from the building.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:46 AM FlagOP: Thank you for that feedback. Both DH and I are strong believers in group day cares for many reasons, but it seems like there are limited options if we move to Forest Hills.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:55 AM Flag
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Other than home daycares, the only one in the area for under age 2 is Preschool of America on Queens Blvd.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:17 AM FlagWe tried to find a daycare for our twins (now 5 mo) but found only one daycare that takes infants--Preschool of America. Got on the wait list when I was 3 mos pregnant, and they said they *may* have spots for them when they turn 1 yo. There are many daycares in the area, but for the most part they don't take kids under 2 yo. We ended up having to get a nanny, even though our HHI is only about 100k/year. If you have a car, however, you may have more options.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:23 AM FlagOP: Thanks everyone for your input. Please keep it coming! I just called Preschool of America, and will go on a tour. The bad is that they have a 4:1 ratio of infants to adults, which is the minimum guideline in NYS for day care facilities. The minimum guideline for a home-based day care is 2:1. I think 4:1 is high for an infant. :(
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:45 AM FlagYou're not going to find 2:1 care anywhere. Home-based care would take more older kids so you've got one person trying to handle an infant and a bunch of toddlers and preschoolers before you'll find a pure 2:1 ration (if that's even a requirement). 2:1 isn't financially viable for a center. If yo'ure looking for that, you should definitely look into a nanny share.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:51 AM FlagWe seriously considered PSA for our 2nd, and only had reservations due to the limited outdoor time. Our first was in a FT daycare center from 4 mos. in Manhattan, and we had a very good experience. I feel that my daycare child was at a developmental advantage over my nanny child (which is what we wound up doing with #2) due to the socialization and the fact that he was surrounded by people who actually studied early childhood development and education.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 06:51 AM FlagA friend has her DC in Lucky Stars acros the Blvd and loves it.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:02 AM Flag-
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I suppose it is an option, but we both hate the idea so much.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:14 AM FlagI'm the poster above with the twins. We really wanted daycare for our babies as well (largely b/c of the cost), but we ended up getting a nanny and now I am so glad we did. You just have to find someone good. 1) it makes your life easier, b/c the nanny comes to you in the morning 2) the nanny is focused on your db and doesn't have other kids to worry about. You seem concerned about the 4:1 ratio of day care centers, so a nanny or nanny share seems like it would make sense for you. Especially when db is an infant, I think the individualized attention of a (good)nanny is a huge plus.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:24 AM Flag^^you can always switch to a daycare when dc is older and socialization is more important.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:25 AM FlagIf we wanted to hire a nanny until our DB gets a day care spot, would we tell the nanny this upfront? It seems terrible to hire someone knowing that it will be a temporary position, but I can't see who would take the position knowing our intentions.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:28 AM FlagIt could be a while (until db turns 1 or 2, which is when more daycare spots open up). And who knows, you may end up loving your nanny and decide you want to keep her. So I wouldn't say anything up front, but if you do end up letting her go after a few months, give her a generous severance and do what you can to help her find a new position.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 07:58 AM FlagIt depends on when they qualify for daycare and you may change your mind if you find a good nanny. I personally wouldn't
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 09:07 AM FlagHI I am the nanny from this morning found out the real name of the "rainbow" childcare it is a jewish childcare accepting ages 2 and above. If you chose to go with a Nanny for the time being I would just say it is a temporary gig until you figure out what you would like to have for your child in the long run. I know of one very decent nanny who has worked in the gardens for years and comes with amazing references. If you would like her info I will see if she is still looking. She is Polish and speaks English.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 05:37 PM Flag
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[+] Ok.. I truly cannot stand my husband. I have young children 3-7 so it really sucks. B... 25 replies
- list. He and his next wife would work out all the time, watch tv and go out with their friends and put kids in any daycare they coudl find. So I feel trapped....
- from me. He owuld like those gym rats. Fine with me, but I don't want my kids around that. .. being stuck in daycare all day and night....
Talk : : December 11, 2011
Ok.. I truly cannot stand my husband. I have young children 3-7 so it really sucks. But he is SOOO different from me and I can't stand him. Not that I wanted someone like me, but when we totally see differently on everything, it is the pits. So tonight I am just in my office on urbanbaby seeing how lame he is as a dad... so the kids sit in front of the TV watching football eating dinner. He eats at his computer in the dining room working on his laptop. Then he lets them watch 2 hours of tv.. that is on top of the 2 hours he has already had them watch today so he could sit on his fat ass and watch football and text on his phone. He has said maybe one word to them all night. I just simply hate him. I am tired of fighting, but I think the kids and family should eat together whatever the cook makes.. he is a stupid health nut so he always eats some weird crap he makes. He can never eat the normal food that I make (like tacos, spaghetti). Then he has the TV as the perpectual babysitter and can't turn it off even at dinner time. I just let it go tonight I'm so exhausted getting ready for the holidays... but just venting as I hate him.
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.11.11, 05:47 PM Flag ]-
I do dinner and the kids every night and enjoy it mostly... but tonight, we aren't talking and I just watned to see what wouoldd happen if I didn't try so hard every night to have a normal family. This is probably the only night i can remember ever sitting in here at their bedtime or dinnner time.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:51 PM FlagSo instead of saying "would you do bedtime/ dinnertime tonight- I need a rest, thanks" you just walked off? He probably hasn't yet realized that you want him to do it. He is probably treading water until you come back to do what you usually do. Just ask him already.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:53 PM Flag
you need to stop this. if he does not do the right thing for your children, you have to step in. 4 hours is a lot. deal with him separately. take care of the kids.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:51 PM FlagI know... I am going back in there. I am trying really hard to not nag him all the time as we had big blow out this weekend (not in front of kids). So I thought I would just watch what night with him would be like if I didn't carry the ball completely. It actually breaks my heart. He has said now total of 4 words to the kids. He's so lame!
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:52 PM FlagAnd now after I put them to bed, he'll sit on the couch and text and facebook for like 2 hours.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:53 PM FlagJust posted below but this might make you laugh. My ex would be on the computer for HOURS. Facebook, fantasy football etc. Did nothing to help with dc's. Well it turns out the our neighbors could see him and thought that he was always working! I would see them and they would be like boy is John working hard these days...
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:57 PM Flag
Ugh that sucks. My ex was the same way. Took lazy parenting to a new level.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:54 PM Flag
Do you sah did you need a break and want him to watch the dc's?
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:53 PM Flagthe problem is, if I try to let him, he disappoints me so. I feel like I am a control freak and want to let things go a bit, but my god.. my standards aren't that high. Talking to your kids.. eating dinner as family with no tv. And no more than hour or so of tv a day. Come on.. those are pretty basic.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:54 PM FlagDid you ask him to do this? Or just walk off to play on your computer?
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:56 PM FlagShe is not the boss of the house. Why should she have to ask him to feed or talk to his dc's??
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 05:58 PM Flag-
I'm not boss of the house. But I do about 90% of everything. He is just lame. He was bachelor for long time and still acts like it. Wants to be at work at 7am.. comes home and eats his weird health food and then off to the gym to workout. Then he always wants us to go out on the weekend. I'm so done with him. Will stick it out so I don't have to worry about a new "step mom". When your know your husband has turned out to be a lazy narcissist, you know he'll marry the same next time. He learned from me. He owuld like those gym rats. Fine with me, but I don't want my kids around that. .. being stuck in daycare all day and night.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:37 PM Flag
I didnt mean to imply that- but she implied that she generally does the dinner/ bed routine, and generally all of the evening childcare, and then tonight she just decided to hole up in her office without a word. Her husband probably doesn't know what's up and is waiting for her to come back, given her track record of "not being able to let go", being a "control freak", as she says. She could have just asked him to take care of it tonight and not been passive aggressive about her needs.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:01 PM Flag
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I think you are right to say to him that you don't want him on the laptop while you eat dinner together. That's reasonable. The thing about the TV is, they're watching football together, right? And he wants to watch the games whether the kids are around or not, so you're kind of implying that he shouldn't be watching football at all because it's too much TV for the kids. Honestly, I don't think that that's entirely fair. I think if you have something planned or an idea like playing a board game together, he should be flexible about not needing to see every single game, but to say to him that you want him to spend time with the dc's, just not using that time to watch sports on TV, is backseat driving.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:00 PM FlagLet me add also that I think you should address the issue of his not interacting with them (i.e., are they trying to get his attention? If so, point that out to him), but I think you need to be careful about trying to over-manage this issue. I guarantee you that A LOT of families are watching football together today.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:03 PM Flag
my dh is like this most of the time, because most of the time he believes i am in charge of the kids simply by my presence in the house - ergo, he doesn't have to do anything when i'm around. on specific days when he's in charge of them, he will take charge, but he has to be told this in advance. from what i see of my own 4yo son, these guys with the Y chromosome really try to see how far they can push you to do everything for them, it's like built into their genes.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:21 PM FlagOk.. back and I read the posts.. I understand football if a guy thing and watching it with the kids would be allright if that's all they watched. But he would have them watch anything at all. It's just we are different on everything. He is a great bachelor but horrible husband and dad. I guesss I have had my fill and am realizing no matter how I slice it, I don't like him. I don't know how I ended up with someone so different. I feel like divorcing would stink becuase then he would marry someone just like him and the kids woudl be relegated to total end of the list. He and his next wife would work out all the time, watch tv and go out with their friends and put kids in any daycare they coudl find. So I feel trapped.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 06:32 PM Flag
[+] What do I have to do to get my DCs friends to call me Mrs. Jones? I don't like them c... 50 replies
- How old are dc and their friends? When dd was in daycare/preschool, teachers and all other grownups went by first name. Now that dd is in elem school, it's the traditional Ms/...! And I do like the southern approach too--"Miss Mary", but that is one that is also favored by a lot of daycares, which may or may not be a good thing. Also...
Talk : : December 10, 2011
What do I have to do to get my DCs friends to call me Mrs. Jones? I don't like them calling me by my first name.
50 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.10.11, 09:25 AM Flag ]-
np That's a little awkward. I think it's better to say something to YOUR kid like "Mrs. Anderson is hosting your playdate today; isn't that nice?!" Done in front of the mom whose kid is calling you by first name.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:44 AM Flagmeh. i'm pretty direct, esp when helping another kid (or my own) understand manners.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:46 AM Flag-
nnp. Rude?? To ask a child to call you Mrs. Jones? When I was a kid we just knew to say Mrs. Jones as a default. Also, you could absolutely tell which parents wanted Mr and Mrs and which wanted first names. Kids today don't care, because their parents don't teach them. IMO, THAT is rude. And I'm only 27.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:26 AM Flagnnp I would much rather she correct my kid with her preference than make a show of her kid calling me Mrs, which is NOT *my* preference. Although it is a matter of preference, not manners, for this generation and even the last (there was one parent growing up who insisted on Mr).
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 12:43 PM Flag
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Don't think that will work - the other mom will just say, "please call me Jill!" And not likely take the hint that you want to be called Mrs. Jones. If you want to be called Mrs. Jones, you're going to have to say so. You can't control the way other people feel about that - they're probably not going to like it, though.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 11:02 AM Flag
Either this...or talk to parents. "I know it's a bit old fashioned, but I prefer to be Mrs. Jones to Sissy's friends." If you say it with a smile, it should work. If you are saying it directly to the kids, you can opt to leave out the smile...perhaps they will be too intimidated to even think of you as Mary. Another thought...if your dc are old enough (at 5 or 6), you may instruct them. They can introduce their little pals to you, "Sally, this is my mama, Mrs. Jones." I am Mrs. Smith even to my godchildren because all of my dc's friends & classmates know me as Mrs. Smith...even though they know other parents as Cheryl and Rick, etc. Also helps if you get other parents on board with the formal introductions. If you are the only Mrs. Jones in a sea of Carols and Jims, it will be a bit harder, but as I've said, still doable! And I do like the southern approach too--"Miss Mary", but that is one that is also favored by a lot of daycares, which may or may not be a good thing. Also...if other parents say, "call me Candy!" You must choose ahead of time whether to instruct dc to make Candy comfortable and acquiesce to her request or to more primly say, "Oh, no Miss Cane! We couldn't do that!"
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:23 PM Flag
Why does it bother you? It's 2011; society is less formal now.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:49 AM Flagnp "Society" needs to get its act together, imo. I'm all for progress, but for some reason people think anything goes--and that's not right
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:53 AM FlagThings change. Do you address your co-workers formally? Did you ask your boss permission to use their first name in the office. Do you address your elders using Sir or Ma'am? I have no problem with OP wanting be addressed as Mrs. Huxatable, but to say a kid addressing an adult by their first name means it's the end of the world as we know it is lunacy.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:41 AM Flag
you simply have to ask. when kids say "mrs. so and so" I say "call me --" (my first name) and it works perfectly.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 09:55 AM Flag-
You'll have to compromise as they have already gotten into the habit. Just say.... "Call me Miss Carolyn from now on." That will go down smoother than "Mrs. Brady." I don't have a problem with my d
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:33 AM FlagThis Miss/Mr + first name seems to be really common, at least in the South. Moved here and it seems like this is what I always am hearing. Even in the "classes" I take with my 18month old the instructors always introduce themselves as Miss Louise etc. Don't think I ever heard this before moving here
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 11:33 AM Flag
Good manners are not valued up north. The only place where children are routinely taught to address adults formally is in the South and in Texas.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 10:41 AM FlagI hear what you're saying, but honestly, I'd leave it if it's already been going on. What I'm more concerned about is getting my kids to call adults by Mr. or Mrs. It's the way I was raised and it makes me cringe when MIL introduces her friends to dcs by first name and then dc's adopt that. I never called parents' or grandparents' friends by first names BUT it's a delicate thing to insist in certain instances because it's also not worth offending people. I walk a tightrope on this issue, telling dc's to address by Mr. and Mrs. unless the person introduces as first name. Times, unfortunately, are changing. sigh.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 11:50 AM FlagI grew up in the 70s and 80s and always called my parents' friends by their first names. Times changed quite a while ago.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 01:30 PM Flagwell if your MIL introduces people in that manner then that is the way these people want to be addressed I assume. The best is to teach your children to call people by what they prefer - be it mr, mrs or first names. Some of us do not like the formality of mr or mrs and find it dated and uncomfortable. Others prefer mr and mrs. If kids are told just one name - be it either way - then they should be able to follow that rule. It gets more confusing to give them 2 names to remember for each person.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 01:32 PM Flag
Everything in our society is less formal than it used to be. This is no more detrimental a trend than any of the rest. If you want them to call you by your last name you need to ask them to call you by your last name. I've taught my kids to use last names unless instructed otherwise, but think it's stuffy and weird when people actually insist on being Mrs. X.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 02:36 PM FlagDO these children have telepathy? You need to tell them - everyone deserves to be addressed by the name they choose. They will not know if you don't tell them. Don't take it so personally, they are not trying to be overly familiar or insult you. They are just doing what they are used to doing. Also don't be surprised if they have to be reminded, they will probably forget.
[ Reply | More ]12.11.11, 09:52 AM Flag
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[+] Coming off maternity leave with my 1st DB soon. Right before I gave birth, there wer... 10 replies
- your childcare and backup if your nanny needs a personal day and/or your child is sick and can't go to daycare, etc. You will also be tired from the weekends because your DC will still need nonstop care/attention. I needed at least...your childcare and backup if your nanny needs a personal day and/or your child is sick and can't go to daycare, etc. You will also be tired from the weekends because your DC will still need nonstop care/attention. I needed at least...
Talk : : December 09, 2011
Coming off maternity leave with my 1st DB soon. Right before I gave birth, there were a ton of headhunters contacting me with some really interesting opportunities. How crazy am I to go back to work and then possibly leave to go to another company? I would only do it for the right opportunity, which would be great if I could make more$$ and get a better title. The only ting I am worried about is so much change at once
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 09:21 PM Flag ]IMO, adjusting to your old job now that you're a mom and your priorities changes will be pretty hard without switching jobs and going to a new place where you may feel like you need to "prove" yourself (I always feel that way in a new place). Having said that, my experience with pregnancy was that when I came back from maternity leave the recruiters were not so eager to send me to interviews until a few months later. AND - it took me a few months to get back to the level I was at before the baby. I just forgot things, it was hard to balance being a mom and doing my job at first, I constantly worried about the baby/nursing/other baby-related stuff that distracted me from work. Soooo... in that sense it's not the best time to change jobs as I KNOW I was not putting my best foot forward at that time.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 09:39 PM FlagReally? I disagree, but can only speak for myself. I was miserable at my former company when I returned from maternity leave (not miserable about working) and started responding to headhunters and found a much better job/company for me. I didn't have any trouble balancing being a mom and working -- but then again, I found staying home during maternity leave to be lonely and somewhat difficult so I welcomed returning back to work, and finding a better job where I was appreciated and where I could learn was the icing on the cake.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 07:15 AM Flag
I completely agree with the above reply. I am a very hard worker, have a very good job and it was a huge adjustment. You are tired from the baby not sleeping at night even if you have a baby nurse, you need to get into a routine with your childcare and backup if your nanny needs a personal day and/or your child is sick and can't go to daycare, etc. You will also be tired from the weekends because your DC will still need nonstop care/attention. I needed at least 6 months (when my DC started somewhat sleeping through the night) and more like 9 months until I felt somewhat normal in my routine. I would try and wait. If you really want a new job, I would pay up and get as much childcare as you can - even on weekends some - to ensure a smooth transition. I didn't forget things. I was just exhausted all the time. Plus when you interview, I suspect your potential job prospects might think the same and dismiss you and you might only have one chance to meet with them.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 02:56 AM FlagITA. I am a very hard worker, have a very good job and it was a huge adjustment. You are tired from the baby not sleeping at night even if you have a baby nurse, you need to get into a routine with your childcare and backup if your nanny needs a personal day and/or your child is sick and can't go to daycare, etc. You will also be tired from the weekends because your DC will still need nonstop care/attention. I needed at least 6 months (when my DC started somewhat sleeping through the night) and more like 9 months until I felt somewhat normal in my routine. I would try and wait. If you really want a new job, I would pay up and get as much childcare as you can - even on weekends some - to ensure a smooth transition. I didn't forget things. I was just exhausted all the time. Plus when you interview, I suspect your potential job prospects might think the same and dismiss you and you might only have one chance to meet with them.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 02:57 AM FlagThat's exactly what I did. Returned to work after 3-month maternity leave, was very unhappy at that company and decided to respond to HR people and headhunters contacting me on LinkedIn. 4 months after I returned, I got a great offer and resigned. Transitions were all easy for me. Best of luck to you and congrats on your new DB!
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 07:13 AM FlagCan you extend your leave at your current company even if unpaid? Then you could continue to explore the headhunter opportunities? I did this, and went to a new position, actually a promotion, when my dc was 8 months. Transition was hard with pumping, new responsibilities and a new industry, but I've never been happe
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 07:15 AM Flag
[+] I have two kids, 4 and 2.5, that attend one daycare/preschool. My 4 year old's class ... 1 reply
Talk : : December 09, 2011
I have two kids, 4 and 2.5, that attend one daycare/preschool. My 4 year old's class is great. My kid is learning a lot, thriving and happy. The 2 year old class is a mess. The staff is disorganized and overwhelmed. It's hard to believe they're one organization. I want to take my 2 year old out of the school, and keep my 4 year old with the great teacher. What do you think?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 09:12 PM Flag ]Well, at some point your 2 y.o. will finish this class and move onto the 3 and then 4 y.o. level class with the great teacher, but if you pull him out he probably can't get back in. Also it could be pretty challenging to manage two little kids in two different schools. I'd probably put up with it if it was just a matter of the class being sort of chaotic.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 05:56 AM Flag
[+] At what age did your dc start preschool? How did you decide (whether it was 2, 3 yrs... 8 replies
- I started dc at a month after 2 - I was using it more as daycare than educational....
Talk : : December 09, 2011
[+] if you have had a DS in the last year or 2, have you circumcised? 55 replies
- No. Judging from what I see at his older sister's daycare, he won't have a problem, since none of the boys in his class are,...
- how do you see the kids naked at the daycare?...
- OR is not the daycare worker changing the diaper, she's just passing by and has looked at every male...
Talk : : December 09, 2011
if you have had a DS in the last year or 2, have you circumcised?
55 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 12:12 PM Flag ]OP: will DS have a tough time later on if we don't circumcise?
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:19 PM Flag-
This is not true. the statistics are very much race and ethnicity dependent, both in the US (for example, CA has very low rates, both bc of immigration from Asia where it's less prevalent and a less traditional environment socially and politically). Even ignoring these issues, a 55-65% rate is not *rare* http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgical/circumcision.html.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:24 PM Flag
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Yes - ds had prenatal hydronephronsis (enlarged kidney) which increases risk of UTIs so it was much healthier for him to do so. I am Jewish and we probably would have circ'd anyway but that sealed the deal.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:24 PM Flagand btw it was totally fine. dr used numbing cream, it took a second, dc barely noticed. the multiple blood draws for jaundice on the other hand, he screamed his baby head off and it was horrible.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:26 PM FlagSo did my son, lots of boys are born w this, still, no need for this procedure, sorry to say. A Jewish doctor will tell you otherwise. My son is 4 and his hydronephrosis is gone, never had a uti or any other type of problem. Let's chop our breasts off to prevent cancer...
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 04:26 PM Flag
No. Judging from what I see at his older sister's daycare, he won't have a problem, since none of the boys in his class are, except one whose mom is Israeli.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:24 PM Flag-
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np:oh c'mon. it isn't that strange to see naked children in day care. Why does everybody have to make it sounds dirty?
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:34 PM Flagshe is saying she sees ALL of them? how can she know about all of them? i would see kids getting changed and just not register this fact
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:36 PM FlagThere's six boys in the class- the kids have all been together since about age 5 mos. I know them all and know their families really well. The point is- most are European and Asian, so it's not that unsual that they didn't circ. Personally, I have no dog in this fight. I didn't circumcise my son because my DH didn't want to. Had I married a guy who wanted to, I would have circumcised, since my parents opted for my brother and I didn't see it as an uncommon practice.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 12:40 PM Flag
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My high school bf wasn't, it occurred to recently that may have been the reason I got BV so many times. Well that and the fact that he was a dirty 16-year-old stoner who didn't shower enough. Maybe I'm just justifying the ambivalence I feel because my husband is insisting on it.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 04:36 PM FlagPp. Also, husband is european and prefers we do not circumsize. If taught how to properly use a bidet and/or keep clean his penjs, a child should not have any problems. However, i must admit, i find a circumsized penis so much more attractive, but thats what i grew up seeing (no, not when i was a little child!)
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:31 PM FlagNo. DS is 2.5. I thought circ was "normal" until I read up, not sure what prompted me. DH did some reading, didn't want to do it either. Cousin and her dh were planning to do it, but couldn't go through with it once their guy was born. It isn't a big deal, just be prepared that many docs are biased toward circ.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:32 PM Flag
[+] What would you offer a nanny to take care of 2 dcs, 5 and 2, the older one in K until... 21 replies
- 2 yo is in the preschool he'll be going to 5 days next year. I don't want to yank him out midyear for daycare. Plus, very few daycares with immediate availability....
Talk : : December 09, 2011
What would you offer a nanny to take care of 2 dcs, 5 and 2, the older one in K until 3pm, younger in school 2 mornings/wk? Hours 8 to 5.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.09.11, 10:52 AM Flag ]If this helps, I'm a nanny watching 3 dcs. I work 11am-7pm M-F and I make $23/hr.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 11:00 AM FlagCan't she start later on the mornings younger DVD has school. Fewer hours =less $$
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 11:21 AM Flag
[+] Wackiest UB poster you've encountered? 36 replies
- The mom that wants an email from dc daycare teacher if she was going to be absent that day....
Talk : : December 09, 2011
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The one from the other night who thinks she can get divorced and it won't bother her kids at all.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:11 AM FlagI thought that woman was wacky, but honestly I don't think I would have been very negatively affected if my parents had separated while I was growing up.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:13 AM Flagthis is what I was trying to say! but people were turning me into some monster!
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:21 AM FlagWhile some people can divorce amicably, she was saying two crazy things q) that her 5 yr old was too young to notice and 2) that she could guarantee that her dh would be willing to put the kids first - you never know who will be so upset that they'll do something rash.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:58 AM Flag
i think the "wealth concentration at the top is good and desirable and possibly constitutionally mandated" lady is my recent winner, but its hard to beat sandwich dad
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:13 AM Flag-
np: I think it's just because anytime anyone disagrees with her she calls them a "silly twit."
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:31 AM Flagi just read it - actually i thought it was an interesting conversation - most of the rebuttals had thoughtful analysis...you might disagree, but it was thoughtful and well written not the usual short meaningless crap. Hard to call it wacky - you might disagree - but there is nothing wacky in there.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:50 AM Flag
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The mom that wants an email from dc daycare teacher if she was going to be absent that day.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:22 AM Flag-
What about the mom who was upset that the nanny was kissing her DB? And called the nanny a stranger? Wackadoodle.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 08:30 AM FlagI'm on another board frequently, and this "wacky" stalker outed me on UB and posted several hundred threads about me. Urban Baby was great about deleting the posts,but it was actually pretty scary.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 09:18 AM Flag
[+] Our DS has been in a day care for about a year. Until September he was in the infant... 2 replies
- loved our daycare for two years and just hate this room we're in right now. It's only 2 days a week but blech....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Our DS has been in a day care for about a year. Until September he was in the infant room and we loved it. Then in September they moved him to the older classroom, and long story short we have not really liked the care there and we're removing him from the day care. Question: do you think we need to give holiday gifts (cash or otherwise) to the day care teachers in his current room? It's not like they've been that awful; he's safe and fed at the end of the day. But it just hasn't been a good experience.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 06:21 PM Flag ]
[+] Need advice. Going to switch jobs for company specific reasons. I will have 3+ months... 13 replies
- Well, if you do take the big job, won't DH have to become the primary carer, I mean aside from nanny/daycare? Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for misery. And men do learn to be domestic, when they're allowed/required to. Them having to do things on their own, unsupervised, is great. I had a colleague who ended up being SAHD while DW had a big job...
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Need advice. Going to switch jobs for company specific reasons. I will have 3+ months off before I start my next job to spend with our current 1 year old DC. We probably will just have 1 child. My job is demanding and I make very good money and I like what I do. The next job will either be even more demanding but is probably going to be very lucrative within 2-3 years or I can take a step back and have a more normal schedule/life and spend a lot more time with my DC but if I do that there is no turning back and returning to the fast track. DH makes decent money but I make much more. We can live ok in our mind (comfortably in some people's minds) if I take the less demanding job; if I take the more demanding job, after a couple of years I don't want to say it will be life altering but we will probably have plenty of money and can even retire earlier. Will I be missing the most important years of my DCs life? Advice?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 01:37 PM Flag ]IMO the time while they're so young is for you. It's fun for you, they're cute and they love you more than anything. They'll get potty trained and learn the alphabet with you or with a nanny or daycare. When they're tweens and teens you wp
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:39 PM Flag^^ you won't have as much time with them and much of it will be more stressful but you don't want to outsource who will teach them things during this time -- things like a good work ethic, dating issues, self-esteme, internet porn and sexting topics. Those are important to be handled by a parent. Again, just my opinion.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:41 PM Flag
OP - You are right. I think I'm going to cry. I have worked so hard to get to where I am but at the same time I want to be a good mom and be there for my DC especially in this crazy city. I wouldn't mind stepping back for a few years but it doesn't really work that way :(
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:45 PM FlagI worked a lot and made very good money when my DC were young and stepped back when they were older, around MS/HS. This worked well for our family. I'm much better with older children than babies and we were able to get our family in a very secure fiancial position. DH stepped up big time and and we worked toegther as parents. As I get older, I find more things I enjoy than work and now I have a much easier job. My advice is whatever you choose, embrace it and don't drive yourslf crazy with the what ifs. Get as much help as you can so you can devote your non-working hours to your family. No one has a crystal ball.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:48 PM FlagI would say go for it. When they're young they don't remember much and don't get to interact with you as much. DS is 3.3 right now and it was only recently that I started having "fun" with him. But if you're one of those moms that love little ones, then my answer my be different. I'm not one of them so I can only speak for myself. I personally think it's more important that you're there for them when they start school.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:49 PM FlagMy kids are 8 and 6 and I've been working and saving so I can ease up and spend more time w/ them starting in middle school, which is when I think they'll be most vulnerable and need me most. If you
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:52 PM Flagif you take the demanding job with very high income potential, could DH take off for a couple of years? If you can afford it--and a parent can SAH without losing their mind-it's great to have a parent at home to age 3.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:58 PM FlagOP here - my DH wouldn't and couldn't really take any time off. He has a real job too and also is not super domestic (great DH and good father but isn't a natural). Well thanks everyone for the advice. Tough decision.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:03 PM FlagWell, if you do take the big job, won't DH have to become the primary carer, I mean aside from nanny/daycare? Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for misery. And men do learn to be domestic, when they're allowed/required to. Them having to do things on their own, unsupervised, is great. I had a colleague who ended up being SAHD while DW had a big job overseas--it wasn't the plan, he was a very old school guy, macho, long story. Anyway, it was tough on him for a while but he DC are so close.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:53 PM Flag
I decided to take my career down a notch. I did not stop working, but I'm practically idling right now. 80% of the time, I am ok with this. I figure that once I'm ready to go back on a faster track, I can do so. But I am certain I will never get back on the "fast track" because I'll be too old by the time I'm ready to commit more to my job. 20% of the time, I get frustrated. But I really don't believe we can have it all. you have to make choices. You need to choose what makes YOU happy. Because an unhappy, unfulfilled mom is no good, either. I was raised by a single working mom who didn't have the luxury of taking it down a notch. And I never felt less loved or less cared about.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 02:33 PM Flag-
[+] I keep reconsidering -- keep DS in daycare next year or do a 3-morning 2s program and... 7 replies
- your options (good nanny is better than bad daycare, good daycare better than bad nanny, etc.)...
- 't want him to be the oldest kid in daycare and/or having to do the application process all...
- ITA. My kid's daycare has a lot of academic components....
- stay in daycare or find a 3's program that's a long day. my dc loved loved loved daycare, and moved to a preschool with after school at...
Talk : : December 08, 2011
I keep reconsidering -- keep DS in daycare next year or do a 3-morning 2s program and get a nanny. Which is better for socializing? Is the 2s program going to teach him more, or at that age is there no difference?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 01:25 PM Flag ]i think it is more about your child's personality, and what he enjoys doing. my kids were super outgoing, and they loved being around other children by the time they got to 2. so that's when i put them in daycare. up until then, they had nannies, but they would just look at other kids longingly and live for playdates... had a blast at daycare. they have friends who like to be with adults more, though. for them, i would think more nanny time is good. also i think it depends on your options (good nanny is better than bad daycare, good daycare better than bad nanny, etc.)
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:32 PM Flaghonestly, as long as daycare has a preschool curriculum once they hit 3yo, and you have a kid who's happy there, don't rock the boat. my younger son would be so happy if preschool was all day every day - he just loves it.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:59 PM Flag
[+] I am in need of some guidance. I have a 20 month old and my dh works insane hours. He... 32 replies
- Find a daycare in your area that takes 2yos part time. With other adults aroond and a "curriculum" there is little room for molestation, kidnapping and...
- daycare will also have multiple kids and caregivers. i think if you can find p/t daycare you should try it....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
I am in need of some guidance. I have a 20 month old and my dh works insane hours. He is either traveling or entertaining during the week. He is a good father, but doesn't really allow me to get a break without making a fuss. He says he wants to hang out as a family because we rarely see each other, but I'm about to go crazy after staying home 12-13 hours with a baby day after day. I found a babysitter who has come to sit twice, but I feel so weird leaving my db with a stranger. I have no family around. The babysitter has great references and seems like a nice woman, but with everything going on now with molestation, kidnapping and abuse, I am hesitant. Thoughts?
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 09:42 AM Flag ]Find a daycare in your area that takes 2yos part time. With other adults aroond and a "curriculum" there is little room for molestation, kidnapping and abuse. Plus at 2yo you LO is ready to start interacting with other kids on a more regular basis.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:45 AM FlagNot for nothing, but this seems like you're creating your own problems. Stop isolating yourself. You need to join some mommy groups, classes to meet other women and form a support network. This sounds like you have trust issues and may be feeling insecure about parenting and yourself.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:47 AM FlagAlot of us leave our DBs with a nanny/sitter. If you've checked references, maybe even done a background check, she'll be fine. I agree if you can't get over the "stranger" aspect though, look into part time daycare. You'll have to separate from DB eventually anyway once they start preschool.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:48 AM Flag-
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Keep having her come but don't feel obligated to leave the house. Take a long relaxing shower, run a quick errand, have her play w DB while you are puttering around the house on computer/cooking. Repeat enough times and you will be comfortable leaving for longer and longer stretches. I understand the fear but don't let it box you in and DON'T let you or DH feel like you need to leave to make sitter worthwhile
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:23 AM FlagOP: any abuse in your past? I am the same with DC as you are, and it's because I don't trust anyone. Most people can trust their parents with DB and from there a friend, and then a stranger with good references... it's a continuum. Anyway, I get breaks from a babysitter that comes while I'm home. I also think there's a world of difference between a four year old at school (potty trained, communicative) and a 20 month old.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:20 AM FlagDon't be so hard on OP. This is her first baby and it is hard to trust your kids with a stranger. The good news is she won't be a stranger for long. Make an effort to get to know her, do stuff around the house the first few times, and you'll get more comfortable with her. Another option, find a high school girl from the neighborhood. If you already know her parents, it is highly unlikely that she's going to harm your child.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:34 PM Flag
[+] Lawyers: Let's say you're a recent grad from a 4th tier law school, you passed the ba... 62 replies
- that can be career ender, but given the glut of law students right now, the bad job market and graduating from a 4th tier school, I think future employers understand the need to make ends meet. Not sure doc review would cover the cost of daycare, so you might be better off becoming a SAHM....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Lawyers: Let's say you're a recent grad from a 4th tier law school, you passed the bar but haven't found a paying legal job, and now you're having a baby with a former classmate who is in the same position as you. WWYD?
62 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 09:17 AM Flag ]Well, if he's in the same position, I would try as hard as I can to keep looking for a job, because someone is going to need to pay the bills, even if it means a very short maternity leave. But I would hope that he finds something soon, so it is not so stressful on you. I would also look heavily into working as a contract attorney for one of the legal temp agencies, because that is much more flexible. I would also consider (for both of you) looking outside of legal-only positions for now, and basically just try to find employment, with the hope that you could transition to something related down the road. You probably don't want to hear this, but at my large law firm, I work with a paralegal who has a JD from a 3rd or 4th tier school. She makes a lot of money and didn't want the stress of full time legal work (and probably makes more than she would as a lawyer at very small firms)...
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:20 AM FlagDo you think the paralegal at your firm is a paralegal because she went to a 3rd or 4th tier law school? Is that just a factor of the economy? I graduated almost 20 years ago and in every environment I have worked, including biglaw partner now, there have been plenty of high acheivers from lower tiered schools. I'm raising it because there is some hiring stigma for JD/paralegals when they are looking for employment as lawyers. Obviously though, OP's friend is in a desperate situation.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:55 AM FlagI think "plenty" is an exaggeration. I was on the Hiring Committee at a Big Law firm and as the economy contracted, the number of schools we deemed were acceptable to hire from shrank. Did we hire a couple valedictorians from lower ranked law schools? Sure, but if they werent #1 or #2 in the class then they had no shot at all.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:40 AM Flag
if it was me, I would abort - unless I had some kind of big ass trust fund to pull money from
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:20 AM Flag-
OP: It's not me but someone who came to me for advice and I'm clueless. I don't know about expenses but don't believe there is any other source of income except some possible parental assistance. Student loan debt for the mom-to-be is about $300K, which is amazing to me.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:25 AM FlagI'm the OR from below. God, $300K? I wish your friend had talked to me before going. I specialize in talking people out of law school (I went to a top ten school, and I even think that wasn't a smart idea in hindsight).
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:27 AM FlagIs $300K crazy or typical these days? I graduated in '05 with $60K from a top ten public (in state tuition) so it seems nuts to me.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:29 AM FlagYou'll have at least $100K of debt if you are completely using financial aid for tuition. Not sure how she spent the other $150-$200K.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:33 AM FlagThat is crazy. I've never heard of more than $150K at most.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:51 AM FlagI graduated from a top 25 law school in 1997, and my total undergraduate plus law school educational debt was just over $200,000.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:57 AM Flag-
When I went, school was cheaper. Private law school was just over $35k/year for 3 years. Add in interest while in law school and my bar study loan, and I was at around $120K the September after graduation. The rest was from undergraduate, which was cheap as I went to a state school.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:32 AM Flag
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This is not a good scenario, obviously. Are you living together? I'll spare you the lecture of how bad of an idea it was to go to a 4th tier law school (I hope you don't have big loans)...but, at the very least, he could do document review and make decent money that way (at least, better than nothing). I know that can be career ender, but given the glut of law students right now, the bad job market and graduating from a 4th tier school, I think future employers understand the need to make ends meet. Not sure doc review would cover the cost of daycare, so you might be better off becoming a SAHM.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:25 AM Flagabortion...no way I would bring a child into a mess like that
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:27 AM Flag-
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Depends on where you live. I think lots of people go right into contract doc review work. Probably much more demand for it these days though.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:34 AM Flag-
NP: there are lots of agencies in NYC that place doc reviewers but I don't know how competitive it is at the moment. Very hard to exit doc review for "real" associate position even in smaller firms these days.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:52 AM FlagNP: She'll never get a real associate position coming from a 4th tier unless she's law review/top of the class anyway. So that probably shouldn't be a concern for her and the father.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:04 AM Flagfirst of all, there are plenty of rewarding a lucrative lawyering jobs that don't involve a huge mega-firm (which seems to be the subtext of "real associate". 300K is the largest debt I have ever heard anyone mention. I wish her luck. Have she and her partner contacted their anyone at their school--a sympathetic professor or administrator might be able to offer some useful advice or even some introductions.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 12:25 PM Flag
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move in with parents in a small town, have parents watch infant, both go to work -- paralegal or anything they can get, hope an aging solo practitioner in small town takes mercy on them and employs one or both of them, they definitely need to live in a place with a low cost of living generally.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:32 AM FlagOP: Thanks, everyone. One more question - does it make sense to get a non-legal job that pays the bills over a legal job that doesn't? Obviously, that makes sense in the short term. But it seems to make sense to me in the long term, even if she never practices law. She has to feed the kid for 18 years and she has insane debt. This is the advice I was going to give her.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:40 AM Flagif she is going to have this kid, she needs an income -- and so does the dad - NOW. Not to mention health coverage.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:46 AM FlagThis. Any job that would give her health insurance would be a huge advantage (and doc review would not). Not going right into the legal field might foreclose legal practice for her, but that might have happened anyway with kids. What a mess.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:48 AM FlagActually, most agencies offer medical plans. They all seem to offer the same one, too - it's the basic Oxford plan. Liberty, I think it is called.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:08 AM Flag-
Yeah, but the bad news is document review is boring, crappy work that can be done by a non-lawyer (I know, I did it in law school), and working in doc review means you have little to no chance for advancement or to practice law. Basically, you blew $300,000 and 3 years for nothing.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:20 AM Flag
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Not to cast stones, but why do people make such poor decisions?
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:57 AM FlagNP: This. Taking out loans for a fourth tier law school is insanity. Getting pregnant when you are unmarried and $300K in debt and have no job or health insurance is insanity. Hate to say it, but if there was still time to abort, that is the most rational thing to do.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:02 AM FlagOP: I don't get it either. Sometimes I feel like law school was a mistake for me and I don't have any of these problems.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:17 AM Flag-
np: I think people make these decisions because they believe that law is the ticket to a good career. (Not always a good money maker, but certainly one could find a job until recently with the state of the economy.) I am sure they felt it was a very practical forward-thinking decision. Fourth tier and loans doesn't sound smart in retrospect, but obviously she didn't have a choice in terms of where she got in and how to pay. The pregnancy does not help at all, but I feel bad for her because I think she probably was trying to better her prospects by following the law track.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:48 AM Flag
The best either of them will do in this economy is doc review work, which pays $32/hr. The better doc review jobs will also pay time and half over 40 hours, but not all do. They will never pay off their loans and pay child care and housing, food etc. Those loans are insane! Hopefully, they can live with one of the sets of grandparents and get free childcare from family as well. They need to both sign up with every doc review agency in the city and work their tails off until the baby comes and then he has to keep working as many hours as possible until she can go back to work and then they both need to take as many temp jobs as they can get until those loans are paid off. In this market, neither will get a good legal job coming from a 4th tier school. That is just the reality. If either is able to get a f/t job, it will be doing something personal injury or insurance work and it will pay $60k/yr.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:02 AM Flagwow, surprised and saddened by all the knee-jerk "have an abortion" replies. what if she and/or her husband find steady work and then have trouble conceiving later on? an abortion could be the biggest mistake of her life!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:24 AM FlagI know. I'm very pro-choice, but I don't think her (admittedly bad) situation warrants an abortion. Plenty of people without money have kids and are very good parents.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:28 AM Flagnp: This! I am so saddened by all the abortion comments as well! DH and I were still in law school when I became pregnant accidentally. We had zero family help. We moved into a tiny (450sq/ft) 1bd on the UWS and arranged our class schedule around DB since we couldn't afford a nanny. Fortunately, this occurred during our final year and we only needed 8 credits each during our final semester in order to graduate. It was stressful, but fun. We still reminisce about our tiny Thanksgiving at Fairway that year. We went to Fordham law, so not a top 10, but in the bottom half of the 1st tier law rankings; graduated during a tough year with no job prospects. DH was allowed to continue his work on an hourly paid basis and I did doc review. Took me two years before I was able to find FT employment and DH found a new firm after one year. We're now four years out and making a combined $650K, although we have a combined $390K in student loan debt. We still wouldn't change anything. We love our little family.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 01:10 PM Flag
lol, and expected more people recommending abortion - these are two highly educated people who could not figure out how to prevent pregnancy - I think they need a couple of years in the real world with jobs and having a relationship before they bring a child in to the mix to royally screw up their life too
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 11:51 AM Flag-
Most lawyers from 4th tier schools have one option: get a couple years meaningful experience at a small law firm (even by interning for free), then hang a shingle and hustle to get the biggest/best clients you can. If they don't start getting experience that they can sell to clients, they'll quickly become useless as lawyers.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 10:39 AM Flag
[+] POLL--Spinoff of below post. How many sick days dooes your nanny take a year? How do ... 8 replies
- She gets five but rarely takes it. DH's office has backup daycare which I'll use if neither can get off work....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
POLL--Spinoff of below post. How many sick days dooes your nanny take a year? How do you handle--i.e. do you have back-up care? Family? Take a sick day yourself?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 08:43 AM Flag ]-
same. Two days in six years. BUT.. . she will be going back to her home country for surgery next year for 4-6 weeks, probably taken in two visits. She has not used her vacation (3 weeks) in anticipation of this. We will pay her for up to six weeks. (She is here legally, but cannot afford the surgery here.) I will not replace her full time. I will have some extra help, both paid and not-paid.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 08:58 AM Flag
Our nanny started in April when DB was 3-months and so far nanny has not taken any sick days, but if she did, we have a special situation in that DH is the head of his family business so he can bring DB with him or to his parents' house near the office, where his mother could take care of DB.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:15 AM FlagMy nanny hasn't taken off any last-minute sick days, but each year she has 5-6 days that she takes off for doctors' appointments. I think she's going to a free clinic or something because for some reason she can never schedule these visits during time that we're already going to be away. It's kind of annoying.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 09:30 AM Flag
[+] Up all night with db's first cold. Now I feel awful, but used up all my sick time at... 1 reply
- Can dh stay home? Any local relative or good friend to stay with db? Is the cold severe enough that db can't go to sitter/daycare or wherever you want to keep them home from?...
Talk : : December 08, 2011
[+] NYC moms: Can you help me with these preschools/daycares? Any experiences or opinions...
Talk : : December 07, 2011
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