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[+] Has anyone ever done sleep training from scratch with an 18 month old? We have to fig... 8 replies
Talk : : December 12, 2011
Has anyone ever done sleep training from scratch with an 18 month old? We have to figure out a way to change dc's awful sleep habits, but I am overwhelmed how to do it....ideally in the most gentle way possible. dc used to sleep 8pm to 2-ish in the crib then co-sleep for the rest of our night. now won't go in crib at all, not even for a second, and I tried putting him to sleep in our bed and it literally took over an hour with lots of squirming, nursing, crying. help!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.12.11, 08:25 AM Flag ]Went through the same thing with my ds at the same age. I did the whole co sleep thing and breastfed until 2. Anyway, I was destroyed by all the night wakings. 18 months of it and he was cranky and I was aged 10 years. Turned to cry it out. Cold turkey. No checking in or anything. I talked to him about it for a week before implementing. Told him exactly how it was going to go down. Telling him he is safe, that I am here in my room and that I would come in the morning when it was wake up time. Anyway, it took us two weeks. Worst two weeks ever. I had so much anxiety. Coudnt stand to hear him scream. But, my mil helped me. She was with me the whole time and basically helped me understand his cries and what they meant. All the cries were either angry or just trying to get me back in his room. (he would holler, stop, listen for me and the holler again.) anyway, as hard as it was, he now sleeps from 8-8, loves his bed and plays in his bed alone, happily for a few minutes before he passes out. He is also far less cranky and has more focus and energy. Like night and day! I think what helps is that no matter where we are, we keep our before bed and nap routine consistent. I always talk with him about what we will do, etc... CIO worked for us, but it took a little longer than all the books and the pediatrician said. We just stayed the course because we all really needed sleep.
[ Reply | More ]12.12.11, 11:23 AM Flag
[+] I'm really hating this admission process (yes this gets discussed ad infinitum)...I m... 38 replies
- you are raising a teacup. most children don't cry. she probably has separation anxiety which you created by your co-sleeping and lack of discipline....
Talk : : December 08, 2011
I'm really hating this admission process (yes this gets discussed ad infinitum)...I mean kids who cry and desperately don't want to go into the room with the strange lady who tries to talk kid speak to entice them? My kid is laid back and easy in this regard but it just breaks my heart. Also, I feel like it's clear that since my dh and I are in the arts there are certain schools that 'like' us ahead of time and others where they have already rejected us before they ever meet my kid. I could be totally wrong about that it is just a feeling. Ok that was my rant.
38 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 05:14 PM Flag ]I think it is totally eff'd up that we teach our children not to talk to strangers and then expect them to go with some teacher they've never met into a sitch where they KNOW they are being evaluated. No wonder this freaks a lot of kids out. Have you seen some of these teachers?! I wouldn't have gone with them willingly!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:22 PM FlagEh. My kid LOVED the playdates. Asked for more when they were all finished.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:23 PM FlagOP: my kid is liking the playdates a lot too. It doesn't change the fact that it is sad to see the kids who don't and I feel this uncomfortable feeling like the mom is probably suffering in some way feeling like her chance is blown and that is so crazy because this is a 4 year old and it is K. Maybe I'm projecting and I'm crazy but I just hate watching one kid cry at every playdate. My kid goes in willingly.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:25 PM Flagyuck, this is a really insensitive and self-centered comment.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:31 PM Flag-
plus also the precious snowflake comment. there is room in between something being no bid deal and permanent emotional scarring.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:46 PM Flageh is right. there won't be any permanent scarring for a kid going into a playdate with professionals. it's a good little challenge for them. the scarring is from the parents anxiety and pressure. the kids don't need to know the differenc.e
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 05:53 PM Flagno one is worrying about permanent scarring, asshole. it is torture bc you know your child is f'ing up their chances at the school for having the nerve to act like a child.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:11 PM Flagsensitive much? the fact that you're tortured is a sign you're taking it too seriously.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:18 PM FlagOP: I hate this website sometimes. I didn't say anyone was being emotionally scarred. I said I hate watching a kid cry whenever I take my kid to these playdates. It makes me FEEL BAD for the mom and the kid who is only 4. The fact that you are so harsh is just so sad. Do you feel good when you see a child cry and a mom stressed out?
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:30 PM Flagyou're right, i re-read and take back what i said about scarring in this instance. but I don't feel good, don't feel bad. The mother and kid will handle it, why should I waste any time feeling one way or another? Certainly dont' get worked up enough to start hating the process, or go on a rant about it. i'm in the 'no big deal' camp.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 07:23 PM Flag
you are raising a teacup. most children don't cry. she probably has separation anxiety which you created by your co-sleeping and lack of discipline.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 08:06 AM Flagit is an awful process, bad for children, bad for grown-ups too. i would argue that plenty of children are permanently harmed by the process. if you think they don't get the subtle messages over the course of an entire admissions season, you are wrong. parents are anxious and that rubs off. the erb is an insane mis-use of the wppsi. supply is so scarce, demand is so high, the variables so personal and random, it's excruciating. if you want your child to get a decent education, and you aren't zoned for a good public, it is mandatory.
[ Reply | More ]12.10.11, 08:53 AM Flag
[+] Feel like a terrible mother. Fell asleep last night nursing one week old ds and he en... 21 replies
- Get a co-sleeper, bassinet, or pack & Play for next to your bed if you're worried about having him in the bed w/...pillows. Mothers do not roll on top of their babies, it's hardwired into them, unless they are drunk or high. Co-sleeping is normal and natural and has been done throughout time. Give yourself a break and understand that guideline are written for...
Talk : : December 08, 2011
Feel like a terrible mother. Fell asleep last night nursing one week old ds and he ended up sleeping in our bed for 3 hours. Could have been horrible. The other day I also fell asleep w/ him on my chest in the rocking chair. This feeding every 2 1/2 hours (while it takes 45 mins) is so exhausting. How long does this last?
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.08.11, 06:02 AM Flag ]Why would it have been horrible for him to sleep in your bed? My baby slept in our bed since birth and we never ever had a problem. In the beginning especially he was like an extension of me; I was aware of his every movement and sound. Maybe it was because up until very recently he had been part of my body, i don't know. But there was never any fear that I would roll on top of him, if that's what you're worried about.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:05 AM FlagYou're not a terrible mother. It does get better - shorter nursing time and less frequent. GL!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:05 AM FlagGet a co-sleeper, bassinet, or pack & Play for next to your bed if you're worried about having him in the bed w/ you.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:06 AM Flagop: he sleeps in a bassinet RIGHT next to our bed. This was simply me falling asleep and not putting him in the bassinet. Babies more often die of SIDS in bed w/ adults, that's all I can think of.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:08 AM FlagBut you have to think about WHY they die more often: people put babies in beds with adults that have been drinking, with lots of blankets and pillows. Mothers do not roll on top of their babies, it's hardwired into them, unless they are drunk or high. Co-sleeping is normal and natural and has been done throughout time. Give yourself a break and understand that guideline are written for the lowest common denominator.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:12 AM FlagMost babies die in beds because the adults are drunk or high, you are not going to roll over on baby nor will your instincts allow you to let DH roll over on baby.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:36 AM Flag-
My DH was not, I was in a dead sleep and all I remember is waking up mid-snore because I sensed DB moving away from me, it was DH getting ready to use DB and pillow to help prop his stomach up, I snatched DB and kicked him in the groin hard. He woke up yelling in pain and ask what happened, I told him and since then he refuses to sleep next to an infant.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 07:04 AM Flag
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Happened to me all the time, and to every new mom I've ever met, don't be so hard on yourself! I once fell asleep in the rocking chair and found DD in the crook of my arm and side of chair! It gets easier and easier, first 3-4 months are the scariest and hardest. Try to get some sleep!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 06:07 AM Flagdon't feel bad. the best thing you can do is plan that sometimes you'll fall asleep with baby--keep all blankets off you and db if you nurse lying down and maybe wear him in a moby while you rock him in the rocking chair, and ask dh to keep an eye on you sometimes. this is mostly for your own piece of mind
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 07:42 AM FlagDon't worry, new mom! I fell asleep in the glider chair while nursing db, and awoke some time later as he was barely hanging on to my calf, asleep. I have no idea if he gradually slid down, or fell, or how long I had been asleep and let my arms just let go of him. He has also fallen off the bed and the couch multiple times, and now that he is 18 months and running around all over the place, I anticipate a trip to the ER!
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 08:05 AM FlagIf you feel terrible for this I would have been suicidal throughout both kids' infancies. I fell asleep all the time and they slept with me for the first couple of months because I flat out refused to get out of my warm bed at night to nurse. I personally think that unless you are obese, alcoholic or drug-addicted, or sleep in a water bed, or some combination of those three, there is no way you will actually roll over and hurt your baby. It's instinctual; you just don't do it. As for falling asleep while he's in the rocking chair, don't beat yourself up about it, just try harder to get a nap in without the baby--while he's sleeping in his bassinet take a nap, for instance. It doesn't last that long--usually 4 weeks max.
[ Reply | More ]12.08.11, 08:33 AM FlagI have bedshared intentionally with all three babies. they thrive with the nursing and contact with mom and we both get SO MUCH MORE SLEEP. My first pediatrician told me that if we are nursing, all the evidence is that its not more dangerous. remove extra padding/pillows/blankets (i/e keep it simple) do not bedshare with other kids, with people who are drinking, who smoke, or who are taking medications that make them drowsy.
[ Reply | More ]12.09.11, 07:27 AM Flag
[+] First DB coming in a -3 months. We have nothing yet and freaking out. I know everyo... 12 replies
- or where you can put him/her down safely. If you plan to cosleep on your bed you don't need a crib right away. Bassinet is a waste of $$ for me. Don't buy those electric rocking things just yet - both my kids slept in their co-sleepers and cribs from day 1, no need for that thing. But if you end up with a fussy baby maybe it'll help. Stuff that I found useless and gave away - bottle warmer, diaper pail (just throw in garbage and take out every night, esp if you...
Talk : : December 02, 2011
First DB coming in a -3 months. We have nothing yet and freaking out. I know everyone says all I really need it a few things. But what should I get now to put my mind at ease and at least feel more prepared?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.02.11, 07:06 AM Flag ]infant car seat and stroller/bassinet of some sort, place to change the baby, place for baby to sleep and sheets for that, diaper pail, baby shampoo and lotion, some simple onsies and warmer things to dress DB in, swaddling blankets, burp clothes, bottles if you plan on formula feeding or supplementing.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:09 AM FlagI think a breast pump is nice if you are breastfeedings(so others can help). Other than that - everybody has certain things that "got them few those first few months." One of the things nobody tells you about newborns is this: when they are awake, they want to be held, so it's hard to do ANYTHING else. But there are little places you can put them for 10-20 minutes if they are in a good mood (more or less depending on the baby), and these can be a swing, a playmat where they can swat at things, a boppy chair, etc. The swing and the boppy can be useful for making them fall asleep. But every baby is different so might make sense to wait and see what your baby likes. A bjorn can also be useful to free up your hands - I didn't use mine much out of the house, but was great inside the house.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:14 AM Flag
don't freak! The whole consumer thing is so overblown with babies. I got a baby sling, a fold up stroller, a car seat, and you will get lots of clothes at your shower, thats it. We used a cloth diaper service, we did not use a baby monitor, co sleeper (our dcs slept in bed with us), diaper genie or all this other stuff. The only thing you'll need right away is car seat, diapers and a few outfits.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:14 AM FlagAgree with above. I was recommended this & it was fabulous. I've since recommended it to others & they love it, too: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322839103&sr=8-1
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:19 AM Flagto sleep in? Baby looks so cute in pic, but also so curled and squished is this for overnight or just day? newborn too?
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:30 AM FlagNewborn, my daughter was out of it in a couple of months, but she rested so peacefully in it during that time, which gave me the opportunity to do other things around the house. I wouldn't recommend for overnight (although I've done it a few times), but my friends swear by that, too. Babies liked to be swaddled & put in it.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:34 AM Flag
I sent dh to go buy things while db and I were in the maternity ward. In the end we used very little: a good nursing pillow (my breast friend), a graco carseat and snap n go (db slept in it), a moby wrap, newborn and size one diapers plus wipes and diaper cream, a miracle blanket, wash cloths and cloth diapers (for burp clothes), a few styles of pacifiers, sleepers and onesies and a fisher price vibrating seat (db slept in this too). That was 95% of what we used for the first 3 months.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:44 AM FlagJust a word of advice, really start with the basics and buy as you go. We bought so much stuff, I now look at all the wasted $$ and cannot believe. You need a stroller that's for sure. Are you going to carry the baby? If yes, then a baby carrier or a sling. Definitely a place to sleep or where you can put him/her down safely. If you plan to cosleep on your bed you don't need a crib right away. Bassinet is a waste of $$ for me. Don't buy those electric rocking things just yet - both my kids slept in their co-sleepers and cribs from day 1, no need for that thing. But if you end up with a fussy baby maybe it'll help. Stuff that I found useless and gave away - bottle warmer, diaper pail (just throw in garbage and take out every night, esp if you breastfeed, it doesn't smell), sleep positioner, bouncy seat.
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:46 AM Flag^^a few items I loved - if yo are going to swaddle (highly recommended) - I loved Swaddle Design blankets and the swaddle sleep sacks for summer. Also the muslin wraps (Aden & Anais). I second cloth diapers for burp cloths. A mobile with unbreakable mirror, both my kids loved to look at that thing. For the first months try to buy clothes that snap on the side, babies don't like stuff that goes over their head ( I used the basic Carter's T-hirts and loved them)
[ Reply | More ]12.02.11, 07:53 AM Flag
[+] 26 mo DS just climbed out of his crib for the first tine. Then he walked passed me an... 17 replies
- op: so all my friends say crib tent (or co-sleep, but ds is going to have a little sibling in 2 months so that's out) and so do all of you. So now the question is: which one?...
Talk : : December 01, 2011
26 mo DS just climbed out of his crib for the first tine. Then he walked passed me and got in my bed. help! How do I get him to stay in his crib? Should we make it a toddler bed? Any help appreciated...
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | More12.01.11, 06:01 PM Flag ]We did the crib tent. Some think it's barbaric but the ped was the first to recommend it and it was awesome to zip him up and know he'd stay.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:03 PM Flag-
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well everyone said that we should keep him in the crib until he coimbed out. and now he has. he was really sick for a week and twas sleeping with us. tonight was supposed to be night 1 of sleep rehab, but now he can get out and my technique was based on him staying put. kids suck what with their growing and changing all the time.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:19 PM FlagIf you don't want a constant struggle - sleeping in your bed is not a good idea. It's fine if you don't mind him in there - but if you don't, don't make exceptions when he's sick - kids don't understand exceptions - especially at 2. Mine loved his toddler bed around 19 months. We had to put a gate at the door (super nanny techniques didn't work) - he goes to bed no problem now w/ no gate.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:23 PM Flagwhen he's sick he's with us because if not he wakes up 15 times a night. and the last two days he threw up and I just felt better with him next to me. We also co-slept for the first 15 mo but have been pretty adament about him sleeping in his crib since. The first 2 nights are rough after an illness, but then it goes back to normal. But now I can't leave the room to let him CIO.
[ Reply | More ]12.01.11, 06:32 PM Flag
[+] Anyone out there who practices attachment parenting? I continue to hold my now five ... 33 replies
- her to sleep next to me, then in the co-sleeper, but I had to sleep train (not CIO) to...1, and then we did do a bit of co-sleeping combined with the crib, or the crib mattress in...It really just depends on if she wants to co-sleep or not. If not, she might consider training. That...sucked so much energy out of me, esp. the co-sleeping part. Dc still crawls into bed with us in...and fall back asleep? It'll still let you co-sleep but will teach him to fall asleep on his...
Talk : : November 27, 2011
Anyone out there who practices attachment parenting? I continue to hold my now five month old when he goes to sleep at night. I let him nurse as much he wants and pretty much cradle him in my arms from about 8:30 ( when older dc goes to sleep) to 10:30 when I go to sleep next to him. If I try to put him down, he screams. Will he eventually get over this or am I setting myself up for a big problem?
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.27.11, 06:17 PM Flag ]This is what we did and we didn't have any problems whatsoever. DCs are now 4 and 2.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:21 PM Flagbut if db screams when OP puts him down that means she can't ever do anything. She can't take a shower, let alone leave the house. How can you say there were no problems whatsoever?
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:26 PM Flag
I had to eventually sleep train at 9 mos. Not sure I would have done if earlier, though.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:23 PM FlagHe will, of course. The question is when? If you are starting to feel like it's too much, then work with him on sleeping elsewhere - crib or if he still fits, bassinet at the side of the bed is an option. I lean AP, but my kids slept in a crib in the room with us mostly until about 1, and then we did do a bit of co-sleeping combined with the crib, or the crib mattress in our room. It takes some work - try swaddling/wrapping in a warm blanket and transitioning about 5-10 min right after he falls asleep. My oldest got settled into a big-boy bed at 3.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:25 PM FlagI tried this with mine, and she REFUSES to sleep through the night alone at 4.5. I have tried everything and she'll cry until she throws up if I don't come to her and allow her to sleep in my bed. At this point I'm so tired from waking up to a screaming child in the middle of the night that I go to sleep in her bed or just put her to bed in mine.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:30 PM FlagI kind of did this but didn't call it attachment parenting, called it 'want to get some friggin sleep since dh isn't helping'. To date both kids are sleeping in their own beds although the younger one (just turned 4 would like to sleep next to us but is practicing independence, however he leaves his lights on in his room randomly in middle of the night). I had empathy for my babies (and my neighbors), it is instinctive for them to want the security and safety of proximity to a parent during sleep - most young mammals do.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:40 PM Flaghaha. I get it, but can you help me with my 4.5 yr old. I posted above :)
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:46 PM FlagYour 4.5yo is tooling you. I frankly had no problem making threats to my new 4yo about losing privileges or toys each time he comes out to gripe about needing water, some random concern about the arrangement of his books, an uninteresting observation about his day, etc... I would growl "BED! or you lose a .... (current favorite toy)" I would relent if he had a nap though, those are bedtime killers.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 06:56 PM Flagbed was a serious matter in our house at that age. we have a ritual, and we stick to it no matter what. i didn't allow any nonsense. however, i did practice attachment parenting until shortly before that. she was with me in my bed until about 4. then i switched her over at first in our bedroom with her own bed, and then her own room. she's now a very secure sleeper, who has no problem sleeping in the dark, on her own, without bugging us.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 07:46 PM Flag
I did attachment parenting too (dc now 7) and really wish I hadn't been so into it. It sucked so much energy out of me, esp. the co-sleeping part. Dc still crawls into bed with us in the middle of the night; didn't sleep on own till 4. On the pro side, dc is extremely outgoing, confident and emotionally secure. Me, I'm worn out and would not do it again. From my observations, attachment parenting works best when one parent stays at home and has the time and energy to devote to dc. I am a working parent and it was tough.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 07:20 PM FlagITA. Have a gf who did/does attachment parenting with twins but she stays home and has expendable income and a housekeeper. Her db's seem great at 4, really confident and sweet but even with all of the extra help she looked really frickin tired for almost three years.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 07:25 PM Flag
That is so hard, I feel for you, OP! It is such an important time but sleep deprivation can make you crazy. Can you try putting him down after bf'ing in his bassinet, and then if he wakes up in the night you can bring him into your bed, bf and fall back asleep? It'll still let you co-sleep but will teach him to fall asleep on his own. Not being able to fall asleep on their own is a really hard habit to break.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 07:56 PM FlagI held my first way too much - he was okay at night, but wouldn't sleep during the day if I put him down. Having a second really teaches you a lot! You put them down out of necessity and they are just fine!!
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 08:20 PM FlagIt depends. If you want to practice attachment parenting only until he is 7 months then you might have a rough go of it in 2 months. If attachment parenting is how you will parent then no. I BF son on demand for over 2 1/2 years, he had no sleep schedule, we co-slept from day 1 (and still do) and he would only go to sleep in my arms for nap and night time. It wasn't a problem for me because I liked it and knew that's what we wanted to do going into it.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 11:20 PM Flag
[+] Sleep question (anti CIO people please don't respond): 7 mo has been sleep trained fo... 32 replies
- Women are now told that their babies will die if they co-sleep, so basically no one can win here....
Talk : : November 26, 2011
Sleep question (anti CIO people please don't respond): 7 mo has been sleep trained for 2 months and goes to bed w/o crying, but still wakes randomly at different times during the night (sometimes just once, sometimes 3-4 times) and cries/screams for up to 20 minutes. We try not to go in because we don't want to "untrain" him or create a bad waking habit. But why is he still crying? He knows how to go to sleep on his own. I worry something is wrong, but when I have gone in it just starts him on a downward spiral that he continues waking/crying throughout the night. Please help. Thanks
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreHow long are you expecting him to sleep? At this age, 6-7 hours is considered sleeping through the night. He may need a bottle/breast.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 04:52 PM FlagThis happened to us. CIO just didn't work for us. I'm totally not anti CIO but I don't think it works for everyone. I stuck to the 5-10-15 check ins for a month but then I abandoned it and went in and picked him up because it ultimately made him sleep for longer stretches. To me it was a better option than ignoring him and him sleeping for an hour. And at 12 months he started STTN on this own. Sometimes when he is teething or something he still wakes up for a min but if I wait a couple min he goes back to sleep (he is 16 months now.)
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 04:53 PM FlagHow often would you have to go it? Before we did CIO, it had gotten so bad I was going in every hour. It just isn't tenable. I"m really at a loss-- DC#1 was such a good sleeper I am just totally thrown by DC#2.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 04:55 PM Flagyes every hour. He would go back to sleep after 5 min of crying at one point but it was like what is the point? He just wakes up in another hour. But if I would comfort him he would sleep more like 3-4 hours. I'm not saying abandon your plan yet but just a thought that maybe CIO won't work. I think it works for most people, but I swear it didn't for me. And I was consistent! I think he started STTN at 12 months because we weaned off formula and me solids a more predominant part of his diet. Maybe try tweaking night time dinner & pushing more solids...
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:01 PM Flagop: thanks for your response. Before we did CIO, baby would wake every hour even with soothing. I just can't go back to that.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:08 PM Flagyea I think it still helped to do CIO even though it didn't totally work. He was the same way before CIO. It wasn't until CIO that he would sleep longer stretches. I think CIO taught him to fall asleep on his own but he still needed some reassurance to feel ok. I did CIO at 6 months.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:11 PM Flag
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Maybe he is having reflux. I would speak to pediatrician. He could also be teething. Does he have something to soothe himself with in the bed? We use alot(6) Little Giraffe blankies, so our db can always find one. She does have reflux and takes Zantac. She is db #4, so we had to let her CIO, but made sure we solved the reflux issue first.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:28 PM Flaghow do you know if it is reflux? Does she spit up? If he had it, would he have problems during the day as well?
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:29 PM FlagMy db was spitting up alot during the day and sometimes vomiting (which the zantac completely stopped). Some babies can have a more minor reflux and just be bothered when they are lying down. After 4 db, I am firm believer in CIO. But if you are doing it consistently (not picking them up and not giving in) and they are still waking up and crying, something is wrong (reflux, teething, too cold, etc.)
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:34 PM FlagI don't think it is reflux, but I am worried something else is wrong. He has a tooth coming in and he just started sitting by himself. If it is his tooth, should I be going in to soothe him? It seems to create a bad habit.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:37 PM FlagI would try not to pick him up since you can't take away his tooth pain anyways. I would try a couple nights of just being firm (no pick up, just pats on the back). If you don't feel like it is getting better and he is crying for a long time, something is probably really bothering him. CIO is tough. Being a mom is tough. It is so hard to know what is right.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:46 PM Flag
My 7 month old does this too. We can't figure it out but I think it might be teething.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:31 PM FlagThat makes me feel so bad that we leave him to cry most of the time. But Dr Weissbluth and the other sleep experts that we follow say teething doesn't cause night waking. It could also be that he's starting to crawl-- but either way, does that mean that we should go in? Or leave him to cry?
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:36 PM FlagOR: I'm hardly an expert but we've kept on with the CIO, mostly because we don't know what else to do. She wants to nurse but we don't want to feed her so we try to give her Sophie and other teething toys. She does also "practice" crawling at night too -- like she did with rolling. I'm hoping this phase passes soon.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:43 PM Flag
having raised 4 children I think they might be hungry. Growth spurts etc. None of my kids ever cried because they got a boob/bottle in a dark room-no lights ever in the whole house because it is night and not playtime. Good luck.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 06:04 PM Flag
Could he be hungry? I was under the impresssion (Ferber, I think?) that some babies need a middle of the night feeding until 9 mos or so.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 05:55 PM FlagAnti CIO responding anyway- PLEASE do not let your baby cry alone. Babies NEED THEIR MOTHERS, their warmth and closeness are vital to health and well-being. So-called experts are full of crap. Sleep with your baby next to you and see what a difference it makes. I have learned this and will never understand why mothers are unwilling to keep their babies next to them at night as nature intends and as women have done for millennia. Our society has effectively deprogrammed the mother's instinct. LISTEN to your baby. Listen to your heart. PLEASE.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 07:26 PM FlagWomen are now told that their babies will die if they co-sleep, so basically no one can win here.
[ Reply | More ]11.26.11, 07:33 PM FlagRichard Ferber is a physician who chairs a pediatric sleep disorder center -- where did you get your sleep medicine degree? Besides, for many parents, "CIO" is misnamed because it actually involves less crying than not sleep training. You're teaching your baby to make positive sleep associations so he or she can fall asleep and stay asleep without needing to call out for you every hour. Win-win.
[ Reply | More ]11.27.11, 03:45 AM Flag
[+] I know having a newborn can be exhausting but should I feel as if I can sleep all day... 8 replies
- My son woke up 8 times a night until he was over a year old. Then he only woke up 4 times a night until he was 3.5 years old. We co-sleep so for years I never got a big chunk of uninterrupted sleep. Felt like a zombie and looked like one too....
Talk : : November 23, 2011
I know having a newborn can be exhausting but should I feel as if I can sleep all day and still not get enough sleep?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.23.11, 09:02 AM Flag ]normal to feel that way. I bet if you did have a chance to sleep all day, you would wake up and feel refreshed, but in your mind you feel insatiable. Just like when you haven't eaten all day and you really believe you could eat a whole buffet table of food, but then when you actually eat, you find yourself satisfied after a few bites. Try to steal time to rest wherever you can.
[ Reply | More ]11.23.11, 09:04 AM FlagMy son woke up 8 times a night until he was over a year old. Then he only woke up 4 times a night until he was 3.5 years old. We co-sleep so for years I never got a big chunk of uninterrupted sleep. Felt like a zombie and looked like one too.
[ Reply | More ]11.23.11, 09:14 AM Flag-
Haven't had a second yet so wondering if you did anything different with your kids after your first? Don't want to go through that again if I can help it. TIA.
[ Reply | More ]11.23.11, 09:20 AM Flagnope, he was just a different child altogether...#1 was always a "needy child" likes affection and to be close to me. The other guy is very independant and very mature and just seemed to not need that companionship as much. He does sometimes come sleep with me, but he's actually pretty good about going to bed alone.
[ Reply | More ]11.23.11, 09:29 AM Flag
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OP: My DD is a good sleeper so far, so I feel like I get enough rest but when I wake up I still feel exhausted.
[ Reply | More ]11.23.11, 09:17 AM Flag
[+] Can you help me with sleep issues with my 18 mon old DS? Background: DS is #2. Shares... 15 replies
- op: I don't mind co-sleeping per se but no one is sleeping well. I'm being awakened every couple of hours to nurse, and I don't necessarily want to go to bed at 10pm myself. The other night I went out until 10:30 and dc screamed for half an hour until I...
Talk : : November 18, 2011
Can you help me with sleep issues with my 18 mon old DS? Background: DS is #2. Shares a room with older sib (4). Was a decent sleeper as a baby; we sleep trained at 8 months and he slept 7 to 5am....until a couple of months ago, when he began waking randomly in the middle of the night & wouldn't go back in crib. I didn't want him to wake #1 so I started bringing him into our bed for the rest of the night after he woke. Cue slippery slope. Now we're in a terrible pattern where he goes to sleep in crib, wakes at 10pm and co-sleeps for most of the night, nursing on and off. Not sure how to get back to where we were. Is he too old to re-sleep train? I'm afraid he'll scream for hours, climb out of the crib....
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.18.11, 09:01 AM Flag ]just hop in the time machine and don't take him in your bed!
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:02 AM Flag-
or: sorry OP, I was jk. I think it's never to old to sleep train. This is how I would do it: First read someone like Ferber so you have a plan. Then get an air mattress for your older dc and have him sleep in your room for a few nights (with a fan if necessary to block noise). Sleep train 18 mo and in a week both dc are in their room sleeping peacefully thru the night.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:09 AM Flag
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Nothing wrong with bringing him into your bed. It's not a slippery slope. Do what you have to do. It will change again in a few months.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:10 AM Flagida. An 18 mo needs to sleep through the night. Just like OP and her DH do. And he shouldn't be dream feeding at that age.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:16 AM Flagop: I don't mind co-sleeping per se but no one is sleeping well. I'm being awakened every couple of hours to nurse, and I don't necessarily want to go to bed at 10pm myself. The other night I went out until 10:30 and dc screamed for half an hour until I got home. It just doesn't feel workable.
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:25 AM Flag
I am in a similar boat, although my ds stopped nursing around 18 months. Now he is 22 months and on a good night he stays in his crib until 2/3 am. A bad night is the same, I have to get into my bed with him at 10:30. I feel like I cannot sleeptrain him because he will just try to climb out if he gets frustrated. I think the next chance for this is when they are old enough to reason with, but I would love some btdt advice!
[ Reply | More ]11.18.11, 09:41 AM Flag
[+] Curious, if you SAHM, BF and co-sleep, how do you get db used to other caregivers? 4 replies
Talk : : November 17, 2011
[+] 7 wk old DB has not been napping during the day and then only sleeps in 3 hour interv... 9 replies
- My dd was a terrible sleeper at that age. Do what you can for the first three months. I would hold her, co-sleep, car seat, whatever. Make sure you swaddle. I wouldn't let them cry at that age....
Talk : : November 15, 2011
7 wk old DB has not been napping during the day and then only sleeps in 3 hour intervals at night. Seems like he would need more sleep, but he has been wide awake during the day for the past 2 days. What can I do to get him to sleep?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.15.11, 07:48 PM Flag ]double burp him. my first always woke up crying and gassy. the second burp results in good sleeps. This i learned with my second who is now 4 months. Also, my first DB was always OVERTIRED because I did not realize he needed to sleep. Get a swing and put him in it immediately to nap during the day. You will be amazed at how much he sleeps at night as a result. Overtired babies cannot fall asleep for long. Terrible existence for you and him. Mine goes to sleep every 1.5 to 2 hours and, as I said, she is 4 months old.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 08:40 PM Flag
[+] Did you see this? Is co-sleeping really so bad? 15 replies
- a very small infant we had him in a co-sleeper attached to the bed. He eventually started sleeping with...
- I took a lot of criticism for co-sleeping with DD, but I had no choice. For a...
- Co-sleeping is wonderful. Of course you have to be...in the bed with the baby. When you co-sleep you become so attuned to the movements of the...factors involved, but in Japan (where we live) co-sleeping is the norm, and the SIDS rate is...
Talk : : November 15, 2011
Did you see this? Is co-sleeping really so bad?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.15.11, 04:05 PM Flag ]http://news.yahoo.com/milwaukee-runs-provocative-ads-wake-parents-dangers-co-213117311.html
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:05 PM FlagI co-slept with my son. I think you have to take precautions. When he was a very small infant we had him in a co-sleeper attached to the bed. He eventually started sleeping with us at 3-4 months old and we never had any big bulky bedding on the bed, minimal pillows etc. I also have a king size bed so there was little fear of rolling over on him. We NEVER went to sleep buzzed/drunk and don't do drugs. I think you have to be careful especially with a small infant.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:25 PM FlagCo-sleeping is wonderful. Of course you have to be smart about it. That means no one who has been drinking or doing drugs is allowed in the bed with the baby. When you co-sleep you become so attuned to the movements of the baby that there's no fear of rolling over onto it. It's not logical, but neither is most of motherhood.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:59 PM Flag-
this. The guidelines have to say not to because they are talking to the lowest common denominator of people. The same thing with alcohol and pregnancy: there's nothing wrong with an occasional drink when you're pg, but if the guidelines said that morons would be getting drunk or drinking every day because they would misinterpret the word 'occasional' in the guidelines.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 05:30 PM Flag
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i co-slept with dd for a long time. she always slept with her feet up against me. with a king size bed, i never worried. dh did not sleep with us during that time, which was a bummer, but dd and i have bonded more firmly b/c of it, i think. she's also a very confident sleeper.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 07:12 PM Flag
[+] Crib question for you. We are expecting our first child, at long last and are lookin... 29 replies
- One out of 3 of my dc refused the crib. I do think it's worth starting with a co-sleeper or snuggle nest or moses basket (pick your favorite). I have had many cribs due to moves and 3 dc. I will say that the expensive, high quality cribs (I had a Netto) was truly and obviously more solid, better designed, smoother drawer, etc...
Talk : : November 15, 2011
Crib question for you. We are expecting our first child, at long last and are looking at cribs. It seems that if you don't mind a few toxins with your crib, they are in the $300 range. If you'd rather pass on the toxins, and can afford to pass, they are in the $700 range (Oeuf, for example). Are these concerns real? (We would get an organic mattress regardless.) Thanks in advance.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.15.11, 03:25 PM Flag ]One out of 3 of my dc refused the crib. I do think it's worth starting with a co-sleeper or snuggle nest or moses basket (pick your favorite). I have had many cribs due to moves and 3 dc. I will say that the expensive, high quality cribs (I had a Netto) was truly and obviously more solid, better designed, smoother drawer, etc than the cheap cribs. But I bought it used and resold it. Not sure I would pay the $1500 for a new one, ever. I don't think the toxin concern is real and I don't think the mattress really matters - the kid barely makes a dent in it. I do think the features and ensuring it is solid matter (but most are).
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 03:48 PM FlagI don't think expensive cribs are necessarily free of toxins or vice-versa.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 03:49 PM FlagIn the grand scheme of things, I'd be more concerned that the crib is sturdy without any physical hazards than fearful about the off gassing of toxins. The human body is gloriously resilient and your baby will be exposed to all sorts of toxins from their first breath---especially if you live in an urban area. Which more importantly if you live in an urban area and desire for your child to live an organic toxin free life, my suggestion to you would not be a higher priced crib, but to pack your bags and move.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:04 PM FlagNP - ITDA with this. The fact that your baby will be exposed to a lot of toxins in an urban area is all the more reason to try to limit the toxins at home. Also, it's a proven fact that air is more toxic in apartments because less air can escape than from a house.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:42 PM Flag
I was concerned about formaldehyde emissions, so I got a Romina - solid wood, no hamrful toxins. The legal limits for emission from cribs do permit some formaldehyde, which is too much, IMHO. If you're concerned and you can afford it, spend the money and sleep easier.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:40 PM FlagThat's actually bs. Even Ike's cribs are made with low vox paints and don't have toxins you describe above. I got a 300 crib from Albees and it's definitely non toxic paint, low vox paint, etc. I checked for that specifically And I had a budget that wouldn't let me go above 400. Ignore the crazies above aout no crib, btw. You def need one for two years! I did spend on the organic mattress, btw
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:54 PM FlagI have no idea about how bad the toxins are, but I like to side with caution and do what I can within reason and my means. That said, I bought a made in the USA Young America crib by stanley. They are solid wood and totally non-toxic. They are now (as of 5 years or so ago) only made in the USA, start to finish. There have been a lot of problems with finding lead and other toxins in the varnishes and paints on cribs made in China and Taiwan in recent years, even when they were marketed as non-toxic, so this was an important factor for me. I figure, maybe its a lot of drama for nothing, but it cant hurt!
[ Reply | More ]11.16.11, 04:40 AM Flag^^just to add, your child will spend more time in the crib than anywhere else, about 15 hours a day. You may as well spend the money there to make it a good environment and skimp on other things, like organic cotton socks, kwim? I would also add an air purifier with a fan in the room, to clean the air and make white noise - two birds, one stone.
[ Reply | More ]11.16.11, 04:43 AM Flag
I agree with waiting on the crib. I got the $700 wood, no mdf, no coating crib. And used it as a safe place to put ds when I went to bathroom or washed hands after changing diapers. Have it up bec I have the room and my sister's db uses it when she visits. Ds 2.5 and never spent a night in it. Pack & play to a bed. The p&p has a higher setting for infant, then lowers. The mesh sides are soft--my guy was a thrasher and I didn't want him banging into crib. Of course who knows what kind of toxins are in that thing.
[ Reply | More ]11.16.11, 04:52 AM Flag
[+] Just started night weaning. How long did it take your baby to night wean? Mine is 1... 5 replies
- do you co-sleep? how are you weaning? trying to figure out what to do with my 17 mon old nursing addict who also co-sleeps part of the night....
Talk : : November 14, 2011
Just started night weaning. How long did it take your baby to night wean? Mine is 18 mos and a serial nurser.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.14.11, 10:51 PM Flag ]do you co-sleep? how are you weaning? trying to figure out what to do with my 17 mon old nursing addict who also co-sleeps part of the night.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 04:02 AM Flagwe cosleep but for the night weaning i am sleeping in a different room. for some reason i haven't needed to pump when i'm away from the baby for long stretches of time (8 hours or so) even though when i was with him i'd usually nurse him every 2-3 hours on demand. so at night he's with his dad so he's not alone. during the day i'm trying to drop it down to 3 times a day, then 2.
[ Reply | More ]11.15.11, 01:25 PM Flag
[+] Our baby is due at the end of February. :-) We decided not to have a baby shower. ... 12 replies
- Stroller blankets are super handy. I like burp cloths (or cute little cloth diapers) for spit up and soft little wash cloths. Do you know where the baby will sleep? I liked a co-sleeper attached to the bed, and they make sheets esp to fit them. For newborns, I like the kimono onsies that tie and the little side snap ones. Long nightgowns for sleeping....
Talk : : November 12, 2011
Our baby is due at the end of February. :-) We decided not to have a baby shower. Although friends have been very generous with their unused baby gear, we still have a ways to go. What is truly necessary? Like how many onesies, hats, crib sheets, etc? What brand of baby carrier would you recommend - Ergo? Baby Bjorn? other?...and what did you find less usful or not at all necessary? We decided not to have a baby shower. TIA!
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.12.11, 04:07 AM Flag ]An ergo is too big for newborns, not safe. It is the best for when they're older. There's an infant insert but IMO it is better to just wait to use it. I liked the pouch (peanut shell?) in beginning but db was small and I'm flat chested. If you're going to wear a lot the moby wrap is takes getting used to but is very comfortable and ideal for winter. Plus dh can use it too. We are no hippies and loved "wearing" db. If you live in NYC, the best thing to do is go to a store after db is born and the baby wearing nerds will help you and DH try different things.
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 04:26 AM FlagThe best baby carrier is the one that you and DH find most comfortable. Go to a store and try on a bunch. We had the Bjorn for the newborn phase and the Ergo for the bigger phase.
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 05:11 AM FlagP.S. And to answer your other questions, I would get around 10 onesies, 2 hats, and 2 sets of crib sheets, assuming that you have easy access to a washing machine (in your building). One thing that I never used: newborn blankets. I put DB in a swaddler with velcro closures when she was little, then a sleepsack when she was older. I had about 3 or 4 swaddlers then 2 or 3 sleepsacks.
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 05:20 AM Flagnp Bjorn is very bad for babies' hips, actually. Ergo or even a sling are MUCH better choices.
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 05:33 AM Flag
Stroller blankets are super handy. I like burp cloths (or cute little cloth diapers) for spit up and soft little wash cloths. Do you know where the baby will sleep? I liked a co-sleeper attached to the bed, and they make sheets esp to fit them. For newborns, I like the kimono onsies that tie and the little side snap ones. Long nightgowns for sleeping.
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 05:42 AM FlagHere's a couple of things we couldn't live without in the past two months with our DB: 1. Sleep Sheep: This thing rocks. She loves the white noise and it helps her sleep, 2. Soothie Pacifiers: Flame away, but sometimes they just need to suck on something. 3. Halo Sleepsack/Swaddler: Also helps with the sleeping and feeling cozy, 4. Boppy pillow: I know there's a big debate on boppy vs. brest friend, but I love the Boppy. Good luck!!
[ Reply | More ]11.12.11, 08:44 AM Flag
[+] Did anyone else just see super angry mom come in because she's tearing the place up a... 29 replies
- I guess I was just thinking that when toddlers co-sleep it's one thing, but when a 4th grade girl co-sleeps, she is already having crushes on boys and possibly starting puberty, and the thought of...Maybe I'm old fashioned. But I think that co-sleeping should no longer even be a conversation once they..., I agree that she's too old to co-sleep although for me it would mostly be a matter...from my DH I don't even need a co-sleeper in there. But he never elbowed me in...
Talk : : November 10, 2011
Did anyone else just see super angry mom come in because she's tearing the place up all of a sudden
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.10.11, 07:36 PM Flag ]seriously. She is super angry that I didn't live alone and married young. Yikes.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:38 PM Flag-
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I was told I was being super weird when I mentioned that 8 year olds were within the normal age range to enter puberty. I dunno why. Maybe mean mom doesn't like scientific facts.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:40 PM FlagActually, that was me. I love science I just didn't see what it had to do with the kid wanting to sleep with her parents.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:42 PM FlagOh, haha, sorry. I assumed you were the same crazy lady from below. I guess I was just thinking that when toddlers co-sleep it's one thing, but when a 4th grade girl co-sleeps, she is already having crushes on boys and possibly starting puberty, and the thought of a child going through puberty sleeping with 2 adults is no longer appropriate, even if they are her parents. Just like how dad can help his 4 year old get dressed, but shouldn't be helping his 9 year old get dressed. Maybe I'm old fashioned. But I think that co-sleeping should no longer even be a conversation once they are that age.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:45 PM FlagLol, I agree that she's too old to co-sleep although for me it would mostly be a matter of space in the bed. I swear my 5 year old is already all elbows, I don't want her in my bed because I'm afraid of waking up with a black eye
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:48 PM FlagHaha I get black eyes from my DH I don't even need a co-sleeper in there. But he never elbowed me in a double bed... only in the new king bed. He says it's because he feels all this space now and feels like he can thrash around, unlike in the double where we had to be careful what positions we slept in. Basically, the king bed was a waste of 2 grand. Oh well. Off topic!!
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:52 PM Flag
i think the people who envision all posters as one are religious zealots
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:42 PM Flag
[+] DD (8) begs to sleep in our bed every night. DH won't have it, and I don't particula... 24 replies
- Slamming the door and acting annoyed are a little over the top, but absolutely in no way should she be co-sleeping at age 8. Some 8 year old girls are already developing breast buds. Much to old for that nonsense....
- 8 year olds are about to turn into young women in many cases. Where it is definitely no longer appropriate to co-sleep with adults. I don't know why puberty seems weird to you....
Talk : : November 10, 2011
DD (8) begs to sleep in our bed every night. DH won't have it, and I don't particularly love it, because I really do not sleep well, and need sleep. But she asked so sweetly tonight, and while I responded initially with logic, reason, kindness, she would not accept this, so of course, as usual, I had to walk out, all annoyed, slammed the door, kind of. Am I being mean being so strict about this?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.10.11, 07:19 PM Flag ]-
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OR: yes and no. There's a middle ground between giving in and acting as you did, find it. Figure out why you get so provoked, and why you overreact. (Did one of your parents stomp around all moody? One or both of them drinkers?) Talk to some sane friends about how they handle these kinds of episodes. Observe how others manage their dc.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:40 PM Flag
you are me! 8 year old is sleeping in our bed right now. we deal with it and also have a dog who likes to sleep with us. we all usually start out in our proper sleeping beds but sometimes a migration occurs and sometimes it works and other times it ends with us all sleeping all over the place! enjoy it while it lasts!
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 07:37 PM Flag
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OP: Just to further explain - I came home from work, 9pm, very long day, and she heard me come in, and called for me and made her plea. So I was not patient. Had not taken my coat off, had not washed my hands. My back is also really killing me. I was as patient as I can be, but not June Cleaver or Mrs. Brady or 1950's mom patient. I am tired, and also tired of explaining this to her, every night.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 08:16 PM FlagNone of your sad story is your DD's fault. But you're unfairly making it her problem. Not good reasons to get so mad at her. She is lonely for you, and wants you to attend to her. This is her way of trying to engage you. You can pleasantly say you're sorry she's disappointed and you know she misses you. But you're talking about it anymore. I love you, i'll come check on you before I go to bed, bye.
[ Reply | More ]11.10.11, 08:34 PM FlagAww, now I really feel bad for her! She missed you all day. Fwiw, you really had a long day and were exhausted but next time try to be firm without the drama. It's nice of you thou to reflect about this incident, I am sure next time you will have an appropriate response.
[ Reply | More ]11.11.11, 02:44 AM Flag
If this scene plays out nightly, I would suggest a compromise. She can't sleep in your bed, but she could sleep next to it, in a sleeping bag or on a folding cot. Given how late you get home, this is her way of spending time with you but it can't be at the expense of your rest.
[ Reply | More ]11.11.11, 03:41 AM FlagYou realize you don't just have 2 choices (logic/kindness vs slamming the door) - you are the parent; just say "no" in a nice but firm way and don't give reasons, excuses, etc., as that will just encourage DD to keep trying to negotiate. Trust me, that's a lot kinder in the than losing your patience and getting annoyed at DD
[ Reply | More ]11.11.11, 06:21 AM Flag
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[+] Would you or have you ever put db down to sleep on tummy? I know all about SIDS etc.... 37 replies
- , which was clearly more comfortable for them. Most of the SIDS research, if you read it carefully, identifies clear red flags for SIDS, including co-sleeping, sleeping on sofas/chairs with DB, substance abuse by parents or a combination of the above....
- .at least until we go to bed (still co-sleeping). Thanks for advice all!...
Talk : : November 08, 2011
Would you or have you ever put db down to sleep on tummy? I know all about SIDS etc.and I have not done it, but my db will not sleep any other way and I'm exhausted. DB was with DH and MIL for a few hours and when I got home they were telling me that she slept for two hours on her own in her crib (first time this has ever happened). Finally admitted that they put her on tummy even though they know I would not do this. DH Insists it is fine and I am being paranoid and making a big deal out of nothing. She's our 3rd db. Am I paranoid?
37 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.08.11, 06:55 PM Flag ]lol, your baby is fine. They raised your dh - its fine. let it go.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 06:57 PM FlagOP- I know, but he wants to continue putting her down to sleep on her tummy and we've been arguing about it. I want her to sleep independently, but I'm worried that's he's being overconfident b/c we're on db#3 and he thinks nothing bad is ever going to happen.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:01 PM Flag
My brother ignored the "back to sleep" campaign and put db down on tummy from the beginning. They did some research and decided that it was best for their family. They were careful not to put anything else in the crib (no blanket, bumpers, pillows). Db slept great and grew into a happy and healthy kid. Let's not forget that generations of babies have been safely sleeping on their tummies.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:03 PM FlagI'm sure people will flame me - but SIDS is mostly a crock IMO. 1/2 the kids are suffocated by the parent or caregiver - the other had underlying conditions. The rates have gone down because forensic science improves over time and they're able to actually diagnose the cause of death. In actual real SIDS cases, it's just like a stillborn baby - it's unexplained, not 'bad parenting.' Most of us slept on our stomachs - it's more comfortable; especially for gassy babies. I always put them down on their back at night because of the whole 'back to sleep' thing... but whatever worked for naps - they both rolled early and would end up on their stomachs regardless of how we put them down. Now people will jump on me about my opinion of SIDS - go at it. Every child death is a horrible tragedy - some are just unexplained.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:06 PM FlagWhat about the studies that showed such a huge decline in SIDS cases after the campaign to tell moms to put their babies on their backs instead of tummies? I think it was fairly dramatic.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:14 PM FlagCall me a skeptic - but I take 'studies' with a grain of salt. It's like saying Gulliani reduced the crime rate in the city. When a homeless person getting pushed onto the subway tracks is classified as a suicide instead of a homicide, the murder rate drops. When there's a big push to 'identify' the cause of death - the 'sudden infant death' bucket drops and other classifications increase. I don't believe the infant mortality rate moved much at all. I'd need to research further, but don't really care all that much... Happy to read / discuss some stats if you post them.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:30 PM Flag
Weigh the risks with what works, but there is a reason there is such a huge campaign about Back to Sleep. Tummy sleeping has been shown to astronomically increase rates of SIDS. Doesn't mean SIDS is super common in tummy sleepers, or that your kid won't be fine as a tummy sleeper (because obviously most are), but personally I could never live with myself if I did it and then the unthinkable happened. I forget the exact percent increase in SIDS but it was huge. I'll try to google it.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:07 PM FlagI couldn't find the exact number. I do remember from school that babies who sleep on their backs most of the time and who are then placed on their tummy to sleep- after always sleeping on their back- had the most dramatic increase in chance of SIDS. I honestly want to say it was something like a 20 fold increase if a back-sleeper was suddenly made to sleep on his tummy. But unfortunately I can't find the study that I read last year.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:13 PM FlagFound it (AAP website)- prone sleeping is associated with an 18-fold increased risk in SIDS. So if it was one in 10,000 before, now it's 18 in 10,000. Or whatever. Still rare. But I'd still definitely not do it.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:18 PM FlagOP-I've read this study too. My other two started flipping onto their tummies early and once they got there on their own, no problem. But my db is only a month old. I said to my DH, even if it is unlikely to happen, what if we were the unlucky ones? What if the worst happens? This is where he thinks I'm being paranoid/ridiculous. My MIL thinks the whole notion of making babies sleep on their backs is silly and contrary to what babies need (she's ESL and in her 70's, so not easy to convince of scientific studies.) I'm doubting myself and wondering if letting her tummy sleep is really so bad.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:29 PM Flag-
Np: op is refering to it re inability to discuss scientific info
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:39 PM FlagOP-Yes, this is what I meant. I do not speak her native language well, and she does not understand wth I am talking about. I love her dearly but this type of info is beyond her scope.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:41 PM Flag-
You've got to be kidding me - this 'info' is beyond her scope? Because she doesn't speak English? You can translate any text to any language online - babblefish has been around since I was in HS - and there are about 100 others now. Insinuating that she can't comprehend BS studies because she's some dumb immigrent is just insulting. If it's just a language barrier and you can't figure out how to use Google, she's not the dumb one.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 08:45 PM FlagShe's not dumb at all. She's elderly (mid 70's) and mostly deaf, and doesnt speak english well, and I don't speak Italian well. She's not going online reading any documents I can assure you of that! I have tried explaining SIDS to her and she didn't understand what the hell I was talking about. I meant no disrespect towards her, but am realistic that she does not understand why I don't want to put the baby on her tummy.
[ Reply | More ]11.09.11, 09:11 AM Flag
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A study showed a fan in the room reduced SIDS by 72%: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/childrens-health/articles/2008/10/06/bedroom-fan-cuts-sids-risk-by-72
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:39 PM FlagCould you let her fall asleep on tummy, and then flip her over? Will she stay asleep?
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:40 PM FlagI have not tried this, but she is a light sleeper so am doubtful. As soon as put her down on her back or side her eyes snap open. Then she fusses and fusses b/c she's tired and needs to sleep. So frustrating.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:49 PM FlagOR: i figured. I don't think there's a right answer, it's about what you're comfortable with. Tho if there was any prob with hearing test, was early, or there were complications in birth, she must go on back. If you're really anxious about it, try to postpone. Tell dh that for now, unless he or MIL is going to be awake watching her, db needs to go on her back. For at least 2 more weeks. At 6 weeks you'll consider more tummy sleep. Might also talk to your Ped. Some stray from back to sleep line.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 07:59 PM FlagOp-she was perfectly healthy, hearing fine, 6 days overdue and the only issue at birth was that there was meconium, and they wanted to suction her but she started crying right away so they did not get a chance. We have left it that during daytime when she naps on main floor where we are, she can go on tummy. Nights she sleeps with us for now and cuddled up with me will sleep on side no problem. Thanks for good advice, I will ask her ped.
[ Reply | More ]11.08.11, 08:35 PM Flag
I had two kids with severe colic and wish that I'd ignored all the advice and put them down on their tummies, which was clearly more comfortable for them. Most of the SIDS research, if you read it carefully, identifies clear red flags for SIDS, including co-sleeping, sleeping on sofas/chairs with DB, substance abuse by parents or a combination of the above.
[ Reply | More ]11.09.11, 06:37 AM FlagOP-Well I did it this evening. After nursing, I put her down on her tummy. She has been sleeping like a rock for almost 3 hours. I'm hovering nearby and am still nervous, but after night after night of settling her down to sleep only to have her wake up when I put her down (over and over and over..)She would get so tired and fussy I'd just let her sleep on me. My first night of freedom....at least until we go to bed (still co-sleeping). Thanks for advice all!
[ Reply | More ]11.09.11, 07:37 PM Flag
[+] I suspect people who spank their kids are secretly pedophiles and get some sort of si... 16 replies
- me too! co-sleepers are freaks...
Talk : : November 07, 2011
I suspect people who spank their kids are secretly pedophiles and get some sort of sick sexual pleasure out of it.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.07.11, 09:57 AM Flag ]lol. i spank and cosleep. maybe you should jail me now and save the christmas rush
[ Reply | More ]11.07.11, 10:03 AM Flag-
you forgot people who breast feed.that's why some do it till the kid is 5
[ Reply | More ]11.07.11, 10:10 AM FlagDon't forgot those sickos who change their kid's diapers! Pervs...
[ Reply | More ]11.07.11, 10:13 AM Flag
[+] Is 16 mon too old to sleep train? DH and I have no idea what to do with our dc... 35 replies
- OR: I didn't "believe" in it either. We slept with my parents (probably way too long). DH refused to co-sleep - he was afraid of rolling onto a DB. He wanted to try and I do respect his opinion/ wishes. I told him I wouldn't do it for more than 10 min. I wanted to prove him wrong. DS#1 never cried more than 5 min. We didn't...
Talk : : November 06, 2011
Is 16 mon too old to sleep train? DH and I have no idea what to do with our dc...
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.06.11, 05:56 PM Flag ]Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Children (or something like that ) is a good book I've heard
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:00 PM Flag-
If you're the OP, maybe that's why your kid still can't sleep at a year and a half
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:05 PM FlagOP: I read Weissbluth back when. We did some sleep training a year ago but got thrown off by backsliding/sickness/room sharing with older dc. Right now dc goes to sleep in his crib but wakes around 11pm and comes into our bed for the rest of the night, waking/nursing every couple of hours. I'm so freaking tired.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:08 PM FlagDefinitely no more nursing overnight unless you want cavities being filled at age 3. Question, also- how is he getting out of his crib? If you are lifting him out to bring him with you- easy solution. Stop lifting him out of the crib. Yeah he'll cry for a week but he'll learn, and no he will not be scarred for life. You can still go in and check on him and say "no, you sleep in your own bed now, mommy loves you" and give a kiss every 15 minutes for the first hour, and then ignore after that.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:10 PM Flag-
I never had to get to this point though because I did it at age 5 months :) I was just thinking to what I'd do if I had waited till later. So I can't say I've ever tried it- but it's certainly what I'd do! Don't let your poor baby get nasty cavities. You need anesthesia to get bad cavities filled as a toddler. That will be much more traumatic for you than 5 nights of cry it out! You can do it!
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:20 PM Flagthanks. we did it at 6 mon too but it didn't really stick. biggest problem has been room sharing. db would be fine for a few nights then start screaming at 2am and wake up his older sibling...so we'd wind up bringing him into our room...we just haven't been that consistent (and then at some point kind of gave up).
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:25 PM Flag
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NP: Yes, it IS totally unreadable. Maybe the ideas are good, but it is impossible to find them in that mess. It sounds crazy, but I found the sleep chapter in the Baby 411 book to be the best, and that's what I used (successfully--but I might have just had an easy baby).
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:10 PM Flag
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You don't need a method or a book. Put DC to bed. Lights out (nightlight okay) - close the door. That's it. Buy a Scout as a special treat. $20 and great lullaby music - puts them in a trance.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:09 PM FlagIf OP were able to do this I'm sure she would have. It's obviously a no brainer but some parents just refuse to let their kids cry it out, even at this age. Kind of like how some people just refuse to cut calories and exercise. You know what you have to do- but you just don't want to do it. You want an easy way out. Well, sorry OP- no easy way out! You gotta leave him in his crib and put in some ear plugs.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:12 PM FlagI don't believe that it took me a long time but we did not do cry it out. Both DH and I do not believe in it.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:18 PM FlagHow did you stop bringing DC into your bed then? Didn't he just continue to wake up and want to come sleep with you, or continue to want to feed overnight? How long until he slept through the night?
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:22 PM FlagDH stared by sleeping in the room, then I took over by sitting in a chair and gradually moving it further away from the bed over time. I then spent about 3 weeks on the sofa to catch the 2am run to Mommy and Daddy. This may not be everyone's experience but it worked best for our family.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:37 PM Flag
OR: I didn't "believe" in it either. We slept with my parents (probably way too long). DH refused to co-sleep - he was afraid of rolling onto a DB. He wanted to try and I do respect his opinion/ wishes. I told him I wouldn't do it for more than 10 min. I wanted to prove him wrong. DS#1 never cried more than 5 min. We didn't even have to try w/ #2 - just went in for bedtime w/ his brother. Sometimes "we don't believe in it" is like a picky eater who won't try veggies. You don't know until you try.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:26 PM FlagWow you were super lucky I tried it for about a week every dang on night DB cried for more than an hour eventually DH got upset and took DB out of the crib on the 5th night and said for me to never try CIO again or we are getting a divorce because he can not handle it.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:43 PM Flag
CIO is not even recommended by Ferber. There is way to do it so that it is less traumatic for both parent and child. OP - please read Ferber. His book will help immensely. I sleep trained DS at 14 months. Not ideal, but achieved with Ferber! Good good luck OP!
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:31 PM Flag
No, but if you are not good at CIO you can start out small but w/ longer commitment. Start w/ small changes. No night nursing. Only comfort. Then drop the picking up. Then sooth in the crib. Then don't touch. Just come in and speak softly. Then wait 5 min. and so on. Its up to you, but be consistent. You can't give something up and then go back to it. You'll just cause more crying that way.
[ Reply | More ]11.06.11, 06:31 PM Flag
[+] sorry in advance for the non-gossipy, non-snarky post... Pregnant and trying to figur... 19 replies
- You need very little. DS was born two months early. We had nothing. When we brought him home we had a bassinet (to sleep in our room at the foot of our bed we didn't co-sleep), a car seat and a snap and go, a few onesies and some receiving blankets. We managed just fine....
Talk : : November 04, 2011
sorry in advance for the non-gossipy, non-snarky post... Pregnant and trying to figure out what the hell I need to get in terms of baby gear. Feeling particularly overwhelmed by the whole stroller issue. Any words of advice would be incredibly helpful. Thanks!!
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More11.04.11, 10:37 AM Flag ]Do not buy a stroller ahead of time. Use Snap n Go and carseat for first 3-6mths. It is the most convenient and super cheap. This has 2 big advantages. 1. Gives you time to see what you care about in a stroller. 2. Allows you to buy the strollers that are more lightweight for 6mo+.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 10:47 AM Flagcrib, stroller, changing pad, car seat. Everything else you can buy afterwards. And for a stroller, go to a big store and try on a few. Just go with the one that most fits your needs - if you live in the city, you will need something with larger, sturdy wheels for a lot of walking, and make sure it can be manoeuvred with one hand. Make sure it is not a nightmare to fold it. THat's it. Bugaboo is not all it's cracked up to be, BTW.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 10:48 AM FlagBuy the Baby Bargains book, it's a great guide. As for the stroller, it depends on your lifestyle and where you live. If you live in a city and walk a lot, I highly recommend the Uppa Baby Vista, which include a bassinet and car seat attachment. I know a lot of people like the Snap and Go, but I live in a residential neighborhood with a lot of uneven sidewalks and it just didn't work for me.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 10:51 AM FlagI also live in a residential neighborhood with lots of uneven sidewalks -- I never noticed they were uneven until I went out with a baby in a Snap and Go. And we walk everywhere. But honestly, the kid doesn't seem to care (often sleeps through the bumps), and I'm waiting until 6 mos or so to get a more elaborate stroller.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 11:10 AM Flagditto and ditto. Love my vista. tons of city shopping storage and full recline if db falls asleep in the stroller.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 11:37 AM Flag
If you live in the city, I would get a stroller than can be folded down with one hand. For my 2nd child I went with the super cheap, easily foldable, lightweight umbrella stroller instead of my Maclaren because of the constant commutes on behalf of the 1st child. The irony is that he positively LOVED the lightweight stroller because it represented excursions on public transportation. He disliked the other two larger more comfortable strollers because he knew we weren't getting on a train or bus with those.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 11:10 AM FlagYou need very little. DS was born two months early. We had nothing. When we brought him home we had a bassinet (to sleep in our room at the foot of our bed we didn't co-sleep), a car seat and a snap and go, a few onesies and some receiving blankets. We managed just fine.
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 11:19 AM Flagchanging pad, wipes, diapers (cloth & disposeable), diaper creme, lansinoh, washable breast pads, a couple of bottles w/brush, diaper bag if you want one, some onesies & side snap t shirts and rompers/jammies or sleepsacks, car seat, baby sling or carrier For you: nursing shirts (2 to start, see how you like 'em), comfy pants for at home (yoga pants?), slippers for hospital/home, new camera if you need one, insurance, big pads, frozen meals for early days at home, baby calendar (easier than baby book)
[ Reply | More ]11.04.11, 05:57 PM Flag
[+] Would you ever, under any circumstances, share a bed with an adult sibling of the opp... 23 replies
- nnp: yes why not ? I used to co-sleep as a baby and my kids also sleep in grandparents bed....
Talk : : October 31, 2011
Would you ever, under any circumstances, share a bed with an adult sibling of the opposite sex?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.31.11, 04:05 PM Flag ]totally. i don't see what the big deal is if space is tight.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:09 PM FlagANY circumstance? backpacking through Asia and there's only one bed left in the hostel? death in the family and there's only one bed at a relative's house and it's the only place you can stay? i can see a few scenarios where this is not a big deal.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:10 PM FlagWhen I gave birth to my first child, my brother came to visit b/c my husband was away on business. My brother fell asleep in my bed a few times and he woke up to soothe the baby to give me a few minutes to sleep. I don't find this weird, I was happy for his help.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:12 PM Flagi've shared a bed with my brother and his wife. we were all in our twenties - they are the same age and i'm a year older. when you're broke college students push comes to shove sometimes. you can giggle and be immature about it but then someone's going to be sleeping on the floor. Or you can put on your big girl pants and get over it.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:16 PM Flag-
Yes and have, but my brother is gay, it would be different if he was straight.
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 04:31 PM Flagno way... that is so not appropriate. Would you share a bed with your dad?
[ Reply | More ]10.31.11, 05:40 PM FlagI would if there really was a good reason that we needed to and there was a big enough bed for two adults (Q or larger). I'm close to my brother but not so close that their would be anything weird about it. I think it's weird to sexualize an asexual relationship.
[ Reply | More ]11.01.11, 08:08 AM Flag
[+] I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start p... 4 replies
- Started with the co-sleeper next to my bed, found it easier just to fall asleep with him next to me after bf'ing. Love snuggling with him, but need to make the transition to his crib before he gets too fixed on sleeping with us....
Talk : : October 24, 2011
I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start putting him to bed in his crib in the room he shares with his 2 year-old brother. Problem is, my toddler is a light sleeper and lately pops up and out of bed for any reason. I'm afraid the baby will wake him when he is hungry and I come in to bf. Once he's awake, my toddler kicks up a big fuss about going back to bed, which then wakes up the baby fully -- he's impossible to put back to sleep once he's really awake. Help! I could use some advice or ideas...(what we really need is a bigger apartment!)
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | More10.24.11, 02:24 PM Flag ]What worked for us was a slow transition. We had our son sleeping in our room in a Chicco play yard with the MamaDoo Kids mattress topper. He liked being close to us but became used to sleep independently. We use these items when traveling now too as they are portable and he is used to both. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]10.28.11, 01:29 PM Flag
[+] I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start p...
Talk : : October 24, 2011
I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start putting him to bed in his crib in the room he shares with his 2 year-old brother. Problem is, my toddler is a light sleeper and lately pops up and out of bed for any reason. I'm afraid the baby will wake him when he is hungry and I come in to bf. Once he's awake, my toddler kicks up a big fuss about going back to bed, which then wakes up the baby fully -- he's impossible to put back to sleep once he's really awake. Help! I could use some advice or ideas...(what we really need is a bigger apartment!)
[ Reply | Watch | More10.24.11, 02:24 PM Flag ]
[+] I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start p... 3 replies
Talk : : October 24, 2011
I am currently co-sleeping and breast-feeding my 6 month-old, but am ready to start putting him to bed in his crib in the room he shares with his 2 year-old brother. Problem is, my toddler is a light sleeper and lately pops up and out of bed for any reason. I'm afraid the baby will wake him when he is hungry and I come in to bf. Once he's awake, my toddler kicks up a big fuss about going back to bed, which then wakes up the baby fully -- he's impossible to put back to sleep once he's really awake. Help! I could use some advice or ideas...(what we really need is a bigger apartment!)
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