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UrbanBaby Asks...
Do you 'enjoy' spending time with your kids?
- Yes, most of the time we really have fun together
- Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's really dull and aggravating
- Honestly most of the time it's not fun at all, but it's not supposed to be fun
- I really don't enjoy it at all, and wish I could spend less time with them
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UB Like it's 1776!
Posted September 13, 2007(191 replies)
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[-]What are the best privates (girls or coed) in the DC area? Do they all have the same tuition and what would that be? Are there any really good traditional privates that have lower tuitions? Considering a move and one of the motives would be escaping the 36,000 nyc tuitions. Wondering if and how DC differs in that department. Tia.
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[-]DH is taking a new job in Washington, DC. We need to figure the moving (where?), childcare/nanny (We have a 16-month old daughter) and everything else for the end of Sept. AND I'm 5 weeks pregnant. Any recommendations on part-time childcare options? best neighborhoods to live? I need it to be a lively, "walkable" location. (No big house in suburbs, DH travels a lot and I'm terrified of being in a big house far from everything). TIA
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreNo lively locations, but look at Tenley, AU Park, Cleveland Park, great houses, and near subway.
[ Reply | More ]How safe would you say those areas are? We saw some options in AU Park and Cleveland Park and these houses all had alarm system in place.
[ Reply | More ]I lived in Cleveland Park and while it is NOT Manhattan it was kid-friendly, has handful of good restaurants and is a great, safe neighborhood. If you want an area a little more posh with doorman buildings, look a little further south on Conn. Ave in Woodley Park. Both are great areas, close to zoo, close to Metro, but you'll find driving often more convenient. But that's true of anywhere in DC.
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terrified of what? I'd feel safer in the MD and VA suburbs than in DC. Check out Del Ray in Alexandria. It's very much like a NY neighborhood but without the scary DC parts.
[ Reply | More ]I guess it's only the shock of leaving Manhattan and all the comfort of an apartment in a doorman building. I'm just scared of the whole thing, DC is not safe, I don't want to drive any time I need something...all that. Anyway, we'll check out Del Ray. We were told to check out Rosslyn, any input on that area?
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Do you already have a job setup in DC also? If not, I would put childcare on the backburner until you fine where to live. Might be hard to get a sitter to commit until she knows the location anyway.
[ Reply | More ]I live in DC now and used to live in NYC. I would not recommend moving to the burbs here. It would be a huge culture shock coming from NY. The Capitol Hill area is very walkable and so is Georgetown. If you want more of a residential feel within DC then AU Park, Chevy Chase, Glover Park, and Cleveland Park are all good options.
[ Reply | More ]Anywhere in upper northwest is VERY safe. There really aren't any areas in that compare to NYC in terms of "liveliness"--the closest would probably be Dupont but it's not ideal for families. Some of the suburbs here are closer to downtown than the northwest neighborhoods. I don't know that Del Ray would be ideal for someone who is used to NYC--it has a cute strip with some restaurants but that's about it. It's very close to stripmalls and housing projects.
[ Reply | More ]Continuing from my previous post--Old Town Alexandria is wonderful but the public schools there are no good, and it's not walking distance to a metro. Rosslyn is convenient but has no character at all and is usually pretty dead on weekends. If you want a doorman building in a safe, walkable area near the metro, I think Bethesda or Arlington (particularly Ballston area) would be your best bet.
[ Reply | More ]Oops, I keep hitting return and posting before I'm done. One other thing to think about is this: DC is not like NY. I've lived in both places and they just don't compare. So instead of trying to recreate what feels right in NY, try to be open to the different types of options available here. For example--there are no very high high-rises in DC (as nothing can be built higher than the Washington monument). As a result, doormen aren't common. But consider that you may not even want an apartment. You can get a nice renovated house or rowhouse for $500K, and a REALLY nice one for $800K. I'm talking 3-4 bedrooms, 2-3 baths, parking, and a yard, in a family-friendly, safe, walkable neighborhood with great parks and an active parent network...
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I would pick a neighborhood with good schools so that you won't be forced to move again once your kids are in kindergarten. We live in Bethesda and its wonderful. It's not NYC but it's very walkable - you can walk to restaurants, book stores, movie theatres, bakeries, several gyms/yoga studios, Kidville, etc. You can also walk to the metro from a lot of neighborhoods so you have easy access to the zoo, Smithsonians and everything else in DC. Bethesda is very safe. DC itself is actually really safe now though I understand that a decade ago it had a high crime rate that's really not the case now. I think Cleveland Park & the other Upper Northwest neighborhoods are lovely, as is the Hill, but you are going to stress out about schools onc...
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[-]I've been married 20 years and rarely have sex, maybe once every other month or so, and then, it's very rote and uninspired. Anyone else facing anything similar? Suggestions?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreOP-And I should say that we are both attractive individuals who exercise and take decent care of ourselves. We haven't let ourselves go. Part of me is fine with no sex life with DH because the sex isn't good when it does happen but another part of me wants a better sex life but not sure that is even possible with him. I feel frustrated and stuck.
[ Reply | More ]And even though DH is attractive by conventional standards, I don't feel attracted to him anymore.
[ Reply | More ]this is me, and the worst part is wanting for it to be better but having a high degree of uncertainty that that is possible with DH. I'm mid-40's, I suppose in a few years when menopause hits I won't care anymore
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[-]Hi-- what is the cost of daycare in DC? We are contemplating a move from Manhattan to DC-- what is the monthly cost of a great daycare? (In DC proper and Alexandria, Arlington, etc-- or are those different cost structures?) FWIW, full-time daycare in NYC is approx $2400 per month per child. Many thanks!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreDowntown tends to be more expensive, about the same as NYC unless you can get it through your employer (dh's work has subsidized day care). My friend has a dd in a good daycare downtown and pays $2600, I think). In VA, you can probably pay less, but not sure what the prices are since I don't live there.
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[-]Thinking about a summer vacation in Dewey, Rehobeth, Bethany or Ocean City, MD. Can anyone tell me anything about it? Hotel suggestions too. 2 dds, ages 3 and 7. TIA.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI'd avoid Dewey - it's the least family friendly. Love South Bethany and Rehobeth. Quieter more family oriented. We usually rent a beach house so haven't stayed in a hotel but Sea Colony has condos in both places sort of hotel-ish. My kids LOVE it. Your 7 year old will be able to boogie board there - the waves aren't too bad.
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[-]Any native Washingtonians on??? What's the Sidwell Friends of NYC private schools?
96 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI'm not in DC but somewhat familiar with Sidwell Friends. I don't think there's a direct analogy here since the Friends school in Manhattan is not as prestigious as the one in DC. I'd guess Dalton is the closest and here's my reasoning - very sought-after and hard-to-get-into, high-powered academics, but it's progressive, so it doesn't take the typical traditional approach. It gets people who want the academics and people who want the alternative approach.
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Yes and yes, all of it, everything. I consider Sidwell to be the best school in DC in terms of academics, social consciousness, diversity, etc. Also consider it (relatively) down to earth and not too snobby. Looking for a comparable in NYC.
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Ugh. I am from Washington, the state. If you are from DC, please refer to it as DC, thanks.
[ Reply | More ]I guess it would probably be Dalton. It's hard to compare anything with NY as it's very, very different that anything you would find anywhere else.
[ Reply | More ]LOL. I love it when NYC private parents are convinced the $36k they pay means the school is sooo much better than anything anywhere in the universe.
[ Reply | More ]OP: I know, right?!?! I had to re-read OR's comments to realize she is suggesting NYC schools are "very very" different from schools anywhere else. Not really!
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well, it is. not better, just different. I'm from dc and the privates there are a different world. here, not as much. does that make sense?
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I felt like the kids who went to private school in DC (the big privates, sidwell, holton, ncs) were in a different world than us public kids. here, and maybe this is just because I'm a parent and not a student, I feel like there is much more mixing.
[ Reply | More ]^^and I think that's just because of the proximity that we all live to each other here, not for any reasons of the parents in the different cities.
[ Reply | More ]This has absolutely nothing to do with your original post, which was that Sidwell is similar to Friends, but not really, bc "it's hard to compare anything with NY as it's very, very different that [sic] anything you would find anywhere else." This has absoultely nothing to do with mixing with population of public students.
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Actually, I never said that the school was better, I said that our school system is much different. That has nothing to do with academics, simply the structure of the admission process and reputation (both cultural and academic) of the school. There are many more factors to consider when you want to compare NYC schools to schools anywhere else as parents place a lot more emphasis on non-academic factors, plus the peer group is much different than anywhere else in America.
[ Reply | More ]You are very sheltered if you think the private school dynamics in other major cities are not very similar.
[ Reply | More ]Born and raised in DC and I can tell you that the dynamics between NYC privates and DC privates are different. I don't know why everyone is getting bent out of shape. I never said that NYC schools are better, just different. NYC and LA are both major cities, would you say they are similar in culture? Absolutely not, so how is it hard to imagine that the schools in two major cities may be different?
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OP: OK, back to the topic at hand. Of course cities and schools are different, but anyone else have opinions on the Sidwell of NYC? TIA!
[ Reply | More ]Duh, your question has already been answered. There is no Sidwell of NYC, the schools in DC and NY are far too different from one another. The people are different, so the students are different. This is a city where the majority of people live in apartments, so the socialization between students is different. We also have the whole celebrity (Hollywood et al) factor to contend with and certain schools seem to love celebrity parents. You want a Quaker school in NY, Friends is a possibility, although I heard that they were losing that status. If you want a highly coveted co-ed school, check out Dalton (diverse, the latest "it" school), Trinity (though it's Christian and very Blue Blood) or Horace Mann (though very "Jewish"). There are ma...
[ Reply | More ]np: ITA. OP, what is it about Sidwell that you most desire in a NYC private? From there, we can help you out, otherwise, there really isn't a complete comparison.
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Please go away. No one cares about your stupid school. I did a search for this post and found out that you've posted this exact same question for every major city. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
[ Reply | More ]OP: What are you talking about? You go away! I've only ever asked about schools comparable to Sidwell in NYC, never any other city.
[ Reply | More ]Why don't you do a search. Someone (YOU??) has asked this exact same question but posted it on the L.A., San Francisco and Boston boards. I find it VERY hard to believe that someone else in D.C. would ask this EXACT same question to those other cities.
[ Reply | More ]Here's when you posted the question to LA: "Washingtonians in LA: What's the Sidwell Friends of LA? http://www.urbanbaby.com/talk/posts/51888446
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We have celebrities in D.C. as well. You think NYC is really the center of the universe. D.C. the capital of the U.S.!
[ Reply | More ]Um, the celebrity culture of NY doesn't consist of international and domestic political/media types.
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I'll take Joe Biden and his kids over Bono and his kids any day (and I love Bono). This is school. Not an audition.
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Trinity and HM are very traditional. And not diverse until HS. So, no, nothing like Sidwell.
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OP: Thanks for spelling out the obvious. What's with the "duh"? Not able to think big picture and make comparisons where it might be difficult to do so?
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Dalton is progressive,coed, very academically rigorous, and very hard to get into. Most diverse among "TTs" which matters a lot to a great deal of people. It is more mixed in terms of parent body than Sidwell. Most racially diverse among TTs and also diverse socioeconomically as well within private school scene. ECFS may be similar but the reputation is not as academic as Dalton and they're in the Bronx.
[ Reply | More ]To answer your question, if you love Sidwell Friends, you should look at Fieldston and Dalton. I think Fieldston is closest to Sidwell.
[ Reply | More ]OP here: Thanks for all the responses. In terms of spelling out what I want...I directed my question to Washingtonians precisely because that's hard to do. OF COURSE it's not apples to apples, comparing schools in DC to NYC. My question was for Washingtonians or people who know Sidwell, what NYC school is most comparable. Thanks to those who responded and realize this isn't just about finding a Quaker school!
[ Reply | More ]OR: I will be making the same comparisons later this year as we apply to schools for my dc. I grew up in DC and went to the top ss girls school in DC, and in my opinion the best overall school in terms of academics, diversity and athletics (not hard to figure out which). FWIW Sidwell was a close second for me, and I also looked at gds. In terms of comparing NYC coed schools to the tts in DC. I think Trinity and Dalton are more like sidwell in terms of prestige and education today. And fieldston is more like gds. While trinity and dalton are quite different, I think sidwell has elements of both:progressive yet traditional in terms of academics.
[ Reply | More ]^^^However, it terms of the atmosphere of the schools it's hard to compare because, as you know, growing up in DC you have the best of both worlds: an urban environment with lots of green spaces. So physically, you might consider HM and Fieldston too since they have beautiful campuses.
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np: I grew up in DC and I can say that there really isn't a comparison. There really isn't one school that encompasses all that you would find at Sidwell, the student body is just too different here. What is it that you want from a school? Top academics may be at Horace Mann or Dalton, though that is debatable.
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Dalton is not known for teaching social consciousness. Fieldston may do this more on paper than in reality.
[ Reply | More ]Hi. Native Washingtonian here - if you graduated SFS in '94, you will have known my sisters, they were in classes near you - I went to boarding, but spent a lot of time visiting at SFS. EC & FL both are very Sidwell-like in the intellectual stimulation department. They are willing to take chances on new ideas in academics. Both have people from a variety of cultural and educational backgrounds, which is more Sidwell-like than just going for racial diversity, IMHO. Dalton seems more racially diverse and is more academically competitive than ECFS, and more progressive than Trinity. The outdoors aspect of the hill schools is very appealing and they all make use of their campus resources. We ended up sending our children to HM, but my li...
[ Reply | More ]I went to Fieldston and my husband went to GDS, we have friends who went to all of the schools mentioned here. I would probably liken Sidwell to Dalton or Horace Mann, but less like Fieldston. They are all great schools, but I would say that the diversity is higher at Fieldston/GDS (at least when we went there) and there is less of a focus on sports/SAT scores.
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If you want something like Sidwell Friends in terms of academics, probably Dalton. If you want a Quaker school/values, then Friends Seminary or maybe Brooklyn Friends. Both of those "practice" more Quaker stuff than Sidwell, actually, which is not really very Quaker anymore.
[ Reply | More ]Do not agree. Friends in ny does not "practice" quaker values any more than Dalton or Fieldston etc. They do use it in their marketing tools but day to day no more or less than other schools. have one at Friends and one at another private. Other private actually does a lot more community service and a higher no tolerence to bullying etc.
[ Reply | More ]There is Quaker meeting almost every day, every grade does community service, there are school wide projects, God's Love We Deliver every year, volunteering at the Friends shelter, the HELP dinner, and next week the entire school, staff and kids, will spend a day doing service around the city. There's a full time community service director who coordinates all kinds of things. As a Friends parent, you should know all this. How, specifically, is the other private better?
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[-]We are moving to DC this summer and need to get kids enrolled in school - one for K and one for preschool. What privates are considered to be the best ones in the city (single sex included for older ds), and what is the procedure for applying to privates? Is it likely that there will be any spots at this point? Sorry for the basic questions...don't know anyone in DC.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreThe applications were due this week. Did you get them? The best schools in the city are debatable, but the general list is Beauvoir, Sidwell, Georgetown Day, Maret, Landon, Holton Arms, Potomac, Norwood, Capitol Hill Day School, Sheridan. The Big 3 as they are known are the first three on the list. There are also a bunch of preschools that are very good. Where are you going to live?
[ Reply | More ]Thank you! We literally just found out so no, haven't done anything on the school front. Any suggestions for good neighborhoods? We're from NYC so something with similar vibe and kid friendly, lots of walking involved.
[ Reply | More ]Do you have a price range? I'd recommend Georgetown as urban and kid friendly, close to a lot of great schools. If you're looking for young kids and will live IN DC, you want to check out Beauvoir (K-4), St Patrick's (K-8), Maret (PK-12). Norwood (K-8) and Potomac (K-12) are in the MD and VA burbs but run buses. If your preschooler can do PK, try to place them together. Otherwise look for preschool at St John's, Aidan, and NCRC. Spots are tights everywhere, but letters haven't gone out yet and most ADs will understand if you're relocating.
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[-]Where do you hang out with your toddler? Where do you go to find out what's new? Thanks!, New Here From NY
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A friend just started www.212baby.com, I know she's planning to list events for children.
[ Reply | More ]New York Family Magazine has a weekly list of things going on available online, as does Time Out New York Kids. I mostly hang out at the local playgrounds in my neighborhood, CP Zoo, local library, Children's Museum. I'm not nearby but I understand Madison Square Park has a few scheduled activities for little kids per week. If you give your neighborhood, I'm sure others would be able to offer more specific suggestions.
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[-]Anyone know any kid-friendly attractions/playspaces/museums EASILY accessible by metro in Washington DC? I have a 3 and 5 year old and don't drive...
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seconded! We LOVE the national zoo (the pandas in particular!) and it's right off the red line.
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national building museum has a great toddler playspace and is only two blocks from the metro. also, the american history museum has a kids lab in the basement (though it can get crowded sometimes) and natural history has a kids room (also possibly crowded). the botanical gardens has a children's garden that my kids can spend hours in (all of these are free and metro accessible). i've never been to the postal museum but i've heard that it is also good with kids. also the national geographic museum has a geckos and music exhibit geared at young children (through january). hope this helps.
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[-]Worried about raising twins in a high crime rate area but cant afford to move?
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[-]Are there seriously parents here who won't let take their dcs on public transportation? What on earth is the reason?
54 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI have a friend rom a war torn country (with terrorists) and she will not allow her children to go on the subway in NYC and I COMPLETELY understand why.
[ Reply | More ]Using that logic, anyone who was in a car accident would never let their kids in cars, which is ridiculous. What are you going to do, buy a horse and buggy?
[ Reply | More ]no you are missing the point. I posted below about my experiences living in Tel Aviv for two years. if there was no other option (one lived in a city where there was only a subway and cars were forbidden), then I understand that htey would have to get over their fear/phobia/insecurity/trauma, or else walk everywhere (or take a horse and buggy). but since there is another option - cars, I opt for that. if someone was in a car accident and is scared of cars, and they live in NYC, they can - take the train, walk, take abus, etc. what is the big deal?
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Only weirdos don't. My dc's $$$ private school families all take the subway. Can't be about money.
[ Reply | More ]I have a special needs son. He acts up on public transportation. I end up embarrassed and upset. I take him on the bus and subway only when I absolutely need to-- but I grit my teeth all the way. I'm no weirdo and it kills me inside when people judge my son as such.
[ Reply | More ]While I am thrilled that you posted and shared a viewpoint that might open up a small minded persons world :) I am sorry you have such difficulties! Hang in there mom!
[ Reply | More ]OP: this is the only reason that make sense to me. (Though I am sorry you've been made uncomfortable.) I think the parents here who won't do it have some kind of issue with their dcs mingling with the Great Unwashed.
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no, I dont have an "issue" with my kids "mingling." like I said below, it is probably my own paranoia leftover from living in Israel, where buses got blown up left and right.
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so OP please realize that it is not all "mingling with the masses" hangups! yes, we have a high enough income to live in NYC and own two cars. But that is not at all the reason why I wont take buses!! Alot of times, taking a bus crosstown would be alot easier and quicker. yet Ill still cab it or drive, because I am nuts and probably just a bit traumatized by what I saw living in Israel.
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until a certain age, no I do not. Its not like a "rule," but I try to avoid subways....reasons = A) lived in Tel Aviv for two years and although I know I am probably being just a tad irrational, I myself get a stomachache every time I get on the train. I know you cant prevent things from happening, but I guess i just dont want my nanny on the train with my 2 yr old. ID. and B) since we have a car, and since we can afford to cab other close things, I just feel like why expose my kids to a confined space where someone might sneeze or whatever, for 10 min longer than I have to! yes, they are exposed to those things at malls, airports, etc. but especially when they are babies, I guess I am going over and above in being obsessively ubersafe.
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Eh, their dcs will take the subways themselves in MS/HS when they go to school or have friends in other boroughs. Unless these are the kids who will get the family car and driver to take them places...
[ Reply | More ]exactly. that's the point. the subway is too "rough" for babies and toddlers if it can be avoided. teenagers should be okay, or at least as okay as the rest of us.
[ Reply | More ]Why is the subway too rough for babies and toddler with their parents, if it's OK for teens alone?
[ Reply | More ]The difference is sensory development in babies and very young children. I don't want my very young child exposed to screeching brakes at Union Square or all the germs trapped in a poorly ventilated system. There are rodents and pesticide and garbage. When people get older they have higher levels of resistance to those things. I'm not against cold or fresh air for babies. Just disgusting, toxic city dirt. Teenagers and adults are better able to handle those things.
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sorry, but my DH grew up in NYC having never taken a train. I (the native Californian) had to educate him!!! and my family is much wealthier than his. They do have two cars, which is probably unusual for manhattanites, but are far from wealthy. fact is though, when visiting friends in NJ or Bklyn/Queens growing up, he did drive (or before he had a license, was driven). just like kids who live in any other city.
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Apparently a poster thinks you shouldn't take a one yo out when the temperature drops to 30. Takes all kinds.
[ Reply | More ]i dont like public transportation. too crowded, too much pushing. little kids can get hurt
[ Reply | More ]Oh lord, yes, they exist. My husband's ex went crazy on us for taking their dd on the subway. Called her lawyer, who called my husband, threatened to haul him to court for putting her at risk, etc., etc., and no I am not making this up. I don't think his ex has ever been on the subway.
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I understand the sp needs parent issues, and the ones from war ravaged countries or ones where terror is part of daily life (israel etc), but I don't understand others. My freshman year at Barnard College I roomed with a Birch Wathen grad (this was 1982). She grew up on E 57th St, and had never ridden on the subway until I suggested it one afternoon as the mode of transport downtown. She looked confused, said she had never done that before. I was flabbergasted. When I asked her how on earth she got around NYC her whole life, she answered that her parents had always given her money for taxis. Nice life, if you can have it, but I still vote in favor of living in the real world, if possible, sometimes. Even JFK Jr hopped on the subway once in...
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