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[-]I am having my 3rd boy. I am MISERABLE. Yes, I am glad it is healthy and I love my sons, but the whole point of my 3rd try was to get a girl. We did the how to choose the sex of your baby to the letter, with no luck. I am so sad I will never have a daughter. Number 3 is the absolute limit and we wouldn't have even tried if #2 had been a girl. I am venting anonymously because I would never voice these feelings to anyone. But, I am so upset and sad and I hate it that everywhere I go, I see these adorable little girls with the long hair and pigtails and pink, glittery clothes. I walked by the American Girl store yesterday and started crying because I will never have a daughter to take there. I will never buy a bikini or take my daught...
89 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreFirst of all, I think you will most definitely love your third son just as much as you love your first two sons. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your vision-of-a-daughter (which is idealized and probably wouldn't match the reality -- you'd probably end up with a die-hard tomboy who refused to wear pink and wanted her brothers' hand-me-downs!). I think a LOT of people in your situation (or with the gender reversed) feel the same but are ashamed to admit it publicly. Be thankful for ultrasounds and genetic testing so you can experience your disappointment now and not in the delivery room; by the time your baby is born, you will probably be in a much different frame of mind.
[ Reply | More ]I'm sorry, but consider yourself lucky that you'll never have to go to the AG store ...
[ Reply | More ]Why didn't you adopt a girl if you knew you would be so disappointed with a boy? And ps, take a look at the thread right above yours.
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Jesus Christ, people, give the poor woman a break. OF COURSE she's happy to be having a healthy child. Next time you want to complain think of all the women suffering in Afghanistan and shut your mouth.
[ Reply | More ]Exactly. I don't understand why people judge this (and other) women for being disappointed in something. It's all about perspective. I'm sure the same women who are judging complain about things that 90% of the world outside of NYC would be super grateful for. Stop being bitches.
[ Reply | More ]I roll my eyes when someone complains about something that they 100% brought on themselves, knowing full well the consequences- sorry. And trying for a third and hoping it's a girl and then being "MISERABLE" that it's a boy? That's an eye roll right there, sorry. Especially since she said she wouldn't have even TRIED if she knew it was going to be a boy.
[ Reply | More ]It's just disappointment, calm down. I roll my eyes when I hear people going about G&T schools, designer clothes, annoying DHs, obnoxious DCs, etc, but I still realize it's all about perspective. I'm sure OP realizes that she is luckier than 99.9% of the world, but she's still allowed to vent.
[ Reply | More ]The fact that someone puts themselves in a situation doesn't change the emotionality of the situation itself. Sure she "put herself here" by getting pregnant, but she wanted a girl and got a boy. He fault or not the disappointment is the same, and an anonymous message board is a perfectly fine place to vent that. Keeping your feelings pent up simply because the situation is your fault is no more healthy than in any other situation.
[ Reply | More ]omg.. the amount of crap i read on here every single day, you really think it's going to change your kids life if he doesn't get into whichever school? and yet she can't be disappointed? she's pregnant, hormonal, hell, i feel miserable every single day and I don't know or care what I'm having. get over yourself. I roll my eyes at you.
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I'm sorry, and I can relate. I miscarried my girl, and I feel exactly as you are describing. I know you said you are not open to a 4th, but there is technology that can help should you change your mind. New Hope Fertility Center has a clinic in Mexico that will do Microsort (with IUI). We are considering it as well.
[ Reply | More ]Seriously, people, this is getting to be ridiculous and beyond selfish. If you are so desperate for a girl, why not adopt her instead of engineering her?
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People do IVF because of a medical condition. Engineering your dd is a preference (and apparently doesn't always work, given that article below), and just, to me, seems so...excessive. That, and I've spent time with orphans and kids in developing countries so I'm really sensitive to the issue.
[ Reply | More ]It's nobody's *right* to conceive their own child. Wealthier people who can afford to do so look to technology to help them conceive even though they are likely not meant to. IVF uses technologies that determine the health of the embryo before implanting it. Is that wrong as well?
[ Reply | More ]This is really not worth arguing about. If you must know, I'm not wild about IVF & I spend quite a bit of time researching and advocating for adoption (for both fertile and infertile couples).
[ Reply | More ]Adoption is also for the wealthy. Why don't you advocate to make adoption less expensive and less bureaucratic? Some people would prefer to have an infant rather than to deal with the bureaucracy of adoption, which does not seem to have the best interest of the child in mind.
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Have you ever read the NY Times Magazine Essay "Be Careful What You Wish For"? It's about a woman with 3 boys who like you really wants a girl and she debates doing the sperm spinning thing to have a girl, but is on the fence bc she really didn't want 4 kids. In the end, she does it, and it's like 99.9999% successful for a girl (less so if you want a boy). At her ultrasound, she finds out she
[ Reply | More ]^^^ she's having twins - BOYS. So now she has 5 boys. POsitive outlook: Plan on being a really great MIL/boyfriend's mother :) And one day you'll likely get a granddaughter to spoil rotten and whom you will not have to parent through those horrid adolescent years where she screams "I hate you mom" and slams her door 10x/day.
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althought apparently, it was not called "be careful what you wish for..." i was pregnant when i read it, so i plead faulty pregnancy memory ;) http://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/02/magazine/lives-surprise-delivery.html?scp=49&sq=sperm+and+twins&st=nyt
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"the whole point of my 3rd try was to get a girl" - you did realize that this is not an exact science, right? i would be upset in your situation, a little bit, but i would have braced myself before i went ahead and tried that i might get a boy, and would vow to love him no matter what.
[ Reply | More ]ITA. What a bad reason to bring another child into the world. You should have a 3rd because you want a 3rd, and it seriously drives me crazy when people talk about "trying for" a specific gender. Um, you guys know how this works, right? And that you have very little control over how it turns out?
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Mourn the loss of the daughter you won't have (at least not right now-- you never know what the future holds), but honestly? You can't choose the sex of your baby without some serious interventions, and I'm sure you knew this going into it... did you know how miserable you'd be finding out you were having a boy? If so, I can't understand why you would have even tried. That being said, you will be laughing at everyone with daughters once the teen years roll around. Plus, even into adulthood, I've read that the mother-daughter relationship is the most strained, typically, of any other child-parent relation (mom-son, dad-son, dad-daughter are all less strained).
[ Reply | More ]it must be horrible to be you. seriously, i would never want to be you. of all the problems in the world, yours is definitely the worst. oh how i pity you. oh how i am so glad that i am not you.
[ Reply | More ]Do you only feel down about a problem if it qualifies as the worst thing in the world? In other words: have you never felt disappointed by anything ever?
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Well, why can't she feel miserable at the initial discovery that she will never have a girl. That is a major thing to come to terms with if you are someone who has always wanted one. Regardless of all the things that could be said of adoption, not getting pregnant under these conditions, etc. the point is it's hard to accept this reality for her. If I were to learn that FOR SURE I would never have a girl I would be pretty devastated at first myself. Doesn't mean she's going to spend the rest of her life in misery. People think about their future, and envision the things they want to do with their future children. To find that many of things she's always wanted to do will never happen is like any loss. You are perfectly reasonable to mourn f...
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Since we're voicing feelings we're not supposed to - I love my 8 y/o DD to pieces and I am happy to have a girl, but she is SO MUCH more of a PITA than my DSs. She is high-maintenance, dramatic, emotional and difficult. My DSs are sweet, low-maintenance, loving and easy going. (And the American Girl store one of the outer rings of hell.)
[ Reply | More ]Why does everyone hate AG so much. I thought it was really fun to go there. I don't like the modern girls but I LOVE all of the historical ones!
[ Reply | More ]I have 3 boys and I love them, but they are total animals. The third was the attempt at the girl; I get sad too, but not sad enough to have a fourth (which would probably be a boy anyways). I even met with a fertility doctor, and he said short of doing IVF with PGD testing at day five to determine gender, there is nothing that science is permitted to do (sperm sorting under FDA review right now).
[ Reply | More ]I always say that having children is a crapshoot. I suffered a few miscarriages after IVF and finally adopted a wonderful and healthy baby girl. I would have loved to have another child, but there just wasn't enough time, money or energy for another. Looking back, I would not change one thing about my life.
[ Reply | More ]Hi there UB. I also have 2 boys and I'm expecting a 3rd. But I am not OP, and dh and I are delighted. We were NOT trying for either sex, so please stop making loud assumptions that we had a 3rd in a failed attempt to have a dd. Every day, people express their sympathy for us, and seem to think we're FOS when we truthfully say we're thrilled to have a 3rd healthy boy. Especially, please please stop saying "You must have wanted a girl" in front of our 2 much wanted sons, who completely understand what you're saying. So when you see a pg lady w/2 boys on the street, you have an = chance that you're talking to me or OP. Thank you.
[ Reply | More ]ita. I had one boy and when I was pg with second the number of people whose said "Of course you want one of each" and "So will you try again?" (when I told them it was another boy) and even "I'm so sorry"!!!!! was unbelievable. Why would anybody be sorry that I was having a beautiful, healthy, darling baby boy? THAT made me crazy more than anything. People are jerks. They want everything, and assume such nonsense. Anyway, OP, I wanted to say that although I once dreamt of a girl (because I so adored the mom/daughter relationship I had with my mom) I completely, entirely, wholly let it go. WE do not get everything we want in life, but if you get 3 healthy loving boys, that is a lot. My 2nd son has charmed and delighted me and added t...
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Rent all the episodes of MY 3 SONS, invite your sister over, have a weep-fest and then tell yourself how fun this is going to be. Plan to have the most fun boy home with all kinds of fun boy world things and make it cool. No, you will likely not be taking your sons to get facials (although you never know), but you can have a cool time with a little fellow. I take my little boy to tea at the Plaza and our for special chocolate days and shopping for costumes and craft days and he is the most hilarious and fun little character.
[ Reply | More ]My aunt had four brothers. Then she had two sons. Now she has four grandsons. Poor woman! She's taken it all in stride though, and I'm sure you will too.
[ Reply | More ]This is so sad, because your poor boy is going to grow up knowing he was a mistake in your mind unless you get it together. You knew you had a 50/50 chance of having a boy on your third, so it's really irresponsible to try again if you solely wanted a girl and would be this upset with a boy.
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If you wanted a girl that badly, you should have adopted one!! I have two DD's and won't consider having another child-- I'm not interested in 3 girls and the possibility of having another girl is likely. I sometimes think about adopting a little boy-- a foster child (and maybe skipping the baby years). I haven't seriously considered it, though.
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my MIL was in your shoes...third and last child was a boy so she never got her girl. but now, all those years later, it made her an awesome MIL. Her 3 DILs are like daughters. She buys us clothes, takes us out, and we appreciate her tremendously. Also, I can tell you she loves son #3 completely and so will you.
[ Reply | More ]OP, I think lots of people feel this way. I can understand your disappointment. I would focus on the bright side: families with lots of boys can be lively, fun, active homes! Enjoy your three sons. The important thing is not the gender but the emotional connection--you can have that with your DSs, too.
[ Reply | More ]I had a friend who was one of five brothers and they were all animals and their mom was always the best - someone who would've been great with a daughter. Anyway, they are all married now to awesome girls and three of them had their 1st child - all three girls! This mom is finally getting her due!
[ Reply | More ]You know maybe she didn't feel she needed "her due." Some of us love having boys. And I know a few families where the moms and their sons are incredibly close while the moms and their daughters do not get along at all. I had one of the greatest moms in all the world ever, and she had girls, and I sometimes wish she had had a boy because a boy would have been devoted to her and she deserved that. we girls were devoted, but a little moody and bitchy and took our mom for granted because we are girls. Boys are more purely sweet and doting to their moms, from what I have seen. We doted on our dad even though in fact my mom was my best friend and the one I needed most and turned to every day.
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OP, though I am not in your situation, I do understand how you feel. It's not that you don't/won't love your baby boy. Of course you do, it's more that you are sorry that you will miss out on things that come with having a daughter, but there are also things that come with daughters that you'll be more than happy to miss out on. I think it's better to acknowledge feelings in order to be able to get past them. Congratulations on your family!
[ Reply | More ]I understand you are disappointed but having a third child only because you wanted a girl is never a good idea when your odds are 50/50. No one has everything in life, which sucks, but that is how it is. I have one boy and was expecting twin boys and was so excited to have my 3 boys and now I will only be having 2. Please remember when you are feeling down that there are so many people who would kill to have what you have. . . .
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[-]Dr. Wapner at Columbia for an amnio? Lots of feedback would be appreciated! TIA!
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[-]Any thoughts on the MaterniT21 blood test, offered in NJ? It checks for DS, but can only be taken with a "prescription" from a NJ doctor.....
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreThis test was just launched in October of this year. It is available to whomever wants to pay for it, so not sure why you think it has to be a NJ doctor. Unless of course the company has yet to finalize their NY licensure (NY requires special licensure for laboratories that other states do not) and therefore cannot be ordered by a NY doctor at this time. This test is still a risk assessment tool (and only for Down syndrome). It has both a false positive and a false negative rate. The company is sEquenome. There is more info on their website. If you want 100% yes or no answer you'll have to have a chromosome analysis by amnio or CVS. If you're comfortable with risk assessment (and a lab that just opened 6wks ago) then MaterniT21 may b...
[ Reply | More ]Insurance picks up most of it, but only with a script from a NJ doctor that I take to the NJ lab.
[ Reply | More ]It doesn't matter if insurance covers it or not unless you understand the information that you get from the test. It is again a risk assessment. The only way to know for certain re: Downs syndrome is chromosome analysis (or prenatal microarray). If you're comfortable with risk assessment it may be a reasonable test (although again, the test is brand new and I don't think the lab has a history of doing clinical diagnosis). If you're conisdering it you should talk to a genetic counselor, not your OB.
[ Reply | More ]"risk assessment" is probably the wrong term. Just want to clarify that I mean this test has a false positive rate as well as a false negative rate. Please be advised of it's limitations.
[ Reply | More ]you made a comment about why I think it has to be a NJ doctor and I explained why. the only way I will do it is if insurance covers it, but thanks for giving your advice re: the test itself.
[ Reply | More ]I think you really need to research this test more before you make a decision. Insurance coverage should be a factor perhaps but the not primary in prenatal genetic testing decisions. also think you have some things mixed up, just because your insurance only covers it if it is ordered by a NJ doctor doesn't mean that this is true for everyoen. Everyone's health care policy is differrnt.
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that isn't an insurance rule, it is what the company itself clarified to me on a few occassions. Since NJ is permitted to offer it, a NJ doctor must prescribe it! SO, I do know what I am talking about.
[ Reply | More ]You are missing my point. Figure out what information the test gives you and whether or not you want that information and will be satisfied with that information. THEN decide if it is worth it to you based on the cost/insurance coverage. Geez. You're a difficult persont o deal with. You asked for opinons on the TEST not on the payment plan. You're not even intersted in what the etst is all about, just arguing about insurance and coverage. You're a pill. I was just trying to help you. Truly, you're a pill.
[ Reply | More ]Frankly you don't know what you're talking about. The test is availabe in 20metropolitan areas int eh US. Other people can have the test done, but obviously the doctor ordering has to be licesnced int he state where he/she is practicine. NYCity must not be one of the avialable areas (most likely due to weird NYState licensing rules for genetic testing) but NJ is. so the doctor ordering it has to be licensed in NJ. However, I can get the test here in Chicago and my friend had it done last week in CA. Insurance can cover it or not cover it as they see fit. EVERYONE's insurance plan is different.
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[-]I’m 30 and pregnant with our first. Was always anxious about Down, saw a family struggling with this and know that we would terminate if we knew. Struggling to decide whether or not to do amnio, got NT test and they looked great but still feel like we want to know 100% but on the other hand terrified on miscarriage :( would go to top doctor in NYC but still there is a chance. Any advice ladies???
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreGet the amnio. Risk of miscarriage is extremely low. Will they do that for you at 30 for no good reason?
[ Reply | More ]Get the amnio from an excellent doctor who is specialized in this. de minimus miscarriage risk if that's the case. I was you--a bit older--but 33. Great numbers. Knew I would terminate an amnio child no matter what. I think that's the answer. Age/odds/statisitics are irrelevant if you live in a major metro area with access to a great amnio doc. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]The miscarriage rate is actually pretty miniscule if you control for the conditions that motivated the amnio in the first place. That is, many women get the amnios because the pregnancy is already problematic, so it's not surprising that they have a higher rate of miscarriage after. If your baby is healthy your rate should be very low.
[ Reply | More ]I felt the same and had a CVS both time - best thing I ever did, the piece of mind was what I needed. Plus, you get information on ANY genetic issue (rarer ones, CF, etc.) so you know everything. Get the amnio.
[ Reply | More ]This is not true. You DO NOT get information on "ANY genetic issue (rarer ones, CF, etc)" from a having a routine chromosome analysis from CVS tissue. Please do not spread false information. A routine chromosome analysis from CVS tissue (what most people refer to as "CVS") will give you chromosome count and basic structual information about the chromosomes. It will not tell you about other genetic disorders that are not due to either numerical chromosome abnroamlities or large sturcturla chromosomes abnormalities. Please discuss the utility of the test with you physician not with UBers. Signed Geneticist Mom
[ Reply | More ]Is it true though that you have to be a carrier for one of those abnormalities to occur?
[ Reply | More ]Not sure what you meant by "one of those abnormalities" but I'll give it a shot. There are a number of rare genetic disorders which your baby/fetus has a 25% chance of having if both you and your DH are "carriers". These disorders are absolutley NOT tested for by a routine "CVS". There are also a number of rare genetics disorders that you baby/fetus can have, but neither parent needs to be a "carrier". These include numerical chromosome abnormalities, large structural chromosome abnormalities and small structural chromosome abnormalities. The CVS test will test for the first two (numerical and large) but not the small abnormalities. This of course is a simplification of the complexities of genetic abnormalities, but hope helps you a...
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[-]FUNNY PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS!?! I'm 16 weeks pregnant and am having all kinds of side effects. A long hair on my chin, sudden dandruff, difficulty shaving my legs. Did you guys have bizarre things like this, too? I hope I'm not the only one!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreyou only have one long hair on your chin and just now???? Lucky! I get these weird things all the time, the plucking is outrageous!
[ Reply | More ]funny-- because I have opposite of what I expected re: hair growth. My hair medium brown hair is turning blond. And I haven't shaved legs in two months. Very odd, but I'll take it-- I dealt with horrendous m/s and other complications so I earned *some* good 'symptom'!
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Dr. Owen Davis at Cornell (most all of the Cornell doctors are amazing, but I felt Dr. Davis was truly extraordinary).
[ Reply | More ]ITA he has "the touch" i got pregnant naturally after going to see him, after being told by another re that i would NEVER get pregnant, not even thru ivf.
[ Reply | More ]I read your post concerning Davis and helping you get preg. Could you email me at ally26@aol.com so I could ask you some q's? I 've also seen him once.
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i had spandorfer and would not recommend and cannot speak for all the docs at cornell but it's like cattle going through the clinic. i felt like just a number. he doesn't explain anything to me and if i ask a question, he gets defensive and doesn't explain anything except to say "it's your age! old eggs". note: i just tried iui a few times and unsuccessfully, not ivf yet and not likely with him. there were visits when he didn't even say "hi, how r u". finally, i should have known something was not right when he gave me a breast exam at my first appt. how does that relate to infertility??? moving on...
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I've worked with RMA (Sinai), Roosevelt and Columbia. Columbia was HANDS DOWN the best.
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Group associated with Mt. Sinai. I know a number of people who've gotten pregnant with them, and as of last year, their numbers were even better than Cornell's...
[ Reply | More ]Reproductive Medical Associates. Mt. Sinai. Very good, bit of a factory feel, but all of them are. I see Alan Copperman, who I really love to the point of crush hood. We've done 4 cycles with them, one ds, one mc, one blank. I'm 40 and will be giving them one more try. Have thought about switching to Cornell, but not sure it's worth it or would make a lick of difference.
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Really? I thought Columbia was disorganized. I liked the doctors but the support staff seemed clueless. I would not have gone there except that they take my insurance. For someone who is self-funding (ie not insurance) I would recommend Cornell or NYU.
[ Reply | More ]Anyone knows the best stats of RMA,Columbia,Cornell/NYU? I met terrable staff at Columbia..(doctors seem nice,though)Or anyone knows the best Dr at columbia?I wonder if I should continue at Columbia...
[ Reply | More ]www.sart.org. This gives all stats. But beware. The better clinincs (cornell&nyu but especially cornell) success rates tend to be understated because they get and take the tougher cases- women who due to their multiple failures elsewhere have lower odds of getting pregnant. Some of the clinics with really high success rates screen out patients early on to avoid a drop in their success rates.
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Steven Spandorfer Cornell. Agree 100% with above poster. I went to him to get pg w #1 and #2. Not only is he one of the top fertility drs he has an amazing bedside manner. He is easy to talk to and you can tell he really cares. My dh and I both felt so comfortable with him. I can not speak highly enough about him.
[ Reply | More ]I went to a RSofNY in Brooklyn and they have screwed up my system. I was incredibly regular, a 28 day cycle and ovulated always on the 12th day. It has now been 40 days since my last period and I've called the office numerous time to ask what I should do, no reply. I have appointments at the following, Dr Chung at Cornell - Dr Grundfeld at RMA and Dr Park at Columbia. Can anyone tell me if they have any experience with any of these doctors? It's not just trying to get pregnant, it's also the stress of finding the right doctor and receiving the best care - ugh
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[-]Expectant moms...I am only a few days late, but I noticed a light brown discarge a couple days ago. Did anyone else notice the same very early into your pregnancy? TIA...
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Dr. Eric Diamond was great! Baby didn't cry. He arrived an hour early to set up and even called us the next day. We were very pleased with him. We have heard horror stories about other circumcisions from friends so we made sure to get a MOHEL who is also a UROLOGIST. We were very happy with him.
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a happy customer, not dr. d. He just did my sons bris and wouldnt take a dime from us because my husband just lost his job. thought it was the least I could do since im up all night with a baby anyway. was very happy with him, and so was my sister who used him last year for my nephews bris.
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We used Dr.Jeffrey Mazlin, a New York OB/GYN Reform Mohel. We also used him again for our second son! We couldn't be happier! His website is www.NYMohelMD.com.
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[-]39 weeks and the baby is predicted to be over 9 pounds at birth (based on multiple scans and stomach size). My Doctors are recommending a c-section at 40 weeks (or about 3 days before I am due). I don't want to risk baby getting stuck, having shoulder issues etc. but also don't want to "jump the gun" in what's sometimes c-section happy nyc. My ultrasounds were done with Eddleman/Stone - anyone found the weights quoted accurate or significantly under? Any advice?
58 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreI had weekly sonograms for low fluid issue and then due to gestational diabetes (to watch for
[ Reply | More ]for big baby syndrome). Last sonogram said that dd was 7lbs. Birth weight ...5 lbs 12 oz. Was shocked and then was told that sonograms could be plus or minus a pound. I'm not suggesting you don't follow your doc's advice (had a friend who had your reco, she pushed for vaginal and pushed and pushed and wound up with an emergency c), but just thought you know that the weight is not accurate all the time.
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Those scans are often way off. Is this your first? If I were you, I'd be OK with being induced a little early but would try to have the baby vaginally. I gave birth to a ten pounder and one close to 10 pounds, and both births were vaginal and went fine. If you fail to progress, they'll do a c-section anyway. By the way, my scans indicated both my babies would be 6.5 to 7 pounds. Also, the birth weight often correlates to the mother's birth weight. If you were a big baby, chances are better that you'll also have a big baby. Good luck!!!
[ Reply | More ]Yes, I have found the ultrasounds weights to always be inaccurate. My babies were sometimes bigger than anticipated and sometimes smaller than anticipated.
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Hm, would they maybe induce you now vs. scheduling a C? I am not sure about this but I did give birth vaginally to a 9 lb 2 oz baby (he was measuring at about 8 lbs?) and it was totally fine (um, with an epidural). Recovery also fine, but he was my 2nd and 1st was 6 lbs and change....
[ Reply | More ]It depends. My OBs both were surprised at the US measurement, but in palpitating my abdomen felt that the baby would be big (both times). Just over 9+ lbs both times. I was told that if you are a taller/bigger woman and you measure big, that it is more likely that the baby will be big, versus a smaller woman.
[ Reply | More ]Why not try to labor on your own? If baby doesn't come out you do a section. At least you will have tried. You may regret if you don't, especially if the baby turns out to be smaller than measured on the us.
[ Reply | More ]NR. emergency c-sections are worse than planned ones, based on everything I've read. but I could be wrong.
[ Reply | More ]OB RN mom here. You should def try to labor. Sonos are a really inaccurate way to estimate fetal weight. Most MD's aren't super skilled at estimating by feel either. Midwives are much better at it because they don't rely on sonos. Unless you're diabetic, there's no reason you would grow a baby that is "too big" to push out. Also, even if you ended up with a c-section after a trial of labor, it would likely not be an emergency c-section. People use that term much too loosely. Trust your body's ability to birth vaginally. You'll be fine.
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That sounds crazy to try to schedule a c/s just for size as opposed to inducing. With my first my dr tried to do that bc she was measuring large and I'm pretty thin but I said no way and dd was born 9 lbs 10oz. I did have to have an episiotomy and tore but it's better than an induction or c/s and I did it with no drugs. This time (36 wks) my new doc is estimating at least 10 pounds with ds but does not suggest a c/s. She is willing to induce a week early (which I don't want) but I don't get why any dr wouldn't at least let a woman try to birth naturally and only turn to c/s if medically necessary.
[ Reply | More ]I agree with other posters in that ultrasounds can be inaccurated--I've known them to be off by 2 lbs (over, not under) and also a 9lb baby does not mean a csection! I've had three babies over 9 lbs--one nearly 10 lbs--and they were surprisingly easy deliveries. And I am not a big woman, I have small hips, etc. I know that it might not be the case for you, but don't assume that just b/c a baby is big doesn't mean it can't come out the normal way. Drs recommend csecs in these cases b/c they don't want to be liable, which is understandable, but do consider all your options.
[ Reply | More ]I heard this from my midwife(without the c-section part).That baby was gorgeous, just under 7lbs and the placenta was supersized. I don't know how much I believe projected birth weight estimates, even with imaging; every womb is its own Universe.
[ Reply | More ]Get the c-section. At 40 weeks I was ENORMOUS and they predicted a 9+lber. The baby was, in fact, 8lbs 7oz. A scheduled C was a great decision.
[ Reply | More ]The guess weights are notoriously inaccurate, and they usually err on the larger side (baby is usually much less heavy than predicted). I think it's strange that your doctors are recommending a C-section solely because they *think* that the baby *might* be over 9 pounds. Assuming that that is their only reason, I would just wait for labor to begin naturally.
[ Reply | More ]I delivered an 8 lb, 11 oz baby without knowing the size ahead of time - it was my second, but my dr. never offered or recommended an ultrasound after the 20 week scan (no other problems). I didn't know this was routine?
[ Reply | More ]The baby has consistently been at least a pound above average (and around 88-90% percentile) through all of my ultrasounds. I don't think its usual to keep doing them but in my case recommended to see if things have changed. They didn't - the baby keeps getting bigger :) but concerned that if something has been throwing it off (amniotic fluid or something) that would stay consistent anyway. Anyway thanks for all the responses. I think I might try and postpone the scheduled C a bit longer and see what happens. Anyone happy the DID do it?
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Eddleman accurately predicted my babies would be 9+--I in fact had 10.3 and 10.7 babies on my due date. You will know by the size of you how big that baby is--have the doctor do a fundal mesurement as well.
[ Reply | More ]Are you a small person? I deliverd by 9.7 lb baby vaginally with no problems but I'm tall.
[ Reply | More ]Tough call. I was in the same position--39 weeks, type 1 diabetes and a very tall DH--db was est. at 8.5 lbs so they wanted to induce or C-section because of possible big shoulders. Long story short, we ended up inducing and having a pretty wonderful, not too difficult vag. birth with no complications--DB was 10 lbs! But I'd talk through all of these concerns with your OBs and go through the pros and cons. Good luck!
[ Reply | More ]My friend just delivered at 10 lb baby. They estimated it at 9 lbs. While the kid weighed 10 lbs she didn't have a particularly large head and my friend was actually shocked to learn the weight since she delivered her naturally, no drugs, no interventions. Just let nature and millions of years of evolution do it's thing. If anything goes awry, that's what your doctor is there for. Both my dc's were natural births and were the most empowering, wonderful experiences of my life.
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[-]If you have a DD and a DS - were your pregnancies totally different or relatively similar?
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[-]Pregnant Moms - did you start feeling pregnancy symptoms way early the second time? And which ones? The first time I didn't feel like I was pregnant at all until about a week after I found out. Now I feel naseated and bloated, but my period isn't due for a few days so I think I'd be testing too early. Any thoughts?
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[-]I am due in May and wondering what stroller to get for city life. We don't have a car so I don;t know if we need a bulky snap and go but want something that is not too expensive but safe and good that can cater to a newborn and then grow with the child. Any suggestions?
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[-]Single mom planning on welcoming home adopted newborn next year. Stay with full-time corporate gig w/great benefits or go freelance for more $$ and flexibility? Thanks in advance!1 reply
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[-]I knew that caring for a baby would be hard, but I just didn’t know how hard until we actually had one. Breastfeeding was supposed to be this natural bonding experience between mother and child, and all these books I’d read seemed to imply that if I just followed a simple schedule of events, my baby would naturally start sleeping through the night at a very early age. Not so, definitely not so. Breastfeeding can be very overwhelming, and there’s nothing simple about following a routine when you haven’t slept more than a 2-3 hour stretch in weeks. My baby nurse came to the rescue, and in just a few short weeks both saved my sanity and helped my son (who was waking up 4-5 times a night) start sleeping longer stretches (waking up only ...
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | MoreIf you need a baby nurse you shouldn't have had a baby. Being a parent is hard when you are doing it right.
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eh. ignore the troll up above. My baby nurse helped me understand how to help DB sleep through the night also. I hired her actually when DB was three months old bc I had to go back to work. She was great, super patient, would take DB after I breastfeed and put him back to sleep, allowing me to breastfeed AND work 12 hr days productively. DB started STTN by month 5 thanks to her. it was bliss! no CIO ever
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Nobody needs a baby nurse. It's wonderful if you can afford it- but it's not a necessity. Billions of women do it with no help.
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I don't know why people are being so harsh. If you can afford a baby nurse and you want one, go for it. There's no right way to do it. I have also found having a newborn unbelievably difficult (she is now 11 weeks), and breastfeeding too. I think you have to do whatever it takes to make it through the first few weeks. For me, it was relying heavily on family. For others it's a baby nurse. To each her own.
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[-]Just found out that I am having twins (IVF), and am terrified of an excessively premature delivery. My RE was Spandorfer at Cornell, and would like to deliver at Cornell because of the things I've heard about their NICU. Any suggestions on the best Cornell OB for twins?
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