There is a saying in Skyrim, of ancient and celebrated origin: "Who in their right mind would live in a country as sodding inhospitable this one, with its desolate mountains, its treacherous forests, its miserable rain squalls and ball-cracking blizzards, and its bastard, bastard dragons, forever flapping down and eating honest folk just when you thought it was safe to go hoe the potatoes?"
Part 1 and Part 2 of our Elder Scrolls 5 hands-on series. Stop over here for an interview with lead artist Matt Carofano.
Even now - five long days and nights after the conclusion of my Skyrim hands-on - the Nord still whisper of the Argonian's baseless malice, her unquenchable bloodthirst. They speak, in tones thicker with dread than Horlicks is with delicious malty lumps, of The (Almost-)Torching of Riverwood. The Vexation of Solitude. The Torment of Dawnstar('s Walrus Population). But as Margaret Thatcher well knew, all mindless rampages have to end someday. Join me for the third, final and most tragic part of the vilest Skyrim hands-on ever.
Back to the borderlands
Toxic had striven mightily for the cause of evil, waylaying and torching wherever she went, but there remained much ground to cover: a mere four of Skyrim's main settlements had felt her rage. Accordingly, I left the wreck of the Brinehammer with a sense of urgency that had only a little to do with the crabs snapping petulantly at my heels. Flipping open the map screen, I fast-travelled back to Whiterun, handed my by-now several-times-resurrected cart driver acquaintance another 20 gold, and set out across the lands to Falkreath.
I was expecting improved weather in Falkreath, located as it is on Skyrim's southern border with sunny Cyrodiil, staging ground for The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion. Nothing tropical, mind, just a bit of carefree blue sky. What I got was a moonless night and drizzle. The kind of drizzle that sets in just before you jump off an office block, clutching a life insurance policy. It dampened Toxic's spirits, so much so that when a passing guard sarkily asked her whether somebody had "stolen her sweetroll", she let him off with only a mild axing to the face. Fortunately, there were no witnesses to the deed, and my crime went unnoted in the region's invisible lawbooks. An opportunity to dig a little deeper than Toxic's impulsive guard-axing tendencies normally allowed? I embraced it with both arms.
12 comments so far...
caelandrake on 19 Oct '11 said:
Toxic was an absolute legend, thanks for the funniest preview I have ever read in gaming history.
mileschambers1 on 19 Oct '11 said:
Yeah, this was one hilarious preview, proper funny stuff!!
joelquirk on 20 Oct '11 said:
Please use this in a feature once the full game is out! i'd love to here what absolute disaster Toxic makes of the full game!
pauloselhombre on 20 Oct '11 said:
Very entertaining hands-on, very enjoyable indeed.
I have a question, if you would be so kind (although I understand of course that you may well be way too busy to answer) - As much as I loved Oblivion, I'm one of those people who found it lacked that magic feeling of exploring Morrowind, mainly due to Morrowind's more varied locale, ability to stumble into situations that put you way out of your depth, not to mention the weird and wonderful fauna such as the guars or the Bull and Betty netches. As you spent a lot of your playtest going decidedly off-piste, how would you say Skyrim sits, compared to the two? More varied and interesting than Oblivion but less than Morrowind, about the same as Oblivion, Less varied in location that Morrowind but with a similarly interesting variety of wildlife, etc?
OXM ETboy on 20 Oct '11 said:
Glad everybody enjoyed it
I may have to "upgrade" my approach for the full game though - not going to make it to many of those good/bad dialogue forks if I murder all the quest-givers I meet....
I'm afraid my Morrowind knowledge is limited, but Skyrim is definitely more interesting to explore than Oblivion. There's a greater variety of terrain and weather conditions, and the dungeons and cities have more distinct personalities.
SidTheSloth on 20 Oct '11 said:
This last bit is definitely good news as probably my biggest criticism of oblivion was that 90% of the time in the wilderness i couldn't tell you what area of the map i was , ruins look the same etc, kind of put you going wandering (admittedly after at least fifty hours of doing just that) knowing you'd probably just find herbs, green fields and an eyelid well/ruin...!
thewrongtrousers on 21 Oct '11 said:
Good articles these but I have a question that is slightly off the point.
Regarding the Free Premium Map - I've seen this advertised on a lot of forums, games websites, magazines etc but am unable to find any websites actually offering it as part of a preorder bonus for Skyrim on the 360. I have seen a couple offering it for the PC but on contacting them they are saying they are not sure about the xbox and are still clarifying. This is the same for most of the bigger sellers I have contacted, Tesco's, HMV, Amazon, theHut, Play, Game and others. Two places that I did originally see the premium map stated as a pre-ordered bonus have now removed it from their advertising.
There is only three weeks to go to release day so what is going on with this? Have I missed so crucial announcement or something?
ShortNit on 26 Oct '11 said:
I pre-ordered Skyrim for the 360 on Amazon.com and it comes with the free physical map. O: So check there?
Teeem3000 on 26 Oct '11 said:
Loved the preview. Funny and interesting, but I have a few questions and concerns. In Morrowind or Oblivion(on normal), you had to be at least lvl 10 to fight 1 guard. Even then it was a 75% change you'd die. In Morrowind, you'd get trounced by a un-armored wood elf with a dagger at lvl 5. Most of my characters were melee heavy too. But your character seemed to slice and dice through guards and and entire towns. Are they that easy to kill? What level was your character? Was the game's difficulty set to normal or did you change it?
Thanks again for the great read.
CunningSmile on 27 Oct '11 said:
Not sure about this particular preview but normally the developers ramp down everything for hands on just so the preview doesn't read as "I left the first building and was killed, I respawned and was killed again" Most common is disabling the ability to die so that cack handed previewers who have never played the game previously get a chance to play for the full couple of hours rather then doing the same set piece for the full time. I'm guessing that in this preview the character was either starting with a high level, or the difficulty was turned down.
devilsreturn on 8 Nov '11 said:
Looking forward to chucking some people off some cliffs !!!!!!
Mateo714 on 18 Nov '11 said:
I thoroughly enjoyed this article. I was laughing so hard my workmates almost called the EMT's.
Really opens up some ideas for game play