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Email a FriendOur parish has a CCW chapter. Almost 10 years ago, I went—for one year. They meet once per month, include dinner in their meeting, and do try to work on projects such as you mentioned, but on a smaller, local scale. I guess I was sad, because I couldn’t find what I was looking for: friendship and fellowship. Everyone was nice enough at the meetings, but the “push” to volunteer pushed me over the edge. One of the reasons I attended was because I was looking for friendship—I had 5 children at that point, 3 in grade school and two toddlers. I was already over-whelmed with ‘required volunteering’ necessitated by the children in school. To be asked to do more, was just too much. And I’m not saying it was the fault of the group—if that is their goal, they are achieving it. I was just sad that I couldn’t (and haven’t since) been able to find lasting friendships in a group of Catholic women. And maybe the level of service asked for might have something to do with the age of the women in the group. Perhaps when my children are grown, and I don’t have the obligations associated with school and other extra curriculars, then I might have time to go back to CCW.
Women and Organizations
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Faith on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 10:00 AM
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking at the annual convention for the Winona Diocesan Council of Catholic Women in Worthington, Minnesota. I was with them Friday night when their Executive Board met to go over plans for the upcoming year, and Saturday when their local Bishop installed the new officers. I witnessed scores of women coming together from as far away as six hours, to pray, to meet, to work, to be inspired, and then to go forth and make a change in the world.
I have to tell you, I was inspired. I did note however that the average age of the women participating in the event indicated a higher level of participation by more “mature” ladies. This gave me pause to think about women and organizations, especially in today’s climate. I pondered whether social networking may have replaced more formal organizational membership, because younger generations may believe that they are connected enough with other women online that they don’t need to pay dues or to attend meetings to build community.
The WDCCW is part of a larger umbrella organization, the National Council for Catholic Women. I’ll admit that before speaking at their conference last year, I’d never heard of the NCCW. And that’s sad, because they are doing some pretty amazing work not only in the United States, but literally around the world. The women from Winona are a perfect example of this service: at Saturday’s meeting they collected literally a truck load of gently used shoes to take to developing countries and also gathered tons of hand-sewn dresses, pants and diapers for children who otherwise would no have clothing. These same ladies are the mainstay of their local parishes—the first ones the pastor calls when there is a need or a volunteer opportunity.
I’ve been doing some homework since I arrived back home trying to see if there is a local NCCW council in my home diocese so that I can join and get involved. But honestly, without my personal interaction with these women in Minnesota it’s unlikely that I’d be looking to add yet another volunteer commitment to my schedule. Seeing firsthand the amazing good they do, but also the Sisterhood in Christ that they have built with one another, makes me covet this type of spiritual friendship with ladies in my own community.
How about you? Do you belong to the NCCW or a local Catholic Women’s Council and if so what has been your experience? Does your parish or diocese offer formal groups for Catholic women? Would you consider membership in one of these, or do you feel that women’s groups are a thing of the past?
Comments
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Dear Sad, thanks for sharing this important perspective. It would be very nice if there could be a social, supportive aspect to these kinds of groups to accomodate moms with young ones, maybe even including babysitting for meetings! I agree that when my kids were young, I went out looking for friends anywhere I could find them, and time to volunteer was next to impossible. Thanks for sharing an important perspective!
While reading your post, I had the same reaction as Sad above. Just from your description of the group I could tell it wouldn’t be something I could fit in on top of4 young kids, school activities, sports, etc. I like online social networking because at this stage in life, I can fit it in on my time and schedule and still feel connected. I look forward to joining groups in person after the kids are older (even though I may already be in the mature category, I started late ).
I think it’s good to remember that we all have seasons in our lives. Right now I am quite busy homeschooling my 8 children. My time available for volunteering, therefore, revolves around them and their activities. I volunteer with our homeschool group, teen group and soccer leagues. There’s no time for me to help with soup kitchens, altar societies or the pregnancy center right now, but I anticipate that when there are no more math tests to grade or soccer games to watch, I will be ready for those opportunities.
For those looking for friendships, I would get involved with those things that are of interest to your whole family right now, as those are the things you’ll be able to “stick with”.
Young women typically have young children and little to no free time. Also, simply by being at home and raising Godly families we are making a “change in the world.” Charity is, of course, important and I feel sure that some of the shoes and diapers were donated by young women who are unable to attend meetings. Life is full of seasons and no one season is more important than another. 20 years from now, there will still be good, kind, selfless women volunteering their time and running organizations such as the one listed above. God bless.
I would like to encourage all of you to consider becoming a member even if you cannot (or are not interested in) attend(ing) meetings. For over 20 years I maintained a membership in the Catholic Women’s League of Canada - same idea, different country. 
I was busy raising a family, but I knew that the CWL was a lobby group at different government levels and I wanted to help maintain the crediblity that large numbers have. Sadly, those numbers have dropped from 110,000 in the ‘80s to just over 90,000 across Canada today. The reason is those older members have gone on to the next life and younger women like yourselves are not joining.
Especially in today’s political climate, I think it’s terribly important to try and have an authentic Catholic voice influencing what’s happening in government circles. I am now on my diocesan executive and have worked with our Provincial executive (the level of your state) to meet with provincial members of governement who DO want to know what we think. When you consider that every member of the CWL (or NCCW) represents not just her vote, but probably a husband’s and perhaps adult children’s, the numbers really do matter.
I should have added that most parish councils have many, many more inactive members than active. My parish actually makes a note on the membership list about whether a woman wants to be involved, called only for prayer or not at all. I imagine we’re not the only one to do that.
Please consider taking out a membership. You can be sure the anti-family/anti-life women’s groups are lobbying, so having that Catholic voice (which represents most women, not only Catholic ones), is crucial.
I belong to MCCW (Military Council of Catholic Women) and b/c it is on a military base we actually have mostly young women and we provide childcare for the kids! I must say that we don’t do as much charity work as we would like probably because of the reasons enumerated above but we have a great time!
I am also very maxed out with homeschooling and all the kids’ activities. When the kids are older I will have more time for volunteering. But even then, I probably would volunteer for something that is closer to my heart like pro-life work, chastity education, or conservative political action. But right now, family comes first. The one thing I would like to start squeezing in is an Endow class. So far I have not been able to make this happen but that would be my first attempt at being with other Catholic women without the kids in tow. The great thing about Endow for busy moms is there is no homework and no volunteering. Endow is growing like gangbusters.
I hate to say it but as women get married later and later in life (like me), there will be fewer and fewer women available for some of these groups unless they find a way to get them in as young single women before they start having kids.
I am a “younger” woman (age 34) and a mother of 2 young children. I recently chaired the first Catholic Women’s Conference for our diocese. [We tried to get you as a speaker, Lisa, but your schedule was very full at the time! 
] It was important to me as the chair to surround myself with a diverse committee of women when it came to age and background—from “mature” with grandchildren, to those of us with young children, to being younger and single. The phenomenal women with whom I worked to present the conference were a blessing in many ways, and in the end, impacted a similarly diverse group of the nearly 800 women who attended. I say all of this to point out that attracting a younger generation of women to get involved in ministry IS possible, but it must be purposeful and realistic. We could not offer childcare at the conference, but we publicized that nursing babies were welcome and a “Nursing Mothers Room” was available where they could still listen to the talks if they needed a quieter place to retreat with their babies. A few of my friends who are nursing mothers, and at the time had very young infants, would not have otherwise attended if this effort were not made to go out of our way to let them know they were welcome.
I belonged to the DCCW at my parish close to 10 years ago, and similar to “Sad” above, found that it was almost all volunteer focused with some social/spiritual aspects to it. The women were very gracious, and obviously generous with their time when it came to the projects they supported. However, with the ages of my children and the need to be “puposeful” about the quality of our family time at home (in addition to volunteering at their school, etc) I am much happier and more drawn toward attending the women’s bible study I am a part of at my parish. It is sort of a sister ministry to a men’s prayer/bible study group. We meet once a month on the opposite week as the men, so that those who are married, can both be involved without necessitating a babysitter. I get a lot out of the prayer and spiritual sisterhood that we have in this group, which renews my spirit in order to fulfill my vocation at home and in the other ways I volunteer. Perhaps, as some of the others wrote, I will feel more able/called to attend either DCCW or a similar group when my children are fully grown. But at this point in my life, my reasons for not belonging to it have more to do with this very real issue of the many responsibilities and commitments of mothers with children in the home (and seeking to raise them in the faith!!!) than of simply preferring social networking to being together.
Lisa, I went to the website and read their mission statement. I must have my “diaper blinders” on (meaning, my daily duties are diapers, meals, naps, etc.) because I can’t quite visualize what they actually *do*. I mean no offense to anyone in the group; it’s probably more a reflection of my fuzzy brain right now, but it could possibly be good feedback for the organization.
That (perceived) ambiguity can be why some people (like the first poster) feel sad when they have a need, they join a group to meet that need, and the group cannot meet their particular need because the group was formed to do something else. (You can’t be everything to everyone.)
Again, maybe because my plate is so full that I run from requests to join groups, this may be an unfair first impression on my part…but still, it *is* the first impression I get in the few minutes I spent on the site.
I think this is so true. I tend to want to work for a clearly defined “cause” or mission (such as working with the poor, saving unborn babies, etc.). Not something vague like charity work. People have interests and strengths in different areas. So I am likely to pass up anything that doesn’t give me a clear idea of what they do and how they do it so I can see if I feel called to that.
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