As the mother of 12 and growing… due in January, I can totally relate. Not that I still have 12 trailing behind me when I shop or take a pleasure excursion. But I have watched the eyes count when we all troop into a restaurant on our many business trips. When asked how DO you DO it, I smile and say ‘one at a time’. I treat each child as the beautiful individual s/he is and enjoy them - one at a time!

Thanks for the fun insight as to how we are often the only mother of a large family that these people will ever have a personal conversation with.

Terrific! A fresh reminder of how we can spread a little kindness instead of grumpiness when asked to do the small but often tiresome duty of witnessing to others about large and very happy families.

Eight IS great!  And you are a wonderful witness to the blessings of many children!

I always love your light hearted approach to all-things-large-family, Danielle.  I too get the head counting in public, even when all nine kids aren’t with me.  I crack up when I have the four youngers with me and someone comments about how full my hands are.  I’m usually in a playful enough mood to tell them they don’t know the half of it!

Even moms of fewer children, like me, can benefit from this reminder to cultivate and project a positive attitude towards motherhood.  Thanks, Danielle!

You are so right.  If the Holy Spirit doesn’t give me a better answer, then I just say, “but it’s a lot of fun!”

I love that I can count on you to be unpredictable, Danielle! (That sounds like a contradiction, but there you go.) I think of you when I feel self-conscious about all the stares and the head-counting—we have five—because I know that we Moms are united in our hearts when it comes to loving up ALL these little ones.

Wow, that is really good!

God bless you for smiling and being pleasant!  I grew up in a family of eight children and my mom was accosted quite frequently on family outings.  This was the 70s during the “zero population” days (remember the bumper sticker that said “Jesus was an only child”?).  Nevertheless, as a child I remember my mom smiling and taking it on the chin.  You do kind of get used to being in the spotlight so to speak, and I remember feeling proud that I was “one of the X family”!

It seems counter-intuitive, but really it is so very true: 8 IS great! After all, it is not the daily struggles, burdens and difficulties that so define our lives; it is the love the we share, the opportunities that we have, to give and be given to in return, with love, by one another.

In the end, what else matters?

By that standard, therefore, anyone with 8 children is not only blessed (as well as burdened with laundry etc.), but you have 8 x 8 = 64 exponential chances to know a few people in depth, and to love them as best you can.

A person with a small family has different riches.

They do miss out on the interaction of so many, the sense of being surrounded by true ‘family’ in great abundance, a large & beloved group. When one thinks of it in math terms, a family of 4, a small family, is 4 x 4 = 16.

What is it like to contemplate going from 16 to 64 on the “opportunities meter”, when it comes to letting go and trying to love?! I’d say it’s more than great! You are getting a true sense of the bigness of The Body of Christ, itself!

Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote that an envelope - a life experience - left unopened, is delivered from one person to the next, freshly new. The treasures are inside, undisturbed; but the one who does not open their envelope simply does not know. I would say that the one with 8 children knows, lives, experiences. Congratulations for having opened your ‘envelope’ (invitation from God to learn exponential love)!!

Many people will never know what they are missing, as they think they know what is in their ‘envelope’ that got passed on….. ready for another to open, freshly & filled with potential treasure, in future.

My Mom, who had 10 in under 15 years, says she always responded “isn’t it wonderful” to the inevitable “another one???” when each pregnancy was announced.  She said it nicely closed the door to any negativity. 

I have 2 babies, just 13 months apart, and often get a sideways comment about how my hands are so full.  I always reply what a good full it is.  I once even had a very rude comment when pushing my son in the stroller and carrying my baby girl in a front back that I could fit another on my back….I smiled and said I’d love it!!!  When there’s time to I also always try to say that we’re so blessed.  I’ve yet to have someone disagree with that.

Good for you! I *only* have four, but I am sure twice that number would be a big blessing. You are right—eight is great!

Thankyou, Danielle, for such a wonderful article…..I am a mom of 14 and grandma of 41….more love, more tears, more joys, more sorrows——it is living life to its fullest dimension.  If I had it to do over again—yeah, I would….even the vexing teenagers who get into trouble—later they turn into the most wonderful adult friends and allies as they find out for themselves why I said yes to this and no to that and always clung to God through it all.  Now I see them starting to love and cling to Him too and that is the greatest joy of all!!!!

I “only” have 5, not as much as some of you wonderful women, but I get the same thing. The problem is , my kids are usually doing something awful-fughtng, not listening, breaking something(haha), when someone makes the comment. What do I say then???

I think when they’re getting rambunctious you could smile and say “It’s never boring!!!”

When reading this, it reminded me of these shirts that I came across recently: http://www.catholicposters.com/shop/search.php?searchName=1&searchQuery=b4+you+even+ask  I only have 2, for now, and my friends just shake their heads when I say I’ll take as many as God will give me. 

We have 8 too and have seen quite the variety of responses.  When asked how I ‘do it’ I’ve taken to respond ‘by the grace of God and a GREAT husband - couldn’t do it without either’. 

I do try to keep my ‘happy face’ on when out and about with the kids but when asked I do make it clear that I’m not super woman and that EVERYTHING never gets done. 

I like the ‘one child at a time’ response someone gave.  It is a great time to witness to the gift of life.  Sometimes I feel that my example is about all I can do in the day to work for the ‘pro-life’ cause. 

Eight is great.  It isn’t always easy and it isn’t always even fun.  But it is incredibly rewarding and the opportunities for me to grow in faith and love - oh, and humility have been endless (need I say anything about teens here?? )

loved your post Danielle.

Danielle,
I love your post today. I am a mom to 7 and can very much relate to your story.

I know that we are all called to shine our lights for all to see and for those of us who have been generously given large families
(side note: I know there are many out there who would love large families but for one reason or another it isn’t God’s plan. - For that reason I consider my self blessed.”)
we can do it in the everyday encounters. Who knows how we affect those around us. Just us loving our life as it is is a witness to people. I will be honest, there are many a day where I want to pull my hair out and think to myself “I can’t do this!!!!” It’s on those days that I realize I’m relying on my own strength and not on the grace that God has given me and wants to give me.
Thank you for the encouragement!!!!

I am not a mother of a large family, but I am a
mother.  I know many couples who have large
families, and I have sometimes asked, what is it
like, havine so many children?  It must be a blessing, but then I think to myself, well, their
family didn’t start out that way, they each came
one (or two) at a time.
I love large families and silently praise God when I
see any expectant mother!

Congratulations on all your many blessings, Danielle. I like your attitude.
Maureen Locher

Your smile would brighten any lake-side conversation Danielle!
I’m glad that passers-by have the opportunity to share in the joy of your beautiful family.
When we answer, “Yes….10…but only 8 are still at home”...and they say, “OOONNNLY 8?!?” We smile and say, “Yep…unless the good Lord chooses to bless us with another one”!
That usually gets the heads to shaking…smiling…but shaking.
We find that kids who are only children gravitate toward us at football games…we laugh because we often end up with 3 or more additional kids sitting with us in the bleachers…my daughter always says I have to count heads in the van to make sure that we only have heads that belong to US! LOL