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United States
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God_Damn_Batman

  1. If you’re surprised at how awesome Arkham City is, then you really don’t understand how good I am at motivating game developers. about 14 hours ago via Batcomputer
  2. Playing Arkham City is just like being me. Except you're not actually a badass, don't have ninja skills, and your parents are still alive. 1:36 PM Oct 18th via Batcomputer
  3. Alfred, clear my calendar of all villain-tormenting and thug-punching appointments... Arkham City comes out this week. 2:03 PM Oct 17th via Batcomputer
  4. Robin stood in line all morning for his iPhone 4S. Which made “accidentally” running it over with the Batpod so much funnier. 1:13 PM Oct 14th via Batcomputer
  5. Joker is giving away free money at the Gotham Occupy Wall Street protest. I’m at home. Washing my $300,000 tights. 5:46 PM Oct 13th via Batcomputer
  6. Alfred, if you emailed me warhead schematics half as well as you can bitch, I'd be home watching Modern Family by now. 6:20 PM Oct 12th via Batcomputer
  7. The only way I’m watching “Last Man Standing” is if it ends with me, fists bloodied, standing over an unconscious Tim Allen. 4:36 PM Oct 11th via Batcomputer
  8. New villain calling himself Christopher Columbus. Wears a tri-corner hat, carries a sword, and spreads syphilis. I hate holidays. 11:44 AM Oct 10th via Batcomputer
  9. WOW. Breaking Bad finale has me so amped! CAN’T WAIT to find a meth lab to rip apart tonight. 8:42 PM Oct 9th via Batcomputer
  10. Nobel Peace Prize. What a joke. Now a Nobel JUSTICE Prize...THAT'S an award. Comes with bat-shaped trophy and a kick to the balls. 1:43 PM Oct 7th via Batcomputer
  11. "Project Runway was on" is NOT an acceptable excuse to not have my cape ironed, ALFRED!! 6:05 PM Oct 6th via Batcomputer
  12. The genius we didn’t deserve, but the one we needed. Farewell, Steve Jobs. 5:11 PM Oct 5th via Batcomputer
  13. You think Apple’s Siri will provide faster intel if you’re yelling in a growly voice and threatening to break its legs? 3:28 PM Oct 4th via Batcomputer
  14. iPhone 4S huh? Nice work, Apple. Call me when it either has a bullet-proof alloy screen or is CALLED THE IPHONE 5! 12:12 PM Oct 4th via Batcomputer
  15. Mr. Freeze said we'll see an Arrested Development movie when “hell freezes over.” I agree, but still cracked open his cryo-dome for the pun. 1:25 PM Oct 3rd via Batcomputer
  16. I didn’t cry at the end of Rudy. 3:48 PM Sep 30th via Batcomputer
  17. YES!! NATIONAL COFFEE DAY!! I’M CELEBRATING BY DRINKING 20 LATTES THEN DEMOLISHING A COLOMBIAN CARTEL. YEAH CAFFEINE!! 12:21 PM Sep 29th via Batcomputer
  18. Hey Hollywood. Here’s a pitch: America’s Next Top Robin. America votes. Batman changes the channel. 1:15 PM Sep 28th via Batcomputer
  19. Just ate a whole roast chicken, three protein bars, a 2000 calorie shake and an entire package of spicy brats. I’m watching my figure. 12:41 PM Sep 27th via Batcomputer
  20. Breakfast in the Bahamas. Shopping in Paris. Then a jaunt to Hong Kong to extradite a mob boss. Typical Monday. 12:15 PM Sep 26th via Batcomputer
  • Name The Batman
  • Location The rooftop behind you.
  • Bio The hero Twitter deserves, but not the one it needs. So you'll follow him. Because he can take it. GDB@batcomputer.net
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