God_Damn_Batman
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If you’re surprised at how awesome Arkham City is, then you really don’t understand how good I am at motivating game developers.
about 14 hours ago
via Batcomputer
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Playing Arkham City is just like being me. Except you're not actually a badass, don't have ninja skills, and your parents are still alive.
1:36 PM Oct 18th
via Batcomputer
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Alfred, clear my calendar of all villain-tormenting and thug-punching appointments... Arkham City comes out this week.
2:03 PM Oct 17th
via Batcomputer
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Robin stood in line all morning for his iPhone 4S. Which made “accidentally” running it over with the Batpod so much funnier.
1:13 PM Oct 14th
via Batcomputer
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Joker is giving away free money at the Gotham Occupy Wall Street protest. I’m at home. Washing my $300,000 tights.
5:46 PM Oct 13th
via Batcomputer
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Alfred, if you emailed me warhead schematics half as well as you can bitch, I'd be home watching Modern Family by now.
6:20 PM Oct 12th
via Batcomputer
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The only way I’m watching “Last Man Standing” is if it ends with me, fists bloodied, standing over an unconscious Tim Allen.
4:36 PM Oct 11th
via Batcomputer
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New villain calling himself Christopher Columbus. Wears a tri-corner hat, carries a sword, and spreads syphilis. I hate holidays.
11:44 AM Oct 10th
via Batcomputer
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WOW. Breaking Bad finale has me so amped! CAN’T WAIT to find a meth lab to rip apart tonight.
8:42 PM Oct 9th
via Batcomputer
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Nobel Peace Prize. What a joke. Now a Nobel JUSTICE Prize...THAT'S an award. Comes with bat-shaped trophy and a kick to the balls.
1:43 PM Oct 7th
via Batcomputer
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"Project Runway was on" is NOT an acceptable excuse to not have my cape ironed, ALFRED!!
6:05 PM Oct 6th
via Batcomputer
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The genius we didn’t deserve, but the one we needed. Farewell, Steve Jobs.
5:11 PM Oct 5th
via Batcomputer
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You think Apple’s Siri will provide faster intel if you’re yelling in a growly voice and threatening to break its legs?
3:28 PM Oct 4th
via Batcomputer
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iPhone 4S huh? Nice work, Apple. Call me when it either has a bullet-proof alloy screen or is CALLED THE IPHONE 5!
12:12 PM Oct 4th
via Batcomputer
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Mr. Freeze said we'll see an Arrested Development movie when “hell freezes over.” I agree, but still cracked open his cryo-dome for the pun.
1:25 PM Oct 3rd
via Batcomputer
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I didn’t cry at the end of Rudy.
3:48 PM Sep 30th
via Batcomputer
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YES!! NATIONAL COFFEE DAY!! I’M CELEBRATING BY DRINKING 20 LATTES THEN DEMOLISHING A COLOMBIAN CARTEL. YEAH CAFFEINE!!
12:21 PM Sep 29th
via Batcomputer
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Hey Hollywood. Here’s a pitch: America’s Next Top Robin. America votes. Batman changes the channel.
1:15 PM Sep 28th
via Batcomputer
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Just ate a whole roast chicken, three protein bars, a 2000 calorie shake and an entire package of spicy brats. I’m watching my figure.
12:41 PM Sep 27th
via Batcomputer
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Breakfast in the Bahamas. Shopping in Paris. Then a jaunt to Hong Kong to extradite a mob boss. Typical Monday.
12:15 PM Sep 26th
via Batcomputer
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- Name The Batman
- Location The rooftop behind you.
- Bio The hero Twitter deserves, but not the one it needs. So you'll follow him. Because he can take it.
GDB@batcomputer.net
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