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TNB: Survival Stories
Years ago, when they were still married, Margo Talbot and Joe Josephson, two high-standard ice climbers at the time, passed through town. Always convinced that I am terribly busy, I am not all that forthcoming with invitations to stay, or at least for long, but they were easy-breezy. Amid the magical hush of a days-long winter snowstorm that buried Mike’s and my house and hillside, Joe raced around indoors with our then-3-year-old, Teddy. He bought him a toy dinosaur and voiced its many thoughts as they ran up and downstairs on perilous adventures. Margo turned her direct gaze on me and said, “OK, how do you change a baby’s diaper?” and then cleaned the swamp mud enveloping eight-month-old Roy. One night the couple (she from British Columbia, he from Montana) cooked us a curry dinner.
When, after two or three days, they said they were moving on, I protested. I said: “I don’t think the roads are safe yet.”
Who knew Margo carried such baggage?
A month ago I read, in two days
TNB: Climbing Cliches
After seven years of editing the best climbing magazine in the world, I’ve read thousands of articles by hundreds of writers and worked with dozens of them to help them turn their Dear Diary entries into the smashing articles that you read in Rock and Ice. Over the years, I’ve noticed that there are certain patterns to climbing prose that re-emerge and repeat themselves. It’s not just in writing, either, and you’ll hear many of these cliched terms in common climbing dialect as well. This isn’t a complete list of climbing cliches, but a good start. My only problem with these words is that they’re basically meaningless — spoken or written simply out of the need to escape a void in our comprehension of reality, which could otherwise be filled with more exact truth and new creativity. That said, I wouldn’t want to see these words rid from our vocabulary any sooner than I’d want to give up my iPhone 4 (that is of course until the iPhone 5 comes out).
Here’s a perfect, instant classic, epic list of climbing cliches.
TNB: Kai's First Climb
Three weeks ago my wife and I visited the City of Rocks, Idaho, and my son Kai completed his first climb: Lookout Ridge (5.5). He’d just turned four, was on his first road trip, camping and rock scrambling and hanging out with his best friend Hen J. They rallied around the base of the routes with toy trucks, conversing at volume 10, sometimes erupting into hoots and screams until I forcefully explained that screaming is the one vocalization you can not make at a climbing area. I felt bad about subjecting our fellow City of Rocks climbers to Kai, in particular. He projects his voice like an opera star and his lamentations can break eardrums.
The boys tried climbing for the first time about halfway through the trip. We taught them the commands and we talked about how important it is to play quietly so that climbers can hear those commands. Then we talked about using your “climber’s voice,” the one that precludes ape calls and screeches. After that, the boys learned how to tie a figure 8 and I explained the concept of lowering.
Both boys looked stunned so I tried again.“When ...
TNB: Slander SlabsAs you read this, Ammon McNeely and Kait Barber have just completed the second ascent of Wings of Steel on El Cap, an early 1980s era line by Mark Smith and Richard Jensen. Besides being El Cap’s longest-standing unrepeated big-wall aid route, Wings of Steel may prove to be its technically hardest, but when it was first climbed it wasn’t lauded as being difficult or bold, rather it was derided as a contrived line riddled with bolts up an endless slab. In the 29 years since it was put up, Wings of Steel—and Smith and Jensen—have been the butt of jokes and the subject of slander and threats, a slagging rivaled only by the scorn heaped on another bolted line, the 1980 route Hall of Mirrors, a Grade VI free climb on Yosemite’s Glacier Point Apron, established by Bruce Morris, Chris Cantwell, Dave Austin and Scott Burke. Unless you were around in the early 1980s, it may be difficult for you to comprehend the utter and total mocking of Hall of Mirrors, although you very likely can understand why it was loathed: ...
TNB: Fighting the Good Fight: Against Ourselves
Phil Powers is coming to the Outdoor Retailer trade show, in August, for two days. Think that is no big deal? Seven weeks ago Phil, a vastly experienced climber and guide, and the respected executive director of the American Alpine Club, fell as much as 75 feet and decked. A litter evac and helicopter transported him to St. Anthony's hospital in Denver, where, in his words: “various surgical teams corrected: a diaphragmatic tear (15cm) that allowed my stomach, spleen and intestines into my left lung cavity, collapsing the left lug; a broken left humerus
Climbers Who CheatIs dropping weight in order to succeed on a hard ascent “cheating”? There’s no doubt at all that losing pounds is the surefire quickest way to help you climb harder. Training to improve finger strength, getting better at lock-offs, and even back-stepping (the single most useful technique in all of climbing!) don’t hold a candle to the instant results gained by shedding a few layers of flab. Weight-conscious road bikers will shell out thousands of dollars for carbon-fiber road bikes that are merely a pound (or less) lighter than their cheaper aluminum counterparts. I always laugh at the irony of seeing old, fat, bulbous-shaped rich guys, who are crammed into spandex, riding the lightest $10,000 road bikes on the market. Apparently, it’s easier to drop 10 G’s than drop a pound off themselves.
Justification for Climbing MediaThe new issue of Rock and Ice will be out on newsstands next week, and I’m really excited about its arrival because it has a feature I wrote about my climbing trip this spring to Catalunya, Spain.
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- TNB: Just Trying To Do It
- TNB: Drugs, Lawsuits, Mortenson Saga Continues
- TNB: Tough Crowd
- The AAC Provides New Grant for Local Climbing Areas
- TNB: The Undesirables
- TNB: The Tao of Choss
- TNB: Judge ye Judgers!
- Updated: Phil Powers, AAC Exec Director, seriously injured
- TNB: Deal breakers
- Iker Pou onsights 8b+ and redpoints three 8c+