You cannot cheat the house in Las Vegas, or, at least without there being a video. And, the punishment is extreme for even trying.

Now, four Planet Hollywood employees are charged with "felony crimes including theft, forgery and conspiracy to commit theft," the Sun has reported. These were supervisors who should have known they would get caught attempting to hustle a casino. Most pathetic of all is the lowly amount (split amongst them) they were allegedly willing to sell out their employer for: barely $2,000.

You don't live in Las Vegas without meeting crooks. And, without a sociology degree, I'd say that what distinguishes the crooks I've interviewed is -- in addition to moral and ethical issues -- there is a totally different sense of risk management at play. So, while I have never been a supervisor at a casino, I am sure that any winner will be identified by the house for further marketing at the very least. Indeed, I also assume that, when it comes to money, everything is checked a few ways and no one team, including ownership, is fully trusted.

And bad risk management is the only explanation I can offer for the allegations that these supervisor-level employees would throw their jobs away and risk their freedom to scam a measly $2,201.00.

Anyway, the inevitable happened. Despite the paltry sums involved, security soon started looking at surveillance footage to identify three winning players on the payouts. When they were unable to find these winners they allegedly grew suspicious. Police were brought in to investigate. What happened will be decided by the judicial process.

But how could people with this much experience working at a casino on the Strip not know they would get caught? Which one had the Danny Ocean fantasy at the under-$2,500 table? You would think, if nothing else, a job as a supervisor at Planet Hollywood is worth too much to risk this idiocy. But that is where, if the allegations are true, we get back to risk management. Amazing.

Photo: Sarah Gerke

Longtime readers of the Buffet probably remember Mini Britney performed by Terra Jole. Back in September 2007, Jole departed from performing at Beacher's Madhouse, causing the then corpulent Hard Rock headliner to dress up as the singer himself, and declare the birth of Big Britney. The battle of the Britneys raged for a while, attracting much media attention that was amusement to many and  bemusement for me. Before long Big Britney and Mini Britney were no longer performing regularly as Vegas moved on from the novelty performers and the feud.

But there is no idea not worth recycling in Vegas. Beacher's Madhouse appears to be coming back to town soon, this time at the Mirage. And, now Terra Jole is heading back to Vegas, too, performing Saturday at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood.

Of course, this is 2009. Mini Britney is now going out as Mini Lady Gaga. I talked to her very briefly this morning by phone about her latest incarnation as she was preparing to board an airplane:

Richard Abowitz: Last time we spoke you were working as Mini Britney and were sure she would reign supreme forever. When did you become Mini Lady Gaga and why?

Terra Jole: Great question. Honestly, in the environment I perform in I hear a lot of Gaga's music and I just find it so entertaining and powerful that I thought why not try it and see how it works out. It has just been a roller coaster going up hill so far. So, that is good.

RA: As Mini Britney you sang live vocals...

TJ: I did. I don't think Britney Spears sings live, but Lady Gaga does. So, that was a test to see how strong my vocals could react to a different kind of sound.

RA: Is it harder to impersonate Lady Gaga than Britney?

TJ: It's different. Lady Gaga has a stronger range. It is a larger challenge for me. Britney Spears is mainly dance. And Gaga is very mocking and doing a lot of facial probing. It was hard. But it was a cool  transition.

RA: Were there commercial considerations? Do you think the market for Britney is dropping and Lady Gaga is on the rise?

TJ: I still feel both are strong. But it is a different kind of demand. Britney is almost a legend and there are tons of impersonators of her in Vegas. I feel like Gaga is growing. Tons of drag queens are doing Lady Gaga and so I figured why not do a miniature version.

Mini Lady Gaga Courtesy Photo and Mini Britney. Photo credit: Sarah Gerke

This is why I love Vegas. Over the weekend I went to see a production of Shakespeare's "Henry V" (cut to about three hours). This being Vegas, the play was performed in a theater located in the back of a sex and fetish shop. Not only is Onyx Theatre behind the Rack, both are part of Commercial Center, one of the more interesting locations in Las Vegas.

If you are looking for sexual wildness, this is the place in Vegas not mentioned in the tourist guides that you will eventually find. This is the area that includes a bar known for a large and loyal client base of transsexuals and is home to the adult social club the Green Door. There are other businesses I am not sure about, though clearly they are adults-only establishments.

It is typical of the times that a party packed with celebrities of the film world pales compared to the notoriety of Britney Spears. CineVegas got a huge public relations boost thanks to Spears, who showed up at the festival's 10th anniversary party Friday night at the Palms Place pool. As Doug Elfman put it in his front page story in the Review-Journal this morning: "The mass witnessing of Britney was a marketing miracle for the film fest." He also described the "logjam" of people trying to walk past the Spears cabana (pictured) for a sighting. Like those many others, Buffet photographer Sarah Gerke took a pass by Spears and offers this account:

"I knew I couldn't take a photo of Britney so I didn't even try, but I think because I had my phone in hand Britney's security guards (maybe a dozen) were watching me like a hawk when I walked past her cabana. I heard them mention having one security guard whose sole task was to watch for cameras. I said hello to Robin Leach, who was standing outside Britney's cabana. Britney was just sitting there with a cigarette in her mouth."

Now, wasn't that exciting?

More exciting to me was Sunday morning. I arrived 30 minutes early at the Palms for CineVegas. I was hoping to interview Dennis Hopper on a red carpet set to start at 9:30 a.m. The red carpet was near the theater at the far less glamorous and more local area of the casino. You can find low-limit slots nearby. The theater is on the opposite end of the casino from places like the Ghost Bar and the Fantasy Tower, where the  elite experiences at the Palms are held. This is where the food court with the McDonald's can be found.

Sitting across from the McDonald's in the food court enjoying coffee and a blueberry muffin, with no security around, was Dennis Hopper. Maybe I should have left him alone. It must be nice for him to be able to stretch out by himself without being hassled. But I was very polite, and I could not miss a chance to just ask him for a sit-down one-on-one intervew.  He was gracious enough to say yes.

Hopper has been the biggest booster in Hollywood for CineVegas. For the past few years he has been chairman of the advisory board and a central presence at the festival. He is credited by festival organizers for the success and higher profile Vegas' film festival has achieved during its tenure. 

"The festival is going beautifully," Hopper told me. "It is getting to be an important festival. We have had a lot of parties in Los Angeles, and there is a strong Hollywood involvement now."

That nexus between Hollywood and Vegas had long been a key goal of Hopper's even before CineVegas. "Vegas and Hollywood are the two big entertainment capitols and they are next to each other. But there was so little connection, it just seemed the natural thing to do. There should be more Hollywood involvement in Vegas."

Certainly, the benefits to Vegas are obvious, such as bringing in the sort of independent films that usually don't show in casinos. Evidence of how cherished CineVegas has become locally is best observed by noting the army of festival volunteers. This is a town that specializes in conventions and festivals. Therefore people usually expect to get paid to rip tickets or do other menial work to facilitate a festival. But local volunteers in yellow shirts are all over CineVegas this year, giving their time trying to support the sort of movies that the festival brings to town. Volunteers at a casino are rarer even than independent films.

I asked Hopper what he felt CineVegas was offering to the movie world: "CineVegas has been showing really cutting-edge stuff," he said.  "It encourages young filmmakers to take chances and risks. It is wonderful on that level. But it is also showing big picture premieres that fit Vegas, like opening this year with 'Rocker,' a wonderful choice because it was a funny and entertaining movie. We also honor the people who make films. We've honored Wim Wenders, David Lynch, Jack Nicholson and Sean Penn and other incredible filmmakers. We show older films to keep our history going. It is an all-encompassing film festival. The great thing right now is that we are finally getting sponsors and it is beginning to pay for itself and the theaters are packed. This is great. I think Vegas has so much action here that when you do something in Vegas it can be like a black hole you crawl into. But we've managed to break through that with CineVegas to become known nationally."

I resisted the urge to ask Hopper if he met Britney Spears at the party Friday night. I turned off the tape recorder and excused myself so he could finish his muffin and coffee. Instead, he shared some thoughts with me on Dylan and Dostoyevsky; I think chatting with Dennis Hopper over coffee will remain a career highlight. And part of what makes CineVegas so special is that he was just a guy sitting in the fast-food court who was open to a stranger sitting down to talk about cinema, books and music with him. That is a rare moment in Vegas, where usually celebrities are kept far from the regular folk. But CineVegas is a unique phenomenon. And I am sure everyday attendees will walk up to Hopper, who is clearly going out of his way to make himself available, as are many of the other directors and actors here right now. I have seen the famous chatting with fans in the food court all weekend. That is not how things usually work here. In Vegas, celebrities attend an event to draw tourists but not to mix with them. Usually there are layers of security between the celebrities and the tourists keeping the sides far apart.

So don't expect to see Britney Spears at the food court at the Palms. Her appearance at the party was in fact not so much "marketing" as "miracle;"  Spears' surprise (even to the festival organizers) appearance at the CineVegas anniversary party was a typically bizarre example of the sort of crazy chance things that can happen when you make Vegas the home of a film festival. Hopper had it right all long; Vegas and Hollywood are a perfect match.

(Photos by Sarah Gerke)

I don't play video games. But I got a good laugh checking out this preview for the much anticipated This Is Vegas game scheduled for release later this year. The game apparently will feature four pillars of Vegas (the first two of which have little to do with Vegas): fighting, racing, gambling and partying. I mean, people fight here and I guess race, too, but really Vegas only has the two pillars: gambling and partying: