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[+] Class mom here. I put birthday invites to my DC's birthday in everyone's backpack. Ev... 26 replies
- ^meant for the circumcision thread. Sorry!...
Talk : : June 08, 2011
Class mom here. I put birthday invites to my DC's birthday in everyone's backpack. Everyone RSVP'd except 1 mom - class of 7. Then, I put envelopes asking for donations for the teacher's gift in everyone's backpack. Again, everyone responded by this 1 mom. I heard that she's going through a divorce, but still, what a flake. I hate that people can't do something as simple as sending off an email or checking a box on an invite.
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | More06.08.11, 11:03 AM Flag ]-
Maybe she thinks its creepy that some lady is going through her DC's backpack and putting things in there all the time
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:07 AM FlagYou obviously don't have any school-aged kids. Or you're stupid.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:10 AM FlagYes, I'm stupid, great insult, thanks. No actually at my kids elementary school, moms don't rifle through other kids backpacks. The teachers give them things to take home, yes, but if parents need to chat about something, they just call eachother off the class lists. I think you need to learn to relax.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:14 AM Flag
Not a very compassionate attitude. When you have something big going on your life (divorce, illness, death of a loved one, etc.), even small tasks like teacher gifts and RSVPs seem like more than you can handle because there are MANY such tasks in a person's life (you only happen to know about the two tasks you're involved with, but I'm sure this woman has many other "small" tasks on her plate). Why don't you try another approach: reach out and ask her? Or just include her in the teacher gift and let it go?
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:09 AM FlagHow do you even know that she got it? Maybe the dc goes right to dad's house from school and the envelope gets lost. Even if he goes home w/mom, you shouldn't blame the divorce or call her a flake; just call and say you're concerned she hasn't received all of the class parent communication.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:10 AM Flag-
Get a hobby, class mom. One that doesn't involve picking on mother's who are going through hard times.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:15 AM FlagExactly. I can't even imagine how awful it would be to go through a divorce with a child. I'm sorry, but your child's bday and a teacher's gift may be the last things on her mind right now-- as insulting as it is for you to hear that. She may be struggling just to keep from crying in front of her child, and dress and feed her child appropriately every day. Not to mention what the poor child is going through. As a class parent, is compassion so hard to come by?
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 12:27 PM Flag
maybe you should reach out to her and see if she received them - how old are the children? maybe she does not go thru their backpack
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:45 AM Flag-
instead of getting annoyed that she didn't respond send a quick email - you could have gently reminded her about rsvping for the party and for the class gift. i'm a class mom and we had three people who didn't we sent out one reminder for the class gift - and if they responded great if not fine. sometimes in this woman's case she may need a little reminder, especially with everything else going on in her life.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 02:02 PM Flag
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[+] The Weiner penis photo has been released! 39 replies
- Just playing around with the circumcision thing...
Talk : : June 08, 2011
The Weiner penis photo has been released! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/08/anthony-weiner-penis-photo_n_873182.html
39 replies [ Reply | Watch | More06.08.11, 10:15 AM Flag ]For the curious sickos like me http://yfrog.com/h3b3sfej:iphone
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 10:16 AM Flag-
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I would kill my dh if he did this. It is so incredibly childish. Like teen sexting, you want to wring their necks, even though and because you still love them.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 10:43 AM FlagLooks like a totally ordinary penis to me. Not thrilling in any way. How embarrassed would you be if you were Weiner?! Insane.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 11:00 AM Flag-
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[+] Yes/no answers only, no comments or justifications. For moms of DS: did you have db(s... 40 replies
Talk : : June 08, 2011
Yes/no answers only, no comments or justifications. For moms of DS: did you have db(s) circumcised or not?
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | More06.08.11, 09:34 AM Flag ]Yes, because he did is. Having said that, my DH is a pediatric surgeon and believes there is no medical reason whatsoever to have a circ. What's more, he refuses to do them past infancy.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 09:46 AM FlagWhat part of "Yes/no answers only, no comments or justifications" did you all not understand???
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 10:03 AM Flag-
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[+] How do I find a doc in NYC who will perform a newborn circumcision WITH anesthesia? I... 45 replies
- I have 3 boys and they all were circumcised by my OB using a local anesthetic. It was worse for me and dh than for the boys. Yes, they cried for a...
- If you don't want your DB to suffer, just don't circumcise him....
Talk : : June 08, 2011
How do I find a doc in NYC who will perform a newborn circumcision WITH anesthesia? I am 38 weeks pregnant and my doctor (Katrina Bradley) won't use it, and neither will any of the other docs in her practice. Please help!!!
45 replies [ Reply | Watch | More06.08.11, 06:17 AM Flag ]-
Why dont you ask your pediatrician? Our pediatrician doenst do them but yours might. Or they may recommend someone who is the on call doctor at the hospital you are delivering who can do it.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:27 AM FlagUsually the OBGYN is not the one who performs a circumcision. Can you ask the peds who visit you in the hospital? They should know who could do it.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:28 AM Flagyou can ask a pediatric urologist. but i doubt they will do it with general anesthesia. again, why do you want it done with anesthesia?
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:29 AM Flagit's over in 2 sec. It's more painful in your mind than for your ds
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:43 AM Flagwell !! your newborm has to stay hungry at least for 3 hr then doctor may get tied up so he may have to stay hungry longer. Then circ can take 5 painful min. Most of the MD will give only pacifer or sucrose solution to hungry baby to quit him down. Poor newborn, what is his fault ? Why he has to go through this ?
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:29 AM Flag
Some drs use Emla. FWIW, the painful part is more likely post cutting, b/c the cut itself is quick and tiny.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:49 AM FlagPainful part is grabbing the penis with forcepe and seperating the fore skin fron glans penis cutting comes after application of clamp, which is painful. After that there is no pain. Off course after cutting it hurts when you remove the clamp and it can get infected too like any wound. Signed MD mom.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:32 AM Flag
OP: Thanks, everyone. I don't want general anesthesia, but I do want something -- the ring block looks most effective. Even numbing cream is better than nothing at all. I'm going to call around to pediatricians. I'm a FTM and not sure how this all works.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:58 AM Flag-
Don't worry about it - a good OB does several a day and the baby barely feels anything - they cry for a second. They all use a local/ topical creme - and many times the nursery nurses will give DB sugar -- I forget what it's called - but it's just a tiny bit of sugar-water.. Your OB will perform the 'surgery' - must be done by a surgeon - and all OBs are surgeons..
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 07:21 AM Flag-
Interesting. would a mohel do a circ on a christian boy? or only for jewish boys as part of the ceremony?
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:08 AM Flagthey don't do the ceremony. There a few mohels who are also MDs.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:17 AM FlagI'm not sure. our mohel was nymohel.com (rabbi friedman) and he was fantastic. also I know that cantor sherman (emohel.com) will do non-jewish families. http://nymag.com/health/features/60110/
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 09:08 AM Flag
my sister is a pediatrician and has performed many circumcisions. the danger of putting a newborn under general anesthesia would clearly not be worht the risk. she recommends emla (which is a local anesthetic) and following up with sugar water. while some peds don't like to do it with the emla (b/c it causes the tissue to swell, making the procedure more difficult) she strongly believes that it makes the procedure more comfortable for the child. good luck!
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 12:09 PM Flag
Why did you blast KB like that she is a great doctor. I will ask about this on my next visit but did you call and ask the hospital. My DS was done with topical anesthetic and never cried they took and returned him within 5 min. It was really no big deal.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:33 AM FlagOP: Was this at SLR? I haven't called the hospital; this just came up last week when I was talking to Dr. Bradley. I asked what kind of pain relief she uses for circs and she said she doesn't use any. I asked what other options I had and she said I'd have to look elsewhere (outside of her practice) for a doc who would give him something to help with the pain.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:56 AM Flag
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[+] The one parenting thing I truly regret: having my son circumcised. I didn't do the re... 23 replies
- make that call. You're over thinking it. Circumcision is not painful, it's not torture, and...genital mutilation. Some people call female mutilation "female circumcision" but that phrase is a euphemism for torture....
- I didn't circumcise mine, but it really isn't a big...s becoming more and more common to not circumcise, and in many countries it's quite unusual...
- We didn't circumcise either of our boys, but I think now...
Talk : : June 07, 2011
The one parenting thing I truly regret: having my son circumcised. I didn't do the research, just went with DH's choice and what I thought most people did. Now I regret and will always feel a bit guilty.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | More06.07.11, 07:13 PM Flag ]How many things did you let DH weigh in on with baby? This is one that he should have had last word. I'm guessing you don't have a penis? So let someone who does make that call. You're over thinking it. Circumcision is not painful, it's not torture, and you can't compare it to female genital mutilation. Some people call female mutilation "female circumcision" but that phrase is a euphemism for torture. Male circumcision isn't anything compared to that. It'll stay cleaner and be far less hassle in the long run.
[ Reply | More ]06.07.11, 07:45 PM Flag-
does this keep you awake at night? All the girls your ds will be sleeping with will silently be thanking you for doing the right thing.
[ Reply | More ]06.07.11, 08:20 PM FlagI really think you are making too big a deal about this. You shouldn't feel guilty. Willing to bet that your son won't even really thing about it! There are pros and cons to either decision... There is this dumb cult of motherhood, in which mothers can never do enough, never make all the right decisions. Don't fall into that trap! Do your best. Your son will be fine.
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 06:33 AM FlagAccording to DH, every man wants his boys to have the same penis as him...
[ Reply | More ]06.08.11, 08:04 AM Flag
[+] Had first DS circumcised. Now my feelings re circumcision have changed. But would i... 57 replies
- did you know that they are considering recommending male circumcision in africa as they have found that circumcized men are...
- of course. nobody debates this issue. but ALSO, circumcision can have a positive impact. and after years of thinking...of salt. If you read about the history of circumcision outside of the Jewish and Muslim traditions, it's...
- I worked with a man who had himself circumcised as an adult. He had frequent yeast infections. He...
Talk : : May 31, 2011
Had first DS circumcised. Now my feelings re circumcision have changed. But would it be better to have second DS circumcised also just so both brothers are the same?
57 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.31.11, 11:08 AM Flag ]did you know that they are considering recommending male circumcision in africa as they have found that circumcized men are less likely to have or pass on the aids virus. just sayin'
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:14 AM Flaghere is a link to a nytimes article on the topic. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/23/science/23hiv.html
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:16 AM FlagYup -- so OP, if you want to prepare your DS#2 for his future of unprotected sex in sub-Saharan Africa, you'd better get snipping!
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:21 AM Flagor, you know, there may actually be evidence that there is a non-cosmetic benefit to circumcision. in a world with an increasing number and spread of viruses and diseases, this should certainly be a factor we are considering as we make these choices for our sons. perhaps not dispositive for any single family. but to pretend it's not true is shutting your eyes to the truth
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:29 AM FlagNp, there are other studies that show opposite results to this one
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:35 AM Flagthat would be interesting to me. i have seen old studies that indicate that condom use is a much better helper and that circumcision doesnt matter as much as condoms. but this NIH study was pretty compelling. i'll see if i can find a link to the study rather than the article. i looked into it b/c my son was born around this time. if you have a different one, i'd love a link. thanks.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:37 AM Flaghere's the nih study from pubmed. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18604055
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:38 AM Flag
Condoms ladies. Condoms. Circumcision will not stop the spread of AIDS.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:45 AM Flagof course. nobody debates this issue. but ALSO, circumcision can have a positive impact. and after years of thinking about it as a purely cosmetic procedure, i think that's pretty interesting.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:47 AM FlagI have a daughter, not a son. I don't think we should rely on circumcision for anything. Condoms only.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:48 AM Flagit's funny. i'm the or and i have two sons. i think about the things we can control and the things we can't. will i indoctrinate my sons with the condoms only mentality? absolutely. i will also tell them that i will explode their heads if i EVER hear that they drive a car after one drop of alcohol has touched their lips. that being said, i am aware of the idiocy of teenage minds. and i know they'll test me on both. if drawing the line at "one drop" or doing a circumcision may help them be a little less likely of contracting any std, i'm happy to go with it.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:51 AM Flag
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Same thing happened to me. First ds, didn't think much about it, I'm Jewish, DH was in favor of circ'ing. Second ds, I had done a ton of research and seen all the anti-circ posts here and we pretty well convinced it was a bad idea. But, I couldn't quite get my head around the two boys being "different." Then ds #2 was diagnosed with hydronephronsis and given the increased risk of UTIs decided to go ahead with it. Now it's done and I'm putting it behind me. At the end of the day, I don't think it matters much.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:58 AM FlagI did not circ ds, but if I were you, I'd probably circ the second one and be done with it. People get so emotional about this issue. You must take all the "health" stuff with a grain of salt. If you read about the history of circumcision outside of the Jewish and Muslim traditions, it's bizarre. All the studies, all the proclamations. None of it makes sense. People look for the study that agrees with their thinking. There is both a pro and anti agenda.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 12:34 PM Flagit is just not important that they be the same. there are a number of families who have circed first boys, and not the younger brother. you should consider the first one what it was, an honest mistake. and given how difficult it is for people to give up this practice, it's really understandable. but now that are better informed, I think it'd be wrong to do the second one.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 01:37 PM FlagI was totally against circumsision. Not important to my religion or my culture, but then I had a girl, that solved that issue. Fast forward 13 years, I now share care-giving responsibilites with my siblings for my widowed father with Alzheimers. He was born in Europe and not circumcised. But now he can no longer clean himself probably and suffered from infections. Sadly we had him circumcised at the ripe old age of 87. Sad. But necessary.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 03:21 PM FlagYour feelings have probably changed because now we know there are no medical benefits (except if you're planning to have a kid who engages in unsafe sex). Plus I just don't think it's right to remove a healthy part of someone's body without his/her permission.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 03:30 PM FlagIf this helps at all, I spoke with my dh and mentioned I felt badly about having ds circ'd due to the hysteria around it these days. He had a good laugh and said NO DUDES care about this issue, and that he (dh, who is circumcised) feels he has plenty of sexual sensation, etc. So if it makes you feel better, you are fretting over an issue that is really not SUPER important.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 05:22 PM Flag^^^That said, now that I am writing this, as someone whose older dc is very jealous of her younger ds in so many ways, I wonder if it might be better to have both boys circumcised. I would hate for the older one to wonder why he was diff than his brother, or vice versa, like it was some sort of a "who is better" type of battle?
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 05:23 PM Flag
Honestly, as a DH, I can't for the life of me understand why there is such angst about circumcision around on this board. Just do it and make them the same, otherwise there WILL be issues down the road. Really, so many of you are bringing up female genital mutilation as a comparison and there is none. If you use that as an apples to apples comparison, that is like disfiguring the head of the penis with no anesthetic. Removing a bit of the skin around the head of the penis is like doing a SLIGHT labioplasty. Two vastly different procedures. The boy will most likely identify with his father and wonder why he is different from the father and other son if you skip it. Just let the father decide and let it go. There are more important issues to concern yourself with. And for what it's worth, the AIDS thing is a non-starter in my book. I agree condoms are really the only semi-safe way to have sex.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 07:22 PM FlagI think it's interesting how many people say it's no big deal, but then say they did it, or had it done to them. So yeah it's best to go ahead and do it. Lots of hysteria. Please don't make me think about this, I don't want to regret the decision to do this to DS! Please, it's uncomfortable for me to think I could have been left alone!
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 08:07 PM Flag
[+] Ladies: Get a grip about uncircumcised men. It's no big deal. I have gone out with... 27 replies
- women are so uptight? Why would you prefer DH be circumcised?...
- I hear you. Only half of American boy babies are circumcised now anyway. So they won't stand out....
- mind that the stats usually cited typically don't include circumcisions that were not done in hospitals (ie those done in...of an age where seriousness matters. not because of the circumcision itself, but because of what it generally represents to...
Talk : : May 31, 2011
Ladies: Get a grip about uncircumcised men. It's no big deal. I have gone out with several Europeans. In the moment of truth it looks the same. You guys are so silly. Only half of American babies are getting cut now. Your daughters will be dating uncircumcised men. Get used to it.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.31.11, 10:05 AM Flag ]Ha! It does take some getting used to though, don't you agree? I mean i've only ever seen two in my lifetime, and the second only because i ended up marrying a Brit.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:08 AM FlagI buy items as needed. I don't do a "budget" ir buy a whole wardrobe of seasonal clothing. If I see DS needs shorts, I go and buy him some but often shirts, etc. will be OK from last year
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:11 AM Flag-
OP: No. I dated a couple of Europeans and thought it was no big deal. Seeing them when they were not excited was just interesting. Didn't bother me at all. Guess I'm weird. Interesting how many American women are so uptight. After all the vagina is plenty raggedy looking if you think about it. Doesn't seem to bother men.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:12 AM Flag
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missed the initial thread. what is the big deal? american women don't like uncircumcised? why?
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:14 AM Flag-
why do you want to start something? obviously that is your intention. I am married to an uncirced European and would still prefer circ. You have your choice to do whatever to your children as do the rest of us. MYOB
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:28 AM FlagI don't think that most American women think that uncircumcised men are gross or anything. I think they are just concerned about any stigma that their own uncircumcised sons might encounter... change is slow, for all sorts of silly things.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:29 AM FlagI hear you. Only half of American boy babies are circumcised now anyway. So they won't stand out.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:33 AM FlagI don't agree that the "standing out" reason is a good one, but the vast majority of white, non-immigrant boys are circed, and a lot of people on this board would fall into that group. so, they "would" stand out among their peers if they weren't circed
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:53 AM FlagI don't know what is sadder about this response - the assumption that it's OK to make a medical decision for your child for such a shallow reason or the assumption that a "white non-immigrant" boy growing up in the NYC area will only associate with other "white non-immigrants".
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 11:00 AM Flag
np: but change has already come. half of american boy babies are not circumcised. that rate obviously varies a lot in different ethnic/religious/cultural groups. but unless your son goes to yeshiva or madrassa, odds are he won't be the only uncircumcised child.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:35 AM FlagOR: i agree that change has already come to some places, but it also really depends on where you live and who you are surrounded by. Change comes slow to some groups. Take a look at UB--many of these women seem to live in the 1950s. Also, keep in mind that the stats usually cited typically don't include circumcisions that were not done in hospitals (ie those done in religious ceremonies), so the prevalence is greater than it seems.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 10:41 AM Flag
you're wrong in your second to last sentence. i havent and wouldnt knowingly get serious with an uncircumcised male. and hope my Jewish daughter feels likewise by the time she comes of an age where seriousness matters. not because of the circumcision itself, but because of what it generally represents to me. as for it being no big deal, you might be right about that, but i was momentarily shocked the first time i saw one and it was not in a sexual context.
[ Reply | More ]05.31.11, 12:05 PM Flag
[+] Did y'all hear San Fransisco plans to vote on a ban of circumcision? 24 replies
- Hijack - did you/would you circumcise S? We would have, but a friend and our Dr talked us out of it. Since then I have...
- So should they allow female circumcisions?...
- am a circ'ed father: I have two sons. One is circ'ed, one is not. Circumcision is no where near the big to-do people would like to make it seem....
Talk : : May 27, 2011
Did y'all hear San Fransisco plans to vote on a ban of circumcision? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/18/san-francisco-circumcision-ban_n_863945.html
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.27.11, 04:07 PM Flag ]Hijack - did you/would you circumcise S? We would have, but a friend and our Dr talked us out of it. Since then I have seen so much press about it being brutality to circ.
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 04:10 PM FlagI did (x2 DS) - it's nobody's business - but I did it because I know 3 men personally who needed to have the procedure as adults for medical reasons. It's not very common, I know - but the thought of anyone going through that as a grown man makes my skin crawl.
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 06:25 PM Flag
that's fu@king insane. It's a religious practice. It's no ones business if I want my son not to have that ugly chicken neck. Why are these insane ppl taking up our time with bullshit and taking away from the real issues in this country
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 04:13 PM FlagIt is illegal to cut off part of a girl's genitals or to cut off any other part of the body on a child. really, does anyone actually think god has time for what your son's penis looks like?
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 04:26 PM Flagit's not the business of any gov't to tell you what to do with your body or your dcs body. If this passes what's next? No abortions? No birth control pills?
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 04:28 PM Flag-
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bullshit. it's evil! anyone who does this do a child is barely human. of course! it's the gov't's biz to prevent extreme violence to a baby! i cannot believe anyone does it. jews who stand around and watch must be beyond subhuman. as a mother, i cannot bear the thought of it. it's horrible!!
[ Reply | More ]05.28.11, 05:32 PM Flag
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DS has to be re-circumsied because of a botched first effort.
[ Reply | More ]05.27.11, 06:04 PM Flag
[+] Honestly, this goes too far. San Francisco wants to include a ban on male circumcisio... 14 replies
- Westport CT banned plastic bags too - I think it is a little crazy to pass laws like this but I think it is REALLY CRAZY to pass a ban on circumcision - I guess the people of SF are jsut sheep and do what they are told...
Talk : : May 18, 2011
Honestly, this goes too far. San Francisco wants to include a ban on male circumcision in ballots in the fall. I believe circumsision is a choice parents make (or don't make) for religious, personal and other reasons. But I do NOT believe the state should tell you whether you are allowed to do that or not!
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.18.11, 02:37 PM Flag ]http://www.ktvu.com/news/27941438/detail.html
[ Reply | More ]05.18.11, 02:37 PM Flag-
The legislators are getting crazy - by no means should this pass
[ Reply | More ]05.18.11, 02:47 PM FlagMy understanding is 1) it won't pass 2) it's unconstitutional for religious reasons, so I'm trying to not get my panties in a twist (although it is hard)
[ Reply | More ]05.18.11, 02:55 PM FlagWhat is their reasoning for the measure? HIV-transmission? SF does have a very sick population. I do believe the measure is unconstitutional no matter it's greater good intent.
[ Reply | More ]05.18.11, 03:53 PM Flag
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Any Jewish parents who opted not to circumcise?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.17.11, 02:50 PM Flag ]-
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Yes. Two sons. They are now at a Hebrew day school and I took the rabbi aside and discussed it with him. I knew that everyone would realize it once they changed their diapers. I discussed my issues with it and he was totally understanding. It's a reform school, so it's not a big deal anyhow.
[ Reply | More ]05.17.11, 08:57 PM Flag
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[+] OMG. MIL was just diagnosed with cancer. She asked that we baptize the children Chris... 41 replies
- She's using her diagnosis to guilt you into doing something you are not comfortable with. Do not let her. Imagine it was reversed and she wanted you to finally circumcise your son. You wouldn't do that either. It's terrible and unfair that she has cancer, but this doesn't mean she gets to dictate how you raise your children....
Talk : : May 14, 2011
OMG. MIL was just diagnosed with cancer. She asked that we baptize the children Christian because it makes her so sad to think that she won't be with them in heaven some day. WTF? I am Jewish and we are raising the DCs as Jews. This is ridiculous. I was thinking of telling her that it's ok, because as Jews we believe that everyone goes to heaven, regardless of their beliefs. Is that too harsh?
41 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.14.11, 03:11 PM Flag ]not too harsh and as much as she's hurting now with diagnosis, please don't let her guilt your dh into this
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:12 PM FlagPLESEEE WITH ALL THIS RELIGIOUS GARBAGE. JUST SAY YES. WHATS THE BIG DEAL? SELFISH
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:13 PM Flag-
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Well, that's interesting since baptists aren't supposed to believe in infant baptism, but instead what's called believer's baptism, i.e. the subject must make a conscious profession of faith, i doubt young children can make such a mature decision yet. my baptist MIL assumed we would have a christening for our first child, until i (the atheist) pointed out that her own faith doesn't subscribe to infant baptism, and she admitted that she wasn't baptized until she was a teen and professed her faith to the church.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 04:00 PM Flag
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You don't have a problem with putting your child through a ceremony that goes against your beliefs? I guess you wouldn't have a problem sending your DC to Catholic school, then. It goes both ways.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:21 PM FlagAs a Jew, i've always wondered about that -- I mean, if you don't believe that it's anything more than dipping someone in water, is there any harm in doing it? There was that episode on All in the Family, and it made me think - If you resist, are you implicitly saying you believe that this water has some spiritual power?
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 06:17 PM Flag
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She's using her diagnosis to guilt you into doing something you are not comfortable with. Do not let her. Imagine it was reversed and she wanted you to finally circumcise your son. You wouldn't do that either. It's terrible and unfair that she has cancer, but this doesn't mean she gets to dictate how you raise your children.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:25 PM FlagIs it against Jewish something to baptize a child? You can still bring your child up in the Jewish tradition. I'm not sure what the big deal is, but I'm not religious.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:26 PM FlagOP: Accepting Christ as your lord and savior is antithetical to Judaism.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:27 PM Flag-
Because it's a religious ceremony that means nothing. What's the point of that? "Will you baptize my grandchildren so I can see them in heaven" says "Your religion is wrong and you are raising your children wrong" to me. That's never okay to say, even if you have cancer.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:29 PM Flag
I was brought up very strict Baptist - and if there's one thing I was taught it was that you DON'T need to be baptized to go to heaven. In the parable/fable/myth of Jesus on the cross - when the criminal next to him asks for forgiveness - Jesus gives it to him and he is "saved" - meaning his sins forgiven and he goes to heaven. Repentence is the only barrier to heaven. So tell you MIL to read her Bible. As an adult I have chosen other spiritual avenues.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:32 PM FlagI don't get what the big deal is. I'm an Atheist so this kind of ceremony doesn't mean anything to me and if it would make her really happy, I would be fine with standing through a little water on the head ceremony that had meaning for someone else.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 03:56 PM FlagI was brought up atheist and converted to Christianity as an adult. Remind her (gently) that you and your dh have chosen to raise the children in the Jewish faith. And obviously as adults, they are free to make their own decisions. While I think she is trying to manipulate the situation, I think as long as your children's adult decisions remain open in her eyes, it will be a measure of comfort for her as well.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 05:13 PM FlagShe is definitely trying to manipulate you. I would tell her that being baptized does not guarantee you are going to heaven. Baptism is a something you do after you have accepted Christ as Savior. That if your child grows up to become a Christian then they can choose to get baptized.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 05:45 PM FlagHaving been through the death of several family members due to cancer (not old people either), I think they are just speaking out of the fear of death. They are scared of being somewhere they will be alone and separate from loved ones. She is probably scared right now. Can you tell her something like along the lines of "how scary this is for all of us and for you since you've always been healthy" and continue with "I can understand why you would ask us to baptize the children. Dh and I will think about it but because they have been raised Jewish it will be confusing to them and they might not understand what is going on. We will definitely let them decide when they are XX years old". I understand it's not very considerate of her, but she is probably scared out of her wits right now.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 05:56 PM Flagmy aunt baptized my cousins kids in the bathtub. anyone can perform a baptism. tell your mil you will let her do that. you can't have it done formally because as part of the ritual you have to promise to raise your kids in the faith. obviously, you can't do that since you are jewish and no one should expect you to lie.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 06:58 PM FlagPoor woman, :( both of you. It's hard to balance families with conflicting faiths in normal circumstances, let alone when a MIL is facing her mortality. Baptism won't really matter because what she wants is for you to raise your children to accept JC. Ask her to write them a letter about her faith and desires for them and tell her you will give it to them when they are 18 or 21, so that they, as adults, can consider her faith and make a decision for themselves about Baptism/Jesus. Baptists do not practice infant baptism, like other posters said, so she should be able to understand that it is something they'll have to come to as adults. That way you aren't in the middle.
[ Reply | More ]05.14.11, 07:52 PM Flag-
[+] ER doc on, any questions? 29 replies
- Are you circumcised?...
- I am female, and no not circumcised (very funny, not)...
Talk : : May 12, 2011
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Not really an emergency medicine question. There seems to be an explosion in MRSA cases. What's up with that? Are we killing ourselves with anti-bacterial stuff?
[ Reply | More ]05.12.11, 04:26 PM Flag-
My 20 MO woke up with a 104.7 fever last week. We took his clothes off, gave him a lukewarm bath, gave him Advil, then took the temperature 30 minutes later. It was down to 103. The next day it was 102 and we went to the doctor's. What do you think of parents not going to the ER with 104.7? Someone told me that she was shocked we didn't go. Should I handle it differently next time?
[ Reply | More ]05.12.11, 04:30 PM FlagReally the best thing to do is call your pediatrician. But as long as your child looks ok and not sick you did the right thing. If his fever had persisted I think I would have opted for going to the ER. People come for things alot more trivial than that - ring worm, warts, runny noses.
[ Reply | More ]05.12.11, 04:34 PM Flag
I suddenly got severe allergies and I am taking, zyrtec, nasonex, and a decongestant nasal spray. Anything else I should do? I am suffering badly!
[ Reply | More ]05.12.11, 04:35 PM FlagAre you an extreme sports fanatic like my other ER doc friends?
[ Reply | More ]05.12.11, 04:38 PM Flag-
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[+] New to the dating scene. Seems like every guy I talk to is just looking for sex. Almo... 11 replies
- They ask you if you're shaved?!?! I don't believe this. Sounds like something a strip club owner would ask a new girl interviewing for job. Do you ask them if they're circumcised? If they perform oral?...
Talk : : May 04, 2011
New to the dating scene. Seems like every guy I talk to is just looking for sex. Almost every single one dropped major hints about it or inquired on things like am I shaved, etc before even the first date. Is this the new normal or are there gentleman still around that at least wait a few dates before doing this?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | More05.04.11, 06:11 PM Flag ]After reading UB, I've concluded that men only want sex when not married. If married, they no longer want it. Or they want it with someone not their wife, possibly a man. Or if they want it with wife, only "up the chute."
[ Reply | More ]05.04.11, 06:23 PM FlagWow, you've got to be kidding! How does that come up in conversation?
[ Reply | More ]05.04.11, 06:38 PM FlagThey ask you if you're shaved?!?! I don't believe this. Sounds like something a strip club owner would ask a new girl interviewing for job. Do you ask them if they're circumcised? If they perform oral?
[ Reply | More ]05.04.11, 06:49 PM FlagWow! Dallas sounds tough. I would just carry on and hold out for what you are looking for. The minute a date or prospective date asks or says something inappropriate I would cut them off at the knee and move on. There is no reason for a grown man to act that way. If you are dating online then you have to do the picking meaning you send out the message. forget the guys who reach out to you. they are predators!
[ Reply | More ]05.04.11, 06:56 PM Flag
[+] What is the deal with Asian women and Jewish (or White) guys? 22 replies
- checked for circumcision...
Talk : : April 30, 2011
[+] Are you anti-semitic? Be honest. 25 replies
- , married to jewish dh, find many many relatives or friends i meet at social events to be so rude. men don't stand for women, or offer seats, houses are a mess when we are over. lack of attention to others. also, ritualized circumcision i find to be disgusting and makes me question their humanity. who can do that to their child? who can stand around and watch a child be mutilated. it's a very different world than the kind, considerate world i grew up in that...
Talk : : April 30, 2011
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I am opposed to any organized religion, but I don't feel anger or hate toward anyone. I probably stereotype (all races/religions), which you might construe as being anti-semetic.
[ Reply | More ]04.30.11, 07:00 PM FlagI have many Jewish friends and my wife is Jewish. I am not anti-semitic but I am increasingly noticing that so many of the upper middle class upper east side Jews I have met are so insular and homogeneous. I can go to a party where 95% or more of the people are Jewish and for the most part they seem preoccupied with the same things: who has how much money, who belongs to what club, who is making a lot of money, etc.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 07:08 AM FlagAs a non-UES jew I can say I think the same thing. Thats not anti-semetic, its a fact about one teeny piece of the jewish population. You can make a similar observation about the UES Wasps living west of Lex. All blond, too skinny, obsessed with where to have lunch and towing their tiny dofgs everywhere. The UES is a sick place.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 07:23 AM Flag
Real anti-semitism amongst wealthy, educated people of our generation is very subtle, imo. Those possessing of it certainly don't consider themselves anti-semitic, but they don't think that many jews should be allowed into certain schools/clubs/coops, .or they consider some things too jewish, or are reluctant to include jewish friends in groups with other (non-jewish) friends.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 09:38 AM FlagNo, but I think Israel has some asshole -- if somewhat understandable -- policies. And needs a time out in its room. So do its neighbors.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 11:26 AM FlagDefine "anti-semitic". Anti-semitic in terms of this board -- meaning just disagreeing with a Jew -- then yes I suppose I'm anti-semitic.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 12:51 PM FlagI am Jewish but did not grow up in NY. I'm from CA and we are all so much more laid back out there. I cringe whenever I run into an UES Jewish woman who fits all the stereotypes. We are not all like that! It's just the wealthy, NY, UES mentality that has warped them and the WASPs too!
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 12:52 PM Flagnever remotely anti-semitic my whole life. now, married to jewish dh, find many many relatives or friends i meet at social events to be so rude. men don't stand for women, or offer seats, houses are a mess when we are over. lack of attention to others. also, ritualized circumcision i find to be disgusting and makes me question their humanity. who can do that to their child? who can stand around and watch a child be mutilated. it's a very different world than the kind, considerate world i grew up in that was primarily catholic.
[ Reply | More ]05.01.11, 06:53 PM Flag
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[+] DH walks around naked and pretends his penis is talking to DC. I think it's too weir... 28 replies
- If they are both circumcised, or both uncircumcised, this is not only normal, it's probably beautiful. If one is circumcised and the other not, it's weird and troubling....
- Both circumcised...
Talk : : April 29, 2011
DH walks around naked and pretends his penis is talking to DC. I think it's too weird and want him to stop. WWYD?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.29.11, 08:24 PM Flag ]-
OMG, I can not stop laughing. I mean the kind where your whole body shakes silently. I just can't stop. Please tell me this is fake.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 08:28 PM Flagwhen his penis gets upset with DC does he flick his balls at him?
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 08:32 PM FlagDH and DS think its funny. Its certainly likely to help DS feel good about his body. And you don't have a decent argument against it.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 08:45 PM Flaglike a little boy needs any more reasons to feel good about his penis. name ONE boy from birth to death who isn't just madly in love with the penis (even if Daddy's didn't talk to him in a funny voice.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 08:53 PM FlagI'm not a health-care professional, but playing sports/exercising, eating right, some basic hygiene--that's how you help a kid feel good about his body. I don't think having parents using their genitals as a puppet is professionally recommended, but perhaps you should ask your pediatrician just to be sure.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 08:56 PM FlagGee, I would think that someone as informed and intelligent as yourself would be familiar with the concept of 'body image' and the fact that many boys/men feel less than entirely comfortable showing their penis in the locker room. In any case, you still miss the point-- its good fun, and OP has no argument against it.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 10:22 PM Flag
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[+] Does anyone know any good links to pros/cons of circumcising? Expecting DB and I want... 19 replies
- Please circumcise him. If you don't, you'll be depriving your son and husband that beautiful sense of security and contentment that comes from knowing one's penis is just like one's son's/father's....
Talk : : April 29, 2011
Does anyone know any good links to pros/cons of circumcising? Expecting DB and I want something to give DH (who is pro but only because he was circumcised) and want to do my research before DB comes. Thanks.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.29.11, 03:41 PM Flag ]http://www.opposingviews.com/arguments/here-are-the-main-benefits-of-circumcision
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 03:48 PM Flagshoot. I can't remember what I gave DH. I was very non-wacky about it. Once informed, he was fine with not circ'ing. I didn't play the "over my dead body card." My friend's DH was all for circ, she was neutral, but they couldn't go through with it once DB was born.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 03:57 PM Flagpros: less likely to get AIDS if he has unprotected vaginal or anal sex with HIV-positive sub-Saharan women. cons: with a "pro" like that, who cares what the "cons" are?
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 05:47 PM FlagWe circ'd our son bc dh is and afterward we both STRONGLY regretted it. It is really awful and barbaric, their little penis is red and painful for days. If we have another ds, i don't know what we will do bc I am worried he will feel strange if he doesn't look like dad and brother. But if I could do it over again both dh and I agree we would never have cut him.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 05:55 PM FlagYeah, you definitely don't want to be different when your dad or brother is visually inspecting your penis and comparing it to his own. It would be weird and uncomfortable to not be the same, but totally normal and comfortable as long as everyone's got a skin hat OR a lopped-off skin hat.
[ Reply | More ]04.29.11, 06:12 PM Flag
[+] At night, my DH will often sit naked watching television and inadvertently flick his ... 54 replies
- He's not circumcised?...
Talk : : April 28, 2011
At night, my DH will often sit naked watching television and inadvertently flick his balls. It drives me crazy. Anyone else's DH do this? Suggestions as to how to make him stop?
54 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.28.11, 02:47 PM Flag ]-
Did you read my ball flicking post the other night? Is this a fake post?
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 03:07 PM Flag-
my dh is always massaging his balls or pulling at his foreskin like he's trying to stretch it. It drives me BATTY. I tell him STOP THAT and he just says WHAT...it feels good
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 03:11 PM FlagDidn't this already get discussed last night? Weird then, weird now, who cares.
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 03:17 PM FlagWow that is gross. He can't even slide on boxers? That would be 100 times less gross than sitting naked on the couch flicking his balls.
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 03:19 PM FlagI would get him 2 ball sized raquets...there must be a guiness record for testicle tennis.
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 03:22 PM Flag-
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[+] NYC circumcision panic. Leaning in favor (don't want to debate here please). Our pr... 19 replies
- is mazlin doing circumcisions - i know he is not delivering right now...
Talk : : April 25, 2011
NYC circumcision panic. Leaning in favor (don't want to debate here please). Our priorities: Minimize pain as much as possible. Want to be allowed to hold baby during procedure (rather than straps). Safety. Experience. What I don't care about: religious ceremony (though we're Jewish). I've done a lot of searches on this site but I'm still not sure who fits the bill best. THANKS.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.25.11, 11:44 AM Flag ]dorothy greenbaum was great. was willing to make ceremony pretty non-religious. not sure of her views on holding the baby during, but honestly that part was SO short and DB barely flinched. i liked that she was a woman (very grandmotherly) and a pediatrician too.
[ Reply | More ]04.25.11, 11:50 AM Flag-
In NYC, the Obs do the circ and usually in the hospital. Interesting b/c in CA, it was the ped who did it in his office after discharge. Anyway, I'd prefer an OB since they are actually surgeons by training. Usually it is your own OB who does it. Have you asked your OB? Not sure holding db is the best idea though. You WANT db immobilized during this procedure and I promise your arms are not the best place for that.
[ Reply | More ]04.25.11, 11:57 AM FlagNO the OBs don't usually do the circs, and not in the hospital if you're Jewish. We also had a great mohel - Phil Sherman - for both ds. Baby held on a pillow by grandpa in his lap. Literally took like 3 mins., very very little crying (by baby, mommy me initiated 'breakfast wine'). Dr thought it was perfect, never any problems. And Phil Sherman is very very charming and funny and good at alleviating tension and stress.
[ Reply | More ]04.25.11, 12:02 PM Flag
I have watched enough circs in hospital settings to be pretty sure that you don't want to hold your baby while this is going on. It will be safer for him to be on a surface that does not move, and I suspect that your provider whether MD or mohel would not feel safe doing this while you are holding him.
[ Reply | More ]04.25.11, 12:13 PM FlagYou may care about the religious ceremony down the road. Don't be like us that thought it didn't matter so our ds was circum. in the hospital by the OB. Years later we were told that this did not count for our conservative temple. By then our ds was adamant he wanted a conservative bar mitzvah at that temple. (we were willing to go to a reform one where it didn't matter). He had to re-do the ceremony with a mohel (at age 10) which also included a ritual ceremony with a drop of blood (yeah--at age 10 it's awkward to say the least). I didn't care if our ds said no way, but he wanted it. So in the end we should have been less shortsighted about it. FTR, our ds always finds these debates silly too--he doesn't remember any trauma, pain or anything. He has also just gotten his ear cartilege pierced and thinks he may go for other piercings as well (he's now 19).
[ Reply | More ]04.25.11, 12:57 PM FlagAfter much extensive research with friends and some doctors that we know - we chose Rabbi Moshe Chaim Friedman (google him). He uses anesthetics to minimize tha baby's discomfort, and is by far the most amazing mohel ever. He even returned the next day to our home to personally remove the bandages and to check the healing. He has many raving reviews online and we couldn't have been happier.
[ Reply | More ]04.28.11, 09:38 AM Flag
[+] What do you guys think about ear piercings on a baby - I swear my friend's baby has ... 84 replies
- and possible source of infection in their bodies. Male baby circumcision is equally horrible....
- Do you feel the same way about circumcisions? If not, why not?...
- yes circumcisions aren't right either. They should make the decision...
- How do you feel about circumcision?...
Talk : : April 20, 2011
What do you guys think about ear piercings on a baby - I swear my friend's baby has an infected piercing (bright red ear) and it just reminded me of how cruel and unnecessary this practice is and I just don't see the point. The next thing will be tattoos for babies.
84 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.20.11, 08:43 PM Flag ]piercing a baby's ears ensures that that baby will end up on a stripper pole.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.11, 08:46 PM Flagi think parents who do this to their baby girls are trashy and mean.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.11, 09:13 PM FlagI'm going to BARGE in on this post and complain about the huge-ass flower headbands people put on their baby's heads. They are not cute people! Makeup, piercings, headbands on newborns are putting them on a track towards beauty pageants. Have you SEEN toddlers and Tiaras??
[ Reply | More ]04.20.11, 09:29 PM FlagBeing beauty pageants and princess is different. I don't like either of them. Read this book," Cinderella ate my daughter". It is all Disney's commercial policy. you can't blame only parents for that. It is consumer culture. Ear piercing on babies is horrible then these tiara's. Poor babies have no say and you are putting a hole and possible source of infection in their bodies. Male baby circumcision is equally horrible.
[ Reply | More ]04.20.11, 10:23 PM Flag-
Often it's a cultural thing - my nanny is Brazilian and pierce the baby's ears at moment go. A lot of Italian people do it, too. Not my gig but who cares. Not my biz.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 04:02 AM FlagMy mom pierced mine when I was an infant. Never worked a pole a day in my life. I don't remember the incident, if that helps nd I don't feel scarred for life or anything. It was the 70's and I think the norm in many parts of the good ol' us of a.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 04:57 AM Flag-
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Asian mom here and my parents pierced my ears when I was 6 mos old. No stripper pole experience here either. Actually, I went to a TT HS, Ivies for college and grad school, and have a cushy professional job. Have not pierced my 2 DDs ears because my DH was against it, but would have been happy to do so. In fact, I would have preferred to pierce their ears young, because then it would have been no big deal. As opposed to the drama we have now, where DDs constantly debate whether they should get their ears pierced.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 07:47 AM Flag
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If you don't like it, then don't do it. Some people have been doing it for hundreds of years.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 05:17 AM Flag-
In South Asian families, girls have their ears pierced when they are 1 years old. Actually, traditionally they pierced boys ears as well (I think around that age), but that custom has mostly died out. Its a sign of beauty. Definitely not impending stripper-hood. I personally think the babies look adorable with their little earrings. Also, traditionally the earrings that were used did not have posts that stuck out in the back of the ears. The gold posts had these little flat caps on them, for lack of a better description, so they didn't really poke.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 06:11 AM Flag-
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No i meant your as in your dog. Your tacky. I'm saying its your tacky.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 07:11 AM FlagMy tacky what? Learn to write English properly, you moron. I'll bet that when, as a baby, your ears were pierced, the needle slipped and went into your brain.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 08:02 AM FlagI was 4 actually, i remember it i was so scared and then i didn't even realise they had finished. And you use english properly you stupid yank, its MUM.... and you guys always seem to forget the u's in everything whats with americans and their fear of u's. Did some u's escape the word and kill your father.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 04:37 PM Flag
You can't possibly be a real UrbanBaby poster- are you really this ignorant? Are you trying to spook me out with your aggressive Buffalo Stance? Little girl, please!
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 08:04 AM Flagof course i'm a real urbanbaby poster you fool, what website do you think i'm posting on, surely it can't be urbanbaby. No i'm not ignorant i'm the smartest person on this whole freakin board besides i do not care at all what silly self obsorbed rich manhattan old women think of me. Aggressive Buffalo Stance? We don't say that here, whats a buffalo? Is it like a tiger? Na you little girl! Grow up.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 09:44 PM Flag
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I am from latin america and it is the norm here. My dd (3) however does not have earings since we live in NYC and here anyone with pierced ears at that age is from the ghetto.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 07:39 AM Flag-
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I think to each his/her own. My professional parents pierced my ears when I was a baby. Like the Asian mom who posted above, I also went to TT everything (HS, Ivy undergrad, Ivy grad school x2, etc.) and have a terrific career. It has nothing to do with how you turn out as an adult. I don't personally like those flower headbands, and am glad not to have seen myself in those! But whatev, to each his/her own, like I said.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 08:28 AM FlagI pierced my six-month old baby's ear...it's common practice in Asian families (my family believes it's better to do it now so that they don't remember the pain), but I guess you think I'm trashy or low-class even though I'm a seven-figure earner, HYP-educated professional educated in boarding schools and speaks 3 languages - whatever! Who are you to judge the practices in someone else's culture? Hey, I can flip the script and say that moms who don't pierce baby's ears are either dull/boring or sort of sadistic (later on when they're older, they'll feel the pain anyway) - for the record I don't think this way -- point is, just because it's not for you doesn't give you the right to judge others.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 09:58 AM FlagHideous and tacky if done for fashion. Fine if done for religious/cultural reasons.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 11:17 AM FlagSo when you see a 2 yo girl with earrings on the playground, or walking by you on the street, how are you going to tell whether it was done for fashion or for religion/culture?
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 11:21 AM FlagHow do you ever know the difference? Fashion is inherantly tied to culture.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 01:15 PM Flag
I know it's common in some cultures but I think it's super tacky. Of course I wear blood diamonds and CLs (on occasion) so don't ask me!
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 02:48 PM FlagI might be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that you don't mix much with people of different ethnicities or from different cultures. Just guessing, because otherwise you would be judging your friends about all kinds of things that are different from your norm all the time.
[ Reply | More ]04.21.11, 04:16 PM Flag
[+] Does/did your newborn cry every time he/she peed? My ds does and I am worried it is ... 24 replies
- little guy has an infection. It must be from the circumcision. My son was circumcised and I don't think he cried when he peed. Does the area...
- np Circumcision has certain health benefits, too (including for future partners--not that any of us...
- Both of my boys were circumcised and none of them cried when peeing. Yes, they were fidgety when wet...
Talk : : April 17, 2011
Does/did your newborn cry every time he/she peed? My ds does and I am worried it is the cicumcision.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Moreit is NOT normal for a baby to cry everytime they pee. Geesh, do you cry everytime you pee?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 03:24 PM Flag-
then you would be wrong. it is not normal for a one day old, two day old or 5 year old to cry when they pee
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 03:26 PM FlagOur pediatrician just called back and says it is not unusual. Or is she wrong too?
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 03:37 PM Flag-
Of course its normal after circumcision. If someone ripped off skin from your vag you would most certainly cry every time you peed for a few days. My college roomate contracted genital herpes and was in such excruciating pain when she went to the bathroom during an outbreak that she held it for alomost 24 hours! Use some common sense ladies.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 06:18 PM Flag
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Sounds like he has an infection from when you had his genitals mutilated and ds is in excruciating pain.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 03:37 PM Flag-
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np: sounds like the little guy has an infection. It must be from the circumcision. My son was circumcised and I don't think he cried when he peed. Does the area look very red and infected? FYI- I kinds of feel badly that my son went through what he did- he must have felt tortured. Not good.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 03:52 PM Flag
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New parents really cannot wrap their heads around the baby being a real person. Yes. The baby is human and no--it is not normal to cry every time you pee. LOL. hilarious.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 05:02 PM FlagMy DD use to cry before peeing too. Went to Ped, nothing wrong but was told she would be easy to potty train since she is so aware of her need to pee. 18 month later we are singing the potty song with great success. Sounds like he is very aware of his need to pee and trying to tell you if anything like my DD. Best check it out of course but you could have a very aware baby. GL
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 06:17 PM FlagBoth of my boys were circumcised and none of them cried when peeing. Yes, they were fidgety when wet, but if I took the diaper off they peed all over the place and no crying. A lot of babies just don't like to be wet (who would?) so my guess is that it's nothing. But definitely call your pediatrician, or even go in to the office.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 06:23 PM Flag
[+] Spinoff post: What does everyone think about the burqa ban in France? 100 replies
- think very few women choose to wear it. I think most are forced to wear it. So I agree with the ban. It can still be worn in the privacy of your home. societal pressure is very powerful. In Africa some women claim to want female circumcision, but they are being pressured by society. Women may say they want to do these things but I believe if they had a choice they would stop....
Talk : : April 16, 2011
Spinoff post: What does everyone think about the burqa ban in France?
100 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.16.11, 12:26 PM Flag ]French people are a unique breed. Clannish, but sort of cute, vicious when cornered, lazy. Like otters, or minxes.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:27 PM FlagAs much as I disagree with women being forced to cover themselves up, there is something unsettling about a free country dictating what a person can and cannot wear.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:29 PM FlagYou know that some women choose to do this - it's not all at the hand of a controlling man. I'm not a fan either - but I understand different cultures.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:31 PM FlagJust like black people "chose" to be domestics long after slavery ended in this country.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:32 PM FlagNot or, but please don't use that 'culture' excuse. It was once part of our culture to keep slaves. That doesn't make it right.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:32 PM Flag-
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really? you seriously see no difference at all? Ok: (1) religion is a choice, race is not; (2) there are no laws forcing anyone to be any particular religion, and there were laws forcing certain people to be slaves; (3) you couldn't legally STOP being a slave even if you wanted to (underground rr doesn't count -- wasn't legal to use it), whereas you can legally stop being or start being whatever religion you want; (3) some people voluntarily choose the burqa. there is no documented volunteering for slavery that I'm aware of, and the list goes on.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:18 PM FlagIf you think these women who were born into this "religion" have any "choice" in the matter, I have a bridge to sell you.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:20 PM Flagthe point is that there is no LAW requiring them to do one thing or the other. That is a critical and fundamental difference from slavery.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:21 PM FlagSo when an American woman stays with a man who repeatedly beats and abuses her because she is terrified of the consequences if she leaves, do you consider that a "choice" too?
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:24 PM FlagActually, it is a choice. One that I don't condone, but it's a choice because there are laws to protect her if she does leave. And you wouldn't BELIEVE the number of women who, even RECOGNIZING the choice they have and having escaped their abusers, choose to go back!
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:29 PM Flag
When someone is brainwashed into this lifestyle from birth, their choice is essentially removed. You cannot legally walk away from your Muslim family under Sharia Law without dishonoring your family, and and running the risk of being killed. You are blinded by your political correctness.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:22 PM FlagThat may be unfortunate for some women, but that does NOT make it tantamount to slavery. and I think it dishonors peoople who really were slaves to suggest as much. This is not a queston of being PC, it's a question of understanding the difference between choice (even if you were brainwashed) and LEGALIZED servitude.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:25 PM FlagUm, to the brainwashed (and threatened with their lives), there IS no difference. And let's not forget that the female indentured servitude IS the law in most of the Middle East.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:28 PM FlagThere is a legal difference. And that's incredibly significant. Because if she ever wakes up and changes her mind, she has options. Not so with slavery.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:30 PM FlagOur society condemns domestic violence and we have havens to help victims. Most DV victims have family members they could reach out to and a support system (counselors, friends) to help them. Muslim women have none of these things because they will be cast out by everyone they have ever known.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:39 PM Flag
Thank you for trying but I think you're dealing with PITA harvard lawyer. She likes to show how well educated she is by pointing out that legally there's a difference. But isnt law review, it's the real world. The fact of a legal choice is not relevant to anyone but you.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 08:04 PM Flag
What choice is it if you disgrace your family by leaving and your husband has the right to take your children away and murder you? How are you possibly this naive?
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:29 PM Flaghow are you possibly so naive to say that a woman who chooses -- for whaver reason -- to live in a certain way is exactly the same as people who legally had no choice or remedy at all? i'm not saying it's right, i'm just saying it's not slavery.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:34 PM FlagNot when your entire social structure within that more liberated country is wrapped up in Islam. Civil laws notwithstanding, the male members of your family feel perfectly justified in killing you for "dishonoring" you, and believe me, you are keenly aware of this. Go ahead. Just try to run. You know in the end, they WILL get you. And they don't care about the civil consequences, because they're doing it ... for GOD!
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:39 PM FlagI'm not really speaking to any laws other than the US since i don't have the knowledge to do so. But I wouldn't be comfortable with housing any aspect of the justice system in a religious context, and I don't think it would be legally recognized here given the deep cultural significance regarding the sep of church and state.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:46 PM Flag
It is not a "choice" in the traditional sense of the word. Their entire social structure is working against them. Muslim women who go out on their own are often ostracized by their family, friends, and everyone they ever knew. They have no marketable skills and no ability to find a job. Their husbands and fathers can beat and possibly kill them with no repurcussions. I appreciate your sensitivity about comparing it to slavery, but please understand that it is not that simple to say they have a choice. Please read "The Caged Virgin".
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:33 PM Flagnp. Not just their husbands and fathers, either. Their own sons. Their nephews. Their uncles. Anyone even tangentally related to the family. Hell, even the husband's friends (after, of course, they have their own fun with her). After all, it's all in the name of preserving the family's (the MAN'S) "honor".
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:35 PM Flag
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Right. Because even in this country, if they didn't "choose" to do this, they'd get their ass beaten by their "dear" husbands when they got home, and possibly raped by their sons, as the "just" punishment for "dishonoring" the family by showing her face and a lock of hair in public.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:33 PM FlagBeating and rape are illegal in this country - in case you didn't know.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:45 PM Flag-
But if they disgrace their families by looking at an unrelated male, don't they essentially deserve to be beaten?
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:51 PM FlagWell, yes. They were asking for the beating. And you have to remember, it's a cultural thing. While a beating is viewed as a violent and negative thing through the Western lens, it's really a manifestation of the man's love for his wife. It's also part of the cleansing process for her sins.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:53 PM Flag
our courts are not ruled by sharia law. so if this happened in this country and the woman sought to enforce her rights, she would win. period.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:19 PM FlagLOLOL. She'd be dead before she made it to her lawyer's office.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:21 PM Flagyou can dream up all the hypothetical scenarios you want, but the fact of the matter is that there are laws to protect her and others that trump sharia law, and anyone who really wants to take advantage of it will do so. Just like domestic violence victims do.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:24 PM Flag1) Yes, criminal law still trumps Sharia law in France and the US, but not in many other countries. 2) What do you not understand about the systematic brainwashing of these women?
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:27 PM FlagYour ignorance of domestic violence is frightening. You clearly have no idea how many women stay in abusive relationships because they fear for the consequences for themselves and their children. Go file a restraining order against someone and let me know if you feel safe. You are naive.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:28 PM FlagI actually have a very, very good idea about it. and what I know -- from personal observation -- is that women who want to break from domestic abusers can absolutely do so as there is no LAW preventing them. You could not wake up one day and decide you didn't want to be a slave. That's the difference.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:32 PM Flag
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There is no real choice when a woman believes that this is what she is supposed to do because she has been brainwashed since birth.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:34 PM FlagI'm the poster who is resistant to calling this slavery. Another problem I have with many of these posts is that people assume that every single woman who decides to wear the burqa is brainwashed and couldn't possibly want that for herself. How on earth do you know that? Maybe some of them really DO embrace that lifestyle. It's like telling someone in the US that they don't REALLY want to be xyz religion. I can well imagine someone telling you to back off because they actually DO want to be that religion, and it's really no one else's business. This is why change has to come from within a community. can't be imposed by outsiders who just "show up to help" by imposing values they decide are the better ones.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:44 PM FlagHave you ever wondered if any southern blacks enjoyed domestic servitude after slavery legally ended? Maybe they didn't feel worthy to sit in the front of the bus either.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:47 PM FlagIt is everyone's business when 50% of a population is being EXPLOITED on a daily basis in the name of religious practices.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:50 PM Flagbut what if they don't see it that way? how many women wearing burqas do you know who have told you how much they wish they didn't have to? there a just a lot of assumptions driving statements like this.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:53 PM FlagWhen a population is systematically brainwashed for thousands of years to believe that they are evil if they attempt to question the structure, and their entire cultural system supports this, it's not that easy to realize that you have options. How many women would continue to remain this way if they had a support system? We don't know because we are too concerned with "minding our business".
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 02:16 PM Flag
Totally agree with it. If you want to live in France, be FRENCH. If you want to live an ass-backwards life ruled by a brutish "religion", God created a hell called the MIddle East just for you.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:31 PM FlagI live in France. I think it's xenophobic and is pretty typical of the current government's tactics of trying to regain popularity by scapegoating immigrants. I also think - this is just an explanation, not a justification - that certain things that we consider fundamental civil rights in the US (absolute free speech, freedom of expression, etc.) are not considered as such in France.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:32 PM FlagI am on the fence because it does seem to be a violation of individual rights, however, I think it is in the best interest of society to protect that class of women.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:36 PM Flag-
What happens the day someone decides to start systematically oppressing 50% of the population in the US? Apparently, all they have to do is say that someone wrote a book telling them to do so and it will all be A-OK.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 12:41 PM Flag-
I encourage all women who are interested in these issues to read "The Caged Virgin" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. It is a very interesting perspective from a woman who has dedicated her life to this topic.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:00 PM FlagI think it is ridiculous. Apparently no religious freedom in France.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:17 PM FlagThey're free to practice their religion. They are NOT free, however, to be a danger to the public.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:19 PM FlagIt's complicated. For the US, religious freedom is a fundamental part of the country's origin. For France, it's almost the opposite - from the revolution through most of the French republic's various manifestations, religion was associated with the monarchy, not with democracy. In the last century, the idea of French democracy has actually been very hostile towards religion (not the separation of church and state, but sometimes even the opposition of church and state). Add xenophobia and islamophobia to the mix, and you have things like the burqa ban.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 01:29 PM Flag
The burqa is very oppressive. I think very few women choose to wear it. I think most are forced to wear it. So I agree with the ban. It can still be worn in the privacy of your home. societal pressure is very powerful. In Africa some women claim to want female circumcision, but they are being pressured by society. Women may say they want to do these things but I believe if they had a choice they would stop.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 02:44 PM FlagI like the Burqua. I hear the women wear really kinky undies underneath. It's like the Catholic School Uniform for the Middle East. Sexy in an innocent way.
[ Reply | More ]04.16.11, 07:55 PM FlagWhen it comes to religious freedom, France's point of view diametrically opposes that of the US. If we look back to the French Revolution, let's say, we can trace the philosophy of Republic to protect its citizens FROM the tyranny of religion. While if we were to do the same with the US's history and the role of religion, we might deduce that the US frames religious rights as the freedom OF religion-- and practicing it openly.
[ Reply | More ]04.17.11, 05:44 PM Flag
[+] Hi 135 replies
- So, OP, did you ever go through with the whole joint tonsillectomy/circumcision thing? Did your ds ever notice his foreskin was missing?...
Talk : : April 13, 2011
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Yes...and a seat-stealing Dunkin Donuts patron...who probably didn't actually buy a donut.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 03:38 PM FlagI bet she made fun of Rosie Pope's speech impediment too, didn't she. What a bitch.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 03:43 PM FlagShe did! And then she told us she sat next to a super famous actor on a plane but wouldn't tell us his name. What a tease!
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 04:03 PM FlagUgh. Did she tell you about all the drama surrounding her pregnancy and how she doesn't know if it's her dh's or her lover's?
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 04:11 PM Flag
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Totally not! I'd be sad, except that OP is clearly an obnoxious social striver who uses her 1/16th Native American ancestry to try to claim diversity.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 03:43 PM FlagNever mind the fact that the kid only scored 98s across the board and crapped the play date.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 03:46 PM FlagSeriously! What a poor excuse for a dc. And I heard she actually pooped in her diaper during the play date! And a super-smelly one, too! Gross. I mean, what 2yo can't control their bodily functions??? That kid doesn't deserve to be in ANY school!
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 03:55 PM Flag
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Hi, new here, didn't know where to put this. What do you think is the best top-tier private school in NYC, and why? Also, which is better, to stay at home with my kids or work outside the home? TIA ladies.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 04:50 PM FlagYo, newbie. BBC is two clicks back. Get out while there's still time.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 04:52 PM Flag-
Ok, just don't tell us about your plan to put a second story on your ranch in Minnesota.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 05:03 PM FlagI think you are jealous because you have a tiny apartment and your 2yo and 11yo dcs have to share a room.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 05:24 PM FlagWell I have 13 dcs, 3 dogs, 2 cats, a canary, and dh, all in a studio. So all you people saying it isn't possible to raise 457 children in a studio on $12k a year in manhattan, I'm here to tell you it can be done. Just send your kids to public and dont eat, sleep, pee, or breathe.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:54 PM Flag
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Quick question: is $2.8mm HHI enough to live in NYC (Manhattan)?
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 05:04 PM Flag-
So, OP, did you ever go through with the whole joint tonsillectomy/circumcision thing? Did your ds ever notice his foreskin was missing?
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:15 PM Flag-
Oh go back to obsessing about your beef curtain and leave us alone
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:40 PM FlagWhat's a....oh, never mind. Yeah. I'm going to get that fixed during my Mommy Makeover where I'm also going to address my saggy tits, saddle bags, facial wrinkles (Hellooooo botox!), and watermelon belly. The doc is going to give me a deal. Everything for $3500. But, I have to fly to Brazil and leave the kids with my dh for three weeks. It'll be fine, right?
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:44 PM FlagIt's a perfectly normal part of aging, thank you very much. And having a child pass through your labia. But I don't have to worry about any of that, now that I just use duct tape.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:50 PM Flag
Wait, I know you!! You are the witch that did not want to get up and let the old lady ad Dunkin donuts sit down. I would recognize you anywhere!
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:51 PM FlagHi Trinity shut out, Dalton shut out, Speyer shut out, Brearley shut out, St Anns shut out, HM shut out
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 06:57 PM FlagHarumph, well, it doesn't matter because I'm HYP alum so my kids will get into one of those on legacy alone. And then one of their bitchy HS friends will read about it while perusing my obit and complain to an anonymous board....while she's trekking through the Bhutan.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 07:04 PM Flag
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I love UB. Y'all are the BEST. I learn the most amazing things here. Who knew that Jelly rolls weren't kosher for Passover?? Unless they have no wheat in 'em or sumthing like that. Idk, I never met a Jew until I moved to NY. I always thought they had horns on their heads. They don't!!! Can't wait to tell my pa back on the farm.
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 07:23 PM Flag
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How do I prove my sister did not really break her leg? Like, is there a way to get her cast off and inspect her leg while she is asleep? And then put it back on again before she notices?
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 08:00 PM Flag-
I just give my kids (all boys) ages, 8.3, 6.4, 4.5, 2.1, & .9 DS's all day, breakfast, lunch and dinner and when ever else they want to play them, flame away but they are very active and you with DD's just don't get it. My real problem is the school will not allow them to have them all day in school, should I talk to the principal (won't return my emails) or go to the DOE??
[ Reply | More ]04.13.11, 09:02 PM Flag-
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[+] 3yo son having tonsillectomy tomorrow. I'm freaking out. Any advice? 13 replies
- don't have him circumcised at the same time without telling him!...
Talk : : April 05, 2011
3yo son having tonsillectomy tomorrow. I'm freaking out. Any advice?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | More04.05.11, 10:26 AM Flag ]As an expert on children's surgeries (mine have had many), pls. don't worry--this is routine--it'll be sore for a day or two and all will be forgotten. I gave each of my kids a small lovey they could take into the OR--I waved bye-bye and soon they were back. The hardest part is not giving food/water in the morning--both my kids liked their bottle or juice first thing and the wait once we got to the hospital was hard. Have lots of books, toys to occupy them pre-surgery and you'll be OK.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.11, 10:51 AM Flagare they being shaved or removed? It really wasn't that bad for dc. But don't let him drink too much when she wakes up from sedation- dd threw up.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.11, 10:54 AM FlagI had my tonsils and adenoids taken out when I was 4 and I stayed overnight. I recall feeling very tired and my throat being sore, but mostly recall it being kind of "cool". I got to eat a lot of popsicles, watch as much TV as I want, and everyone made a big deal out of the whole experience.
[ Reply | More ]04.05.11, 11:25 AM Flag-
don't have him circumcised at the same time without telling him!
[ Reply | More ]04.05.11, 12:12 PM Flag
[+] About a week ago I was debating about circumcision. I got so many responses but here... 14 replies
- What? This make absolutely no sense to me. But don't have yourself circumcised if you don't want to be (although unless you're a hemaphrodite I can't imagine how...
- ITA! One of my friends was thinking about circumcision, and even though she knows the whole debate, the idea that won her over to the circumcision side was "I like how circumsized penises look better." We chose NOT to circumcize, and I...
Talk : : March 31, 2011
About a week ago I was debating about circumcision. I got so many responses but here is the one that won me over: "Well, since some men prefer a tight vagina, should we stitch our daughter's vagina up." Now I am really comfortable with my decision about not to circumcise. DH agrees. Thanks to the poster of the above comment!
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More03.31.11, 03:41 PM Flag ]however you came by your decision, I'm very glad for your son and your family.
[ Reply | More ]03.31.11, 04:17 PM FlagITA! One of my friends was thinking about circumcision, and even though she knows the whole debate, the idea that won her over to the circumcision side was "I like how circumsized penises look better." We chose NOT to circumcize, and I was aghast at how she said that. Like, what grown mother is going to be looking at her son's grown penis?! Seriously. Gross.
[ Reply | More ]04.07.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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