My friend David has had his first post-divorce dating misadventure and he is already confused. It seems that he was surprised that women no longer want to sleep over after “doing the do.” I felt bad for him because he took it personally and worried that he did something wrong.

Everyone has “the morning after” or post-hook up behavior and rituals. It doesn’t always mean something good or bad. Sometimes women won’t feel like cuddling, talking, or even hanging around long (I know that sounds like the perfect woman to some men!) – you can rarely predict that kind of thing though.

Have you ever been confused about something a person did after you hooked up with them?

Do you think that it was solely because sex was involved?

Do you have any post-hook up patterns that you didn’t notice you had until someone called you on it?

Do you act differently afterwards?

Continue reading Experiencing post-hook up weirdness? »

Have you ever met someone and liked them so much you wanted to fast forward through the awkward and unknown phase? It’s tricky because you don’t want to go too fast and you don’t want to back off either. Is there a way to balance it out and go at a nice and steady pace?

I think that when you are speed dating, you end up alluding to, or bringing up sex in a way that could come across as too eager. A lot of guys want to smash before date three. I’m sure some men would say they experience the same urgency with the women they meet too. What is the big hurry!?

I remember one guy once telling me that he expected to close the deal before he would even consider a relationship. I gave him my best “But…but..we just met” response. That is when I learned that you should date the people that want the same things that you do..in the same time frame. It’s not as easy as it sounds!

How do you handle it when you are seeing someone you really like but they are pushing things too fast? …

Continue reading Are you guilty of speed dating? »

A reader emailed me about a relationship issue she is dealing with now that she has moved in with her man. He spends a great deal of time and money on “adult entertainment” and it bothers her.

She thinks that now that she lives with him, he shouldn’t need those extracurricular activities! She wants to know: Should she let him know that it bothers her? Is it unfair to ask him to reduce or eliminate his consumption?

I can relate since I once dated a dude with trashbags full of his favorites. Trash. Bags. Full. Yeah, that was one of many reasons things didn’t work out between us. Truthfully, I never actually told him that bothered me and I regret that.

I want to help our reader out because I’ve been there before and my response was to ignore it. I don’t think that is “wise” at all, so what do you guys think?

What would you do if you were in either position? Would you bring it up if it was the other person’s unhealthy fixation?

Would you be bothered if someone told you …

Continue reading Triple Extracurricular Activities »

When a single woman suddenly realizes she has an entire collection of guy friends, she probably will wonder, “Why aren’t I dating any of my amazing guy friends?!”

I think being just like one of the guys has it’s perks, but what should a girl do when all she gets invited to are boy’s night out? Once a guy perceives a girl as a homie, one of the guys, could she ever make him see her differently?

Guys do men like women who are cool and non-girly? If these are the types that seem low maintenance, why is it hard to ask them out? Why go for the high maintenance type if being like one of the guys is a positive thing?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Just like one of the guys »

It can be hard to pull off a “blind date” these days. Once you get the person’s full name, you can usually do a little recon on them. Whether it is through mutual friends (six degrees of separation feels like .5 degrees in Atlanta sometimes!) – or a quick Internet search, your reputation can easily be tracked.

This is especially true when you are a raging jerk with anger issues, a conceited, narcissistic moron, or my personal favorite married but still looking chump. If you have a laundry list of romantic crimes, eventually it may ruin your chances with someone you actually like.

I used to wonder if the singles who treated people so horribly would ever have to answer for all those dating misadventures. Do they ever think about or care about their dating reputation?

Have you ever done a google search for your name to see if something unfavorable pops up? Do you ever worry about your romantic past haunting your future?

If you had to guess, what kind of dating reputation do you …

Continue reading What about your dating reputation? »

In the midst of a heated argument, my friend “Sara” was taken aback when her boyfriend said something really hurtful. Not only was it insulting, he ended it by calling her a name – not the sweet kind – the “C” kind.

She is pretty shook up by it for a couple of reasons: This was their first big relationship fight; he didn’t seem that remorseful; she wonders if these below the belt verbal jabs are a sign of something deeper. How would you handle this?

Have you ever said something hurtful to the person you are dating or married to? Do you think there are certain lines you just should not cross when you are having a disagreement?

Has someone ever gone too far and said something awful to you? How can you tell when it is verbal abuse and when it is just “fighting unfairly” in an argument?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Fighting unfairly a red flag? »

If you know anything about economics, you are familiar with supply and demand. It means something of value is desired and in demand. Then supply is how much the market can offer said desired/demand.

It doesn’t sound all that romantic but many consider dating, sex, and marriage as part of the “sexual economy” and apparently sex is a cheap commodity.

I recently read an article that said society puts a price tag on sex. We may or may not realize it, but we participate in it. Interestingly enough, with so many casual hook ups, friends with benefits, it’s complicated type of “situations” – we somehow have a twist on supply and demand in the sex market. Sex is easy to get and individuals aren’t always looking to exchange it for marriage or relationships.

Now, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Does it depend on what you want?

If you don’t like the current climate of the sex market, what do you do?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading Economy of sex: supply and demand? »

I used to listen to the soundtrack for the film Best Man incessantly. I especially loved Lauryn Hill’s (*ahem* Miss Hill) remake of Turn Your Lights Down Low. This was before my intense Bob Marley phase, so I was unsure of the actual lyrics of the song.

For the longest time, I thought “I’d love you jobless” was being sung. I know, how weird right? Who would put that in a song?!

To be honest, I think I could love a jobless man. I don’t know if that makes me a romantic or slightly naive. Am I silly to think that love can conquer a 9.2% jobless rate? Perhaps!

I’m not saying it would be a cake walk, of course. I just believe it is something we can work on and get through together. That is what grown ups do right?

Recently, Forbes Women and Your Tango surveyed women – asking
if they would marry an unemployed man, 75% said they would not. Although, I don’t know if unemployed men who have marriage as their immediate goal.

What do you think? With our modern attitudes about …

Continue reading I’d love you jobless! »

Have you ever met someone online, had great “virtual” chemistry, but when you met them in real life there were no sparks? I think this is a leading cause of online dating apprehension!

What do you do when you are disappointed in the lack of interest after a meet up?

I think meeting dates online is most effective when you both sense compatibility and then arrange to meet soon after. If you are unsure, make it a quick meet up with a group or outing with other people.

If you are going back and forth on Facebook, texting one another all the time, you could easily fall into a false sense of attraction. These
activities can be great but they do not substitute genuine attraction. The kind that happens when you spend quality time face to face.

What do you think? How do you know when the online chemistry is real and worth the effort to get a closer look? Is it their looks that let’s you know or something deeper?

Continue reading Online dating: Is it only virtual chemistry? »

You end one relationship and hopefully take some wisdom into the next one. What can we do avoid the same pitfalls that torpedoed the last relationship?

My friend Ben thinks his last relationship ended mainly because of his hectic new job that involved a lot of traveling. He believes that his new relationship will benefit from the lessons he learned about balancing work and home life.

Do you think you get to correct the wrong moves you made in past
relationships?

How have your dating and relationship experiences contributed to your personal growth?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

If your current significant other met you years ago do you think you would have been a good match for them?

Continue reading Relationships: Do we improve for the next one? »