'The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business' Throws Contestants to the Sharks
By Joe Reid, The Set | Tuesday, February 22, 2011, 6:22 AM
Jeans on the Beach: The "Unfinished Business" included packing shorts.
CBS.com
Last night, "The Amazing Race" kicked off its 18th season with a cast of all-stars who, frankly, don't seem very all-starry. So instead, the show branded this edition of the race as "Unfinished Business." Because none of these teams has ever won before! Oh, let Phil explain:
The show would have you believe that all of these teams were eliminated by some cruel and unusual spin of the wheel of fortune — and in some cases that's true. Zev and Justin lost their passports, Kisha and Jen took a pee break while running to the pit stop, Amanda and Kris got U-turned. But that's kind of how the race works? And most of the teams that came back just straight-up lost? But sure, strictly speaking these people have unfinished business: the business of winning a million dollars.
Flight Time, or The Amazing Myocardial Infarction
After searching through a field for paper airplanes marked "QANTAS," the teams flew to Sydney, only the lead plane had to get diverted to Honolulu because someone non-"Race"-affiliated had a heart attack onboard. Everybody on this flight talked about how this meant the second plane would get to Sydney before theirs, but Big Easy said the important thing is that the guy was okay. Because Harlem Globetrotters are kind and considerate toward all. Unless the heart-attack guy was a Washington General, in which case Flight Time and Big Easy would spin a basketball in front of his face and then yank his shorts down.
Roadblock, or "There'll Be No Accusations, Just Friendly Crustaceans Under the Sea"
The Roadblock that sent team members into a shark tank was kind of a bust, despite the promise of "a stingray the size of a queen-size mattress." Nobody really had much difficulty, though Vyxsin (of "Kent and Vyxsin: Dating Goths," which is still hilarious six seasons later) struggled some. More challenging was trying to decipher a code phrase from rows of flag streamers. Which is why it was such a crock that so many teams basically gave away the answers, either to teams they were buddies with (Zev and Justin's charity to the Globetrotters) or teams that straight-up begged (Margie and Luke, you're better than that).
Business: Unfinished
I guess it's better that Gary and Mallory finished first and grabbed the Express Pass (which lets them skip a task at some point in the future), rather than, say super-boring Amanda and Kris. Is Mallory's Ellie Mae-on-speed routine really supposed to be adorable? I am dubious.
And speaking of southern-accented Racers who aren't as lovable as the show wants them to be: cowboy-twink-fantasy brothers Jet and Cord (who still get that damned "Bonanza" sound cue) not only failed to decipher the flags correctly, they had yet to realize that there even was a phrase to be deciphered. Lucky for them, the episode ended on a "To Be Continued..." with a whole other leg (including the season's first Detour) before anyone is eliminated. At which point someone's business actually WILL be finished.