Quick, name the one person most unqualified to give Lindsay Lohan life advice (well, other than Michael Lohan). If you said Charlie Sheen, congratulations!

The Two and a Half Men star called in to sports radio show The Dan Patrick Show on Wednesday to, among other things, offer his thoughts about Lohan and her various problems.

"I have some things I'd recommend she'd consider," Sheen said. "Work on your impulse control. Just try to think things through a little bit before you do 'em."

This, from the man who allegedly partied in Las Vegas with a harem of porn stars and a briefcase full of cocaine. The irony is delicious.

(A Lohan insider reportedly told TMZ the actress "appreciates Sheen giving her his support," but doesn't believe she has self-control problems.)

In the eight-minute interview, Sheen acted unexpectedly thankful that his bosses put Two and a Half Men on hold so he could enter rehab.

"People need to understand how supremely grateful I am that someone stepped in here," Sheen said. "I don't want to say who, but, you know, basically, Viacom showed up at my house and said, 'Dude, it's getting really obvious, and we're really worried about you. We don't give a rat's tooey about the show; we care about your health.' So they came in ... and said, 'We have to shut it down.'"

The 45-year-old also claimed he is "100-per-cent" in love with his new girlfriend, whom he did not identify. However, it's likely he's talking about Bree Olsen, the 24-year-old porn star who spent the holidays with him.