Stephen Saint-Onge has done his share of couples counselling.

"Couples will stop me on the street and ask for advice for their homes," says the designer and author of No Place Like Home: Tips & Techniques for Real Family-Friendly Home Design (Wiley, $19.99), "because they know I understand what issues they're facing."

His advice? Keep communication open. And if all else fails, brace yourself to accept your spouse's favourite ugly chair. Saint-Onge gave us his pointers for keeping in sync while designing your first place together.

Q: What's most important for couples to remember when planning a first home together?

A: It is going to be a representation of who they are for the first time - as a couple - not just one over the other, but a home that should truly capture what they are all about as a family. Like in any part of the relationship overall, communication is key.

Q: What's the best way to start figuring out a style that works for both partners?

A: If you have the luxury of time, if you are not moving in tomorrow, I'm all about creating your own look-book together. Simply put, you create a journal or sketchbook that gathers all the things that represent your home style. Start gathering images from magazines, newspapers or advertisements. Maybe a friend's house has a great solution for storage and you snap a picture of it to paste into your book. The point is to have a record of what you like. The book will start to define your style.

And I do think using homes in films is key . . . as (a way) to educate yourselves about design. For example, the film The Holiday with Kate Winslet has several great houses in it. One style is a cottage in the English countryside while the other house featured is a lush, modern mansion in the Hollywood hills. You can watch that film and gain insight into various styles and moods.

Q: How do you combine two apartments' worth of stuff into a coherent whole?

A: One of the biggest issues with most homes in North America is that we have too much stuff. So be proactive before you start combining. It's not about being personal - it's about the task at hand, figuring out which sofa to bring into the new space, what dining room furniture works. You do not want to have to be standing in a room full of both your furniture and stuff in your new home and then have to start paring down.

Q: Is the overall look most important, or does the "nicest" or best quality furniture automatically win out?

A: Certainly if something is rundown or shabby, it is probably best to go with the better option that will last longer. Also, if both options for a sofa or chairs are not great, maybe you sell both and pool the money from the sale into the new sofa.