Brian Viner
Recently by Brian Viner
Brian Viner: 'Like all columnists, I'd rather be abused than ignored by my readers'
Thursday, 18 March 2010
A few years ago in these pages I related an anecdote about a young curate and a fierce dog. It was a funny tale told to me by an elderly clergyman friend who assured me that he had been that very curate, and yet by an unfortunate coincidence the same story had appeared in the Independent's property section just the day before, presented by an estate agent as having happened to him.
Brian Viner: Pity poor Beckham. Actually, don't
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
All good things come to an end. This one might be timed fortuitously
Brian Viner: 'I saw a mouse so large, it may even have been a small you-know-what'
Thursday, 11 March 2010
As a letter to The Independent pertinently pointed out earlier this week,when has there ever been a case of a human-being being hurt by a mouse? This follows the brouhaha over the revelation that most West End theatres are riddled with the little critters – except, no doubt, for the St Martin's Theatre, home of The Mousetrap.
Brian Viner: The name game: from Gerulaitis to Bilyaletdinov via Goolagong
Saturday, 6 March 2010
The Last Word
Brian Viner: Our in-joke barely makes us laugh now. It's just an instinctive one-liner
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Harry Secombe used to sing that if he ruled the world, every day would be the first day of spring, and on Monday, as I motored up the A49 to Ludlow under an intense blue sky, lambs skipping through meadows sparkling with the last of the overnight frost, I knew just where dear old Harry was coming from.
Brian Viner: Bridge must put out flames of fury before he's consumed
Saturday, 27 February 2010
The Last Word
Brian Viner: We have now been in the country for as long as we ever lived in the city
Thursday, 25 February 2010
This summer it will be eight years since we moved to Docklow, north Herefordshire, from Crouch End, north London.
Brian Viner: 'Villages and their pubs seem to have volatile marriages these days'
Thursday, 18 February 2010
There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth here in north Herefordshire – at least among those of us who valued The Bell at Yarpole for its reliably fine food – at the news that it's changing hands as the previous management has pulled le plug.
Brian Viner: 'Slight mistranslations can cause big problems on foreign exchanges'
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Our friends Jane and James have just waved off their 13-year-old son Jack on the school French exchange trip. Jack is spending a week with a family near Grenoble, and later in the year the French child will come to Herefordshire. After a couple of days, Jane and James still hadn't heard from Jack, which they took to be a sign that everything was fine. After all, Jane knows that the French mum is a nurturing type because before Jack left she received an e-mail asking "what does it eat for its breakfast?" Wisely, Jane ascribed this to Madame's slightly shaky English, rather than any inclination to regard the teenage Anglais as inanimate or inhuman.
Brian Viner: 'Uneasy about the free brie and cranberry sandwich, I declined it'
Thursday, 4 February 2010
As a potential topic for The Moral Maze, or even the court of public opinion, my tangle with a ticket inspector on the train from Birmingham to Euston on Tuesday is not up there with Tony Blair's decision to take us to war, or even Fabio Capello's decision on whether or not to sack John Terry.
Brian Viner: Moral vigilantes the FA doesn't need
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Terry's dalliance should not have a bearing on the England captaincy
Brian Viner: 'The English compensate by being unequivocally, boldly kissy in emails'
Thursday, 28 January 2010
The casual social kiss has become the blight of a middle-class Englishman's life. Across the Channel they know precisely what to do, in fact they even have different rules depending on what region you're in, but here we continue to vacillate between the peck on one cheek and the peck on two, with the consequence that even close friends can end up performing an awkward little comedy of manners, with the bloke lurching forward for a second kiss just as the woman turns away to say hello to someone else, or vice versa.
Brian Viner: Poet of the pitch always wanted to be on the field
Saturday, 23 January 2010
The Last Word: 'I can think of nothing more uplifting than standing out there with your anthem being played, and you with your job to do'
Brian Viner: 'It's a weird experience watching actresses audition to be your wife'
Thursday, 21 January 2010
There are probably experiences weirder than sitting in a rehearsal room just off Tottenham Court Road watching actresses read for the part of your wife while the high-spirited singing of what sounds like a group of munchkins carries through from the room next door, but it was hard to think what they might be.
Brian Viner: Turning back clock to Borg’s five-star show is irresistible
Saturday, 16 January 2010
The Last Word
Brian Viner: Smoked in deepest Shropshire, butter for the royal slice of bread
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Our bedroom habits, revealed in this space a week ago, continue unabated and unashamed. I still keep my electric blanket turned up to gas-mark nine every night, and lie there gently sizzling while Jane reads recipes from Florence White's remarkable collection, Good Things In England.
Brian Viner: Golden Bear's not too old to score a handsome 70
Saturday, 9 January 2010
The Last Word
Brian Viner: Sledging by the pig farm beats going to school
Thursday, 7 January 2010
The view from the country
Brian Viner: 'We listen to the weather forecast to get an idea of conditions in the corridor'
Thursday, 7 January 2010
It's all very well living in a big old house in the country, high enough to see for 60 miles on a clear day, but wintry weather can be a challenge. We sometimes had to cope with blizzards and snow drifts before we moved to Herefordshire, but not on the journey from the bedroom to the bathroom. And I exaggerate only slightly. There have been several mornings in the past fortnight when Jane and I have woken up to find frozen condensation about half an inch thick on the inside of our bedroom window, although it at least acts as a kind of double-glazing, keeping the wind out. The last time gales brought the power cables down, and we were without electricity for 24 hours, a force eight from the general direction of the chest of drawers kept extinguishing the candle on my bedside table. It's not everyone who listens to the weather forecast to get some idea of conditions not so much out of doors as out of bed.
Brian Viner: No trainers but lots of fun – that's arrers at the Palace
Saturday, 2 January 2010
The Last Word
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Columnist Comments
• Mary Dejevsky: No euro rescue will heal the rupture at the Continent's heart
Even the efforts of Merkel and Sarkozy have failed to conceal very real cracks
• Simon Carr: An economic catastrophe – and George is in ecstasy
It's not his fault, and acts as a distraction from his problems
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10 Leading article: More than just a bailout plan for the eurozone
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2 Robert Fisk: Syria slips towards sectarian war
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6 Ian Burrell: Surely viewers deserve better than this?
8 Andreas Whittam Smith: Bankers are to blame for this mess. And they still don't get it
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