If your temps have gone down again, then you can expect your period to begin any time now.  It is normal for your temperatures to drop right before your period begins.  It may be that because you stopped temping on day 16 that the temperature that day was a fluke and was not true ovulation.  Did your mucus sign match with temperature to indicate ovulation?  What I mean is, what if your temperatures really looked like this:
Day 16 98.5
Day 17 97.5
Day 18 97.4
Day 19 97.5
Day 20 98.1
Day 21 98.2

See what I mean?  If that Day 16 temperature wasn’t true ovulation, you may be off by a few days.  You could also have had a luteal cyst form, these aren’t common but they do happen and can extend your luteal phase to 17+ days.

Another guess is that the day 16 spike was not true ovulation and you may not have ovulated at all this cycle.  Since your cycles are just now returning, this is not unusual.  If you didn’t ovulate, then your pregnancy tests would be negative and you might go for 30-60 days without a period.  Eventually your body will gear up, perhaps have a time of breakthrough bleeding, and try again.  Next cycle I would suggest continuing to take temperatures past the first day of temperature rise to make sure you know ovulation has passed. 

I do know some women who get pregnant and cannot get a pregnancy test to come out positive.  With your temperatures being low, that seems unlikely, but it’s something to keep in mind.  It might be worth a blood test in another couple of weeks if nothing has happened, but I think it’s more likely that you didn’t actually ovulate and your body has gone a little quiet again.  When my cycles returned, I had a couple of false starts where I would get a period, then go 2-3 months without another one.  I know this means that you are sort of in limbo for now, but just keep watching and waiting.  Your body will get it together before too long!

I agree with Jennifer.  If you didn’t continue temping after your first spike it’s difficult to draw any conclusions about if you ovulated for certain or not.  Everything she said are things to consider as possibilities at this point!

Is he friends with any Catholic men who have been through this?  I know for my husband (who is Catholic and On-board) it really helped to have that guy friend who understood what it’s like.  Also if his love language is touch or even if it isn’t maybe have that conversation about ways you CAN appropriately be close and see if that extra time cuddling or holding hands etc can be of help for him.  My husband and his friend jokingly call this phase “monk mode” lol Being able to laugh about it at times really helped him get through it.

Maybe I miss read your comment, but you do not have to abstain during nursing.  But if you meant the week or so during the month then you should talk with him about living a chaste life even in marriage.  Sometimes we make sacrifices for the Lord and they are not easy. But hey life’s not all about what we want and what would make us feel good.  Sometimes our culture is too into instant gratification and many men are over sexualized by images in advertising, on t.v. and by the internet.  I suggest getting a copy of Janet Smith’s CD “Contraception Why Not” it can help your husband understand what the marital act is really all about, not what society tells you.  My protestant husband heard the CD, read some articles on the topic and made the decision for us that contraception would not be a part of our marriage.  So it is possible to get your husband on board.  Good luck.

Megan- When I am nursing I go through month long periods of abstinence because my CM is constantly changing.  I think I have a lot of “false starts”. 

I don’t think the issue is his intellectual understanding.  He has gone through the NFP classes with me.  The issue is he feels the hardship is too much.  The worry about making a mistake, the sacrifice, the feeling rejected, etc… 

Guilt doesn’t work either.  He questions the entire concept of “mortal sin”.

Megan, I think it is natural and God-given for a husband to want to have sex with his wife.  It does not appear that he is demanding sex everyday an I get the impression Paige that you have many little ones which may mean the stress level is high?  It can be very difficult and unhealthy on a marriage when too much abstinence is needed—it is not necessarily due to the husband being overly sexualized even scripture says not to be abstinent for too long.

paigeu—

My non-Catholic husband (he’s Jewish, mostly non-practicing) also does not love abstinence, and I also have return-to-fertility after childbirth times of mucus coming and going and not able to apply any “rule” for relations. My lactational amenhorrea is never more than about 4 months, often less (after six children I can say “often!”). My sweetie truly dislikes abstinence much more than I do—while nursing I can honestly say I rarely feel strong sexual desire—but he also respects me, and he knows that there is no other alternative. If I were in the hospital, or something, he would not be able to have relations with me. I will not use artificial birth control, and he does not want to either. Perhaps your husband can understand by going through the options—what would he rather do? You say he has taken the class with you—does he realize that complaining about “his” situation and pressuring you (even if only with his displeasure) is unmanly?? He married a woman, not a male fantasy, and he is being unfair and unreasonable. (I have had this conversation with my husband, so please forgive me if I sound forceful. But there is hope—my husband is so on board that we are a teaching couple for CCL—I think he may be the only non-Christian TC person out there!!) BTW—if your husband would like to discuss this further with my husband, perhaps we can find a way to communicate off-post?

Hi Paige,  My husband barely tolerates NFP, which we’ve done on and off for 11 years.  After this last baby, we started using the Marquette method (nfp.marquette.edu), which has given us huge piece of mind.  He likes the scientific nature of it, as do I!  It may be an expensive start (monitor), but worth it.  Test sticks can be found cheaply on Amazon.  Good luck in your research and faith!

There are several things that can cause low temps and some women are perfectly healthy and just happen to have them.  The easiest place to start if you want to test for a reason would be to look up symptoms of various thyroid problems and see if you fit for that or ask your doc to test your thyroid levels. Be warned that most docs use a much more board scale of what is “normal” in thyroid levels vs what a specialist would do so once you get your actual numbers from the test you may want to do some extra research on your own to be sure, even if your doc says they were “normal”.  Does the rest of your cycle appear healthy?  Is your shift obvious?  Is your luteal phase an acceptable length?  etc.

Have you tried a different thermometer?  Have you tried taking your temperature after being up for a few hours?  I know those aren’t helpful suggestions for NFP purposes, but they are a step towards putting your mind at ease or figuring out if there is something else going on.

You might give your OB/GYN an opportunity to hear your concerns.  You might be surprised how supportive they can be.  I have had two non-NFP only OB/GYNs and they were 100% supportive of my decision to use NFP.  One doctor even went out of her way to say that her patients that use NFP are much more in-tune with their bodies.  Although I expected both OBs to be very anti-NFP, they became my best resources for information. Sometimes, it is easy for us to assume the worst about others, but you’ll never know her opinion until you ask.

I’d also recommend looking at Marilyn Shannon’s excellent book “Nutrition, Fertility, and Cycles.” She has a whole chapter on self-care strategies for low thyroid, low temps., as well as other cycle issues. With non-NFP doctors, you often have to take your health into your own hands and try self-care before they will take you seriously. It’s unfortunate.

I had really low temps like that for a while, it turned out I slept with my mouth open.  Try taking your temp one of the other ways for a while.  After I started taking mine v. I had higher temps but still low and it turned out that I had hypothyroidism.

I don’t have her info, but I’ll certainly pray for you. I have a lot of health problems, too, and some of them leave me bedridden for days at a time. I share your desire to be an active mom and your frustration at having to hand off so many motherly duties to others. You aren’t alone, and YOU ARE A GOOD MOM! Your suffering may help your children in ways you may never know. May God heal you if it be His will and give you the grace to persevere in the mean time.

Love, hugs, and prayers!

Tim- It is out of my price range but I will keep it in mind for tax return time.

I can’t help you, but I know how you feel.  I can’t trust dr’s bc they always say i’m going to die if I have another kid.  That started 3 kids ago.  I just learned that a main part of there job is to keep us contracepting (I was told by one “you just have to find a priest that knows the truth”, and I knew I was being lied in the face to). 
I’m tired all the time and i have a laundry list of medical procedures I’d like to get done if I could stop being pregnant/nursing long enough.
I started chucking NFP for Divine Providence, NFP never actually worked with me with all my med problems, no matter how much I hoped it would.
My DH would like to stop to patch me up, and his parents tell us openly all the time that “you can get dispensation for a vasectomy”  Which I’m fairly certain is false and even if it were true I would just want a break not an end.
I guess what keeps me going is I know this is a phase in life and it will end.  One day I will not be able to have any more babies, even if I wanted to.  And as always I’m just shocked God trusts me with these tiny people.

Kate—

I know many people think of NFP as a hassle and unreliable, but all of our six children were “planned” using NFP and none of my friend’s seven children were planned, with her on the pill, with him having a vasectomy for the last one… I suppose I would rather _know_ what I know and don’t know than rely on Large Pharmaceutical Company and their quality control to “take care” of my issues. I’m the kind of person who prefers things the hard way, because then I feel as if there are greater rewards and pleasures along the way. The single best piece of advice my mother has given me is “This too shall pass.” It applies to the bad times and the good times, the joy and the sorrow, the sick times and healthy times and all the times we have. I try to pray to the Lord to keep me focused on the here and now, with an eye on Heaven which is my goal. My goal is not to sleep through the night, or to get a better figure, or to teach my child to read, or to charm the pants off my husband—those things might be tasks or activities for the here and now, but only if they are serving the greater goal—Heaven for me and for my spouse. Marriage is intended to help us grow in holiness as a couple. Having used contraception, I can tell you right now that never never never again do I have the slightest desire to go back that route. This is much better for my husband and for me. It is not an easier solution—it is a cop-out. I sense ambivalence from you—you say you want a break from little babies, but you also are resentful of your husband stating forcefully that he wants a long break, maybe a permanent one, from more children. I fully recognize our womanly right to be inconsistent, but perhaps there is something deeper here? I know I have resented my husband for being able to impregnate me, and also for not wanting to do so! The key for me is to focus on the goal—and to recognize that the team I am playing for is the team I got—I don’t have the imaginary dream perfect husband who understands me without words and heals my wounds with a loving glance, and who knows that I don’t want to take the children upstairs and get them ready for bed after having been with them all day OR clean up the kitchen after having cooked the meal, I want to go somewhere warm with a good book and a cup of tea and have some private time… Instead, I have to tell him. I have to communicate, which means to make one with words and actions, so that we can love each other and keep working towards the Lord… May the Lord bless you and your husband this day. Shalom!

Due to the nature of our legal system physicians have to inform you of all the risks you have associated with pregnancy and child birth.  I find it hard to believe an MD told you you were “going to die” if you got pregnant again.  They do however need to take a look at your history and say to you due to A you have an increased risk for , B , C or D. (which may include death)

Physicians can’t win either way—either they get sued for not informing someone or people (which I feel is most of the NFP community) rag on them for informing women of the risks they have associated with childbirth.  It seems we would rather have them say everything is fine, trust in God rather than tell us our paper thin uterus could rupture and cause the death of our unborn child and our death.  Trusting in God is essential but that trust needs to be surrounded with wisdom and discernment.

Being close to woman that have been seriously disabled by complications of pregnancy and childbirth has given me the knowledge that things do not always turn out the way we pray them too. And that there are some very real and serious risks that need to be taken inter consideration.

You do also have the freedom to get an opinion from any doc you want.  Different MD’s approach the same problem differently.  Perhaps it is the ones that have had their pants sued off that are more vocal about the risks and I don’t blame them.

In the military you do not always have this freedom to switch dr’s.  The reason I’m upset about the Death threat is because its not valid, I was having severe migraines bc I was on the pill (for endo, before I learned it’s basically unhelpful for that) and had nothing to do with my real health. Every Dr since reads the note in my file and reiterates without actually checking me out at all.  I want real information from Dr.‘s who actually tried to do their job without prejudice against people who trust in God. 
At any rate for the op, contraceptives “fail” too, at least with NFP or DP you don’t have chemicals in your body to give your baby a bad start.