Gadgetzan Times
You No Take Candle!
Allya
Kobold dig through earth and clay
Little light to show the way
Kobold hope that some day
Kobold have his own dark place
Kobold know he look like rat
But Kobold show he more than that
Kobold, he is more like man
Kobold think...so Kobold am
Kobold work for shiny things
Metal that shines and jewels that gleam
Kobold hope that soon he will
Have Kobold smile like Goldtooth's grill
Kobold want to have a life
With Kobold kids and Kobold wife
So Kobold dig and scratch and pick
Below the dirt where air is thick
Beware you heroes who venture in
To take our gold and take our tin
Kobold throw pick, Kobold say:
"You no take candle!"
Not today
The Airstrip
Dalcron"DALCRON!"
Starting awake from his nocturnal state of peace, Dalcron bolted upright in his seat. He used his trusty mooncloth towel to mop sweat from his brow and drool from his beard. Absentmindedly he polished the head of the hula doll, which he called Beka -- remnant of a girl who frequented his daydreams as of late -- mounted to the dashboard of his flying machine.
"DALCRON!!"
This time he realized the voice was not a nightmare, instead the growl came from a tightly wound dwarf -- Indella. Remembering what could happen if not answered promptly, Dalcron bounced from Beka and ran inside. The "shop," formally known as "Dun Morogh International Airstrip Flight Craft Service Center," was comprised of three bays, each a different size, with the largest able to hold even a full-sized zeppelin. Indella paced impatiently in front of a large desk -- human-crafted. The desk was from Stormwind, made with wood from the Elwynn forest. Albeit large, the desk was smooth and unmarred. The grain of the wood flowed along the edges as if the desk was grown and not carved. Surprisingly, humans were not only good for fighting. The desk held a list of dispatches; each dispatch gave a location and service request.
"How could you be late?! You know how important today is! The first time since the arrival of the draenei, we have THIRTY-SEVEN confirmed translocations scheduled. Hurry up! Get ready; you know how much this place needs their gold. At 20 gold per translocation we can't afford to lose these customers!"
Being a warlock wasn't always this demanding. Back before the draenei arrived, most warlocks never translocated anyone they didn't know. Now it seems the perfect business.
"What about the dispatches?"
"I'll have Shib do them. Malcor doesn't fly as fast as your flying contraption but I need you at Stormwind Port with Gidget and Widget before noon."
As if summoned, the two goblins, twins, walked into the first bay with their flight goggles and parachute cloaks ready to make the journey south. Dalcron gave a nod to the energetic pair. A summoning circle takes two extra participants standing perfectly still. Although currently jumping with madcap ambition, the two had astounding self control.
"I don't understand all of the fuss about this new island, Northrend. Sounds like another Westfall if you ask me."
"I don't pay you for your opinion; I pay you for your ingenuity and your spiritual prowess. Now don't forget BOTH of your soul bags. Last time you had to farm shards and we nearly lost 100 gold!"
"I got'em. I have two extra barrels of rocket fuel for the return journey and even some business cards to pass out."
"Good. Now go on, you three; time's short as it is."
After a quick safety inspection and helping the two goblins buckle into their knothide strappings, Dalcron settled into the driver's seat and started the engine. Crack! Sputtle! Brum! Brum! Brummmmm!!!! The rotary propeller lifted into place, the turbines declined to a resting horizontal, and the craft began to rise. Accelerating quickly at first, the craft rose higher and higher. After just a few minutes, the Shop was only a dull brown square in a field of white-capped mountains.
The memories of awe and excitement from his first flight ten years ago were but a faded past. Now, every flight he made was just like getting out of bed; it was something to get him one step closer to his studies. Years and years he had spent digging through manuscripts and codices, each giving more clues and unlocking mysteries that he never thought possible. Every new stranger gave him insight into the spiritual realm and its vast abilities. It was only two years ago that he summoned his first doomguard. Sadly, nothing came cheap and, unlike the fairy tales, most heroes didn't have infinite amounts of gold lying in some cave. Dalcron had spent every last copper on his flying machine and new books. Today's profit would give him just enough to spend a year in Northrend without needing an extra job. He never let anyone know his plans to visit; Indella would be heartbroken, though she might not show it. Dalcron was their best flight engineer but Indella had hired two new trainees just last year. They knew enough to keep the business going and, as always, life would go on.
Last month a fellow mentioned a wizard in Northrend that was supposedly a grandmaster warlock. This had changed all of his dreams of vacationing in Shadowmoon Valley to learn how to summon an infernal. Supposedly, this nameless grandmaster warlock could transform himself into a demonic form! Dalcron slowed the flying machine's speed, Indella's ritual droning about speed and safety replaying in his head.
The Heart of Battle
ShelvisA priest is not the type of person you send into the heart of battle. So what, the enemy has a flag! We have one too and those Silverwing Sentinels should be content with the status quo.
They wanted blood. Fine. Horde will deliver on that request any day of the week.
Except Tuesday mornings.
The battle raged on for what felt like an eternity. They had already swindled two of our guerdons from us, but our assassins and soldiers had already done the same to them. What we thought would be an easy victory turned out to be much more difficult. The elves, it seemed, REALLY wanted a third flag for their trophy room.
The council had gathered in the Warsong fortress, fortified behind tons of stone and the weapons of our Horde. The Sentinels and their ilk kept on pressing, however. The pressure mounted, and our assassins and soldiers fell into infighting and strife. Night was falling, and we knew the elves would not let us rest easy. We had to act. But a priest was not the type of person you send into the heart of a battle.
To hell with arguing!
I made my way into the heart of their citadel. Being the voodoo master that I was, my pouches were clanking with the sounds of preparation. Consuming the last of my truly useful potions rendered me invisible. Luckily they were not prepared for this and I slipped behind their defenses very easily.
Becoming visible once more, I peeked over the edge of the elves' uppermost defenses. I was above them, and they had no clue. I used my powers of clairvoyance to take a look at their positions. No guards at their flag. Time to act...
Over the edge I went. Ripping the pole from its base, I realized how poor of a combatant I truly was. This is why I was a priest. I should never have come here -- alone -- into the heart of battle. They appeared from nowhere, seemingly birthed from the shadows. I was surrounded.
Flag in hand, completely and hopelessly alone, I began the long road to inevitable defeat. My spirit fortified my body even as they slowed me to a crawl with their magics. Chanting prayers, I consistently made my way to the end of their tunnel. Yet even as my escape route came closer, so the killing blow. To my own surprise, I managed to get all four toes (and one tusk) out of their fortress.
That was when she arrived.
Her mohawk tall, and breath spiked with just the right amount of halitosis. Her feline companion caused chaos amongst my enemies' ranks. They walked into her trap, slowed by the newly laid frost. She began to rain arrows upon them. With a fierce cry she empowered us with speed. Legs pumping with unknown strength, we returned to Warsong. Flag in hand. Blood and thunder.
A priest, as it turns out, is the type of person you send into the heart of battle. Let the enemy fly their flag! All it takes is one friend, and we can change the status quo.
October
October 18-31: Hallow’s End
Hallow’s End celebrates the break of the Forsaken from the Scourge. Fun and mischief reign as the innkeepers of Azeroth give treats and tricks to those who stop by, but will the Headless Horseman rise again?
November
November 1-2: Day of the Dead
During the Day of the Dead, people gather in graveyards to celebrate with and cherish the spirits of those they have lost. One can find the festivities in the cemeteries of any major city, where celebrants cook, dance and don costumes, and more.
November 8-14: Pilgrim’s Bounty
Pilgrim’s Bounty is a time to reflect upon one’s good fortune and share with all around you.
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED
Wanted -- 4 other people to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322 Gadgetzan, Tanaris 93022. I have a quest which I can share, it will reward you on completion. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
Murloc Runners
Looking for others to join in monthly murloc chase. We run half dressed from Org to Gad, chasing a murloc all the way. Want to be in the merriment and fun contact Beanshidhe in game mail on Moonrunner. Come join the chase!
Have Sword Will Haggle
Mercenary for hire for anyone level 47 down work time depends on how much yer willin to pay will run instances for free.
Bomb, pickup only
Looking to sell large, unexploded thorium bomb, found strapped to siege catapult after capturing fortress in Wintergrasp. Looks like fuse burned, but never blew. Comes as is, for minor repair or as good luck charm.
Orc Hunter Looking For Work
I am well versed in Monster lore and have traveled to all parts of Azeroth. I have my own weapon but you pay for ammunition. I am open for guard duty or scouting.
WTS Mechano-hog "Mint" Condition
Slightly Used Motorcycle for sale. Must have 435 Engineering or better to operate. Sorry, do not have "Gnomefax" for this, so stop asking me, whatever that is! Slightly "scorched", (don't ask) but otherwise good condition. Showing in front of entrance to Stormwind tomorrow just after first meal time. Horde not welcome and will be dealt with accordingly. 250gp OBO. All Alliance races welcome. Look for druid dancing in Bear Form.
Engineer Looking to Sell
Parachute Cloak. Like new -- Guaranteed to help you and look stylish. Its light design will help your agility and also offers some protection. Item was used once, never opened. Please direct all inquiries to Dalaran First Aide medical ward.
Tauren Looking for New Hawkstrider
I'm a Tauren who bought a pink hawkstrider, tried to ride it, then buried it within a half-hour. Provide me with something sturdier please!
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