Ex-S.F. first lady Angelina Genaro Alioto dies

Angelina Genaro Alioto, matriarch of one of San Francisco's most powerful political families, former first lady of San Francisco and divorced wife of ex-Mayor Joseph Alioto, died of heart failure at her Blackhawk home Thursday, her family said. She was 94.

Mrs. Alioto raised six children in the glare of a political spotlight that she openly detested. She drew national attention when she abandoned her husband for 18 days during his 1974 campaign for governor after he failed to introduce his family at a banquet in his honor.

"She got up to use the restroom and she didn't return," recalled daughter Angela Alioto. "Mom didn't like to be put on the back burner for politics."

At a news conference held upon her return, Mrs. Alioto sat next to her husband and said, "I just want to ... dammit ... to just be introduced. I feel as if the six children and I are cornerstones, places to hang hats. ... I don't want to be used. I want to be wanted for myself."

Angelina Genaro was born in Dallas, the daughter of a wealthy real estate investor and beer distributor. She graduated at the top of her class from the prestigious Aunspaugh School of Art, where she excelled at creating large paintings and portraits, her daughter said.

In 1941 she married Joe Alioto, whom she'd met through a family friend. As Joe's law practice grew and his political profile rose, so did the Aliotos' power and wealth.

The family moved from North Beach into 34 Presidio Terrace, a mansion that came to be a gathering place for the city's powerbrokers.

Mrs. Alioto decorated the estate to resemble what she described as a "Pompeian villa." When her husband became mayor in 1968, the new first lady was celebrated by society columnists for transforming the decor of Room 200 at City Hall from "its bureaucratic style into a forum of French elegance."

Mrs. Alioto also owned an entrepreneurial streak. Without telling her husband, she earned a real estate license and later bought several flats as long-term investments.

In 1969, she opened A. Genaro Antiques on Union Street, a retail outlet "that allowed the artist in her to show through," Angela Alioto said. "There were a lot of price tags, but the joke was that few things actually sold."

Despite her high-profile status, Mrs. Alioto never warmed to the role of a politician's wife. In 1970, she told a staffer she was willing to vote for anyone who had a chance at beating her husband, if it would keep him at home.

The infamous banquet walkout took place in January 1974 in Palm Springs. An all-points bulletin was issued in five Western states before Mrs. Alioto turned up back in the city.

She revealed she'd visited 14 missions in California, figuring few would think to look for her in a church.

The incident cast Mrs. Alioto as a hero to spurned women. "I still hear from women who said they saw that press conference and were moved," Angela Alioto said. "There were a lot of Angelinas born in San Francisco that year."

Less than a year after her return, Mrs. Alioto filed for divorce. She later moved to Blackhawk in Contra Costa County and never remarried.

Joseph Alioto, who remarried in 1978 to Kathleen Sullivan, died in 1998.

In 1976, as Mrs. Alioto's divorce played out in headlines, she told a reporter, "You know, they say behind every successful man is a good wife. That should be, 'By the side of every successful man.' Because if you stand in the shadow of a man too long, you'll wilt. Stand by his side and you'll get a little sunshine."

Mrs. Alioto is survived by her children, Lawrence, Joseph Jr., John, Thomas, Angela and Michael; and several grandchildren, including San Francisco Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier.

There will be a rosary at 8 p.m. Monday and a Mass at 10 a.m. Tuesday at SS Peter and Paul's Church in San Francisco.

E-mail Justin Berton at jberton@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page C - 5 of the San Francisco Chronicle