A painter. A student. A glass blower. A mother. A father. A guitarist. An idiot. Presenting. This. Show.
 
Ryan Seacrest may have stated the obvious at the beginning of "American Idol" Tuesday night, but predictability exited stage left soon after. In a surprising twist, Siobhan Magnus was back in top form this week while Crystal Bowersox exposed her love life for all to see.
 
It was Shania Twain night and in a floral relic from the 1980s, Siobhan clapped her hands to the opening beat of "Any Man of Mine." The 20-year-old Cape Cod native drummed up some good energy, prancing across the stage in kick-butt white docs. Her voice may have teetered on flatness, but the judges loved it. Even Simon - though he compared her last note to someone giving birth - thought it was fun.
 
Siobhan edged Crystal Bowersox out of the top spot, for the first time in weeks. More memorable than Mamasox's performance was the public pressure she put on her boyfriend to pop the question. She sang a honky-tonk version of "No One Needs to Know" and revealed it was a message to her main man.
 
"I'm dropping hints here and there," she said. "He'll man up one of these days."
 
For the first time, Crystal did not blow the judges away. Both Randy and Ellen said she was good, as usual, but it wasn't their favorite performance.
 
"I agree with the guys," Kara said, forgetting that her neighbor was in fact a woman. She proceeded to make a statement that "bigger isn't always better," which Simon twisted into a lewd moment. He then compared Crystal to a "coffee shop band you don't want to hear." He also managed to insult Shania Twain by calling her song "forgettable."
 
Unforgettable was Aaron Kelly. The 17-year-old from Pennsylvania sang "You Got a Way" with excess teen feeling, even swapping out the "make love" lyric so that he could tailor it for his mother. Simon said it was "sincere" and Aaron appeared to tear up for his mom.

Equally impressive was Casey James, who changed up his brooding guitarist schtick with the more lyric-centric "Don't." Performing pretty much in the laps of various female audience members, Casey was told he nailed his best performance. Simon sent him over to Shania to give her a kiss, while Kara probably seethed behind.
 
But who would want Casey when you can have Lee DeWyze? The ex-painter looked cute as pie in a ruffled suit as he sang "You're Still the One." A couple of loud back-up vocalists threatened to eclipse him before Ellen swooped in with a terrible non sequitur joke.
 
"All aboard the Shania Twain," she joked. And no one laughed.
 
Meanwhile Kara paid homage to one of the lyrics in the song and said, "Look how far you've come." Simon thought Lee picked the perfect song.
 
Coming in dead last, Big Mike checked his testosterone at the door to sing "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing." Though Shania teared up during the performance and Ellen compared him to Luther Vandross, Simon labeled it a "wet" - girly - performance.

Big Mike needs to man up, just like Crystal's boyfriend.