Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
You'll continue playing dress-up this week, despite being almost 30, and feeling kind of silly every time you put on that professional-looking suit.
Past Horoscopes
March 2, 2010
Aries You'll continue playing dress-up this week, despite being almost 30, and feeling kind of silly every time you put on that professional-looking suit.
February 16, 2010
Taurus Please stop insisting you have nothing left to live for. The phrase you're looking for is "never had a reason to live."
February 9, 2010
Gemini Try not to hold onto any animosity you may feel toward your coworkers this week, as that asshole Dave would probably love it if you did.
February 2, 2010
Cancer Your insistence that no one can possibly know how you feel right now will only point out how pathetic it is to be dumped by three bearded ladies in a row.
January 26, 2010
Leo Alien visitors from another galaxy will soon present mankind with the secret to peace, but not before you shoot the living hell out of them.
January 19, 2010
Virgo That run for the record books once again falls short when you start Boston's all-time second-largest fire.
January 12, 2010
Libra A man is defined by the decisions he makes. Not listening to this piece of trite advice is probably a good start.
January 5, 2010
Scorpio Juggling three young children isn't easy for any mother, but then, that's why you start with tennis balls and bowling pins first.
December 8, 2009
Sagittarius The debate over stun guns will take a strange turn when you drunkenly decide that they probably wouldn't work on you.
