Soda Tax Suggested In California
"Kids today are crafty. You can tax their favorite drinks all you want, but they'll still find a way to get fat."
Latest Sarah Palin Speech Opens Sixth Seal
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Geithner Refuses To Come Down Off Capitol Dome
WASHINGTON—Three days after a sulking Timothy Geithner climbed to the top of the U.S. Capitol dome, the treasury secretary remained steadfast Monday in his refusal to come down. "You all...
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CIA Forced To Complete All Scheduled Torture In One Hectic Weekend
WASHINGTON—Following the launch of a Justice Department criminal probe into the CIA's alleged abuse of detainees, the intelligence agency was forced last week to complete months of...
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Gay Marriage Passes In 9 States After Area Homosexual Dunks On Regulation Rim
MONTGOMERY, AL—A two-handed slam dunk by an openly homosexual man set off a chain of events this week that culminated in the legalization of gay marriage in nine states, including...
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Senator Misses Simpler Time When He Could Do Abominable Things In Peace
WASHINGTON—After being targeted by a Senate Ethics Committee probe for engaging in alleged improprieties with a former staffer, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) took the Senate floor Tuesday to...
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Supreme Court Allows Corporations To Run For Political Office
WASHINGTON—In a landmark decision that overturned decades of legal precedent, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 Tuesday to remove all restrictions that had previously barred corporations from...
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White House Infested With Bedbugs After Biden Brings In Recliner Off The Curb
WASHINGTON—The White House suffered a severe bedbug infestation last week after Vice President Joe Biden reportedly "scored" a discarded recliner chair that "someone was just throwing out"...
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Bald Eagle Tired Of Everyone Just Assuming It Supports War
THE OREGON WILDERNESS—Frustrated by the widely held assumption that he unequivocally endorses the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, a bald eagle said Monday that his thoughts on the conflicts...
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Oi! The Americans 'ave Picked A President!
Well bless my 'eart and call me Cromwell! The yank election 'as come to an end at last. Isn't it wonderful? A new leader...
The Cauldron Of History
It has been brought to my attention that another flag-bedecked, bunting-encrusted electoral pantechnicon has been brought...
