Obese Filmmaker Booted From Flight
"I feel sorry for all the passengers who missed out on a 40-minute monologue exploring Star Wars and oral sex."
Scrappy Crew Of 'Good Morning America' Decides To Put On A News Show
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10-Year-Old Shocked Woman From 'Guinness Book' Who Can Pop Her Eyes Out Not A Millionaire
CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Stunned shock and dismay were just a few of the reactions from Bobby Guntergrass on Tuesday when the 10-year-old learned that the woman from The Guinness Book Of World...
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Mayonnaise, Black Forest Ham To Share Top Billing In Upcoming Sandwich
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Lunch insiders confirmed rumors Monday that Mayonnaise and Black Forest Ham would share top billing in a highly anticipated upcoming sandwich, which sources said is still in...
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Friendship Between Caterpillar, Horse Exploited For Cheap Children's Book
BLACKSBURG, VA—Scholars and critics across the country expressed outrage this week following the release of Chomper & Clomper, a children's book that some have called an irresponsible...
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Jay-Z: 'On Second Thought, I Like Orlando More'
ORLANDO, FL—Though known for his personal homages to New York City in songs such as "Brooklyn's Finest" and "Empire State of Mind," hip-hop icon Jay-Z announced Monday that, upon closer...
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'CSI' Set To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show
MIAMI—Just three weeks before its highly anticipated on-field performance at the Super Bowl XLIV halftime show, the popular CBS crime drama CSI is gearing up for what network...
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That Show About The Lady Sheriff Finally Released On DVD
WAVERLY, NE—A comprehensive 12-disc box set containing every episode of that show about the lady sheriff is now available for retail purchase, area shopper T. Eric Mayhew told reporters...
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Clint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed Man
LOS ANGELES— Five-time Academy Award winner and Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood attended a press junket Tuesday to promote his new film Invictus, the latest project in the director's...
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Early Humans Finally Drunk Enough To Invent Dancing
Prominent ethnochoreologists now believe that roughly 20,000 years ago, early humans finally consumed an amount of fermented fruits and vegetables staggering enough to develop the impulsive series...
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TV Listings
Undercover Employee
CBS
8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST
A man who Pepsi executives think is the new CFO is actually a high school dropout and delivery-truck driver with no managerial experience.
Seven O'Clock Saturday Night At The Olive Garden
CBS
7 p.m. EST/6 p.m. CST
Can Patterson, party of five, outlast the competition in an hour-long wait with nowhere to sit, nothing to read, and a nearly empty Applebee's across the parking lot?
