Rise In Teen Pregnancy Proves Teens Still Got It 02.15.10

WASHINGTON—Despite concerns that abstinence-only programs were robbing teens of their natural ability to bring it, these Bush-era initiatives have actually reinvigorated the sexually active group, allowing them to dig deep and strut their stuff like never before. more»

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NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission 02.08.10

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA officials announced today the successful launch of the new shuttle Moonage Daydream, marking the beginning of a long-anticipated two-week conceptual mission...
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Alzheimer's Disease Causing Baby Boomers To Misremember 1960s Even More 02.04.10

PALO ALTO, CA—Alzheimer's researchers at Stanford University published a study this week showing that the degenerative brain disease is beginning to affect the baby boomer generation,...
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Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet 01.27.10

CUPERTINO, CA—Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all night Tuesday in a desperate...
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Science Channel Refuses To Dumb Down Science Any Further 01.26.10

SILVER SPRING, MD—Frustrated by continued demands from viewers for more awesome and extreme programming, Science Channel president Clark Bunting told reporters Tuesday that his cable network...
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'How Bad For The Environment Can Throwing Away One Plastic Bottle Be?' 30 Million People Wonder 01.19.10

WASHINGTON—Wishing to dispose of the empty plastic container, and failing to spot a recycling bin nearby, an estimated 30 million Americans asked themselves Monday how bad throwing away a...
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World's Physicists Complete Study Of Physics 01.14.10

HARIMA, JAPAN—Saying that there was no more knowledge to acquire about the physical nature of the universe, the International Union of Pure and Applied Physics announced Monday that it had...
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New Grown-Up Monitor Allows Children To Listen In On Parents Crying 01.11.10

EAST AURORA, NY—Fisher-Price announced the release of a new grown-up monitor Monday that will allow children to remotely keep tabs on their crying parents at a range of up to 400 feet....
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Evolution Going Great, Reports Trilobite 12.16.09

Slowly inching his segmented exoskeleton across the sea floor, a local marine arthropod, class Trilobita, reported that Earth's natural evolution was "progressing quite...
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