Bald Eagle Tired Of Everyone Just Assuming It Supports War 02.01.10

THE OREGON WILDERNESS—"I think World War II was justified, and I got behind the first Gulf War [in 1990]," said the bird, who has served as the national symbol of the United States since 1782. "But the recent war in Iraq, with its shifting rationale and poor planning, was clearly a huge mistake." more»

recent Politics news »

Geithner Refuses To Come Down Off Capitol Dome 02.22.10

WASHINGTON—Three days after a sulking Timothy Geithner climbed to the top of the U.S. Capitol dome, the treasury secretary remained steadfast Monday in his refusal to come down. "You all...
…more »
CIA Forced To Complete All Scheduled Torture In One Hectic Weekend 02.19.10

WASHINGTON—Following the launch of a Justice Department criminal probe into the CIA's alleged abuse of detainees, the intelligence agency was forced last week to complete months of...
…more »
Gay Marriage Passes In 9 States After Area Homosexual Dunks On Regulation Rim 02.18.10

MONTGOMERY, AL—A two-handed slam dunk by an openly homosexual man set off a chain of events this week that culminated in the legalization of gay marriage in nine states, including...
…more »
Senator Misses Simpler Time When He Could Do Abominable Things In Peace 02.16.10

WASHINGTON—After being targeted by a Senate Ethics Committee probe for engaging in alleged improprieties with a former staffer, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) took the Senate floor Tuesday to...
…more »
Tea Party Movement Hopelessly Divided Into Enraged, Apoplectic Factions 02.15.10

WASHINGTON—Organizers of the Tea Party movement, a group opposed to the federal government’s attempts to alleviate the ongoing financial crisis through increased spending and taxation,... …more »
Supreme Court Allows Corporations To Run For Political Office 02.03.10

WASHINGTON—In a landmark decision that overturned decades of legal precedent, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 Tuesday to remove all restrictions that had previously barred corporations from...
…more »
White House Infested With Bedbugs After Biden Brings In Recliner Off The Curb 02.03.10

WASHINGTON—The White House suffered a severe bedbug infestation last week after Vice President Joe Biden reportedly "scored" a discarded recliner chair that "someone was just throwing out"...
…more »
Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy 01.11.10

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce...
…more »