Disney Shutters Miramax
"That's good. I always thought it was bullshit that Disney got to hide behind Miramax every time they wanted to release a violent movie where Mickey beats the shit out of Pluto."
Friendship Between Caterpillar, Horse Exploited For Cheap Children's Book
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Mayonnaise, Black Forest Ham To Share Top Billing In Upcoming Sandwich
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Lunch insiders confirmed rumors Monday that Mayonnaise and Black Forest Ham would share top billing in a highly anticipated upcoming sandwich, which sources said is still in...
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Jay-Z: 'On Second Thought, I Like Orlando More'
ORLANDO, FL—Though known for his personal homages to New York City in songs such as "Brooklyn's Finest" and "Empire State of Mind," hip-hop icon Jay-Z announced Monday that, upon closer...
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'CSI' Set To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show
MIAMI—Just three weeks before its highly anticipated on-field performance at the Super Bowl XLIV halftime show, the popular CBS crime drama CSI is gearing up for what network...
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That Show About The Lady Sheriff Finally Released On DVD
WAVERLY, NE—A comprehensive 12-disc box set containing every episode of that show about the lady sheriff is now available for retail purchase, area shopper T. Eric Mayhew told reporters...
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Clint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed Man
LOS ANGELES— Five-time Academy Award winner and Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood attended a press junket Tuesday to promote his new film Invictus, the latest project in the director's...
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Early Humans Finally Drunk Enough To Invent Dancing
Prominent ethnochoreologists now believe that roughly 20,000 years ago, early humans finally consumed an amount of fermented fruits and vegetables staggering enough to develop the impulsive series...
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Four Or Five Guys Pretty Much Carry Whole Renaissance
Following 1,000 years of cultural decline and societal collapse known as the Dark Ages, the 15th century brought forth the Renaissance, an unprecedented resurgence in learning and the arts, which...
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Holiday Music Aficionado Urges Friends To Check Out 'Frosty The Snowman'
SAN DIEGO—Calling it one of the "true overlooked gems" in the American Christmas-song canon, holiday music aficionado Steve Robinson strongly recommended this week that his friends "do...
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TV Listings
Repurposing Lines From The Hangover
SPIKE
10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST
"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon" is used ad infinitum near a keg at a University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire house party.
Clean Your Computer Desktop!
BRAVO
7 p.m. EST/6 p.m. CST
Expert desktop cleaner Abra Tabak comes in to help a busy single mom clean up the unnecessary icons on her Dell.
