mobile edition

At the AV Club: Harrison Ford

Opinion

  • Gorzo The Mighty

    Gorzo The Mighty

    Gorzo The Mighty, Emperor Of The Universe, has ruled the galaxy since the mid-Earth-1930s. A longtime arch-nemesis of Crash Comet, Space Commander from the Year 2000, Gorzo is known for his willingness to sadistically blast into atoms all who defy him. His hobbies include breeding Giant Carnivorous Star Worms and wielding the awesome destructive power of his Imperial Robo-Legions. He is represented by Janine Freiberg at CAA.

Emperor Of The Universe

  • Earth, Prepare To Meet Thy DOOM!

    This past earthly solar cycle was one to be remembered. A year of change. A year of hope. Pitiful, misplaced hope! But by far, the single most...

  • And Now For Some... Amusement

    After all the times you have thwarted me... After all the times my plans for world domination...

  • Oh Yes... I Am Still Very Much Alive!

    Ha! I see by the look of terror in your pathetic Earthling eyes that you did not expect to see me standing here when the sliding doors to the...

  • You Shall Make An Excellent Queen

    Grand Vizier Adrakus! Prepare a full report on the attempted siege of my palace! Spare no detail, and have the Royal Theater Guild prepare a full operatic dramatization for next month's Tyranny Day festivities!

  • Infidel!

    Bring forth the prisoners! I, Gorzo The Mighty, hereby decree that Crash Comet, Space Commander From The Year 2000, and his puny boy sidekick, Buddy Jeepers, are to be executed summarily, vaporized, and their space-particles scattered across the farthest reaches of the cosmos! I have spoken! But...

  • Seize Him!

    Ah, yes. I see you have captured my elusive Earthling quarry at last. Well done, guard! You have greatly pleased your master. Bring him forward at once! I wish to speak with him face to face... before his annihilation.

see all by Gorzo The Mighty »

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »